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1
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♪ Who put the
"glad" in Gladiator? ♪
2
00:00:10,625 --> 00:00:11,959
♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,542
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:16,333
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,333
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,417
♪ No one braver ♪
7
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,750
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
8
00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:21,834
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
9
00:00:21,917 --> 00:00:23,917
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,750
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
11
00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:26,750
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:28,834
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:31,959
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:32,041 --> 00:00:33,625
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
15
00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:35,166
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
16
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,625
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
17
00:00:36,709 --> 00:00:37,792
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
18
00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:39,208
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
19
00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:40,750
♪ No complainin' ♪
20
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:41,959
♪ He was a no one ♪
21
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:43,583
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
22
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:44,792
♪ He's our hero ♪
23
00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:48,500
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
24
00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:49,583
♪ From zero to hero ♪
25
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,000
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
26
00:00:52,709 --> 00:00:57,917
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
27
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,667
Wait and see!
28
00:01:08,041 --> 00:01:09,375
Stay on your toes, kid.
29
00:01:09,458 --> 00:01:11,542
A dragon has a
wide turning radius.
30
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,500
Easy enough.
31
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,333
Blech, oh, man!
32
00:01:29,417 --> 00:01:32,250
Hero rule number 72:
33
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:34,625
Assess the situation.
34
00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:36,083
Situation assessed.
35
00:01:36,166 --> 00:01:39,083
I'm battling a dragon
that breathes vegetables.
36
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,750
Rookie, a tomato is a fruit.
37
00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:45,041
Where would you be without me?
38
00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:48,417
How is it possible
that this Demiclod
39
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,333
could defeat moi.
40
00:01:52,375 --> 00:01:54,458
Hey, we were watching that!
41
00:01:54,542 --> 00:01:55,667
Pardon me?
42
00:01:55,792 --> 00:01:59,083
Oh, uh, sorry, no,
uh... What is the deal?
43
00:01:59,166 --> 00:02:02,166
I mean, the kid can't
even tie his own sandals.
44
00:02:02,250 --> 00:02:04,417
Unless the goat-man
talks him through it.
45
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,709
The goat-man... Philoctetes...
46
00:02:07,792 --> 00:02:09,250
Trainer of heroes.
47
00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:11,041
He's showing Hercules the ropes.
48
00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:13,125
He's teaching him
the tricks of the trade,
49
00:02:13,208 --> 00:02:16,083
filling his head with all
those pithy hero rules.
50
00:02:16,166 --> 00:02:19,500
You're making
some big leaps here.
51
00:02:19,583 --> 00:02:21,500
And we're just not keeping up.
52
00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:23,041
Boys, boys,
53
00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:25,667
if we promote Phil
to the big leagues,
54
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:28,125
why, he'll dump the chump.
55
00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:31,500
I don't know. That old
goat is very sentimental.
56
00:02:31,583 --> 00:02:34,417
Yes, I know.
57
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:36,875
Phil's Achilles heel.
58
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:41,417
Welcome to the
Arcadia County fair.
59
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:45,458
Unfortunately, the
two-headed pig from Macedonia
60
00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:46,917
cancelled on us.
61
00:02:49,667 --> 00:02:52,875
However, we do
have a famous hero,
62
00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:54,875
live and in person.
63
00:02:57,750 --> 00:03:01,959
The one and only... Achilles!
64
00:03:05,583 --> 00:03:07,208
I know. It was short notice.
65
00:03:07,291 --> 00:03:11,375
That's right, folks,
here I am, Achilles, eh?
66
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,458
I wanted the two-headed pig.
67
00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:17,917
How about an autograph, chief?
68
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,166
OK.
69
00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:24,917
You could sign it,
"To my biggest fan..."
70
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,375
- Sure.
- "...From the two-headed pig."
71
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,709
Hey, crybaby, do
you know who I am?
72
00:03:31,792 --> 00:03:33,917
Um, yeah, you're Achilles,
73
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,083
the guy who used
to be a big shot hero
74
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,750
and was invincible
everywhere except your heel,
75
00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:41,875
and then you got nailed in the
heel and you became a big fat loser.
76
00:03:41,959 --> 00:03:45,500
Uh... Is "Two-headed"
hyphenated?
77
00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:52,542
So I'm not the guy I used to be?
78
00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:00,291
Huh? Eh?
79
00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:02,417
Oh, Achilles!
