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♪ Who put the
"glad" in Gladiator? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
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♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,542 --> 00:00:16,375
♪ Hercules ♪
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00:00:16,458 --> 00:00:17,291
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,737
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
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00:00:19,417 --> 00:00:21,834
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
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00:00:21,917 --> 00:00:23,917
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
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00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,750
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
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00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:26,750
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
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00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:29,166
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
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00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:31,959
♪ Hercules ♪
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00:00:32,041 --> 00:00:33,625
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
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00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:34,917
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
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00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,625
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
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♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
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♪ And the nicest guy ♪
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00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:40,709
♪ No complainin' ♪
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00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:41,792
♪ He was a no one ♪
20
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,583
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
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00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:44,792
♪ He's our hero ♪
22
00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:48,208
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
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00:00:48,291 --> 00:00:49,417
♪ From zero to hero ♪
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00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:51,750
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
25
00:00:52,417 --> 00:00:57,250
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
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Wait and see!
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00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:10,000
Long, long ago, in
ancient, ancient Greece,
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00:01:10,083 --> 00:01:12,875
elemental chaos ruled the earth.
29
00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:16,542
It was the dark
age of the Titans.
30
00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:20,709
The mighty Zeus himself stepped
up and stopped the pandemonium.
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00:01:20,792 --> 00:01:23,041
Safely imprisoned
beneath the deepest sea,
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the Titans ruled no more.
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00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:28,166
Gods and mortals alike rejoiced.
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00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:30,208
Everyone was happy.
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00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,834
Well, almost everyone.
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00:01:32,917 --> 00:01:37,208
Comrades! The noble Titans
have been captive too long.
37
00:01:37,291 --> 00:01:40,542
We demand their freedom!
38
00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:42,208
Yes!
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00:01:42,291 --> 00:01:44,625
Today we bring the usurper Zeus
40
00:01:44,709 --> 00:01:47,875
to his 60-cubit-high knees!
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00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:50,583
Yes!
42
00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:53,000
Today Zeus shall know and fear
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00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:56,917
the people's organization
of titanic liberators!
44
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,792
Yes!
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00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:01,542
For today, we target the
Prometheus Academy,
46
00:02:01,625 --> 00:02:02,458
for it is there
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00:02:02,542 --> 00:02:06,583
we shall seize the usurper's
own flesh and blood...
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00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:08,000
Hercules!
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00:02:08,083 --> 00:02:12,291
Pootl! Pootl!
50
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:16,166
Oh, wow. Icarus, what
happened in there?
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00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:17,500
You're crying.
52
00:02:17,583 --> 00:02:18,583
Ohh!
53
00:02:18,625 --> 00:02:20,500
Tears of joy, my friend!
54
00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:22,542
Tears o' joy.
55
00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:24,709
My career-destiny reading.
56
00:02:24,792 --> 00:02:26,583
Read it, and you,
too, shall weep.
57
00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:30,208
It says you're destined for
a career in a Greek chorus?
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00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:31,500
That's right!
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00:02:31,583 --> 00:02:33,667
Musical theater, baby!
60
00:02:33,750 --> 00:02:36,208
A Greek chorus line.
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00:02:36,291 --> 00:02:38,208
Oh, Gods! I hope I get it.
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00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,375
Hercules.
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00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:42,166
So, Mr. Parenthesis, sir,
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00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:44,208
how does this career test work?
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00:02:44,291 --> 00:02:46,792
With great exactitude
and a bucket of oxen guts.
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00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,875
Oxen... Guts.
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00:02:48,917 --> 00:02:50,583
Minus the kidneys. Too slippery.
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00:02:50,667 --> 00:02:53,917
For generations, we have used
the oracular reading of oxen guts
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00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,959
to predict our
students' careers...
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00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:57,417
or lack thereof.
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00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:58,333
Yeggh.
72
00:02:58,417 --> 00:03:01,458
Couldn't you use some sort
of... aptitude test instead?
73
00:03:01,542 --> 00:03:02,792
We tried that.
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00:03:02,875 --> 00:03:06,291
The oxen guts were
more accurate by 72%.
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00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:08,208
- Aha!
- What is it?
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00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:11,166
These guts clearly
indicate, alpha...
