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1
00:00:02,861 --> 00:00:05,541
It's the first time Shannon's
ever been early for summat.
2
00:00:05,541 --> 00:00:08,941
Apart from when they opened
TGI Fridays in Watford.
3
00:00:08,941 --> 00:00:10,821
She camped out overnight.
4
00:00:10,821 --> 00:00:12,981
Ooh, their Jack Daniel's sauce.
5
00:00:14,061 --> 00:00:16,781
It's like crack cocaine.
THEY LAUGH
6
00:00:16,781 --> 00:00:18,581
I feel like I'm
in the Spice World movie!
7
00:00:18,581 --> 00:00:21,381
You know, when they're rushing
to see their mate give birth,
8
00:00:21,381 --> 00:00:23,381
but they've also got
a gig at the Albert Hall,
9
00:00:23,381 --> 00:00:25,181
and Meatloaf's gone AWOL,
having a shit.
10
00:00:25,181 --> 00:00:26,741
It's my favourite piece of cinema.
11
00:00:26,741 --> 00:00:29,581
Mate, I'm, like, thrilled you
introduced me to that, seriously.
12
00:00:29,581 --> 00:00:31,701
Like, Victoria is, like,
really good in it.
13
00:00:31,701 --> 00:00:33,461
You two are so gay.
14
00:00:33,461 --> 00:00:34,821
OK...
15
00:00:34,821 --> 00:00:37,141
THEY ALL WHEEZE
16
00:00:38,781 --> 00:00:40,261
Don't worry.
17
00:00:40,261 --> 00:00:42,861
She's in the best hands.
18
00:00:42,861 --> 00:00:44,101
I know.
19
00:00:45,181 --> 00:00:46,901
I just...
20
00:00:46,901 --> 00:00:48,941
I hate this place.
21
00:00:48,941 --> 00:00:51,861
When my dad went into a
hospice, we all drove him in.
22
00:00:51,861 --> 00:00:54,501
It was the only bit of the hospital
with free parking.
23
00:00:54,501 --> 00:00:56,581
He was on so much morphine,
24
00:00:56,581 --> 00:00:59,301
only now and then would we get
glimmers of clarity.
25
00:00:59,301 --> 00:01:01,741
I ain't dying in this shithole, OK?
26
00:01:04,421 --> 00:01:07,741
He promised that night he would
drive us home in the cab,
27
00:01:07,741 --> 00:01:10,301
unable to quantify he might not.
28
00:01:10,301 --> 00:01:12,221
I'm gonna take us home, son.
29
00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:15,501
I promise.
30
00:01:22,861 --> 00:01:24,501
I promise.
31
00:01:33,101 --> 00:01:34,861
Hey, listen, love...
32
00:01:35,981 --> 00:01:38,301
I want to talk about your future.
33
00:01:38,301 --> 00:01:40,021
Let's not, Laurie.
34
00:01:40,021 --> 00:01:41,261
I...
35
00:01:41,261 --> 00:01:43,141
...don't always feel I have one.
36
00:01:44,661 --> 00:01:47,901
We've got to sort the will
and the house and...
37
00:01:47,901 --> 00:01:50,261
...funeral plans.
38
00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:52,101
If you meet another bloke... Oh...
39
00:01:52,101 --> 00:01:53,941
No, no. Sh.
40
00:01:53,941 --> 00:01:55,741
I won't mind. Laurie!
41
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:56,861
And I just...
42
00:01:56,861 --> 00:01:58,461
Make sure he's a good 'un, yeah?
43
00:01:58,461 --> 00:02:02,301
Cos if there is a heaven...
44
00:02:02,301 --> 00:02:04,821
...I'm cracking right on
with Princess Di.
45
00:02:04,821 --> 00:02:07,181
She wouldn't touch you
with a bargepole. Oh, yeah?
46
00:02:07,181 --> 00:02:09,741
Well, I thought I might have
a chance with Toyah Willcox, then.
47
00:02:09,741 --> 00:02:12,141
I'm really sorry, Laurie.
She's still alive.
48
00:02:12,141 --> 00:02:13,581
Is she?
49
00:02:13,581 --> 00:02:15,181
Oh, that's a shame.
50
00:02:16,941 --> 00:02:18,501
Come here.
51
00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:27,221
Listen...
52
00:02:27,221 --> 00:02:29,461
...don't worry about the funeral, cos...
53
00:02:29,461 --> 00:02:33,101
How many partygoers, or guests,
are we expecting?
54
00:02:33,101 --> 00:02:35,461
I don't know, Shan.
I ain't planning on being there.
55
00:02:35,461 --> 00:02:37,621
Well, will Alan and Shane be there?
56
00:02:37,621 --> 00:02:40,101
Oh, God, I hope not,
cos Shane's now voting BNP.
