Original subtitles

♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Is he bold? ♪

♪ No one braver ♪

♪ Is he sweet? ♪

♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪

- ♪ What a guy ♪ - ♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Ask his friends ♪ - ♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪

- ♪ Hercules ♪ - ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Come on ♪ - ♪ No one's fool ♪

♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪

♪ He's in trainin' ♪

♪ Sun is shinin' ♪

♪ And the nicest guy ♪

♪ No complainin' ♪

♪ He was a no one ♪

♪ Zero, zero, give him a quick deed ♪

♪ He's our hero ♪

♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪

♪ From zero to hero ♪

♪ Herc is a hero ♪

♪ He'll be a hero ♪

Wait and see!

The aurora borealis... The magical northern lights.

Many have beheld their beauty,

but few know the remarkable story

behind this glorious, shimmering display.

Well, surprise, surprise.

It begins at Prometheus Academy.

Doesn't everything?

Good morning, students.

Well, soon we will arrive at the Elysian Sunset Resthome

to commence our ripping adventure in volunteerism...

Not that you have a choice.

This is a golden opportunity to spread youthful sunshine.

And it would look smashing on your permanent record.

Here you will meet and mingle with living legends,

and a few who just have high opinions of themselves,

learn wisdom from your elders,

and acquire a taste for strained baba ghanouj.

This trip will be a disaster.

Get your own curse.

Visions are my thing.

No vision... I just know old people.

Well, I know of them.

Those liver spots give me the willies.

- Ew! - I think it's great.

Heroes do more than fight monsters.

They also bring sunshine to people in the sunset of their lives.

Yes, my friend.

There's a lot to be learned from our esteemed elders.

- What? - Well, like, uh... Like, uh...

Oh! If I'd listened to my Daedalus

and not flown into the sun with wax wings...

You wouldn't be famous for doing something stupidly reckless.

Oh, man!

I was this close to wisdom.

This close!

The Elysian Sunset Resthome, bastion of leisure

for legendary Greeks like Tiresias the seer.

I used to have vast knowledge.

Now they pin my room number on me.

And Nereus, a once-powerful shape-shifter.

Time for your medicine, Nereus.

You can't make me swallow that.

I'm a lightning-fast cheetah.

Catch me if you can.

I am the wind! Argh!

This'll help that, too.

We've been getting complaints.

I predict that I'll be visited by a sarcastic teenager.

She will sustain an injury.

Real good, gramps.

I got here ten minutes ago.

Ha ha ha.

Two for two.

Ha ha! OK.

Gorilla!

Great! Tarantula!

Super! Serpent!

Oh, yes, sir, you floor me, Nereus!

Well done. Now dry them, then trim my nails.

Adonis, aren't you supposed to be helping him?

But I am.

I'm giving him useful work to do...

Does wonders for the self-esteem.

His, or yours?

It's a win-win.

OK, where is my assigned senior?

"Mr. Griff, room XXIII".

I told you I hate that strained baba ghanouj!

Oh!

XX-ay-yi-yi.

- Hello? - Tell me you walked into the wrong room,

and I won't throw anything at you.

Well, no, but... Ah!

I've, uh, volunteered my time to... Ah!

I'm here to... Ah!

Could you stop throwing snowballs?

I... I... I brought food.

Is it candy?

No, it's good for you.

Oh.

You don't get many visitors, do you?

On second thought,

anything's better than that strained baba ghanouj.

Bring it up, sonny.

Uh! Ooh!

Hi! I'm Hercules, and I'm here to brighten your day.

Uh, ya, you're one of them sunshine Doofs, aren't you?

- Well, yeah! Yeah, I'm here to... - Doof.

Ugh!

You have disturbed my slumber.

Prepare to face the flame.

Oh, gosh, I... I... I'm really sorry.

I... I... Here, let me help you up.

I'm not giving up! I'm gonna bring you sunshine, Griff.

Thanks for the warning, Doof!

Operation sunshine, day two.

Can't eat flowers, Doof!

Day three.

Herc, have you seen Nereus?

I've been busy being called a Doof.

We were having a great time, and then he turned into a dolphin,

jumped out the window.

My guy won't even come out of his room.

I made him lunch to cheer him up.

Hope he likes tuna fish.

Oh, those were the days, eh, Griffy?

Hephaestus?

God of the forge?

Hercules, come up here and meet a living legend.

You know this kid, Heph?

Sure, that's Zeus' boy.

Really? Seems like a Doof.

All right, so, Griff's a little gruff.

I can deal. I'm coming!

Let me give you a hand.

Uh, thanks.

Huh?

Yep, me and Griff go way back.

