All language subtitles for H.H.S03E07.The.Horrible.Hero.1080p.HDTV.x264.CRiMSON.95044_track1_[eng]

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Original subtitles

- For years, I thought the wicked witch of the west was this...

Mean, green, puppy-hating machine, but... Then I watched wicked,

where she's an intelligent young woman fighting an oppressive regime.

So what's the truth?

Is she a villain, or a vigilante?

I mean, wouldn't you be a bit peeved if someone dropped a house

on your sister and stole her shoes? (laughing)

all I'm saying is that there's always two sides to every story.

- What if we did something about the town's first cucumber field?

- While I appreciate our town's link to the humble pickle,

I worry that it's not a particularly challenging topic for our history presentation.

- We can do the moment that thomas collins discovered this area.

We could dress up as the settlers!

- Yes! Costumes are for sure a.

- But then you and claudia would have no one to dress up as.

Since all the settlers were men?

- Um, if there were no women, how could there be any descendants?

- Don't mind me. I'm just searching the entire farm for mom's pie dishes.

- How could there be zero women in collinsville history?

- Oh, well, there probably wasn't zero, but when people write history,

it's usually the women who get edited out.

Like how no one knew anything about katherine johnson for, like, 50-something years.

- Who?

- She was a really smart black woman who did all the math and got nasa into space, right?

- How did people discover the truth?

- I think someone did a bunch of interviews or dug up some old files.

Journals, photographs, that sort of thing.

- We should do that! Dig up documents from the founding

of collinsville at the library.

We could prove that women were part of it.

- Good luck.

- If you guys wanna waste your time at the library, that's perfectly fine with me.

I am gonna go work on my costume.

If anyone else would like an easy a, you're welcome to join me.

(claudia sighing)

- you realize this presentation is in two days, right?

- If there are women who helped build this town,

don't you think it's time we set the record straight?

(sighing) - mm.

- We can prove mark wrong.

- I'm in.

♪ you and me run to a different beat ♪

♪ we are brave lead the way lead the way ♪

♪ be the you inside ♪

♪ and watch the world take flight ♪

♪ we are brave lead the way lead the way ♪

♪ be the change ♪

♪ be the change ♪

♪ gotta be the change ♪

- aw. Everyone online is being so nice about me quitting the influencer life.

- Okay, focus. - Right.

- If we charge 50 cents for a mini-slice,

that's approximately two square inches,

that means each pie will pull in...

$19.62, less expenses.

- Hmm. - Mm. Kind of a narrow margin.

Maybe we should charge $1 a slice?

- Don't you usually sit with holly?

- Hmm. Me and holly are not friends anymore.

I put so much effort into making her an online success, and she just throws it all away.

- Okay, give it time. You two will be hugging like old times.

You just make sense together, like mac 'n cheese.

- What if this cheese is more of a vegan halloumi

and goes better with a couscous salad? Ever think of that?

- Okay, you're selling yourself short.

You're at least a non-dairy brie.

(scoffing) - hey.

Uh, amy and I have been working on a fundraiser and I wanted to know what you think.

- Classic holly. Always trying to do something so noble.

- I, um... Thanks?

Anyway, there are so many pie flavours, right? It's impossible to try them all.

Until now. This fundraiser gives you the opportunity

to buy a mini-slice of pie just for a $1.

And the best part is that all the proceeds will go to the park beautification fund.

- Let me guess. You're gonna call it something cute,

like, "beautify with pie."

- oh! We've actually been struggling for a name.

That's perfect! Thank you. Anyway.

The whole reason I came over here:

I was kind of hoping that maybe you could whip up an ad for us?

- Well, I'm kind of busy. - Oh, but you're so good at graphic design.

Anything you could do in 10 minutes would be so much better

than what I could do in five hours.

Please?

- I guess I could help. - Yes. Thank you so, so, so much.

I knew I could count on you.

- You think holly got the message that you two are over?

(tyler chuckling) (piper sighing)

- I can't believe they have all these old letters and notebooks

from when collinsville was first founded. Libraries are amazing!

- Yeah, well, I can't believe there are this many journal entries

about cucumbers and not a single mention of a woman.

- I hate to say it, but maybe we should just do mark's thing.

- He'd make us grovel. (sighing) let's just keep looking.

- I must admit that even I am losing heart.

We should consider a backup plan.

- R. Flaherty was one of the original settlers with thomas collins, right?

- Correct. Richard flaherty.

- Well, look at this letter that he wrote to his wife in England.

He talks about this community that already lived here.

