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♪ Who put the
"glad" in Gladiator? ♪
2
00:00:10,583 --> 00:00:11,917
♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,542
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:16,291
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,375 --> 00:00:17,583
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:18,500
♪ No one braver ♪
7
00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:19,709
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
8
00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:21,792
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
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00:00:21,875 --> 00:00:23,875
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:25,709
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
11
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:26,709
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,792 --> 00:00:29,000
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:29,083 --> 00:00:31,917
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,583
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
15
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,125
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
16
00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,583
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
17
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:37,750
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
18
00:00:37,834 --> 00:00:39,166
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
19
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:40,709
♪ No complainin' ♪
20
00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:41,875
♪ He was a no one ♪
21
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:43,542
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
22
00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:44,750
♪ He's our hero ♪
23
00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:48,083
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
24
00:00:48,166 --> 00:00:49,500
♪ From zero to hero ♪
25
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,959
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
26
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:57,875
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
27
00:00:57,959 --> 00:00:59,625
Wait and see!
28
00:01:10,917 --> 00:01:11,834
What is that?
29
00:01:11,917 --> 00:01:14,000
I just serve 'em, sonny.
30
00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:19,375
Ew! Looks kind of gross!
31
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:25,166
Don't you even think it!
32
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,417
What is with everybody today?
33
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,333
It's like cupid
went nuts in here.
34
00:01:32,417 --> 00:01:34,667
He did. You just missed it.
35
00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:36,667
Thank Zeus I had a shield.
36
00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:40,291
Oh, man! I'm always missing out.
37
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:41,375
Haven't we done this
38
00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:43,875
whole no-girlfriend
pity-party thing before?
39
00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,333
Herc, take a tip from Dr. Love.
40
00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,792
You can't force the romance.
41
00:01:49,875 --> 00:01:52,041
Physician, heal thyself.
42
00:01:52,709 --> 00:01:54,458
What? Am I sick?
43
00:01:54,542 --> 00:01:56,458
More than you know, but go on.
44
00:01:56,542 --> 00:01:59,333
Right. You can't put
love in a headlock
45
00:01:59,417 --> 00:02:01,625
and just wrestle it down.
46
00:02:01,709 --> 00:02:04,458
You got to let love come to you.
47
00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:05,542
Before you know it,
48
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,166
that special someone
will fall right into your lap.
49
00:02:10,125 --> 00:02:12,000
Oh!
50
00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:14,559
Well, I was thinking
of someone less scaly,
51
00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:17,625
but what counts is
that you two are happy.
52
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:32,625
Hi.
53
00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:35,166
Hey.
54
00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:36,333
Ugh!
55
00:02:44,667 --> 00:02:45,792
Whoa!
56
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:47,250
Got you.
57
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,375
Ooh, big man...
58
00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:52,250
Your heroics beat the
sea snake into submission,
59
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,542
but that's how the city-state
60
00:02:53,625 --> 00:02:55,583
maintains the balance
of power, isn't it?
61
00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:58,208
Heroes keep the sea
snakes in line, right?
62
00:02:58,291 --> 00:03:00,875
Uh yeah.
63
00:03:00,959 --> 00:03:02,959
And... a-and I caught you, too.
64
00:03:03,041 --> 00:03:05,125
A word to the wise, hero...
65
00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:07,583
I'm no damsel in distress.
66
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,667
Oh, wow!
67
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,667
She's awesome.
68
00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:16,250
Get her out of your mind.
You're not Electra's type.
69
00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:18,583
Electra? Y-you know her?
70
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:21,583
Yeah. She's a transfer
student from Macedonia.
71
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,417
Ooh, Macedonia...
72
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:27,000
Home of grunge poetry and
the pomegranate-juice craze.
73
00:03:27,083 --> 00:03:28,166
Edgy.
74
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,667
Oh, y-you got to
introduce me! Please!
75
00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:33,959
Bad idea. Electra would never
go for a wonder boy like you.
76
00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:35,625
She's not into that.
77
00:03:35,709 --> 00:03:37,875
Well, what is she into?
78
00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:41,291
The pummeled pomegranate...
It's an underground club.
