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♪ Who put the
glad in gladiator? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,417 --> 00:00:16,375
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,458 --> 00:00:17,738
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
6
00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:19,709
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
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00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:21,792
♪ Our favorite flavor Hercules ♪
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- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
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00:00:23,917 --> 00:00:25,458
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
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00:00:25,542 --> 00:00:26,750
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
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00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:29,041
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
12
00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:31,583
♪ Hercules ♪
13
00:00:31,667 --> 00:00:33,542
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
14
00:00:33,625 --> 00:00:35,041
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
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00:00:35,125 --> 00:00:36,542
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
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♪ Smart and shy ♪
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00:00:37,792 --> 00:00:39,083
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
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♪ No complainin' ♪
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00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,542
♪ He was a no one ♪
20
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,542
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
21
00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:44,750
♪ He's our hero ♪
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00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:48,375
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
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♪ From zero to hero ♪
24
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,375
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
25
00:00:52,458 --> 00:00:57,250
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
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Wait and see!
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00:01:00,917 --> 00:01:03,333
Hercules and the falling stars.
28
00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:09,500
From time immemorial,
29
00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:13,750
humankind has been awed
and inspired by the glittering stars.
30
00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,917
The ancient Greeks gazed upon
a seeming chaos of the night sky
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00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,792
and saw majestic constellations:
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00:01:20,875 --> 00:01:23,291
Scorpio the mighty scorpion,
33
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:26,875
Aries the ram, Taurus
the bull, Leo the lion,
34
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,875
and, of course,
Orion the great hunter.
35
00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,875
Earth and sky were
in cosmic balance...
36
00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:37,709
until a certain
hero-in-training came along.
37
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:43,458
Kid, archery is not
your strong suit.
38
00:01:43,542 --> 00:01:45,333
Maybe we ought to
skip to your next lesson.
39
00:01:45,417 --> 00:01:46,250
No, no. Wait.
40
00:01:46,417 --> 00:01:48,709
One... last... shot.
41
00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:54,917
OK, that does it!
42
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,208
Take as many shots
as you want, kid.
43
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,583
I'm taking cover.
44
00:01:58,667 --> 00:02:00,417
I can do this.
45
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,000
Sorry, Pegasus.
46
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:17,125
I hate the bow and arrow.
47
00:02:17,208 --> 00:02:19,166
Give me a club any day.
48
00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:20,834
Don't even say that!
49
00:02:20,917 --> 00:02:22,166
Huh? Who... Where is that...
50
00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:26,417
You know what I'd give to swap
this bloody club for a bow and arrow?
51
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,583
Wow! Orion!
52
00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:30,583
The greatest hunter ever!
53
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:33,166
I-I-I'm, like, a huge fan!
54
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:38,041
I've been, uh... admiring
your archery technique.
55
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,917
Oh, uh, yeah...
I'm not very good.
56
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,583
You're terrible!
57
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:46,000
I could probably teach
you a trick or two, though.
58
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,834
Really? That'd be great.
59
00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,166
Wouldn't it.
60
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:51,834
But I can't. I've got
no arrows up here.
61
00:02:51,917 --> 00:02:54,333
Greatest archer ever,
and what do I get?
62
00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:58,917
A club, a shield, and a
permanent view of the Pleiades.
63
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:03,917
Not that they're bad-lookin' lassies,
but do you know how long eternity is?
64
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,375
You can't ever
move or come down?
65
00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:11,166
Not until the heavens are torn
apart and the stars fall from the sky,
66
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,959
or some such twaddle.
67
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:16,583
Hey, if I could get you down,
would you teach me archery?
68
00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:19,834
Oh, sure thing, laddie, but how?
69
00:03:25,083 --> 00:03:28,583
Oh, this is great! Orion's
gonna teach me archery.
70
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:34,250
I may not be much of
an archer, but I'm strong.
71
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:35,500
One torn-apart sky comin' up!
72
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:38,875
Arrrgghh!
73
00:03:38,959 --> 00:03:44,041
Oh, sweet baby Hermes! Freedom!
74
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:52,959
Oh, yeah... That feels good!
75
00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:56,709
Oh. Ho ho ho ho!
76
00:04:00,417 --> 00:04:03,000
Come on, laddie.
Let's go hunting.
