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♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
2
00:00:10,542 --> 00:00:12,291
♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:12,375 --> 00:00:14,375
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,458 --> 00:00:16,250
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:18,333
- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪
6
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:21,750
- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
7
00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:23,834
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
8
00:00:23,917 --> 00:00:25,667
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
9
00:00:25,750 --> 00:00:26,667
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
10
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:29,083
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
11
00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:31,625
♪ Hercules ♪
12
00:00:31,709 --> 00:00:33,542
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
13
00:00:33,625 --> 00:00:35,083
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
14
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:36,458
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
15
00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:37,709
♪ Smart and shy ♪
16
00:00:37,792 --> 00:00:40,291
- ♪ And the nicest guy ♪
- ♪ No complainin' ♪
17
00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:41,500
♪ He was a no one ♪
18
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,143
♪ Zero, zero ♪
♪ Give him a quick deed ♪
19
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:44,709
♪ He's our hero ♪
20
00:00:44,792 --> 00:00:48,417
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
21
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,125
♪ From zero to hero ♪
22
00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:52,542
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
23
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:57,417
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
24
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,208
Wait and see!
25
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:10,709
To me that cloud up there
26
00:01:10,792 --> 00:01:12,000
looks like a hydra
27
00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:13,917
being slain by a brave hero.
28
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,333
Hmm. Interesting.
29
00:01:15,417 --> 00:01:17,166
Ooh. That one
over there looks like
30
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,291
a field of wildflowers
31
00:01:19,375 --> 00:01:21,834
in which me and my
sweet Cassie of the valley
32
00:01:21,917 --> 00:01:24,291
are having a romantic
picnic together.
33
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:27,208
Ugh. And I'm supposed to be
the one who sees grim visions.
34
00:01:27,375 --> 00:01:28,959
Hercules?
35
00:01:29,083 --> 00:01:30,667
Helen, what's the matter?
36
00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:32,959
It's Adonis. I'm
worried about him.
37
00:01:33,041 --> 00:01:34,709
Welcome to the human race.
38
00:01:34,792 --> 00:01:37,208
Did he pull down your
chiton in gym class, too?
39
00:01:37,291 --> 00:01:38,458
Oh, no, silly.
40
00:01:38,542 --> 00:01:41,375
- He's been out of school for a week.
- Is he sick?
41
00:01:41,458 --> 00:01:42,518
No, no, his servants endure
42
00:01:42,542 --> 00:01:43,542
all his diseases.
43
00:01:43,583 --> 00:01:46,291
I'm afraid something
is really wrong.
44
00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:47,917
Uh, you folks know
where I can find
45
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,083
a, uh, heracles?
46
00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:52,041
Uh, Hercules?
47
00:01:52,125 --> 00:01:54,208
- Oh, yeah. My mistake.
- I'm Hercules.
48
00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:57,000
All right. Beautiful. Sign here.
49
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,000
That's one of Adonis' servants.
50
00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:05,083
"To my bosom buddy Hercules.
51
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,000
Just a note to remind you
52
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:09,125
how much I value
your friendship."
53
00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:11,417
Oh, isn't that sweet?
54
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,917
What does he want this time?
55
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,500
"You're probably wondering
what I want this time.
56
00:02:15,583 --> 00:02:17,250
It's like this,
57
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:20,417
Help! You must rush to my aid."
58
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,041
Don't listen.
59
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:25,000
"Oh, but brave
Hercules, you must listen.
60
00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:28,500
I've been captured by the
Spartan Officer Training Corp."
61
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:29,959
The Spar-OTC?
62
00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:32,001
They're the elite of the
Spartan military machine.
63
00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:33,500
"The brutes are torturing me.
64
00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:36,125
You're my only hope."
65
00:02:36,208 --> 00:02:38,792
Adonis a prisoner in Sparta?
66
00:02:38,875 --> 00:02:40,333
I've got to rescue him.
67
00:02:40,417 --> 00:02:42,792
Oh, Hercules, thanks.
