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♪ Who put the
"glad" in Gladiator? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,417
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:16,208
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,291 --> 00:00:17,417
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,417
♪ No one braver ♪
7
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,750
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
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00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:21,834
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
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00:00:21,917 --> 00:00:23,917
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,709
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
11
00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:26,750
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:28,959
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:29,041 --> 00:00:31,959
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:32,041 --> 00:00:33,625
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
15
00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:35,166
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
16
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,625
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
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♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
18
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♪ And the nicest guy ♪
19
00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:41,083
♪ No complainin' ♪
20
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,083
♪ He was a no one ♪
21
00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:43,643
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
22
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:44,792
♪ He's our hero ♪
23
00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:48,500
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
24
00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:49,583
♪ From zero to hero ♪
25
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,000
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
26
00:00:52,709 --> 00:00:57,917
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
27
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,834
Wait and see!
28
00:01:07,125 --> 00:01:09,333
Homer, Greekly
world news, reporting.
29
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:10,458
Dateline, Athens.
30
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,166
All right, kids, my editor says you
have a genuine front-page shocker.
31
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,917
Frankly, I'm skeptical.
What's this story about?
32
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,500
It's about shame.
33
00:01:20,583 --> 00:01:21,875
It's about royalty.
34
00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:23,750
It's about the shame of royalty.
35
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,500
And the wave of the future!
36
00:01:25,583 --> 00:01:27,083
Steam power.
37
00:01:27,166 --> 00:01:29,417
What say you, wet
glum guy with a crown?
38
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,250
It's about how we lost Helen.
39
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,959
Mmm, no. It's...
it's about how...
40
00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:35,041
I lost Helen.
41
00:01:35,125 --> 00:01:36,875
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
42
00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:38,417
Let's start at the beginning.
43
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,333
Well, it was homecoming week.
44
00:01:40,417 --> 00:01:43,333
And everyone was working
hard to get the school ready.
45
00:01:43,417 --> 00:01:45,291
Or... almost everyone.
46
00:01:45,375 --> 00:01:47,875
Adonis, I was wondering,
47
00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:51,208
maybe we could pitch in
with the decorating this year.
48
00:01:51,291 --> 00:01:52,583
Helen, are you delirious?
49
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:55,291
No. I... I... I just
thought it might be fun
50
00:01:55,375 --> 00:01:57,458
to join in with our classmates.
51
00:01:57,542 --> 00:01:59,166
Oh, but, my dear Helen,
52
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:02,458
it's much more delicious
to lord power over them.
53
00:02:02,542 --> 00:02:06,291
Speaking of which, my favorite
little grunt needs attending to.
54
00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:08,458
Watch this. Oh, Hercules!
55
00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:09,667
It's crooked.
56
00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:11,917
It is not.
57
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,917
Helen, my dear,
it's crooked, right?
58
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,583
It doesn't look crook...
59
00:02:15,667 --> 00:02:18,125
Of course it is!
Fix it, jerkules.
60
00:02:18,208 --> 00:02:20,375
You say it's crooked.
I say it's straight.
61
00:02:20,458 --> 00:02:21,959
What makes you
right and me wrong?
62
00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:23,375
Oh, it's very simple.
63
00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:24,542
I'm royalty.
64
00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,417
Yeah, at home in Thrace.
65
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:27,709
But this is Athens,
66
00:02:27,792 --> 00:02:30,417
which means you're just
a guy with a big mouth.
67
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,875
Oh, you don't know?
No one told you?
68
00:02:32,959 --> 00:02:36,083
I'm also the officially
ordained homecoming king
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00:02:36,166 --> 00:02:37,917
of the Prometheus Academy.
70
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,000
Wha... you're royalty
of the school, too?
71
00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:43,291
Oh, yes. The title's
been passed down
72
00:02:43,375 --> 00:02:45,250
through my family for ages.
73
00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,375
Sort of an heirloom, as it were.