77
00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:07,625
I know a valley on Crete where
you can shoot centaurs six at a time!
78
00:04:07,709 --> 00:04:09,583
Wh-what about
the archery lesson?
79
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,667
All right, lad.
80
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:15,291
Ever hear of the...
Orion Cluster?
81
00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:20,125
Ha ha... You're gonna
love this, Phil. Watch.
82
00:04:20,208 --> 00:04:21,834
Hang on a sec.
83
00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:26,834
OK, I'm watching.
84
00:04:31,208 --> 00:04:33,417
The Orion Cluster?
85
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,083
I haven't seen that since...
86
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:37,959
Kid, oh, you can't
use that move.
87
00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:40,875
Why not? I'm hitting
the target, right?
88
00:04:40,959 --> 00:04:44,709
Don't you know? The Cluster's
banned in 12 city-states.
89
00:04:44,792 --> 00:04:47,625
The only guy who ever
used it was... Orion.
90
00:04:47,709 --> 00:04:49,375
Where do you think I learned it?
91
00:04:49,458 --> 00:04:55,125
Phil, meet my archery
tutor, Orion. Orion, Phil.
92
00:04:55,750 --> 00:05:00,291
Orion? Ah, Phillip!
It's a great pleasure!
93
00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,291
Oh, good thing I came along.
94
00:05:02,375 --> 00:05:03,855
You were only
teaching the wee sprout
95
00:05:03,917 --> 00:05:06,291
to be a threat to
humanity with this thing.
96
00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:09,166
No-look... Good!
97
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,542
Backhand... Perfect!
98
00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:15,750
Look, kid... I don't want you
learning from this palooka.
99
00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:17,375
What? Why not?
100
00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:20,709
Orion Cluster.
101
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:27,333
He's from a different time, kid... A
brutal time. Like that Orion Cluster...
102
00:05:27,417 --> 00:05:30,041
It's effective,
but it's barbaric.
103
00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:32,625
So he's a little rough
around the edges.
104
00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:35,709
He's the greatest hunter ever.
105
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:40,125
Herc, lad, it's been an Iron
Age since I've been to Athens.
106
00:05:40,208 --> 00:05:42,000
Show me around a little.
107
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:43,625
Let's revel!
108
00:05:43,709 --> 00:05:47,625
Cool, but I... I, um,
gotta go to school first.
109
00:05:47,709 --> 00:05:50,250
School? What in chaos is that?
110
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:52,917
Oh, uh, that's where
we learn stuff, study.
111
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,458
You know, molding
young minds and all that.
112
00:05:57,417 --> 00:06:01,667
And why, exactly, would
you want a moldy mind?
113
00:06:03,417 --> 00:06:05,959
Billions upon billions of stars,
114
00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:10,125
and here, at the very center
of the universe, the Earth.
115
00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:12,792
But why? Why are we here?
116
00:06:12,875 --> 00:06:14,875
I'm here to get my chart read!
117
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:19,083
Hey, Mr. Ptolemy! Are my eternal
schnookums and I compatible?
118
00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:23,041
This is astronomy,
Icarus, not astrology.
119
00:06:23,125 --> 00:06:27,709
Modern astronomy, Icarus,
examines the harmony of the universe,
120
00:06:27,792 --> 00:06:31,083
what we Greeks call "Cosmos"...
121
00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:34,959
A place for all
things, and all things...
122
00:06:38,917 --> 00:06:41,458
in their place.
123
00:06:41,542 --> 00:06:44,625
All right, then...
Starry eyes...
124
00:06:44,709 --> 00:06:46,875
Teach me something
I don't already know.
125
00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:50,041
Wow. You know, Herc meets
the most interesting people.
126
00:06:50,125 --> 00:06:52,542
Bah! No wonder
your mind's moldy.
127
00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:55,458
That chart's at least a
millennium out of date.
128
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:56,959
Orion!
129
00:06:57,041 --> 00:07:01,917
Ahem... Hercules, may
I see you after class?
130
00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:06,375
This is extremely
dangerous, Hercules.
131
00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:10,709
The balance of the Cosmos
is a very fragile thing.
132
00:07:10,792 --> 00:07:12,709
Oh, don't worry, Mr. Ptolemy.
133
00:07:12,792 --> 00:07:15,583
Orion's a nice
guy. He'll be fine.