80
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,500
Can we have your autograph, huh?
81
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:13,542
Wow. Just like the
old days, huh, Achilles?
82
00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:24,166
Who are you? Hades, Lord of
the Dead. How you doing? Nice gut.
83
00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:25,792
Is it my time?
84
00:04:25,875 --> 00:04:28,917
No, no, no, you got
lots of time... Six years.
85
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,709
Anyway... ahem...
I am actually here
86
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:34,000
because I'm a huge, huge fan.
87
00:04:34,083 --> 00:04:35,125
Of me?
88
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,667
No, of the two-headed
pig, you Yutz.
89
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:40,250
Of course you!
You're a living legend.
90
00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:43,083
You were huge!
91
00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:44,250
Huge!
92
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:47,667
You're still pretty huge,
different context, mind you.
93
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,333
Anyway, look, Achilles, babe,
94
00:04:49,417 --> 00:04:51,583
you could have gone all the way.
95
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,333
But what happened?
You got benched.
96
00:04:54,417 --> 00:04:56,583
That tender tendon.
97
00:04:56,667 --> 00:04:59,250
Hey, everybody's
got a weak spot, huh?
98
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,542
An Achilles heel, if you will.
99
00:05:01,625 --> 00:05:05,709
Hey, look, pal, what happened
happened, OK? Can't change the past.
100
00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:07,709
Too true. Too true.
101
00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:12,208
But what about the
future, your future?
102
00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:14,000
What if you could
have it all over again,
103
00:05:14,083 --> 00:05:16,041
and this time, for keeps?
104
00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:19,500
But what about,
uh, oh, my problem?
105
00:05:19,583 --> 00:05:21,291
What problem?
106
00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,542
I am here for you.
107
00:05:27,625 --> 00:05:30,125
But I do need one
eensie-teensie,
108
00:05:30,208 --> 00:05:31,917
tiny, little, insignificant,
109
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,709
little nitcon of a favor.
110
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,792
Name it!
111
00:05:34,875 --> 00:05:36,709
That's my boy.
112
00:05:36,792 --> 00:05:42,083
Oh, Phil, I need these sandals.
113
00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:45,917
Kid, all you need is a good
old-fashioned workout sandal.
114
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,709
Brown? Everybody's
gonna think I'm a dweeb.
115
00:05:48,792 --> 00:05:50,959
Heroes don't worry
about their image.
116
00:05:51,041 --> 00:05:52,583
They worry about helping people.
117
00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:53,709
Yo, you!
118
00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:55,083
Do you have these in a 10?
119
00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:57,083
Those are the same
old slabs of leather
120
00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:58,667
you used to push off on me.
121
00:05:58,750 --> 00:06:01,417
Holy Toledo! It can't be!
122
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:04,583
Come here, Mr. Fur
Pants, come here.
123
00:06:04,667 --> 00:06:06,709
Kid, you know who this is?
124
00:06:06,792 --> 00:06:08,166
Uh, no.
125
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:12,166
Ah, this here's the greatest
hero of our time... Achilles.
126
00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:15,083
Achilles? The Achilles?
127
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:17,458
Today's your lucky day, junior.
128
00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:20,667
You just disappeared
after the heel incident.
129
00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:21,750
What happened?
130
00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:24,583
Forget about it. Nothin',
nothin'. That is the past, Philly.
131
00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:26,667
I focus on the future.
132
00:06:28,792 --> 00:06:31,458
Here you go, Mr. Memnon.
133
00:06:31,917 --> 00:06:33,375
Thanks, junior.
134
00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:34,875
Mmm!
135
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,458
Ow! That is good Joe.
136
00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:39,709
Mr. Memnon,
you're on in 50... ooh!
137
00:06:39,792 --> 00:06:40,667
Aah!
138
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:44,500
Oh, uh... What's my motivation?
139
00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:46,834
My face in your face.
140
00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:48,917
Ohh! Uhh!
141
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,583
Now, get up there, go a
few rounds with the big "A,"
142
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:52,750
and take a fall.
143
00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:56,417
And you're on in
five, four, three...
144
00:07:15,041 --> 00:07:16,500
What's going on?
145
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:27,208
Athens, Your streets
shall run red with... Line!
146
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:29,542
Blood. Blood.
147
00:07:30,291 --> 00:07:32,542
I'm ready, Phil. Just say when.
