Original subtitles

♪ Who put the "glad" in gladiator? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Whose daring deeds are great theater? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Is he bold? ♪ - ♪ No one braver ♪

- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪ - ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪

- ♪ What a guy ♪ - ♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Ask his friends ♪ - ♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪

- ♪ Hercules ♪ - ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ No one's fool ♪

♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪

♪ He's in trainin' ♪

♪ Smart and shy ♪

♪ And the nicest guy ♪

♪ No complainin' ♪

♪ He was a no one, a zero, zero ♪

♪ He'll never quit till he's a hero ♪

♪ He's the most likely to succeed ♪

♪ From zero to hero ♪

♪ Herc is a hero ♪

♪ He'll be a hero ♪

Wait and see.

Hercules, please come quickly.

I am injured and need your help,

your loving Pop.

Pegasus!

Let's go!

Faster, Pegasus.

Pop! I'm...

Here.

Hello, son. Glad you could make it.

Help yourself to cocoa.

I have come to wreak vengeance upon the scum who injured you!

Truth is, I stepped in a gopher hole.

You said it was urgent!

I rushed over to wreak vengeance.

Well, it is urgent,

but what I need isn't exactly vengeance.

Sheep?

You want me to watch the sheep?

Someone has to tend the flock until I heal up.

I just hope that you can handle the responsibility.

Come on, Pop!

I'm a hero-in-training, remember?

Uh-huh.

And do you remember what happened

the last time you looked after the flock?

I swear I only looked away for a second.

Well, I-I've changed!

Hero rule #65 says... "A hero is responsible."

I'll watch your sheep, Pop,

like they've never been watched before.

Some hero.

The committee will consider Artemis' request

to designate the Caledonian boar endangered.

Now, what's next on the agenda, Hermes?

Well, today's supplicant

is a demigoddess and Underworld enchantress.

Deities, I give you... Hecate.

Huh? What the...

Heh, babe, the winged pooches are too nutty, babe.

But, uh, no minions. Policy, babe.

I respect that.

A policy is a policy.

Hello... darling!

Aphrodite, lovely as always.

Oh, Demeter, this spring is your freshest yet.

Ares, I love what you've done with Sparta.

So... Spartan.

Heh heh. You hear that, sis?

Oh, go polish your spear.

Oh, I'm not talking to you.

You're on my list.

Witch.

Mighty Zeus, Gods and Goddesses...

A magic pointer. Oy vey.

As you can see, the Underworld

is underperforming, underachieving,

bottom line, it's underwhelming.

Now, I don't want to point fingers but,

Listen, I gripe, I moan,

but hey, I run one tight Tartarus.

Never had a customer complain. Got it?

He's old news.

He's been doing things the same way

since time immemorial.

Simply put, I can do better.

Hecate, dear...

Queen of the night is a very responsible position.

Be a team player, huh?

Oh, I get it!

He's your brother, and I'm just a witch.

There's nothing wrong with being a good witch.

I am a great witch!

You understand, I call everyone babe, babe.

I don't care what Athena says.

Sparta rules.

No hard feelings?

Please!

What, huh, you gave it a shot, and hey,

You came up short.

Boom. Done. We'll do lunch.

Can't wait.

Me neither. Good.

Have your minions call my minions.

Thanks, all. You're the mightiest.

Toodle-oo. So long.

What can I tell you?

When you own your own market share,

you always gotta watch your back.

Is it a little drafty in here?

Fine, fine. Now, where were we?

Ah, yes. New business.

I say it's time to recognize Sparta

as the capital of the Greek world!

Athens has wisdom and reason.

What does Sparta have?

Battering rams and flamethrowers!

That's what!

Oh, I hate these meetings.

Not the most exciting job in the world, eh, Pegasus?

It's OK, old guy.

Come on, you can't help it if you're boring.

Whoa!

Nice shot.

Hecate!

What a surprise.

Hades is not presently in now.

What a shame.

Bad timing.

And timing is everything.

Well, as long as I've come all this way,

I'll just wait.

No, no! Not possible.

Nobody's allowed in this room when Hades is gone. Sorry.

But you're in here.

That doesn't seem proper.

A clear violation of protocol.

W-w-we were just doing a, uh,

a security check of the premises and, um,

but if you had been doing that, we wouldn't have gotten in.

