All language subtitles for Disneys Hercules - S01 E36 - Hercules and the King For a Day (480p - DSNP Web-DL)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,041 ♪ Who put the glad in gladiator ♪ 2 00:00:10,125 --> 00:00:11,959 ♪ Hercules ♪ 3 00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,625 ♪ Whose daring deeds are great theatre? ♪ 4 00:00:14,709 --> 00:00:16,208 ♪ Hercules ♪ 5 00:00:16,291 --> 00:00:17,291 ♪ Is he bold ♪ 6 00:00:17,375 --> 00:00:18,417 ♪ No one braver ♪ 7 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,667 ♪ Is he sweet ♪ 8 00:00:19,750 --> 00:00:21,834 ♪ Our favorite flavor Hercules ♪ 9 00:00:21,917 --> 00:00:23,875 ♪ What a guy ♪ 10 00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:25,792 ♪ Ask his friends ♪ 11 00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:27,250 ♪ Honey they won't lie ♪ 12 00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:28,542 ♪ Oh Hercules ♪ 13 00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:32,583 ♪ Hercules ♪ 14 00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:33,583 ♪ No one's fool ♪ 15 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,125 ♪ Now the boy's in school ♪ 16 00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,500 ♪ He's in trainin' ♪ 17 00:00:36,583 --> 00:00:37,500 ♪ Smart and shy ♪ 18 00:00:37,583 --> 00:00:39,166 ♪ And the nicest guy ♪ 19 00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:40,417 ♪ No complainin' ♪ 20 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,750 ♪ He was a no one a zero zero ♪ 21 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,709 ♪ He'll never quit till he's a hero ♪ 22 00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:47,625 ♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪ 23 00:00:47,709 --> 00:00:50,125 ♪ From zero to hero ♪ 24 00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,375 ♪ Herc is a hero ♪ 25 00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:57,166 ♪ He'll be a hero ♪ 26 00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:59,417 Wait and see. 27 00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:08,667 No, no, no. I won't go. 28 00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:10,208 I won't. I can't. 29 00:01:10,291 --> 00:01:12,458 Please, no. You can't make me. 30 00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:14,875 You have to go. This is important. 31 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:17,625 I can't face that monster. I can't! 32 00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:19,583 Come on! You faced worse! 33 00:01:19,667 --> 00:01:21,083 That's where you're wrong, rookie. 34 00:01:21,166 --> 00:01:24,375 This one sucks the life out of me! 35 00:01:24,458 --> 00:01:25,709 Aw, Phil, come on. 36 00:01:25,792 --> 00:01:27,041 Be a half-man about this. 37 00:01:27,125 --> 00:01:28,208 Half, no! 38 00:01:28,291 --> 00:01:30,417 I won't take "Half, no" for an answer. 39 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:32,500 It can't be that bad, Phil. 40 00:01:32,583 --> 00:01:34,625 I mean, she's your mother. 41 00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:36,583 Nooooooooooooo! 42 00:01:36,667 --> 00:01:37,987 At least you're allowed to visit. 43 00:01:38,041 --> 00:01:41,250 I can't even get past the front gate of my mom and dad's place. 44 00:01:41,375 --> 00:01:42,417 You're lucky, really. 45 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:44,875 You're lucky to have parents behind bars. 46 00:01:52,583 --> 00:01:55,375 The chamber of horrors! 47 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:56,792 Would you stop? 48 00:01:56,875 --> 00:01:58,166 Ugh. 49 00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:01,917 Late as usual. 50 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,667 Hi, Ma. 51 00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:06,333 Oh, let me look at you, Philly Goat. 52 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,333 Philly Goat? 53 00:02:08,417 --> 00:02:10,000 Yeah, yeah. 54 00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:11,834 Have you been eating your greens? 55 00:02:11,917 --> 00:02:12,917 You're bloating. 56 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,500 Aw, come on, Ma! I'm a big boy now. 57 00:02:15,583 --> 00:02:17,959 Oh, well, you were always husky. 58 00:02:18,041 --> 00:02:19,309 Here... 59 00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:22,291 this will cover the fare and a little something for you. 60 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:23,792 Ma, he's not a cabby. 61 00:02:23,875 --> 00:02:26,125 He's Hercules. The son of Zeus... 62 00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:27,542 My hero in training. 63 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,083 Nice to meet you Mrs... 64 00:02:29,166 --> 00:02:31,000 You can call me Cacophony. 65 00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:32,709 Be a darling, Hercules. 66 00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:36,542 Close the door behind you. There's a draft. 67 00:02:36,625 --> 00:02:37,792 Ow! 68 00:02:37,875 --> 00:02:39,875 So, why haven't you written? 69 00:02:39,959 --> 00:02:42,709 I guess Mr. Big-shot coach is too busy 70 00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:46,625 to scribble a few words to his old, forgotten mother. 