134
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:18,500
Come on, laddie! Let's do lunch!
135
00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:21,667
Eh, heh heh. Why don't
we go to the cafeterium?
136
00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,625
Oh, my lucky stars.
137
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:26,500
It's Mutton Tettrazinni day!
138
00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:33,083
Hey, guys. This is my friend Orion.
You know, the, uh, constellation.
139
00:07:33,166 --> 00:07:36,750
Ooh! The... the conste...? Well,
no wonder you're so darn big!
140
00:07:36,834 --> 00:07:39,208
You know, you are my
favorite heavenly body.
141
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:42,750
Uh, present company excepted.
142
00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:47,083
Hey, wider orbit, buddy.
143
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:51,583
- Hooky-kooky, what's for lunch?
- Try the fruit from the cornucopia.
144
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:53,667
It replenishes itself.
145
00:07:57,083 --> 00:07:58,083
Not bad.
146
00:08:01,417 --> 00:08:06,792
I'm having a vision. I see
the sky... falling, falling.
147
00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:09,542
Oh, love it when you do
the "chicken little" thing,
148
00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:11,792
my little chicken... guhh!
149
00:08:11,875 --> 00:08:13,792
Wait! You can't go up there!
150
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:16,959
And so I said, "let
them eat baklava!"
151
00:08:17,041 --> 00:08:20,625
Ha ha! You should've seen
that grotesque peasant's face.
152
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:24,125
You're hysterical,
funny, Adonis!
153
00:08:26,041 --> 00:08:28,041
Well, what do we have here?
154
00:08:28,125 --> 00:08:30,166
This balcony's only
for important people.
155
00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:32,542
Oh, and Adonis.
156
00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:36,959
Hmm. A very large and rather
smelly person on our balcony.
157
00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:39,625
May I see your royal
credentials, please?
158
00:08:39,709 --> 00:08:41,625
Royal credentials?
159
00:08:41,709 --> 00:08:45,959
Well, let's see now.
I've got a red carpet here.
160
00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:48,834
Whoaaaaaaaa!
161
00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:52,667
I will not tolerate this!
162
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:56,041
I am a prince and will
be treated with dignity!
163
00:08:57,375 --> 00:08:58,750
Ohh! Uhh!
164
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:05,917
I dream of embarrassing
Adonis like that! You just... do it.
165
00:09:07,625 --> 00:09:11,083
No fear. No apologies. No regrets.
That is the creed of the hunter.
166
00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:17,917
No fear. No
apologies. No regrets.
167
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,583
Oh... he is dreamy.
168
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,417
So manly.
169
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:24,250
And so hairy.
170
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,875
In a good way. In a good way.
171
00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:31,458
Ugh, let's get out of here. I
can feel my mind molding.
172
00:09:31,542 --> 00:09:35,000
Oh, yeah... Ah, ha
ha ha! Yeah, me, too.
173
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:37,417
Hey, later, I'll show
you the Agoura.
174
00:09:38,417 --> 00:09:41,709
This is Athens?
It's all built up.
175
00:09:41,792 --> 00:09:45,542
In my day, it was strictly a
one horse-and-chariot town.
176
00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:50,500
Look out!
177
00:09:54,750 --> 00:09:57,583
Look, you can't just
cross the street like that.
178
00:09:57,667 --> 00:09:59,333
We've got traffic laws.
179
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:05,291
Hey, you seem to turn up everywhere
that mayhem and disorder abound.
180
00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:07,917
- You know this creep?
- You can't give him a ticket.
181
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:12,709
He's Orion, the world's
greatest hunter, like, ever.
182
00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:16,959
Sorry. No one's above the
law, not even a constellation.
183
00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:18,458
Sign here.
184
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:22,250
"I hereby promise to appear at
the Temple of Moving Vehicles..."
185
00:10:22,333 --> 00:10:24,166
Ah, I don't have time for this.
186
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:26,750
- Hey!
- Hooky-kooky, I'm starving.
187
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,917
That fruit went
right through me.
188
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,792
Orion, you can't... Uh, sorry.
189
00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:33,250
Wait!
190
00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:38,083
Constellation on the loose at
Third and Pan-Hellenic Highway!
191
00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:40,208
Requesting immediate back-up!