74
00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:50,041
Well I never picked
him to be my king!
75
00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:53,041
Don't I get a say in who my
leaders are? In what way is this fair?
76
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:56,250
Mr. Parentheses, royalty is
founded on the very notion
77
00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:58,875
that life is unfair, for
the commoner, at least.
78
00:02:58,959 --> 00:03:02,083
Hmm. Considering
Athens' reputation...
79
00:03:02,166 --> 00:03:04,000
Cradle of democracy
and all that...
80
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:06,583
That really is quite
a double standard.
81
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,583
Why not let the students
decide for themselves
82
00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:10,208
who'll be their homecoming king?
83
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,291
Sounds like a smashing idea!
84
00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:13,792
But a logistical nightmare.
85
00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:15,709
It's a ridiculous idea!
86
00:03:15,792 --> 00:03:18,667
Ho ho ho! Who'd be fool
enough to run against me?
87
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:21,250
Well, call me a fool.
88
00:03:22,208 --> 00:03:26,959
"Vote Adonis because
he deserves it."
89
00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:29,125
Huh. Why bother?
90
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:33,041
"Vote Hercules because
Adonis doesn't deserve it"!
91
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,417
OK!
92
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:37,125
All right! I'm am
votin' for Her...
93
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:38,583
Wait. What's his name again?
94
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:49,000
Looks like years of bein' a jerk
95
00:03:49,083 --> 00:03:51,542
have caught up
with ya, Adonis, huh?
96
00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:52,959
They were very good years.
97
00:03:53,041 --> 00:03:54,709
I wouldn't change a thing.
98
00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:57,458
O mighty lord of the school,
99
00:03:57,542 --> 00:04:01,792
you are my liege and
I your humble servant.
100
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:05,208
Eh, psst! Woman, get down on
your knee before the imperious one!
101
00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:08,083
You'd think this sort of stuff would
get less embarrassing with time.
102
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:09,291
It doesn't.
103
00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:10,542
Icarus, get up.
104
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,250
But, sire, you're
my mighty king.
105
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:16,625
I'm your homecoming
king. It's not that big a deal.
106
00:04:16,709 --> 00:04:17,917
Hi, Hercules.
107
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,709
So on Friday, when will
you pick me up, 7:00?
108
00:04:20,792 --> 00:04:22,458
- Huh?
- The homecoming?
109
00:04:22,542 --> 00:04:25,083
You're the king,
and I'm the queen?
110
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,625
She ran unopposed.
111
00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,458
The dangers of a
one-party system.
112
00:04:28,542 --> 00:04:31,375
Um, there was one
vote for someone named,
113
00:04:31,458 --> 00:04:33,250
Uh... Feta cheeks.
114
00:04:33,333 --> 00:04:36,583
You were my write-in vote.
115
00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:38,208
Hey!
116
00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:39,917
Oh, w-w-wait.
117
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,083
You're my date to
the homecoming ball?
118
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:44,583
Why, yes, silly.
119
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:47,083
Oh, I've never
gone without Adonis.
120
00:04:47,166 --> 00:04:49,458
This will be fun for us both.
121
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,500
No doubt!
122
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,166
All right, all right, all right!
123
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,250
Stop this at once!
124
00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:57,959
Your rags-to-royalty journey has
been quite the heartwarming tale.
125
00:04:58,041 --> 00:05:01,625
But you'll soon learn the weight
of that crown is a heavy one.
126
00:05:01,709 --> 00:05:02,875
Helen, attend me.
127
00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:05,917
He's so cute when he's needy.
128
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,750
Bye, Hercules. See ya Friday!
129
00:05:09,792 --> 00:05:11,166
Well, I believe you were saying
130
00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:13,500
your royal title is no big deal?
131
00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:14,583
I take it back.
132
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:16,750
Being the homecoming king rules!