71 00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:48,375 Ma, I've been busy! Come on. 72 00:02:48,458 --> 00:02:50,000 Training heroes is a big job. 73 00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:52,542 Your brother Saul always writes. 74 00:02:52,625 --> 00:02:55,250 So busy selling sandals door-to-door, 75 00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:57,667 but he sends me a scroll a week. 76 00:02:57,750 --> 00:03:00,309 Did you hear he's been promoted 77 00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:02,959 to Aegean Regional Sales Manager? 78 00:03:03,041 --> 00:03:05,625 He's a retail juggernaut! 79 00:03:05,709 --> 00:03:07,959 Hey! Who's this? 80 00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:11,375 Oh, that's my Philly Goat when he was just a kid 81 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,875 training the next-door neighbor to fend off a bully. 82 00:03:14,959 --> 00:03:17,542 Even then I had coaching in my blood. 83 00:03:17,625 --> 00:03:19,625 And blood all over the house. 84 00:03:19,709 --> 00:03:22,041 Here they are an hour later. 85 00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:24,083 Hmm... didn't work out. 86 00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:25,250 Who's that? 87 00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:28,542 Oh, that's my other baby, Saulmenaus. 88 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,917 Oh, that kid had goals! 89 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,208 Did I tell you Saul was named sale Satyr of the year? 90 00:03:35,291 --> 00:03:38,208 Philly Goat, why don't you show him around Satyville? 91 00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:39,709 And I'll start dinner. 92 00:03:39,792 --> 00:03:41,000 Do me a favor, kid. 93 00:03:41,125 --> 00:03:44,125 Use your demigod strength to squash my head like a melon. 94 00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:46,166 - Phil! - You're right. It'll stain her porch. 95 00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:47,125 She'll kill me. 96 00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:49,583 I think you're overreacting, Phil. 97 00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:54,166 I mean, your mom loves you... in her own special way. 98 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,375 Loves me?! She thinks I'm worthless! 99 00:03:56,458 --> 00:03:58,959 I'd give anything if she'd be as proud of me 100 00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:00,417 as she is of my brother. 101 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:04,709 Why wouldn't she be? You're Philoctetes... Trainer of heroes! 102 00:04:04,792 --> 00:04:07,333 Pbht! Like who? Achilles, Perseus? 103 00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:10,208 I'm the trainer of losers. No offense, kid. 104 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:12,166 Pride starts with you. 105 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,458 It starts with a "p." 106 00:04:13,542 --> 00:04:15,667 What do they teach you in that school? 107 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:18,500 All I ever hear is Saul this and Saul that. 108 00:04:18,583 --> 00:04:21,166 Why can't she talk about me for once? 109 00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:23,041 Well, at least you can talk to her. 110 00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:25,208 When I want a face to face with my folks, 111 00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:26,542 I have to speak to statues. 112 00:04:27,959 --> 00:04:30,667 Wow! Would you look at that? 113 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:33,917 "Coming soon, The Temple of Pan." 114 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,125 But I thought only Gods get temples. 115 00:04:36,208 --> 00:04:38,709 Hey, he's Pan... Pan da man! 116 00:04:38,792 --> 00:04:41,500 I bet his mother is proud of him. 117 00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:44,083 I have the results of this year's audit. 118 00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:46,875 I'm afraid offerings and sacrifices to you 119 00:04:46,959 --> 00:04:48,375 are way down, Demeter. 120 00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:50,792 Oh, Nemesis, that can't be right. 121 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:53,667 After the bountiful harvest I sent this year? 122 00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:56,000 Did you know that gourds are high in riboflavin? 123 00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:58,667 I figured something this ugly should at least be good for you. 124 00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:01,291 Yeah. According to the Infernal Retribution Service, 125 00:05:01,375 --> 00:05:06,000 Idomeneus of Crete offered some okra out of season. 126 00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:08,041 Of course, this incident will be answered 127 00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:09,750 with the proper smiting. 128 00:05:09,834 --> 00:05:12,000 Oh, oh, please. Over okra? 129 00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:13,417 Smiting seems a bit harsh. 