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♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
2
00:00:10,583 --> 00:00:11,917
♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,375
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,458 --> 00:00:16,291
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,375 --> 00:00:17,375
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,458 --> 00:00:18,375
♪ No one braver ♪
7
00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:19,709
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
8
00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:21,792
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
9
00:00:21,875 --> 00:00:23,875
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:25,709
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
11
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:26,709
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,792 --> 00:00:29,125
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:29,208 --> 00:00:31,917
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,583
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
15
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,125
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
16
00:00:35,208 --> 00:00:36,583
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
17
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:37,750
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
18
00:00:37,834 --> 00:00:39,166
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
19
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:40,667
♪ No complainin' ♪
20
00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:41,750
♪ He was a no one ♪
21
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,542
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
22
00:00:43,625 --> 00:00:44,750
♪ He's our hero ♪
23
00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:48,291
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
24
00:00:48,375 --> 00:00:49,375
♪ From zero to hero ♪
25
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,709
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
26
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:57,458
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
27
00:00:57,542 --> 00:00:59,250
Wait and see!
28
00:01:06,917 --> 00:01:09,208
In the ancient Greece
of myth and legend,
29
00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:12,583
there were perhaps no
figures so shrouded in mystery
30
00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:13,667
as the Fates,
31
00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:16,333
also known as the
Three Dread Sisters,
32
00:01:16,417 --> 00:01:19,417
Clotho, spinner of
a thread of destiny.
33
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:22,667
Lachesis, who measures
out fortune's fiber,
34
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,709
and perhaps the
most feared of all,
35
00:01:24,917 --> 00:01:29,041
Atropos, who holds the
shears that seal a soul's doom
36
00:01:29,125 --> 00:01:31,625
with but one snip.
37
00:01:31,709 --> 00:01:32,959
With these magical threads,
38
00:01:33,041 --> 00:01:35,542
the Fates weave the
very tapestry of life,
39
00:01:35,625 --> 00:01:39,041
humankind's destiny was
quite literally in the twisted hands
40
00:01:39,125 --> 00:01:41,375
of these three weird sisters.
41
00:01:41,792 --> 00:01:44,000
Who are you calling weird?
42
00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:45,375
Oh, sorry.
43
00:01:45,458 --> 00:01:47,750
Hello, ladies, I'm the narrator.
44
00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:50,041
We know.
45
00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:51,750
Ahem... pardon?
46
00:01:52,667 --> 00:01:55,709
We know everything.
47
00:01:55,792 --> 00:01:58,709
Yeah, well, actually,
knowing everything is my job.
48
00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:00,542
I'm the narrator!
49
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:01,875
I'm omniscient.
50
00:02:01,959 --> 00:02:04,041
Oh, do be quiet, Bob.
51
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,834
How did you know my name?
52
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:09,875
We told you... We
know everything.
53
00:02:09,959 --> 00:02:11,083
Then tell me,
54
00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:14,542
Have you seen five
charming, attractive ladies?
55
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,542
The muses?
56
00:02:16,625 --> 00:02:20,166
Yes, traditionally I open
the program with them.
57
00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:22,667
We trade some good-natured
banter, sometimes they sing...
58
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,250
Not today.
59
00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:27,083
You're stuck with us... Bob.
60
00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:29,625
You're not, heh heh, going
to... going to sing, are you?
61
00:02:29,709 --> 00:02:32,041
No, but we have prepared a poem.
62
00:02:34,750 --> 00:02:38,709
Watch us weave
the tapestry of fate.
63
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:42,709
With magic thread,
reality we create.
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00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:47,542
One wrong stitch
might be disastrous.
65
00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:52,000
Just ask Hercules
and his friend Icarus.
66
00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:53,959
I cannot believe it!
67
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,434
They're already
putting up decorations
68
00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:57,458
for the great Dionysia festival.
69
00:02:57,542 --> 00:02:59,667
Yeah, talk about
rushing the season.
70
00:02:59,792 --> 00:03:01,709
We haven't even had
the feast of Apollo yet.
71
00:03:01,792 --> 00:03:03,500
Ok, I'm gonna go shop now,
72
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:05,709
so see you guys later... or not.
73
00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:07,458
Oh, don't be silly, Cassandra.