192
00:10:45,041 --> 00:10:50,250
Hi. I'll have the double
Colossus with extra Tahini.
193
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:55,083
Orion, look, I don't know what it
was like when you were last on Earth...
194
00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:58,542
Ah! Meat on a spit!
Now we're talkin'!
195
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:01,417
Hey! That's my shwarma spit!
196
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,750
Orion! You can't just take that!
197
00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:05,458
Why not?
198
00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:09,000
No fear, no
apologies, no regrets.
199
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:25,875
Aah! The sky is falling!
200
00:11:29,041 --> 00:11:30,709
No!
201
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:36,542
The Cosmos! Ruined!
And it's all your fault!
202
00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:38,208
I am so sorry.
203
00:11:38,291 --> 00:11:40,709
Hey! No apologies, remember?
204
00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:44,000
We'll just hunt those
little beasties down.
205
00:11:44,083 --> 00:11:45,583
Hunt? Them?!
206
00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:47,667
No fear. Come on! Ha ha ha ha!
207
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,583
Fear's not the problem.
208
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:53,000
It's the no regrets part
that I'm a little worried about.
209
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:54,667
But while our hunters hunted,
210
00:11:55,208 --> 00:11:58,375
the Goddess of the Wilds
made a big discovery.
211
00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:01,417
Well, what do ya think, gang?
212
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,583
I know. Ain't exactly
hospitable, is it?
213
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,375
But it's got potential.
214
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:10,750
A nice high canopy there,
maybe a floor of pine needles here.
215
00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:14,667
And plenty of hollow
tree trunks for you!
216
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:18,333
Yep, it'll be cozy enough by
the time ol' Artemis is done with it.
217
00:12:18,417 --> 00:12:21,417
Well, might as
well get manifestin'.
218
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:26,792
Well, I'll be. That
is one big dipper.
219
00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:28,959
Make that the Big Dipper.
220
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:31,083
Only one person
coulda done this.
221
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:34,083
My good ol' buddy
Orion, my darlin's.
222
00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:38,500
The swamp redecorating's
gonna have to wait!
223
00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:45,125
Leo went this way, and
Scorpio went towards Sparta.
224
00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:47,083
Wow! You're good!
225
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,750
They don't call me the great
hunter for nothing, laddie!
226
00:12:49,834 --> 00:12:55,583
I've been wanting to track
these babies for a long time.
227
00:12:55,667 --> 00:13:00,542
Come on! I'll show you
how to bag a giant scorpion!
228
00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:02,375
Awesome!
229
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:04,291
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!
230
00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:05,417
Hut! Hut! Hut...
231
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:08,792
Yeow! Hut! Hut!
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!
232
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:16,166
Oh, my gosh! OK! Now, let's
see. Uh, hero rule number eight...
233
00:13:16,250 --> 00:13:19,041
Um, assess the environs
before initiating action.
234
00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:24,542
There's only one rule in my book,
laddie... Take the problem by the tail.
235
00:13:36,792 --> 00:13:39,625
Hah! One down, three to go.
236
00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:43,792
Uh, I know that property damage
happens, you know, when you're a hero,
237
00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,667
but we just destroyed
their whole city-state.
238
00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:47,500
Ah, they can rebuild.
239
00:13:47,583 --> 00:13:49,583
Trust me. They're grateful.
240
00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:53,125
And so it was that Orion
and Hercules ravaged...
241
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:58,417
Uh, rescued the other
city-states, beginning with Corinth.
242
00:14:02,834 --> 00:14:05,166
Why don't you take
this one, chicky-chops?
243
00:14:05,250 --> 00:14:08,208
Remember... take
the problem by the tail.
244
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:15,041
Or in this case, take
the bull... by the horns!
245
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:17,875
Heh. Hyah! Hah! Yee-hoo!
246
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,291
They'll... rebuild?
247
00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:31,917
Ah! Now you're
gettin' it, laddie.
248
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:37,583
Hercules' bloody reign of
rescue continued in Thessaly...
249
00:14:37,667 --> 00:14:41,917
and finally... the Techno-Greeks
of Abacus Valley...
250
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,041
found themselves
with a rare problem.
251
00:14:44,125 --> 00:14:45,792
Too much ram.
252
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,542
Ahhh! Brilliant.