133
00:05:29,291 --> 00:05:30,917
And now, fellow Trojans,
134
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,709
we strike a blow
for stallion pride!
135
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,458
The Trojans shall
pay with body parts!
136
00:05:40,542 --> 00:05:42,083
This is an outrage!
137
00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:44,750
Oh! This is disgraceful, sire!
138
00:05:44,834 --> 00:05:47,917
Oh, it lacks any sense
of artistic of éclat.
139
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,166
"Stallion Pride"?
140
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,959
Wh-why would they do this?
141
00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:54,208
I wouldn't dig too deep
for a hidden meaning.
142
00:05:54,291 --> 00:05:56,375
An impish homecoming prank!
143
00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:57,917
I.e. Trojans strike again.
144
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,041
Designed to deflate the
morale of the opposition.
145
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:01,208
Ipso Facto: Us.
146
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:03,375
They never would have
dared such an atrocity
147
00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:04,959
when I was in power.
148
00:06:05,041 --> 00:06:06,625
What are you
going to do about it?
149
00:06:09,166 --> 00:06:11,333
Yeah! Yeah! What are
you gonna do about it?
150
00:06:11,417 --> 00:06:14,625
Well, uh... I guess I could
get a bucket of soapy water
151
00:06:14,709 --> 00:06:16,125
and a... and a scrub brush.
152
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:17,559
I think I could
get that paint off.
153
00:06:17,583 --> 00:06:19,709
Ooh! A brush and soapy water.
154
00:06:19,792 --> 00:06:22,125
Well, that is a bold move!
155
00:06:22,208 --> 00:06:23,917
That'll teach
those wily Trojans.
156
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,083
I-if I could have a word
with my, uh, royal advisors.
157
00:06:27,166 --> 00:06:30,291
We can't strike
back! It's not nice!
158
00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:31,917
Ooh! It's not nice!
159
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,440
Come on. It's all just good-natured
fun. Homecoming tradition.
160
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:37,417
They expect us to
retaliate, your worship.
161
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:38,834
Look, if we do something,
162
00:06:38,917 --> 00:06:41,333
then... then they'll do
something else back.
163
00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:43,792
Yes, sir! That's it, baby!
164
00:06:43,875 --> 00:06:45,583
Stir the pot.
165
00:06:47,166 --> 00:06:48,834
That's how things
get out of hand!
166
00:06:48,917 --> 00:06:50,625
Cassandra, you
agree with me, right?
167
00:06:50,709 --> 00:06:51,583
I don't know!
168
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:55,667
I'd say yes, but something
is holding me back.
169
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:58,625
A weird feeling
of... School spirit?
170
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,875
Eww! Sweet Zeus!
171
00:07:00,959 --> 00:07:02,500
What have I become?
172
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:05,250
Reclaim the honor of
our alma mater, Hercules.
173
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,333
Well, a prank isn't really...
174
00:07:07,417 --> 00:07:09,458
Or give back that crown!
175
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,625
Uh, OK. Uh...
176
00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:17,333
Eagle pride forever!
177
00:07:19,166 --> 00:07:21,959
Eagle pride! Eagle
pride! Eagle pride...
178
00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:34,000
I can't believe it.
Look at this place.
179
00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:37,375
Ugh. I know. It's all so Trojan.
180
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,258
That's not what I was
getting at. Look around.
181
00:07:39,291 --> 00:07:41,959
It looks just like the
Prometheus Academy.
182
00:07:42,041 --> 00:07:43,750
Uh, yeah, right!
183
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:44,917
Next you're gonna tell me
184
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,500
that the Trojans aren't
so different from us.
185
00:07:48,458 --> 00:07:51,959
Your majesty, can we please
dispense with the open-mindedness?
186
00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:54,834
You have a royal responsibility.
187
00:07:54,917 --> 00:07:56,291
Right. Gotta keep my focus.
188
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:58,542
This is all about school spirit.
189
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:00,375
There! That's our target.
