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(upbeat music)

(alarm ringing) (cat screeching)

- Oh my god.

(lighthearted music)

(alarm beeping)

Good morning Casanova.

Did you sleep well?

Yes I did, thank you very much, Mama.

Very well, thank you.

I think we'll need to make some coffee.

(lighthearted music)

- I'm Grace Fields from Channel 2 News.

- Hey, so what are we gonna have for breakfast this morning?

You want some Eggs Benedict?

French toast?

- I was talking to the people of San Francisco this morning

to get their reactions.

(lighthearted music)

- [Liz Voiceover] "Dear Ms. Madison,

"noticed you haven't mentioned your husband

"in any of your recent columns.

"Are you still married?

"If not, my nephew's available.

"Signed, Your Biggest Fan."

(mellow music)

- [Tom Voiceover] It's the day after Halloween,

which means it the week before Election Day.

And from here on out,

you won't be able to stroll two feet

without seeing the usual parade of propaganda.

In today's fast lane,

I would like to call your attention to Measure A,

which threatens to drastically cut

San Francisco's city funding for the arts.

While the measure is quickly gathering support

among San Francisco voters,

I beg you to consider the truth.

In reality, this measure is a thinly veiled attempt

by some politicians to suppress works

of which they don't approve.

I know I don't adore every piece of art out there,

but it's no one's place to prevent its existence.

- "To answer your question,

"my husband and I were divorced earlier this year.

"It's been hard, but living next door to my sister

"and darling niece, Jacqui,

"has certainly helped me through this difficult time,

"especially with Christmas approaching.

"And while I thank you for your offer,

"I think I'm gonna take my time

"and see what fate brings my way.

"Sincerely, Ms. Madison."

Hey, good morning.

(upbeat music)

- [Tom Voiceover] In two weeks, we'll tape a pilot

for a new television series.

If picked up, this show will bring my 21st century

metropolitan perspective of art,

culture, and politics

to where it's needed the most:

small town America.

- [Man] I know, I know--

- Good morning, Tom. - Good morning.

- Marge, can you leave,

'cause I can't escape if I wanna score a goal.

Yo!

Niners. - Did you see that game?

- I've got the tickets next week, man.

- I'm in, dude.

You got the tickets? - Done, done.

Mine's a rookie with attitude, what are you talking about?

(whimsical music)

- Hello?

Anybody?

(lighthearted music)

Oh! - Oh my god, Liz,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

- Elliot?

What the hell? - I'm an idiot.

I just thought it would have been really sweet

if I just tossed at you and you caught it in stride,

you know, kinda like James Bond?

- Just put them on my desk. - Okay. Yeah, that's fine.

Savage call on this week, by the way.

- Thanks.

I think.

- Do you want, Yeah.

On your desk.

- Thank you.

(somber music)

(upbeat music)

Oh, you're just Miss Popularity these days, huh?

(somber music)

(upbeat music) - Alright, I got it.

I'll call you back.

(somber music)

- Never have sex on Halloween.

Just when you get comfortable,

another Power Ranger comes to the door

and completely kills the mood.

- Thanks for the tip.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

- Yes, well, how about you.

Any loving this weekend? - What do you think?

- I think that you're crazy enough to turn me loose.

I could totally help you. - Oh Sarah,

I'm not a charity case.

- I know you're not a charity case.

You are a beautiful, intelligent woman

who was married to a man who was never gonna stay married.

- Do we have to do this right now?

It's a little early.

- I'm just saying that I'm

shocked that a woman

who writes about relationships for a living

wouldn't see the signs coming just a little bit.

Did I just think that out loud?

- You did.

- Sorry.

I just don't wanna see you wallowing.

- God, I'm not wallowing.

- Honey, I love you.

But I know a good wallow when I see one.

- Are you done?

'Cause I've got lots of people's problems

I need to solve right about now.

- I just don't wanna see you throw in the towel.

- I am not

throwing in the towel. - Okay, good.

Because I've been thinking long and hard about this,

and I wanna give you something.

Something I won't be needing,

now that Eliot's about to pop the question.

- What?

- Yes.

- Oh my god,

that's so exciting. - Yeah, I know.

- When did you find out?

- I told him if he didn't do it before Christmas,

I was gonna kill him in his sleep.

- Romantic. - Anyway, so.

Here it is.

It's all in there.

Profession, income, dating history,

how much hair they have left.

Now, some entries are a little more up-to-date than others.

But it's a start, right?

There's also a four-stallion rating system.

- You are crazy! I don't want this.

- Yes you do. I'm trying to help.

- Wanna go get a bagel?

- Yeah, sweetie, that is a super idea.

Why don't you just go wait over there

while we finish talking, okay.

Liz is having some girly issues.

- Okay, cool, cool.

Yeah, I'll just be over here.

- Liz, this is valuable stuff right here.

- I'm sure.

- If we don't share information,

we are only hurting ourselves. - Listen to me.

I am doing fine.

I don't need to start combing little black books just yet.

- See, operative word being yet.

Hang on to it for a while.

For me.

- Okay.

Fine.

Happy? - Yes.

- Don't you have a new story to write,

or something like that? - Oh, yes.

My exciting expose on the high school talent show.

Nothing exciting ever happens around here.

Oh, yeah, you are normal.

(mellow music)

- [Hayden] Yes?

- Maybe.

- Okay, okay, plan B. - Lemme see the other one.

- Open

now.

(whistling) Yes?

- Look at you.

Hey, this is some pretty expensive stuff.

- Please don't fondle the garments.

- Yeah, I'm picking up my wardrobe for the pilot.

Hey, what do you think, man, silk or cotton?

- You never trust a man in silk.

- They say that? - Uh, yeah.

- Alright, let's go with the silk.

- Silk, excellent choice.

- Alright, thank you, Hayden. - No, thank you.

- So, how'd it go?

- How what go?

- (chuckling) Don't play coy with me, pretty boy.

- I've had better conversations with a fish.

- Come on, she's Moroccan.

English is her third language.

- Yeah, well, she should come with subtitles.

- So, what happened, you get outta there early?

- No, we got busy. - What?

- Well, when she wasn't speaking, she was fine, dude.

- Wow, let me see if I have this straight.

You're gonna date a different girl every week

for the rest of your life,

and then you're gonna grow old and die alone

in a log cabin by a lake somewhere?

- [Tom] Actually, I'm thinking houseboat.

- Houseboat?

Take a look at this column.

- What is this?

An advice column?

- Christina reads it all the time.

- And your point?

- You need help, Tom.

