Original subtitles

CARNEY: This is a story about a chicken,

and chickens start out as eggs.

So, in a land far away,

some eggs were prisoners in a giant's kitchen.

EGG 1: Somebody, help us!

EGG 2: Help! EGG 3: Help us!

(THUMPING FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(ROARS)

No!

(GROANS)

Run for it!

(GURGLING) That burns!

CARNEY: The giant's fierce hunger demanded bacon and eggs.

Get up, dude! Let's go, man!

We got an egg down. I repeat, egg down!

(SCREAMS)

CARNEY: And then, a miracle.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(WIND WHOOSHING)

It was Rolo the Super Revenger! (LAUGHS)

Lady, this is a yolko no-no!

Hey! Help! (GASPS)

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(EXHALES)

(ALL GROANING)

(CHUCKLES)

ROLO: This buffet is closed due to numerous health infractions.

Yeah. Egg-a-dee-doo-dah.

Rolo rescued Willy and Bacon,

and they became the best of friends.

And together, they became known as The Breakfast Bandidos.

Promising to crack down on crime and protect eggs by the dozen,

even carnival eggs like me.

Holy Confetti, I implore you watch over this handsome little egg,

who's about to get popped. BOY: One, two,

three! (SCREAMS)

Gotcha! (FARTS)

And I might've pooped a little.

I'm afraid of heights, you know.

(ALL EXCLAIMS)

And they also rescued Bibi.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

CARNEY: She's an awesome acrobat. It was her dream.

But one time, the juggler goofed up, and she went tumbling down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

(GASPS)

Oh, no!

(SCREAMS)

Huh?

(SHOUTS)

(CHUCKLES) Oh.

Now, if you can sing like Barry White, we might have something.

All for you, baby.

CARNEY: And that's how we all became The Breakfast Bunch.

ALL: All for eggs, and eggs for all!

Come on, eggs, scramble!

But our yarn don't end there, no.

We journeyed to this farm to witness a miracle.

And something came over Rolo. Something big.

(GRUNTING)

(ROARS)

Oh. (SHUDDERS)

That's a movie with Egg Norton.

Right. My bad. More like...

Not true. Okay, okay. The truth.

(GRUNTING)

BOTH: Carney!

Oh, simmer down, now.

Rolo became a mighty, meaty chicken, like, so...

(VOCALIZING)

Rolo's really strong and brave.

(SIGHS) Oh, I remember that day.

It was so beautiful and special since day one.

Yeah, but he ain't just any old chicken. Now, he's...

(SINGS FANFARE) (ALL LAUGHING)

A rooster.

Cool. Oh, wow!

Check it out.

(FOOTSTEPS THUMPING) EGG: He's coming!

Oh, wow!

BOY EGG: He is big.

Hey, guys.

Lookie, lookie. Check out the gun show.

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

(ALL EXCLAIMS)

(CHUCKLES)

Carney.

Oh, yeah! Picture his wings of gold,

strutting like a Bel-air peacock down Sunnyside Strip.

Stop.

His crow can be heard for miles.

Maybe he'll go on The Voice.

Please, Mr. Rolo,

can you sing some Bob Marley now?

Well, I don't know, I'm a little parched. You know,

? Three little birds on my doorstep ?

You know it?

BOY EGG: Let's play monsters.

Roar! (VOCALIZING)

Roar! (SHOUTS)

Help! (GIGGLES)

All right, all right, kids. Come on, time to hit the hay.

Oh, please, five more minutes?

I love him, he was gonna sing my favorite song.

Some other time, okay?

You've had a big day.

I don't want to go to bed.

Come on, honey.

I'll see you tomorrow, Super Revenger.

Night-night, Rolo. I love you.

(KISSES)

See you tomorrow, sweetie. Good night, Mom.

"Super Revenger"?

Would you rather "The Eggualizer"?

No.

"The Chicken Tetrascreamy?"

No.

(GRUNTS) "The Chicken Choker." None of them.

Jeez, you're uptight. You swallow a feather? It's only kids' stories.

Okay, wait a minute. Why am I riding around on a broom?

How am I supposed to live up to these stories?

I'm the furthest thing from a superhero.

When that day comes, I'll say what's super about you.

(ALL GASP)

I think that chicken's revving in the slow lane.

Huh? Girl's trippin'.

She wants someone to pick a peck of pickled peppers with.

What are you talking about?

Uh, that you have a girlfriend. Whoo! Baby!

Oh, no. No way. Dee...

Forget her. You need to focus on getting out of here.

Not on impressing the ladies.

You yolk digger!

No, no. No. WILLY: But maybe...

Just go talk to her. Tell her you like her, too.

She's cute. Just go check her out.

I think I'll just stay here.

This is your shot! Go! (BACON SQUEAKS)

What do you have to lose? Go for it!

Get off me, Bacon.

He falls in love, goodbye, Hollywood.

(SIGHING)

Uh... (SIGHS)

Hi, Dee. Later.

Rolo! What a surprise. I wasn't expecting you.

Come sit with me.

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

Oh, babe, it smells like love in the air. (SNIFFS)

I smell some kind of beans. Just had a chimichanga. Ew.

Oh, you! But I think Rolo's totally sprung on her.

Oh, disgusting. I hate when they peck each other.

Well, that's how roosters and chickens kiss, I guess.

Pretty gross. Ew. It's not adorable like you and me.

(SLURPING)

Mmm.

(GIGGLES)

So, uh, your feathers, are they natural, or do you dye them?

(GIGGLES) (FROG CROAKS)

I'm all natural.

What I, uh, want to say is that I want to just tell you that I...

Well...

(CROAKS)

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Everyone's a critic. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

God, I hate frogs.

What were you saying?

Well, that you, uh...

(CROAKS) That you...

That you... That you... That... That you...

(CONTINUES CROAKING)

That you... That you... That you... That you...

That you... That you... That you... That you...

(CROAKS LOUDLY)

Seriously! What is your problem?

Why don't you just go Frogger across the street?

Okay, tough guy, don't get your feathers ruffled.

Why don't we go for a walk instead?

It's just that I want that toad to go away! (CROAKS)

(GRUNTS) Hey, stop.

(EXHALES DEEPLY) Feeling better?

Yeah, yeah, I am.

I just want to pull off his legs and just see

if they taste like chicken, you know?

(CROAKS)

(GRUNTS) (GIGGLES)

So what is it? What did you want to tell me?

Right. Starting over.

Well, I think you and me should...

DON ALFONSO: Good evening, kids.

(SIGHS) I can't catch a break.

Hi, Dad. Hi, sweetie.

How are you, Don Alfonso?

Ready for tomorrow, Rolo?

Meh. I guess. Kind of, sorta.

What do you mean "meh?" No, no, no.

Tomorrow, you start playing a vital role in the community.

The morning cockadoodle, you'll be one step closer to roosterhood.

It's easy for you to say.

You were a boxer, and you're not afraid of anything.

Uh... Not always. Rooster boxing can be very dangerous.

Boxing! The big match is about to begin! (GASPS)

Got to run!

See you later, Rolo! Mmm.

(SIGHS) I don't know about that boy. He confuses me.

He's got the potential, but I think his brain's a little scrambled.

Isn't he such a dream, Dad?

Yes, that's right.

He's a what?

GRANDMA: Hugo!

HUGO: Just a sec, Grandma.

GRANDMA: You haven't finished your cereal!

Oh, come on, Grandma, no time to eat.

GRANDMA: What?

You went outside in bare feet?

Time for the boxing match.

GRANDMA: Eh? You found my secret batch?

HUGO: Oh, Grandma.

Here, chicky-chicky. You're so cute, sit here.

Oh, no.

Oh.

I'm not strong enough without you, Grandpa.

I'm not.

I tried my best, but it's so hard.

(CHANGING STATIONS)

MAN: (ON RADIO) And we're off.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the main event.

Our green ribbon challenger, Manny Cluckiao.

