Original subtitles

HERE. WHAT'S THIS?

I'M ON A LIQUID DIET. RIGHT ON.

PEOPLE!

OPERATION SMASH AND SNATCH.

AS MOST OF YOU ARE NO DOUBT AWARE,

WE'VE HAD A SERIOUS OUTBREAK OF VEHICULAR PURSE-SNATCHING...

VISITED UPON LADIES DRIVING THROUGH THE

McKINLEY PROJECTS VICINITY THESE PAST WEEKS.

DUE TO A SHORTAGE OF FEMALE DECOYS, THE LESS HEFTY AND BEARDED OF YOU...

WILL FIND, AT YOUR LOCKERS, A VARIED SELECTION...

OF WIGS, DRESSES AND APPROPRIATE FOUNDATION GARMENTS.

BRADY, LYLE, ALLBRIGHT, KNOX, PETERSON, LaRUE.

WHAT? FURTHER DETAILS TO BE INCLUDED...

IN LIEUTENANT CALLETANO'S BRIEFING...

IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING YOUR POST-HASTE WARDROBE CHANGE.

ITEM 10 IS A, UH,

PRECINCT-WIDE MEMO FROM CAPTAIN FURILLO CONCERNING ENTRAPMENTS.

MESSIEURS ET MAM'SELLES...

HAVING POUNDED SOME PAVEMENT IN MY DAY,

I CAN WELL UNDERSTAND A CERTAIN PROFESSIONAL ZEAL, AS IT WERE,

VIS-À-VIS BATTING AVERAGES AND THE SQUAD ROOM ARREST POOL.

BUT, UH, LET US BE MINDFUL OF THE JUDICIAL CLIMATE OUT THERE.

THESE COLLARS DON'T DO ANY OF US ANY GOOD LANGUISHING IN THE D.A.'S LAME BEEF FILE.

I WOULD PARTICULARLY RECOMMEND THIS CAUTION TO A CERTAIN FEMALE VICE OFFICER...

SEEN LOITERING OUTSIDE THE BUS TERMINAL

MEN'S ROOM IN A "LOVE ME, I'M SICK" T-SHIRT.

FINALLY, FOR THOSE OF YOU INTERESTED...

IN THE 10th ANNUAL INTER-DEPARTMENTAL GRAND TOURNEY POKER FINALS,

AS OF 4:00 THIS MORNING, AFTER 12 HOURS OF

SPIRITED PLAY AT AN UNNAMED DOWNTOWN HOTEL,

THE TALLY STANDS...

MIDTOWN DOWN 80, WEST DELAVAN UP 60,

SOUTH PARK DOWN 20... OKAY.

HILL STREET DOWN 140.

OF COURSE, A LOT CAN CHANGE IN THREE AND A HALF HOURS, PEOPLE.

THOSE OF YOU DESIRING MORE CURRENT STANDINGS...

MAY DIRECT DIAL KLONDIKE 5-4461.

HOLD IT! REALIZING FULL WELL THAT MANY OF YOU, AS I,

HAVE A CONSIDERABLE MONETARY INTEREST IN THIS COMPETITION,

LET US, NEVERTHELESS, SHOW A MODICUM OF DISCRETION...

AND KEEP THE PRECINCT PHONES CLEAR FOR SOMEWHAT MORE...

SANCTIONED BUSINESS, SHALL WE?

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT. LET'S ROLL. AND, HEY!

LET'S BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.

I'LL GET IT NOW. I'LL GET IT NOW.

GET OUT OF MY WAY, HAIRBALLS. GIVE ME THE PHONE.

WHAT? I GOT NEARLY A TWO PERCENT INTEREST IN THIS CLAMBAKE.

WHAT ROOM ARE THEY IN? 406.

ANY OF YOU GIRLS WANNA GO OUT WITH A MEMBER OF THE SANITATION DEPARTMENT?

BELKER, DOGBREATH. WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT US BEING 140 IN THE HOLE?

HEY, HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GONNA CALL? WAIT A MINUTE.

WILL YOU JUST RELAX, MICK? THAT WAS FOUR HOURS AGO. TAKE A GUESS.

I DON'T GUESS. JUST GIVE ME THE NUMBERS, WILL YA?

WE'RE UP 500.

READ 'EM AND WEEP.

DISPATCH. WE HAVE A 9-11.

ARMED ROBBERY IN PROGRESS.

SEE SURPLUS STORE, CORNER PEOPLE'S DRIVE, 124th STREET.

A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PAPER-SHUFFLING

COMES WITH THE TERRITORY, FRANK,

BUT, I MEAN, THERE ARE COMPUTERS DOWNTOWN GETTING MORE JOB SATISFACTION THAN I AM...

SOUNDS AS IF THIS IS BUILDING TO SOMETHING, HENRY.

YOU KNOW THAT SMASH AND SNATCH OPERATION RAY'S RUNNING TODAY?

COME ON, FRANK, THEY CAN USE AN EXTRA HAND.

LAST TIME YOU WENT OUT UNDERCOVER YOU ENDED UP GETTING BOOTED OUT OF THE HOUSE...

AND SLEEPING ON MY COUCH FOR THREE NIGHTS.

SIZE 14, HENRY.

DON'T WORRY, FRANK, I THINK MY MARRIAGE IS SAFE IN THIS.

THIS IS IT, SON. FEAR, LONELINESS, DESPAIR.

VOICES SCREAMING IN THE NIGHT. PRISON.

OFFICER, I'VE GOT ONE FOR BOOKING HERE.

I HOPE THE RATS IN THE HOLDING CELLS HAVE BEEN FED TODAY.

MICK! PARTNER. ¿QUÉ PASA?