68
00:02:42,875 --> 00:02:44,291
You're my hero.
69
00:02:44,375 --> 00:02:45,976
Well, Herc will need
a sidekick on this one,
70
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,291
so looks like I'm
off to Sparta, too.
71
00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:51,417
Sparta. Sworn enemy of Athens.
72
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:52,875
Hotbed of brutality.
73
00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:54,917
City of big shoulders. Come on.
74
00:02:58,834 --> 00:03:00,875
Bon voyage. Don't
drink the water.
75
00:03:01,291 --> 00:03:03,625
"I knew I could count on you."
76
00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:05,959
Please don't put
me back in the box.
77
00:03:06,041 --> 00:03:08,041
They put Adonis in a box?
78
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,208
No, that was from me.
79
00:03:09,291 --> 00:03:11,583
It's dark in there.
I don't like it.
80
00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:13,959
Be on guard, Icarus.
81
00:03:14,041 --> 00:03:15,375
Sparta is the most brutal,
82
00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:17,583
war-mongering
city-state there is.
83
00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:19,125
"Welcome to Sparta.
84
00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:22,083
Now go home." Ho.
You are not kidding.
85
00:03:23,875 --> 00:03:26,375
Now we just have to
get in and find Adonis.
86
00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:28,375
Well, lucky for us,
I brought my wings.
87
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,000
I'll just fly over the wall,
88
00:03:30,083 --> 00:03:31,834
open the gate from inside.
89
00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:34,625
No, wait. We can't
risk being discovered.
90
00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:37,542
This calls for a
sneakier approach.
91
00:03:37,625 --> 00:03:38,917
That might be our chance.
92
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,333
Halt. Who goes there?
93
00:03:40,542 --> 00:03:41,750
Laundry delivery.
94
00:03:41,834 --> 00:03:42,834
It's your uniforms.
95
00:03:42,875 --> 00:03:44,917
We got out almost
all of the blood.
96
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,375
Open the gate.
97
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:57,333
That's your uniform, my friend.
98
00:03:57,417 --> 00:03:58,875
Wear it with pride.
99
00:03:58,959 --> 00:04:01,208
Icarus, we're
here to find Adonis.
100
00:04:01,291 --> 00:04:03,875
That's no excuse for
looking sloppy, soldier!
101
00:04:04,208 --> 00:04:05,208
Whoa.
102
00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:08,583
Nifty. Step lively, Herc. Aah!
103
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,417
Would you come on?
104
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:13,959
Potatoes? I could
cook anything with them.
105
00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:16,250
Potato pancakes, potato soup,
106
00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:17,750
potato dumplings,
107
00:04:17,834 --> 00:04:20,875
cheese and potatoes,
raw potatoes, gaul-fried...
108
00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:22,291
Psst. Adonis.
109
00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:24,000
Don't hurt me. Hercules.
110
00:04:24,500 --> 00:04:26,000
Hercules' ferrety little friend.
111
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,917
Thank the gods you've arrived.
112
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,208
I feared the end was near.
113
00:04:30,291 --> 00:04:33,333
Uh, I thought you
were being tortured.
114
00:04:33,417 --> 00:04:35,166
I am. Look at me.
115
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:37,125
Stripped of my royal robes,
116
00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:39,000
forced to wear a common uniform
117
00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:41,333
and march from one end
of this place to another
118
00:04:41,417 --> 00:04:43,000
for no apparent reason.
119
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,333
Only a small cash payment to him
120
00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:48,625
saved my unblemished hands
from the scars of manual labor.
121
00:04:48,709 --> 00:04:51,417
Baked potatoes, mashed potatoes,
122
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,542
- sweet potato pie...
- Get me out of here.
123
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:54,726
Well, what about your father?
124
00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:57,166
I mean, he is the
King of Thrace.
125
00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:59,208
Dadums sent me here.
126
00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:01,417
It was something of a surprise.
127
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,500
What?
128
00:05:03,542 --> 00:05:04,625
That's the way it is, son.