130 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:16,291 Okra really wasn't the best veggie I ever came up with... 131 00:05:16,375 --> 00:05:18,542 No taste, yuh! Too slimy. 132 00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:20,518 What was I thinking?! I must've been out of my head! 133 00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:23,125 Fine. Another vote for leniency. 134 00:05:23,208 --> 00:05:25,834 Okay, how about Sanctimonious of Smyrna? 135 00:05:25,917 --> 00:05:27,291 His pitiful tribute to you... 136 00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:30,125 A burnt offering of rotten potatoes. 137 00:05:30,208 --> 00:05:34,834 Sanctimonious, Sanctimonious. Oh! The hash-brown guy! 138 00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:35,959 They were rotten? 139 00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:38,625 This mortal has a smite wish. 140 00:05:38,709 --> 00:05:45,041 Would you be a dear? 141 00:05:45,125 --> 00:05:46,583 You don't have to smite him. 142 00:05:46,709 --> 00:05:48,750 I'll just send a few warning locusts. 143 00:05:48,834 --> 00:05:51,250 Ugh! Fine. 144 00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:56,959 Aha. This is a smitable offense. 145 00:05:57,041 --> 00:05:58,417 King Pan of Satyville 146 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:01,041 hasn't made an offering to you all year. 147 00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:03,542 Well, that's not so bad. 148 00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:07,208 And he hasn't visited your temple in months because... 149 00:06:07,291 --> 00:06:10,667 he's too busy building one to himself. 150 00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:13,583 - Excuse me? - It seems that he's taken credit 151 00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:17,709 for all the Satyrs' good fortune... Including the bountiful harvest. 152 00:06:17,792 --> 00:06:19,500 Ohh. 153 00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:21,542 Apparently, the King of the Satyrs 154 00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:24,041 wants his people to worship him. 155 00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:27,417 Feeling like a wrathful God yet? 156 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:30,166 I'm getting there. 157 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:38,166 Pan! Pan! You da man! 158 00:06:38,250 --> 00:06:42,500 I accept your glory! Same time tomorrow. 159 00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:48,208 - Aah! - Maybe... maybe not. 160 00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:50,834 Oh! Oh! Demeter! Your Goddessness! 161 00:06:50,917 --> 00:06:53,375 Uh... you're looking crisp today! 162 00:06:53,458 --> 00:06:55,625 How is my favorite earth mother? 163 00:06:55,709 --> 00:06:57,875 Feeling a little soiled. 164 00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:01,250 Is it true you haven't made any offerings to me this year? 165 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,917 Oh, I would've, really, really. 166 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,667 But you don't know what happened. 167 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:07,375 The harvest was really bad this year... 168 00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:09,667 Tomatoes the size of chickpeas. 169 00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:10,750 Oh, get out of here. 170 00:07:10,792 --> 00:07:12,625 I sent the best harvest ever. 171 00:07:12,709 --> 00:07:14,041 Oh, oh! This year! 172 00:07:14,125 --> 00:07:16,667 This... y-you said, "this year," right, right, right. 173 00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:19,542 Well, there was this marauding band of vegetarians. 174 00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:20,625 They wiped us out. 175 00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:23,250 Ha ha. It looks to me like they left plenty. 176 00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:26,750 And what's this I hear about a Temple of Pan? 177 00:07:26,834 --> 00:07:28,542 Uh... what temple? 178 00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:29,500 That one! 179 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,250 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's not a temple. 180 00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:35,041 See, that's a... it's a... It's a fast-food joint. 181 00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:37,000 See, uh, Pan pizza. 182 00:07:37,083 --> 00:07:38,500 You should try some... terrific! 183 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,166 Don't you lie to me, grass stain! 184 00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:44,959 "Praise Pan from whom all blessings flow"? 185 00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,792 Did you write that?! 186 00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:53,542 Ugh. I am so angry, I'm slipping into fall! 187 00:07:53,625 --> 00:07:58,333 You have got till the harvest-moon festival 188 00:07:58,417 --> 00:08:04,291 to pay up your back offerings or you are taking a fall! 189 00:08:08,417 --> 00:08:09,875 Yo, come here, come here. 190 00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:12,166 Now listen to me. We got to turn over every offering. 