And our champion, bearer of the red ribbon,

the fiercest fighter I've ever seen, Talons of Thunder!

And, ooh, we're barely starting out, but look at that speed.

One, two, three!

And Cluckiao hits the mat. REFEREE: Five, four.

Three. ANNOUNCER: The ref is counting down.

Talons of Thunder is confident, but wait...

What's this? This is not over.

It looks like Cluckiao is getting back to his feet.

Just stay down, kid.

This rooster is resilient.

(CROWD CHEERING)

And we thought he was down for the count.

Man, does Talons of Thunder look angry.

Come on, Manny!

Tear him apart, Talons of Thunder.

Come on! ANNOUNCER: Crowd's getting rowdy.

Please, Talons of Thunder. They're gonna take him away.

ANNOUNCER: And this little guy's just not giving up.

Oh, no. (LAUGHS)

Come on.

ANNOUNCER: And, here they come.

(GRUNTING)

Couple jabs from Talons of Thunder. One jab, two jab.

And Cluckiao comes out with a hit.

Talons of Thunder charges once more.

Look at the height he reaches!

He's gonna do it.

Man, oh, man! Talons of Thunder pulls out his famous boulder crush

and Cluckiao is down for the count.

And the winner is, Talons of Thunder, the rooster!

Owned by Billy Bob Thornton.

Aka, Shady Slim.

MAN: Talons of Thunder.

Yeah, come on!

Come on, buddy. You okay?

(CHUCKLES)

Your farm is all mine, Billy Joe, got it?

Oh, please reconsider, Slim, I'm begging you.

A wager is a wager.

You know I didn't even wanna bet!

You have two days to get out.

But, now, where am I supposed to live?

I don't know, but you ain't taking no chickens with ya!

(LAUGHS)

Now, get out of my sight! (GROANS)

You bully!

(LAUGHING)

(COUGHS)

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

CARNEY: Ahhh! (ROLO BREATHING HEAVILY)

Rolo, where's the fire? The paper just got here.

So, what?

Check it out.

No way! That savage won again? Ugh.

Can you imagine what it would be like to be a rooster boxer?

What, to get paid to run around in shorts and hit people?

(GRUNTS) Ha!

No, doesn't really scream "Willy."

A right hook, and, ooh...

Looks like Talons of Thunder is down!

The crowd goes wild! He's not getting up.

And, our new champ is Rolo!

Oh, yeah! Ooh, baby.

Uh-huh.

Check me out, check me out. Ooh, yeah, baby. Uh, uh, whoo!

The Rooster Revenger! Yeah.

Rooster Revenger, huh? I think you owe Carney some royalties.

Well, maybe... (GASPS) "Rolo Dynamite."

Or, "The Barnyard Basher."

Or, "He who wakes up the farm folk?"

I don't know, it sounds like an old lady's name.

It's not really intimidating.

You ready to go? (GROANS)

No, I don't want to be nobody's alarm clock.

I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna!

Oh, come on, come on, day's a wasting.

No! I'm not moving!

And you can't make me.

This is a technique I learned listening to yoga on the radio.

I just... I root myself, and nothing can move me.

(SIGHS)

Very impressive.

DON ALFONSO: Good morning, Muppet.

Morning. Break a leg, Rolo.

(GRUNTS)

Ready?

(PANTING)

Is he going to crow?

Something like that.

I'm excited. His first day as a rooster.

My baby, it's his official debut.

The world is waiting, Rolo. (EXHALES DEEPLY)

Show 'em what you're made of.

Uh-oh. I've got the vertigo.

You'll be fine. It's bad.

Stand up straight, take a deep breath. Hard times.

Shoot your wings back wide and crow!

No fear.

I'm proud of you, son.

Oh, Mom.

You're fine, ground yourself.

Here goes nothing.

Cock-a-doodle-doo! (GROANS)

(GROANS)

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

(SINGS OPERA)

...a-doodle-doo!

What a beautiful song, just like the movies.

Oh, no! Make it stop! ROLO: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

There's yolk coming out of my ears.

Uh... Let's try it again. But not like a cat caught in a fence.

Don't hold it in. Let it out! Be proud!

From the gut!

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Oh, it's so painful. ROLO: Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Can I just go deaf now?

Ah! Sounds like forks in a blender.

Holy mackerel! That bird's possessed!

ROLO: Cock-a-doodle-doo! Be gone, unclean spirits!

I cast you out!

It's okay, it's okay.

No need to panic. Cock-a-doodle-doo!

I think the worst is over.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

Oh! Why? What's wrong with that guy?

Oh, man.

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

(GROANS) Make it stop. Kill me, please.

(WHINES)

(CROAKS)

ROLO: Cock-a-doodle-doo! (GROANING)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

ROLO: Cock-a-doodle-doo! Shut up, I can't sleep.

Cock-a-doo... HUGO: Oh!

(YAWNS)

(FEEDBACK WHINES)

ROLO: ...doodle-do! (SCREAMS)

Cock-a-doodle-doo! Oh, no, no. Just stop, stop.

I'm begging you. (MUFFLED GRUNTS)

No more! What?

Hey, look, I woke everyone up.

Yeah, everyone, five miles in every direction.

Quiet. Huh?

It's okay, Bacon, I know. I know, I know.

Oh, man, I feel like my expiration date just got moved up.

A voice like butter, and so handsome.

(HAMMERING)

Huh? What?

I'm sorry. There's no money to keep it, Hugo.

HUGO: Oh, Grandma.

What are we gonna do?

Calm down, calm down, everybody.

Let's not lose our heads just yet.

But the question is, who leaves first? The chickens, or the eggs?

Nobody's going anywhere.

I don't know about you, Super Revenger,

but I'm not going back to no kitchen, that's for sure.

Okay, let's focus.

What matters here is, how we can save the farm from going under.

We have to do something.

This has been our home for a long time, and we should fight for it.

We're eggs, chickens and bacon.

How are we supposed to make that much money?

I don't know.

Well?

I think I just might know how to find the money.

Maybe we sell Rolo's voicebox on Eggslist?

We place a bet at the arena.

But, Don Alfonso, I thought you retired from fighting.

Are you sure, Dad? You haven't fought in such a long time.

And that's an awful lot of eggs put in one basket.

Well, if anyone has a better idea?

(ALL STAMMERING)

So, what do you say? Who's with me?

I'm with you. I say, once a champ, always a champ.

Count me in. Yeah, me, too.

Me, three. I mean, me, too.

Okay, Dad. I believe in you.

Count me in. I'm there.

Me, too.

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way,

how do we place this bet?

We have to go to town. I know a few eggs that can lend a hand.

Oh. Go to town?

Go to town. I don't know.

Oh! Go to town. Go! Go to town.

It's only, like, 20 miles!

Uh... Mailman.

Oh, oh, oh. Be cool, be cool.

I said "mailman", not "bail man."

Oh, right, yeah.

Of course, the mailman.

Tell me you're not thinking of somehow distracting him,

and somehow stealing his motorcycle,

and all of us climbing on to it and somehow riding into town?

Like... (VOCALIZING)

(BARKING) Down, boy! Down! Easy! Watch it!

Get, get!

(CHUCKLES)

(EXCLAIMS)

Hey, did you... Did you see that?

Yeah, they left without paying.

(VOCALIZING)

Yo, Gray.

What's going on, Red?

I've got the munchies, dude.

I hear ya. Likewise, dude.

Craving some chicken nuggets, man.

But we're in BFA. No chicken nuggets here,

you see, we've got nothing here...

(BOTH GRUNT)

See that! Chicken nuggets. Whoa, yeah! (LAUGHS)

Let's go get some then, dude.

? Chicken and waffles ? Chicken and waffles

? And bacon and eggs ? And bacon and eggs

? Make me so happy ? Make me so happy

? Eating chicken legs ? Eating chicken legs ?

(VOCALIZING) (BOTH GRUNT)

Gray. Let's go, dude.