129
00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:06,709
In order to become
King of Thrace,
130
00:05:06,792 --> 00:05:08,792
you must pass
Spartan basic training.
131
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,500
Well, surely one of my
servants can go in my place.
132
00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:12,667
Oh, good thinking.
133
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:13,768
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no. No, no.
134
00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:16,417
I did it and so did my dadums.
135
00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:18,542
It's something of
a family tradition.
136
00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:21,375
But traditions are meant to be
broken. Am I right? Am I right?
137
00:05:21,458 --> 00:05:23,250
Not this time.
138
00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:26,834
Aah! No-o-o-o. Dadums! No!
139
00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:28,815
I took the news
bravely at the time,
140
00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:31,375
but this place is
simply intolerable.
141
00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:33,500
Come on, Icarus. We're leaving.
142
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,500
You can't leave me here alone.
143
00:05:35,583 --> 00:05:36,875
The drill sergeant, Agamemnon,
144
00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:38,125
he's out to get me.
145
00:05:38,208 --> 00:05:40,625
Ten-hut. Well, well.
146
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,750
Sergeant, how nice to see you.
147
00:05:43,834 --> 00:05:46,458
- You look swell.
- Silence!
148
00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:48,667
I ordered you to peel
potatoes, maggot.
149
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:51,291
You will do as I order.
150
00:05:51,375 --> 00:05:53,500
Is that clear?
151
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:55,935
- What is your major malfunction?
- Admiring your medals, sir!
152
00:05:55,959 --> 00:05:57,875
I long to have my own, sir!
153
00:05:57,959 --> 00:05:59,583
Do I know you, soldier?
154
00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:03,750
Just another faceless recruit giving
110% for the glory of Sparta, sir.
155
00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,750
Take a lesson
from this fine recruit,
156
00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:07,208
you pathetic slug.
157
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:11,542
- Him?
- I mean, of course, sir.
158
00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:14,583
I've got my eye
on you, pretty boy.
159
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,834
See? See?
160
00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:19,166
All right, Adonis, I'll
help you, but not to leave.
161
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,875
If you work hard, I'll help
you pass basic training.
162
00:06:22,417 --> 00:06:24,542
In what way can that
be construed as help?
163
00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:26,959
Give a man a fish, and
he can eat for a day.
164
00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:30,709
Teach a man to fish, and
he can eat for a lifetime.
165
00:06:31,709 --> 00:06:33,667
Listen up, mealyworms.
166
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,834
Give a hale and hearty welcome
167
00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:38,583
to the founder and
patron of Sparta,
168
00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:40,792
otherwise known
as the God of War.
169
00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:44,875
Let's clap, and
clap hard, for Ares!
170
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:48,792
You're too kind. Too kind.
171
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:51,291
Please, please. You're
embarrassing me.
172
00:06:53,542 --> 00:06:55,458
Rrr.
173
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:58,625
No, really. That's
enough. Enough.
174
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:01,750
You know, we've got a
saying here at the academy,
175
00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,250
the maggots and
mealyworms of today
176
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:06,750
are the brutal
despots of tomorrow.
177
00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,375
Let me tell you a little story.
178
00:07:08,792 --> 00:07:11,792
Long, long ago I
looked upon this land
179
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,709
and saw a savage wilderness,
180
00:07:13,792 --> 00:07:15,166
but I saw something else, too.
181
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:17,291
I saw the glimmer of a dream,
182
00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:20,834
a dream of senseless
battle, mindless obedience,
183
00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:22,458
and wanton destruction.
184
00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,291
I saw Sparta.