191 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,333 We can lay our hands on. 192 00:08:13,417 --> 00:08:15,875 Well, the treasury is bare, your goatishness. 193 00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:17,166 We ate a lot of grass 194 00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:19,250 at the ground-breaking for your temple. 195 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,125 Hey, hey! It's not a temple, all right? 196 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:22,792 How many times I gotta tell you? 197 00:08:22,875 --> 00:08:25,125 It's a restaurant! 198 00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:28,125 He don't know what he's talking about. He didn't mean that. 199 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,458 Do you know what it's like to be second best 200 00:08:30,542 --> 00:08:32,000 to a sandals salesman? 201 00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:34,959 Why would Ma be prouder of a son who makes his living saying, 202 00:08:35,041 --> 00:08:37,709 "Yeah, I have that size in brown, too." 203 00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:41,000 Maybe you could beseech Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, for advice. 204 00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:43,208 You know what? You could talk to my dad. 205 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:49,166 Say! You may be on to something, kid! 206 00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:50,750 I'll ask King Pan. 207 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,458 But he's not a God. 208 00:08:52,542 --> 00:08:54,583 He thinks he is. And he's local! 209 00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:55,667 But... 210 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,166 King Pan! 211 00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:03,417 Name's Philoctetes. Call me "Phil." 212 00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:04,917 Can't you see the king is busy? 213 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,000 I'm in a jam! 214 00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:07,959 How can I get my mother to show respect? 215 00:09:08,041 --> 00:09:10,291 Everybody respects you. I thought you might know. 216 00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:12,542 Uh, sir? 217 00:09:16,083 --> 00:09:17,959 I just might be able to help. 218 00:09:18,917 --> 00:09:20,583 - You know, Bill... - That's Phil. 219 00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:24,166 Whatever. I gotta be out of town for the harvest-moon festival, 220 00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:26,000 and I need somebody to take my place. 221 00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:28,834 You know, oversee the rituals, take care of the offerings, 222 00:09:28,917 --> 00:09:34,125 deal with any crises that, uh, might come up. 223 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:39,250 I crown you Temporary King of the Satyrs. 224 00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:41,000 That ought to impress your mom. 225 00:09:41,083 --> 00:09:42,250 Problem solved! 226 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,583 My problem. Heh heh heh heh. 227 00:09:45,917 --> 00:09:48,417 Sheep are not dependents. 228 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,500 No receipts, no beseech. 229 00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:52,458 You can't depreciate your chariot! 230 00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:55,291 Sorry, your ski vacation at Mount Parnassus 231 00:09:55,375 --> 00:09:56,583 is not deductible. 232 00:09:56,667 --> 00:09:58,125 Apples? 233 00:09:58,208 --> 00:10:00,959 What kind of offering is this for the God of War?! 234 00:10:01,041 --> 00:10:02,542 I'm a red-meat type of God. 235 00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:05,417 This is the type of garbage Demeter would want! 236 00:10:08,125 --> 00:10:10,458 Oh, sorry, Demeter. Didn't see you there. 237 00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:11,542 Snack? 238 00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:14,542 So... when can you take out the bum? 239 00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:17,542 I'll be in that area next Tuesday. 240 00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:21,709 Fine! Just make sure it's agonizing. 241 00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:25,208 Oh, Nemesis, you were so right about the King of the Satyrs. 242 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,000 If he hasn't made an offering to me by the harvest moon, 243 00:10:28,083 --> 00:10:29,083 waste him! 244 00:10:29,166 --> 00:10:30,834 Ooh, you're in luck. 245 00:10:30,959 --> 00:10:33,000 The harvest moon's tomorrow night. 246 00:10:33,083 --> 00:10:36,125 And I have an opening. 247 00:10:36,208 --> 00:10:41,208 "Harvest moon... Smite King of Satyrs." 248 00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:42,375 Ahhh. 249 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:45,500 Philoctetes... King of the Satyrs. 