A long, long time ago,

I was fooling around with a chunk of coal,

and I created what mortals today call a diamond.

While I figured out how to mass-produce,

I needed someone to guard the original.

So I went to the best treasure guardian in the business...

Griff!

Griff's worse enemy back then

was the king of the most thievish folk in the world...

The Arismapsi.

Ooh, yes, that is a big rock.

Get it for me, will you?

Now, before I die of unfulfilled longing!

Run, you little minions!

Uh-oh. No-o-o-o-o!

Ooh...

But no matter what he tried,

Griff foiled his plans.

I... I had a job to do.

Until finally the old king gave up.

Heh heh heh.

That King Arismap will never give up.

Wow, you're a hero.

You should be famous.

- Oh, I don't want to be famous. - Oh, come on.

You're... You're just being modest.

Everybody wants to be famous.

I said, "no!" Fame is for... Doofs.

Oh! Ugh!

Hey, the Greekly World News!

Oh, take it.

Just please stop falling on me.

Homer, Greekly World News!

No, that's me... Homer, Greekly World News.

Have I got a story for you, one that... that must be told.

Yowza!

Why, that little...

Griff, have I got a surprise for you!

One worse than this?

But, uh... y... you made the front page.

I mean, you're a celebrated hero!

Doesn't... Doesn't that make you happy?

Do I look happy? Let me nest in peace!

Whoa-a-a!

That's the one!

This is our hallway, fly boy!

Who-o-o-o-a!

Ah!

Ah! Move it! I was just putting the moves on a curvaceous carp,

and you're sitting on her!

At last, I've found that stinking Griffin.

The jewel finally will be mine.

Any of you minions got a Lozenge?

Stop!

Put me down!

You're asking for a real pecking.

Surprise!

It's a banquet in your honor.

I have to get back to my nest.

We're having roasted cockatrice.

Really? With toboli stuffing?

Not bad for a Doof, huh?

Well... Make mine to go.

Oh, come on, no way! You're the Griffin of the hour.

You're making a pig of yourself, Nereus.

Some spread, huh, Griff?

You deserve it.

You used to really be something.

Used to be?

Well, yeah, you were a real hero!

I mean, back in your day.

My day?! What am I now, chopped liver?

Chopped liver? I didn't see that.

Load me up!

I'm having a vision...

Little one-eyed men carting off a giant jewel!

What?

My... My nest.

What's the rush?

I had that vision 15 minutes ago.

Those thieves are probably in Crete by now.

Wait, you'll miss dessert!

We made fanikia in the shape of Griffins!

You were still guarding the jewel?

I'm such a Doof.

It's gone. The jewel is gone.

The jewel was in your nest?

Still? After all these years?

How do you kids say it these days?

"Duh!"

Well, Griff, nobody's perfect.

I was... Till operation sunshine here.

You see, Hephaestus, I made Griff leave his nest.

And... it was my fault

the Arismapsi found him in the first place.

What? I... I... I've confessed everything.

You're standing on my tail... Doof!

Oh. Sorry.

Don't worry, Heph. I'll get your jewel back.

Uh, take Hercules with you.

Just kill me now.

He's a good kid... strong, too.

Could come in handy in a pinch.

I want you two on this mission together.

But he's o-o-o-o-o... Uh, retired.

He'll slow me down. He'll wander off. He'll...

He'll leave you behind if you don't get a move on.

Huh? Hey! Hey! Wait up!

We aren't getting off to a very good start.

What do you mean?

I got up to 10,000 feet in no time.

I'm gonna glide awhile.

I... I... I mean working together.

Working together?

I don't want to be seen together.

What is that get-up you're wearing?

Oh, it's from Mediterranean Mail.

It's part of their polar-hero collection.

Some people get way too many catalogs.

Listen, King Arismap's fortress

is just over this mountain range.

But, uh, I'm... I'm a little winded.

Maybe we should rest here for a bit

before going into battle.

You know, us old geezers, we, uh...

we need our, uh, our, uh... naps.

Hey, great idea!

Perfect! As soon as he's asleep,

we'll sneak off and battle King Arismap on our own.

Oh, yeah. Now, don't let me sleep too long.

A couple hours downtime, and I'll... I'll be raring to go.

OK, sure, yeah, sweet dreams.

O-o-o-o-oh!

Ha ha ha. Youngsters are so... trusting.

Sorry, kid! I work better alone.

He's a crafty codger,

but he's still too old for this hero stuff.

Come on, Pegasus!

We gotta save him.

Battle stations!

Prime the catapults!

This is a full minion alert!

Arismap, are you going to hand over that jewel,

or do I have to come in and get it?

Sorry, but I am not receiving visitors today.