148
00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:34,041
Yeah, uh, sorry, little buddy,
149
00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:36,792
but I think this puppy's
out of your league.
150
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,709
Look, listen, and learn, rookie.
151
00:07:41,792 --> 00:07:45,333
Halt! Or I shall thrash thee!
152
00:07:45,417 --> 00:07:48,750
You, thrasheth me?
153
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:52,125
Ohh!
154
00:07:53,375 --> 00:07:54,959
And you are?
155
00:08:00,792 --> 00:08:05,041
So, big man, picking
on a helpless kid now.
156
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:07,583
Helpless?
157
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:21,917
Whoa! Ohh!
158
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:24,458
Hey!
159
00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:27,500
Rat!
160
00:08:27,583 --> 00:08:30,542
Achilles has still got it.
161
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,542
That wasn't so good, was it?
162
00:08:41,625 --> 00:08:44,291
Are you kidding?
Achilles was sensational.
163
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,333
I was talking about me.
164
00:08:47,417 --> 00:08:51,625
I give you Memnon,
master monster!
165
00:08:51,709 --> 00:08:54,291
Super job! You're...
you're the best.
166
00:08:54,375 --> 00:08:56,917
Too kind, thanks for
the gig. Let's do lunch.
167
00:08:57,542 --> 00:08:59,625
Hey, no problem. What
was up with this guy, huh?
168
00:08:59,709 --> 00:09:02,291
Was he stinking up
the joint enough? Jeez.
169
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,500
"Thrasheth"?
170
00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:07,417
Who... Who talketh like that?
171
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:12,166
Excellent!
172
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,166
Achilles! Achilles!
173
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,417
Should we headline
this a comeback?
174
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,542
Only if I could
get my old trainer.
175
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,208
Philoctetes to
come back with me.
176
00:09:21,291 --> 00:09:23,250
And what say you, sir?
177
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:25,917
Well, uh, it's
very flattering, uh,
178
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,333
Uh, well, you know, I
already have a trainee and all.
179
00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:30,583
You know, this is very sudden.
180
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:33,083
I wouldn't be what I
am today if not for this,
181
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:35,417
may I say, beautiful goat-man.
182
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,208
Jeez, kill.
183
00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:38,750
I'm blushing.
184
00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:41,750
I've always said this
guy here's a winner.
185
00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:45,333
Ah, you know, I guess I
can coach two heroes, right?
186
00:10:38,792 --> 00:10:40,041
Wow! Wow!
187
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,709
OK, boys, here's the scoop.
188
00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:12,792
Hercules is, like, basically
dangling at the end of his rope.
189
00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:15,792
Wait, I'm sorry. Let
me just visualize that.
190
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:16,917
Ahh!
191
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:22,041
OK, now let's
really burn him up.
192
00:11:25,041 --> 00:11:28,458
We got the Heroes
Illustrated vase shoot at 2:00,
193
00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:32,208
and then at 4:00, they're dedicating
another statue at Achilles park.
194
00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:34,667
Hey, there's a fire at Arcadia.
195
00:11:34,750 --> 00:11:36,083
All right, let's suit up!
196
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:43,000
Arcadia? Forget about it.
197
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:45,750
There's nothing out there
but farmers and sheep.
198
00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:48,250
And besides, I got
that statue thing.
199
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,667
What? Those... Those
people need our help.
200
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:52,083
Not to mention the sheep.
201
00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:55,959
Phil, we got a good
thing here. We're on top!
202
00:11:56,041 --> 00:11:59,542
If we chase every little
two drachmas calamity,
203
00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:02,250
ah, you know, people are
gonna say we're amateurs.
204
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:04,041
OK, you stay here and I'll go.
205
00:12:04,125 --> 00:12:06,667
We'll be back in
three days tops.
206
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,291
Whoa! If the kid wants to go,
207
00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:09,792
give him a merit badge.
208
00:12:09,875 --> 00:12:11,250
I need you here.
209
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:12,709
Phil, come on!
210
00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:15,542
Make a choice, coach.
Who's it gonna be?
211
00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:19,208
The second-stringer
or the superstar, huh?
212
00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:20,518
You've been waiting
for this all you life,
213
00:12:20,542 --> 00:12:24,333
the fame, the
fortune, the nymphs.
214
00:12:24,417 --> 00:12:27,834
You've got Phil all wrong.