250 00:10:45,583 --> 00:10:46,583 Ooh-hoo! 251 00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:49,709 I'm sittin' pretty now. 252 00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:55,583 Pan! You da man! 253 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:58,417 Aw, you guys are the best. Aw, come on, come on! 254 00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,208 You guys... you give good glory. 255 00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:02,250 But even a king needs some downtime. 256 00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:04,750 So, Phil, here, he's gonna be the king for, oh... 257 00:11:04,834 --> 00:11:06,333 about a day and a half. 258 00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:08,017 See you after the harvest-moon festival! 259 00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,709 Run. 260 00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:12,875 Phil! Phil! 261 00:11:12,959 --> 00:11:15,041 You da new man! 262 00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:17,667 Huh, he sure seems in a hurry. 263 00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,709 There's something fishy about this, Phil. 264 00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:22,083 That's King Phil now. 265 00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:25,583 Ohh, excusez-moi, King Phil. 266 00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:27,917 And I dub you the royal bodyguard. 267 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,208 Well, you're gonna need one, your highness, 268 00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:31,643 because you're late for your mom's dinner. 269 00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:33,500 Yikes! I totally forgot! 270 00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:35,750 Get the sedan chair! 271 00:11:35,834 --> 00:11:37,250 Sorry, I'm late, Ma. 272 00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:39,583 I was busy becoming King. 273 00:11:39,709 --> 00:11:40,917 Hmm, that's nice. 274 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,375 Nice? Ma, I'm the king! 275 00:11:43,458 --> 00:11:46,041 That's no excuse for being late for dinner. 276 00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:48,291 Even on the day your brother Saul 277 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:53,458 got the golden-insole award, he was at the table on time. 278 00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:57,709 What have I got to do to prove myself to that woman? 279 00:11:57,792 --> 00:11:59,875 Oh, come on. Cheer up, Phil. 280 00:11:59,959 --> 00:12:01,458 She'll come around. 281 00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:04,667 The harvest-moon festival has got to impress her. 282 00:12:12,583 --> 00:12:15,583 Man, oh, man... Fescue fricassee. 283 00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:18,792 Mmm, delish. 284 00:12:18,875 --> 00:12:19,875 Mmm. 285 00:12:21,125 --> 00:12:22,625 What a party! 286 00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,000 And it's all for me. 287 00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:26,291 - Do me a favor, Herc, and go get Ma. - Sure, Phil. 288 00:12:26,375 --> 00:12:29,166 She's gonna be proud of me tonight if it kills me. 289 00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:40,208 Saul never had a party in his honor like this, huh, Ma? 290 00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:45,250 Being king sure beats being Aegean regional sales manager. 291 00:12:45,333 --> 00:12:47,583 Oh, really? Do you get benefits? 292 00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:50,917 - Benefits?! - Health insurance, a pension. 293 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,250 You know, perks! 294 00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:54,417 I-I-I don't know. I didn't ask. 295 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,125 Saul always asks. 296 00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:58,750 You got to look out for yourself in this world 297 00:12:58,834 --> 00:13:00,166 if you want to get ahead. 298 00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:02,291 I'm the king! 299 00:13:02,375 --> 00:13:04,208 How much more ahead can I get?! 300 00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:05,458 Never settle. 301 00:13:05,542 --> 00:13:08,834 Where would your brother Saul be if he didn't have goals? 302 00:13:08,917 --> 00:13:10,166 Still a stock goat 303 00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:12,625 at Discount Draco the Sandal Vandal. 304 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,417 Now move!! The floor show is starting! 305 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,375 Mother of Zeus! 306 00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:19,417 I'm coming apart! 307 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:20,625 Shush! 308 00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:32,875 Your grateful subjects are ready to present you with gifts, 309 00:13:32,959 --> 00:13:34,041 Oh, King. 310 00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:36,083 You hear that, Ma? Presents! 