185
00:07:24,375 --> 00:07:25,583
♪ One heck of a guy ♪
186
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:29,125
♪ Benevolent, brave, and bold ♪
187
00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:32,500
♪ Long ago when
Sparta was untamed ♪
188
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,542
♪ Awesome Ares pursued a dream ♪
189
00:07:36,709 --> 00:07:38,583
♪ He moved a mountain range ♪
190
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,417
♪ Plowed down
the purple plains ♪
191
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:43,667
♪ And straightened out A
wild and wandering stream ♪
192
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:48,125
♪ When bad Boreas
blew onto the scene ♪
193
00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:51,500
♪ Our leader knew
what must be done ♪
194
00:07:51,583 --> 00:07:53,166
♪ He spun the winning spin ♪
195
00:07:53,250 --> 00:07:55,000
♪ And broke the brutal wind ♪
196
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:59,417
♪ And kicked Boreas
squarely in the bum ♪
197
00:08:00,834 --> 00:08:03,083
Every year they sing that song.
198
00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:04,625
I hate it.
199
00:08:04,709 --> 00:08:06,125
♪ La la la ♪
200
00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:08,000
I'm not listening.
201
00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:14,375
Oh! I'm howling mad and I'm
not going to take it anymore.
202
00:08:14,458 --> 00:08:16,792
Oh, you got to love that song.
203
00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:18,810
Every time I hear it it makes
me feel like running out
204
00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,792
and making war on somebody.
205
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,291
Hey, that's just
what I'm going to do.
206
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:25,375
Good luck with the rest
of your training, men.
207
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:28,417
Remember, make war, not love.
208
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,458
You weren't singing, monkey boy.
209
00:08:30,542 --> 00:08:32,917
Thanks to you,
this entire platoon
210
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,792
will do 10 laps
around the Coliseum.
211
00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:37,542
Only 10, sir?
212
00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:40,208
20 seems like a more
fitting punishment, sir.
213
00:08:40,291 --> 00:08:42,250
You heard him, weasels.
214
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:43,917
20 laps.
215
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,333
Get moving.
216
00:08:45,417 --> 00:08:48,250
- Move it!
- Icarus, what's gotten into you?
217
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,458
The soldiers' life, baby.
218
00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:53,166
I have found my calling.
219
00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:56,375
Yes! Stand up straight.
220
00:08:56,583 --> 00:09:00,333
Left, left, left, right, left.
221
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,583
Left, left...
222
00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:19,417
Aah!
223
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,333
Unh.
224
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:01,917
Listen up, gerbils.
225
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,458
You survived
another day of training,
226
00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:06,250
but tomorrow is the final phase,
227
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,291
the ultimate test.
228
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,291
In keeping with the Spartan way,
229
00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:14,041
you only graduate
if all of you pass.
230
00:10:14,125 --> 00:10:15,917
If even one fails,
231
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:20,083
you all fail, and
I got a feeling
232
00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:21,750
one of you isn't
going to make it.
233
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:23,500
Isn't that right, princy?
234
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:25,750
Nighty-night.
235
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:26,959
Did you hear that?
236
00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:28,834
He'll never let me pass.
237
00:10:28,917 --> 00:10:30,792
Kiss my kingdom good-bye.
238
00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:32,125
Oh, you'll pass.
239
00:10:32,208 --> 00:10:34,625
You'll pass or
this whole platoon
240
00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:36,917
is going to kick your royal...
241
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,417
OK. Listen, buck up, Adonis.
242
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,500
Hero rule #27
says to be a winner,
243
00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:43,750
you have to think like a winner.
244
00:10:43,834 --> 00:10:46,166
Oh, stop blowing
sunshine up my chiton.
245
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:48,917
I don't stand a chance against
Agamemnon. The man is unprincipled.
246
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,500
- He won't even accept a bribe.
- What are you doing?
247
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,059
What does it look
like? Getting out of here
248
00:10:53,083 --> 00:10:54,142
while I still have the chance.
249
00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:57,041
My mama didn't raise
me to be no flunkard.
250
00:10:57,125 --> 00:10:59,458
You're not leaving, maggot.
251
00:10:59,542 --> 00:11:03,917
We'll stay up all night
watching just to make sure.
252
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,125
I got my eye on you.
253
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,667
Oh. Ah, me.
254
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:15,250
Aah!