DIDN'T I TELL YOU A THOUSAND TIMES TO STAY OUT OF HERE?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM?

I CAUGHT THE YOUNG LAD SPRAY-PAINTING A SCHOOL, MICK.

I THOUGHT I'D BRING HIM IN, GIVE HIM THE OLD

SCARE TREATMENT, AND THEN KICK HIM LOOSE.

IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. ARE YOU KIDDING?

THIS DIRTBAG HAS 20 PRIORS. ONE FOR ASSAULT.

PEOPLE DON'T SCARE HIM. HE SCARES PEOPLE.

MY BROTHER WAS A LOT LIKE THAT.

WE FINALLY HAD TO TIE HIM DOWN AND RUN AN OCEAN THROUGH HIS HEAD.

HE'S BETTER NOW. CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?

WHAT, DID YOUR MOTHER THROW YOUR BRAINS OUT WITH THE BATH WATER?

WHAT... KEEP TALKING, PIG, AND GET A SHIV IN YOUR WHITEWALLS.

THE CAPTAIN'S MY FRIEND. I THINK I'M GETTING THROUGH TO HIM, MICK.

HE'S GONNA TAKE ME ON A FIELD TRIP TO VENUS.

AFTER LABOR DAY. LOOK, BOBBY, IT'S THE OZONE BROTHERS.

OHH...

EXCUSE ME, RAY, BUT UNLESS YOU WANT TO HEAR...

THE MOST DISGUSTING REVELATIONS...

ABOUT THIS MAN'S OFF-DUTY PERSONA, I'D LEAVE.

I'LL CALL YOU RIGHT BACK.

EXCUSE ME, MRS. FURILLO.

I FOUND THIS...

IN FRANK JR.'S TANK TOY COMMANDER SET.

ACCORDING TO HIM, IT'S A MEMENTO FROM LAST WEEKEND AT YOUR PLACE.

UH... WHAT KIND OF A MAN INVITES HIS SON OVER FOR THE WEEKEND...

AND THEN ALLOWS HIM TO GET A LOOK AT HIS FATHER MAKING LOVE TO HIS COOKIE?

NOBODY ALLOWED ANYTHING. HE LET HIMSELF INTO THE APARTMENT.

WITH THE KEY THAT YOU GAVE HIM.

WELL, IF YOU HADN'T BROUGHT HIM BY AN HOUR AND A HALF BEFORE YOU SAID YOU WOULD,

HE WOULDN'T HAVE SEEN ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE.

THESE THINGS HAPPEN ALL THE TIME. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

I THINK WE'RE TALKING IRREVERSIBLE TRAUMA, FRANK.

WELL, I FAIL TO SEE WHAT'S SO FUNNY, MISTER.

OH, I'M SORRY. I'M NOT LAUGHING AT YOU.

IT'S JUST... IT'S-IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU'RE FINALLY GETTING OVER HAL'S DEATH.

DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUR SON'S EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING HERE, NOT MINE.

LOOK, IF YOU DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT, IT'LL JUST GO AWAY.

OH, SURE.

SO WHAT IF HE BECOMES JUST ONE MORE SELF-CENTERED MALE...

WHO THINK WOMEN EXIST FOR JUST ONE PURPOSE.

I BET SHE HASN'T EVEN MISSED IT.

REMEMBER, YOU ARE THE HOPE OF AMERICA.

IN YOUR HANDS RESIDES THE POWER THAT WILL ULTIMATELY LIFT HUMANKIND TO THE STARS.

EXCUSE ME. IT'S YOU!

4000 B.C. THE PRINCESS ZUMA, DAUGHTER OF PHARAOH AMENHOTEP,

WHOSE LIKENESS GRACES THE WALL OF THE GREAT TEMPLE AT AMON.

EXCUSE ME... THE LIPS, THE EYES, THE REGAL SLOPE OF THE NOSE...

THE SHEER, OVERWHELMING MAJESTY OF YOUR BEAUTY.

THEY TAUNTED YOU, A WOMAN OF UNCOMMON INTELLIGENCE, A FREE SPIRIT.

THEY DID NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR SENSITIVITY...

OR THE FIERY COMPASSION THAT RAGED WITHIN YOU.

YOU VOWED THAT YOU WOULD RETURN,

AND NOW YOU'RE BACK, O PRINCESS OF THE NILE!

UM, COULD YOU LET GO OF MY HANDS?

I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG PERSON.

YOU'RE RIGHT. THE LIGHT'S BAD IN HERE. MY MISTAKE.

RAY, I HAVE TO GRAB A COUPLE OF YOUR MEN.

FRANK, I'M ALREADY SHORTHANDED AS IT IS. WHAT CAN I TELL YOU?

LaRUE, WASHINGTON. GOT A PRESCRIPTION FRAUD CALL ABOUT 20 MINUTES AGO.

X-CEL PHARMACY DOWN ON ELMWOOD AND NORTH. SORRY, RAY.

OH, GOD. CAPTAIN, THANKS A MILLION. THANKS A MILLION.

OKAY.

FRANK?

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? SURE, ART, COME ON IN.

I KNOW HOW BUSY YOU ARE. NO, IT'S OKAY.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR ME.

BUT I DON'T SEE YOU TAKING THE HEAT FOR ME FROM THE SULLIVAN COMMISSION.

THERE'S NO HEAT, ART. THEIR INVESTIGATION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

I WISH I COULD BELIEVE THAT, FRANK.

I WAS SUBPOENAED TWO HOURS AGO.

WHEN DO THEY WANT YOU?

FRIDAY, AT 3:00.

I'M NOT READY FOR THIS.