311 00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:40,333 Did I tell you Saul got a granite gorgon paperweight 312 00:13:40,417 --> 00:13:42,291 when they made him sale Satyr of the year. 313 00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:46,750 It's not the gift that counts, it's the thought! 314 00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:50,000 And all these guys have been thinking about me! 315 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,709 Hey! No cuts! 316 00:13:57,834 --> 00:13:59,750 I'm sure I could arrange one. 317 00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:02,041 Heh, heh. A-after you! 318 00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:08,500 Nobody ever gave Saul tribute like this. 319 00:14:08,583 --> 00:14:10,709 Melon makes me gassy. 320 00:14:10,792 --> 00:14:13,125 Ooh, a sword! Can't have too many of those! 321 00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:14,500 Thanks, Toots. 322 00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:17,250 Hey, what's the big idea? 323 00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:22,083 I seek the King of the Satyrs. 324 00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:24,792 Well, you found him, sister. 325 00:14:24,875 --> 00:14:29,083 And as the head honcho, big cheese, and top goat, 326 00:14:29,166 --> 00:14:33,417 I decree that you stop spooking my loyal subjects. 327 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,750 Bow down, arrogant offender! 328 00:14:35,834 --> 00:14:38,709 I, Nemesis, demigoddess of vengeance, 329 00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:42,208 will now smite the wicked King of the Satyrs. 330 00:14:42,291 --> 00:14:43,417 Smite? 331 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:46,041 Me?! What are you talking about? 332 00:14:46,125 --> 00:14:46,959 You stand accused of hubris. 333 00:14:47,041 --> 00:14:50,750 Hubris? No, really, what are you talking about? 334 00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:52,959 It means you've gotten too big for your fur pants. 335 00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:55,041 So I overdid it a little tonight... 336 00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,875 A brisk jog, a few sit-ups, I'll work off the flab. 337 00:14:57,959 --> 00:14:59,917 Don't worry. I'll cut you down to size. 338 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,000 That's slick how you do that weapon thing with your hands. 339 00:15:03,083 --> 00:15:04,309 A little close to my skull, though. 340 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:05,792 Quiet, Demeter defier! 341 00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:09,750 What made you think you could get away with acting like a God? 342 00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:13,083 I'm a Demigoddess, and even I don't get my own temple. 343 00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:14,291 I time share! 344 00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:16,583 Oh, no, no! You got this all wrong! 345 00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:18,709 I-I've only been king for a day! 346 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,709 Prepare for early retirement. 347 00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:23,834 She's a Demigoddess, Phil. You need the help of a Demigod. 348 00:15:23,917 --> 00:15:26,834 Wait! I can't back down in front of Ma! 349 00:15:26,917 --> 00:15:29,375 She'd never let me live it down. 350 00:15:29,458 --> 00:15:30,500 Aah! 351 00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:35,125 Whoa! Watch it! I don't get health insurance! 352 00:15:35,208 --> 00:15:37,875 Are you gonna let her treat you that way? 353 00:15:37,959 --> 00:15:40,375 You're a king, act like one! 354 00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:41,959 Your brother would. 355 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,208 You're right, Ma. I am king. 356 00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:47,000 I have an entire army at my disposal. 357 00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:49,709 Behold my mighty legion! 358 00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:54,291 Ooh! Ah! 359 00:15:54,375 --> 00:15:55,667 Eh! Ow! 360 00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:59,667 Ha ha ha. Is that the best you can do? 361 00:16:01,417 --> 00:16:03,583 Aah! 362 00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:06,041 Heh heh... draftees. 363 00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:09,834 Prepare to be smitten! 364 00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:14,417 All right, my mom is watching, 365 00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,917 so I'm not fleeing, I'm coaching. Got it? 366 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,875 Nod like I said something useful. 367 00:16:18,959 --> 00:16:22,250 Okay. Uh... - Phil? - Yeah, kid? 368 00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,083 Start coaching. 369 00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:25,083 Aaaah! 370 00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:28,417 So this is your hotshot trainee, Philly? 371 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,750 Aaaaaah! 