57
00:02:40,101 --> 00:02:41,861
And Alan's a love rat.
58
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:43,221
Yeah, yeah.
59
00:02:43,221 --> 00:02:46,141
But, you know, even dickheads
want to say their goodbyes.
60
00:02:48,181 --> 00:02:49,541
How are you doing, love?
61
00:02:49,541 --> 00:02:51,141
This is actually quite stressful.
62
00:02:51,141 --> 00:02:52,661
Hello, Nan.
63
00:02:52,661 --> 00:02:54,901
I'm Tariq. The father.
64
00:02:54,901 --> 00:02:57,061
Please don't talk to me like that.
65
00:02:58,981 --> 00:03:01,221
I'm very glad to be here!
66
00:03:01,221 --> 00:03:03,181
That's not good! No!
67
00:03:03,181 --> 00:03:05,821
Hello, hello! I am Kerry.
And I am Bernie.
68
00:03:05,821 --> 00:03:07,981
Hello, I'm Shannon.
Where's the midwife I know?
69
00:03:07,981 --> 00:03:09,621
Well, you are two weeks early,
70
00:03:09,621 --> 00:03:11,821
and Fatima, she's at her sister's
divorce buffet,
71
00:03:11,821 --> 00:03:13,981
so you are just going to have
to settle for us.
72
00:03:13,981 --> 00:03:15,301
Uh-oh.
73
00:03:15,301 --> 00:03:17,581
A male fucking midwife.
74
00:03:17,581 --> 00:03:19,301
What fucking next?
75
00:03:19,301 --> 00:03:23,021
But, look, we are very excited, cos
this is Ker's first birth here.
76
00:03:23,021 --> 00:03:24,341
Very first.
77
00:03:24,341 --> 00:03:27,021
But don't worry, you know,
luck of the Irish and all that shit.
78
00:03:27,021 --> 00:03:28,661
But I don't know any Irish people.
79
00:03:28,661 --> 00:03:29,861
Your name is Irish.
80
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:31,461
What? I thought it was Greek.
81
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,141
It's Greek!
82
00:03:33,141 --> 00:03:35,061
You're joking!
83
00:03:35,061 --> 00:03:37,781
We literally have an airport
named after you, you mad thing.
84
00:03:37,781 --> 00:03:39,781
I fucking love Shannon Airport.
85
00:03:39,781 --> 00:03:41,141
First-ever duty free!
86
00:03:41,141 --> 00:03:42,341
Here, smell me.
87
00:03:42,341 --> 00:03:43,861
BERNIE SNIFFS
88
00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:45,181
Oh, God. What's that.
89
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:47,541
Fantasy, Britney Spears. 19 euro.
90
00:03:47,541 --> 00:03:49,301
Can I...Can I smell it?
91
00:03:49,301 --> 00:03:51,101
Get that nose in there.
92
00:03:52,221 --> 00:03:53,701
SHANNON SNIFFS
93
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,181
That is stunning.
94
00:03:55,181 --> 00:03:57,501
Oh, shit.
The birthing bag's at mine.
95
00:03:57,501 --> 00:03:59,981
Can you hang about for a bit?
I might have to get it.
96
00:03:59,981 --> 00:04:02,461
Of course.
Oh, thanks, Russell.
97
00:04:02,461 --> 00:04:03,901
Sorry.
98
00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:05,181
Ah...
99
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,581
Oh, hi!
100
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,621
He's just a minicab driver.
101
00:04:10,621 --> 00:04:12,101
I've got a minicab here.
102
00:04:12,101 --> 00:04:13,821
Oh.
103
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,021
Why didn't you give him any money, then?
104
00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:17,661
All right, Jonathan Creek.
105
00:04:17,661 --> 00:04:19,581
Come on, Shan needs us.
106
00:04:19,581 --> 00:04:21,341
All right, T? All right?
107
00:04:21,341 --> 00:04:22,821
Yeah. You OK? Yeah.
108
00:04:24,261 --> 00:04:27,421
Um, so, Jack is quite drunk, so we
just need to sober him up a bit.
109
00:04:27,421 --> 00:04:28,781
Oh, OK, love.
110
00:04:28,781 --> 00:04:30,461
Can you get him some coke?
111
00:04:30,461 --> 00:04:31,701
What?
112
00:04:31,701 --> 00:04:33,381
Well, it always straightens me out.
113
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:34,981
Do you mean Coca-Cola?
114
00:04:34,981 --> 00:04:36,741
Yes, love. OK.
That and a Wispa bar.
115
00:04:36,741 --> 00:04:38,221
He'll be fine. Sure.
116
00:04:38,221 --> 00:04:40,221
Hi. I'm Tariq, the father.
117
00:04:40,221 --> 00:04:41,901
Hello.