79
00:03:41,375 --> 00:03:42,500
I hang here a lot.
80
00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:44,333
What? I've never been here.
81
00:03:44,417 --> 00:03:46,959
I like to think of it as
my home away from you.
82
00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:51,458
Whoa!
83
00:03:51,542 --> 00:03:55,417
Somebody needs to turn
these frowns upside down!
84
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,542
If I had to call
this song anything,
85
00:03:57,625 --> 00:04:00,041
I think I'd name it
"dirge of a broken lute,"
86
00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:01,250
you know what I mean?
87
00:04:01,333 --> 00:04:02,643
But I don't like
names, you know?
88
00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:04,500
They're just too
limiting, you know?
89
00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,500
I don't like fences, you know?
90
00:04:06,583 --> 00:04:09,375
Oh, yeah, this reaches me.
91
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:13,333
Groove to the scene, man,
but don't bogart the vibe.
92
00:04:13,417 --> 00:04:14,792
Let us all ride it.
93
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:17,083
I can't understand a
word they're saying.
94
00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:19,750
Aw, Herc, you just
have to know their lingo.
95
00:04:19,834 --> 00:04:22,500
Watch and learn,
baby. Watch and learn.
96
00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:26,333
Argh, Matey!
97
00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:29,834
Me hearties be lookin'
for a spot of bilge water.
98
00:04:29,917 --> 00:04:31,834
Can you be directin' us?
99
00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:33,166
♪ Yargh hargh-a-larg argh... ♪
100
00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:35,458
What's the story with this dork?
101
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:37,041
♪ Yargh g-g-gaye ♪
102
00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:40,125
Oh sorry. We just, uh... sorry.
103
00:04:40,208 --> 00:04:43,125
Unhand me, you scurvy dog!
104
00:04:43,208 --> 00:04:45,500
♪ Hargh-a-larg argh
G-g-gargh ga-lee gaye ♪
105
00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:49,458
Cassandra, the damsel
of doom. The usual?
106
00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:50,375
Sure.
107
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:51,667
♪ Hargh-a-larg argh... ♪
108
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,458
What? You have a usual?
109
00:04:53,542 --> 00:04:55,125
Who are the wannabes?
110
00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:57,542
Stoolies here to check
out the Electra scene.
111
00:04:57,625 --> 00:04:59,208
Two more juices for them.
112
00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:00,208
Got it.
113
00:05:00,291 --> 00:05:03,667
Three tall pummeled
pomegranates, hold the seeds.
114
00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,417
Um, excuse me, ma'am,
instead of pomegranate juice,
115
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,000
could I please just have
a glass of milk instead?
116
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:12,000
Pfft! Helps you build
strong bones, right?
117
00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:14,959
Yeah. I'm a hero in
training, you know?
118
00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:16,959
Eh, whatever. Pfft!
119
00:05:17,041 --> 00:05:18,625
Did I say something wrong?
120
00:05:19,834 --> 00:05:24,375
Look... Here heroes are
nerds, squares, dweebs.
121
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,625
Gee! Really?
122
00:05:26,709 --> 00:05:29,583
Thanks for proving my point.
123
00:05:29,667 --> 00:05:31,625
Look, if you want
to make this scene,
124
00:05:31,709 --> 00:05:34,500
you got to tone down the
"power of positive thinking" routine.
125
00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:36,000
Oh, I can do that!
126
00:05:36,083 --> 00:05:38,625
I-I am so grim. I am.
127
00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:43,709
Thar she blows!
128
00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:44,959
It's Electra!
129
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,542
S-should I go over there,
130
00:05:46,625 --> 00:05:48,601
or should I send a pomegranate
juice over to her table?
131
00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:49,625
What do I do?
132
00:05:49,709 --> 00:05:51,291
You kick yourself.
133
00:05:51,375 --> 00:05:52,709
Kick myself? Why?
134
00:05:52,792 --> 00:05:54,291
Because you're too late.
135
00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:55,792
Electra...
136
00:05:55,875 --> 00:05:58,750
It bums me to see
you sitting here alone.
137
00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:00,333
We're all alone.
138
00:06:00,417 --> 00:06:02,667
It's the nature of
this cruel existence.