372 00:16:29,834 --> 00:16:32,917 L-look, lady, y-you got the wrong guy. 373 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,542 Sorry. The kid got in the way. 374 00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:36,417 I mean me! 375 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,917 Now bow down! 376 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,667 Do what Saul would do! 377 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:45,583 I don't have anything in a size 9, ma! 378 00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:54,834 Nemesis, you seem like a reasonable Demigoddess. 379 00:16:54,917 --> 00:16:56,500 Eh! 380 00:16:57,458 --> 00:16:58,875 Aah! 381 00:17:00,625 --> 00:17:03,500 Won't you stand still and take your smiting like a man? 382 00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:06,625 I'm only half a man! Can you give me half a smiting? 383 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:12,000 I haven't had a campout since my days in the satyr scouts. 384 00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:14,000 Aaaaaaaaah! 385 00:17:14,083 --> 00:17:15,542 Huh? 386 00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:16,625 Aaaaaaaaah! 387 00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:21,000 Wow, you don't see stuff like that in the city. 388 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,458 Aaaaaaah! 389 00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,250 Thanks, Pegasus. 390 00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:34,834 We gotta get back to Phil! 391 00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:42,125 Huh? 392 00:17:42,208 --> 00:17:44,709 Pegasus, take it down. 393 00:17:44,792 --> 00:17:48,083 Oh, whoa! What's the big idea? Do you know who I am? 394 00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:49,750 Yeah, the jerk who set Phil up. 395 00:17:49,834 --> 00:17:52,714 Hey, who... who you calling a jerk? Let me tell you something, all right? 396 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,750 If Phil can't handle being the king, 397 00:17:54,834 --> 00:17:56,250 it's not my fault. 398 00:17:56,333 --> 00:18:00,083 Well, let's just see what Nemesis has to say about that. 399 00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:07,083 I am on a very tight schedule here. 400 00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:08,333 Owwww! 401 00:18:09,375 --> 00:18:13,500 Say goodbye to your crown and your head! 402 00:18:13,583 --> 00:18:15,208 Don't touch that Satyr, Nemesis! 403 00:18:15,291 --> 00:18:16,709 Ugh! You again? 404 00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:19,041 Can I just do my job and get out of here?! 405 00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:20,792 Here's the real King of the Satyrs! 406 00:18:20,875 --> 00:18:24,875 Oh, nice try, but he's wearing the crown. He loses his head. 407 00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:27,000 Ugh! 408 00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:28,834 But Phil's innocent! 409 00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:30,083 I don't care. 410 00:18:30,166 --> 00:18:31,917 I have my orders from Demeter. 411 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,250 There's gotta be a mistake. Demeter! 412 00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:36,333 Beseeching Demeter! 413 00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:40,834 This had better be good. 414 00:18:40,917 --> 00:18:43,083 I was about to have my head fertilized. 415 00:18:43,166 --> 00:18:44,583 Per your orders, 416 00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:48,000 this grass-grazing runt is bound for the underworld! 417 00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:51,125 Oh, Nemesis, not that grass-grazing runt... 418 00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:53,083 That grass-grazing runt! 419 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:55,834 He's the King of the Satyrs! Get real! 420 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:57,250 Fine. Great. 421 00:18:57,333 --> 00:19:00,000 I'd really like to punish somebody here, 422 00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:03,375 so this night isn't a total waste of my time! 423 00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:06,041 How about c-community service? 424 00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:08,291 Oh, maybe you could pay back offerings. 425 00:19:08,375 --> 00:19:10,208 What? Sure, sure, yeah. Whatever it takes. 426 00:19:10,291 --> 00:19:13,542 Hold it. Hold it. All right, Pan. This is it. 427 00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:16,542 Your one and only chance to survive this mess. 428 00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:19,291 Fill this with all the gifts you got at the harvest-moon festival 429 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,250 and maybe... I won't have you smitten. 430 00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:22,917 My tribute? 431 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,542 If you don't like the deal, 432 00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:27,750 maybe Nemesis will cut you a better one. 433 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:32,375 Uh... bring on the gifts. 