FRANK, I CAN'T SIT IN A ROOM WITH THREE OR FOUR PEOPLE WITHOUT GETTING THE SHAKES.

I'LL LOSE IT IN FRONT OF THE GRAND JURY.

TAKE IT EASY. JUST TRY NOT TO WORRY.

YOU HAVE A SEAT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OTHER THAN STONEWALLING, WHICH I DOUBT HE'S CAPABLE OF,

DELGADO'S GOT TWO CHOICES, FRANK.

HE CAN EITHER REFUSE TO APPEAR, IN WHICH CASE HE'LL BE HELD IN CONTEMPT,

OR HE CAN PLEAD DELAY OF APPEARANCE ON ACCOUNT OF MEDICAL GROUNDS.

THAT WOULDN'T BE TOO FAR FROM THE TRUTH.

AFTER 19 YEARS ON THE HILL, THE MAN'S A WALKING BREAKDOWN.

I'D CALL HIS DOCTOR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND HAVE YOUR MAN ADMITTED TO COUNTY...

FOR OBSERVATION FOR A WEEK OR TWO.

SULLIVAN OUGHT TO BE OUT OF BUSINESS BY THEN.

I OWE YOU ONE.

IN THAT CASE I'LL LET YOU TREAT ME TO A HOT LUNCH...

BEFORE YOU TANGLE WITH THAT JURY THIS AFTERNOON. JUST SAY WHEN.

THEY HAVE A LOVELY DINING ROOM AT THE HOTEL FRANÇOISE.

-00?

OH. I JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW, FRANCIS, WE'RE UP 1,250.

REFRESH MY MEMORY, PHIL.

THE 10th ANNUAL INTER-DEPARTMENTAL POKER FINALS.

PHIL, IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, THIS ENTIRE PRECINCT...

IS UP TO ITS EARS IN A GRAND JURY INVESTIGATION.

IN DEFERENCE TO WHICH, I'VE ASKED THE MEN TO MOVE IT OUT OF THE STATION THIS YEAR...

TO A HOTEL OVER ON... DON'T TELL ME. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

WHO'S PLAYING FOR OUR SIDE? BATES. LUCY BATES.

BATES? UH-HUH.

JUDAS H. PRIEST. OH, NON, NON, NON, MON AMI.

CETTE FEMME EST UNE "GAMBLER" FORMIDABLE.

DOGGONE IT, WEBSTER!

I KNOW MORPHINE ADDICTS THAT CAN TYPE FASTER THAN THAT. MOVE OVER.

NOW, YOU SEE? TWO HANDS, WEBSTER.

TEN FINGERS. RHYTHM, FOCUS, DEXTERITY.

RIGHT, I'LL HAVE IT READY FOR YOU.

HEY, LaRUE, HE JUST CALLED.

HE'LL BE A LITTLE LATE. YOU GUYS SEE ANYTHING YOU WANT, POLICE DISCOUNT'S 20%.

NO KIDDING?

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE SMELLS WOMEN LOVE, NEAL.

YOU SEE THIS STUFF HERE? THIS IS A LITTLE-KNOWN,

BUT HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PRODUCT THAT SIMULATES THE SCENT OF A MALE'S SWEAT.

AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU SMELLED THAT WAY NATURALLY. YOU THINK I'M JIVING.

WOMEN GO CRAZY. HEY. WATCH.

EXCUSE ME. MISS,

MY PARTNER AND I ARE POLICE OFFICERS, AND I WAS JUST...

OH, PLEASE DON'T ARREST ME. I'M SEEING A PSYCHIATRIST.

I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. LOOK, I'LL JUST...

I'LL JUST PUT EVERYTHING BACK.

AND I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, I SWEAR.

SIR? I'M LOOKING FOR MS. DAVENPORT.

OH, CAPTAIN FURILLO, MS. DAVENPORT CAN'T MAKE LUNCH TODAY,

BUT SHE WANTED ME TO GIVE YOU THIS NOTE.

YOU SURE HAVE A GREAT WAY OF PREPARING YOUR

CLIENTS FOR THEIR COURT APPEARANCES, COUNSELOR.

I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED TO RELAX A LITTLE. HUNGRY?

- NO. - YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR STRENGTH UP.

EAT.

YOU KNOW, THE SULLIVAN COMMISSION CAN'T DO A THING TO YOU.

NOW, LISTEN TO ME. THEY CAN'T ARREST YOU, OR CHARGE YOU OR DISCIPLINE YOU.

ALL THEY CAN DO IS RECOMMEND. SO WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERING YOU?

OH, THEY'RE SO DAMN SANCTIMONIOUS, SITTING UP THERE IN THE STATE CAPITAL...

BUYING THREE-MARTINI LUNCHES WITH MY TAX DOLLARS AND TELLING ME ABOUT CORRUPTION.

THEY HAVEN'T A CLUE HOW TOUGH IT IS DOWN HERE. MMM.

SORRY, NO SALE. TRY AGAIN.

YOU'RE SO SMUG, YOU TELL ME.

YOU'RE AFRAID THAT AFTER 16 YEARS OF BEING MR. PERFECT,

THEY'LL ALL SUDDENLY THINK YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER CROOKED COP.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE KNOWN AS ANOTHER GEORGE HALUSKA.

- WHAT'S SO TERRIBLE ABOUT THAT? - YOU TELL ME.

IS HE A LOUSY COP? DOES HE RUN A LOUSY PRECINCT?

IS THE CRIME IN SOUTH FERRY WORSE THAN IT IS ON THE HILL?

HIS COPS ARE ON THE TAKE. AND NONE OF YOURS ARE.