74
00:03:07,542 --> 00:03:10,125
I'm here to offer
my fashion savvy.
75
00:03:10,208 --> 00:03:13,083
I shall stick to you like glue.
76
00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:16,041
Oh, check out the
super-cool poster!
77
00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:17,500
Orpheus!
78
00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:19,667
Is coming to town?
79
00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:21,709
This shall be the defining event
80
00:03:21,792 --> 00:03:23,750
of our generation.
81
00:03:23,834 --> 00:03:25,041
Whoo-hoo!
82
00:03:27,959 --> 00:03:30,458
Yeah, uh, uh... whoops!
83
00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:31,542
Sorry.
84
00:03:31,625 --> 00:03:34,083
Tickets for that concert
are going to sell out instantly.
85
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:36,583
Well, then, let's rock!
86
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,333
And roll!
87
00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:41,875
Whoo! Whoo-hoo!
88
00:03:41,959 --> 00:03:45,375
Faster, faster! Faster! Faster!
89
00:03:56,250 --> 00:03:57,291
Oh, sorry.
90
00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:00,959
Ohh!
91
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,417
Just in time.
92
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:07,000
Two tickets for the Orpheus
Never Look Back concert, yes!
93
00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:09,667
Sorry, just sold
the last two to him.
94
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,500
Concert event of the millennium.
95
00:04:12,583 --> 00:04:15,166
Sold out to me!
96
00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:17,458
Oh, that's ok.
97
00:04:17,542 --> 00:04:20,125
There will be other concerts.
98
00:04:21,375 --> 00:04:24,000
I can't go on living the lie!
99
00:04:24,083 --> 00:04:27,000
There'll never be another
concert like this one.
100
00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,917
Ever! The dream is shattered!
101
00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:32,685
Hey, I ain't cleanin' that.
102
00:04:32,709 --> 00:04:34,917
I'm a hero trainer,
not your janitor.
103
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:39,000
Please, we prefer the term
custodial arts practitioner.
104
00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:40,625
I'm a junior scrub monkey.
105
00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:41,542
Sorry, Phil.
106
00:04:41,625 --> 00:04:43,375
It's just we've been
looking forward
107
00:04:43,458 --> 00:04:44,959
to this concert all year.
108
00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:47,125
Duh, your daddy is
the king of the gods.
109
00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:48,792
Catch my drift?
110
00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:54,166
Oh, yes. He's the
goat man with the plan.
111
00:04:54,917 --> 00:04:56,667
So, Father,
maybe a little, uh...
112
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,917
divine intervention, huh?
113
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,542
I can't help you, son.
114
00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:03,333
Orpheus is one hot ticket.
115
00:05:03,417 --> 00:05:05,709
Fabulous. You know,
I-I caught a warm up gig
116
00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:07,250
at a small club in Corinth.
117
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:08,583
All hits, no filler.
118
00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:09,917
You know me, son.
119
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,959
I'm always willing to lend
you the hand of a god,
120
00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:17,000
but frivolous interference
in mortal affairs
121
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,667
tends to come back and
bite me in the backside.
122
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:22,041
- I understand.
- You're tough, but fair.
123
00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:23,959
I'm sorry, boys.
124
00:05:24,041 --> 00:05:27,667
Guess the fates were
against you on this one.
125
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,375
Game over.
126
00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:31,750
Even my dad couldn't help us.
127
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:34,000
Ooh, oh, oh, oh! Herc!
128
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:36,208
He did help!
129
00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:38,709
"I guess the fates
are against you."
130
00:05:38,792 --> 00:05:42,000
Huh? Huh? The fates! Get it?
131
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:43,417
The fates, huh?
132
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,875
Yeah, the fates can do anything.
133
00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:50,083
I see you two on the brink of
one of your buddy adventures,
134
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:53,000
peppered with hijinks
and fraught with disaster.
135
00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:55,667
Or tell me something
I don't know.
136
00:05:56,375 --> 00:05:58,291
It's like Orpheus is
even worth it anymore.
137
00:05:58,375 --> 00:06:01,000
He's way too slick
since he went polyphonic.
138
00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:07,625
Gee, uh, I don't
know about this.