139
00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:07,000
Well, maybe we could
try being alone together.
140
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:09,000
Oh, man!
141
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:13,291
No, see, I like the kind of
alone where I'm actually alone.
142
00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:14,375
Really?
143
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:18,125
We'll give it another 45
minutes just to make sure.
144
00:06:18,208 --> 00:06:19,500
I don't think she likes him.
145
00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:21,583
Oh, come on, Electra.
146
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:25,875
Maybe we can find some meaning
in this meaningless universe...
147
00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:27,125
Together.
148
00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:30,375
I happen to like my
universe meaningless.
149
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:32,041
Now step off.
150
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,291
That guy just doesn't get it.
151
00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:36,208
Ix-nay on the Ero-hay.
152
00:06:36,291 --> 00:06:39,500
Electra doesn't dig the "knight
in shining chiton" routine.
153
00:06:40,917 --> 00:06:44,083
Well, if the universe
has no meaning,
154
00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:47,417
then there's no
meaning in the word "no."
155
00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:51,250
Then try these
words... bail, loser!
156
00:06:53,166 --> 00:06:55,291
Ugh! Wicked storm!
157
00:07:02,125 --> 00:07:04,542
Hey, everybody, fury attack!
158
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:09,291
Uh, not that I care or anything.
159
00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:10,542
I can't ignore this.
160
00:07:10,625 --> 00:07:12,542
You guys stay
here where it's safe.
161
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:16,041
Aye, Matey!
Keelhaul the lot of 'em!
162
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:18,166
Um, he's visiting from Persia.
163
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:23,917
Furies, as a hero in
training, I order you...
164
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,625
Hey, let me go!
165
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,208
Whoa!
166
00:07:44,417 --> 00:07:45,458
Huh?
167
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:47,792
Ow! Hey!
168
00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:48,959
Cut it out!
169
00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:50,417
Stop it! Ugh!
170
00:07:52,125 --> 00:07:53,208
That wasn't so hard.
171
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,375
Oh, great.
172
00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:11,417
Ahhh!
173
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:15,000
Aye, that be a
fruity eye-opener!
174
00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:16,875
♪ Hargh-a-larg argh
G-g-gaye ga-dee gaye... ♪
175
00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:19,041
I'll never show my
face here again.
176
00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:21,500
Psst, Cassandra, Icarus!
177
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:24,333
What are you doing?
178
00:08:24,417 --> 00:08:25,917
I'm a mess.
179
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,959
Electra can't see me like this.
Come on, come on, we got to go.
180
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:30,291
Hey, cool threads.
181
00:08:30,375 --> 00:08:33,417
Where'd you get them,
secondhand, twice as nice?
182
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,417
No, I don't buy used clothes!
183
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,542
Remember? She's not
impressed with the impressive stuff.
184
00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:43,000
Go get her, you salty sea dog!
185
00:08:43,792 --> 00:08:47,834
Uh, I mean... Why
shop, uh, secondhand
186
00:08:47,917 --> 00:08:51,625
when you can find, like, so
many good clothes in the garbage?
187
00:08:51,709 --> 00:08:53,291
I'm Hercules.
188
00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:54,208
Yeah. Electra.
189
00:08:54,291 --> 00:08:55,959
Uh, listen, I go to Prometheus.
190
00:08:56,041 --> 00:08:58,542
It's a pretty oppressive
tool of the system... I know...
191
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,792
But maybe I'll see
you there sometime.
192
00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:04,500
Oh, that'd be... Uh,
you know, OK, I guess,
193
00:09:04,583 --> 00:09:06,917
You know, if nothing
else comes up, maybe.
194
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,583
OK, cool, maybe.
195
00:09:10,542 --> 00:09:12,250
Batten down the hatches!
196
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:15,333
Full speed ahead
for love, Matey!
197
00:09:15,417 --> 00:09:16,625
That was pretty good.
198
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:18,291
You looked really
tormented there.
199
00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:20,417
I know, I know,
I sensed it, too!
200
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:23,542
It felt so wrong, it
just had to be right!