190
00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:02,208
OK. The coast is clear.
191
00:08:02,291 --> 00:08:04,500
Commence operation payback.
192
00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:07,709
Ha ha ha! Really.
193
00:08:07,792 --> 00:08:10,250
What I did to that statue
was an improvement.
194
00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:13,583
The Prometheus
Academy should thank me.
195
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,750
Uh... Paris? Our
statue is movin'.
196
00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:18,750
Whatever are you
blabbering about?
197
00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,500
- Whoa.
- Who's that?
198
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,417
- What's he doin'?
- Wow.
199
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,059
- Dude is strong!
- How can he lift that?
200
00:08:23,083 --> 00:08:25,000
What the... I say! Excuse me!
201
00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:27,041
Just what do you
think you're doing?
202
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:33,434
Hey! You messed with our statue.
203
00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:35,125
Now we're messin' with yours!
204
00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:38,750
Ho! Yee-hah! Yessir!
205
00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:42,667
Eagle pride! Caw caw!
206
00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:45,125
That's right! We got you, buddy!
207
00:08:45,208 --> 00:08:47,458
Look, Promethean...
208
00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:50,375
That's a very special
statue you're holding.
209
00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:51,625
And I wouldn't want you...
210
00:08:51,709 --> 00:08:53,792
What? Are the big
bad Trojans worried
211
00:08:53,875 --> 00:08:56,959
about a little prank
with their statue?
212
00:08:57,041 --> 00:08:59,125
Aw... whoop! Whoopsy-daisy!
213
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:00,875
Ooh! Whoa-oh-oh! Whoopsy-daisy!
214
00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:02,875
No! No! Please!
215
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,542
Put it down... please?
216
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:08,000
Oh! You guys are
such babies. It's just fun.
217
00:09:08,083 --> 00:09:10,750
I'm just playin'... oops.
218
00:09:12,834 --> 00:09:15,709
What have you done?
219
00:09:15,792 --> 00:09:19,333
This was a gift
from... Hephaestus!
220
00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:22,250
A present upon the
founding of this academy!
221
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:24,792
Fathers and mothers
bring their children here
222
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:27,166
to see the glorious marvel
that is the pride of Troy!
223
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:29,542
And you... broke it!
224
00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:32,792
Flee, your majesty! Flee!
225
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:37,125
It's supposed to be
good-natured fun!
226
00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:40,125
How'd you get elected
homecoming king, anyway?
227
00:09:40,208 --> 00:09:42,208
What? You voted for me!
228
00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:45,875
No! I voted against Adonis!
229
00:09:45,959 --> 00:09:48,417
You know there's,
like, a whole difference!
230
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:53,500
You have cast us all in the
dirt-dark shadow of shame!
231
00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:55,417
Whoa. That's dark.
232
00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:59,417
Damage control time.
233
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,959
We've got to put a positive
spin on this disaster.
234
00:10:02,041 --> 00:10:03,250
I'll just be honest.
235
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:05,083
You're new at
politics, aren't you?
236
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:07,709
Look, guys, I'm sorry.
237
00:10:07,792 --> 00:10:10,041
Things just sorta
got outta hand.
238
00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:13,166
Indeed! Out of your clumsy hand.
239
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:16,709
Now, let's nip this
power-to-the-people folly in the bud, 'k?
240
00:10:16,792 --> 00:10:17,792
Shall we?
241
00:10:20,917 --> 00:10:23,667
All rise for our
elected royalty!
242
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,166
There's a
contradiction in terms.
243
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,959
Our lovely queen Helen...
244
00:10:28,625 --> 00:10:33,166
And our strapping, but
woefully clumsy King Hercules!
245
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:38,166
Oh, don't feel bad.
246
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:40,166
Your prank got a
little out of hand,
247
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,625
but I'm sure the Trojans
took it all in good fun.
248
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:46,667
No prisoners!