139
00:06:07,709 --> 00:06:10,375
Oh, relax. The worst
they could say is no.
140
00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:11,875
NEVER!
141
00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:13,458
Is that worse than a no,
142
00:06:13,542 --> 00:06:14,792
'cause I'm not sure.
143
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,375
What you ask would require
144
00:06:17,458 --> 00:06:21,250
reweaving the tapestry of fate.
145
00:06:21,333 --> 00:06:24,625
And the tapestry must
never be rewoven.
146
00:06:24,709 --> 00:06:28,333
Even for a handsome, strapping,
147
00:06:28,417 --> 00:06:31,709
smooth-skinned son of Zeus.
148
00:06:32,875 --> 00:06:34,458
Eyew!
149
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:36,667
Oh, I-I-I mean, uh,
150
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,375
I guess we'll be on our way now.
151
00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:42,250
Ooh, I think the short
one's got the eye for you.
152
00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:45,500
I've got an idea. You
just keep 'em talking.
153
00:06:45,583 --> 00:06:46,667
Icarus.
154
00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,250
I am Arachnae,
155
00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:58,750
guardian of the
tapestry of fate.
156
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,208
Hello? Hello!
157
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:05,458
Ugh, no one is ever stupid
enough to sneak in here!
158
00:07:05,542 --> 00:07:08,291
Oh, oh, my mom.
159
00:07:08,375 --> 00:07:10,000
"Oh, yes, be a
guardian," she said.
160
00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:11,959
"See the world,
eat exotic people."
161
00:07:12,041 --> 00:07:14,500
Thanks, mom. Great idea.
162
00:07:14,583 --> 00:07:16,917
Wow!
163
00:07:19,542 --> 00:07:22,083
Ooh, the tapestry chamber.
164
00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:27,125
Ooh. Aah. Hey, aah!
165
00:07:27,208 --> 00:07:28,542
Ooh.
166
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:33,000
And stitch two, pearl
three, drop one stitch,
167
00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:35,458
two, pearl three, drop
one. Ooh, that looks good.
168
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:39,583
Ah, ah, ah, oh, stitch
two, three, drop one.
169
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:42,125
Oh, so, then I said, duh,
170
00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:43,768
why do you think
they call them furies?
171
00:07:44,667 --> 00:07:50,500
Oh, good looks and
a sense of humor, too.
172
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,208
Aah.
173
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:55,291
Yummy.
174
00:07:56,583 --> 00:07:57,792
What was that?
175
00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:02,667
Well, aren't you
quite the faties' man?
176
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,875
Come around again, son of Zeus.
177
00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:12,083
I'll be keeping an
eye out for you.
178
00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:15,583
Icarus, did you...
179
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:16,810
Reweave the tapestry of fate?
180
00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:18,166
Affirmative, good buddy.
181
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,083
Oh, no! What were you thinking?
182
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,667
Oh, Herc, in the
words of the great one...
183
00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:24,750
Never look back, baby!
184
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,625
I don't know. This
doesn't feel right.
185
00:08:27,709 --> 00:08:30,625
Focus, Herc, we're
going to the concert.
186
00:08:30,709 --> 00:08:32,625
Everything is gonna
be hunky and dory.
187
00:08:32,709 --> 00:08:35,333
Am I looking at my
little icky wicky poo?
188
00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:36,500
Yes, I am.
189
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,834
Hey, honey muffin!
190
00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:44,458
Ick, did you tangle any threads
191
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,959
when you were
reweaving the tapestry?
192
00:08:47,041 --> 00:08:48,417
Ha, you don't
know the half of it.
193
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,625
I have never seen such a
knotted up mess. Why do you ask?
194
00:08:51,709 --> 00:08:55,709
Why? Doesn't Cassandra
seem a little different to you?
195
00:08:55,792 --> 00:08:58,208
Now that you mention it...
196
00:08:58,291 --> 00:09:00,542
I do detect a fragrant hint...
197
00:09:00,625 --> 00:09:02,208
Not the perfume, something else!
198
00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:05,041
Something glaringly else!
199
00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:07,500
Oh, I am so excited to
be going to the concert
200
00:09:07,583 --> 00:09:10,166
with my schnoogy-schnoogy
and my bestest best friend.
201
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,750
Uh, you mean Herc?
