Original subtitles

♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Is he bold? ♪

♪ No one braver ♪

♪ Is he sweet? ♪

♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪

- ♪ What a guy ♪ - ♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Ask his friends ♪ - ♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪

- ♪ Hercules ♪ - ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Come on ♪ - ♪ No one's fool ♪

♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪

♪ He's in trainin' ♪

♪ Sun is shinin' ♪

♪ And the nicest guy ♪

♪ No complainin' ♪

♪ He was a no one ♪

♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪

♪ He's our hero ♪

♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪

♪ From zero to hero ♪

♪ Herc is a hero ♪

♪ He'll be a hero ♪

Wait and see!

Of all the heroes in ancient Greece,

none was more steadfast than Odysseus, King of Ithaca.

The story of Odysseus'

incredible journey home from Troy

is told in the epic poem The Odyssey.

What began as a simple voyage turned into a 20-year struggle,

an odyssey if you will.

Odysseus encountered storms, a brutal cyclops,

angry gods, terrifying giants, alluring, yet deadly, sirens,

and more.

During these tough years, home eluded Odysseus.

But frankly, the guy couldn't buy a break.

But he never gave up, nor did his faithful wife, Penelope.

She never wavered in her belief that her husband would return.

Finally, the loving couple reunited,

and life returned to normal.

Well, sort of.

As Odysseus' fame grew,

he did what many have done over the ages...

He cashed in... big time.

Odysseus gathered mementos of his celebrated journey

and toured them throughout Greece.

The response was overwhelming.

"Odyssey-mania" swept the land.

Citizens flocked to the show,

including a certain hero in training.

Ah, thank you so much for inviting me along, sir.

Tickets have been sold out for weeks.

Well, my little Cassandra's in one of her blue moods.

But she said you're nuts for this epic poem, hero stuff.

Absolutely!

Didn't you just love The Odyssey?

Never read it. I won these tickets at the office.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Looks like another overflow crowd, Penelope.

Yes, your story is inspirational, dear.

Oh, the gift shop just ran out of souvenir lotus blossoms, Your Highness.

Mmm, push the siren song collection.

Ooh, you're good.

By the gods, this odyssey experience

is like a license to mint money.

Yes, you're very cunning, dear.

Excuse me, Your Highness.

Um, you probably don't remember me.

Right you are.

Uh, eh, wait. You're that student of Philoctetes.

- Um... - Hercules. Yeah.

Uh, I... I... I was wondering if you'd sign my copy of The Odyssey?

It's... it's, like, my favorite scroll.

Of course it is.

"To Hercules, good luck on your odyssey."

You know, Hercules, I have a son about your age.

Telemachus!

Oh, where is that boy?

Standing in your shadow, dear.

Step up, son.

Don't be bashful. Say hello to Hercules.

Whatever you say, father.

Hello, Hercules.

Oh, nice to meet you, Telemachus.

Here you go, Hercules.

Do me a favor...

Spend some time with Telemachus.

He's a little... How shall I say...

uh, timid.

There! This might be worth something some day, eh?

Ah, thank you, sir. I... I'll, uh, do my best.

Telemachus, we're gonna check out the ship. You wanna come along?

Whatever you say.

Ah, your father is a very great man.

That's what people tell me... all the time.

You must've been very proud when, when you read The Odyssey, huh?

I never read it.

Those epic poems don't really do anything for me.

See, I'm not the only one.

Look at this. Look at this, huh? Look at this.

Boy, I tell you.

Explain to me why you didn't see a show like this

for the Argo, huh?

We were at sea for 30 years,

and that was before the automatic anchor.

It's all about hype.

Lynceus, Butes, it's Hercules, remember?

These guys are actual Argonauts.

Argo-what's?

Do you mean to tell me you've never heard the story

of "Jason and the Argonauts' quest for the golden fleece?"

Tell me it's not so.

Sorry, I'm... not big on sports.

Oh, Butes is the beekeeper of the ship,

and Lynceus is the rigger.

Ah, I... I... I... I'm sorry, but if... if I may...

Was the rigger, "was the rigger."

What happened?

One day we find the golden fleece...

the next day, unemployed.

Gee, I'm sorry. Ooh, look...

King Aeolus' bag of winds.

Odysseus' crew thought there was a treasure inside.

They opened it and unleashed this wicked hurricane.

Mmm, tough break.

What do they got in there now, some kind of pillow stuffing?

How come there's never a kite around when you really need it?

The ship... it's moving!

Telemachus!

My fault.

"Let's check out the Athenian olive works," I said.

No, wasn't good enough for you.

"I don't wanna see the olive works."

No, you had to see the Odyssey experience.

- How do you like it? - How do you suppose they fit

all that wind into such a small bag?

How do you suppose you fit such a small brain into a big head?

Huh? I'll tell you what...

If I see king Aeolus, I'll ask about the wind, OK?

Crying out loud, at this rate, maybe we'll land on him.

How do you like that? That would be the king Aeolus experience.

Telemachus.

There, there. He'll be fine.