118
00:04:41,901 --> 00:04:43,541
Hi. I'm Tariq, the father.
119
00:04:43,541 --> 00:04:45,061
PHONE TRILLS
120
00:04:45,061 --> 00:04:46,701
Hi. I'm Tariq, the father.
121
00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:47,901
What?
122
00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:50,141
I thought I was the father.
123
00:04:50,141 --> 00:04:52,461
Uh...
124
00:04:52,461 --> 00:04:55,741
I'm joking, mate. It's all right.
Good luck to you, pal.
125
00:04:55,741 --> 00:04:57,141
Hi. I'm...
126
00:04:57,141 --> 00:04:59,021
Aw...
127
00:04:59,021 --> 00:05:00,501
Has that been washed?
128
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,621
Of course it's been washed.
Don't be daft.
129
00:05:02,621 --> 00:05:04,381
I'm here, Shan. Oh.
130
00:05:04,381 --> 00:05:06,341
Oh. You got the birthing bag?
131
00:05:06,341 --> 00:05:08,621
Yeah. Popped in yours en route.
132
00:05:08,621 --> 00:05:09,941
OK.
133
00:05:09,941 --> 00:05:11,461
If there's anything you need.
134
00:05:11,461 --> 00:05:14,261
Oh, I haven't managed to do
my EuroMillions tonight.
135
00:05:14,261 --> 00:05:16,661
So, if you could - 2-4-6-8-10.
136
00:05:16,661 --> 00:05:18,421
Lucky stars - 6 and 9.
137
00:05:18,421 --> 00:05:19,581
Oh.
138
00:05:19,581 --> 00:05:23,061
Ooh, sorry, lads, but there are
way too many people in here.
139
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:25,381
OK? So, the father can stay, and...
140
00:05:25,381 --> 00:05:27,461
..one more.
141
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,661
OK...
142
00:05:29,661 --> 00:05:31,221
Um...
143
00:05:31,221 --> 00:05:33,141
Just one more?
144
00:05:34,261 --> 00:05:35,821
Cheeky bitch!
145
00:05:35,821 --> 00:05:38,661
For six months, I've fed her,
scraped the hard skin off her feet,
146
00:05:38,661 --> 00:05:41,221
prepped her. Tariq's in the room,
she barely knows him.
147
00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:43,141
Of course she's going to want you
in there...
148
00:05:43,141 --> 00:05:45,661
Excuse me, nurse.
Where are the nearest bogs?
149
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,701
Oh. Follow me.
150
00:05:48,701 --> 00:05:50,181
Ooh!
151
00:05:50,181 --> 00:05:53,141
Grindr in hospitals always pops off!
152
00:05:53,141 --> 00:05:55,381
Horny doctors on long shifts.
153
00:05:55,381 --> 00:05:57,821
Overnight patients away
from their wives.
154
00:05:57,821 --> 00:06:00,021
Yemi, you can't have sex
in a hospital.
155
00:06:00,021 --> 00:06:03,101
I've been there, I've done that
and I kept the backless gown.
156
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,781
Jesus Christ.
157
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,501
Hospitals are boring places.
158
00:06:06,501 --> 00:06:08,621
When people are bored,
they need to cum.
159
00:06:08,621 --> 00:06:11,181
All right, come on, treacle.
Let's get you some munch.
160
00:06:12,661 --> 00:06:14,461
Are you OK?
161
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,701
Remember, the last time we were
here was for...
162
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:19,741
Oh, yeah. No. I'm OK.
163
00:06:19,741 --> 00:06:21,061
Are YOU OK?
164
00:06:22,181 --> 00:06:24,061
The pill hit me very hard. Yeah.
165
00:06:24,061 --> 00:06:26,021
And right now, I just really
want to get some...
166
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:28,021
Cockney mothers,
they are my favourite.
167
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:31,461
Makes me feel like I am
in Call the Midwife!
168
00:06:31,461 --> 00:06:35,301
Sorry, can I just say, you look
absolutely gorgeous tonight.
169
00:06:35,301 --> 00:06:36,621
Do I? Yeah.
170
00:06:36,621 --> 00:06:39,061
I think it's that
medicated shampoo you're using.
171
00:06:39,061 --> 00:06:41,141
It's really
cleared up your scalp a treat.
172
00:06:41,141 --> 00:06:42,901
I mean, I have to say...
Hmm?
173
00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:44,901
...I have dreamt of having a baby
with you.
174
00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:47,541
Well, most people have, Ker.
THEY LAUGH
175
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:50,301
OK, look, I have to ask you -
are you a four finger or two?
176
00:06:50,301 --> 00:06:51,661
Depends on how dilated she is.
177
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,501
Oh, I meant in a Kit-Kat.
Hey-oh!
178
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:57,021
You make me laugh, Ber!