255
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,834
- Rise and shine, Adonis.
- Aah!
256
00:11:27,041 --> 00:11:29,583
I can't believe
Adonis ran out on us.
257
00:11:29,667 --> 00:11:30,917
I can.
258
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,291
Me, too.
259
00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:34,175
Let's go find him. He
can't have gone too far.
260
00:11:34,208 --> 00:11:35,500
Don't be so sure.
261
00:11:35,917 --> 00:11:37,917
My wings are gone!
262
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,667
I'm flying! Flying!
263
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:43,583
Not that I ever
doubted I could. Yikes!
264
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:45,000
Oh, oh, oh. Going up.
265
00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:47,875
He could be anywhere by now.
266
00:11:47,959 --> 00:11:50,166
Roger wilco on that, good buddy.
267
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,000
I'll have to notify the SMPS.
268
00:11:52,083 --> 00:11:55,083
- The who?
- The Simps. Spartan military police.
269
00:11:55,166 --> 00:11:59,458
Nice bunch of guys. Might even give
Adonis a blindfold for his execution.
270
00:11:59,542 --> 00:12:02,834
Icarus, we're here to
help Adonis, remember?
271
00:12:02,917 --> 00:12:05,083
- Well, I'm here to get a medal.
- Halt.
272
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:07,291
Going somewhere?
273
00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:08,875
Ah.
274
00:12:08,959 --> 00:12:12,291
I told you this wasn't
the way to the mess hall.
275
00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:13,542
Huh?
276
00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:15,125
No sense of direction.
277
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,250
You're stupid, right?
278
00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:19,125
Ah, come on.
279
00:12:23,583 --> 00:12:26,166
This flying requires
actual effort.
280
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:28,125
What a time to be
caught without servants.
281
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:31,208
Whew! Aah! Aah!
282
00:12:31,291 --> 00:12:32,291
Ooh.
283
00:12:33,792 --> 00:12:39,125
Can you believe they still sing
that same stupid song every year?
284
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,333
I mean, let it go already.
285
00:12:41,417 --> 00:12:43,309
Yeah, well, I was just
passing through, Boreas,
286
00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:45,583
and, uh, I've got like a
thousand errands to run,
287
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:47,125
so, uh, I, uh...
288
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,500
Sit. Always in a hurry.
289
00:12:49,583 --> 00:12:50,709
So tell me,
290
00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:52,750
who does that Ares
think he is anyway?
291
00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,583
Arrogant loudmouth.
292
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:56,834
Babe, look, if the song
bothers you that much,
293
00:12:56,917 --> 00:12:59,375
don't just sit around whining,
do something about it.
294
00:12:59,458 --> 00:13:00,834
That's not a bad idea.
295
00:13:00,917 --> 00:13:03,583
Fabulous. Glad
to help. Got to jet.
296
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,458
I'll show Ares.
297
00:13:05,542 --> 00:13:09,000
He has such fond memories of
building his precious city-state.
298
00:13:09,083 --> 00:13:12,792
He'll get to build another one
after I deliver the fatal blow.
299
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,250
Fatal blow?
300
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:15,792
Blow. Get it?
301
00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:18,333
Ah ha ha ha ha ha.
302
00:13:18,417 --> 00:13:20,500
I love wind humor.
303
00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:22,583
Ah ha ha ha ha.
304
00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:24,250
Aah!
305
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,208
Aah!
306
00:13:27,291 --> 00:13:30,000
The test is going to begin soon
and we can't even look for Adonis.
307
00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:32,041
Well, let's report him to HQ.
308
00:13:32,125 --> 00:13:33,959
For a couple of GIs
working on the QT
309
00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:37,250
we are batting a big fat
zilch looking for the A-W-O-L.
310
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,542
- What did you say?
- I don't know.
311
00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:42,417
I just love talking
like that, though, huh?
312
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:43,375
Aah!
313
00:13:43,458 --> 00:13:44,792
Ooh.