249
00:10:57,083 --> 00:10:59,542
Oh, my! They
seem a little touchy.
250
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,142
Don't worry. I'll take care of
this. Do you want anything?
251
00:11:01,166 --> 00:11:02,643
Maybe a drink or
something? I'll be right back.
252
00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:05,583
So that was the
start of the hostilities?
253
00:11:05,667 --> 00:11:07,333
Yiieee!
254
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,583
Yeah, it got pretty hostile,
255
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,750
but we gave as good as we got.
256
00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:21,291
Eagle pride was preserved,
257
00:11:21,375 --> 00:11:22,291
For what that's worth.
258
00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:24,250
Because when all
was said and done,
259
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,333
we paid a pretty heavy price.
260
00:11:26,417 --> 00:11:28,291
I guess we showed
them, huh, Helen?
261
00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:30,792
Helen? Where'd
she go? What's this?
262
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:33,166
Where's helen? Did she
finally wise up and dump you?
263
00:11:33,250 --> 00:11:34,667
No. It's worse than that.
264
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,625
The Trojans kidnapped Helen!
265
00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:47,500
Given the nature of the crisis,
266
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,542
I've called you all here
as special advisors.
267
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:50,875
The question before us...
268
00:11:50,959 --> 00:11:53,000
How do we get Helen
back from the Trojans?
269
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:54,625
I'm going on a hunger strike!
270
00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:57,959
From now on, I won't
eat until Helen is returned!
271
00:11:58,041 --> 00:12:00,291
So take that, Trojan swine!
272
00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:05,166
Ajax, got an idea?
273
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:10,166
Excuse me. You wouldn't
happen to have a cookie, would ya?
274
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:11,250
A little snacky-wacky?
275
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:12,685
Any munchie-wunchie
will do. Come on.
276
00:12:12,709 --> 00:12:15,250
Look, we can't just burst
in there and grab Helen.
277
00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:19,208
Amazon warriors
cut the "T" off can't.
278
00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:21,458
Tempest, the Trojan
Academy has tightened security.
279
00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:24,000
They'd cream us even
before we got to the gate!
280
00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:25,625
Then we will not sail
281
00:12:25,709 --> 00:12:28,792
to the eternal shores
of the river Styx alone!
282
00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:30,458
I'm kinda looking for a plan
283
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:33,166
that minimizes the
death angle, ya know?
284
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:36,041
Adonis, I could use your help.
285
00:12:36,125 --> 00:12:38,750
My... my what? I'm sorry.
I didn't quite catch that.
286
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,041
What was that last part?
287
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:41,041
Help.
288
00:12:41,125 --> 00:12:42,917
Oh, not so smug now,
289
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,041
are you, King Hercules?
290
00:12:45,125 --> 00:12:46,542
Well, what would you have done?
291
00:12:46,625 --> 00:12:48,059
Usually, when the
Trojans painted the statue,
292
00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:50,583
I'd order my servants to
clean it before anyone saw it.
293
00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:53,125
Then I would fire
off a scathing letter!
294
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:54,208
And that was that.
295
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:57,041
A letter? That's the retaliation
you were demanding?
296
00:12:57,125 --> 00:12:58,875
A scathing letter!
297
00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:02,625
Bursting with verbs... action
words... Really tough stuff.
298
00:13:02,709 --> 00:13:05,375
Hold on! I gotta... Whoa!
299
00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:08,417
Pressure drop. I
kinda stood up too fast.
300
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,875
OK. This may be starvation talk,
301
00:13:10,959 --> 00:13:12,583
But I've got an idea.
302
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,375
Let me get this straight.
303
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:18,834
We sneak into the
Trojan Academy in... that?
304
00:13:18,917 --> 00:13:22,917
Hah! It's so crazy,
it has to work!
305
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:27,041
It's the horseless horse my
Dadalus and I have been working on.