- Alright, yeah, I'll be sure to read this.

- Fine, be that way.

All I'm saying is

is that you're gonna need somebody to wipe up your drool

when you're old and gray.

It ain't gonna be me.

You set up a tee time for tomorrow?

- 8:00 a.m.

- Well, you better get your cash ready, bud,

because my swing is looking pretty good.

- Alright, 8:00 a.m. sharp, or I'm teeing off without you.

- Yeah, just read the article.

Hey, yo, Gary.

Throw me the ball, buddy.

(somber music)

- Great column today.

- Thank you, Vicki.

- Are you ready for the taping?

- Oh yeah, I'm ready.

- Just don't get any ideas about jumping ship

if the show gets picked up.

(deep base music)

- I'm a loyal man. - Yes.

Like a puppy, right? - Something like that.

- Listen, I got this amazing three-bedroom in Tahoe

for the winter,

so, whenever you get the urge,

you know, me

cosa, you cosa.

- It's casa.

- What?

- Well, you just your thing is my thing.

- Yeah.

Well, you get the point.

Think about it.

- Good night, Vicki.

- Sleep tight.

Hate to watch you go,

but I love to watch you leave. - Yeah, I totally heard that.

- (chuckling) Sue me.

(dramatic music)

- [Sarah] Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Where do you think you're going?

- Home.

- Ah, no, no, no, I'm not letting you turn into a spinster.

Not on my watch.

- I'm babysitting my niece tonight.

- You know who you sound like, right?

- One of those lonely women who right me letters?

- Exactly.

So, call your sister,

tell her you're not the designated babysitter,

and come have some fun with us.

- I can't, I made a commitment.

- Oh, come on.

I'll tell Elliot to bring that cute guy from the printers.

- Which one?

- The one with the cool sideburns.

- Sarah, he's 20 years old. - He turned 21 last month.

- Okay, you know what? You are really starting to scare me.

- Oh, come on.

It's time to stop avoiding men, Liz.

I will not let you spend one more night at home

watching PBS. - I like PBS.

- Yeah, right. - I love PBS.

- See? - Aww, that's great, honey.

Now, if you ever wanna any again,

you'll zip it and get in the car.

(romantic music)

Yeah, go, go. - Yes ma'am.

- I appreciate the concern, but

maybe some other time, okay?

- I will not give up.

- G'night Elliot.

- Thank you. (somber music)

(laughing)

(lighthearted music)

- Ah-ah-ah-ah, not without washing your hands first.

- But I washed them.

- Sink.

Now, young lady. - Fine.

- Soap.

- [Jacqui] You know what I like about you?

- [Liz] What?

- [Jacqui] You always order take out.

- That's because Auntie Liz is too busy to cook.

- Can we rent a movie tonight?

- Mom said you have homework.

- Oh, I'll do it when I get home.

- No, it'll be too late.

Besides, I've got some homework too, so,

we can do it together, and then

let's movie watch. - Okay.

Is it annoying? - What?

Giving people advice all the time.

It's gotta get on your nerves.

I mean, you don't even know those people.

- That's why.

You think you're supposed to know everyone

you give advice to?

- Well, no,

but,

how do you give people advice about relationships if

you don't even have one?

- Eat your dinner.

(mellow music)

- What do you think?

Enough work for tonight?

- [Woman] Dear Ms. Madison.

There's a guy at work I'm really interested in.

I think he's flirting with me,

but I'm not sure if he's married.

How should I find out without letting him know I'm snooping?

Signed, Lusting in Accounts Payable.

- (giggling) Do you believe this?

- [Liz] Well Lusting,

you have to take matter into your own hands.

If you've got a friend in Human Resources,

check his marital status.

If you don't, make one.

And do it today.

Too often we sit back and daydream about a guy,

and when we finally work up the courage to approach him,

some other cougar's already sank her claws into him.

C'mon people, what are we waiting for?

It's go time.

Don't be afraid of rejection, embrace it.

- Yeah, okay.

And I'm sure all her relationships are perfect.

(mellow music)

You know, you're quiet tonight.

(tapping on glass)

Hey.

Hey.

(mellow music)

- [Computer] You have one match.

(upbeat music)

- Alright, Casanova.

Where's my guy?

(cat meows) What do you think?

(cat meows)

Does he look like he has a criminal record?

(cat purrs) Yeah, you're right.

Probably married.

(lighthearted music)

- What's going on? - Oh, that's Vicki Shaw,

editor-in-chief at the Sun.

- And what is she doing here?

- I don't know, but whatever it is it's not good.

- Yeah, something definitely stinks.

- Is this everyone?

- Yes, ma'am. - Good.

As some of you may or may not have heard,

Anthony Shephard has purchased the Marin County Voice.

Apparently, your owners are under the impression

that this paper no longer has what it takes

to compete in today's market place.

- What? - Come on.

- There's nothing wrong with the Voice.

- "State Budget Closes Women's Shelter in Nevado."

A woman's shelter.

On the front page.

Unless the Holy Grail is buried underneath the building,

there is no excuse for this.

- That shelter was a very important issue in this community.

- Cute, yeah.

But the fact is issues like that

won't make issues fly off the newsstands.

This, on the other hand, is a beautiful thing.

Tragedy sells, ladies and gentlemen.

According to the latest Fast Facts report,

your circulation has dropped 16% from just one year ago.

16%.

But have no fear.

We are gonna turn things around together.

The winds of change are in the air.

At the start of the first quarter,

Shephard Communication will assume control

of the day-to-day operations of this paper

under my supervision.

- What about our jobs?

- I'm looking to expand the editorial space and

staffing at the Sun, but

there may be a light consolidation in the process.

- That sounds like fancy schmancy speak for

you're all fired. - Wait a second, listen.

Are you taking over the paper, or are you

taking the paper?

- Mr. Shephard has not yet made that final decision.

(employees protesting) - But wait a second,

it is almost Christmas.

- November 2nd is not almost Christmas.

- Alright, what's the severance gonna be?

- Elliot, be nice.

- I would love to stay and answer all of your questions,

but I do have a meeting in the city.

But I look forward to working with some of you very soon.

(dramatic music)

- No longer has what it takes to compete

in today's marketplace?

Billingsley just sits there?

I couldn't believe it.

You know, I mean,

I wanted to stand up and say,

no, no, I'm not gonna just take this

quietly.

You know, I'm not one of these weak-willed women

that write me letters.

I'm strong, I'm feisty, I'm, I'm, I'm,

I'm Ms. Madison!

- Hold still. - Sorry.

- So, why didn't you?