253
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:58,500
World saved and still time to catch
happy hour at that Gyro World Place.
254
00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:03,041
Maybe we ought
to try Speedy Pita.
255
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,625
Here, laddie. I got
something for ya.
256
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,750
That wee dress you're wearing
doesn't suit hunters like us.
257
00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:15,583
Whoa! A lion skin? Cool! Thanks.
258
00:15:15,667 --> 00:15:20,041
Here's to the life of the
hunter... No fear, no apologies...
259
00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:22,667
And no regrets!
260
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:27,709
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
261
00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:37,250
Anybody in here seen these two?
262
00:15:41,083 --> 00:15:43,750
Uh, hi, Phil. What's, uh, up?
263
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:46,250
Is this what you're learnin'
from this big lummox?!
264
00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:48,000
Hey, we vanquished the monsters.
265
00:15:48,083 --> 00:15:50,583
You trashed four
city-states in three hours.
266
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:52,083
You think that's heroic?
267
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:55,750
Well, yeah... I mean,
we got the job done.
268
00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:59,542
That's all that matters, right, Orion,
huh? I mean, come on, back me up here.
269
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,959
Ya got that right, laddie.
270
00:16:01,375 --> 00:16:05,834
Those wee beasties won't
be darkening our doors again.
271
00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:10,667
OK, so we caused some
minor structural damage.
272
00:16:13,750 --> 00:16:15,250
- Whaa?!
- Ooh!
273
00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:16,834
- Aaah!
- Aaah!
274
00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:19,333
The important thing
is, Athens is safe.
275
00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:34,750
Ahh! You got it, laddie. No
fear, no apologies, no regrets.
276
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:37,917
That's the way a
real man gets respect.
277
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,709
There you are!
278
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:44,417
You owe me 750 drachma
for a shwarma spit, you ruffian!
279
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:45,792
Plus damages.
280
00:16:45,875 --> 00:16:48,875
All right. Either you deal
with this jaywalking rap,
281
00:16:48,959 --> 00:16:52,250
or I charge you with felony
disturbing the Cosmos.
282
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,500
You leveled our Sparta!
283
00:16:54,583 --> 00:16:59,250
- And our Corinth!
- And our Thessaly!
284
00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:01,417
Thessaly was nearly
leveled already.
285
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,458
We were hunting monsters.
286
00:17:03,542 --> 00:17:05,959
Your city-states just
sort of got in the way.
287
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,291
So this is respect. Who knew?
288
00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:12,083
But you can all rebuild!
289
00:17:13,959 --> 00:17:16,417
Does your chart show anything
about invading monsters?
290
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,959
No! There are no monsters.
291
00:17:19,041 --> 00:17:20,476
Haven't you heard
what Herc's been saying?
292
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,667
Th-the monsters are vanquished,
a-a-and Athens is safe!
293
00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:26,667
And sound?
294
00:17:32,166 --> 00:17:33,917
Oh, no! What do we do?
295
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,208
This is a job for
the Orion Cluster.
296
00:17:40,375 --> 00:17:42,667
Orion!
297
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,667
Lay down your weapon!
298
00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:49,625
Artemis. Of all the seedy falafel
joints in all the ancient world,
299
00:17:49,709 --> 00:17:52,583
you have to
manifest in this one.
300
00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:54,417
Spare me, darlin'.
301
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:58,875
Well, well, if it
isn't Hercules.
302
00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:01,875
Oh, uh, hi... heh...
o mighty Artemis.
303
00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:03,166
Tsk tsk tsk.
304
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:07,875
Leave it to a demigod
to tear the sky apart.
305
00:18:07,959 --> 00:18:11,542
You have unleashed an extremely
dangerous mess o' stars, young man.
306
00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:14,333
Oh. Heh. Orion
will take care of 'em.
307
00:18:14,417 --> 00:18:16,417
Honey, I'm not worried
about those critters.
308
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:19,375
You unleashed 'em, I
reckon you can put 'em back.
309
00:18:19,458 --> 00:18:22,792
It's my huntaholic ex-boyfriend
here who's the problem.
310
00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:25,667
Huh?! You two...
know each other?
311
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:29,083
Oh, we were an item
way back. We were young.
312
00:18:29,166 --> 00:18:31,041
Biggest mistake I ever made.