201
00:09:23,625 --> 00:09:26,166
Oh, come on, she's as
good as yours, buddy!
202
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:28,792
All you have to do
is not be yourself.
203
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:34,667
What do you think, guys?
204
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:36,250
Huh.
205
00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:38,125
Uh, go like this.
206
00:09:38,208 --> 00:09:41,000
You got a little olive
spread on your chin.
207
00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:44,041
It's not olive spread,
Icarus, it's a goatee!
208
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:47,166
Facial hair is a
sign of edginess.
209
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,333
Actually, it's a
sign of puberty.
210
00:09:49,417 --> 00:09:51,166
Hercules, I don't need a vision
211
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,667
to tell me this
isn't a good idea.
212
00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:55,792
Hey, wait, here she comes!
213
00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:59,750
Better wipe that
interested look off your face.
214
00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:05,125
Hey, Hercules, right?
215
00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:06,125
I guess.
216
00:10:06,208 --> 00:10:07,709
Help me out here...
I'm doing a show
217
00:10:07,792 --> 00:10:10,458
at the pummeled pomegranate,
and on the off chance
218
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,750
that anyone here is
cool enough to handle it,
219
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,625
I want to put these posters up.
220
00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,291
Well, that's against
school rules.
221
00:10:16,375 --> 00:10:18,375
I know. How cool is that?
222
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,625
We'll chip away at the
corrupt school administration
223
00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:22,834
from within their own walls.
224
00:10:23,041 --> 00:10:24,125
Radical, huh?
225
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:27,291
Uh, yeah, radical.
226
00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:30,166
Miss Electra, Mr. Hercules,
227
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,917
The rules are very clear...
228
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,709
Or at least this one is... No
unapproved signs in the halls
229
00:10:35,792 --> 00:10:37,250
or anywhere else,
for that matter.
230
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:38,750
Yeah, we know.
231
00:10:38,834 --> 00:10:40,959
Uh, what she said.
232
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:45,125
Still, I suppose I can allow
some leniency... this time.
233
00:10:45,208 --> 00:10:46,875
Take down the
posters, get a shave,
234
00:10:46,959 --> 00:10:49,583
and I'll overlook the
whole incident... Probably.
235
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:51,500
Phew!
236
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,041
That was close.
237
00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:54,875
Oppressive tyrant.
238
00:10:55,709 --> 00:10:58,875
Pardon me? Would you care
to repeat that, young lady?
239
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,041
I'd be glad to.
240
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:02,625
I called you an
oppressive tyrant.
241
00:11:02,709 --> 00:11:05,709
You treat us like we have
no right to free expression.
242
00:11:05,792 --> 00:11:06,667
Well, you don't.
243
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,309
You might've thought
you did, but you don't...
244
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:10,208
Not on school grounds. Sorry.
245
00:11:10,291 --> 00:11:13,417
Uh, Electra, maybe we
should just let this go, huh?
246
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,208
No, no, the system
uses its rules
247
00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:19,542
to suppress an
artistic voice like mine.
248
00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:22,166
If this is what your
artistic voice has to say,
249
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:23,690
then it deserves
to be suppressed...
250
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,041
Immediately if not sooner.
251
00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:27,208
Yeah, yeah, just
the answer I'd expect
252
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:31,083
from the corrupt
establishment's excuse of a man.
253
00:11:41,792 --> 00:11:42,875
Again?
254
00:11:42,959 --> 00:11:46,000
Without rules, this school
would be completely overrun
255
00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:49,041
with common criminals, not
to mention substandard art.
256
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:52,875
I would think you of all people
would know this, Mr. Hercules.
257
00:11:52,959 --> 00:11:56,208
Um... what I know or don't know
258
00:11:56,291 --> 00:11:58,375
doesn't change what
you know I know, right?
259
00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:01,291
So, like why say what I know?
260
00:12:01,417 --> 00:12:02,834
Exactly. Besides, you know what?
261
00:12:02,917 --> 00:12:04,667
This school could
use a little anarchy.
262
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:07,500
Do you have any idea
what you're suggesting?
263
00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:14,667
Aaah!
264
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:19,583
Aaah!
265
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,166
I got to watch for that move.