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00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,667
That this ox needed
more roughage,
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00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:17,667
and, beta... that you are
destined for a career as a liberator.
79
00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:18,792
A liberator?
80
00:03:18,875 --> 00:03:22,208
Oh. You mean someone
who frees people,
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00:03:22,291 --> 00:03:23,291
does good deeds?
82
00:03:23,375 --> 00:03:25,792
Ha ha! Sounds like a hero to me.
83
00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:27,709
Whoops. Misread the pancreas.
84
00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:28,959
My mistake.
85
00:03:29,041 --> 00:03:31,208
You're not going
to be a liberator.
86
00:03:31,291 --> 00:03:33,208
You're going to be a librarian.
87
00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:34,417
What?
88
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:35,792
No way.
89
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:40,208
Librarians hang out
in... Eegh! Libraries.
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00:03:40,291 --> 00:03:41,917
I'm a hero-in-training.
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00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,792
Hercules, we live in
an age of learning...
92
00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:47,458
Reason, Philosophy...
With the occasional sacrifice.
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00:03:47,542 --> 00:03:50,417
There is simply no
place in the modern world
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00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:51,917
for the mindless, sweaty,
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00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,875
hairy-backed
machismo of the hero.
96
00:03:55,041 --> 00:03:55,875
What's all this, then?
97
00:03:55,959 --> 00:03:57,333
Another "Beat Sparta" rally?
98
00:03:57,417 --> 00:03:59,041
No. It couldn't be.
99
00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:00,525
But it is. No, it
isn't. Yes, it is.
100
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,834
It's Pootls! Hide!
101
00:04:02,917 --> 00:04:04,500
Why? They're so cute,
102
00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,000
with those poofy little tails.
103
00:04:06,083 --> 00:04:07,417
Not poodles.
104
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,500
Pootls!
105
00:04:08,583 --> 00:04:10,250
The Popular... or
is it the People's...
106
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,750
Organization of
Titanic Liberators.
107
00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:15,083
It's a radical group who
want to return to the dark age
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00:04:15,166 --> 00:04:17,291
when Titans ruled the earth.
109
00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:20,000
Hah. This is where
you need a hero... ugh!
110
00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:23,333
Tsk tsk tsk. A head is
a terrible thing to waste.
111
00:04:23,417 --> 00:04:26,333
We'll reason our
way out of this,
112
00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:28,000
if I can find the right page.
113
00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:30,583
Uh, uh... Ilcarus,
114
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:33,166
your flair for the
dance is stunning,
115
00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:36,959
but we are practicing
the joy of javelins today.
116
00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:39,333
Come on, Mr. Phys Oedipus!
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00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:40,875
Soft sandal, everybody.
118
00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:46,792
Oh! Dance, ten. Brains, three.
119
00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:51,500
Huh.
120
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,834
Well, that doesn't
sound very soft.
121
00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:56,875
Ooh-ooh! Transfer students.
122
00:04:56,959 --> 00:04:58,750
Oh, I see you're ready...
123
00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:01,834
Ready for javelin day. Great!
124
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:06,750
That'll be a lovely
olive soufflé, Helen.
125
00:05:06,834 --> 00:05:09,875
Does anyone know
why we always, always,
126
00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:12,625
always keep a
soufflé on the fire?
127
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:14,000
Cassandra?
128
00:05:14,083 --> 00:05:16,625
You just never know
who's going to pop by.
129
00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:19,500
That's right, Cassandra.
That's exactly right.
130
00:05:19,583 --> 00:05:22,458
Like the invading Titanists
outside our classroom.
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00:05:22,542 --> 00:05:23,959
Oh!
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00:05:24,041 --> 00:05:25,709
Barbarian!
133
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:29,709
A gentleman should always
abduct a lady from the left.
134
00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:32,792
Uh, sorry, ma'am.
135
00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:43,250
Full classroom emptiness
136
00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:46,375
99.9% double confirmed
and re-verified, sir!
137
00:05:46,458 --> 00:05:48,083
Where is Hercules?
138
00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:50,625
Uh, well, sir, he's the .1.
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00:05:50,709 --> 00:05:52,542
Whereabouts currently
negatively known,
140
00:05:52,625 --> 00:05:53,834
uh, sir!