313
00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:37,125
He nearly killed off
every critter on Earth
314
00:18:37,208 --> 00:18:39,417
with that Orion Cluster of his.
315
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:42,375
Zeus wanted to smite
him, but I saved his hide.
316
00:18:42,458 --> 00:18:45,458
Got him a nice cushy
gig in the heavens.
317
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:47,417
But the deal was
you had to stay there!
318
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:48,834
I was bored!
319
00:18:48,917 --> 00:18:52,917
Being a constellation's an
honor, you stubborn ol' coot!
320
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:58,375
Honor?! Rats! You always thought
you knew what was best for me! Well...
321
00:18:58,458 --> 00:19:01,458
I hate to interrupt the little
romp down memory lane,
322
00:19:01,542 --> 00:19:05,083
but does anybody plan on
saving our city-state here?!
323
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:10,417
That's what demigods are for.
324
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,875
Hercules, you better
shake your tail, darlin'.
325
00:19:12,959 --> 00:19:13,875
Oh, right!
326
00:19:13,959 --> 00:19:16,000
Use the Cluster, laddie.
327
00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:21,250
Tonight's new moon brings conflicts.
Aries gives you a needed boost.
328
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:22,583
Huh?
329
00:19:23,709 --> 00:19:25,583
That was needed?
330
00:19:25,667 --> 00:19:27,709
Oh! Unh! Ah!
331
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,375
Grab the problem by the tail.
332
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:32,667
Aah! Ooh!
333
00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:38,959
Financial affairs take
a turn for the worse.
334
00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:43,125
- Retreat, kid!
- Tuesday brings romance!
335
00:19:43,208 --> 00:19:45,083
Use the cluster!
336
00:19:45,166 --> 00:19:47,291
Just be yourself!
337
00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:49,458
Be myself.
338
00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:50,583
Whoa!
339
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:55,333
No!
340
00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:56,417
Don't worry!
341
00:19:56,500 --> 00:20:01,333
I'm using the barbaric Orion Cluster,
but in a modern, Hercules kinda way!
342
00:20:05,709 --> 00:20:10,417
- Atta way, kid! Atta way!
- Now, that's the Hercules I know.
343
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,291
And to think he should
have stayed in bed today.
344
00:20:32,583 --> 00:20:36,208
OK, lover boy, you're goin'
right back where you belong.
345
00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:41,041
Right ascension 55 hours, five
minutes. Declination 8 degrees north.
346
00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:45,875
- Hey! What about our city-states?!
- Ah, what about 'em? Rebuild.
347
00:20:45,959 --> 00:20:51,208
Aaah! Do the words personal
responsibility mean anything at all to you?
348
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:55,458
You're gonna rebuild, or I'll put
you back in the sky so far south,
349
00:20:55,542 --> 00:20:59,291
your famous belt will freeze
to your dang bellybutton!
350
00:20:59,375 --> 00:21:00,750
OK, OK!
351
00:21:00,834 --> 00:21:04,166
I did my share of the
damage. I'll help you out.
352
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,250
I foresee a touching
moment coming.
353
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:33,625
Tell me when it's over.
354
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,208
I'm sorry Artemis
won't let you stay.
355
00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:39,000
Ah, I'm ready to go back. Earth
isn't as much fun as it used to be.
356
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:41,959
Everyone's just too nice
to each other nowadays.
357
00:21:42,041 --> 00:21:46,166
- Here's your lion skin back.
- Keep it, laddie. It's you.
358
00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:47,375
Aw, thanks!
359
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,291
You'll make a great hero, lad.
360
00:21:49,834 --> 00:21:54,125
Who knows? Maybe someday
you'll get to be a constellation.
361
00:21:56,458 --> 00:21:57,875
Hello, ladies.
362
00:21:59,667 --> 00:22:01,750
Well, actually, Herc,
there is available space
363
00:22:01,834 --> 00:22:04,083
between Ophiuchus
and the Corona Borealis.
364
00:22:04,166 --> 00:22:06,542
Well! I mean, woof!
365
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:10,041
This says you will go on a
long, long trip far, far away.
366
00:22:10,125 --> 00:22:12,625
Yes, sir! To the stars, baby!
367
00:22:12,709 --> 00:22:15,625
Me and you! I fly, you ride!
368
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,583
Come on! What do ya say?
28066
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