- Wasn't the right time, yet.

- Well, Auntie, when will it be the right moment?

What, when you show up for work,

and there's a chain and padlock on the door?

Do you wanna go on unemployment?

- Jacqui?

- What?

- You're not helping.

(lighthearted music)

- [Nick] Oh,

nice shot. - Yeah,

cut it a little thin.

- "Cut it a little thin."

You get rid of your tee there, Buck?

Alright.

- Come on, fat man, let's go.

- I am not fat.

Just a little out of shape.

Oh, son--

(lighthearted music)

- That's a nice shot. - Shut up.

(mellow music)

- So, what's your take on the acquisition?

- What acquisition?

- You weren't in the conference call this morning?

Shephard bought the Marin County Voice.

- Why on earth would he do that?

- Word is he wants to expand in the community market.

- Well, if he's smart, he'll keep the name,

and use it as an insert in the Sunday edition.

- I don't know.

Sounds like a lot the little papers.

Hey, did you read that column I gave you?

- No.

- Well, you should.

She's not half bad looking either.

- Yeah, she'll be out of a job by the first of the year.

- Oh, I don't know, man.

Holidays are coming.

Papers like that are like neighborhood traditions.

Here's one.

- Nice.

- What do you play? - Oh, I'm sure that's fine.

- What are you playing?

- Pinnacle three.

- Nope. (lighthearted music)

- You really suck.

(upbeat music)

- [Tom Voiceover] Vicki,

congrats on the acquisition of the Marin County Voice.

Let me give you my thoughts on the subject.

(lighthearted music)

(somber music)

- [Woman] Dear Ms. Madison.

My boyfriend and I are about to celebrate

our first anniversary, but I just got laid off.

We used to split the rent and the bills,

now I'm having trouble keeping up.

My boyfriend says I need to get a job immediately,

but I wanna focus on a decision that's right for my career.

He makes good money, I think he's just spoiled.

What should I do?

Signed, Broke in Stoughton.

- [Liz Voiceover] What do you do?

You stop being such a sap and tell the jerk

that you're gonna damn well do what's best for your career.

If he doesn't like it, he can kiss your sweet butt

as you walk right out the door.

'Cause it's his loss.

You don't need him.

You don't need his money.

You are a strong, independent woman,

and if he doesn't come crawling right back to you,

he wasn't the right man anyway.

(somber music)

- Oh, Liz, good, I'm glad you're here.

I have something to tell you. - Me first.

- [Billingsley] Okay.

- Rumor has it we're gonna have to cancel

the Christmas tree lighting this year.

- There just isn't enough money in the budget.

- Mr. Billingsley, every year for 40 years

we have lit that tree in the middle of town,

and people come from miles to see it.

And it's a proud symbol of everything

that this paper represents,

and I for one am not gonna take this lying down.

- What do you propose? - I wanna change my column.

- Go on.

- Well, instead of using it to

help women wallow in their own self-pity,

I'd like to use it as a wake-up call

to this community, just to

show them how much this paper needs them,

whether they know it or not.

- And how are you gonna do that?

- Well, I haven't quite figured that out just yet.

All I know is

when the holidays are approaching, and this is the time

people are supposed to be coming together,

and instead, we're letting these

suits come in and rip us apart.

And I for one am not gonna just sit here

and let them do that.

- You just calm down. - Don't tell me to calm down.

This is not a time for calm.

For 70 years, this community has depended on this paper.

70 years.

TV, it changes.

Technology comes and goes, but

when people wake up in the morning, the one thing that

they can be sure of is that this newspaper

is gonna be sitting on their doorstep.

And they're gonna be able to pick it up,

and hold it in their hand, drink their coffee,

and feel connected with each other.

You can't replace that.

This is real.

This is tangible,

and we can't just let the big, bad city people

come in here and muscle us out of our town.

We have to do something about it.

You are all such great writers when you wanna be.

Sarah,

that piece that you wrote on the Scrabble Club,

that was fantastic.

- You read that? - Yes I read that.

Elliot?

The series you did on those amputees?

- Yeah.

- Oh my god, that was brilliant.

- Yeah, I know. - It was.

- All I'm saying is

we may not be around for much longer.

So we've gotta dig down deep,

and show these people what they're gonna be missing.

We need to dig down deep,

and give this paper everything that we've got.

This is our home, people.

We are under attack.

Now is the time to defend our home,

and the only thing we've got to defend it are our pens.

And our cameras.

We've gotta defend our home; now, who's with me?

(suspenseful music)

Come on, guys.

Come on, guys, who's with me?

- Yeah! - I'm with you sister!

(everyone cheering)

- Alright, people.

Why are we standing around.

We've got a deadline to hit.

- [Elliot] Let's get going!

(triumphant music)

- Hey.

What sounds better: originalist or textualist?

- Oh, so that's how you do it.

You just make up your own words.

That's cool.

- Remind me why we're friends again?

- You like my wife's cooking.

So, I heard about that email you sent to Vicki.

- What email?

- Allow me.

(clears throat) Vicki, congrats on the acquisition

of the Marin County Voice.

Let me give you my thoughts on the subject.

The Marin County Voice,

with it's high school sports coverage,

community theater reviews, and local police blotter,

feels like a relic rescued from the depths of Mayberry.

Even Ms. Madison's gossip column

has a contemporary sentiment of a 19th century schoolmarm.

- Too harsh? - Are you kidding?

Why are you even getting involved?

- Rumor has it, they save that paper, my show gets tossed.

- Well,

looks like your 19th century schoolmarm

is trying out some new tricks.

- What's this? - It's a new column.

It's actually pretty solid.

- Alright, if you think I'm gonna read this, you're crazy.

- Hey, I'm just telling you what you're up against.

- What I'm up against?

Look, I don't have time for this, alright?

I'm busy.

- Alright.

Suit yourself.

I'll see you at the office.

Hey, shut the door on your way out.

- [Nick] No problem, Mr. Grinch.

(lighthearted music)

- [Liz Voiceover] It's November 3rd.

52 shopping days left until Christmas.

As the holidays approach, I'm issuing a challenge

to the citizens of Marin.

Don't let life pass you by.

I'm as guilty as anyone of taking things for granted.

But we live in the most beautiful place in the world,

and it's time we start bragging about it.

(lighthearted music)

Look around you.

Live in the moment.

And by live in the moment, I mean, appreciate each other.

Because that's what the holidays are really about.

Christmas is more than just gingerbread men

and fat guys in red suits.

It's a time of togetherness and appreciation,

one that can't be encapsulated by silly songs and egg nog,

which for the record, I find absolutely disgusting.