Odysseus, Penelope, City-state Trooper, Chipecles.

We've received a report of a missing boy.

Yes, our son, Telemachus.

Kids... you work and scrimp and next thing you know,

the little ingrates decide to take a hike.

No, no, you don't understand.

Telemachus is gentle and kind and good.

So let me ask you this about the punk...

Was he withdrawn, have trouble making friends?

Well, he is a bit shy, but it's not like that.

Someone opened the bag of winds given to me by King Aeolus.

And you blame the kid? Ah, the plot thickens.

No wonder he high-tailed it out of here.

Can't you see he didn't walk out of here by choice?

Ahh, kidnapping, eh?

Well, why didn't you say so?

That's a whole different kettle of fish.

Hey, the view is pretty terrific from up here.

We gotta do something!

Do? Do? What can we do, hmm?

We're on a flying ship born by a magic cyclone.

It's hopeless!

We could tie up the bag of winds.

Unless, of course, we could tie up the bag of winds.

You're right. It's a stupid idea.

No, no, no, it's a great idea.

It's too far.

You could lower me.

That is, if you don't think I'll mess up.

You are really strong, right?

I won't drop you. I promise.

Even though our time is short, Telemachus,

let me just take a moment to say, "great idea!"

Oh! We made it.

What a rush.

You saved us, son.

Every kidnapping investigation begins with motive.

Do you have any enemies?

I... I... I don't see how...

Let me be the judge of what's important.

Of course I have enemies!

Haven't you read The Odyssey?

Sorry, missed it.

Well, there's Polyphemus the cyclops,

Poseidon the God of the Sea, half the royals in Ithaca.

Not to mention all the suitors who pursued me

while you were gone.

Suitors? You didn't tell me you had suitors.

Don't you remember all the men you slew outside the palace?

I thought they were salesmen.

Ah, sounds like problems at home.

Maybe junior staged the kidnapping himself just to get away.

- It was a magic cyclone! - It was a magic cyclone!

Hey! You wanna stick with that story, that's your business.

Oh, we're wasting time.

I'm going to look for Telemachus myself.

What are you doing?

Going with you.

The last time you left I didn't see you for 20 years.

Hold it! We'll take the police barge.

You just might have something with this windbag lead.

Gentlemen, no need to thank me

for my terrific "Tie up the bag of winds" idea.

Now, as the most seasoned and best-looking sailor

on board this vessel, I hearby declare myself captain.

That's right... skipper, the big cheese, "Made it, ma," top of the world.

- Which way do we go, captain? - Questions already, Hercules?

Well, I'm gonna tell you something, and I'm gonna tell you once.

I will not have my authority challenged in this manner.

There's a word for that, and the word is mutiny!

Do you hear that?

Those voices, they're so... inviting...

alluring... enchanting.

Yeah, nice singing.

Oh, my gosh! The sirens!

Hey, don't listen!

The... The Odyssey says that the sirens use their voices

to lure sailors into crashing on the rocks.

A mighty snappy tune. I like it.

Plus, they're babes.

As the beekeeper of the Argo,

you must've made lots of beeswax.

Beeswax?

I never leave home without it.

I'm clearly the one with appreciation for the arts.

Let me just say... here I come, ladies!

Make a hole. Make it wide. Step aside.

We've got to plug our ears.

What... ooh.

Here, you're the only one strong enough to stop the rest of us.

Let me go, please.

Have you no decency, man?

Yes, certainly, they've lured many a sailor to a watery grave,

but they could change.

And I, for one, happen to think they deserve that chance.

How many of you are with me? A couple of you.

They move me.

Hey, hey, come on! Let me out of here!

Let me go. I'm fine. I mean it.

Uh, sorry, can't hear you.

Say, by the way, who's steering the ship?

No, really, that actually just... suddenly... who...

Let's see, one, two, three, and there's him.

No one is steering the... Hercules!

No one is steering the ship!

It's no use. Your pleas just aren't getting through.

Ah! We're gonna sink! It's all over!

My whole life is flashing in front of my eyes!

I love you, ladies. I still love you.

Aaah!

Why didn't you guys say something?

Hey, where's Vic?

Vic!

Ah, nothing like a refreshing swim to perk you right up.

I hate you.

We're stuck on a rocky island

in the middle of Zeus only knows where...

No food, no water, no food, no compass, no food.

Have I mentioned food?

We could build a raft and sail back to civilization.

Do you love the boy? He has the best ideas.

I'm telling you... I... I love him, and I love every idea he gets.

Let me just ask you this, junior... ever hear of an ax?

We have no tools!

Hey, hero rule number 74 says, "Always be ready to improvise."

There's the logs... And here's the tools.

Mmm, I'm getting a hernia just watching.

OK, now we're talking, let that be a lesson to you naysayers

who don't know the value of a good idea.

All right, now, Hercules, you build the raft.

I, of course, will be the captain.

Uh, Vic, you and the answer man here

go scrounge us up some eats.

Aye, aye, captain.

I always liked him.

Timber.