179
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:12,341
Hey, Dad.
180
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,421
Are you all right, mate?
181
00:07:33,461 --> 00:07:35,021
Yeah.
182
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:36,861
I think I might need
a tactical chunder.
183
00:07:36,861 --> 00:07:38,301
OK. Well...
184
00:07:41,581 --> 00:07:44,301
Oi, Pegs, your minicab driver's
still outside, you know.
185
00:07:44,301 --> 00:07:45,421
Shit!
186
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:46,861
I forgot.
187
00:07:46,861 --> 00:07:49,421
Call me if anything happens, yeah?
188
00:07:49,421 --> 00:07:51,221
All right, I reckon we can
leave now.
189
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,021
Oh, give over.
Come on, this is fun.
190
00:07:53,021 --> 00:07:54,341
Oh... Look at us.
191
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:57,261
We're like the three wise men when
Jesus was being born. You know?
192
00:07:57,261 --> 00:07:59,181
I'm bringing...
193
00:07:59,181 --> 00:08:01,101
...Smints.
194
00:08:01,101 --> 00:08:03,141
Here, Shannon. Yeah?
195
00:08:03,141 --> 00:08:05,421
Shall I play some tunes?
Oh, that's a great idea.
196
00:08:05,421 --> 00:08:06,701
It'll help you relax.
197
00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:08,381
OK.
198
00:08:08,381 --> 00:08:09,901
Um, how about...
199
00:08:09,901 --> 00:08:11,621
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird.
200
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:15,541
But the full 16-minute Lyve from
Steel Town, Pennsylvania version.
201
00:08:15,541 --> 00:08:18,541
OK. Well, that is drastically going
to push event timings over.
202
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:21,061
I don't care. You're just going
to have to sit through it all.
203
00:08:21,061 --> 00:08:22,941
God. Right, OK.
204
00:08:22,941 --> 00:08:24,541
What about an intro track, then?
205
00:08:25,901 --> 00:08:28,501
Perfect 10 - Beautiful South.
206
00:08:28,501 --> 00:08:29,901
For my Pegs.
207
00:08:29,901 --> 00:08:32,181
I don't know that one.
Yeah, you do.
208
00:08:32,181 --> 00:08:33,941
No, I don't. You do.
209
00:08:33,941 --> 00:08:35,621
I don't!
210
00:08:37,421 --> 00:08:38,781
Oh... Eh?
211
00:08:38,781 --> 00:08:39,821
LAURIE GROANS
212
00:08:41,101 --> 00:08:44,421
# Cos we love our love
213
00:08:44,421 --> 00:08:48,021
♪ In different sizes
214
00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:50,661
♪ I love her body
215
00:08:50,661 --> 00:08:52,421
♪ Especially the lies... ♪
216
00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:53,901
Argh!
217
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,061
You bitch!
218
00:08:55,061 --> 00:08:56,661
Oh, Nan, it hurts.
219
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:57,901
Let it pass.
220
00:08:57,901 --> 00:09:01,301
Breathe... Oh, oh, oh!
221
00:09:01,301 --> 00:09:03,181
We could play Breathe!
222
00:09:03,181 --> 00:09:05,501
By Sean Paul,
featuring Blu Cantrell.
223
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:08,021
Uh, Breathe is BY Blu Cantrell,
224
00:09:08,021 --> 00:09:09,661
feat Sean Paul.
225
00:09:09,661 --> 00:09:13,181
Please do not erase women when
I'm having our baby, Tariq.
226
00:09:13,181 --> 00:09:15,661
Fuck's sake!
227
00:09:15,661 --> 00:09:19,301
Hope There's Someone by
Antony and the Johnsons and ANOHNI
228
00:09:36,781 --> 00:09:38,741
LAURIE BREATHES HEAVILY
229
00:09:39,981 --> 00:09:41,781
You all right, lad?
230
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,341
Eh? Yeah.
231
00:09:45,061 --> 00:09:46,741
Yeah, I'm OK.
232
00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:49,261
Yeah? Yeah.
233
00:09:49,261 --> 00:09:50,701
Come here.
234
00:09:52,621 --> 00:09:56,341
The first Christmas after
my old man died,
235
00:09:56,341 --> 00:09:58,181
I was 21.
236
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,061
I got wankered down the pub.
237
00:10:00,061 --> 00:10:02,021
LAURIE LAUGHS
238
00:10:02,021 --> 00:10:05,781
I come home on Christmas Day
in a wheelbarrow.
239
00:10:05,781 --> 00:10:08,661
And at the dinner table,
I looked opposite
240
00:10:08,661 --> 00:10:11,301
and there was just this empty plate.
241
00:10:12,861 --> 00:10:14,741
And I was so angry.