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00:05:55,583 --> 00:05:58,083
Students of the
Prometheus Academy,
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00:05:58,166 --> 00:06:00,542
we are the Pootls.
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00:06:00,625 --> 00:06:03,125
Oh, the poodles,
like the fluffy dog.
144
00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:06,208
No, not like the fluffy dog.
145
00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:09,709
We are the Peoples'
Organization of Titanic Liberators.
146
00:06:09,792 --> 00:06:13,625
And you, boys and
girls, are our hostages.
147
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:16,083
Ooh! I always wanted
to be a hostage.
148
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:18,542
It's so edgy. The bewilderment,
149
00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:22,041
the unspeakable
mind-bending terror.
150
00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:25,041
Actually, it's a lot like
hanging out with you.
151
00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:29,125
Cooperate and
everything will be just figgy.
152
00:06:29,208 --> 00:06:31,917
Now, can anyone tell
me the whereabouts
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00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,834
of one of your little friends
154
00:06:33,917 --> 00:06:36,625
by the name of Hercules?
155
00:06:36,709 --> 00:06:39,000
Ha! Poodle boy doesn't know
156
00:06:39,083 --> 00:06:43,583
is that our hero-in-residence
is in Parenthesis' office.
157
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:45,625
Adonis, I can't stay here.
158
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:48,458
I have an olive soufflé
in the home grec oven.
159
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,583
It'll just be a disaster.
160
00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:51,834
Fear not, my princess,
161
00:06:51,917 --> 00:06:54,125
I will speak with
this uncouth ruffian.
162
00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:56,959
Excuse me, I believe
you are the lead poodle.
163
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,333
Top dog if you will.
164
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:02,125
Top dog, ah, me.
Yes, well, look.
165
00:07:02,208 --> 00:07:04,667
Daddums is richer than a
chocolate-covered falafel ball.
166
00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:09,458
Let us go and you can fill
in any amount you'd like.
167
00:07:09,542 --> 00:07:12,417
There is no price tag
on freedom, rich boy.
168
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,333
Now, where is Hercules?
169
00:07:14,417 --> 00:07:17,625
Oh, no. We nobles have
a very strict code of honor.
170
00:07:17,709 --> 00:07:19,709
I could never
betray a classmate.
171
00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:20,792
Very well.
172
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,208
Major Bias, prepare a hot bath
173
00:07:23,291 --> 00:07:25,000
for this honorable young noble.
174
00:07:25,083 --> 00:07:27,375
Oh, that's better. Thank you.
175
00:07:27,458 --> 00:07:29,667
A bath of boiling oil.
176
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,041
He's in Parenthesis' office.
177
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,500
Retrieve him at once.
178
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,542
Adonis, how could you?
179
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:38,750
Well, what can I say?
180
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:42,333
We nobles also have a very
strong instinct for self-preservation.
181
00:07:43,291 --> 00:07:46,083
Get ready for
some heroic action.
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00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,083
No, Hercules.
183
00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,375
These blue scrolls,
184
00:07:48,458 --> 00:07:49,768
copyright the
Minoan construction
185
00:07:49,792 --> 00:07:50,792
and commode company,
186
00:07:50,875 --> 00:07:53,959
and human reason
are our best weapons.
187
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:56,125
Aha. Here it is.
188
00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:59,041
Commence non-traditional
entry maneuvers.
189
00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:08,625
Negative herculean presence.
190
00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:11,041
Effect return to
operations center, ASAP.
191
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:15,333
See there? A perfect example
of the superiority of reason
192
00:08:15,417 --> 00:08:16,667
over impulsive action.
193
00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:19,250
Now, please save us
from that giant aqueduct rat,
194
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,333
man-eating variety, while
I ponder our next step.
195
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:30,750
Ow!
196
00:08:36,959 --> 00:08:40,375
Capital! This branch of
the aqueduct goes directly
197
00:08:40,458 --> 00:08:43,875
and conveniently to the Athens
police department's men's room.
198
00:08:43,959 --> 00:08:46,333
There. Reason has saved us.
199
00:08:46,417 --> 00:08:49,250
Reason wasn't the one
kicking rat tail back there.
200
00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:51,208
Let's see now, uh,
201
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:53,709
this way will take
us to the cafeterium.
202
00:08:53,792 --> 00:08:56,041
Whatever reason dictates.