You think we just imagined those nuggets 'cause we're so hungry?

Were they riding a motorcycle in your dream?

Yeah, I think so. Then, no.

You're so cool! I am.

You're so cool! I know.

Yeah.

Where to, Don Alfonso? There.

(GASPS)

So, that's the arena.

Wow.

That's where you fought?

It's been a while.

Now, wait just a minute, Eggstein.

You realize there are giants there

and I'm an egg full of confetti?

That combo ends with someone chucking me at a wall.

Don't worry. No one is going to even see you.

Yeah, I don't know about you, but I haven't been practicing my invisibility.

Like, "Where's Carney? See him? Peek-a-boo.

"There he is. See him? Nope."

The arena has an underworld for all birds

and eggs that giants are not aware of.

Well, slap my butt and call me "Spanky."

Yeah, yeah! (LAUGHS)

(SINGING INDISTINCTLY)

Yeah!

I owe you!

I know you. Let me see...

What?

You made me lose lots of money. Excuse me.

Sorry about that. That's life.

I had to take an office job at Butterball. That is sick!

There must be some kind of misunderstanding.

Oh, it's like that, huh?

Are you afraid to tell your groupies the truth, huh?

Are you scared? Coward!

You're all the same! Please, Mister. Calm down.

Nobody's talking to you.

(GASPS)

Hey! I said I was sorry. Turkey.

Now, get out of here.

Hey, I was just leaving, anyway.

Hey! Hey, I know you. You owe me money!

What's going on? Everybody out. Come on. Let's go. Move!

We wanna see the Eggfather.

Whoa, whoa!

Why's this guy snapping at me?

Nobody sees the Eggfather just because.

Tell him I'm Rowdy the Rooster.

(CHUCKLES) This guy, right?

That was my rooster boxing name.

Very well. Wait here.

We might be waiting a while. Stay close, blend in.

And most of all, don't go looking for trouble.

Lot of bad eggs in here.

That was me. Taco Tuesday.

(EXHALES DEEPLY) Wow.

Hey, Rolo.

We haven't had time to finish our conversation.

One day, I'm gonna be a great rooster boxer, too.

It's just... It's hard for me to see

someone I care about getting into a fight.

That you care about? (STAMMERS) I...

(CROWD CHEERING) (GASPS)

ROLO: A fight.

Ugh.

Wow.

(CHUCKLES)

ANNOUNCER: The emotions we are experiencing here today are unparalleled.

(GROANING)

Look at the technique. The elasticity!

This is a unique match, I must say.

No!

ANNOUNCER: The sumo chicken isn't even using his wings.

(ALL CHEERING)

And he shakes it off.

Wow.

Look at the rooster. Look at him, look at him!

He's using an ancient Chinese chicken technique.

It's called "Krav Kaka."

You wouldn't be afraid in there?

Well, yeah. Maybe at first, probably.

DON ALFONSO: The fear never goes away.

When you're in there, you feel it in your crest.

But it's then that you realize what you're really made of.

Fine feathers make fine birds.

Oh, hey.

Follow me, right this way. The Eggfather has agreed to see you.

EGGFATHER: Beautiful day.

Good boy.

Wow.

EGGFATHER: Nice of you to join me on this fine day.

My rotten yolk wonders,

why shouldn't I roast this back-stabbing rooster?

(FLIES BUZZING) I know we have scores to settle,

but I bring some business that might smooth out any wrinkles.

What can you offer that I don't already have?

I want to wager the farm I live on, on a fight.

Real money.

And why would you want to bet the farm, huh?

Because it's bankrupt. But it's worth plenty. It's very large.

Hmm.

(GASPS)

Manfred, cashmere!

Coming, coming, coming!

Oh! Ew, they smudged you? Gross.

Neanderthals. Here, let me fix it. Basic.

Dummy, do not stress me out like that 'cause I'm gonna crack.

Sorry about that. Had a little business. So, you wanna fight again?

Yes.

And how do I know you won't chicken out

and cut and run like last time?

(CHUCKLING) (SIGHS)

Do you mind?

Set up the bet.

Simply write a letter as if it came

from the owner of our farm. Please.

My father is a brave cock and he knows what he's doing.

Ooh. Who are you, chickadee?

Dee. As in, chickadee?

Without the "chicka". But you're a chicken.

Eggfather, the name is Dee. Huh?

No, my name is Sheldon, but don't tell anyone 'cause they tease me.

No, not your name, her name. She's Dee, you see? Mmm-hmm.

(LAUGHS)

Complicated, just like her father.

Your daddy must've told you

about his final fight, now didn't he? Did he, chickadee?

Just Dee. Wait, what?

That's not my name. Whatever.

Just tell your old man to tell you about it.

Hey, I'm confused. Who is Dee?

I think the bacon.

(SIGHS) You finished?

Sir, I understand you have a great deal

of power and influence here, even over the giants.

This conversation is boring.

There's nothing in it for me. You know what to do with them.

Hey! Wait! I know Yolk Hogan!

He'll crack you up! Seriously?

Buzz off, buzzard.

Eggfather, before you send us to the broiler, hear me out.

A word in private, please. For old time's sake.

Hmm.

Why not.

Learn some manners, bunch of brutes!

Are you okay? Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Good evening, roosters, hams, eggs and omelets!

Do you wanna see some chicken legs tonight?

Yeah! Well, then,

let me introduce a real tweet-treat for ya!

She's the most beautiful, the most magnetic,

the most diva-licious doll in the club!

Sweet Pea! (CROWD CHEERS)

? Chickens and turkeys and vultures All wanna touch me

(GASPS)

? None of them Not one of them is worthy, you see?

? When they find it is easy to say look at me

? Or just sadly too shell-shocked 'Tis clear as can be

? You see my crown and feathers And beautiful wings

? And I... ? Bow-chicka-wow-wow. Whoo-hoo!

What?

Yeah, come on.

? And I cannot change

? Can't be blamed for the way they fall permanently ?

Ugh. She's, like, so fake. Nothing but injections. What do you even see in her?

? It's my tail and my feathers And my beautiful wings

? And you know it's all too good for you

? I got, I got, I got What you want... ?

Hello, chica,you want to dance? Come on, huh?

I don't think so.

Oh, I think I'm in love.

I'll wait here for you.

? ...look at me 'Cause I've got, I've got all you need

? You want me so bad You'll give up your feed ?

You know it, boys. (CROWD CHEERING)

(WHOOPING)

Hot stuff! Whoo-hoo!

(SHOUTS) Ooh, baby!

Everything copacetic?

Fine. Why do you ask?

Mmm-mmm.

Hi. Can I get your autograph, too?

Thank you so much.

And what's the name? Yes, Johnny. Thank you.

Of course. Yes, yes, yes.

Thank you for coming. Hi, there.

Hello, handsome.

Do you want an autograph, too? What?

You are the most beautiful bird I've ever seen.

I mean, you're a chicken, but you have nice sweet peas.

(GASPS)

No, no, I mean, you, Sweet Pea, are chicken me.

Aren't you just a pocketful of charm.

You're such a cutie. Are you perhaps a fighter in training?

Uh... I am. Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Of course, you are. Yeah.

A strong man like you?

Ooh, I can tell.

Oh. Well, you know, I don't like to brag.

(GRUNTS)

No, no, no!

(GRUNTING)

Look, here comes the champ!

Can I get your autograph, champ?

Of course, of course.

Sure, sure. Right here.

Who do I make it out to? To Johnny.

My pleasure. Thanks.

Hey, baby.

Hey, handsome. Yeah.

What's with this guy? What's he got, the bird flu?

(GIGGLES) Isn't he adorable? He's a fan.

CHICKEN: He says he's a fighter!

(ALL LAUGHING)

So, you're a rooster boxer, huh? What class? Feather weight?

Hey, come on, feather weight?

Ah! Hey!