242
00:10:18,061 --> 00:10:21,181
But then, as time went on,
you know...
243
00:10:21,181 --> 00:10:23,901
...grief shifts.
244
00:10:23,901 --> 00:10:27,061
I mean, it don't... it don't get any
easier, but...
245
00:10:29,821 --> 00:10:32,661
...people opposite you
start to have baby teeth.
246
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:35,661
Or false ones.
247
00:10:36,781 --> 00:10:40,861
Soon enough, you don't just see
the empty plate
248
00:10:40,861 --> 00:10:42,621
but all the full ones.
249
00:10:42,621 --> 00:10:44,221
I promise you that.
250
00:10:45,381 --> 00:10:47,021
OK?
251
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:49,261
Hey.
252
00:10:49,261 --> 00:10:50,941
I promise.
253
00:10:52,741 --> 00:10:55,901
Now, you just got to make sure your
mum don't run off with some nutter.
254
00:10:55,901 --> 00:10:57,541
Dad.
255
00:10:57,541 --> 00:10:59,821
You can't say nutter.
It's offensive.
256
00:10:59,821 --> 00:11:02,381
What, you think I give a shit?
257
00:11:02,381 --> 00:11:05,261
THEY LAUGH
258
00:11:05,261 --> 00:11:07,341
LAURIE COUGHS
259
00:11:11,141 --> 00:11:13,141
I'm so sorry about tonight.
260
00:11:13,141 --> 00:11:16,181
No, it's fine. It's just nice to
get out of the house, you know?
261
00:11:16,181 --> 00:11:18,181
I had a really nice time, though.
262
00:11:18,181 --> 00:11:19,581
Same.
263
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,861
We'll do it again, yeah?
264
00:11:22,861 --> 00:11:24,341
Yeah, I'd like that.
265
00:11:25,821 --> 00:11:26,981
Bye.
266
00:11:35,941 --> 00:11:38,381
MESSAGE SENT ALERTS
267
00:12:14,261 --> 00:12:17,261
I can't wait for you to have kids.
268
00:12:17,261 --> 00:12:19,701
They're going to be like proper
lads as well, I reckon,
269
00:12:19,701 --> 00:12:21,461
with English accents!
270
00:12:21,461 --> 00:12:23,821
And they'll all just, like,
love Jeremy Clarkson
271
00:12:23,821 --> 00:12:24,981
just to piss you off.
272
00:12:24,981 --> 00:12:26,461
Danny, will you shut up?
273
00:12:27,541 --> 00:12:29,421
All right. Sorry.
274
00:12:29,421 --> 00:12:30,941
Just trying to make convo.
275
00:12:30,941 --> 00:12:32,781
Sorry. I...
276
00:12:32,781 --> 00:12:35,541
I need some air.
277
00:12:35,541 --> 00:12:37,781
They say laughter can speed up
a labour.
278
00:12:37,781 --> 00:12:41,101
So, put your hands together
for County Dublin's
279
00:12:41,101 --> 00:12:43,821
very own Kerry McFall!
280
00:12:43,821 --> 00:12:45,541
Hello, everyone!
281
00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:47,021
Is this thing on?
282
00:12:47,021 --> 00:12:48,661
MIDWIVES LAUGH
283
00:12:48,661 --> 00:12:51,821
OK, so, what should a joke
have in common with a pregnancy?
284
00:12:51,821 --> 00:12:53,301
I don't know.
285
00:12:53,301 --> 00:12:54,981
A good delivery.
286
00:12:54,981 --> 00:12:57,021
I'm a delivery driver,
so I can really...
287
00:12:57,021 --> 00:12:58,261
Sh! Tariq!
288
00:12:58,261 --> 00:12:59,861
Kerry is performing.
289
00:12:59,861 --> 00:13:02,701
What do you call it
when you can't find someone
290
00:13:02,701 --> 00:13:05,181
to help you through your pregnancy?
291
00:13:05,181 --> 00:13:06,821
A midwife crisis!
Not you.
292
00:13:06,821 --> 00:13:08,181
Oh, God. Sorry. Just me.
293
00:13:08,181 --> 00:13:10,501
Christ, I need a fag.
294
00:13:11,861 --> 00:13:13,421
Here, let's... let's leave that.
295
00:13:13,421 --> 00:13:14,821
Oh...!
296
00:13:14,821 --> 00:13:16,741
Why is this taking so long?
297
00:13:16,741 --> 00:13:20,061
When I was a delivery boy at the
Raj Tandoori, we'd get pregnant
298
00:13:20,061 --> 00:13:22,541
white women ordering vindaloos
they couldn't handle.
299
00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:24,461
I don't eat spicy food.
300
00:13:24,461 --> 00:13:27,821
Dermatologist on This Morning
warned against it.
301
00:13:33,461 --> 00:13:35,101
Spicy pork?