- Like an indigenous community? - Looks like it.

And it sounds like they farmed stuff, like corn, beans, squash.

And if I'm reading this right, those farmers were mainly women.

- Well, that makes sense. The men would've been out hunting.

- "if not for the kindness of those women,

we would not have learned to farm this land.

And if not for their expertise, we would not have survived the winter."

- do you know what this means? There's a whole untold history of collinsville,

and we discovered it! We're gonna get an a!

- Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

- Yeah, don't we still need, like, a bunch of sources?

- What could be a better source than this letter?

With this, we proved that thomas collins didn't settle this land.

Those women did.

- You're right! We are so gonna crush mark.

- Pshh. A can of pop courtesy of the vending machine.

- Thanks. Just so you know, you don't have to stick around.

I know I'm being a major grumplestiltskin.

- Do you want me to leave? - I mean... Only if you want to.

- But I don't.

So why did you help out holly in the first place?

- I didn't want to, but as soon as she said charity,

I felt like I'd be a bad person if I didn't help. Whatever.

It's fine. I'll just bottle up my emotions. That's healthy, right?

- Okay, when my parents were splitting up,

my therapist said to write all those things that were making me feel upset.

- You have a diary?

- Yes. You should try it, because there's something freeing

about taking all those bad feelings and putting them on the page.

- Like what?

- "holly only cares about people when she wants something from them."

- like this poster I'm making for her.

- This is good. Get it out.

"holly has questionable taste in pies."

- she thinks apple is the best.

It is a classic, but it is not numero uno.

- You are an enigma, piper parish.

"holly wears a cloak."

- yes! Because she's a fun vampire!

She sucks the fun out of everything. (laughing)

(both sighing)

you're right. I do feel better.

- Glad I could help.

- Well, I need to finish this file and post it.

So...

These beautiful pastures.

I, thomas collins,

shall build a town here!

And that town will be called collinsville!

- Excellent work, finding three sources.

And bonus marks for the costume.

Next up, heather, levi, claudia.

- Beat that. - Oh, we will.

Okay, we all know a lot about history,

but now it's time for some herstory.

- Thomas collins, richard flaherty, reginald b. Watts.

We know them as the settlers who founded collinsville.

- But they weren't the first people to occupy this land.

- Before thomas collins and his merry band of men set up shop,

there was a community of indigenous people that lived here before.

- Pardon the interruption, but I believe the indigenous peoples

of this region were nomads, not settlers.

- Actually, ms. Hill, that's a common misconception.

Although some communities migrated between their own territories,

many of them were stationary.

We found this old letter written by richard flaherty and he says

that without the help of the women who tended those farms,

the settlers wouldn't have learned to grow their own food and survive the winter.

The collinsville we know and love wouldn't exist.

- I'm sorry to interrupt again, but is this letter the only source you have?

(laughter) - it's a primary source.

We found it in the city's archives.

- What you found is intriguing,

but the assignment was a presentation on collinsville's first settlers,

with no less than three verified sources.

And you failed to do this.

- Are we getting an f? - No.

You're getting a second chance. You can present again tomorrow.

Just make sure you choose a topic you can back up robustly.

Okay, who's next?

(sighing)

(bell ringing) (laughter)

- if you're here to gloat, you can keep on walking, mark.

- I don't go by mark anymore. It's mr. A-minus now.

- That's gloating!

- Shall we abscond to the library?

I'm confident we'll find evidence that proves our claim.

- You want to present the same topic?

- At the risk of getting an f? No way.

- But the truth deserves to see the light of day.

- Then I'm sorry, but you're doing that on your own.

I'm doing the project the way we should've done it the first time.

This whole thing was a huge waste of time.

- Um... Kind of in my way, heather.

- Yeah, well, you ruined my night, so I'm here to ruin yours.

- And what did I do, exactly?

- You gave us that whole speech about history depending on who's telling it.

So we went to the library and found this letter

saying indigenous women farmed this area before collinsville was here.

- Heather, that's amazing! - Yeah, except I only found one letter,

so now I get to spend my entire night making a whole new presentation.

Thank you for that, by the way. Just letting you know.

- Oh, you just have to keep digging. - You sound like such a claudia.

Okay, I get that it's important, but why do I have to be the one that fights for it?

- You know what?

You're right.

- Really? I thought you were gonna tell me

it's my responsibility as a human being to go out there

and kick injustice in the butt or whatever.

- Trying to change the world is hard.

Why go through all that trouble for a silly little history project?