This is the time to slow down and enjoy life.

Life we're too busy to appreciate the rest of the year.

I know it may sound sappy,

but I'm here to get something off my chest.

I'm excited about the holidays.

I love everything about them,

even those people who come to your door singing carols.

Those are your neighbors,

and even if it's just for a few weeks,

let's love them for who they are.

They go to your church.

Their children go to school with your children.

Invite them over, get to know them.

Expand the community that makes up your circle of friends.

- [TV] Does not take November.

- Hey Dad. - Enter.

You bring my ice cream?

- [Tom] Good to see you too, Dad.

- You came alone. - Yes, I'm still single, Dad.

Alright, get used to it.

- Whatever happened to that girl you used to bring over?

- Who?

- The cute one, with the accent.

- Who, Raquel?

- Ah, Raquel, yeah.

She was a looker.

- Dad, we broke up over a year ago.

- Now, that's a shame.

Are you gay? - What?

- Well, it fits the profile.

You know, nice dresser.

It's the fish.

It would explain a lot.

- No, Dad, I'm not gay.

- I'd be okay with it.

The mailman is gay.

- Well, good for him, Dad.

Dad, you know,

why don't you let me get you a new place.

You almost hate coming over here.

Everything's just so, old.

- I'm an old man.

- Well, you know what? It doesn't mean you can't live well.

I have money now. - Ooh, Mr. Big Shot.

- Come on, that's not what I meant.

I'm just...

You know, I wanna help.

- Your mother and I lived here for 23 years.

This is our home.

- Well, you know what?

I think Mom would have wanted you to live well, too.

- This is our home.

- I don't get it, it's just a house, Dad.

- Someday, you will.

Hopefully, sooner, rather than later.

So I can meet her.

- (sighs) Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(giggling)

- It's called 'Tis the Season,

and it's a brand new column that debuted yesterday

in the Marin County Voice.

I've been talking to the people of San Francisco

this morning to get their reaction.

Tell us, what is it about this article that speaks to you?

- Well, I just love the honesty.

It's funny, but it makes you think, too.

Makes you wanna go home and be with your family.

And she's fun, too.

You go, girl.

- Well, as you can see,

the reaction to Ms. Madison's new column

is overwhelmingly positive.

- I know, I saw it.

I'm they did tell me it was gonna be on.

- (squealing) Yeah, Grace Fields, Liz.

A lot of people watch Grace Fields.

- I know.

I just hope it translates into sales.

- Yeah, even if it doesn't, who cares.

You should be extremely proud of yourself.

We're all proud of you.

Aren't we, Elliot?

- I'm just not sure I understand it.

- Does it matter? Honey.

You fought back.

You showed 'em.

(lighthearted music)

- What's not to understand.

She's sexy, she's on fire.

People really like her.

- And I'm supposed to care?

- I don't think you're really giving this situation

the attention it deserves.

Your show's in trouble. - Alright,

would you get a hold of yourself, I'm trying to putt here.

- It's a good column.

- It's an okay, column. - Aha!

You read it. - I glanced at it, alright.

I'm not into that holiday crap.

- Yeah, well, lucky for the Marin County Voice,

Grace Fields is. - Alright,

so they got a little boost.

But one television spot does not a paper save.

- No, perhaps not, Master Yoda.

But your fear?

I can smell.

Watch this.

Get in the hole!

- Get in the hole? (chucking)

- These greens are way too fast.

- It's been raining for a week.

- I'm gonna talk to the greens keeper,

'cause he's not cutting these things properly.

(lighthearted music)

- Mama needs coffee.

Mama needs a shower.

(lighthearted music)

- This is getting ridiculous.

(lighthearted music)

- [Liz Voiceover] Holiday party invitations

arrived the other day.

There's nothing a single woman fears more

than opening that envelope

and having the RSVP card fall out.

The dreaded "Your Name plus one."

Your mind goes into the Rolodex

of anyone you've gone out with in the last six months.

Where have all the good options gone?

Where are all the men that open doors for us,

that pick up the check,

that would rather read a book than lift weights

until their head explodes,

that can carry on a conversation about something else

other than themselves?

This isn't a whole lot to ask, guys.

It really isn't.

(lighthearted music)

So, you're left thinking about inviting that

cute auto mechanic that fixed your fan belt.

But then, you wonder how your social circle

would accept a man who's idea of dressing up

is clean overalls and a fresh pair of sneakers.

(lighthearted music)

Or you're thinking about impressing your co-workers

with that Hollywood producer you had a fling with.

Oh yeah, sure, he'll pull up in his Ferrari, but

then you'll wonder if he'll embarrass you

by name dropping and hitting on other girls.

Fact of the matter is,

the holiday party is an opportunity to sit back,

celebrate with your co-workers,

and enjoy each other's company.

Don't worry about who you're going with,

or who you're going out with.

- [Woman] Five minutes, Mr. Lane!

- Okay, exquis.

- Thanks.

- Oh, Tom? Can I borrow your paper?

I just love Ms. Madison.

- Help yourself. - Thank you.

- [Liz] Just kick back and have a great time

with the people already in your life.

Everything else will fall into place, 'cause

'tis the season for miracles.

(lighthearted music)

(coughing)

- Look what arrived.

- Thank you.

(giggling) Oh my god.

- So, how'd the taping go? - Went great.

Should be hearing back from the network this week.

- Oh good.

Hi. - Hi.

- Morning Vicki. - Morning.

- Morning. - Morning, Mr. Shephard.

- Good morning, sir. - I've been peeking at the

sales report month-to-date,

and the figures show that the Marin County Voice

is at a 20% increase in the last two weeks.

Could that be right? - Yes sir, it is.

- I've been in this business for 35 years,

and I have never, ever seen anything like that.

Two weeks.

That's terrific.

You know, I'm thinking it might be wiser

to keep the Voice independent.

- We're aware of the situation, Mr. Shephard, and--

- You know why I never lose on an investment, Vicki?

- No?

- Because I can sense success, and this is success.

Now, I can either take this and fold it into the Sun,

or I can keep it separate.

It makes no difference to me.

I win either way. - Of course.

- So, what's your plan?

- Sir?

- You said you were aware of the situation,

I'm assuming you're going to take care of it.

Am I wrong?

- Yes. - What?

- I mean, no.

Nick?

- Hmm?

- Your idea.

- My idea?

I'm just a sports writer.

I-- - Your idea.

- Right, my idea.

How about

recipes?

Different recipes for the holidays.