302
00:13:35,101 --> 00:13:36,981
Spicy pork! Spicy pork!
303
00:13:36,981 --> 00:13:38,661
VOICES DISTORT
304
00:13:38,661 --> 00:13:40,141
Spicy pork!
305
00:13:40,141 --> 00:13:44,061
That amount of spicy pork
can't be good for a baby.
306
00:13:44,061 --> 00:13:49,341
Get me five black
Peperami Firesticks right now!
307
00:13:49,341 --> 00:13:51,061
SHANNON'S SCREAM ECHOES
308
00:14:01,261 --> 00:14:03,741
You don't have a ciggy
I could pinch, do you?
309
00:14:03,741 --> 00:14:05,941
Oh. Yes...
310
00:14:05,941 --> 00:14:07,541
Thanks.
311
00:14:15,941 --> 00:14:18,861
Uh, how is... how's Shannon getting
on?
312
00:14:18,861 --> 00:14:21,021
Dragging it out, as always.
313
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:25,941
Months I've been worried she ain't
ready to have a baby.
314
00:14:25,941 --> 00:14:28,941
And, trust me, if you ain't ready,
315
00:14:28,941 --> 00:14:32,701
then having a baby's a fucking
stupid thing to do.
316
00:14:32,701 --> 00:14:34,141
Yeah.
317
00:14:35,661 --> 00:14:39,341
Then, at the same time, you never
know if you're ready.
318
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,181
But tonight...
319
00:14:46,181 --> 00:14:47,861
...I think she is.
320
00:14:47,861 --> 00:14:49,941
I'm not fucking ready!
321
00:14:49,941 --> 00:14:52,341
Well, your baby is!
322
00:14:52,341 --> 00:14:55,581
My nan's having a fag
and Tariq's getting spicy pork!
323
00:14:55,581 --> 00:14:57,701
We're going to start pushing
now, Shannon.
324
00:14:57,701 --> 00:14:59,741
Check they aren't out there, then!
325
00:14:59,741 --> 00:15:02,301
Look, love, I...
326
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,941
I really ain't
going to be there for it.
327
00:15:04,941 --> 00:15:06,421
I know.
328
00:15:10,021 --> 00:15:12,381
I just, you know, I want to make...
329
00:15:18,821 --> 00:15:20,821
Sh...
330
00:15:20,821 --> 00:15:22,381
It's OK.
331
00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:24,821
Listen, you don't need me.
332
00:15:24,821 --> 00:15:27,381
I do.
No, you don't need me.
333
00:15:28,701 --> 00:15:30,221
Cos you're a go-getter, girl.
334
00:15:31,741 --> 00:15:33,821
So you go and get them, all right?
335
00:15:33,821 --> 00:15:35,381
You're beautiful.
336
00:15:35,381 --> 00:15:36,621
Oh...
337
00:15:38,341 --> 00:15:40,061
OK, so...
338
00:15:41,501 --> 00:15:44,141
...what would you prefer,
goujons or nuggets?
339
00:15:44,141 --> 00:15:46,701
SHE STRAINS
340
00:15:46,701 --> 00:15:47,941
Where are you going?
341
00:15:59,261 --> 00:16:01,461
Where is my nan?
342
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,261
I'm sorry, she's not here!
343
00:16:05,341 --> 00:16:07,261
Pepperami!
344
00:16:07,261 --> 00:16:08,421
Pepperami?
345
00:16:08,421 --> 00:16:11,141
Come on, baby girl!
Are you talking to me or the baby?!
346
00:16:11,141 --> 00:16:12,181
MIDWIVES LAUGH
347
00:16:14,061 --> 00:16:17,981
Ow! Fucking hell!
348
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:21,941
Excuse me, mister.
What's your spiciest Peperami?
349
00:16:24,421 --> 00:16:27,661
For so long, I was gutted that
my dad died here
350
00:16:27,661 --> 00:16:29,461
on the side of an A-road,
351
00:16:29,461 --> 00:16:32,461
like a pheasant or something.
352
00:16:32,461 --> 00:16:34,421
That he never got back home.
353
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:37,541
You OK, love?
354
00:16:40,261 --> 00:16:43,781
I'm still sad we
weren't here the night he went.
355
00:16:44,821 --> 00:16:45,901
I know.
356
00:16:47,021 --> 00:16:48,141
But Nan was.
357
00:16:49,381 --> 00:16:50,501
Here.
358
00:16:55,221 --> 00:16:59,301
When you have kids, your
worst nightmare is to lose them.
359
00:17:01,261 --> 00:17:04,901
And that night, she
needed to cuddle her little boy.
360
00:17:06,141 --> 00:17:08,781
And even when she's
being a right mare, your nan,
361
00:17:08,781 --> 00:17:10,661
I never begrudge her that.