(LAUGHS)

Leave him be, Talons of Thunder!

Dad, are you all right?

Yeah, yeah.

Wow. Ah!

The dead have risen! Don Alfonso!

Long time no see.

We don't want trouble.

I was only asking for an autograph, that's it.

But it's not like she even likes it.

Ugh. She's so jealous.

He's nothing but a spring chicken.

Look at him. You're just picking a fight.

EGGFATHER: Enough!

I've been considering Don Alfonso's offer to fight in the tournament.

And I think I'm gonna take it.

Thank you, Eggfather.

Under certain conditions, that is.

Go ahead.

One. We have a big event coming up in two weeks.

It'll be the main event.

The Omelet Crackdown.

That's very little time to train.

Two.

The fight will be against Talons of Thunder. Hmm.

(ALL EXCLAIM)

No, Dad. You can't do that. Hmm?

We need a good matchup

to draw in high rollers to obtain the money we need.

Agreed.

And the last requirement. You are not fighting.

He is.

Huh? Huh?

But he's not a trained fighter.

Oh, I thought you were.

He doesn't have the experience, or the age,

or the weight. Or the...

(CROAKS)

Those are my terms. Non-negotiable.

(LAUGHS) Mmm.

(COUGHING) Yellow.

(COUGHING) Chicken.

(SIGHING) So then, no deal.

Suit yourself.

Waste of time. Made me miss my program.

Cheer up, chicky. (CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

I'll do it. I'll fight.

(GASPS)

You don't have to do this.

Yes, I do.

I have to do it for me, for you, for all my friends,

and for our home.

Are you sure?

You said that fine feathers make fine birds, right?

We'll take that bet!

ALL: Yeah!

Good!

Everything is settled then, more or less.

Take it to Shady Slim.

(LAUGHS)

This is gonna be a joke.

See you in the arena.

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

Oh, yeah. "See you in the arena. My stink don't smell."

Okay, see you there, buddy.

Ugh. You're on.

Okay.

You really stepped up, friend.

That was amaze.

Pleasure knowing you, pal.

So, you wanna be roasted or maybe chicken fried? (GROANS)

Carney, dude. Carney.

"Dear Mr. Shady Slim,

"I own Chunky Chicken Farms

"and I want to bet my property

"against your rooster, Talons of Thunder."

(LAUGHS)

I didn't even need to scout out this one.

Let's see where this Chunky farm is.

There we go. Hmm.

If we re-route the highway this way,

it's a perfect spot for a gas station!

I'll take that bet!

(GRUNTS)

(MOTORBIKE RUNNING)

(GROANING)

Dad, he's coming to.

Okay, I'll pull over up ahead.

Hey, Red. I think we're almost there, Red. (PANTING)

It's this way, Red.

Sure hope so, 'cause I'm feening bad, dude.

(MOTORBIKE APPROACHING) (SCREAMS)

That's the chicken nuggets, dude?

Don't know. You got a real nice tail, though.

Hey, my eyes are in my face, buster.

It's just, you dropped it.

Hey, my tail!

Oh, no, it was so nice, too, like a Kardashian tail.

You let your tail do your thinking?

Explains why your luck's so bad.

No, dimwit! It helps guide me. Ow!

Without my tail, my sense of direction is gonna be all screwy.

Let's see, run thataway? No.

Okay, that way. Oh, that's so sad.

ROLO: (SIGHS) Thank goodness.

I had a horrible dream.

I was supposed to fight Talons of Thunder to save the farm

and it was really scary.

(CLEARS THROAT)

It was a dream, right?

No, brother. You've got two weeks.

We're almost there, but we'll have to leave the mailman's bike.

No, man. I told you. I don't do cops.

Again, he said "mailman." Yeah, I knew that.

Don Alfonso, do you really think I can beat Talons of Thunder?

Mmm-mmm.

Well, but, you can train me, can't you?

Not in two weeks.

That's why we're here.

ROLO: In the woods?

Hey, if you really want to engage with nature,

I can get us some awesome herbs.

Don Alfonso, what really happened with you and the Eggfather?

Don Alfonso, now it's Rolo risking his beak.

If you want us here on your side,

you should tell us what we're doing here.

Very well.

I was a great fighter.

Undisputed, undefeated

But one day, I was faced with the most unusual opponent.

He was very limber.

His style was different, impossible.

I threw my most powerful blows and they would barely tickle him.

I was overcome with fear.

I ran all over that ring,

while that rooster chased me making these strange sounds. (VOCALIZING)

The Eggfather lost plenty of money because of me.

But that wasn't the worst.

My rival was not a rooster.

He was a duck!

(ALL LAUGHING)

I became a laughing stock.

The rooster who ducked.

I vanished for good.

Because you lost the fight?

Because I ran, it was an immediate disqualification.

The important thing is, today, you came back and you faced your past.

So, we're looking for the duck who beat you to train me?

He has techniques that are only known to ducks.

But they might surprise Talons of Thunder.

Well, he sounds extra special.

So, let's get quacking and find ourselves that duck.

But wait. Which way?

(WHOOPING)

(DUCKS CHANTING)

All right.

DISK JOCKEY: ? Throw your wings in the air Like you just don't care

? Throw your wings in the air Like you just don't care

? I just wanna hear you quack!

? Quack! ALL: Quack!

? I just wanna hear you quack!

ALL: Quack!

Drakes and ducks, put your wings together and welcome Soup Duck!

(ALL CHEERING) ? Yeah ?

And Cool Quack J!

? Yo, yo, upside down I rule this here sound

? This bird is such a nerd I rhyme circles round this clown

? Gonna splash you with my webbed feet

? Take you down to danger street

? You better watch your beak

? 'Cause when I'm done with you There ain't no retreat ?

'Kay, I got this. Yeah. Yeah.

Quack, quack.

My name's Soup Duck.

? This duck's my pet Kicking tail ain't no sweat

? Here, looking at the sky Rock it till you cry foul

? Oh, yeah, his style is fallible My rhymes invaluable

? He's so tiny He's half a half kilo

? You ain't even good enough to stuff in my pillow

? It's so humiliating Your rhymes could barely fly

? There's no retaliating Are you gonna cry?

? I can tell already that your rap is so cheap

? Stick could crack your shell

? You're a punk off the street ?

Kid.

Whoo! Soup Duck!

Yeah! That was sick, yo.

So, where's the duck that you fought?

I don't see him.

Yo, yo. Let's check out the next matchup today.

Okay. Who's game to go?

I know. You go up there.

Me? I can't rap. Yes, yes.

Lesson one. Overcoming stage fright. Let's go.

No, no. Please don't make me.

Hey! I've got your guy right here! Help!

No way! No, no, no. Come on, Rolo.

ROLO: No! Not me! Not it. Uh-huh.

This rooster can defeat anyone.

Not true. He's highly medicated.

Okay. Yo, cockatoo. What you do here?

Everybody knows only ducks can rap.

Oh. Are you afraid of roosters?

(ALL EXCLAIMS)

Oh, no, he didn't.

All right, all right, all right,

I'll take this chicky down a peg or two.

Huh?

DJ, gimme a beat! Break it down.

Right there, right there, right there like this.

Yeah. You're up.

? Yo, you feelin' pretty cocky You coming here to boast

? You're nothing but a hatchling That smells like roast

? Ha, ha, yo, yo

? Uh, uh

? You nothing but a splinter

? Who flies north for the winter

? I'm saying this to you Fly back to your coop

? And take your little group You cock-a-doodle-doo ?

(ALL CHEERING)

Jay and Silent Bacon should do that...

What, what?

(CLEARS THROAT)

(CHUCKLES)

? You're an ugly duckling And rhymes with duckling ?

? Uh, uh, uh Oh, man.

(BEATBOXING)

? Wow, you just so ugly, duck

(ALL BOOING)

? Duck-goose, I goose you so ugly you

? So, duck in and duck for cover ?

(ALL BOOING)

Oh, no. Yeah.