Not his chair!

Ow!

As the flame within this vessel grows,

Hades' fire shall ebb and slow...

Is that a spell?

Until his godly powers dim,

and I can do away with him.

Uh-oh! Uh!

Athens? Ha ha!

Athens is a geek retreat for eggheads!

Oh, and we're supposed to just surrender...

Hey, backwoods, is it, Is it cold in here?

Do you feel a little draft-on-the-neck kind of thing?

What I wouldn't give for a fur coat, heh.

Nobody you know. Faux fur.

Seriously, did Zeus forget to pay the heating bill, or what?

Refresh my memory.

Exactly what purpose do you serve here?

Um... uh... We're Hades' go-to guys!

Well, consider yourselves... downsized and outsourced.

Excuse me?

You're fired.

- No, no, Spike, no! - No, Spike!

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, gross! Dead souls!

Dead souls! Dead souls!

Oh, get 'em off me!

Yuck!

Are there any on me?

Aah!

I got it!

Eww! Yuck!

We gotta tell Hades!

But it's really, really important.

Sorry, the "no minion" thing is absolute.

Yee-ouch!

Ow! Ow!

We gotta get rid of Hecate!

Now you're talking crazy.

That would take somebody really brave.

And strong.

And heroic.

And affordable.

- Ahh... - Ahh...

Surprise!

Remember us?

Hyah! Ha!

Wait! H-H-Hercules, the hero.

Friend of the downtrodden.

We come in peace.

Honest.

This better be good.

And you want me to break the crystal and get rid of Hecate?

- Uh-huh. - Yeah, please.

Look, even if I wanted to help you, which I don't,

I can't leave the sheep.

I'm responsible for them.

Who cares about some stupid sheep?

The future of the Underworld is even grimmer than usual!

I swore that the sheep would not leave my sight. Sorry.

Aaaah! Listen to us!

Hecate is worse than Hades!

The devil you know is a lot better than the devil you don't.

No problem. No problem. We'll be going now.

The sheep!

Get lost, pest!

Huh?

No!

Looking for someone?

Where are those sheep?

We'll never tell.

Yeah, unless you help us.

You'll never see your woolly wuss-sponsibility again!

What kind of twisted sicko threatens innocent sheep?

We learned from the master.

Hades would be so proud.

So, what's it gonna be?

All right.

But first you have to show me the sheep are safe.

And you swear you'll help us?

Sure... no problem.

Hero's honor?

Hero's honor.

Deal!

Uh, five, six, seven...

eight, nine, ten, uh...

All right. All present and accounted for.

That's it, hero boy. Happy reunion's over!

Time is of the essence!

Hyah! Let's go!

Ow! Ooh!

Ow! Ow!

Whoa. Hold it. I don't think so.

The fluffballs stay here!

I am responsible for these animals.

If they stay, I stay.

If I go, they go.

Fine. Whatever.

They're your problem. Just move it!

Ow!

Yeah! Step lively, Pokey! We're in a hurry!

By the time the Council of the Gods is over,

Hades' power will be drained

and I'll be sitting pretty.

Hmm...

Sit!

Up straight!

Better.

Now, you're probably all wondering

why I've gathered you together.

We know.

We know all.

You want to share your plans for Underworld domina...

Let's not spoil it for everyone.

OK?

Congratulations.

You are all getting in on the underground floor

of a new, improved Underworld.

Unlike a certain Lord of the Dead,

I don't care a whit about Mount Olympus.

My focus is on making this

the best Underworld it can be!

Our primary purpose,

increase new admissions.

Let's start with... everyone on Earth!

Hey, Panic... Undead tongues are wagging.

You guys really blew it.

Heh, heh. Yeah.

Real funny.

Hey, whoa, hey, hey, come on. Step back.

Hecate's not gonna like this.

Maybe you'd like to explain that to Hades.

Yeah, he should be back any minute.

Ooh, wait now. I don't want any trouble.

I just row the boat.

Well, Sparta's got a great new motto,

"Come for the discipline,

stay for the carnage."

Athens is the center of culture.

Yakety-yak.

Could we break for naptime? What do you think?

Oh, yeah?

My warriors can beat up your warriors!

Oh, yeah, pal?