202
00:09:11,834 --> 00:09:13,750
No, helen!
203
00:09:13,834 --> 00:09:14,834
Hi!
204
00:09:14,959 --> 00:09:18,375
Actually, Cassie and I want
to talk to you about Jerkules.
205
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,625
It's hurting your image,
hanging around that loser.
206
00:09:20,709 --> 00:09:22,625
You know what you must do.
207
00:09:22,709 --> 00:09:27,333
Oh, what a tangled web we wove.
208
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,750
Ah, we should
have brought a torch.
209
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:32,792
Sorry, I forgot how
dark it is in here.
210
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:34,792
Shh. Try to keep it down.
211
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:36,750
- Unh.
- Ahh.
212
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:39,041
Sorry. Sorry. Forgot about
that low ceiling back there.
213
00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,166
Anything else you forgot?
214
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,750
No, that's it.
215
00:09:41,834 --> 00:09:44,041
Tapestry chamber should
be right around here.
216
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,083
I am Arachnae,
217
00:09:48,166 --> 00:09:50,625
guardian of the
tapestry of fate.
218
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:53,417
Unh.
219
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:54,959
Right, sorry, sorry.
220
00:09:55,041 --> 00:09:57,166
Forgot about the
giant spider lady.
221
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,667
Aah!
222
00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:03,625
Yeah, this is the
way my day's going.
223
00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:07,333
Just when I decide to take my lunch
break, somebody wants to show up.
224
00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:12,083
Hang on a second.
225
00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:14,333
Maybe I can make this work.
226
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,333
Icarus!
227
00:10:20,417 --> 00:10:22,917
Help!
228
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:27,542
Oh, yeah! Incoming!
229
00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:33,375
Another ding. Botta-bing.
230
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:36,375
Thrills. I'm absolutely
thrilled over here.
231
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:38,000
Ahh. Who can I kick around?
232
00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:39,250
Yo, imps.
233
00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:44,625
Actually, uh, we prefer to be
called "assistant agents of darkness."
234
00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:46,792
Looks better on the
résumé, you know.
235
00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,750
Whatever.
236
00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,959
We'll talk about your
job descriptions later.
237
00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:52,917
Right now, just take
care of the new arrival.
238
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,125
Yes, sir!
239
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:56,750
If, uh, if your
afternoon's open,
240
00:10:56,834 --> 00:10:59,750
It'd be great if you could
meet the new being.
241
00:10:59,834 --> 00:11:01,709
The personal touch
goes a long way
242
00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:05,709
to getting their eternal
doom off to the right start.
243
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,500
Whoo! Did we,
like, not pay the bill?
244
00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:09,917
Whoa!
245
00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:14,959
That soul left! It left!
246
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,792
Souls do not leave
the underworld.
247
00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:21,792
And who has the
code for this alarm?
248
00:11:21,875 --> 00:11:24,625
Unh. Aah! I think it's your
mother's maiden name.
249
00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:26,750
Oh, I did it!
250
00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:28,667
Icarus, you're alive.
251
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:29,750
What, no tickets?
252
00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:31,542
I say we quit while we're ahead
253
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:33,917
and leave the tapestry
weaving to the Fates.
254
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,875
Well, come on, Herc!
255
00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:38,792
I mean, the-the
concert. Yes, Orpheus,
256
00:11:38,875 --> 00:11:40,500
Ooh, ooh, the
Orphettes. Huh? Huh?
257
00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:41,417
No!
258
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,041
Tapestry weaving?
259
00:11:43,125 --> 00:11:46,083
Oh, my nephew.
260
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:48,875
My genius little nephew.
261
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,667
Why didn't I think
of this eons ago?
262
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:51,750
Knitting needles.
263
00:11:53,291 --> 00:11:57,542
And two, pearl
two, one, stitch two.
264
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:06,375
Where am I?
265
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:08,166
I'm a god!
266
00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:10,375
Wait, did I pearl
one, drop three?
267
00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,083
Shh. Quiet, son.
268
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,875
Your father is coming.
269
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,000
The king of the gods!
270
00:12:17,083 --> 00:12:19,291
The ruler of Olympus!
271
00:12:19,375 --> 00:12:20,625
Hades!