It'll take more than a few snowballs

to freeze me out.

Well, how brave of you.

Well, all right, as long as you've invited yourself over,

let me offer you a drink!

Oh... ugh!

They've got Griff!

Griff!

Don't worry, I'll free you.

They'll never capture you with me around.

Wha... Stop it. You're ruining my plan.

- Plan? - I want to be taken inside.

Oh oh, I g... I get it!

It's a... it's a... it's a Trojan-horse sort of thing?

Whatever.

Then I better let myself get taken, too.

- O-o-o-oh. - Ha ha ha ha ha.

Freezing water feels like a thousand knives, eh, Doof?

Not what I had in mind.

Whoa! Who-o-o-o-o-a!

Ooh!

Oh! Good boy, Pegasus.

Oh, Griff, I can't tell you

how it pains me to see you like this...

Because it doesn't!

I love it.

Lozenge?

Oh, no, thanks.

Now, once I release this rope,

the icicle will shatter you

like a drachma-store trinket.

Get it? Ha ha ha ha.

Uh, not before I flex my mighty muscles and break free!

Ah!

I'll say this for the king...

He doesn't scrimp on minions.

I'm gonna be here all week if I don't get some help.

You'd better be right about this.

I'm telling you, I had a vision.

Griff's in trouble.

Well, you could have had a vision about the weather.

I need a shawl!

Give it up.

You couldn't flex your way out of a... very flimsy thing...

Let alone that ice which isn't flimsy at all.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I laugh.

Even your, your insults have gotten tired.

If this takes any longer, I'll have melted free.

Only because of all that hot air you're blowing.

Oh, I need a breather.

Help me finish my crossword,

and we'll try again later, all right?

Now, let me see.

I need a three-letter word for large, flightless bird.

I got it.

That would be "you."

Hmm... y-o-u.

When you need a word for a one-eyed old geezer

who can't pull a rope, let me know.

One-eyed, am I? Ha ha.

Well, I don't need depth perception to... ah!

As a shivering hero-in-training,

I insist you give up.

There's no use running.

There... really is... no use running.

Minions, seize him!

Don't count on your minions for help.

They're a little busy at the moment. Ah!

- Rrr... take that! - I told you I had a vision.

Ooh, oh, here... here comes another one.

Hercules, skate!

Listen, you, no fair coaching.

Hey, this should be a sport.

We'll see who has the last laugh when you're all tied-up.

We certainly will.

No, kid. Don't!

"Don't" isn't in my vocabulary.

Oh!

Oops.

Or is it "Can't?" "Don't" I should listen to.

Whoa!

Do you have any idea how much false beaks cost?

That was evil.

Alas, the pain. Oh, my bursitis.

This is abuse.

Ooh, I'm... I'm sorry. I... I... I... I... I didn't mean to...

Yes, well, if you could just retrieve my ooh-ah ointment

out of that bag.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

- This bag? - No, Hercules, don't!

Who-o-o-oa!

Boy, I'm gonna need that ooh-ah ointment.

Ah! Destroy him carefully, you fool!

Can't breathe!

I am the wind.

I keep telling you to stay away from that strained baba ghanouj.

Not that wind.

Come on, take on someone your own age.

Wow.

The Griff-man's still got it.

And now that I've caught my breath...

Hey, that's it!

Kitchy-kitchy.

No!

My jewel!

Oops.

Ooh! Aah!

Look out!

Don't worry, I'm ready to go another 10 rounds.

Me, too.

Ha ha ha ha.

Still got it.

So do I.

Did the kid tell you I had a vision?

Ooh, I'm on a roll.

Here comes another one.

Angry deity incoming.

Hephaestus... hope he's not too mad.

Let me know.

I'll be over here away from ground zero.

Be something fast!

Fast!

Is that what I think it is?

He did it! He did it! All his fault!

Hmm. Well, not what I had in mind...

A little busy.

Hmm... sparkle... Please? Please?

- Please? - But I like it!

I like it!

Showy, yet tasteful.

Now everyone can enjoy it.

Yes!

My precious jewel... gone.

I have nothing to steal...

No reason to be evil.

Oh, come on. Buck up.

You're brimming with evil.

You think? Oh, thank you.

Definitely!

And I've faced some evil...

- Hey! Butt out, Doof. - Whoa-a-a!

Maybe you're right, Griff.

Of course I'm right.

You can't retire.

I need a worthy foe.

F... Foe?

For what?

For shuffleboard.

Every afternoon at the home,

winner gets the unstrained baba ghanouj.

Bet I can take you.

Over my dead body.

Well, at your age, I wouldn't have to wait too long.

Oh, yeah, well, look who's talking...

Antique beak.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.