362
00:17:12,181 --> 00:17:16,141
So it's quite right, really,
that she's with Shan
363
00:17:16,141 --> 00:17:18,021
and I've got you.
364
00:17:19,341 --> 00:17:20,821
I think this will be good.
365
00:17:20,821 --> 00:17:23,661
You know, like a new chapter.
366
00:17:26,981 --> 00:17:29,861
Although, my babe,
I do have something to tell you.
367
00:17:30,981 --> 00:17:32,821
Is it the minicab driver?
368
00:17:32,821 --> 00:17:33,861
What?
369
00:17:33,861 --> 00:17:36,221
Mum, we share an iCal.
370
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,741
What's a fucking iCal?
371
00:17:37,741 --> 00:17:40,381
When me and Shannon got
you an iPhone for Christmas,
372
00:17:40,381 --> 00:17:43,541
she synced up all our phones
so I can see when her scans were
373
00:17:43,541 --> 00:17:48,101
and I saw a hot date with Russell
in our shared calendar.
374
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,261
I hate having a smartphone.
375
00:17:51,301 --> 00:17:54,141
I feel like a
fucking phone hacking victim.
376
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:56,381
Mum, I'm happy if you're happy.
377
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:59,701
As long as he's not a nonce.
378
00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:02,461
Oh, I hope not. Yeah.
379
00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:04,781
He is a minicab driver.
You never know.
380
00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:06,581
PHONE BUZZES
381
00:18:09,341 --> 00:18:11,461
Shan's having the baby.
Oh, my gosh.
382
00:18:11,461 --> 00:18:12,661
Oh, my God!
383
00:18:23,821 --> 00:18:26,301
You just go to sleep, my love.
384
00:18:31,781 --> 00:18:32,781
Go to sleep.
385
00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:35,941
♪ In the dream
386
00:18:35,941 --> 00:18:38,821
♪ I am carried
387
00:18:38,821 --> 00:18:44,501
♪ By sun rays through the dark
388
00:18:44,501 --> 00:18:48,461
♪ Humble as a hope
389
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:52,421
♪ I bow to thee. ♪
390
00:19:43,861 --> 00:19:45,621
Has the baby come out yet?
391
00:19:45,621 --> 00:19:48,741
Uh, yeah. You came out to your mum
last year, didn't you? Oh.
392
00:19:51,901 --> 00:19:54,741
VOICE-OVER: And after I start
worrying all year
393
00:19:54,741 --> 00:19:56,301
about looking after you,
394
00:19:56,301 --> 00:20:00,381
it was you that night who'd
been looking after all of us.
395
00:20:00,381 --> 00:20:03,341
MOANING, BANGS
396
00:20:03,341 --> 00:20:04,861
He is horrendous.
397
00:20:08,061 --> 00:20:09,661
Come on.
398
00:20:14,181 --> 00:20:15,701
Peperami!
399
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:22,781
Oh, my God.
400
00:20:27,061 --> 00:20:28,461
There you go.
401
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:29,981
Ooh!
402
00:20:35,261 --> 00:20:37,421
I love you, kid.
403
00:20:37,421 --> 00:20:39,221
I love you, Nanny Bingo.
404
00:20:40,621 --> 00:20:41,981
Shan!
405
00:20:41,981 --> 00:20:43,541
You did it!
406
00:20:43,541 --> 00:20:44,741
Thanks, Danny.
407
00:20:45,901 --> 00:20:47,501
I've just had a baby.
408
00:20:47,501 --> 00:20:49,901
Yeah. I know, I was there.
409
00:20:49,901 --> 00:20:52,261
With my ASOS delivery man.
410
00:20:53,301 --> 00:20:55,941
Now I've got all my family
around me.
411
00:20:57,621 --> 00:21:00,421
Do you want to hold, Corinne,
after Tariq?
412
00:21:00,421 --> 00:21:02,021
Might be you one day.
413
00:21:02,021 --> 00:21:03,261
I'm cool.
414
00:21:04,621 --> 00:21:06,741
Yeah. No, I'm good.
415
00:21:06,741 --> 00:21:09,901
Um, right, I'm going
to leave you guys to it.
416
00:21:17,221 --> 00:21:19,501
Corinne, will you just tell me
if something's up?
417
00:21:19,501 --> 00:21:21,101
You've been weird all night.
418
00:21:21,101 --> 00:21:22,421
I just, um...
419
00:21:24,581 --> 00:21:26,301
I don't, uh...
420
00:21:26,301 --> 00:21:27,661
What? Like...
421
00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:35,141
I just... Danny, I find all
of this just a little bit... sad.
422
00:21:36,221 --> 00:21:40,381
You know, and it just reminds me
that I, um...
