Original subtitles

♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Is he bold? ♪ - ♪ No one braver ♪

- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪ - ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪

- ♪ What a guy ♪ - ♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Ask his friends ♪ - ♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪

- ♪ Hercules ♪ - ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Come on ♪ - ♪ No one's fool ♪

♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪

♪ He's in trainin' ♪

♪ Smart and shy ♪

♪ And the nicest guy ♪

♪ No complainin' ♪

♪ He was a no one, a zero, zero ♪

♪ He'll never quit till he's a hero ♪

♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪

♪ From zero to hero ♪

♪ Herc is a hero ♪

♪ He'll be a hero ♪

Wait and see.

Ho! It's liver day again!

Chopped liver, liver and onions,

liver ice cream!

I am a liver lover.

Ugh! Here, Icarus.

I'm an organ donor.

Mmm! Oh, thanks, Herc.

Mmmm, I just can't get enough of this stuff.

Mmm-mmm.

When the chicken-fried falafel fad is but a memory,

Every Thursday will still be liver day!

Yeah. How come?

Ahem!

I couldn't help but overhear. Well, I could have, but I didn't, did I?

You don't know the story of this institution's illustrious namesake,

i.e. Prometheus?

Um, is Prometheus the guy or the bird?

Behold Prometheus the Titan!

Whose story goes a little something like this...

♪ Prometheus the most enlightened ♪

♪ Was the brightest of the Titans ♪

♪ Saw us stumbling in the night ♪

♪ Decided that we needed light ♪

♪ Incurred the Gods' revengeful ire ♪

♪ By stealing their great secret fire ♪

♪ Up to heaven one fine day ♪

♪ Lit a torch from the sun and ran away ♪

♪ He gave this gift so me and you ♪

♪ Could enjoy a summer barbecue ♪

♪ So food is not a dreadful bore ♪

♪ We eat it cooked instead of raw ♪

♪ He gave us fire, which did inspire ♪

♪ Us all to seek for something higher ♪

♪ We learned to read and write ♪

♪ And speak in poetry in books, in Greek ♪

♪ To build the city, found the state ♪

♪ To calculate and cogitate ♪

♪ Invent philosophy and mirth ♪

♪ Explore both corners of the Earth ♪

♪ To pluck the harp and twang the lyre ♪

♪ And found the world's first Grecian choir ♪

♪ Map out the heavens, study math ♪

♪ Come home and have a nice, hot bath ♪

Hmm.

♪ Our forefathers were overjoyed ♪

♪ The gods were fearsomely annoyed ♪

♪ Guess what they then went and did ♪

♪ To this prominent Promethean kid ♪

♪ The punishment was grim and dire ♪

♪ For stealing this great gift of fire ♪

♪ They chained him to a rock, absurd ♪

♪ Pecked at by a giant bird ♪

Ouch!

♪ Henpecked for all eternity ♪

♪ Prometheus alone ♪

♪ Nailed to a rock for all to see ♪

♪ He is no rolling stone ♪

♪ How could this kindly Titan giver ♪

♪ Live without his precious liver? ♪

♪ Every night, despite the pain ♪

♪ His liver would grow back again ♪

Ehh... ♪ And every dawn of every morn ♪

♪ That eagle would return to pluck ♪

♪ His organ out and eat it up ♪

♪ Oh, yuck, oh, yuck, what rotten luck ♪

Yes, Hercules, a question?

You mean he's still there?

Well, I believe... actually, I'm certain...

Great! Thanks. Bye.

Uh, listen, Phil?

I need to skip training today.

I'll pretend I didn't heart that.

Ever hear of Prometheus? I'm gonna rescue him.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Hero rule number 88,

if a hero hears there's a wrong to right,

he's got to right that wrong, right?

Wrong. I mean, right.

But there's somethin' you oughta know!

Don't worry, Phil! I'm on this!

Wait! Kid!

The God who put him there was your daddy Zeus.

Oy.

I believe I have a reservation for lunch.