- Because these women deserve to have their stories told. - Let someone else tell it.

- Like claudia? I mean, what if she misses something?

An extra pair of eyes sure would help a...

(chuckling)

you just reverse-psychology'd me, didn't you?

(laughing) - look. I know you don't think

that you "kick injustice in the butt" or whatever,

but it sure sounds like you want to.

- Ugh. I need to call claudia.

- And I need to finish these pies.

- Hello? - Hey, I'm coming to help. Wh-where are you?

- Great question. I reread the letter,

and it mentioned the indigenous settlement was near the river,

and that it was low enough that you could cross it on foot.

So I thought that must be crossing point river.

But I got a little lost trying to find it.

- You're lost in the woods by yourself? - What did you say?

- Claudia, that's so dangerous.

- Heather... Cutting out. - Claudia!

- Hey. - Hey...

Your message said you wanted to talk?

- I did. I mean, I do.

About you know...

- When you kissed me? - Oh, this is so embarrassing.

- You're embarrassed? - Well, now you know I like you.

- Yeah... I like you, too.

- No, like... I "like" like you.

- Yeah, and I "like" like you, too.

- But what about holly? - Holly's holly, but she's no piper parish.

(phone buzzing) (piper chuckling)

(piper sighing) you don't have to answer that.

- I might be mad at her, but... She's doing this for a good cause.

(buzzing) (sighing)

hello. - We've been hacked.

Have you reset the passwords? - What are you talking about?

- Someone took the fundraiser poster you made, wrote mean stuff about me on it,

then posted it from our beautify with pie account.

- Oh, no, no, no, no! - Who would say,

"holly only cares about people when she needs something from them"?

Don't worry. I've already called amy.

With her sherlock holmes brain, we'll catch whoever did this in no time.

Meeting at my place in 20.

Bye.

- I must've posted the wrong file!

If holly finds out it was me, she's gonna be devastated! What do I do?

- Go into witness protection?

(birdsong) - claudia!

- Claudia!! - Claudia!

(heather sighing)

(bird cawing) - we're never gonna find her!

- Well, we gave it our best try. - We can't just go home.

- I didn't ask for claudia to come out here to the woods by herself.

Why are we friends with this girl again?

- Yeah, I know, it's totally reckless.

(sighing) but I kind of get why she did it.

- Really? Please explain it to me, because I'm a little hangry,

and even if I wasn't, I don't think I'd understand claudia.

- I dunno. It just kind of sucks that we never heard about those indigenous farmers before.

- There's a lot we haven't heard of.

- I know, but this wasn't even in our textbooks. - That's how the world works.

It's not like there's a bunch of people that look like me doing things in our textbooks.

For most of history, we weren't even allowed to learn to read.

- What? How did I not know this?

(claudia): Hello!!!

- Did you hear that?

- I think it's claudia! (both): Claudia!

(claudia): Help!! (heather): Claudia?

- Uh, maybe the things on the poster are clues. What's your favourite pie?

- Apple. What's wrong with that?

- Nothing. Apple is perfect.

Which means whoever wrote this has a twisted view on pies - and reality.

What's with this "cloak" thing? Do you even own a cloak?

- I mean, I think I wore a rain poncho once to an outdoor concert.

(scoffing) does that count?

- It means she's a fun vampire. Like she sucks the fun out of things.

- How did you know that?

- I mean, everyone knows that.

- I didn't. Neither did holly.

- Amy, come on. Piper obviously didn't do it. - I know, I know.

- It was an accident!

I was mad because you didn't want to be an influencer anymore.

I was just blowing off steam. I definitely did not mean for you to see it.

And I didn't mean to post it.

- You wrote all that stuff?

- I did.

- Huh.

- She tried to make that influencer thing work,

but it was wrong for her.

She was honest about it, which is more than you can say.

- So I should... I should just tell her how I feel?

- She already knows how you feel.

It's time for you to apologize.

(sniffling)

- claudia! - Claudia!

- Claudia! - Guys! Over here!

- I think she's this way. - Oh, no. Claudia, what happened?

- I twisted my ankle on some roots and now I can't walk.

- You shouldn't have come out here by yourself!

(sighing) - I know, I know. I'm sorry.

(heather sighing) - no, I'm sorry.

You were right to want to keep digging.

- What's that?

- I think it's a piece of pottery.

- But it looks ancient. - No way! - Oh, my stars!

(laughter)

(sighing) (bell ringing)

- you know, I'm really glad your ankle isn't broken.

- Me, too.