Well, Athens rules, Sparta drools!

Too much talk.

Too loud. Oy.

Back off, pal! You're crowdin' me!

Outta my face, Pokey!

Oh, my gosh!

Hang on, big fella!

Guess he's taking a sheep-dip.

Oh, leave him!

You're here to help us, not the stupid sheep.

It's OK. I've got you.

Grab him!

Oh! Pyew!

Hey, these sheep are our responsibility, remember?

Wh-o-o-oa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

What are you looking at, Pokey?

Hey!

Ooh. Soft.

Ugh!

Aah!

Aaah!

Remember, I just row the boat.

Hurry, Pokey! You can do it!

You and that sweater shedder are becoming awfully chummy.

If anything happens to those sheep while I'm gone,

The deal is off.

Trust us.

Ooh!

Welcome to the Underworld.

Under new management.

I'll be happy to bring you in... permanently.

Shh! Shh!

Seven, eight, nine... Oh, someone's missing!

Pokey!

Pokey's asleep.

Psst! Wake up, woolly!

Rise and shine, sheepyhead.

- Oh, we gotta bring him in. - Not me, brother.

Come on. Get up!

Move it!

Oh, all right.

Whoa!

Aah!

Hecate, I must ask that you vacate the Underworld

and return to haunting the nether regions of night.

Such a polite young man. Get rid of him.

Thanks so much for coming. Bye now.

Aaah!

You are so special to me.

I love you like a brother, you big lug.

Uh... we are brothers, Hades.

Are you feeling all right?

I, I feel different. I do.

Not that I'm OK.

Po-po!

Oh, I love you like a brother, Ya big, slimy fish.

You know, is it just me,

or is the H-man getting mellower by the minute?

Um, Pain... I-I don't think Pokey's a he.

He's not?

Pokey's g-gonna be a mommy!

Aah! When?

Right now!

- Ho! I better go check that out! - Dig in!

I'll handle Mr. Manners, here.

Boil some water!

I don't know nothin' about birthin' no baby sheep!

Breathe in! Breathe in! Breathe out! Breathe out!

Focus! You're a calm lake! You're a calm lake!

Ho! What is this? Some kind of offering to Hecate?

Get your filthy paws off her!

Hoo-ah!

Wa-a-a-h!

Wah! Hyah!

Ooh! Wa-a-a-h!

Hey! Hold it! Ow! Ho! Hey!

Watch it! Oh! That was the, ow! Oh! Hey!

Hey, now, hey!

You've got a stick, man. It's just not fair.

Ow, oh, hey.

Come on, Pokey. You can do it!

Push! Push!

Cleansing breaths!

This one's for Pokey!

It's so... beautiful!

Aww! Ohh!

Awww!

Like mother, like baby.

Hades!

Welcome back... Your flamelessness?

Ah, don't mind me, boys.

Uh, I can see you're busy.

Hmm... Hecate's in your throne room, boss.

She sort of, um, took over the Underworld.

We told her you'd be really flamed off!

No, no, no, no.

Dominating a realm is a young god's game.

Boys, retire my number.

Whoa!

Get real.

You think you can waltz in here,

toss a few pebbles around, and go on home?

Think again, junior!

This is my Underworld, and welcome to it!

Aah!

Hey, good luck.

Hey, I've tried to waste the kid.

He's like a roach. He keeps coming back.

Hey. Flaming crystal. Nice.

Ha-a-a-des...

Whatever is the matter?

Is your pilot light out?

Yeah, you know, I,

I am feeling a bit... shvach.

But, I, you know, I don't like to complain.

We've got a situation here, old timer.

It's called the New Underworld Order!

Deal with it!

Whatever. Fair enough.

Bada-bing! Bada-boom!

Ladies, gentlemen...

Third-rate pretenders to the throne. Ha!

Hades... is back in the building!

Gotta go! You're welcome!

You were saying?

Hey, if you were in my position, you'd try the same thing.

And if you were in my position...

Well... I feel better.

Congratulations, son. Mother and child both look fine.

And my ankle's healed up

just in time for our vacation.

Vacation? Oh, no!

I've had enough sheep to last me,

don't worry, son. I made other arrangements.

Hi, everybody!

We have got such an exciting weekend planned!

Ohh!