NOT TO MY KNOWLEDGE. AND CERTAINLY NOT WITH MY BLESSING.

YOU CAN'T WORK IN GARBAGE FOR 20 YEARS

WITHOUT OCCASIONALLY GETTING YOUR HANDS DIRTY.

MY HANDS AREN'T DIRTY. ISN'T IT TRUE...

THAT YOU ARE KNOWINGLY FALSIFYING ARREST RECORDS,

DUTY ROSTERS AND PAY VOUCHERS FOR OFFICER ARTHUR DELGADO?

COME ON.

THE MAN'S A WALKING CASUALTY. YOU'D DO THE SAME UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

I'M NOT SO SURE.

AND WHAT REALLY TROUBLES ME IS YOUR BELIEF

THAT YOU SOMEHOW HAVE A RIGHT TO FUNCTION...

UNDER A DIFFERENT SET OF RULES, BECAUSE YOU

HAVE AN ABSOLUTE CORNER ON THE MORALITY MARKET.

A DANGEROUS ASSUMPTION, FURILLO, SANCTIMONIOUS-WISE.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT'S YOUR BEST LEGAL ADVICE, COUNSELOR?

I'D GO IN THERE LOADED WITH AS MUCH INFORMATION AS I COULD MUSTER.

TELL THEM ABOUT ART DELGADO.

TELL THEM ABOUT THE BUILDING AND CODE INSPECTORS IN SOUTH FERRY.

AND IF YOU HAVE TO, GIVE THEM GEORGE HALUSKA.

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, CHIEF DANIELS WILL.

YOU'RE TOUGH. MM-HMM.

BUT YOU GIVE GOOD SUCCOR. WATCH IT.

DO YOU HAVE TO BE BACK RIGHT AWAY?

WHY, WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND? AID OF ANOTHER TYPE.

I'LL HAVE TWO BREAST OF CHICKEN, TWO SALAD PLATES,

TWO ORDERS OF ICE CREAM, TWO MORE BEERS AND SOME POTATO CHIPS.

YES, SIR. MICK, COUPLE OF BEERS. COUPLE OF BEERS.

COUPLE OF BEERS, TWO BURGERS... HOW WE DOING ON THAT POKER GAME?

GOING GOOD. LAST TIME I HEARD, WE WERE UP NEARLY A GRAND.

ALL RIGHT. YEAH!

YOU WORK HERE? YEAH.

DUNELLO, HEALTH INSPECTOR. BACK THERE.

THANK YOU.

WE GOT AN INSECT INFESTATION INSPECTION IN PROGRESS.

- YEAH, RIGHT. - GOT IT.

SIR, THINGS LIKE THAT, YOU HAVE TO MAKE SOME... HELL OF A BUSINESS HERE, KID.

I WAS IN YOUR LAVATORY. IT'S A MESS.

AMONG OTHER THINGS, YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR REGULATION HEALTH DEPARTMENT SIGN,

REQUIRING YOUR EMPLOYEES TO WASH THEIR HANDS, WHICH IS NO BIG SURPRISE,

BECAUSE YOU ALSO GOT NO RUNNING WATER.

WELL, YOU KNOW THE PIPES BURST IN THIS PLACE LAST NIGHT, SO...

WHAT ARE THEY... WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO, WASH UP IN THE TOILET?

ALSO, YOU GOT SIGNS OF MARGINAL INFESTATION ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I REALLY OUGHT TO SHUT YOU DOWN. HEY, LOOK AT THAT.

WHAT? ROACHES. RIGHT ABOVE YOUR GRIDDLE. THERE!

NOW, LISTEN TO ME. I NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH

IT'S GONNA COST US TO KEEP THIS PLACE OPEN.

WELL, WE'RE LOOKING AT A HUNDRED TODAY, WITH A REGULAR INSPECTION EVERY TUESDAY.

I CAN'T PAY THAT. LOOK AT MY HELP. I CAN'T PAY THAT!

HOLD IT!

HOLD IT!

HELP ME! I'M A POLICE OFFICER!

ALL RIGHT, YOU...

HOW YA DOING? FINE.

- GOT THE PRESCRIPTION? I CALLED. - COMING RIGHT UP.

14.63'S THE DAMAGE. OUT OF 20.

- - THANKS. TAKE CARE NOW.

YOU TOO.

HEY, YO! HEY, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MY MAN. POLICE OFFICERS.

HEY. YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.

IF YOU GIVE UP THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT... WHAT'S GOIN' ON? I'M A COP!

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GO INTO MY POCKET VERY SLOWLY, GET MY I.D.

NOTHING MORE. OKAY?

I'M ON SPECIAL INVESTIGATION OUT OF MIDTOWN, UNDER CAPTAIN JERRY FUCHS.

WE'RE INVESTIGATING DRUGGISTS WHO FILL OUT A PRESCRIPTION SCRIBBLED ON TOILET PAPER.

NOW, THIS GUY IN HERE JUST SOLD ME...

200 AMPHETAMINE PILLS WRITTEN ON A PRESCRIPTION PAD...

WE GOT OUT OF THE EVIDENCE BIN... THE DOCTOR HAS BEEN DEAD FOR SIX MONTHS.

FIGURES. THE GUY THERE CALLED US ABOUT YOU.

SAID IT WAS YOUR THIRD PRESCRIPTION THIS MONTH. THAT'S FUNNY.

I GUESS I CAN SCRATCH HIM OFF MY LIST, HUH?

WE'RE DOING ABOUT 20 PHARMACIES.

- WHO'S YOUR LIEUTENANT? - MOE JACOBS. YOU KNOW HIM?