Green beans, mashed potatoes,

roast beef, Yorkshire pudding.

Glazed ham?

Glazed ham, every body like glazed ham, right?

- What else?

- I don't know.

- So.

Independence.

- A counterpoint.

- I'm sorry?

- Well, we hire, we get Tom, our top writer to

do a Christmas column.

You know, a counterpart to theirs.

- Ah, Vicki?

- Outdo the competition using a brand name.

- Well, they have her Christmas, and all we need is,

is his Christmas.

- Yeah, you know, sir-- - I like it.

Carry on.

(somber music) - His and Her Christmas.

Are you out of your mind?

Why me? - Tom.

Every man wants to be you,

every woman wants to hang on your arm.

People want to hear what you have to say.

- Yeah, about politics and art, not about Christmas.

- I am not about to get stuck in the boondocks

running a small-time rag

just because Shephard decided to get sentimental.

- Well, you know, I really hate to say it, Vicki,

but that's your problem.

- Actually, it's both of our problems.

I don't know if you know this or not,

but Shepard isn't going to support your show and the Voice.

- What?

- Either the paper folds, or you don't have a show.

And Shepard told me he's about this close

to pulling the plug.

- Are you serious? - As a heart attack.

- This is outrageous.

- There is a silver lining here, Tom.

You blow her out of the water,

and by the time the network picks up your back nine,

your stock will have gone up,

and you can name your price.

Well?

(suspenseful music)

- You owe me. - Ha.

Well, you can collect any time.

(lighthearted music)

- Sun please.

- [Tom] November 11th, and it's already beginning

to look a lot like Christmas.

A recent column from another newspaper mentioned

that the holidays were a time of togetherness.

Well, I don't know about you,

but I've had just about enough of hearing that

nostalgic Norman Rockwell garbage.

Each year, it seems this ridiculous season

starts earlier and earlier.

I'm convinced that if this trend continues,

we'll be seeing ads for those Christmas compilation CDs

right after Labor Day.

- "It makes me wonder what the Three Wise Men

"would have thought about all of this.

"Would they have bought their frankincense and myrrh

"early to beat the rush,

"or later to take advantage of post-Thanksgiving sales."

- "A recent column from another newspaper"?

- Sounds like we've got a war on our hands.

- What's frankincense?

- Dried tree sap. - Oh.

- How crazy is this?

I mean, the Voice is an integral part of the community.

You can't just replace it with an empty moron like Tom Lane.

What are you looking for, hun?

- I can't find the star.

- Oh, try the attic.

- Okay. - You know what they say.

Imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery.

- Flattery?

There's nothing flattering about this.

He's spitting on everything I care about.

- Think about it, though, it's Tom Lane.

They brought out the big guns to go after you.

You gotta love that.

- Yeah, but, how unoriginal is it?

I mean, you can't think of anything else to write,

so he attacks me, and he takes a stand against Christmas?

I mean, what kind of person

doesn't like Christmas? - Okay.

But I can see how people can feel that the

holidays have gotten lost in the commercialism--

- What? - Or not.

So, fire back.

- What, and actually legitimize it by addressing it?

- Honey, it was the Sun.

It was legitimized the minute the print hit the page.

- Found star.

- Fine.

He wants a war,

I'll give him a war.

- (meowing) Good girl.

- [Liz Voiceover] A fellow journalist,

whom I shall not name, recently defined the Christmas season

by it's commercial implications.

What an incredibly shallow way of viewing

what is one of the most beautiful times of the year.

Perhaps if he got of the fast lane for a minute,

Mr. Lane might realize

that giving isn't about spending money or holiday sales,

but about sharing oneself with friends and loved ones.

(lighthearted music)

- Okay, let's see.

(fast orchestra music)

- "I've been called many things

"over the course of my long and prosperous career,

"opinionated, belligerent, rude and,

"on a great number of occasions, outspoken.

"But until yesterday, no one has ever called me shallow."

- That's my girl.

- "I guess this is what we should expect

"from a bitter small-town girl

"with such little experience in the world."

- That pig.

- "Perhaps what Mr. Lane needs

is a trip to the city's soup kitchen

to see the meals that are provided to the less fortunate

during the holiday season." - Ouch.

- "Even better, perhaps he should join the ranks

"of dozen of less shallow individuals

"who choose to donate their time to causes

"other than themselves."

- You're at war with Mother Teresa.

- Yeah well, Mother Teresa is going down.

- You get her, Scrooge.

- "Coming into the store the other day,

"I was approached by a large gentleman

"in a red suit swinging a bell the size of a mace.

"And you know what I gave him?

"Diddly squat.

"That's right, bupkiss.

"Why do people feel that the people of this city

"owe them money just because they can't hold down a job?

"We already give retailers 70% of the annual profits

"during the holidays.

"I don't see why a third-rate Santa Claus imposter

"feels he deserves any more of my money.

"I work hard for what I make."

- [Liz Voiceover] Many companies rely on the holidays

to meet their sales quota and keep their people employed.

There are other ways to enjoy Christmas.

Go sledding, go skating.

Have a snowball fight with your grandparents.

Turn off the TV and put the video games away.

It's time for some good old-fashioned family fun.

(lighthearted music)

(yelling)

- Ow! - You okay?

(lighthearted music)

(mellow music)

- You know, I think she's fabulous.

- Hon, not helping.

- There's nothing wrong with encouraging some togetherness,

you know?

I think our society could use a lot more of it.

- I think Tom has some issues with family.

- Hey, I do not have issues with family.

- I think you like her.

(scoffs)

- That's ridiculous.

- Then why are you taking it so personally?

- He attacked me.

- I attack you all the time,

you never get this fired up.

- [Donna] She's always liked to fight.

Ever since we were little girls.

- Okay, is anyone gonna take my side here?

- I think your decorations are beautiful.

- Thank you, dear.

- We used to share a room when we were younger.

Mother had to mover her downstairs

because she wouldn't leave me alone.

- Who's starting now?

- I'm merely pointing out a fact.

- Why are you so unwilling to consider a man

as a possibility?

- Maybe I just like being single.

- Maybe you should ask yourself why?

- You know, maybe you should ask your husband here

why he likes being fat.

- Whoa, hey, what's with the F-word?

- Alright, look, he likes being out of shape,

alright, and I like being single.

I mean, that's all there is to it.

- What?

It's not like I looked like Hercules when you first met me.

- Have you seen the men

that she's tried to set me up with these days?

- Look, Christina, appreciate the help,

really, but I do have standards.

- (chortles) You mean playmates.

- That's so shallow, Tom.