203
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:58,291
All right, look alive, men.
204
00:08:58,375 --> 00:09:01,250
The Athens P.D.
received an urgent S.O.S.
205
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:02,834
about rampaging poodles.
206
00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:06,917
We've called in the expert.
207
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,250
The dog catcher.
208
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,417
We are not poodles,
we are Pootls!
209
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:16,291
The People's Organization
of Titanic Liberators.
210
00:09:16,375 --> 00:09:19,625
Uh, this canine
confusion is a negative, sir.
211
00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:20,959
I know.
212
00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:22,709
We are to be taken seriously.
213
00:09:22,792 --> 00:09:24,792
We have demands!
214
00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:27,291
Sorry to waste your time.
215
00:09:27,375 --> 00:09:29,083
What are your demands?
216
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:32,333
I demand to speak with Zeus!
217
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:34,500
Forget it!
218
00:09:34,583 --> 00:09:37,959
Zeus has a strict "No
negotiating with Titanists" policy.
219
00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:40,166
But I'll run it by him.
220
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,250
You see? Brain power, my boy,
221
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:50,375
has allowed us...
Shh! There's the leader.
222
00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:53,041
Soon Zeus himself will cower.
223
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:55,375
Be proud, my Pootls!
224
00:09:57,542 --> 00:09:59,083
They're holding
the school hostage.
225
00:10:00,542 --> 00:10:03,083
A classic hero situation.
226
00:10:03,291 --> 00:10:07,083
Heroics and reckless horseplay
are forbidden in the cafeterium.
227
00:10:07,166 --> 00:10:08,417
Hercules, stop!
228
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,458
This means detention.
229
00:10:11,542 --> 00:10:12,709
Hercules.
230
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,834
As a hero-in-training,
I must request
231
00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:18,166
that you release these
innocent students and surrender.
232
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,667
I think not.
233
00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:22,083
Spawn of Zeus!
234
00:10:22,166 --> 00:10:23,208
Aah.
235
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,291
Sorry. Sometimes I don't
know my own strength.
236
00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:29,291
That makes two of us.
237
00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:49,250
Uh-oh.
238
00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:52,208
Ye Gods and minor deities,
239
00:10:52,291 --> 00:10:57,041
the incredibly horrible
giant and half-titan Antaeus.
240
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:02,125
Aah! Aah!
241
00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:04,959
Feels like... a
whole Titan to me.
242
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,166
Hero to plush
toy, just like that.
243
00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:13,583
Hercules!
244
00:11:21,166 --> 00:11:23,625
And so, sirens blaring,
245
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:27,208
the Athens P.D. raced
to the temple of Zeus
246
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:29,041
with the grim news.
247
00:11:29,291 --> 00:11:32,500
This is gonna go over
like a bronze balloon.
248
00:11:32,917 --> 00:11:36,375
You're having trouble with
a bunch of fluffy doggies?
249
00:11:36,458 --> 00:11:37,875
No, sir. The Pootls.
250
00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:40,625
A pack of
Titan-loving extremists.
251
00:11:40,709 --> 00:11:43,000
They want you
to free the Titans.
252
00:11:43,125 --> 00:11:45,417
What? Free the Titans?
253
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:50,166
Do you have any idea what it was
like in the dark age of the Titans?
254
00:11:50,542 --> 00:11:51,709
Dark?
255
00:11:51,792 --> 00:11:54,917
It was bedlam! Pandemonium!
256
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:59,166
The unrelenting bleakness
of primordial chaos.
257
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:01,750
Plus there was this nasty odor.
258
00:12:01,875 --> 00:12:04,166
And they want to
go back to that?
259
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:09,041
I'll inform the Titanists that you
will not give in to their demand.
260
00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:15,291
Don't bother. Heh, I'll deal
with the Titanists myself.
261
00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:19,458
Hephaestus! Charge
up the bolts, baby!
262
00:12:19,959 --> 00:12:22,083
Herc? Herc-meister?
263
00:12:22,166 --> 00:12:23,166
Come on, come on, buddy.
264
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,250
How many fingers am
I holding up? Come on.
265
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:27,291
Uh, that's a trick question.
266
00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:29,750
They're toes, all toes.
267
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,417
His sundial's been rung.