266
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,500
Oh, I can't believe that!
267
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,959
That is just the kind of
wigged-out statement I'd expect
268
00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:44,709
from a sellout like
you, right, Hercules?
269
00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:48,000
Uh... what I feel or don't feel
270
00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,792
doesn't change what
you feel I'm feeling, right?
271
00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,875
So... So why say what I feel?
272
00:12:52,959 --> 00:12:54,667
Don't drag him into this.
273
00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:56,875
Hercules is generally
a model student...
274
00:12:56,959 --> 00:12:58,500
Clumsiness not withstanding.
275
00:13:22,875 --> 00:13:25,417
OK, buddy, go on, go
on, tear down our posters!
276
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,458
I don't care, because
you know what?
277
00:13:27,542 --> 00:13:32,458
You will never, ever crush
our spirit, right, Hercules?
278
00:13:32,542 --> 00:13:33,875
I think I might agree with that.
279
00:13:33,959 --> 00:13:36,959
If you want spirit in school,
become a cheerleader...
280
00:13:37,041 --> 00:13:38,834
If you can muster
the cheer, that is.
281
00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:45,166
All I'm asking...
and it's not much...
282
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,834
Is that you act like a
courteous school citizen.
283
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:51,166
Well, then you know what? I
reject my school citizenship.
284
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:52,417
Just deport me.
285
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,667
I've had quite enough...
And a little more even then.
286
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:58,375
You two will spend all
of next week in detention.
287
00:13:58,417 --> 00:14:00,377
That should nip your
extremist notions in the bud.
288
00:14:00,417 --> 00:14:01,875
Whatever.
289
00:14:01,959 --> 00:14:04,000
Well, then good day.
290
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:06,333
And so ends the great
leniency experiment.
291
00:14:06,458 --> 00:14:09,875
Oh, man! Phil's gonna kill me.
292
00:14:09,959 --> 00:14:12,458
Detention? This is perfect.
293
00:14:12,542 --> 00:14:14,709
We'll be martyrs for the
cause of artistic rights.
294
00:14:14,792 --> 00:14:16,917
It's a badge of honor, Hercules.
295
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,250
You know, you are so cool
296
00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:23,000
for having the courage
to stand up to the man.
297
00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:26,083
Uh, yeah, I stood all right.
298
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,834
You did. Hercules, you did.
299
00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:31,250
So, look, will you be
at my show tonight?
300
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,417
If only hope weren't
a useless emotion,
301
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,917
I'd hope you'd be there.
302
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,166
Yeah... I-I mean, uh, you
know, I might make the scene.
303
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:39,917
I don't know. We'll see.
304
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,125
Cool. I'll see you
there... maybe.
305
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:46,834
Herc, what's happening,
my fury-fighting friend?
306
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:50,250
Only the most unprecedented
event in modern history...
307
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:53,250
A girl asked me on a date!
308
00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:56,250
Hey, outstanding, my man...
309
00:14:56,333 --> 00:15:01,291
Or as the club kids
might say, "Argh, Matey!"
310
00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:03,625
And all you had to do was
deny everything you're about.
311
00:15:03,709 --> 00:15:05,250
Electra doesn't like you,
312
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:07,208
she likes what you're
pretending to be.
313
00:15:07,291 --> 00:15:10,166
Oh, pish posh...
Mere technicalities.
314
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,667
All I know is it's working.
Why mess with it?
315
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:15,250
Yeah? There I go,
making sense again,
316
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:16,875
Just like every
other time I warn you
317
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,834
that you're doing something
that invariably turns out stupid.
318
00:15:19,917 --> 00:15:23,291
She actually asked me out!
319
00:15:23,375 --> 00:15:26,375
Yes, sir! That's right, baby!
320
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:30,000
You are a love machine!
321
00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:44,000
There's precious little in
this miserable existence
322
00:15:44,083 --> 00:15:46,125
that doesn't make me sick.
323
00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:48,583
Hercules is one of those things.
324
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:50,458
This poem is for him.
325
00:15:50,542 --> 00:15:52,041
She likes me!
326
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:56,625
I am the antihero. I
ask, "Who wouldn't be?"