- What, you mean it's shallow to like beautiful women?

- Yes.

- I guess I'm shallow.

- Guys, would you please stop worrying about me?

I'll date when I'm ready.

- Can we eat pie now? - Okay.

- I guess I'm shallow, too.

- Oh honey.

- I love you.

Happy Thanksgiving. - Happy Thanksgiving.

- That's just wonderful.

- What time's Jake go to bed?

(chuckling)

(lighthearted music)

(dramatic music)

(lighthearted music)

- Morning. (lighthearted music)

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I got you. - Thanks.

What are you doing here?

- Well, I was just out

for a drive. - Well good,

you can take another one right back over that bridge.

- Come on, don't be like that.

I've come to offer a truce. - Truce?

You slam me in your paper, steal my column,

and now you wanna truce?

- Uh, steal your column, no.

I'm just offering an alternative point of view.

- You know what?

Just go back to the city, Tom Lane.

You're not welcome here.

(lighthearted music)

- No wonder she's single.

- He came to see you? - Yeah.

Can you believe the nerve?

- What did he want?

- Said he wanted a truce.

He must think I'm a complete idiot.

I mean, I know a trap when I see one.

- Was he hot? - Sarah!

This is business. - Don't make me smack you.

Did he look as good as his picture is?

It's airbrushing, it's airbrushing.

- It's not.

- It isn't?

Oh, this is so on. - Would you quit?

Even if he is really good-looking,

it's about all he's got going for himself.

- Why, what's he like?

- (sighs) He's,

he's really a--

- She's a tall firecracker. - Oh, I bet she is.

Can't believe you went to go see her.

- You dog. - You like her, don't you?

- Please!

You see, okay, you're way, way off.

- I bet you she's even hotter in person.

She's got like one of those faces, you know?

Am I right?

- She's all right to look at, I guess.

But she's a total ice queen.

- Like that matters.

(lighthearted music)

(knocking on window)

- Did you find him to be single?

- Sarah.

It wasn't even a conversation.

It was more of an argument.

- Really?

Your first fight.

And you loved it. - Oh, would you stop?

- Come on, look at me.

I can see it in your eyes.

No, really, I can see it in your eyes.

You're showing signs. - Oh, would you stop?

- No, you know I'm right.

We only really, really hate the ones

we really, really wanna jump in the sack with.

- Oh my god, are you kidding me?

He's frustrating, he's

stubborn, he's-- - He's hot.

- So, what, so was Glenn, and look where that got me.

- I'm not putting myself in a position to get hurt again.

Especially not with a guy like this.

- Come on, honey, what could he possibly do to hurt you

that he hasn't already done?

- [Vicki] A tree lighting ceremony?

- The Voice sponsors one every year,

this year they can't afford it.

- Big deal! So, the little town will get its little tree.

- Are you going soft on me?

- All I'm saying is that if another company were to step in

and cover the cost,

it might be an excellent public relations move in that area.

- It would certainly ease the blow of losing

the paper just a little.

- We'd be heroes. - When was it supposed to be?

- Friday.

- Then we'll have to move quickly.

I'm putting you in charge.

- What? No, no no.

That's not what I had in mind.

I just offered up the idea.

- And it's a brilliant one.

It'll go great with your column.

- Vicki, don't do this to me.

- It's done. - Vicki!

- Mr. Shephard, it's Vicki.

Listen,

I just had the most brilliant idea.

(lighthearted music)

(dramatic music)

- Yes. - We have to talk.

- I was just thinking about you.

Gotta listen to this.

"The best way to handle the abundance of gifts

"during the holiday season

"is to open a new credit card with a low introductory rate.

"You'll have up to six months to pay off the card

"before the rate goes up,

"and you can keep your purchases separate

"from your regular account."

This is great stuff.

This is the kind of stuff we could really use.

- Sounds like a MasterCard commercial.

- Oh, come on.

All I'm trying to say is

think about making your column more useful.

Reward your readers for their time.

You have to be a little less Norman Rockwell,

and a little more Rockefeller Center.

- Speaking of Rockefeller Center,

when were you gonna tell me

the Sun was going to be sponsoring

our Christmas tree lighting ceremony?

- Oh, yeah.

You heard about that, huh?

- Heard about it?

He stole my idea.

- What do you mean?

- I saw him yesterday, and he--

- Oh, you and Tom Lane are an item?

- No, no, no, no, we just bumped into each other.

I mean, that's not the point.

- Well what is the point. - The point is

they're trying to exploit our town,

and we can't let them do that.

We need to fight back.

- Actually,

I was hoping you could attend. - Attend?

- Yeah.

- But this was...

This was our event.

- There's no reason why we can't cover it.

I want a front page story on the entire event.

- No way, no, I'm, no, find someone else.

- Ms. Madison, you're letting business get personal.

Listen to me.

Whisper is, Shephard has instructed his staff

that either he'll keep us going, or

he's gonna give Tom Lane that TV show he's been begging for.

- That creep.

God, I knew it. - And

that means this may be one of our last issues.

And no one can write that cover story

like you.

Please.

Take these.

Try to have a good time.

(gentle music)

- I can't believe this.

The Great Tom Lane doesn't have

one original bone in his body.

The thought of that pompous jerk with his hands on my tree,

it's a travesty, is what it is.

It's sacrilege.

- Wait, this is your tree? - Yes.

My tree.

What does the Sun know about this community?

Nothing.

- You know, you're going to awful long lengths here.

- I'm just having some fun.

- Right, so this has nothing to do about Liz?

- What? No, okay.

It's got nothing to do with her.

- No, of course not.

Why would it?

She's just insanely hot.

- [Tom] Hey Dad, looking good.

- Girls love a guy in a Santa hat.

- He's just taking advantage of our moment

of weakness, what they're doing.

They're coming, acting like these big,

big city superheroes, or something like that.

And what, I'm just supposed to put on a happy face

and pretend everything's just wonderful?

Well, it's not, I mean, this is ridiculous.

(sighs heavily)

- So, we don't have to stay long, right?

- Oh no, one hour tops, and we're out of there.

- And then ice cream? - Yes, ice cream.

Big, heaping bowls of it.

- Come here, fix your tie.

- No, I can't do up my top button.

My neck's out of shape.

- Try and be respectable.

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

- Holy cheese ball. - I know, isn't it terrible?

- No, I mean, look at this cheese ball.

It's incredible.

- Fitting.

♪ Troll the ancient yule tide carol ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ See the blazing Yule before us. ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Strike the harp and join the chorus. ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

- Hey, hey, hey, slow down there.