YEAH. GOOD GUY. SO WHY DON'T YOU CHECK IT OUT WITH HIM, IF YOU WANT?

NO. THAT'S COOL. WHAT WE GOT HERE IS A CLASSIC CASE OF...

THE LEFT HAND NOT KNOWING WHAT THE RIGHT ONE'S DOING. TYPICAL.

WELL, LOOK, IF YOU GUYS DON'T MIND... HEY. HEY, LOOK.

SORRY WE JUMPED YOU, HUH? FORGET IT.

HENRY, DID YOU GET HIT BY A TRUCK?

I'M TELLING YOU, PHIL.

YOU LIKE TO THINK YOUR FELLOW MAN SHARES YOUR REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE.

BUT THEN YOU GET INVOLVED IN A BRAWL OUT THERE, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT,

WHERE YOU'RE LITERALLY FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE, AND WHAT HAPPENS?

NO ONE HELPS YOU. I'M DRESSED LIKE A WOMAN, NO ONE LIFTS A FINGER.

I I.D.'d MYSELF AS A POLICE OFFICER, NO ONE HELPS.

WHAT KIND OF A WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN, PHIL?

IT'S A SAD COMMENTARY. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

PHIL, WOULD YOU BOOK THIS PIECE OF DIRT FOR ME? OH, GOOD IDEA.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU GET YOURSELF CLEANED UP?

I'LL GET SOMEBODY TO TAKE YOU TO EMERGENCY.

I'LL CLEAN THE BLOOD. I'M GONNA GET A CUP OF COFFEE.

HENRY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I'M FINE, FRANK. IN FACT, I'M DAMN FINE.

I DON'T THINK OF MYSELF AS A VIOLENT MAN, BUT IT SURE IS NICE TO KNOW...

I CAN STILL GO 10 ROUNDS WHEN I HAVE TO.

WELL, I SUGGEST YOU CLIMB OUT OF THAT DRESS, SUGAR RAY,

AND GET YOURSELF OVER TO COUNTY GENERAL.

YOU NEED STITCHES. NOT TO WORRY, FRANK. BOY, DO I FEEL PUMPED.

JOE COFFEY THERE?

- YEAH, COFFEY HERE. WHAT? - HOW'S IT GOING, MAN?

SHE'S GOT KINGS FULL OVER NINES. I GOTTA GO.

I DON'T KNOW. HE SAID IT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR TWO MONTHS, OR SOMETHING.

SURE ABOUT THAT? OKAY, THANKS, BABE. APPRECIATE IT.

WHAT?

NARCOTICS AIN'T RUNNING NOTHING ON DRUGGISTS.

CLEARY'S SUPPOSED TO BE ON HARBOR PATROL.

I DON'T LIKE IT, MAN. MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T GET INVOLVED.

WHAT DO YOU SAY? I THINK WE GOT TO, BABE.

MAYBE HE'S SELLING, MAYBE HE'S USING. EITHER WAY, THE PRESCRIPTIONS ARE FORGED.

MAYBE IF I TALKED TO HIM, CAPTAIN. I'VE BEEN THERE.

IF HE WERE ONE OF OUR OWN, J.D., MAYBE. BUT HE'S NOT.

BRING HIM IN. RIGHT, CAPTAIN. COME ON, LOVER, LET'S GO.

I'VE HAD IT. YOU CAN FINISH THIS HAND WITHOUT ME.

COME ON, GREBEY, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? YOU GONNA CALL, OR WHAT?

- I'M THINKING. - YEAH, WELL, I'D LIKE TO GO HOME SOMETIME.

SO GO. WHO SAYS SHE NEEDS ANGELO DUNDEE? ALL RIGHT.

I GUESS I'LL CALL,

AND, UH, TELL YOU WHAT...

LET'S THROW IN ANOTHER 500, JUST TO MAKE IT INTERESTING.

WHAT? THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT "GUTS," BLONDIE.

CALL OR FOLD.

HE'S BLUFFING.

CALL. LET'S SEE 'EM.

UNBELIEVABLE.

FOUR DEUCES.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I'M GONNA BE SICK.

YOU'RE GOOD, KID. BUT I'M BETTER.

EDDY NEED A RIDE? YEAH. YEAH.

LET'S GO. LUNCH IS ON ME.

HOW'D WE MAKE OUT?

WE WON TWO BUCKS. TWO BUCKS?

WHAT'S THAT, ABOUT SIX CENTS AN HOUR?

A $2,000 TURNAROUND IN ONE POT.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU DIDN'T LOSE.

MY BACK'S KILLING ME.

WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.

HEY, JUST RELAX. WE CAN HANG OUT HERE FOR A WHILE.

THE ROOM'S PAID FOR TILL TONIGHT.

HEY, LET ME UNDER HERE. JOE.

HEY, RELAX. YOU CAN'T GIVE A GOOD MASSAGE OVER MATERIAL.

I'M THE TRAINER. MM-HMM.

OH, I GOTTA LAY DOWN. OH, I'M SO TIRED.

AS LONG AS WE GOT THE ROOM, RIGHT? OKAY?

JOE.

HEY. COME ON. WE'RE... WE'RE BOTH KEYED UP.

YOU'RE ALL KEYED UP.

JOE, DON'T.

NO.

I STARTED NIGHT LAW SCHOOL IN SEPTEMBER, SO, UH, BY CHRISTMAS,

I DON'T KNOW, EVERYTHING... I WAS SORT OF BACKED UP.

THINGS WERE GOING BAD, SO...

IT JUST SEEMED LIKE THE EASIEST,

THE MOST HARMLESS THING TO DO WOULD BE TO GET A FEW PILLS.

A FEW MORE PILLS.