215
00:12:27,917 --> 00:12:31,917
He's the one who taught me that
heroes don't care about that stuff.
216
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,959
Heroes help people.
217
00:12:35,041 --> 00:12:36,041
Come on, Phil.
218
00:12:38,709 --> 00:12:40,250
Kid, I...
219
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:42,709
Achilles and me, we got
a lot of history, you know.
220
00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:45,166
I'm finally getting a
taste of the big time.
221
00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:46,583
You understand, right?
222
00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:48,709
Yeah, sure.
223
00:12:49,709 --> 00:12:50,834
My mistake.
224
00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:54,291
I thought you actually
believed all that hero stuff
225
00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:55,583
you taught me.
226
00:13:02,375 --> 00:13:05,709
Hello! Break out the
ambrosia, my minions.
227
00:13:05,792 --> 00:13:09,875
I believe have just
dissolved the partnership.
228
00:13:09,959 --> 00:13:11,250
Fire!
229
00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:23,709
OK, hero rule number 72:
230
00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:26,041
Assess the situation.
231
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,000
Big, out-of-control fire.
232
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:34,792
Situation assessed. Hero
rule number 80, uh, something:
233
00:13:34,875 --> 00:13:36,000
Use what you've got.
234
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:39,083
Hey, a river!
235
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,792
We're saved!
236
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:54,917
Thank, Zeus.
237
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,041
Ah, ha ha! Looks
like I'm a hero.
238
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:03,875
I've got this stuff
down. I don't need Phil.
239
00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:07,333
Uh, anyone know
how to turn this off?
240
00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:12,083
Well, al-al-almost a hero.
241
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,625
A h-h-hero-in-training.
242
00:14:13,709 --> 00:14:17,750
Well, better... better...
Better go train so more now.
243
00:14:19,083 --> 00:14:21,041
Beautiful, baby, beautiful!
244
00:14:21,125 --> 00:14:22,291
Slice of Olympus.
245
00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:26,375
That's it! That's it, ladies!
246
00:14:26,458 --> 00:14:27,917
Pout! Pout!
247
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:32,333
Oh, the goat-man's
pouting more than the girls.
248
00:14:32,417 --> 00:14:34,250
Phil, what's with you?
249
00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:36,041
I thought a vase shoot
250
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,083
with the Heroes
Illustrated toga models
251
00:14:38,166 --> 00:14:40,166
was a lifelong dream?
252
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:42,208
It was, it was, it's just...
253
00:14:42,291 --> 00:14:44,291
You don't miss that kid, do you?
254
00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:47,810
No, I, uh, just left a few
things back on the island...
255
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,250
Toothbrush,
deodorant, flea powder.
256
00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:52,709
So go get 'em, coach.
257
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,417
Right. I'll be back.
258
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,917
Hey, I'll keep the girls
company until you get back,
259
00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:59,000
You know what I mean? Ha ha.
260
00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:05,083
Ah, there's nothing
else for me here,
261
00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:06,917
not anymore.
262
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,250
Oof! Ow!
263
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:22,542
Hey, kid.
264
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:26,000
Oh, hi. I... I was just
using your equipment
265
00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:27,208
for a little practice.
266
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:28,875
I hope you don't mind?
267
00:15:28,959 --> 00:15:30,458
Nah, no problem.
268
00:15:30,542 --> 00:15:32,792
But come, you got
yourself surrounded here,
269
00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:34,000
so watch your back.
270
00:15:34,083 --> 00:15:36,333
You're right. Thanks.
271
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,875
Well, uh, guess I'd
better get back to the villa.
272
00:15:39,959 --> 00:15:41,792
Yeah. OK, well, uh,
273
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,583
I guess I'll see you around.
274
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,041
Kid, I'm sorry!
275
00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:50,834
Phil, I can't do
this without you.
276
00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:54,166
Ah, you betcha you can't do
it without him, you little Yutz.
277
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:55,834
Ah, nice work, Achilles.
278
00:15:55,917 --> 00:16:00,333
Ah, I am on top of
the world... ohh! Uhh!
279
00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:03,041
Reverse that. You know, I
thought you might like to take a look
280
00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:04,792
at a little something
I whipped up.
281
00:16:04,875 --> 00:16:07,875
Tartarus vision...
"TV" for short.
282
00:16:07,959 --> 00:16:10,959
Oh, uh, hey, uh, look at that.