Look under "Eagle."

You're not funny, ya know, not now, not ever.

Ow! Owww! Owowowowowow!

Ouch!

Yum, yum, yum.

Ow! Owww! Ouch! Ow.

Could you keep it down! I'm tryin' to eat here!

Hey, what are you holding?

Your liver, Prometheus. How long have we been doin' this routine?

Other talon, idiot.

Oh. Heh heh.

It's an onion.

You're having my liver and onions?

Give me a break! Liver, liver, liver!

A guy needs some roughage.

Hey, how do you think I feel?

I'm kinda attached to that liver.

Oy. What I wouldn't give for a nice piece of fish.

Hold still, for Zeus' sake.

Zeus? Oh! Now you're pushing all my buttons.

Mmm...

It was good today.

Very fresh.

Oh, there's that onion.

I hope you get indigestion, you glorified vulture!

Pain, the tide is coming in!

All of the Titans are snug as lugs

in a cage under the suds.

Rock Titan, check.

Ice T, check.

Volcano dude, check.

Wind guy, check.

The big fat one with the one eye was starin' at me!

This concludes our annual Titan status update.

Whoa! What about that Prometheus guy?

Ahh... The good Titan?

Eh...

He's chained to a rock for eternity.

We'll get to him when we get to him.

Oh-ho, great!

A flying horse. Let me guess.

The horse flies in every day

and kicks me in the head, then my head heals overnight.

The horse comes back the next day and kicks it again, hah?

What are you talkin' about?

I am a hero in training,

and I'm here to free Prometheus!

Good news for a change.

As your eternal tormentor,

I gotta say, I'm against this.

Ah...

Oh.

Way to go, sonny! Let him have it!

Oh, I like to see them feathers flyin'!

Ah!

Unh... huh?

Aah!

Come back here!

I can't wait to get my talons on you!

Don't run away from me!

You'll never get away from me! I'm comin' after you!

Whoa!

Hey!

I'm Hercules.

I just heard about this great injustice.

Huh, musta been a slow newsday.

I'm gonna rescue you.

Well, that's very sweet, sonny,

But there's a little problem.

Hephaestus made these chains.

I'm a Titan. I can't even break them,

and, believe me, I've tried.

Well, maybe if we try together.

I'm pretty strong for my age.

Uhh!

Hey, you're strong for any age.

Unh! Thanks.

But I gotta warn ya, sonny.

You could get in big trouble for this.

You do know who put me here... don't ya?

Yeah. Some very hotheaded narrow-minded god!

I'll say. But don't worry because, you see, my father is... unh!

Uhh... Zeus!

Ah, right, so,

I don't really have to worry about whatever petty,

second-rate god did this to you.

Ooh. OK. Heh heh.

Not another word on the subject.

Hercules is freeing Prometheus?

Eternity's not as long as it used to be.

But his own dad stuck the guy there.

He must not know!

All right, the Council of the Gods is now in session.

Any old business before we proceed?

Yeah. Say, uh, new job for Hades.

Because, ya know, Club Dead can really, ya know, can basically run itself.

What do you say, Zeus, huh?

Throw me a bone, babe.

You're the Lord of the Dead,

and you want me to throw you a bone?

Ha-hah!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Well, that's... ha ha!

That's good. You got... don't... But, hey, seriously,

You know, I thought you might have basically changed your mind

about me being stuck down there in the Underworld,

ya know, forever.

We grow, we change, it happens.

Whadda ya say, babe?

Forget it.

I don't change my mind.

All right, jeez!

Try to be a little progressive. Heh heh...

Pssst!

Huh? What?

Your flamefulness!

Have we got the dish!

What?

Ooh.

Ooh!

Wha... Hades?

Yes, big brother. Yes?

Do you have minions over there?

Minions? No.

I found mice over here.

I say I found some mice!

Mice!

Vermin on Mount Olympus.

Is nothing, like, ya know, sacred?