By extrapolating from the trajectory

of that ship when it blew away, I believe we're on the right course.

Now, this, uh, Odyssey of yours is an unbelievable story.

Yes, yes. It was quite amazing.

No, no, no, I'm saying I don't believe it, not a word.

I don't know who's worse... The lying father or the punk son.

Hey, we're in luck.

Somebody must've made this path.

Oh, somebody big.

I'm sure they won't mind sharing their food,

nothing like island hospitality.

Hello?! Anybody home?

Sir, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

Oh, posh! I'm sure they won't mind if we look inside.

Hey, this is some spread.

They sure grow them big out here.

Aaah!

You don't know the half of it.

Hello, there.

The name's Vic. I'm from Athens,

well, not Athens proper, a suburb actually.

Uh, hope you don't mind us barging in like this.

Ha ha ha. Dinner!

What did I tell you? Island hospitality.

Thank you, sir.

That was a warm invitation, but our friends are waiting.

If we could just borrow a little food.

Forgive me if I was being obtuse.

I am not inviting you to dinner.

Rather, I will be eating you for dinner.

I got that.

Real smart, pint-size. Who are you?

I'm nobody, sir.

Ah, finished.

Not bad.

Yes, and as usual, potent leadership was the key.

Now, all we need are those yahoos with the food.

They've been gone a long time. I'm gonna go look for them.

So... who's going to be first...

Vic from the suburbs or little nobody?

You! Ow! Knock it off!

Ow! Nobody is blinding me!

Nobody is blinding me!

So nobody's blinding him. What's the big deal?

He's just trying to get attention.

Nobody's listening, you big baby!

Hold still, you little pest!

Oh, sheep.

Wait a minute. I don't have any sheep.

Aah, run away!

- Let's go! - Ahh!

Run! Let's get out of here! Please! Quick!

How hard can it be to find some lousy fruit?

Do I have to do everything myself?

Aah! Cyclopses! Aah!

Dinners-es!

Hurry! Faster! Faster! Run for your life!

Hey, come back here!

- Aah! - Aah!

You know, the plural of cyclops is cyclopes,

not "cyclopses."

- Yeah? - I like to be precise.

All right, Mr. Dictionary, to be precise...

We're doomed!

I concur.

I got dibs on the pudgy one.

- Ugh! - Huh?

Come on. Get on.

Get him!

I'm not sure he's thought this through completely.

Whoa!

Aaaah!

And don't come back!

Cops have a sixth sense for trouble.

And right now, mine's all tingly.

Ditto for my woman's intuition.

Yes, I have the feeling that I've been in this place before.

Ah, blast! I wish I could see through this fog.

It's the domain of Scylla and Charybdis!

We must turn around!

Slow down, chief. I have to spell it for my report.

We must turn around!

We don't have the oar power to turn back against the current.

Oh, this is bad!

- How bad? - Bad!

Why anybody ever leaves the city-state limits is beyond me.

It's the passage between Scylla and Charybdis.

- Who? - You guys really need to read that scroll.

Looks like we're being sucked into the mouth of a toothy whirlpool.

What now, smart guy?

We steer straight and call upon the gods for help.

Caught between a monster, and a vicious whirlpool...

Now, that's a toughie.

Now that is one funky monster.

You'll go hungry today, monster.

Paddle! Paddle!

Telemachus?

Mother?

Hello, dear.

Mother, what are you doing here?

Uh, ironically, we came to save you.

Herc, my parents are being sucked into Charybdis!

It's up to you to save them, Telemachus.

You can do it!

All right, change course.

We're heading for the whirlpool.

Hey, kid, if you think I'm putting myself in danger

just to save your...

rich, king, father who's sure to give me a big reward...

Here we come, Your Highness!

Make the check payable to Lynceus! That's with a "Y".

Take my hand, mother.

Go on, ma'am, hurry.

You're next.

What about you?

If I let go, we'll be sucked right down.

Save yourself, man!

I take back those things I said.

You're OK in my scroll.

Father, let go of the tiller and grab the rope.

I'll be sucked into the whirlpool.

Trust me, Dad! Grab a hold of me!

Telemachus dear, you've blossomed.

Aaah!

Odysseus!

You got him!

Thank you, son. You saved me.

You're not the only one. He saved us all.

Yes, sir, he did. He absolutely did.

B... But, wait... He learned a great deal on this voyage...

from the captain if I may say,

a great teacher of lessons... Captain Lynceus with a "Y".

If we get out of this, you always have a job in Ithaca.

You too, Butes.

I'm a beekeeper.

Isn't that interesting?

Herc!

I'm very proud of you, son.

You have to tell me all about your odyssey.

I'd love to, father.

Did someone say "father"?

Father.

Nice timing.

I've been looking all over for you, son. Ha!

Can I give you a lift?

You must be Odysseus.

Ah, loved your scroll.

It's the hot read on Olympus.

I'm honored, Oh Mighty Zeus.

Allow me to introduce my son, Telemachus.

You must be very proud.

I truly am.

Doesn't he just give you fits sometimes?

Don't even get me started.