I read your column every day.

- Thank you.

- How come you don't work for the Sun?

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Fast away the old year passes. ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Hail the new year, lads and lasses ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

- Because I have a soul.

Excuse me.

♪ Heedless of the wind and weather. ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-L.A. ♪

♪ The fire's burning slow ♪

♪ It can make the heart go cold ♪

♪ And the tree of lights were trimmed tonight ♪

♪ Forever green and gold ♪

♪ With the sounds of little feet ♪

♪ As they run they call to me ♪

- Thanks.

♪ And they just can't wait ♪

♪ To stay up late ♪

- [Nick] Merry Christmas.

- [Tom] Is that Gary?

- I think so. - Let's go over there.

- Excuse me.

Hey, Gary.

- There you are.

♪ It's Christmas ♪

♪ Merry Christmas ♪

- Well, Santa, have I been naughty or nice?

- Well, I think we both know the answer to that.

- I never realized people got so excited over

a stupid tree.

- [Tom] Yeah, go on, V, you can count on me.

- Sexy hat.

- Told you.

♪ It's Christmas ♪

- Hey there.

- Hi.

- I was kind of hoping I'd run into you again.

- Really?

♪ Filled with laughter and love and lots of good cheer ♪

- I read that little tart's column in the Voice.

- Oh, really?

- Apparently, the holiday season's a time to make amends.

- Is that right?

- And I was thinking,

I feel really bad about

the way I treated you throughout this whole ordeal,

and I've figured out a couple ways

I could make it up to you.

Two are legal. - Yeah, would you excuse me?

- [Man] And I wanted to say I'd join you--

- You are just so funny.

- Can I steal her away for just a second?

- You know what, actually

We're actually kind of in the middle of something here.

- You see that blond sitting over there

with the long legs, the dress?

She was just asking about you.

- Which one, that one?

Excuse me.

- I have to admit, stealing my event was pretty smooth.

Apparently, nothing's too low for you.

- You know, I hate to burst your bubble,

but you really didn't invent the concept

of the Christmas tree lighting.

- Oh, no, but this just so happens

to be the same event that I told you about.

- What does it matter where the Christmas tree comes from?

Why can't you just be happy for the town?

- Don't give me that be happy with the town crap.

You couldn't care if this place burned to the ground.

- That's a terrible thing to say.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm just trying to help?

- Ha!

Don't think I'm not onto you, buddy.

Trying to sabotage the newspaper for that,

so you could stroke

that giant ego of yours with that stupid,

that TV show?

Oh yeah, yeah, I know all about that.

Let me tell you something.

You can put a lot of people out of work,

good people.

You're ending a 70-year tradition, and for what?

Silly little TV show that nobody wants to watch anyway.

- You know what, this is getting personal.

- That's right, this is getting personal, it is personal.

(arguing)

How can you tell me to relax

when you are here exploiting my passion

with your own personal gain?

The problem with you

is you don't understand the first meaning of this holiday.

That's a problem.

- You know what, that's not true.,I do understand.

I just don't give a rat's ass.

- Well, you keep telling yourself that

when you're home alone eating

Kentucky Fried Chicken watching football

on Christmas-- - Good evening.

Can I have your attention please.

- You think you're so high and mighty, don't you?

With your fancy little apartment,

your fancy little billboards.

You don't fool me, Tom Lane,

you're just a scared little boy

who's afraid of being alone.

- You know what, you don't know anything about me.

- Thank you, thank you very much.

- You couldn't stand the fact that someone other than you

is actually having some success.

You had to come out here

and put your little Tom Lane fingerprints all over it.

- You know what?

Since you're being such a good sport,

when the Sun takes over office,

I'm gonna get them to let you keep writing the column.

How's every second Sunday sound?

- You dirt!

(glass breaking) (screaming)

(camera shutters clicking)

(mellow music)

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

So funny.

Guys.

Real mature.

- You guys make a hot couple. - Yeah.

- Who did this?

- I'll never tell.

But you get two guesses

to who bought you these.

- [Tom] To Liz, you finally beat me to the punch.

Sincerely, Tom.

- Jerk.

- Jerk? Are you kidding?

They're gorgeous.

- Well, enjoy them.

- You're insane. - Sarah,

don't you see what he's doing?

He's

taunting me.

- You're more in love than I thought you were.

- If I never saw him again, it'll be soon enough for me.

- Really?

- Really? - Really.

- Why are you blushing?

- The punch.

- You need some water.

- You sent her flowers?

- I wanted to rub it in a little.

(Nick laughing) What?

- Oh, you are so into her.

- Well, it does sound like subconsciously

he's trying to tell you something.

- Yeah, he was.

He's saying thanks for pushing me into the punch.

- Now, I know the divorce was tough,

but it's time for you to be honest with yourself.

The guy likes you.

- You keep saying. - That's because it's true.

No really, what's so horrible about this guy.

- He's arrogant, self-centered, dishonest,

always focuses on the negative.

- Successful, charming, rich. - Oh please.

- I know divorce does things to people,

but mom and dad would have wanted you

to move on with your life.

Let's be honest here, Lizzie.

This guy really likes you.

(mellow music)

- There.

Now you got a tree.

- I didn't want a tree.

- You're welcome.

- How come you don't bring that girl over any more?

The one with the accent?

- Dad, I told you, we broke up.

- Too bad, she was a good-looking girl.

- Here, I'll get it. - Okay.

Did I ever tell you about

how much your mother loved Christmas?

- No.

- She loved everything about this time of year.

Not me, though, I couldn't stand it.

Still can't.

Couple of stubborn mules we were.

Nothing was ever easy.

- What are you doing for Christmas, Pop?

- I thought I'd get a bucket of chicken

from around the corner,

and watch the game.

You wanna come over?

Too busy, I guess.

- No, no, no, I'll-- - Busy.

- No, Pop. I'll come.

I'll come by.

- Good.

(mellow music)

- Wanna get some ice cream with Mommy?

Do you want some ice cream?

(dramatic music)

(phone ringing)

- Hello. - Hi, this is Vicki.

Have you eaten?

- Vicki?

(cat meows)

(dramatic music)

- Hey. (dramatic music)

- So, the set looks amazing.

It says Tom Lane in giant letters.

It's like a shrine to you.

Oh, and I had them bring in the most beautiful,

amazing flower arrangement.

- [Donna] Okay, now remember, no pizza.

I want your homework done in two hours.

- I love you. - Okay, thank you honey so much, I appreciate it.

- No problem. - I won't be late, I promise.

Just a couple hours. - Okay. Have fun.