314
00:13:44,875 --> 00:13:48,041
Hercules, Icarus, I'm alive.
315
00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:50,542
Yeah, and you're
just in time for the test.
316
00:13:50,625 --> 00:13:53,000
Oh, Hercules. Ha ha.
317
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:57,208
Silly, misguided,
simple-minded Hercules.
318
00:13:57,291 --> 00:13:59,834
Ha ha ha. There isn't
going to be any test.
319
00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:01,542
Well, that's where you're wrong.
320
00:14:01,625 --> 00:14:04,250
You can't buy your
way out of this one,
321
00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:06,709
- Prince Pretty Boy.
- I don't have to.
322
00:14:06,792 --> 00:14:09,542
Boreas, the north wind, is
planning to destroy Sparta,
323
00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:12,208
thereby eliminating any
need for me to exert myself.
324
00:14:12,291 --> 00:14:13,667
Ahh, good fortune.
325
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:15,542
Oh, my gosh. We
got to warn them.
326
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:16,959
Hold on.
327
00:14:17,041 --> 00:14:19,083
If Sparta falls, I'm off
the hook. Don't be a hero.
328
00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:20,917
Sorry, I am a hero.
329
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,333
That's why I'm here
helping you, remember?
330
00:14:23,417 --> 00:14:25,709
Then again, maybe you're right.
331
00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:29,166
I'm sure you could always
find a job, right, Icarus?
332
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:33,417
After his court-martial
here, I seriously doubt it.
333
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,583
Job? If you're trying to joke,
334
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,375
- it's not the least bit funny.
- No joke.
335
00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:40,500
If Sparta is gone, you
can't pass basic training,
336
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:42,542
and if you don't pass...
337
00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:44,333
Then I can't be
the King of Thrace.
338
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,917
Don't just stand there.
339
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000
Do something heroic.
340
00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:52,000
Visiting dignitaries,
341
00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:55,625
fellow Spartans, welcome
to the ultimate test.
342
00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:59,834
Keep your eye on my boy Adonis.
343
00:14:59,917 --> 00:15:01,792
He'll be leading the pack.
344
00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:03,333
Don't count on it, Sinarus.
345
00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:06,458
Adonis couldn't fight his
way out of a paper bag.
346
00:15:06,542 --> 00:15:09,375
Why would my boy
be in a paper bag?
347
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:13,458
What kind of an operation are
you running here, Agamemnon?
348
00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:15,959
Uh, never mind.
349
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,959
And now, our recruits.
350
00:15:22,959 --> 00:15:24,250
Sergeant Agamemnon,
351
00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:26,375
Sparta's in grave danger.
352
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:28,542
Resume formation, recruit.
353
00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:33,208
But Boreas is planning to attack
Sparta during the ultimate test, sir.
354
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,250
Every year some lazy recruit
355
00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:39,709
tries to back out of the ultimate
test by making up some lame excuse,
356
00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:43,125
but this is the lamest ever.
357
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:46,166
Now get on that starting line!
358
00:15:46,959 --> 00:15:49,792
- The truth didn't work. Now what?
- I'm thinking.
359
00:15:49,875 --> 00:15:53,208
On your marks, get set...
360
00:15:54,709 --> 00:15:55,917
Whoa!
361
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:16,041
Ha ha. This is quite an
obstacle, Agamemnon.
362
00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:18,709
What a challenge
for the recruits.
363
00:16:18,834 --> 00:16:21,166
This wasn't my idea, you idiot.
364
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:22,250
Oh.
365
00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:24,834
Well, kudos to
whomever thought of it.
366
00:16:24,959 --> 00:16:26,250
Job well done.
367
00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:37,226
Hey, watch where you're going.
368
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,792
What's the matter?
369
00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:40,559
A little wind and you
forget how to drive?
370
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,709
- Take that back.
- You going to make me?
371
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,959
You and your hero
ways, Hercules.
372
00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:46,250
Now what?
373
00:16:46,375 --> 00:16:47,375
We land.