Let's be honest, we knew singing wasn't his thing.

Oh, I hope Don Alfonso knows what he's doing.

(ALL BOOING)

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

This isn't how roosters fight.

The kid's a boxer, not a singer.

(SNORES)

Don't you know any ducks who can fight for real?

ALL: Fight! Fight! Fight! ROLO: What are they saying?

Did they like my jam?

And here's your opponent.

It's Duck Norris!

(ROARING)

Did not see this coming. No.

No way. That duck just roared. It's gotta be a mutant.

Ha! Ya!

Hiya! Ha!

Ya!

(SHOUTS)

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

Are you ready? (ALL CHEERING)

Don Alfonso!

Don't be afraid. Don't let him intimidate you.

What do I do?

Just follow your instincts, Rolo.

(PANTING)

(GASPS)

(GROANS)

My good kicking leg. That's gonna hurt tomorrow.

He won?

He won! Yeah.

And that's how you win a fight, you duckers.

Okay.

Cool, huh?

Mmm, mmm.

(GASPS)

There he is!

(ALL CHEERING)

Uh-oh.

(SHUDDERS)

(GROANS)

(INAUDIBLE)

Oh, at this rate, training alone is gonna kill him.

Oh, come on. He can't do much worse than this.

That was the best way to get his attention.

Oh, yeah? Whose?

Aye yai yai. What is going on?

I don't know if I should cry, or just throw in the towel,

'cause after this, I think I've seen it all.

Huh?

Which one of you is thick enough

to pit a mangy rooster against a duck?

What? Huh?

Are you trying to send this guy

to the big chicken coop in the sky

or whatever you kids call it?

Dude's crazier than me.

Uh... And you are?

All right. Now, cower before Sir Mickey Mallard Britney Douglovich Esquire III.

King of the pool, star of the stage.

Hey, Mickey, we're looking for a duck.

A duck? Which duck is that?

'Cause we got ducks, ducks, ducks, ducks, coming out of our blowholes.

Lookie here. Whatever your hearts' desire.

We got ducks with green feathers,

yellow, blue, black, orange, glow-in-the-dark, tutti frutti.

We got king-size, queen-size, double-twin inflatable and many more.

Howard, Donald, Aflac, Daffy and Darkwing,

take just one or take 'em all! Your choice.

Hey, hey, hey, we're not just looking for any duck.

Whoa! They're all shiny, little fella.

Not just your run-of-the-mill ducks.

We're looking for a duck who would dress

like a rooster to pull a fast one on people.

A-ha!

Wait a sec. Am I getting Punk'd? Come here!

Come here! Come out, come out, come out!

Or I'm gonna crack myself, I swear it.

Bacon, do I act like that, for reals?

Hey, easy now. Have you heard of this duck, or not?

Have I heard of him? Ha!

I thought I was an orphan, and then this guy pops up out of nowhere and says,

"I have a hard time saying I love you."

And I say, "Well, I have a hard time saying Worcestershire sauce."

And then he says, "I am your father."

And I say, "Well, you and what army, Lord of the Sith."

He's your father then?

Absotutin'.

And I says to him, "Where you been, Daddio?"

And he says, "On the road, 'cause I've been boxing. I'm a champ."

And I says, "I don't buy it." And he says, "Watch me."

And he takes me to the arena. And I sit down and I watch him and...

Boom! Whoa! Poof! Ka-boom!

Rooster for breakfast.

And he was fighting and fighting until the day folks made fun of him,

'cause some goofball ran like a headless chicken.

(SIGHS) I was that goofball.

And trust me, between the two of us, I was the bigger fool.

Oh, yeah. Well, then, it's your fault!

(SHOUTS)

(CHOMPING)

I'm not afraid of you!

(SIGHS)

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, put me down. That's not cool! What is my fault?

After that day, he got blue 'cause he couldn't fight.

So, he started online dating, and they never turn out like their pictures.

So, he'd just roam around, quacking incoherently,

yelling, "Suffer the little children!"

I'd say, "I'm right here, Dad." He was never the same again.

Okay, that's awesome, but we're looking for him because we need his help.

I don't know where he is.

Went to find himself. Said it would soothe his soul.

Put me down already. I promise not to bite, okay?

(SHOUTS)

(CHOKING)

(COUGHS)

(CHOKING)

Where do you think he is?

Well, don't quote me, but I heard he's spelunking in an alligator gut.

Wait. So, an alligator ate him?

No, spelunking in an alligator.

Jeez, it's like you don't speak English.

How long ago was this? Maybe a year.

Who knows with daylight savings.

And so, you're saying he's still spelunking in an alligator gut?

Who told you?

Uh... This guy.

Come on, we're wasting our time. That duck is a dead duck.

No! He can't be gone! Say it ain't so!

Hey, hey, hey, calm down.

She did not mean dead as a doorknob, she meant "dead" dead.

(CRYING) No!

You know, dead tired, not... Not like he's,

you know, he's fertilizing trees dead.

No, no, I meant more like emotionally absent.

Oh, that makes sense. And what should I call you, sweet thing?

Uh, Bibi.

Do you know of any other ducks who might be able to train our rooster?

He has to fight in, like, two weeks.

Skinny stems, weak flappers,

tiny schnoz, underdeveloped spurs, really, really big head.

This dude's way too young to fight. Can't you see that?

They're gonna make mincemeat out of him.

We have no choice. If he doesn't fight, then we lose our home.

Huh?

(GROANS)

Okay, I want my own trailer, absolute silence at 3:00,

Season Three of DuckTaleson DVD, whoo-hoo!

A special shell massage from you.

M&M'S in the green room, but no green M&M'S.

I got to tell you, buddy. I don't think there's enough room

in our gang for two nut jobs.

No, you're not that crazy, Carney.

Talking about you, brother. Oh... Mmm.

Ow, ow, ow.

I don't know if I can go through with this, Bacon.

Especially with that trainer you guys found. What do you think?

That's okay, Bacon, thank you.

I think the swelling's down.

I'm not afraid.

I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid.

I'm afraid. But I'm glad you're here with me.

You think I can win?

I wish I could think like you do, Bacon.

MICKEY: Well, just do it.

Like the saying goes, "If the tutu fits, get on your toes."

Tutu? What I mean is,

you believe in yourself, you can do it.

What?

"Your thoughts spur your actions."

That's what my dad used to say. Hmm.

"Hmm," what? Don't you "hmm" me, or I'll "hmm" you.

Tomorrow, we start training.

And the first thing I want you to learn

is for yourself to believe in you.

Okay.

Repeat after me, "Yes, I can."

Yes, I can. No, no, no, no.

Come on, believe it.

Yes, I can!

Yes, I can. Louder!

Yes, I can.

No, louder!

Yes, I can!

Yes! Yes, I can. Yes, I can.

Yes, I can! Yes, I can!

Yes, I can! Yes, I can!

Yes, I can!

You're doing it! Yes, I can!

Yes! Perfect!

Yes, I can! Yes, I can! Yes, I can! Whoo!

Nothing can stop me! I'm the best! Yes, I can! Yeah!

Show me the money! Yes, I can!

No. Wait, wait. I mean, yes, I can! Yes, I can!

Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Yes, I can.

Uh... Okay. Yeah, pretty sure I'm doomed.

ROLO: Uh... Where's Mickey?

(YAWNS)

What gives, dude? We've been waiting here all morning.

Sorry, slept in. Was up all night running drills.

See you bright and early, champ.

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

(GRUNTING)

Come on!

(GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

(STRAINING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTING) (CHICKEN CACKLES)

Nice!

Eleven, twelve, five...

Two!

(CHUCKLING) Yeah!

(PANTING)

Whoo-hoo!

I'm the king of the world!

(GRUNTS)

Hey, not bad, huh?

I guess, for your first day, it's all right.

But you're still no match for Talons of Thunder.

Well, I'm having fun. So, what's next, coach?