306
00:13:27,125 --> 00:13:28,625
All the pleasures
of horse riding
307
00:13:28,709 --> 00:13:32,000
without all the stinky. Hah!
308
00:13:32,083 --> 00:13:32,917
You're cracked.
309
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,583
No, no. No, he isn't.
310
00:13:34,667 --> 00:13:38,208
In fact, I don't think
it's a bad idea at all.
311
00:13:38,291 --> 00:13:39,583
At... all?
312
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:41,347
OK. It's... it's... it's
not a great idea,
313
00:13:41,375 --> 00:13:43,834
but it's all we've
got to save Helen.
314
00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:45,750
Ho, easy there.
315
00:13:45,834 --> 00:13:48,333
Let's hit the drive-through
on the way, OK? Come on!
316
00:13:50,834 --> 00:13:52,792
"Dear Trojan Academy,
317
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,500
sorry about your
statue and stuff.
318
00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,834
Please take this one instead.
319
00:13:57,917 --> 00:14:00,166
Love, the Prometheus Academy."
320
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,458
Huh. Extending the olive branch.
321
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,125
How very Athenian.
322
00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:07,309
And yet, something seems wrong.
323
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:11,375
Their letters are usually
rife with action words.
324
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,333
I told you so! They're onto us!
325
00:14:17,417 --> 00:14:18,417
It's all over.
326
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:21,458
Good! My blade
thirsts for Trojan blood!
327
00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:25,583
Tempest! I can't
emphasize strongly enough
328
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:28,000
this is not a death raid.
329
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:31,834
It seems a well-intentioned,
if crude, gesture.
330
00:14:31,917 --> 00:14:33,417
I say we take it!
331
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:36,041
Absolutemente! Why
didn't I think of that?
332
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,792
Oh, yeah, that's
great. That's perfect.
333
00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:41,375
Yeah, yeah, it seems to
be sensible enough to me.
334
00:14:41,458 --> 00:14:43,458
Open the gates!
335
00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:45,875
Hah! See? I told
you this would work.
336
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:56,709
Oh, man! I am so
hungry, I could eat a horse!
337
00:14:56,792 --> 00:15:00,166
Hah! Which is pretty ironic
when you think about it.
338
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:02,041
- Shh!
- Oh, don't shush me!
339
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:05,208
All clear!
340
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,291
Uh-oh! Look natural.
341
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:12,458
Stallion Pride!
342
00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:14,917
- Yeah...
- Whatever.
343
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,041
You bet.
344
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,041
She's gotta be here somewhere.
Wh-where are they holding her?
345
00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:22,709
I see Helen in the
company of her captors.
346
00:15:22,792 --> 00:15:25,041
I do not trust your
sorcerer's ways.
347
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:28,250
The only vision I believe
is that of my own two eyes.
348
00:15:28,333 --> 00:15:30,333
She's over there.
349
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:31,709
Oh.
350
00:15:31,792 --> 00:15:32,875
Now is the time!
351
00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:36,291
Trojan, we demand
our queen back!
352
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:38,625
Oh! Hi, Hercules.
353
00:15:38,709 --> 00:15:41,208
It's about time.
354
00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:43,166
I was wondering when
you'd reveal yourself.
355
00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:47,000
You... knew we were here?
356
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:50,750
I'm always wary of
geeks bearing gifts.
357
00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:53,041
Trojans! Prepare to humiliate!
358
00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:58,125
Oh! Very good, Paris!
359
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,250
But you've overlooked
one very important fact.
360
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,083
Herc here is a demigod.
361
00:16:02,166 --> 00:16:03,959
Throw the whole
student body at him!
362
00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:06,166
Ha ha! He'll just keep coming!
363
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,792
Oh, heavens to Betsy.
364
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:10,083
That would be a
problem, wouldn't it, hmm?
365
00:16:10,166 --> 00:16:12,500
That is, if we didn't
have our new...
366
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:15,125
exchange student.