268
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:36,709
Let me see, school taken by
Pootls, students held hostage,
269
00:12:36,792 --> 00:12:39,375
hero-in-training confounded...
270
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:43,417
This calls for
immediate thought.
271
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,959
Plan alpha... Do
nothing, very tempting.
272
00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:48,166
Plan beta... What of my soufflé?
273
00:12:48,208 --> 00:12:52,250
Uh, can't somebody do something
before we have a culinary disaster.
274
00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:53,333
I can.
275
00:12:53,417 --> 00:12:56,333
Deep in each one of
us is a special ability,
276
00:12:56,417 --> 00:13:00,458
I know it, you know
it, the ox guts know it.
277
00:13:00,542 --> 00:13:06,291
Now, it's time for my
gods given talent to shine.
278
00:13:06,375 --> 00:13:07,375
Icarus...
279
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:12,583
♪ Hello, my dolma,
hello, my date loaf ♪
280
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,208
♪ Hello, my psychic gal ♪
281
00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:18,375
♪ Yakka-ta-ta, yakka-ta-ta ♪
282
00:13:18,458 --> 00:13:19,667
Ta-da!
283
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:25,125
Break a leg, Icarus.
Or two, ideally.
284
00:13:25,208 --> 00:13:29,000
You can't keep this kind of
talent from the world, baby.
285
00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:31,375
Now come on, let us go.
286
00:13:31,458 --> 00:13:33,208
Jazz hands, everybody.
287
00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:34,625
Musical theater.
288
00:13:34,709 --> 00:13:36,542
Yeah, isn't it magical?
289
00:13:36,625 --> 00:13:39,583
I hate musical theater.
290
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:41,583
Oh, even rock opera?
291
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:43,250
Hey, leave him alone!
292
00:13:43,417 --> 00:13:45,583
Ah, spawn of the usurper.
293
00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:47,959
Still feeling heroic?
294
00:13:48,041 --> 00:13:50,083
No! Think!
295
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,208
That's right, Antaeus.
296
00:13:52,291 --> 00:13:54,208
No more Mr. Thinking guy.
297
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:57,125
I don't care how big
and rocky you are.
298
00:13:57,208 --> 00:14:00,000
I'm a hero-in-training
and I... Titanist!
299
00:14:00,083 --> 00:14:01,959
Hold that thought, would you?
300
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,709
Zeus has heard your demand.
301
00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:06,333
He'll be here momentarily
302
00:14:06,458 --> 00:14:09,917
to deliver his reply personally.
303
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,834
Excellent. Sorry,
you were saying?
304
00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:16,250
I was saying, I'm
a hero-in-training.
305
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,542
You can keep me, but you'd
better release my friends,
306
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:21,083
or... or else!
307
00:14:21,166 --> 00:14:23,417
All right. OK, you asked for...
308
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,208
Huh? You'll let them go?
309
00:14:25,291 --> 00:14:28,333
Well, uh, oh, great. Uh, thanks.
310
00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:29,500
It's my pleasure.
311
00:14:29,583 --> 00:14:31,875
Major Bias, release
the other students.
312
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:33,166
Sir, yes, sir!
313
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,083
Oh, yes!
314
00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:37,500
Sweet freedom.
315
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:40,625
The 2-step combo
gets them every time.
316
00:14:40,709 --> 00:14:43,333
Zeus is gonna
give these Titanists
317
00:14:43,417 --> 00:14:46,291
a one-way ticket to Hades.
318
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,208
But Hercules is still in there.
319
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:51,834
Oh, don't worry,
my little ingenue.
320
00:14:51,917 --> 00:14:55,166
Herc has some fancy
footwork of his own.
321
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:58,041
Heh, I knew a little
action was all we needed.
322
00:14:58,291 --> 00:15:01,166
The hostages are
free. Problem solved.
323
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:04,959
That, my heroic friend, is
where you are mistaken.
324
00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:10,375
You are the only hostage I need.
325
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:12,667
I always planned
to let the others go.
326
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,834
Oh, oh... oh.
327
00:15:14,917 --> 00:15:19,166
You heroes are so strong on
action, and so weak on reason.
328
00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:21,875
There.
329
00:15:21,917 --> 00:15:24,458
The perfectly reasoned attack.
330
00:15:29,083 --> 00:15:31,208
You'll never get away
with this. My father will...