For your next lesson, I would like you to paint the fence.

(CHUCKLES) Mmm.

Wax on, wax off. I mean, paint on, paint off.

Seriously? That's gonna make me a better boxer?

Well, I don't know, but if it's good enough for the Karate Chick,

then it's good enough for you.

To win at rooster boxing, you got to be a duck, see.

What I mean is,

you have to channel two moves

that only ducks know how to do

and roosters have no clue about.

Flying and swimming.

You're kidding?

Dude, I know how to fly. Not that kind of flying.

Since you're new, let's start with flying.

(SHOUTS)

Spread your wings, for crying out loud. That's what they're for.

Be one with the air and pretend you're a goose.

Right, a goose.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

Aye yai yai.

Raven!

(GROANS)

Eagle!

(GROANS)

Parakeet!

(SHOUTS)

One of those birds on the beach that walk funny!

MICKEY: Blue-footed booby!

Pelican! Penguin! Pigeon!

Embrace the spirit of a whale.

Whales don't fly.

Well, that makes two of you!

Okay. Whale.

(SIGHS)

(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

So?

(ROLO GROANING)

That bad?

Worse. I hope he improves tomorrow.

He's supposed to learn how to swim.

(CHUCKLES)

Hmm. It's been a while. How long would you say

a rooster can make it underwater?

Let him be. He's just chillin'. He's in the zone.

I think he ain't coming up. Not it. Not it!

You're up, pal. Why me?

Hey, who's wearing the rescue squad helmet?

(GROANS)

(GASPS)

Shake it off, shake it off, don't stop moving.

Hit me.

Jab, jab, your left. Your other left!

Now, block, body blow, power move, power combination!

Huh? My power move?

Pretend your opponent is a vending machine that just stole your money,

and your favorite snack is just hanging there

like a booger at the side of your face that no one tells you about.

Do you pray for a strong wind to knock that machine down?

No. You smack it till that Butter Nutter falls, and you can save it for later.

Huh? Uh-uh.

You just have to find your power move.

Or you can just unplug the machine

and smash it with a sledge hammer. (LAUGHS)

Go on, Rolo, find it. Let it out!

Okay, here goes.

Come on, Rolo, hit me.

Hit you? I just did.

Uh, let me see.

Perhaps, try finding your power move,

by relying on your crow, like so...

Okay. Okay. (CROWING)

(GRUNTS)

(LAUGHING)

What the... Dad!

I barely even touched him.

Now, that was a spicy chicken wing.

(GROANS)

(GRUNTING)

Can't hold it anymore.

Hold tight.

No pain, no gain.

We have to stretch your wings, so you can fly.

Hey, look, look, look, look. He didn't sink. Ooh.

Yo, duck, you doing all right? What's up, baby?

(PANTING)

(SHOUTS)

Ready, Freddy?

No. What?

But you got it. Just gotta give it some "oomph."

Give it quack.

Quack!

No, wait, wait. No.

(SHOUTS)

(PANTING)

Quack!

Hey, right side up, he did it! He landed, yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

MICKEY: Goose!

Cannon ball!

Raven!

Blue-footed booby!

Whale!

Pelican!

Ah!

Nice thing.

Hey, that wasn't special.

Talk to Willy.

Ah.

Oh, good morning, son. Here you go.

Mmm.

Hey, are you all set for tomorrow?

What was that again? Huh?

Tomorrow's the big match.

You think that I'm a catch?

No, the big fight at the ring.

You wanna have a fling?

No, no, no. The rooster fight.

Oh, you flirt.

Well, if that's what the kids are calling it these days.

Not us, the roosters at the arena.

Let's see here.

(MUMBLES)

Chunky Chicken Farms is betting its future on a high stakes wager.

(GASPS) Oh, dear.

You could buy a new hearing aid.

Oh, no, we're all out of lemonade.

No, I mean, if you win the bet against the farm.

You see?

Oh, Grandpa, what did you get me into before you left us?

Oh.

Good luck, lady. You need it!

(GROANING)

Oh, boy, what are we doing here?

I don't like the looks of this.

Just go.

(SCREAMS)

(PANTS) Whoa, whoa!

Guys, slow down. You trying to kill me?

Remember your fight with Duck Norris in the lake?

That lunatic? Yeah, but this is a lot higher.

You dodged him on your first try because that's your instinct.

Fear keeps you alert. Harness it.

Here they come, here they come, here they come! (SHUDDERS)

This is it, Rolo.

Now, let your body do what it knows how to do.

When you feel like a chicken, let the rooster out.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Fly.

Wing scraper.

Backstroke.

Tie my shoe!

Cartwheel.

Paint the fence.

Whale.

Belly flop. (GRUNTS)

I did it! I did it!

I did it! I did it!

Wow, brother, this coach is like Mr. Miyagi on espresso.

I did it, I did it, I did it!

Hey coach, I did it.

Your best defense is to duck.

They'll never expect it. "Hiya." Just like that.

Rolo-san, Namaste.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, yeah!

(GASPS)

Hmm.

That little rooster's doing some weird stuff.

Nobody can lay a finger on him.

Mmm.

We have to make sure he doesn't stand a chance.

(GASPS) Snatch a few of his friends from that farm.

The champ's not going to like that very much, I don't think so.

Well, the champ doesn't need to know.

And don't even think of telling the Eggfather.

If you ask me, Talons of Thunder can win without your meddling.

Look here, you trashcan with wings.

I've worked long and hard to get to where I am.

And I'm not risking that hillbilly farm bird catching a lucky break.

Now, get your junkyard buddies together,

unless you want to go back to eating roadkill on the highway.

Ow.

Hmm.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Tomorrow's the big day. You gotta find your power move.

What do you mean, "Find?" Find where?

It's inside. Right here.

Yeah, we all have to find our power move.

How do I find mine?

Use your crow.

Well, we're screwed.

Yeah, I can't crow.

You got more nose than a lying puppet.

Buddy, where do you get those colorful expressions?

Buck up, sing.

Okay then, I'll try.

Cock-a-doodle-doo! (ALL GROANING)

Cut it out.

Wow.

You're way worse than Happy Feet.

We're done for, catch you later.

Okay, pay attention.

Now... Just leave him alone.

You've tortured him enough these past two weeks.

I'm sure it'll all be okay.

Oh, of course.

(CLEARS THROAT) She's right.

Yeah, I don't think Rolo needs our help right now. (CHUCKLES)

Let's go.

(STAMMERS)

Okay. Practice. Find your power move.

And release your crow.

Catch you later, Rolo.

Just, uh, put a sock on the door. (CHUCKLES)

Uh... (GIGGLES)

I'm kind of nervous. Maybe I should work on my moves a little.

Maybe this will help. Come here.

Huh? (GASPS)

Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I... I have to practice, bye.

(GIGGLING) Okay.

Good night, Rolo. And thanks for fighting for us.

Hmm.

(GIGGLES)

(SIGHS)

All right, all right, all right.

Okay, Karate Rooster!

No. No, no, no, no. Come on.

Mortal Rooster!

Get over here. Finish him! No.

Put more weight on the left foot. Let it out. Nunchuks.

Nunchuks! Come on, Rolo, you can do it. Let it out.

(ROARING)

Help! No, no, no, no! Please don't make me! No!

Rolo, are you really gonna save the farm?

You're my hero.

Yes, you are.

(GASPING)

I love you so much.

(GASPING)

Don't leave. Don Alfonso! Don Alfonso!

Ready? (PANTING) I can't.

Calm down, take a deep breath.

Grandma's coming.

No, no. I had a dream.

And horrible and... Change my sheets. Huh? (DOOR OPENS)

Let's see.

Which one of you two roosters is going to fight today?

Hmm.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

What?

No. No, I can't!

I'm sorry.

(SCREAMS)

Rolo.

I suppose that's you. Attaboy, then.

Dad? Everything's gonna be okay.