374
00:16:49,166 --> 00:16:50,959
Whoa!
375
00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:54,750
Oh, my gosh.
376
00:16:57,709 --> 00:17:00,083
You cut that pretty close, pal.
377
00:17:00,208 --> 00:17:02,041
Yeah, taking your
sweet time, huh?
378
00:17:04,041 --> 00:17:05,875
Spartans.
379
00:17:10,875 --> 00:17:12,309
How long is he
going to keep this up?
380
00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:14,583
I need to pass that test.
381
00:17:15,291 --> 00:17:17,917
Adonis, did you hear what
made Boreas decide to attack?
382
00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:19,542
It's that infernal
Spartan anthem.
383
00:17:19,625 --> 00:17:22,000
He hates it. Who
could blame him?
384
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,500
What? You're kidding.
385
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:25,208
I find it stirring.
386
00:17:25,291 --> 00:17:27,417
I've got an idea. Get behind me.
387
00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:33,875
Icarus, do you remember
that Spartan anthem?
388
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,333
Every word of it.
389
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:36,458
Then sing it out.
390
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,792
Aye-aye, baby.
391
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:42,583
♪ We are the mighty
fighting men Of Sparta ♪
392
00:17:42,709 --> 00:17:46,458
♪ And we fly Our
flag with pride ♪
393
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:49,250
♪ We're members of a corp ♪
394
00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:50,875
♪ That loves to go to war ♪
395
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,208
♪ And crush, crush,
crush the other side ♪
396
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:56,125
♪ Let's have a
hearty hip hooray ♪
397
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:57,792
♪ For Ares ♪
398
00:17:58,625 --> 00:18:01,542
♪ The fearless founding
father Of our fold ♪
399
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:03,792
♪ We'll follow him do or die ♪
400
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,542
♪ 'Cause he's
one heck of a guy ♪
401
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:08,750
♪ Benevolent, brave, and bold ♪
402
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:12,917
♪ Long ago when
Sparta was untamed ♪
403
00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:16,625
♪ Awesome Ares pursued a dream ♪
404
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,625
♪ He moved a mountain range ♪
405
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:20,458
♪ Plowed down
the purple plains ♪
406
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:23,458
♪ And straightened out a
wild And wandering stream ♪
407
00:18:23,583 --> 00:18:25,375
♪ When bad Boreas ♪
408
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,667
♪ Blew onto the scene ♪
409
00:18:27,792 --> 00:18:30,667
♪ Our leader knew
what must be done ♪
410
00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:33,417
♪ He spun the winning spin ♪
411
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:34,792
♪ That broke the brutal wind ♪
412
00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:38,166
♪ And kicked Boreas
Squarely in the bum ♪
413
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:41,291
Oh! Who's singing that song now?
414
00:18:41,417 --> 00:18:44,875
I'll shut him up
once and for all.
415
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,166
It's working. Here he comes.
416
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:49,792
That's your plan?
417
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:51,667
Make certain we're
in harm's way?
418
00:18:51,792 --> 00:18:54,875
We're going to trap him.
Keep singing and follow me.
419
00:18:54,959 --> 00:18:57,834
♪ We are the mighty
fighting men Of Sparta ♪
420
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,417
But I can't go in there.
421
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,542
It's cramped, and dark,
422
00:19:01,667 --> 00:19:03,250
disgusting, and stinky.
423
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:04,750
Come on, you can do it.
424
00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:06,125
There could be bugs.
425
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:09,083
Just imagine your
throne is at the other end.
426
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:11,250
I don't know.
427
00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:13,417
And there's a
commoner sitting on it.
428
00:19:13,542 --> 00:19:15,250
Get off my throne!
429
00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:16,667
♪ ...Of our fold ♪
430
00:19:16,792 --> 00:19:18,667
♪ We'll follow him do or die ♪
431
00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:20,917
Ha. You think you
can hide from Boreas?
432
00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:22,917
Think again.
433
00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:35,041
Eew. Yuck. Gross.