And, uh, speaking of affronts to the status quo,

does the name Prometheus ring a bell?

That miserable Titan.

Ding-dong!

Well, it seems... He's free.

What?

Who would dare free Prometheus?

It just sickens me, bro.

It's as if your authority as King of the Gods is nothing.

Uh-oh! Looks like we're in for a patch of weather.

Did the forecast call for partly explosive skies?

Uh, didn't mention the chance of falling mountains, either!

If there was any hope that old Zeus mellowed over the years,

I'd say that little outburst rules it out.

Speaking of which, where is that little son of Zeus?

Sonny!

Sonny, are you OK?

Huh? What happened?

Well, let's say you got a piece of the rock.

Uh, who are you?

Prometheus, the Titan.

You rescued me, remember?

Oh, me?

Uh, by the way, who am I?

You are Hercules.

Say after me, "I am Hercules,

hero-in-training and son of Zeus."

Ah ha ha! Right! Yeah. Good for me. Yeah!

Apollo, you search the skies!

Artemis, scour the woods. Demeter, the fields.

The traitor who freed Prometheus will suffer my wrath.

Yow! Oof.

You're takin' a hard line here, Zeus.

I mean, you sure about this?

If you wanna change your mind.

I told you, I don't change my mind.

Hey, in that case, request permission to hunt down and destroy the traitor, sir!

Permission granted.

Ooh, outstanding.

I think I'm OK to walk now.

Sonny, you got hit by a mountain back there.

Enjoy the ride. Uh-oh!

- They're after me. - Who's after you?

Apollo.

He's not after you.

My dad must have sent him to find us.

Yeah. That was my theory.

I'll flag him down.

Sonny, I have good reason to believe that Apollo

is working for the God who chained me to that rock.

Really? Man, just wait till my dad hears about this.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He'll be shocked, I'm sure.

OK, here's the plan,

Pegasus, go tell Phil what's going on.

I'll stay with Prometheus to protect him.

Yeah, like I need you to protect me.

You needed me to free you.

That's one for you.

OK, I gotta tell you,

this is gonna be dangerous, sonny.

Yeah. Like I need you to warn me.

I don't...

Do you mind? May I kvetch in peace here?

Hey. Hades, Lord of the Underworld. How you doin'? You look good.

I'm dead! I'm dead!

Whoa, whoa. Sorry. No such luck, my friend.

Well, if I'm not dead, what are you doin' here?

I am, uh...

wreaking the vengeance of Zeus, if you will.

Oh... I see.

After years of service tormenting that Titan, I'm being replaced?

It's not that easy, pal! I'm filing a comp...

Whoa, whoa! Prometheus and the kid, you saw them leave?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Huh? Is that a "yes"? Good. Lead the way.

Nothing beats a campfire.

You know, before I brought fire down to the mortals,

they just sat around like a bunch of schtummies,

looking at a pile of logs and sticks.

Huh. Must've been dark.

And cold! They didn't even have s'mores.

They had s'lesses.

But then came fire,

my greatest gift to humanity.

Thanks. Heh-heh...

I mean on behalf of humanity.

Just remember, it needs air to burn.

So the way to put out a fire is to smother it.

Follow?

Pegasus!

Alone?

Uh-oh.

Where's the kid?

Oh, no. He got eaten?

A bird? A big bird?

He ate a big bird?

What? Oh, you want me to get on.

Hey, all right!

I think I'm catchin' onto your lingo!

That was a short night.

Hey! Hey!

What the... uhh!

Demeter?

What?

Ow! Argh... Uhh!

Come on, sonny. Demeter is running.

Oh, boy! C'mon, Herc.

Oh...

Oh, my... ah!

Wha?

Whoa, whoa!

Just don't look back!

Whoa! Definitely don't look back.

You're, like, Olympus's most wanted.

Oh!

Jump! Ah!

Bada-boom! Am I tardy to the party? Ha!

Hades, too?

Back for more, you buzzard?

Well, the chains are off this time.