(GRUNTS)

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Grandma's still got it!

Move, cow! (COW MOOING)

(BOTH PANTING)

Yo, Gray. I gotta shoot straight, man.

What do you mean, dude?

I think them chicken nuggets are long gone, man. (HORN HONKING)

Wow, man.

Well, I'll be. It's the nuggets. Look!

Not now, man, my tail hurts, see.

Oh, it hurts? Yeah, I'm saying...

No wonder, dude. Your tail's been cut off, look!

Whoa! Wait, wait... See? It's gone.

What? I'm a coward, I know.

Don't rub it in... It's okay.

I don't know what I'd do in your place.

Yeah, 'cause I'm not who you think I am.

Rolo, you got it all wrong. You're not who you think you are.

Waah!

"Everyone feel sorry for me, I'm a quacky quitter."

Why don't we all just give up the farm and go work in a diner?

As the main course. Sound like a plan?

Okay, I get it. I'm the big disappointment, yet again.

But you, my friend, are just an egg, who still hasn't hatched yet.

And who can't even face the fact, that his dad was dumb enough

to get swallowed by an alligator.

Hey! Just because I have tattoos

doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

Big meanie.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, uh, far be it from me to cut the drama short, but what's that?

(ALL SCREECHING)

Oh, lord! Vultures. They've been spying on us.

Incoming! Everyone inside!

Help! (BELL RINGING)

God, help!

(SCREAMING)

Oh, no!

(DOG BARKING)

(SCREAMING)

Come on, Rolo, we need you.

You've gotta do something.

What do I do?

Maybe you don't believe in yourself, but I do.

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

Fly, you idiot!

ROLO: How?

I don't know, you're the bird!

Fly!

Help me, Mommy!

(SCREAMING)

Whoo-hoo!

Mommy! Go! Run, kids!

Don't fail me now. Don't fail me now. Whoa!

Get a move on, yo!

Oh, it's Rolo.

My hero. He's gonna save us.

(GASPS)

Yeah! It's me and you, buddy. Flying high and fighting crime.

Whoa, I think I'm tripping, my cream of mushroom must have went bad.

Huh?

(SCREAMING)

ROLO: On my way, Mom!

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMING)

Thank you, Rolo.

Leave him to me, buddy, I got this.

(SHOUTS)

(GROANING)

Yeah. Whoo!

Give 'em hell, babe.

(GRUNTS)

(GASPING)

Oh.

(SHOUTS)

Don't think you can get rid of me that easy, babe.

Hey.

(GRUNTS)

How many times do I have to tell you?

You have to spread your wings!

Thank you.

Now, fly!

Egg Leader Five in position.

We're going in.

You thought you were getting away?

Oh, you don't want to mess with me.

(VOCALIZING)

Whoa, what?

Hmm.

You're mine.

Hello, pretty lady.

Shall we, hmm?

Okay.

Well, love is love.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

The chickens getting away.

Time to get the ducks then I think, come on.

Huh?

I have an idea! Follow me!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SCREAMING)

(CRIES)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Get your ducks in a row.

(FARTS)

Oops, Oh, no, I think I just sharted.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

Oh. Don't look. (SCREAMS)

All right. This means business now.

(PANTING)

Rolo, you're my hero.

Wow! You are.

You saved us, Rolo.

Not quite, I've still got a fight to win.

Yeah, that's my bird! Mickey loves ya!

Hey, what fight?

Uh, the boxing match.

Oh, yeah, yeah, right, right. Gotcha.

Mickey, about what I said. I didn't mean to, I'm sorry...

Forget it, forget it, forget it.

My father made his call, he'll show up.

No worries. I'm sure he will.

Okay, well, we should go. The match will be starting soon.

Come on, guys. (CHUCKLES)

Rolo, no matter what happens, I am very proud of you, sweetie.

To the arena.

Oh, help! Help! Help! (SOBS)

Nobody cares about me.

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to a night of rooster boxing.

Let's get ready to rumble!

(GASPS) Careful, that chair has a weight limit.

Ugh.

(GASPS) Ugh.

ANNOUNCER: In the ring,

Goose Lee versus Walker Texas Free Ranger.

(FEEDBACK WHINES) Knockout!

REFEREE: Winner, Goose Lee.

ANNOUNCER: Up next.

Gallonator versus Mr. Miago.

Let's get Round One started.

(ALL CHEERING)

Angry looking fellow. And here's Mr. Miago.

He charges in.

Mr. Miago does not look scared.

And he's not.

REFEREE: ...nine, ten.

And Mr. Miago wins. With the reflexes.

(CHUCKLES)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Adrian!

(GRUNTING)

Ah, arthritis. (KNOCK ON DOOR)

Rolo.

What, you think I was just gonna chicken out?

I knew there was more to you.

Cowboy up.

You're up next, old timer.

All right, all right, all right. Quit with the sappy stuff.

Get the gloves on the kid.

Dad, what happened?

Rolo is going to fight.

Hmm? Hmm.

Remember, focus. Flying, landing, tire him out, okay?

Duck, dodge, roll. Hit him here and there.

But save the power move for when he's pooped.

Let's do it. Yeah.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Ladies and gentlemen.

Are you ready for the main event?

A warm welcome.

He's an honest fighter, but a brave one.

(ROOSTER CROWING)

All the way from Chunky Chicken Farms,

in the blue corner, owned by Prudence Ruvalcaba,

the lady known as Grandma, our challenger!

The Rooster Revenger Rolo! (CROWD CHEERING)

Wow. Wow.

Here I am.

And here he is,

the one and only, the strong and sturdy,

belonging to Billy Bob Thornton, Aka Shady Slim,

unforgiving and unrelenting,

the rooster roaster. (FIREWORKS BURSTING)

The undefeated champion,

Talons of Thunder!

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

All right, boys, get to your corners.

Ah, you're such a cute little fella.

And you've always been such a good boy.

But are you the one I picked? Wait, I can't remember.

Lady, just put him up in the air, for crying out loud.

Well, say what you mean then, mister.

All right, kids, it's time to fight.

(LAUGHS)

(CHUCKLES)

You better play fair, I'm warning you.

Ready, steady,

(RINGS)

fight!

(BOTH GRUNT)

That's it, baby.

Get up, kid!

It looks like the first blow was enough

to end the match before it began.

Yeah! Yeah! Best if you stay down there, kid.

...two, three, four... (BREATHING HEAVILY)

...five,

six, seven, eight, nine...

ANNOUNCER: The little rooster is back on his feet. This is not over.

Yeah. Yeah.

You still got something left, huh?

Hey, is that all you got?

(LAUGHS)

(SHOUTS)

No! Go away! (CROWD BOOING)

No! No! Stop running!

You got a better idea?

If you run, they disqualify you!

Stop running! Just stop!

Seems like The Rooster Revenger

should really be called The Ring Runner.

I've never seen anything like that guy. Look at him go, jeez.

Oh.

This is a joke! Come on! It's a joke! Come on!

Hey, what the duck are you doing?

(GASPING)

I don't know, but he's really strong!

Remember the training. Let go! Fly!

Let your body do what it knows how to do!

You know, I almost feel sorry for this kid. Poor little guy.

It looks like this little rooster's got some spunk.

Um, well...

(GASPS)

Come on!

(CROWD CHEERING)

I am gonna pluck you alive.

Come on! Swerve, paint the fence, tie my shoe,

pelican, cartwheel!

Whale, blue-footed booby!

Break the pen!

(CROWD EXCLAIMS)

Come on, Rolo!

(GASPS) (GRUNTS)

(RINGS)

And there's the bell. The first round is over. Let's start the second round.

Get over here! The bell!

Didn't you hear it? Ring, ring, ring!

That was a lucky shot! (GASPS)

REFEREE: All right, break it up.

Did you see me? I hit him.

Nothing pretty about that.

It's only the first round. But you held on.

And you cost me a bunch of money.