- Here you go. - Thank you. - What have you got there?

Piece of a broken pot?

- It's a piece of history.

- Nope!

This is a piece of terra cotta. You can pick that up in any garden store.

(laughing) - no, that's... Not right. - Not again.

- We are never gonna get justice for those farmers. - Which farmers?

- The indigenous women who farmed this land before thomas collins arrived.

- Oh, is this what you're studying for school?

Nate is gonna be thrilled.

- What do you mean? - That's what he did his master's degree in.

- Wait. Really? - Yeah.

- Were there indigenous people who lived here before the settlers arrived?

- Straight to the big question. (laughter)

yes, there were. And not only that,

but thomas collins was directly responsible for the tribe picking up roots and leaving.

- I thought they were friends. - Didn't they teach him how to farm the land?

- Originally the two groups were on amicable terms, and yes,

the farmers did help collins and his cohort plant their first crop.

- Were the farmers women? - You bet they were! (nate chuckling)

- well, how did collins make them leave?

- After he learned to farm their land,

he built a rudimentary dam to divert the river.

Made it easier for him to irrigate his crops,

but it also diminished the indigenous people's access to water.

Without water, their own crop yields shrank.

They soon found they didn't have enough to sustain their community.

- And that's why they left?

That's awful. I had no idea.

- That's probably why you couldn't find anything at crossing point river.

It's a river crossing now, but 250 years ago, it ran a different course.

- Correct again. I see you youngsters have done your research.

- Actually, we haven't.

But maybe you could point us in the right direction?

- I'd be happy to. (laughter)

- piper?

- Hey! How's your prep for the fundraiser going? - Um, good.

Savannah just dropped off some pies and decorations. She made banana-cream.

- I'll buy it.

(sighing)

pie me. - What?

- When you quit our influencer thing, I was mad,

because I put so much hard work into it and you threw it away like it was nothing.

- I just... It wasn't my thing. - I know, but...

I thought I wasn't your thing.

- No! No, I never said that.

(sighing) but...

I do think I took your hard work for granted, and I am sorry for that.

- It doesn't matter. I should've never written those mean things about you.

It's not how I feel about you.

This will make us even.

- Banana-cream is my second-favourite flavour. - So sweet and creamy.

- It'd be a shame to waste it. Do you want to share it instead?

- Does this mean we're still friends? - Let's go get two forks.

- With this dam, thomas collins was able to redirect the river towards his fields.

- But as a result, it made it more difficult for the indigenous farmers

to access the water on their own land, which was stolen from them.

- This is just one of the many ways the settlers' presence

was negatively impacting their way of life.

- We may think we have thomas collins to thank for collinsville,

but he's not the hero our history books make him out to be.

- I'll admit this isn't what I was expecting,

but you've told us something about the founding of collinsville,

which you've backed up with three sources!

Well done!

I've decided to change your mark from an f to an a.

(exclamations) minus.

- But, like, we uncovered a truth that isn't even in our history books.

- A day late. But thank you for the lesson.

- I mean, at least we tied with mark,

so now he can't gloat about his grades anymore.

- Yeah, for real. He texted me, like, nine times about it last night.

Makes me pretty glad we didn't dress up as settlers. (laughter)

hey, could you pass the potatoes, please?

- Yes, everyone please help yourselves to seconds.

Save us from an eternity of leftovers.

- I'm sorry I doubted you. We only pulled that off because you didn't give up.

- Actually, I did give up. But then you found me,

and all was well in the universe.

(phone ringing)

(sighing)

- no phones at the table, holly. - Hey.

Who's the parent here? No phones at the table, holly.

- But it's piper and...

We have this whole thing today and it's really important I take this.

- Well... (phone ringing)

it's fine, it's fine.

- Ah, thank you.

- Double standards in action, ladies and gentlemen.

- Hey. - Hey, holly. - I'm really glad you called.

After everything that happened between us, I just...

I wanted to ask if maybe we could make a deal.

- For the last time, holly, no, you cannot have my blue cropped hoodie,

no matter how good you look in it.

(laughing)

- let's promise to always be honest with each other.

No matter what. I don't want anything that happened with the...

Poster thing to happen again, okay?

- Actually, I'm glad you brought that up,

because there's something else you should probably know.

And this was actually what I was calling to tell you.

Tyler and I are dating.

I know you guys used to have a thing, so I wanted to make sure you're the first to know.

(holly): That's... Great.

Super-duper great. (laughing awkwardly)

I have no issues with that whatsoever.

Honest.

(music)

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