HEY, I NEVER DEALT. I GOT A PROBLEM.

UH, MAYBE I'M A DISGRACE. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

BUT I NEVER DEALT. WHERE'D YOU GET THE FORMS, DAN?

UH, EVIDENCE FILE ON A DOCTOR'S OFFICE BURGLARY. CASE WAS CLOSED.

STEP OUTSIDE FOR A MINUTE? PLEASE.

SO WHAT'S IT GONNA BE WITH THIS GUY?

IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS, AND YOU'RE HIS COMMANDING OFFICER, JERRY,

- BUT I THINK HE'S SALVAGEABLE. - HE'S WHAT?

I'VE SEEN TOO MUCH UNNECESSARY WRECKAGE IN THIS DEPARTMENT LATELY.

COME ON, FRANK, LISTEN TO YOURSELF.

THE GUY'S A LOSER. HE'S A LIABILITY.

GIVE HIM 90 DAYS FOR AN INPATIENT AT

HILLTOP, AND WE MIGHT STILL HAVE A GOOD COP.

BUT IF YOU CUT HIM LOOSE, WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE ANOTHER EMPTY SPACE IN THE LINE.

SINCE WHEN ARE WE THE JUDGES?

YOU WENT TO THE WALL FOR CHARLIE WEEKS AND HE MAKES THIS GUY LOOK LIKE JOAN OF ARC.

THAT WAS THEN, FRANK. NOW'S NOW.

YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE.

WHAT MAKES HIM SO DIFFERENT FROM ALL THE GUYS AT THE FERRY THAT WE'RE BUSTING DOWN?

HE'S DIFFERENT, JERRY, AND YOU KNOW IT.

THIS ISN'T CORRUPTION, THIS IS A YOUNG GUY WITH A PROBLEM.

I'M NO HERO, FRANK.

I HAVE NO ITCH TO SIT IN SULLIVAN'S WITNESS CHAIR.

LET ME HAVE YOUR GUN AND YOUR BADGE.

IT'S THE LAST HAND OF THE NIGHT. WE'RE UP A GRAND, EASY.

EVERYBODY'S DROPPIN' OUT, AND THEN THAT BOZO FROM THE HEIGHTS... WHAT A WEASEL.

SORRY ABOUT THAT, PAL. SHE HAD KINGS FULL.

WIRED ALL THE WAY. SHE BETS 500, HE RAISES HER,

AND THEN TURNS OVER FOUR DEUCES.

SUCH ARE THE VICISSITUDES OF FORTUNE, BATES.

HEY, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY. YOU SPENT 30 HOURS IN A HOTEL ROOM WITH SIX GUYS.

AND YOU AVERAGED SIX CENTS AN HOUR.

HEY, DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU SO MUCH.

THAT'S NOT WHAT'S BOTHERING ME, AND YOU KNOW IT.

COME ON, LUCE, YOU WERE... YOU WERE LYING THERE ON YOUR STOMACH.

SINCE WHEN DON'T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIE DOWN ON MY STOMACH...

AFTER PLAYING POKER FOR 30 HOURS STRAIGHT?

WELL, SINCE WHEN DON'T I HAVE THE RIGHT TO GIVE YOU A BACK MASSAGE?

Y-YOU SAID YOUR BACK HURT.

JOE, DON'T TALK LIKE AN INFANT. YOU WERE KISSING ME.

WELL, I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU. I MEAN, IS THAT A CRIME?

YOU WERE COMING ON TO ME, JUST LIKE YOU DO WITH EVERY OTHER WOMAN YOU MEET.

YEAH, WELL, I DIDN'T SEE YOU OFFERING A WHOLE LOT OF RESISTANCE.

I JUST DON'T EVER WANNA HEAR THIS COMING BACK TO ME FROM ANY OF THE GUYS.

WELL, WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?

I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

SORRY.

I JUST FEEL SO EXPOSED SOMETIMES, I...

LIKE, IF I MAKE ONE MISTAKE... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

WELL, DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU? REALLY?

THE LAST THING IN THE WORLD I'D EVER WANT TO SEE IS YOU GET HURT.

I WANNA LOOK OUT FOR YOU.

YEAH.

FUNNY.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU.

AND YOU WERE GREAT IN MY CORNER.

AND, WOULD IT BE A FAIR DEDUCTION, BASED ON YOUR PRIOR TESTIMONY,

THAT YOU RUN A FAIRLY TIGHT SHIP ON THE HILL, THAT YOU KEEP ABREAST OF EVENTS?

WE TRY TO. YES. GOOD.

MS. JACKSON.

WOULD YOU EXPLAIN TO THE JURY WHAT THIS IS?

IT APPEARS TO BE A STANDARD .38 CALIBER S & W SERVICE REVOLVER.

YES, INDEED, IT IS. ONE SEIZED WITH TWO AUTO

THEFT SUSPECTS THIS MORNING IN CLAREMONT.

UNREPORTED AS MISSING ON ANY DEPARTMENTAL RECORDS.

AND REGISTERED TO ONE ANDREW J. RENKO.

- WHO IS ANDREW J. RENKO, CAPTAIN? - AN OFFICER IN MY PRECINCT.

OFFICERS LOSE WEAPONS FROM TIME TO TIME. THERE'S NO CRIME IN THAT.

IF THIS ISN'T AN EXAMPLE OF GROSS ADMINISTRATIVE LAXITY, CAPTAIN, WHAT IS?

THOUSANDS OF TAXPAYERS' DOLLARS ARE BEING FLUSHED DOWN THE HILL STREET TOILET,

AND NOT JUST IN BIZARRE INCIDENTS LIKE THIS UNACCOUNTABLY LOST FIREARM.