Back off! Back off!

Whoa!

Nice shot, bro!

Prometheus!

Hercules, my boy!

Then it was you who found him.

You know, son, I believe you may become a true hero yet.

Thanks. I believe I've righted a great wrong.

Indeed, by capturing this insolent fugitive...

"Capturing"? But I didn't capture him.

You didn't?

No. I... I freed him.

You know, sonny, I was about to mention this.

I really was.

My own son!

How could you do this to me, Hercules?

Why did you punish Prometheus?

He stole fire from Mount Olympus.

Ah, give it up, sonny. He never listens.

You stay out of it.

You could have saved us all this trouble by following my orders.

I had this same argument with him ages ago.

They were dumb orders.

- Dumb then, dumb now. - Oh, there he goes again!

I don't get it. What's so wrong with giving mortals fire?

Son, giving the mortals fire was like...

Well, it was like playing with fire.

They weren't ready.

It could have been a disaster.

It wasn't, though.

Maybe you didn't think they were ready,

and maybe a few got burnt...

Hey, hey! You can't pin that on me.

I taught them stop, drop, and roll.

But how can you find out if somebody can handle responsibility

if you never give them any?

Hercules, you may never understand this,

but I can't allow some know-it-all Titan

to just ignore my authority.

Father, at least...

Think about what I said.

Oh, fair enough.

For you, my boy.

Pardonnez moi.

Correct me if I'm way off here,

but don't I remember something about the King of Gods

who doesn't change his mind?

Or was that, like, some other king of some other Gods?

I mean, 'cause... and again, correct me if I am wrong,

but these Gods heard that, am I right?

Hello? Is that what we heard or is that what we heard?

Er, yeah.

Uh... uh-huh. Uh, that's right.

What are you getting at, Hades?

I think this calls for... and this is literally off the top of my head...

- A trial by fire! - Not involving our Hercules!

Hey, if Zeus has gone soft on crime...

I mean, it is still a crime to defy you, isn't it?

The boy had no idea what he was doing.

But Prometheus blatantly defied me.

If trial by fire will end this, once and for all,

so be it.

Hey-hey!

Hey, didn't I just get struck by lightning?

Doesn't that count for somethin'?

This time, fried liver.

Wow, did I do that? Nice, huh?

You're gonna get it, featherhead.

Gimme your best shot!

Heh. Well, that was a pretty good one.

Hang in there, Prometheus!

You're not fighting alone!

No!

Son!

There they are!

Huh?

Aah!

Heh heh!

Huh?

Ah!

We gotcha, Herc! Hang on!

Let's go. Dive! Dive!

Ah! You're on your own, kid!

Think! Think! Fire needs air.

Whoa!

Hey, hey, what are you doin'?

I have an idea!

I have a diaper.

Well done, son!

Well done, indeed.

Arrrr...

Beautiful, kid!

Thanks, father.

You stood by your conviction.

And...?

Uh... and?

Anybody you'd like to apologize to?

Ah, yes.

The Council, of course.

I'm so sorry I sent all of you

on such a wild goose chase.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Father, I meant Prometheus.

Prometheus! That overgrown...

Look, I'm sorry you didn't like what I did,

but it was the right thing to do.

Heh heh.

Yeah. Ditto for me.

Oh, all right.

You're off the hook, Prometheus.

Well, it takes a pretty big God to admit he was wrong.

I thank you.

And so it is with great pleasure... And no small pride...

That I introduce our academy's very own rock star,

if I may joke outrageously,

the Titan Prometheus!

Thank you, kids. Thank you. Thank you.

Can we get this redone?

As you kids all know,

I've always had a soft spot for humanity.

Fire was good.

The enlightenment that came with it, better.

So I asked myself,

what can I do for an encore?

And it came to me in a flash.

From this day forth, I hereby decree...

No more liver Thursdays!

- Yeah! Whoo! - Yeah!

My hero. Eh!

I've got a waiting list for minions. You're not on it.