- Be good. - Okay, we will.

- [Jacqui] How long is the shopping gonna take?

- [Liz] Not long.

You can get everything you need at Walgreens.

Of course, we can't talk about the holidays

without talking about relationships.

Christmas is a painful time to be alone.

The bare space under the tree, the empty mailbox.

It's easy to start believing that no one really cares.

- [Tom Voiceover] It's true that depression rates rise

around the holidays.

How could they not,

when single people are constantly bombarded

by images of happy families

and loving couples celebrating together.

So, what do you do if you find yourself alone

during the holiday season?

Where are the Christmas carols for those people?

- [Liz Voiceover] This is my first

Christmas since my divorce, and I'm still realizing that

no amount of holiday cheer

is gonna mask the emptiness I feel in my heart.

They say this time of year is perfect

for finding other people looking for relationships.

They lied.

(dramatic music)

- [Tom Voiceover] I thought maybe

if I bought into the season, it might help.

But as a wise woman once said, it's not about symbols,

it's about togetherness.

- You're cleaning out your office today, huh?

- Yeah.

- Are you gonna be alright?

- I'll live.

Maybe I'll become an English teacher or something like that.

What do you think?

- Probably not.

That's pretty much Tom Lane territory.

Why don't you call him?

- It's complicated.

- No it's not.

Pick up the thing with this hand,

and dial with the other hand.

- You're gonna be late.

(mellow music)

- Nothing's ever easy with you people.

- Get out of here.

See you later. - Bye. - Bye.

(dramatic music)

- I'm thinking that the musicians

would help provide a sounding board

for some of Tom's Thoughts and Ideas.

Like Max Weinberg, but only with a brain.

What do you think?

- Sounds good. - Good.

And the furniture.

You didn't me your preference: maple or oak?

Hello? Maple or oak?

- Sounds good, Vicki.

- What, what? What are you doing?

Are you okay?

I mean, I need you here with me.

- You know what, I can't do this right now.

- What do you mean you can't do this.

This promo's important.

- Look Vicki, if this show is coming

at the expense of the Voice, I'm,

I'm out.

- You can't be serious. - I'm, sorry.

I just can't have it on my conscience.

- Since when do you have a conscience?

Okay, I'm sorry.

You know what, I didn't mean it.

- Doesn't matter, Vicki.

- This is a huge opportunity for you.

- You mean, for you. - Okay, fine, for both of us.

You can't just throw that away.

This is about her, isn't it?

(somber music)

- You did the best you could, Liz.

They would be out of their minds

to let go of a writer like you.

- Thanks, Mr. Billingsley.

(somber music)

- I'm going to Wendy's to apply for a job.

Anyone want anything?

(mellow music)

- Where are you?

Hi.

- Hi.

- What are you doing here?

Aren't you supposed to be taping your big show?

- I left.

- Won't they be angry?

- I don't care.

I told them that if it's coming at the price of the Voice,

it's a

price I'm not willing to pay.

- But I thought that was

your big ticket to fame and fortune.

- Yes, well, there are

other things that are more important.

- Hi.

- You wanna go for a walk?

- Yeah, yeah.

(lighthearted music)

- [Liz] So, I've been reading your column.

- Oh yeah? - Mm-hmm.

You don't know a thing about relationships.

- Well, you see, that's what I've been telling you.

- You're a good writer, though.

- Thanks, you know, you're not so bad yourself.

- Thanks.

How's Vicki?

- Vicki?

You don't think her and I--

- Well, it certainly appeared that way at the party.

- Oh.

Hey,

you know when I was writing my column,

my only intention was to drive you nuts.

- Yeah, I kind of had a feeling.

- Do you think an optimistic girl and a

pragmatic guy could ever make it work?

- Well,

being an optimist, I'm inclined to say yes.

- I was hoping you were gonna say that.

(dramatic music)

You wanna do that for a while?

- Come here.

(romantic music)

- Now, as some of you may know

when I first made the deal to acquire the Voice,

I pretty much decided that I was gonna shut it down

and fold it into the Sun.

It was about branding.

About gaining a foothold in a small community.

It was just business.

Hey Tom.

But after speaking to Tom here,

I realized that we were breaking up a family.

A family of very talented writers who were

inseparable from the town they represent.

Now, would I save money if I had stuck to the plan

and did what I was going to?

Probably.

Would the stockholders prefer it?

You bet.

But while I'm a man who knows how to bargain,

I also know value when I see it.

So,

I've decided to keep the Voice going.

(everyone cheering)

- Come on, let's celebrate.

(lighthearted music)

- [Liz Voiceover] A friend of mine once told me

I had to stop treating men like communicable diseases.

Looking back, I realize I may have made things

tougher than they had to be.

But let's face it.

Love-- - Is a lot of work.

When you're a bachelor, everything is so simple.

You eat what you want to.

You watch what you want to.

You go to bed when you want to.

But in a relationship-- - It's about compromise.

Whatever your differences may be,

it's about setting them aside

and finding a way to work things out, because

as good as it feels to be successful in what you do--

- [Tom] Nothing compares to the feeling of

being with someone you love.

Someone who understands and acknowledges you.

Someone who appreciates everything we do.

- [Liz Voiceover] I know sometimes

things don't go our way,

and it's hard to hold on to the belief that one day

the right person will come along.

But hang in there.

Miracles do happen.

- Hey, what is this? You like it?

Hey, we got one more present.

You ready? - You ready?

- Okay. - One, two

three! - Three!

Merry Christmas, Jake.

- It's a dinosaur!

(cheering)

- Merry Christmas, yay!

(people chatting)

- Come on, Jacqui.

Let's eat.

- [Donna] Alright.

Wanna toast?

- We are going to have a toast.

Glasses are charged.

Here's to good health, lovely companionship.

A nice warm Merry Christmas to all.

- Cheers. - Merry Christmas.

(glasses clanking)

(mellow music)

(upbeat music)

♪ Extra, extra, read all about it ♪

♪ Extra, extra, no doubt about it ♪

♪ Girl meets boy ♪

♪ Boy meets girl ♪

♪ Gotta shout it, gotta spout it ♪

♪ This Christmas with the biggest story breaking ♪

♪ The season's greatest scoop is in the making ♪

♪ It's the front page spread, the big op-ed ♪

♪ Tabloid talk, he said, she said ♪

♪ What a headline, take this down ♪

♪ I love you ♪

♪ Only want two things for Christmas ♪

♪ And they're not beneath the tree ♪

♪ All I want from you is you and ♪

♪ Me ♪