Pretty sick, bro, 37 punches to one. Fantastic!

Uh, I failed math, but I think you're even.

Yeah, but I'm really messing with his head. He looks scared.

(GRUNTING)

No worries. Well, kind of.

Really worried, so worried, no.

But kind of like worried, worried-ish.

(BELL RINGS) Oh, Mommy.

Focus, focus.

Bring it. Go on!

Just in case you see it, don't go to the light.

(WHISTLING)

ANNOUNCER: And we're off!

(GRUNTS)

What the deviled egg are you doing? Get up!

I don't believe my eyes. These punches are cannonballs!

One, two, three!

They gave him the short count, but now he's back in the game.

(CROWD CHEERING)

All right! Yeah!

(ALL CHEERING)

You got this, Rolo!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Oh. (CHEERS)

(BELL RINGS)

(GROANS)

Oh, man!

He's gonna win! He's gonna win!

Get out of my face! I don't want that!

ANNOUNCER: Okay, here we go. Man, these guys are really going at it.

Nice punch! Round Three's up.

Oh.

(CHEERS)

ANNOUNCER: Man, these guys aren't going down. And another connect.

(BOTH GRUNT)

Ooh, that's gotta hurt!

What the... (GROANS)

ANNOUNCER: And the blue fans are going wild!

Hang on, hang on. How many fingers?

Oh, man, this is chaos! Listen to that crowd!

WOMAN 1: You rock! WOMAN 2: Yeah!

Oh, yeah, come say that to my face!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Shut up! Shut up!

Stay sharp, Rolo. He's getting ready to bring out the big guns.

Wait. Are you saying those were small guns?

Yeah, but he's burned out. Time to mix it up. (GROANS)

Don't forget, spread your wings and fly!

(SHOUTS)

It took him long enough to pull out his famous boulder slam.

That's my Rolo! Yeah!

ANNOUNCER: This is incredible!

No one would've ever guessed that this rookie could keep Talons of Thunder at bay.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Quit moving around!

ANNOUNCER: Looks like Talons of Thunder is getting tired.

(GROANS)

(CROWD EXCLAIMS)

Two alligators, three alligators...

Swim! Swim! REFEREE: ...four alligators,

five alligators, six alligators,

seven alligators, eight alligators,

nine alligators...

Oh, come on! He was counting slow!

En garde,and fight!

(RINGS)

This is an exciting match, but the hit count clearly favors Talons of Thunder.

If Rolo doesn't knock him out,

the dream to save Chunky Chicken Farm will be lost.

I lost my mouth guard.

Give me another. Oh, okay.

Okay, Rolo. Put up or shut up. Your power move!

ANNOUNCER: Against all odds, we've gone the distance. (RINGS)

Round 12. This is it.

Yeah! Hmm.

(GASPS)

(CROWD EXCLAIMS)

Talons of Thunder is showing his fatigue.

Now, Rolo!

(GRUNTS)

(LAUGHS)

That was your power move? That was it?

Huh?

It didn't work.

No, man!

Oh, this little rooster still hasn't found his power move!

Rolo, you have to crow!

No, it won't work. I can't crow!

Your crow will give you strength! Use it!

Yeah, let it out, Rolo!

Hey, man. We trust you, buddy. But not completely. But we do.

Do it now! This is your moment!

(GRUNTING TIREDLY)

You know what you are?

MICKEY: When you feel like a chicken, let the rooster out.

What? You're gonna hit me?

Yeah.

(GRUNTING)

He's gonna do it. He's gonna!

Kick his tail, Rolo!

Jeez Louise with a side of cheese,

make his chickens come home to roost.

You got it. He's all yours. Get him!

Defend yourself. Come on!

You can do it, son!

(GASPS)

Yeah!

(STRAINING)

Crow!

DON ALFONSO: Have no fear. Don't hold it inside. From the gut.

(CROWING)

(GROANS)

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

(ALL CHEERING)

One, two, three, four,

five, six...

Stay down.

...seven, eight, nine, ten.

It's all over. Rolo's the winner!

(ALL CHEERING)

He won, Daddy! He won, he won! Did you see that?

I won? I won! I won! (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

Whoo!

I won! Yeah!

ANNOUNCER: And the winner is Rolo!

Yeah! I did it!

I can't believe it. I lost! (CRYING) I can't believe it!

(GROANING)

(LAUGHS)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING) Yeah! Whoo! Yeah!

Whoo-hoo! (CHICKENS CLUCKING)

In your face, Talons of Thunder!

You did it! That's my boy!

Oh, I love him so much!

(YELPS)

Yeah! Rolo! Brother!

He won! You won!

Chicken, bacon, eggs and such! What, What!

Well done! Bravo! Come here! (CHUCKLING)

Congratulations.

You did it, Rolo. Oh, okay.

You did it.

That's my Huckleberry.

I made him! I'm a genius.

I'm so proud of you. You did it.

Dee!

What I wanted to say is that you and me...

Shut your beak.

(GROANS) Ew.

(SLURPING)

Hey, kid.

You're not so bad, you know.

That's really cool of you. Thanks, champ.

I sometimes wish I knew what they say to each other.

Looks like an interesting conversation.

(CLUCKING)

This isn't over.

(SCREAMS)

If you think I'mma lose that farm... MAN: Oh, no!

...you got another thing coming, hear me? WOMAN: Oh, no!

MAN: Oh, my God.

(THUDS) Oh.

Such a rude, young man! Shame on you!

(CROWD CHEERING)

Oh! Well, thank you. It was nothing.

Just my good luck brick and a little muscle.

Section five... Wait a minute! This is a forged paper.

Every farm goes back to its rightful owner.

All you Po-poes are the same!

You're racist! I'm a victim!

All right, back it up, back it up. Right here.

Let's get another one.

These are your winnings.

Is that a lot?

Let's just say, Chunky Chicken Farms will be free and clear.

I'll make sure Grandma gets this. She's good people.

Wait, but if Talons of Thunder lost,

how did you make all that money?

Because I bet on you.

Sixty to one.

On me?

Don Alfonso took me aside and gave me the idea in private.

So, then you knew I was gonna fight from the very beginning?

It looks like the only one who didn't believe in you, was you.

Well, Talons of Thunder, of course, will keep fighting.

(LAUGHS)

You are retired.

Okay, so, if you wanted Rolo to win,

then why'd you send the vultures to attack us?

Vultures?

Yeah, they were stealing our women and children, the good ones.

Is this true? I don't know what he's talking about.

It was her.

She tried to kidnap chickens from our farm

to distract Rolo, so he could lose.

Did you do this, chicklet?

Me? No, baby.

Tell me. Is it true, One-Eye?

We weren't thinking, Eggfather.

We've been starved, you know, with the recession and all.

But I did it for you.

No, you didn't. You did it for yourself.

Get that bird out of my sight!

But baby, I had to.

Let me go! You don't understand, baby. We were gonna be stars.

CHICKLET: Remember?

How many fights have I actually won? How can I trust you?

It won't happen again. I'll make sure to feed those vultures better.

But you, you're a champ. Don't you forget it.

Yeah, I am.

Can I have your autograph, champ?

You got that right.

So, are we square?

That, we are, my friend.

So, what do you think about my suit, huh?

BOTH: Uh...

I knew it. Makes my butt look big.

Manfred, cashmere!

(SINGING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Yeah. (LAUGHS)

Yo, yo.

(BARKING)

Whoo-hoo!

(CROWS)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Yo, Gray, are you totally sure this is gonna work, man?

Dude, I saw this crazy coyote, dude, on TV. Trust me.

Dude, coyotes are shady. (MOTORBIKES APPROACHING)

Did he get the nuggets?

I don't know. I never saw the end.

Now, dude!

No!

(BOTH SCREAM)

(BOTH GROANING)

GRAY: This is way too much work for chicken nuggets!

(CONTINUES GROANING)

(TRADITIONAL POP MUSIC PLAYNG)