434
00:19:35,125 --> 00:19:37,542
I need a bath. Several
baths, consecutively.
435
00:19:37,667 --> 00:19:39,417
That means one after the other.
436
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:43,041
Oh, I'll get you.
437
00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:44,083
Wait here.
438
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,625
No problem. Eew.
439
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:50,834
I'm not falling for any
of your stupid tricks.
440
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:55,125
Hey, that's not fair.
441
00:19:56,417 --> 00:19:59,166
Now I'm really mad.
442
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,166
Now let me get this straight.
443
00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:10,291
Some newby recruits
beat the old windbag?
444
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,917
Ha ha ha.
445
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,500
Hey, Boreas, you big blowhard,
446
00:20:14,583 --> 00:20:16,709
you lose. Again.
447
00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:18,208
Ha ha ha ha ha.
448
00:20:18,291 --> 00:20:20,166
Is that Ares? Let me at him.
449
00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:22,583
Let me at him.
450
00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:24,226
Permission to deport
the prisoner, sir?
451
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:25,458
Permission granted.
452
00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:30,667
Hey, good arm.
453
00:20:30,792 --> 00:20:32,375
Well, looks like
medals all around.
454
00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:35,792
B-but, wise and
belligerent Ares,
455
00:20:35,917 --> 00:20:38,166
Boreas interrupted
the ultimate test.
456
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:39,625
We've got to start over.
457
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:42,458
You kidding? Nobody's
beaten Boreas since me.
458
00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:44,500
These three pass, with honors.
459
00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:50,417
This is the happiest
moment of my life.
460
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,750
Oh, thank you, thank
you, thank you, thank you.
461
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,375
- Do I know you?
- Well, my father...
462
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,083
'Cause I've got a great
memory for faces, and...
463
00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:59,333
Hey! Your Zeus' kid, Sport.
464
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:02,500
Actually, sir, the
name is Hercules.
465
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:03,625
Wait a minute.
466
00:21:03,709 --> 00:21:05,500
You're one of those
eggheads from Athens,
467
00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:07,208
aren't you, Sport?
468
00:21:07,291 --> 00:21:09,583
Well, uh, ha, yeah, but, uh...
469
00:21:09,709 --> 00:21:12,333
Athenians can't join the
Spartan Armed Forces.
470
00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:14,166
And what about you?
471
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,083
Me? Uh, well, uh,
472
00:21:17,166 --> 00:21:20,417
I'll move. Please, let
me keep my medal.
473
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:22,500
- Give me that.
- No!
474
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,375
Sparta and Thrace
are not enemies.
475
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:28,875
I, therefore, am rightfully
enrolled in the academy.
476
00:21:28,959 --> 00:21:32,417
But he didn't lift a
finger to stop Boreas.
477
00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:35,625
It would be fair to say that I
served in a supervisory role.
478
00:21:35,709 --> 00:21:38,750
You mean to tell me
that these two commoners
479
00:21:38,834 --> 00:21:40,834
did all your work for you?
480
00:21:41,041 --> 00:21:43,333
Well, yes, technically.
481
00:21:43,458 --> 00:21:45,250
Bravo! Ha ha.
482
00:21:45,333 --> 00:21:47,375
You've got a gift, son.
483
00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:50,041
Leadership. That's
what it's all about.
484
00:21:50,125 --> 00:21:51,166
Outstanding.
485
00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:55,333
Oh, the kid shows promise
and is definitely officer material,
486
00:21:55,417 --> 00:21:57,500
unlike some people I know.
487
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:01,417
Yeah, but, he... he... Ohh.
488
00:22:02,417 --> 00:22:03,417
Way to go, Adonis.
489
00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:04,875
You're the best.
490
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,542
Come on, Icarus.
491
00:22:07,125 --> 00:22:09,208
- Let's go home.
- Oh, I knew it.
492
00:22:09,291 --> 00:22:12,458
Little guy can't get
ahead in this man's army.
493
00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:14,709
Tell me about it.
34880
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