331
00:15:31,291 --> 00:15:33,417
Do exactly as I say.
332
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,750
Zeus will not endanger his son,
333
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,125
his demi-godling.
334
00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:39,417
You see, Hercules,
335
00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:40,875
we are much alike, you and I.
336
00:15:40,959 --> 00:15:42,875
Caught between two worlds.
337
00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:45,542
Except I'm good and you're evil.
338
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:46,709
Now you're splitting hairs.
339
00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:49,458
I'm so sorry, I beg
your pardon, but...
340
00:15:49,542 --> 00:15:52,208
Oops. Recommend
prisoner evacuation
341
00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:54,792
to low or non-risk
location, sir!
342
00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:56,583
Very well, Major.
343
00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:58,166
Hey, where are we going?
344
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:04,291
Parenthesis!
345
00:16:04,375 --> 00:16:06,375
As you can see,
my, if I may say so,
346
00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:09,333
cleverly reasoned subterfuge
has effected your escape,
347
00:16:09,417 --> 00:16:12,542
which your heroics, brave
as they may be, could not.
348
00:16:15,417 --> 00:16:17,208
Hercules.
349
00:16:22,291 --> 00:16:25,166
Isn't the Colossus
supposed to be in Rhodes?
350
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,917
Well, speaking as a former
Rhodes scholar honorary,
351
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,583
this certainly isn't
that Colossus.
352
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:34,959
Hello! Enter Zeus.
353
00:16:36,792 --> 00:16:39,291
Sweet Mother Earth!
354
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:44,959
Lay down your thunderbolt
of oppression, tyrant.
355
00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:47,500
Behold my hostage.
356
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:50,291
Son?
357
00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:52,291
Uh, hi, Dad.
358
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:58,000
Hercules.
359
00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:59,500
Sorry, Father.
360
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,625
I got all the other
hostages out, though.
361
00:17:01,709 --> 00:17:03,500
That's good, son, that's good.
362
00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:07,041
- Where are you going?
- To release the Titans.
363
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:10,417
It's not worth losing
you over, my boy.
364
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:13,709
Ah, Zeus, I'm so glad you
see things in a reasonable light.
365
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:17,166
No, Father, wait! I
can't let him do this.
366
00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:21,959
My plan, though I hate to
admit it, seems to have failed.
367
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,083
Uh, do you suppose you
could, uh, smash these rocks?
368
00:17:25,166 --> 00:17:26,709
Ha ha! Now you're talking.
369
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:33,208
You will not escape.
370
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:35,000
Ah, says you.
371
00:17:36,917 --> 00:17:40,166
I'm beginning to appreciate
this acting heroic business.
372
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:41,542
Oh, no.
373
00:17:41,625 --> 00:17:43,518
But on the other hand, I
do hear very good things
374
00:17:43,542 --> 00:17:45,750
about running
away in terror. Aah!
375
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,959
If it's not too much trouble,
where are we going?
376
00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:52,709
The front gate is that way.
377
00:17:52,792 --> 00:17:56,959
Heh, I know. But we're
going to the library.
378
00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:58,208
Aah!
379
00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,166
Here. Fight them off.
380
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:04,625
Really now...
381
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,875
Let's discuss this
reasonably, say tomorrow?
382
00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:07,959
Ooh!
383
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:16,625
Adrenaline rush!
Or is it my bladder?
384
00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:18,375
Hey, not bad.
385
00:18:20,291 --> 00:18:21,291
Come on!
386
00:18:23,959 --> 00:18:25,875
Lovely soufflé. Olive, I think.
387
00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:37,208
- Yes!
- Great explosion!
388
00:18:37,291 --> 00:18:38,291
Ooh, good thinking, too.
389
00:18:38,375 --> 00:18:39,375
Uh-oh.
390
00:18:41,458 --> 00:18:44,041
We better hit the scrolls, fast.
391
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:49,417
Poseidon, reveal the Titans.
392
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,709
You heard me, Po-Po.
393
00:18:58,709 --> 00:18:59,834
Ammunition.
394
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,542
"Homer, Hacied, heroic's digest,
395
00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:05,709
how to win frays and
influence monsters."
396
00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:07,417
Hey, this is pretty cool stuff.