327
00:15:56,709 --> 00:16:01,208
Their triumphs equal zero.
Their ships get lost at sea.
328
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:04,792
Jason chased a hopeless
quest, Achilles was a heel.
329
00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:06,667
If Perseus was the best,
330
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:09,417
then, my friend, we
need a whole new deal.
331
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,893
Uh-oh, we're losing Herc.
332
00:16:11,917 --> 00:16:14,750
The clashing, the
bashing, the thrashing...
333
00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:18,750
And when it's all done,
tell me, who has lost...
334
00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:21,458
And who has truly won?
335
00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:25,417
I'll tell you who
wins... you do.
336
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,417
Heroes put their lives
on the line every day
337
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,875
so you can sit around
sipping your sour juice
338
00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:31,583
and talk like a bunch of freaks.
339
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:33,500
The least you could
do is be grateful.
340
00:16:33,583 --> 00:16:35,583
Hercules, what are
you talking about?
341
00:16:35,667 --> 00:16:38,500
I'm talking about this
whole scene, Electra.
342
00:16:38,583 --> 00:16:40,125
I guess I just don't get it.
343
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:41,834
I mean, it's the
middle of the night
344
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,041
and I'm wearing sunglasses!
345
00:16:44,125 --> 00:16:46,583
I wanted you to like me,
but you want some guy
346
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:50,041
who thinks everything
stinks, not a hero in training.
347
00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:52,542
Hero in training?
348
00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:55,959
You're one of those
muscle-bound Jacksandaled thugs
349
00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:59,083
who struts around on
a pretty white horse?
350
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:02,417
Well, actually, I fly
around on a white horse.
351
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,083
Look, I'm sorry.
352
00:17:05,166 --> 00:17:07,041
I should have leveled
with you sooner.
353
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:10,208
That might have been the
thing to do, instead of lying!
354
00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:12,125
I just thought that if
you got to know me...
355
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:14,125
Yeah? Well, how is
that supposed to happen
356
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:16,875
when you're acting
like somebody else?
357
00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:26,667
Furies? Again?
358
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,750
I mean, again again?
359
00:17:28,834 --> 00:17:33,375
Avast, ye Matey, it be
time to abandon ship!
360
00:17:41,375 --> 00:17:42,750
Oh, darn it!
361
00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:45,834
There goes another one of
Herc's crushes down the drain!
362
00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:49,291
Oh! Why can't he find
a perfect love like ours?
363
00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:52,959
Just lucky, I guess.
364
00:17:53,083 --> 00:17:55,542
Angst from above! Help!
365
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:58,208
OK, gang, we are
under a fury attack.
366
00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,917
Now, I need everyone
to form a single-file line
367
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,542
in an orderly manner.
368
00:18:02,625 --> 00:18:04,542
Hello? Guys?
369
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:08,375
Wow, you're really a reassuring
presence to the masses.
370
00:18:09,709 --> 00:18:11,208
Hey, what are you doing?
371
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,959
Let me go, you overbearing
tool of oppression!
372
00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:16,250
Electra, you don't believe
heroes are good guys?
373
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,917
Well, I'm gonna show
you how wrong you are.
374
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:21,709
No, wait!
375
00:18:25,917 --> 00:18:28,250
I know you think heroes are
a bunch of dumb lunkheads
376
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,851
who never think about
what they're doing,
377
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:31,959
But that is just not true!
378
00:18:32,041 --> 00:18:35,250
Hercules, put me
down! I don't want to go!
379
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:39,959
Sorry, Electra. This
is for your own safety.
380
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,542
See? I know what I'm doing.
381
00:18:48,625 --> 00:18:51,208
No, you don't, glory
boy! These are my...
382
00:18:51,291 --> 00:18:52,291
Duck!
383
00:18:54,291 --> 00:18:55,667
Yahoo!
384
00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:58,083
Ha ha! See? Isn't this more fun
385
00:18:58,166 --> 00:19:01,166
than hanging out in
some dark, dank club?
386
00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:02,500
No, it's not, Hercules!
387
00:19:02,583 --> 00:19:06,125
Read my lips... These
furies are... whoa!