283
00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:13,583
Phil and... and the kid
are back together, huh?
284
00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:16,375
Yeah, and you're back to
opening for the two-headed pig.
285
00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:18,083
Oh, no! Hey...
hey, come on, man!
286
00:16:18,166 --> 00:16:19,500
Give me another chance, huh?
287
00:16:19,583 --> 00:16:21,643
Hey... hey, did anyone ever
tell you how great you look?
288
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:24,041
Come on, let me be
a hero again, please?
289
00:16:24,125 --> 00:16:26,125
You are not a hero!
290
00:16:31,542 --> 00:16:34,000
Wait!
291
00:16:34,542 --> 00:16:36,625
All right, so the
heel flamed out.
292
00:16:36,709 --> 00:16:39,125
The basic idea is still good.
293
00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:43,041
What to do about my
Herc/Phil conundrum?
294
00:16:43,125 --> 00:16:45,834
Hades, remember me? Hey,
buddy, I'm your go-to guy.
295
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,542
Please, please,
please, please, please?
296
00:16:47,625 --> 00:16:50,166
OK, everybody needs their break.
297
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:51,458
This is yours.
298
00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,458
There's the kid and the Satyr.
299
00:16:54,542 --> 00:16:57,792
I need to see, minimally,
mind you, one of them dead.
300
00:16:57,875 --> 00:16:59,166
Anything you say, big daddy.
301
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:00,291
Uh, which one?
302
00:17:00,375 --> 00:17:01,542
Hey, monster's choice.
303
00:17:01,625 --> 00:17:02,917
Surprise me.
304
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,166
There you go!
Yeah, yeah, nice jab.
305
00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:12,500
Dropped your guard!
306
00:17:12,959 --> 00:17:15,041
Good workout, kid.
307
00:17:15,583 --> 00:17:19,125
Uh... Phil, thanks
for sticking with me,
308
00:17:19,250 --> 00:17:21,083
Even if I am a second-stringer.
309
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:24,875
Kid, you may not have the villa
or the endorsement deals or...
310
00:17:26,375 --> 00:17:27,792
The toga models...
311
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:29,375
I was going somewhere with that.
312
00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:32,417
But that's not what
being a hero is all about?
313
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,726
Right, right.
Right, right, right.
314
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:36,166
Saving people,
fighting monsters...
315
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:45,250
OK, ready for some
on-the-job training?
316
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,333
Protect the noodle!
317
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:51,917
Huh? Aah!
318
00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,583
Nice! Now, watch your left!
319
00:17:58,542 --> 00:17:59,834
Ow!
320
00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:03,083
Yeah, yeah! All right!
321
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,250
Come on, clock him!
322
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:08,125
Yes! Yeah, now,
that's a good hit.
323
00:18:08,208 --> 00:18:09,368
Give me some of that popcorn.
324
00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:14,208
What, no hammy lines?
325
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:17,208
Grrr! I'm not acting this time.
326
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:19,750
Acting?
327
00:18:19,834 --> 00:18:22,250
Cut the chatter! Concentrate!
328
00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:23,834
Yeah!
329
00:18:23,917 --> 00:18:26,667
Hades wanted me to
make Achilles look good,
330
00:18:26,750 --> 00:18:29,166
but when Achilles
couldn't split you two up,
331
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,417
Hades sent me in to kill you,
332
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,208
or the goat-guy. Doesn't matter.
333
00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:34,917
Why do they do that?
334
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:38,291
They got to spill every
little detail of the scheme?
335
00:18:38,375 --> 00:18:39,375
Let me get this straight.
336
00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:41,709
Achilles was working for Hades?
337
00:18:41,792 --> 00:18:45,291
Whoa, you didn't think that loser could
beat me without Hades help, did you?
338
00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:48,333
That is rich.
339
00:18:48,417 --> 00:18:49,750
They've verbal diarrhea.
340
00:18:49,834 --> 00:18:52,333
Oh, he was working for Hades?
341
00:18:53,959 --> 00:18:56,709
Forget about Achilles,
kid! Concentrate!
342
00:19:03,417 --> 00:19:05,333
Hey, Phil, we did it!
343
00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:08,041
You and me together,
we beat this thing!
344
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:11,709
Yeah, yeah, great, kid. Just
make sure and keep your guard up.
345
00:19:11,792 --> 00:19:14,709
Consider my guard up... whoa!