ISN'T IT TRUE, CAPTAIN FURILLO,

THAT THE ABUSE IS SO WIDESPREAD,

YOUR CHIEF HAS SENT A SPY INTO YOUR MIDST TO UNCOVER IT?

THAT SPY, MR. PECK, SIMPLY ILLUSTRATES...

THAT MY DEPARTMENT DOES A FAIRLY GOOD JOB OF POLICING ITSELF.

YES. WE'LL FIND OUT JUST HOW GOOD A JOB WHEN YOUR CHIEF DANIELS...

SHOWS UP RIGHT AFTER YOU TO DISCUSS HIS CELEBRATED "SCAM SALOON."

NOW, MOVING ON TO ANOTHER SHINING EXAMPLE: THE HILL STREET POSTAGE METER.

OH, COME ON, MR. PECK, SURELY THIS $2 MILLION COMMISSION...

HASN'T BEEN REDUCED TO COUNTING PAPER CLIPS?

WHY DON'T YOU PUT UP OR SHUT UP?

ALL RIGHT. ART DELGADO. AT LAST.

NOW, THIS JURY HAS ALREADY HEARD TESTIMONY...

AS TO THE ORGANIZED SYSTEM BY WHICH OFFICER DELGADO RECEIVED PAY...

FOR NO WORK WHATSOEVER.

LAST TIME, WHEN YOU ASKED ME ABOUT "SERIOUS WRONGDOINGS,"

THE NAME ART DELGADO DIDN'T EVEN OCCUR TO ME.

I WONDER, MR. PECK, HAVE YOU TOLD YOUR JURORS ANYTHING ABOUT ART DELGADO?

YOU MEAN ABOUT HIS NO-SHOWS? ABOUT HIS MANIFEST UNFITNESS FOR POLICE WORK?

OFFICER DELGADO HAS SERVED THIS CITY FOR MORE THAN 29 YEARS.

AFTER NINE YEARS OF SERVICE,

HE LOST ALL SENIORITY BECAUSE HE TOOK A YEAR'S LEAVE OF ABSENCE.

TODAY, HE'S STILL SIX MONTHS SHY OF A 20-YEAR PENSION.

IF YOU PULL THE STRING ON HIM NOW, HE GETS 40% OF A 15-YEAR DISABILITY.

I RESPECTFULLY SUBMIT, YOU CAN'T EVEN FEED A DOG ON THAT.

I'VE BROUGHT ALONG A SUMMARY OF OFFICER DELGADO'S SERVICE RECORD:

FOUR MEDALS OF VALOR, FIVE HUMANITARIAN CITATIONS, THREE SHOOT-OUTS.

ARE WE NOW SIMPLY TO DISCARD OFFICER DELGADO?

YES, WE'VE BEEN CARRYING HIM UNTIL HIS RETIREMENT.

I WOULD FEEL ONLY SHAME IF WE'D DONE ANY LESS.

TAKE CARE TO WHAT YOU'RE CONFESSING TO, CAPTAIN.

THEN ALONG COMES THIS COMMISSION,

WITH CYNICISM AND A HUNGER FOR HEADLINES.

WHATEVER WE DID FOR ART DELGADO, I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

WHY DON'T YOU PROSECUTE ME? SMEAR ME IN THE PRESS?

DESTROY MY REPUTATION, IF YOU CAN. BUT I'LL NOT SELL OUT ART DELGADO.

I'LL NOT.

NOW, AM I DISMISSED, MR. PECK?

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

CAPTAIN,

YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT IT HAS BEEN DETERMINED TO REMAND YOU...

INTO THE CUSTODY OF YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER FOR DISCIPLINE.

UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, CONSIDER IT A SLAP ON THE WRIST.

WELL, FRANK, HOW DID IT GO?

I'M REMANDED TO YOU FOR A SLAP ON THE WRIST. CONSIDER YOURSELF SLAPPED.

IT WON'T WORK, IT'S GONE TOO FAR. THEY'RE YOURS.

COME ON, FRANK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? COOL DOWN.

COOL DOWN? YOU SET ME UP! YOU PUT ME IN THE JACKPOT. YOU USED ME!

OF COURSE I DID. SO WHAT? I'M THE CHIEF AND YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN.

FRANK, WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS QUITTING ON ME, HUH?

WHAT IS IT, THE ITALIAN GRAND OPERA STREAK?

COME ON, FRANK, I CAN'T GO INTO THE JURY CARRYING AN EXTRA BADGE AND GUN.

WHAT ABOUT ART DELGADO?

ALL RIGHT, WHAT ABOUT HIM?

I WANT ASSURANCES HE'LL BE TAKEN CARE OF. NO PROBLEM AT ALL, FRANK.

I HAVE FRIENDS OVER AT PARAMOUNT SECURITY. WE'LL SEND HIM RIGHT OVER THERE.

THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. PARAMOUNT SECURITY IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

AND LET'S FACE IT, ART DELGADO'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

HE COULDN'T SEPARATE PAPER CLIPS AT PARAMOUNT SECURITY ANYMORE.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHAT THEN? HE STAYS ON THE FORCE.

HIS YEAR'S LEAVE IS RECREDITED SO HE GETS A 30-YEAR RETIREMENT INSTEAD OF A 20.

FRANK, I'D HAVE TO GO TO THE CITY COUNCIL ON THAT.

THEN GO. AND I ALSO WANT HIM GIVEN A COMPLETE

MEDICAL SHIELD AGAINST THOSE VULTURES IN THERE.

FRANK, GIVE ME A BREAK. THE TIMING'S NOT RIGHT ON THAT, AND YOU KNOW IT!