434 00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:39,667 Oh, not enough. Not enough! 435 00:19:39,792 --> 00:19:42,333 Pan's mine! 436 00:19:42,417 --> 00:19:44,208 Wait a second. 437 00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:47,250 We have one more offering. 438 00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:49,208 Let's call this a promise 439 00:19:49,291 --> 00:19:52,792 that the new temple will be dedicated to Demeter. 440 00:19:52,875 --> 00:19:54,625 What?! No smiting?! 441 00:19:54,709 --> 00:19:57,667 Oh, some days I shouldn't even sharpen my arms! 442 00:19:57,750 --> 00:20:00,458 Philoctetes... Trainer of heroes. 443 00:20:00,542 --> 00:20:02,458 You are a clever old goat. 444 00:20:02,542 --> 00:20:03,792 Thanks. 445 00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:05,709 - Hercules? - Yes, ma'am? 446 00:20:05,792 --> 00:20:08,542 Oh, you stick with this guy. 447 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:11,166 You will be a hero in no time. 448 00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:13,125 Yes, ma'am. 449 00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:18,500 - Bill? - That's Phil. 450 00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:19,875 Whatever. I owe you one. 451 00:20:19,959 --> 00:20:21,500 I think you owe me two or three... 452 00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:22,959 My Liege. 453 00:20:23,041 --> 00:20:26,667 Oh, Philly! Do you have a moment for your mother? 454 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:28,041 Okay, okay, Ma. 455 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:30,667 Now you know the truth. I was never really king. 456 00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,917 I was just trying to make you proud. 457 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,166 Philoctetes, I have always said... 458 00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:38,583 Saul! 459 00:20:38,667 --> 00:20:41,000 Yeah, that's what she's always said. 460 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:45,375 Look, Philly, your brother Saul is home. 461 00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:48,667 Ohh! What did I do to deserve this? 462 00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:51,166 I made a surprise for you boys. 463 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,458 Pasture potpie! 464 00:20:54,667 --> 00:20:56,375 I'll be right back with the grape juice. 465 00:20:56,417 --> 00:20:59,500 Hey, I hear your boy, Herc, is one great hero-in-training. 466 00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:00,875 A real contender. 467 00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:03,041 Oh, he is. Where'd you hear that? 468 00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:04,583 The Greekly World News? 469 00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:06,083 No, Ma told me. 470 00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:08,709 And told me and told me. 471 00:21:08,792 --> 00:21:10,834 She never shuts up about you and your work. 472 00:21:10,917 --> 00:21:13,834 Philoctetes this, Philoctetes that. 473 00:21:13,917 --> 00:21:17,166 What do you mean? She never shuts up about you and your sandal sales. 474 00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,458 You're pulling my hoof! Really? 475 00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:22,083 You hear that, Herc? She's proud of me! 476 00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:23,709 She's really proud of me! 477 00:21:23,792 --> 00:21:25,667 Of course, I'm proud of you. 478 00:21:25,750 --> 00:21:28,709 I'm your mother. I'm proud of both of you. 479 00:21:28,792 --> 00:21:29,917 But how would we know? 480 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,458 Yeah, you never tell us. 481 00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:33,542 Well, it's because you boys are always bragging 482 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,041 about yourselves. 483 00:21:35,125 --> 00:21:39,166 So when one of you starts in, I start talking about the other. 484 00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:40,583 Keeps you humble. 485 00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:43,000 I don't want you to get big heads. 486 00:21:43,083 --> 00:21:45,458 You already have big horns. 487 00:21:45,542 --> 00:21:48,375 Which, incidentally, they get from their father's side. 488 00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:49,709 Now, dig in, kids, 489 00:21:49,792 --> 00:21:53,000 before the pasture potpies get cold. 490 00:21:53,083 --> 00:21:55,000 Uh... got any ketchup? 491 00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:57,333 I'll forget I ever heard that. 492 00:21:57,417 --> 00:22:00,458 And don't worry. I know you're a growing boy. 493 00:22:00,542 --> 00:22:02,709 I have seconds for you in the kitchen. 494 00:22:04,667 --> 00:22:06,500 So, did you hear about your sister? 495 00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:09,834 Her pottery business is shooting through the roof! 496 00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:11,917 Hercules, eat! Eat! 497 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,166 What kind of hero doesn't eat?! 35539

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