367
00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:22,000
Cousin Otus?
368
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:23,125
Arrrrgh...
369
00:16:23,208 --> 00:16:26,041
Correct. Otus is
a son of Poseidon.
370
00:16:26,125 --> 00:16:27,583
So that makes him...
371
00:16:27,667 --> 00:16:32,083
Eh, let me see now...
Hmm... Oh. A demigod.
372
00:16:33,917 --> 00:16:35,125
I say, Otus,
373
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:37,834
how about a good sound thrashing
374
00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:41,458
for our Prometheus
Academy friend, hmm?
375
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,625
Hercules, I have an idea.
376
00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:47,750
Next year, don't run for king.
377
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,542
Deal.
378
00:17:00,291 --> 00:17:01,792
Abort mission!
379
00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:28,083
They're savages! Savages, I say!
380
00:17:30,375 --> 00:17:32,083
Get 'em! Get 'em!
381
00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:35,542
Wake up! Wake up, my liege!
382
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:36,750
Talk to me, buddy!
383
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:39,500
What happened?
384
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:42,458
You know, for a demigod,
you've got a glass jaw.
385
00:17:42,542 --> 00:17:45,250
Better to die on our feet
than live on our knees!
386
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,375
What?
387
00:17:46,709 --> 00:17:48,417
Surrender is
perfectly reasonable
388
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,959
and much less messy
than death. Watch.
389
00:17:53,834 --> 00:17:56,291
Hello! Hello?
390
00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:58,500
We surrender!
391
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,542
Ouch! Ooh! Ah!
392
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:04,875
OK. I'm open to
other suggestions.
393
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:08,041
Hah! Boiler's ready, baby!
394
00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:09,709
Icarus, wh-what are ya doin'?
395
00:18:09,792 --> 00:18:12,417
Well, I'm an
inventor's son, buddy,
396
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:15,041
and this cart's got
a few surprises.
397
00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:20,000
Witness the awesome
glory of steam power!
398
00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:31,542
Whoa. It moves.
399
00:18:31,625 --> 00:18:32,750
Barely.
400
00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:37,250
Hooo-whee! Eat my dust, Troy!
401
00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:38,583
Whoo!
402
00:18:39,959 --> 00:18:42,458
Icarus, c-can't
we go any faster?
403
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,083
Whoo... well, no. Come on.
404
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,601
We're centuries ahead
of ourselves as it is.
405
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,959
Just calm down.
406
00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:50,542
As dreadfully exciting
as this chase is,
407
00:18:50,625 --> 00:18:53,500
I think I shall put an
end to it before I grow old.
408
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:56,417
Ready the Augean stable cheese!
409
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,166
Yeah! Right here!
410
00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,750
Aye, aye, sir!
411
00:18:59,959 --> 00:19:01,917
Yes, sir! You got it!
412
00:19:06,417 --> 00:19:08,125
Let them have it!
413
00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:12,417
Who wants the cheese?
414
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,250
Take that!
415
00:19:14,834 --> 00:19:16,041
Take that!
416
00:19:16,125 --> 00:19:17,500
How do ya like that?
417
00:19:20,792 --> 00:19:23,625
Wow! That is ripe!
418
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:28,291
D-ooh! There's the stinky!
419
00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:31,917
Hey! We're pickin' up speed.
420
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:34,834
We're gonna make it!
421
00:19:35,709 --> 00:19:38,583
Uh, not to do my usual
raining on the parade,
422
00:19:38,667 --> 00:19:40,667
uh, but we're
headed for a cliff.
423
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:42,166
A cliff?
424
00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:45,291
Icarus, can't you stop us?
425
00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:46,709
Not to worry, my liege.
426
00:19:46,792 --> 00:19:50,291
Hah! This thing still has a
few tricks up its wooden sleeve.
427
00:19:51,875 --> 00:19:53,125
That's right!
428
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:54,583
Wings!