IT NEVER IS. WITHIN THE MONTH.

OR YOU CAN GO INTO THAT JURY AND BRAG ABOUT HOW YOU BAGGED AN 18-YEAR CAPTAIN.

MEANWHILE, I'LL GRAB A FEW HEADLINES FOR MY OWN SIDE OF THINGS.

OKAY, FRANK. ONE MONTH.

I OWE YOU, AND THIS IS IT.

JUST PUT THESE AWAY, WILL YOU?

THANKS.

I'M SORRY YOU'VE TAKEN ALL THIS SO HARD, FRANK.

BUT I GOTTA TELL YA, I FEEL GREAT.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THREE WEEKS, THIS MORNING I HAD A NORMAL SIT-DOWN.

I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT A JOY IT WAS.

WENT IN THERE WITH THE SPORTS SECTION, AND IT WAS UN...

CHIEF DANIELS.

IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT DAY FOR THE DEPARTMENT, FRANK.

TWO BURGERS, WELL DONE. I SAID RARE, MAN.

NO, YOU DIDN'T. YOU SAID WELL DONE. NO, I SAID RARE.

WELL DONE.

YEAH, WELL, ANYWAY, SO YOU GIRLS ARE STEWS, HUH?

YOU FLY? I DON'T LIKE FLYING MUCH MYSELF... SEE, I USUALLY...

I GET SICK, OR I HEAR THE LANDING GEAR GO DOWN.

AND I THINK IT'S A BOMB GOING OFF, OR SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT.

BACK KIND OF SOON, AREN'T YOU? YEAH, JUST DRIVING BY.

SAW YOU GOT THREE DEEP AT THE BAR HERE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

AH, YOU DO MORE BUSINESS, YOU CREATE MORE PROBLEMS.

I SAID, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

HEY, BOY, WATCH YOUR TONE, WOULD YOU? MORE MONEY.

EVERYBODY, FREEZE! NOBODY GETS HURT.

DON'T MOVE.

OH, BOY.

THIS AIN'T MADE OF SOAP. COME ON!

I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK I'M BEING CUTE, OR NOTHING,

BUT YOU, I... I JUST WANT YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AROUND.

NOBODY WANTS TO SHOOT.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST BACK OUT THE DOOR, NICE AND EASY?

NOBODY'S GONNA SHOOT. GO ON, NICE AND EASY.

STOP THIS CRIMINAL ACT! STOP THIS CRIMINAL ACT!

WE GET 'EM, MICK?

SURE WE GOT 'EM, CAPTAIN. YOU KEEP STILL NOW.

MY NEUTRO-WARP GENERATOR FAILED.

SHOULD'VE STOPPED THE BULLET. MY FAULT FOR NOT CHECKING THE BATTERIES. I...

YOU GOTTA KEEP QUIET. I DON'T WANT ANY TALKING NOW.

I CAN TAKE ANY AMOUNT OF PAIN.

PUT THE SUFFERING OF ALL THE WORLD ON MY SHOULDERS.

I CAN TAKE IT. I CAN TAKE IT. AND I AIN'T AFRAID TO DIE.

WILL YOU SHUT UP? NOBODY'S GONNA DIE.

I TELL YOU WHAT, YOU DIE, YOU HAIRBAG, I'LL KICK YOUR BUTT ACROSS THE BLOCK.

YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE WRONG THING, MICK.

YOU'RE LOOKING AT THIS. THIS ISN'T ME.

I'M ETERNAL.

I LIVE IN THE ALLEY CATS AND THE BUSES IN THE STREET.

YOU CAN'T KILL ME, BECAUSE I'M THE CITY.

DADA-DA-DA! I AM THE CITY.

THE POWER'S IN THE GLOVE, MICK. IT ALWAYS WAS.

IT'S YOURS NOW. YOU GOTTA TAKE IT.

HERE, YOU TAKE THIS.

YOU KNOW WE'RE BUDDIES, DON'T YA?

YOU KNOW WE FIGHT THE SAME FIGHT.

THERE, MICK. OUT THERE.

GANGSTERS, MAD SCIENTISTS,

MUTANT CAVE CREATURES... VILLAINS.

THEY'RE DARING US WITH THEIR ARROGANCE.

WE'VE GOT TO SAVE THE CITY.

GOTTA MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL AGAIN.

WE GOTTA FEEL THE WIND IN OUR FACES, SEE THE STARS OVER OUR SHOULDERS.

IT'S ALL SO CLEAR, MICK. I MEAN, I...

I CAN ALMOST REACH OUT AND TOUCH IT.

HA!

OH, CAPTAIN...

NO SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY, INTEGRITY, LOYALTY, GENEROSITY OR TRUTH.

PERIOD. NONE. NADA.

A SENSE OF BOWEL MOVEMENTS, YES. THAT HE'S GOT.

I WOULDN'T BE THE MOST DISAPPOINTED PERSON IN THE WORLD IF YOU QUIT THE DEPARTMENT.

A MAN WITH YOUR BACKGROUND AND SMARTS. THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF THINGS YOU COULD DO.

MM-HMM. LIKE WHAT?

I BET YOU COULD GET A JOB TEACHING. IN A UNIVERSITY OR A LAW SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW, IN TWO MORE YEARS, I'LL BE A 20.

MAYBE THEN I'LL START THINKING ABOUT IT.

I FIGURED YOU'D SAY THAT.

I PRAYED HE WOULDN'T TAKE IT.

HMM?

WHEN I OFFERED DANIELS MY GUN, I PRAYED HE WOULDN'T TAKE IT.

FUNNY. I SORT OF WISH HE HAD.