423
00:21:43,181 --> 00:21:44,501
My, um...
424
00:21:48,301 --> 00:21:49,301
My, um...
425
00:21:50,701 --> 00:21:53,341
My birth mum didn't want me.
426
00:21:53,341 --> 00:21:55,301
And that is fine...
427
00:21:55,301 --> 00:21:58,221
I had... Like, I had no idea.
No, it's fine.
428
00:21:58,221 --> 00:22:00,781
It is fine because, you know,
it was her right
429
00:22:00,781 --> 00:22:02,181
and it was her choice
430
00:22:02,181 --> 00:22:04,341
and I completely respect that.
431
00:22:05,501 --> 00:22:09,421
But, you know, my, um,
my birth doesn't have a story.
432
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:11,861
And, um...
433
00:22:13,141 --> 00:22:16,181
If I think about her too much
434
00:22:16,181 --> 00:22:18,701
and, like, what
it was like to give me up...
435
00:22:21,461 --> 00:22:24,621
...then I just feel a little bit
on my own.
436
00:22:24,621 --> 00:22:28,861
Oh, mate, OK, listen.
437
00:22:31,821 --> 00:22:37,581
So I've learned this year
that family,
438
00:22:37,581 --> 00:22:40,381
like, it eventually just becomes
the people that you choose
439
00:22:40,381 --> 00:22:42,581
and who choose you back.
That's it.
440
00:22:42,581 --> 00:22:43,741
Yeah.
441
00:22:43,741 --> 00:22:48,821
And, like, Jack and Yemi
and even Peggy,
442
00:22:48,821 --> 00:22:50,821
like, they've become mine.
443
00:22:53,661 --> 00:22:57,581
Well, I will always choose you,
Danny King.
444
00:22:57,581 --> 00:23:00,421
And I'll always choose you,
soppy girl.
445
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,101
Mmm, salty!
446
00:23:14,901 --> 00:23:16,741
So, Shan, any names?
447
00:23:16,741 --> 00:23:22,381
Well, if the baby had been a boy,
I was going to call him Lawrence.
448
00:23:22,381 --> 00:23:24,661
However, she my little baby girl.
449
00:23:24,661 --> 00:23:26,421
Yes, you are!
450
00:23:26,421 --> 00:23:28,541
So instead, right,
451
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:31,621
I'm going to call her Lawrensienna.
452
00:23:31,621 --> 00:23:34,701
So it's kind of got Lawrence
in it, type thing.
453
00:23:34,701 --> 00:23:36,701
Tariq, what's your surname?
454
00:23:36,701 --> 00:23:37,741
Milla.
455
00:23:38,861 --> 00:23:40,581
Ooh.
456
00:23:40,581 --> 00:23:43,261
Lawrensienna Milla.
457
00:23:43,261 --> 00:23:47,061
Lawrensienna Milla Papadopoulou,
thank you, Peggy.
458
00:23:47,061 --> 00:23:49,101
I gave birth to her.
459
00:23:49,101 --> 00:23:50,861
This baby is going to be bullied.
460
00:23:54,661 --> 00:23:59,821
And it was in this room that, for
the first time since my dad died,
461
00:23:59,821 --> 00:24:02,621
everything just felt right.
462
00:24:02,621 --> 00:24:05,541
Like everyone
belonged with each other.
463
00:24:05,541 --> 00:24:08,821
And, yeah, the whole room stank
of shit because the baby actually
464
00:24:08,821 --> 00:24:10,781
came out on a
wave of Shannon's turds,
465
00:24:10,781 --> 00:24:15,221
but in this very moment, it felt
like the joy of loving someone new
466
00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:18,781
felt bigger than
the pain of missing someone gone.
467
00:24:20,741 --> 00:24:23,261
Seasons
By Future Islands
468
00:24:34,141 --> 00:24:36,261
♪ Seasons change
469
00:24:37,701 --> 00:24:40,581
♪ And I've tried
hard just to soften you
470
00:24:47,341 --> 00:24:49,821
♪ Well, seasons change
471
00:24:51,021 --> 00:24:54,301
♪ But I've grown tired trying
to change for you
472
00:24:58,381 --> 00:25:01,221
♪ Cos I've been waiting on you
473
00:25:04,621 --> 00:25:06,501
♪ I've been waiting on you... ♪
474
00:25:06,501 --> 00:25:08,021
Let's go home.
475
00:25:09,141 --> 00:25:10,621
Let's go home.
476
00:25:11,741 --> 00:25:13,221
♪ Cos I've been waiting on you
477
00:25:16,821 --> 00:25:21,501
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
I've been waiting on you
478
00:25:29,941 --> 00:25:32,781
♪ As it breaks
479
00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,781
♪ The summer will wake... ♪
480
00:25:34,781 --> 00:25:37,821
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