429
00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:03,375
Icarus! We're not flying!
430
00:20:03,458 --> 00:20:04,542
Well, yeah, but the winds
431
00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:06,542
will cut the impact
of the crash by 10%.
432
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:21,709
See? Those wings really
did the trick, huh? Huh?
433
00:20:21,792 --> 00:20:25,166
Have a nice swim
home, Hercules. Heh heh.
434
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:28,291
I'll give your best
to Helen! Heh heh!
435
00:20:28,375 --> 00:20:31,542
Stallion pride! Stallion pride!
436
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:34,291
Stallion pride...
437
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,166
So what have you
learned from all this?
438
00:20:36,250 --> 00:20:39,291
Honor is kept only by the sword.
439
00:20:39,375 --> 00:20:42,083
Perhaps the horseless
horse needs a little fine-tuning.
440
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:44,834
School spirit should be
left to girls with pompoms.
441
00:20:44,917 --> 00:20:46,083
Democracy reeks.
442
00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:47,834
Being a leader is tough?
443
00:20:47,917 --> 00:20:49,917
Don't be swayed by the crowd?
444
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,542
Pranks can get outta hand?
445
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:52,667
I... I don't know!
446
00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:55,667
Look, what I do know
is that I'm not giving up.
447
00:20:55,750 --> 00:20:57,709
We've gotta find a
way to save Helen!
448
00:20:57,792 --> 00:20:59,000
Save me?
449
00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:01,542
Hercules, whatever
are you talking about?
450
00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:05,125
Helen! You escaped! How?
451
00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,333
Escaped?
452
00:21:06,417 --> 00:21:08,917
You were the Trojans'
prisoner, my darling.
453
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,500
Oh, you sillies.
454
00:21:11,583 --> 00:21:13,625
I was their guest.
455
00:21:13,709 --> 00:21:16,834
You see, I thought this
whole homecoming rivalry
456
00:21:16,917 --> 00:21:21,041
had gotten out of hand, so
I decided to do something.
457
00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:24,417
I went straight to Troy
and talked to that Paris.
458
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,083
And you know what? Hmmm.
459
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:28,625
He's not so bad after all.
460
00:21:28,709 --> 00:21:30,250
Wait! You weren't a prisoner?
461
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:31,834
No!
462
00:21:31,917 --> 00:21:34,375
But I am going to be Paris' date
463
00:21:34,458 --> 00:21:36,000
for their homecoming dance.
464
00:21:36,083 --> 00:21:37,291
Aah!
465
00:21:37,375 --> 00:21:38,875
I'm just glad you're safe.
466
00:21:38,959 --> 00:21:42,333
Hoo hoo! Now the
healing can begin!
467
00:21:42,417 --> 00:21:44,333
Come on! Group hug!
468
00:21:45,917 --> 00:21:46,959
Or not.
469
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:48,810
OK. How about hanging
out at the speedy pita?
470
00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:51,417
OK, cool. Let's go.
Yeah. Heh. I'm starving.
471
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:52,500
- Sure.
- OK. Yeah.
472
00:21:52,542 --> 00:21:53,643
Well, I suppose I could do that.
473
00:21:53,667 --> 00:21:54,667
Who's paying?
474
00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:57,834
So she wasn't even kidnapped.
475
00:21:57,917 --> 00:21:59,417
I gotta spice
this story up a bit.
476
00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,291
Forget this high
school rivalry stuff.
477
00:22:01,375 --> 00:22:02,500
We need a war!
478
00:22:02,583 --> 00:22:04,750
A 10-year war
between city-states,
479
00:22:04,834 --> 00:22:07,291
started by Helen, whose
face could launch a hundred...
480
00:22:07,375 --> 00:22:09,500
No. Make that a thousand ships.
481
00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:11,834
I'll throw in Achilles,
give it a tragic angle.
482
00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:14,208
Now we're cookin'! Yowzah!
34231
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