346
00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:17,125
Oh, no! Herc?
347
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:20,792
Oh, yes! My man!
348
00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:23,041
You da man! Ooh!
349
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:24,542
Go for the kill!
350
00:19:24,625 --> 00:19:26,125
Wake up! Wake up!
351
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,542
Or you ain't gonna have
the chance to wake up again.
352
00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:31,125
The hero or the hero trainer?
353
00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:32,583
How about a twofer?
354
00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:35,959
Oh, man! And I thought
your scripted dialog stunk.
355
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,959
Excuse me, but I thought
you got fired from this project?
356
00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:41,625
Yeah, well, consider
me a free agent.
357
00:19:43,875 --> 00:19:47,000
Whoa, Achilles, you really let
yourself go in the past few hours.
358
00:19:47,083 --> 00:19:48,542
Get that kid out of here, Phil.
359
00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:51,417
I don't know if I can keep that
monster down much longer.
360
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:53,458
But that thing
will pulverize you.
361
00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:57,875
All my life I wanted to be a
hero for all the wrong reasons.
362
00:19:57,959 --> 00:20:01,208
I didn't get it.
This kid, he gets it.
363
00:20:01,291 --> 00:20:03,041
Let me do this, Phil.
364
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:05,375
Let me go out a true hero.
365
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,542
A coach doesn't
quit on his players.
366
00:20:10,625 --> 00:20:14,291
Now, get in there. And
remember hero rule number 72:
367
00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:16,291
Assess the situation.
368
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:19,667
And watch your heel!
369
00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:23,875
Ohh! All right, Mr. Big stuff,
370
00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:25,709
You want some of this?
371
00:20:27,291 --> 00:20:30,834
Keep your head up! Watch
your left! No, your other left!
372
00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:32,875
Am I still fighting?
373
00:20:32,959 --> 00:20:34,917
No, but he is.
374
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,917
Is that Achilles? Oh,
how long have I been out?
375
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,417
Thanks, Achilles.
376
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,750
Now I can get Hades to
pay me for killing three guys.
377
00:20:53,834 --> 00:20:57,542
Achilles, hero rule number
81: Use what you got.
378
00:20:57,625 --> 00:20:59,458
Use your gut?
379
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:02,291
Mama.
380
00:21:02,917 --> 00:21:04,166
Whatever works.
381
00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:05,959
Whoa!
382
00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:07,458
I got ya!
383
00:21:07,542 --> 00:21:09,542
Thanks, Hercules. Nice hands.
384
00:21:10,667 --> 00:21:12,208
I just... I hate this!
385
00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:13,351
This is just... it's too much.
386
00:21:13,375 --> 00:21:14,810
I got... I wanna
rip their heads out.
387
00:21:14,834 --> 00:21:17,333
I gotta just blast something.
388
00:21:17,417 --> 00:21:20,250
Pain, panic, could you
come here a minute?
389
00:21:24,208 --> 00:21:26,291
Get over here! Ha ha ha
390
00:21:26,375 --> 00:21:28,417
I love these two
guys. Come here.
391
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:29,875
Oh, what a team you two make.
392
00:21:29,959 --> 00:21:31,083
Bing, bang, boom!
393
00:21:31,166 --> 00:21:33,291
Nothing is gonna stop
us from the big time.
394
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:36,458
Uh, to tell you the truth,
Phil, I think I'm gonna pass.
395
00:21:36,542 --> 00:21:40,083
You're gonna pass? Huh, what are
you talking about, you're gonna pass?
396
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,000
Come on, I had my shot.
397
00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:43,917
Now it's someone else's turn.
398
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,625
Besides, let's face
it. Hitting the big time
399
00:21:46,709 --> 00:21:48,792
is not what being
a hero's about.
400
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:49,959
Is he kidding me?
401
00:21:50,041 --> 00:21:51,417
I don't think so, Phil.
402
00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:53,500
Guess I'll head Arcadia way.
403
00:21:53,583 --> 00:21:55,750
I hear there's some
flood victims there
404
00:21:55,834 --> 00:21:58,000
who just might need a hero.
405
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,750
Yeah, yeah, yeah, real...
real shame about that...
406
00:22:00,834 --> 00:22:02,917
That, uh, that flood thing.
407
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,250
Take care of that heel!
408
00:22:06,041 --> 00:22:07,834
Take care of that kid, huh?
28686
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