397
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:11,709
Ha! "The complete works
of Pindar unabridged."
398
00:19:11,792 --> 00:19:14,875
This baby will do some damage.
399
00:19:14,959 --> 00:19:17,000
Uh, that's not
what I had in mind.
400
00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:19,417
Oh, here we go, here
we go, now we're talking.
401
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,959
Ooh. What's that?
402
00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:23,917
"Social registry of Gods,
Titans, and other immortals.
403
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,125
Copyright Hyperion
scribes, all rights reserved."
404
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,250
This way!
405
00:19:35,458 --> 00:19:39,375
Uh, "Aeolus,
Amalthea... Antaeus!
406
00:19:39,458 --> 00:19:41,917
Half-titan, rocky son
of Gaia the Earth..."
407
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,750
Son of Gaia! That's it!
408
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:46,417
Whenever he touches the
Earth Gaia gives him strength.
409
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,291
My secret is out.
410
00:19:48,375 --> 00:19:49,834
I'm crushed.
411
00:19:49,959 --> 00:19:51,917
Not yet.
412
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000
But you will be.
413
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,125
Whoa!
414
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,291
Down, Pootls, down!
415
00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:07,709
No! Stop it, stop it right now!
416
00:20:07,792 --> 00:20:08,709
Put me down!
417
00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:12,083
I think not!
418
00:20:13,417 --> 00:20:14,625
Aah!
419
00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:21,333
Back off.
420
00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:23,041
Stinkin' Titans.
421
00:20:23,125 --> 00:20:26,375
Aah! Oh!
422
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:31,792
Antaeus. Ha. Guess your
plan went down the drain.
423
00:20:36,333 --> 00:20:37,709
Usurper!
424
00:20:37,792 --> 00:20:39,959
Poseidon, shut 'em up!
425
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:45,792
All right, all right.
426
00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:49,250
All Pootls in the
dog catcher's wagon.
427
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:53,500
And don't try this or any
other skullduggery again.
428
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:56,750
Bye! It certainly was a
treat having you in class.
429
00:20:56,834 --> 00:21:00,875
Have a great summer... in jail.
430
00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:03,041
Show stopper, baby!
431
00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:06,458
Hey, Pootls, next time
rehearse out of town.
432
00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:09,834
And then I, in
truly royal fashion,
433
00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:13,041
saved my fellow students
from certain doom.
434
00:21:13,125 --> 00:21:16,458
You? All you did was
royally rat out Hercules.
435
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,893
And if I hadn't, he
wouldn't have been there
436
00:21:17,917 --> 00:21:19,333
to rescue us, now would he?
437
00:21:19,458 --> 00:21:21,041
My soufflé?
438
00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:23,542
Uh, I'm sorry.
439
00:21:23,625 --> 00:21:24,542
It didn't make it.
440
00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:26,125
Oh.
441
00:21:27,792 --> 00:21:29,709
Uh, you wanted to see me?
442
00:21:29,792 --> 00:21:31,792
Ah, yes, Hercules.
Come in, come in.
443
00:21:31,875 --> 00:21:34,166
I've decided that our
old scientific method
444
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:36,458
of career guidance using ox guts
445
00:21:36,542 --> 00:21:38,625
was unsatisfactory,
particularly for the ox.
446
00:21:38,709 --> 00:21:39,834
Aah!
447
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:41,667
You have proven to me
448
00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:44,583
that there's always
room in the modern world
449
00:21:44,667 --> 00:21:47,625
for a reasoning
hero, such as yourself.
450
00:21:47,709 --> 00:21:51,417
So, perhaps you'd like
to form a heroics club,
451
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:53,041
extracurricular, of course?
452
00:21:53,125 --> 00:21:56,041
Aw, that's OK. I get plenty
of hero-training with Phil.
453
00:21:56,125 --> 00:21:58,875
But, um, I, uh, was thinking
454
00:21:58,959 --> 00:22:03,125
a hero should exercise
his brawn and his brain.
455
00:22:03,208 --> 00:22:05,583
So I, heh, I was wondering...
456
00:22:05,667 --> 00:22:09,208
could I work in the
library part-time?
457
00:22:09,291 --> 00:22:14,166
Deal. If you'll teach me some of
those totally radical spear tricks.
458
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,500
Ow!
32173
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