388
00:19:09,083 --> 00:19:12,333
They keep coming after me.
Must be because I'm a hero.
389
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:15,250
Oh, yeah, right, it's
all about you, isn't it?
390
00:19:36,667 --> 00:19:40,000
Now, aren't you glad a
hero like me was around
391
00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:42,959
to save you from
those vicious monsters?
392
00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:43,917
Thrilled.
393
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:45,959
Look around, hero.
394
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:47,959
Uh-oh.
395
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:51,083
Don't worry, Electra, I'll
protect you till my last breath.
396
00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:53,875
Ugh! You just don't get it!
397
00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:58,917
They're not after
me, they're my furies!
398
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,458
They come from me!
My anger creates them!
399
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:08,375
But the first time
they attacked was...
400
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:10,375
When that jerk hit on you.
401
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,583
And the next time
402
00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:14,583
was when Mr. Parenthesis
took down your posters.
403
00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:16,041
This is me?
404
00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:18,375
Bingo. This is you.
405
00:20:18,458 --> 00:20:20,208
You're this mad?
406
00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:21,208
Oh, yeah.
407
00:20:21,291 --> 00:20:23,709
So a good thing for me to do
408
00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:26,083
would be maybe
let you calm down?
409
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:29,750
You know what? You're
not even worth my rage.
410
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:35,542
Look, um, if you
see me at school,
411
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:38,375
please act like
you don't know me.
412
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:39,750
Electra, wait.
413
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,291
You've got a darkness in you.
414
00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:45,709
It's bad, but we can beat
it... You and me, together.
415
00:20:45,792 --> 00:20:47,083
Hello! Ding-dong!
416
00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:50,959
Did it ever occur to you
that I might like my furies?
417
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,792
They give me my edge.
418
00:20:52,875 --> 00:20:57,000
They're what separates me
from sunny little squares like you.
419
00:20:57,542 --> 00:21:00,291
Well, if looking for ways to
make a positive difference
420
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:03,542
in the world makes me a
square, then... then so be it!
421
00:21:03,625 --> 00:21:05,667
I'm happy being a square!
422
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:06,959
Good, good! That's great!
423
00:21:07,041 --> 00:21:08,417
I'm real happy
for you, Hercules,
424
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,458
because that's what you are!
425
00:21:13,291 --> 00:21:14,333
Ouch.
426
00:21:14,417 --> 00:21:17,166
Well, fight to get
the girl, get the girl.
427
00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,500
Fight to lose the
girl, lose the girl.
428
00:21:19,583 --> 00:21:22,500
Fight the tears
because you lost the girl.
429
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,083
Man, you are one complex hero!
430
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:27,166
I know.
431
00:21:27,208 --> 00:21:31,083
I guess I should just
keep it simple, be myself,
432
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:32,750
and someone's bound to like me,
433
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,834
and it's not a total loss.
434
00:21:34,917 --> 00:21:37,208
My home away from
Icarus was destroyed.
435
00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:39,667
In what way is
this not a total loss?
436
00:21:39,792 --> 00:21:41,500
I met some different
kind of people,
437
00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:45,041
Heard some kooky
poetry, fought some furies.
438
00:21:45,125 --> 00:21:46,959
It was fun while it lasted.
439
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:49,542
You can put a positive
spin on anything, can't you?
440
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:51,750
What can I say? That's just me.
441
00:21:51,834 --> 00:21:53,917
Or as the club kids might say,
442
00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:57,291
"Yargh, laddie, stay the course
through the furious squalls!"
443
00:21:57,375 --> 00:21:58,500
Yargh!
444
00:21:58,583 --> 00:22:01,667
Yeah, that's just
what they might say.
445
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,834
Mutiny says ye!
446
00:22:03,917 --> 00:22:07,375
To the brig with all you
lily-livered swabbies!
447
00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:09,792
♪ Hargh-a-lee yargh
g-g-gargh ga-lee gay ♪
448
00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:11,834
♪ Hargh-a-lee yargh
g-g-gaye ga-dee gaye ♪
449
00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:13,917
♪ Ho-ga-lee go-ga-lee
gaye ga-dee gay... ♪
32522
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