272
00:12:20,709 --> 00:12:22,500
Hiya... son.
273
00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:24,709
Better close that mouth, son,
274
00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:27,625
before a harpy
flies into it. Ha ha!
275
00:12:27,709 --> 00:12:29,709
Oh, darling.
276
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,458
You're the best.
277
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,208
Hmm. Botta-bing.
278
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,125
Hey, you like the new do?
279
00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:36,808
I just jump in the
shower and away I go.
280
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:39,000
Couldn't do that with
the old one, could I? Ha!
281
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:41,166
Wait! What's going
on? Where's Zeus?
282
00:12:41,250 --> 00:12:44,959
Zeus? Zeus? What is
that, a candy or something?
283
00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:46,375
The real king of Olympus?
284
00:12:46,458 --> 00:12:47,898
Now, now, I've
always been the king.
285
00:12:47,959 --> 00:12:49,291
Thank you. Yeah, yeah.
286
00:12:49,375 --> 00:12:50,393
Hades has left the building.
287
00:12:50,417 --> 00:12:54,000
Hey, by the way, that
tapestry trick, nice.
288
00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:56,250
Oh, the tapestry!
289
00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:03,000
Ah, great.
290
00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:04,417
It's gone!
291
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:05,583
Well, hello.
292
00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:08,500
Mind if I... drop in for a bite?
293
00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:11,959
Aah!
294
00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:17,000
That hurts.
295
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,625
Ha ha, yeah. So typical.
296
00:13:24,709 --> 00:13:28,000
I meet a nice guy. I try to eat
him, and he turns out to be a god.
297
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,667
Oh, yeah.
298
00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:32,834
What happened to the tapestry?
299
00:13:32,917 --> 00:13:34,709
Tapestry? No clue.
300
00:13:34,792 --> 00:13:37,959
Ohh. The Fate's tapestry.
It was here earlier.
301
00:13:38,041 --> 00:13:41,667
No, the Fates and their tapestry
302
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:44,500
have always been
prisoners of the underworld.
303
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:47,458
You are a god. You
should know this.
304
00:13:47,542 --> 00:13:49,041
But I thought you
were its guardian.
305
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,709
Oh, I wish.
306
00:13:50,792 --> 00:13:53,333
Oh, I'd love to be a guardian.
307
00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:56,792
See the world.
Eat exotic people.
308
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:59,000
So you're just a... Spider lady?
309
00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:02,208
I prefer to be called a
freelance web designer.
310
00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:04,333
Web designer. Thank you so much.
311
00:14:04,417 --> 00:14:05,976
Uh, I'm sorry, I've
got to go get the...
312
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,000
Huh?
313
00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:11,834
Oh, mighty Hercules,
hear my call.
314
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:14,041
Phil, is that you?
315
00:14:14,125 --> 00:14:16,917
The exalted one answers.
316
00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:19,208
Phil?
317
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,166
Boy, am I glad to see you.
318
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:22,959
I'm in... I'm in a real mess.
319
00:14:23,041 --> 00:14:25,709
Hey, if you got a mess,
I'm your goat man.
320
00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:27,875
You're a janit...
321
00:14:27,959 --> 00:14:30,166
Er, custodial arts practitioner?
322
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:33,000
I prefer to be called
a scrub monkey.
323
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:34,792
Oh, this is making my head hurt.
324
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:36,750
Hey, Herc!
325
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,959
Your shrine smells lemony fresh.
326
00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:40,166
Icarus!
327
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:42,000
Yes, oh mighty Hercules.
328
00:14:42,083 --> 00:14:43,125
This olive loaf here
329
00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:45,041
claims he's your friend.
330
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:48,417
So, Mr. Quit-while-we're-ahead.
331
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:51,417
Oh, Herc, you sly dog.
332
00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:55,000
Whoo! Who cares
about concert tickets,
333
00:14:55,083 --> 00:14:57,291
when you can just be a god, huh?
334
00:14:57,375 --> 00:14:59,208
Icarus, I-I didn't
do any of this.
335
00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:01,583
Oh, don't be modest.
You done great for yourself.
336
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:04,333
Oh, and thank you
for flight school...
337
00:15:04,458 --> 00:15:05,375
Nice touch.
338
00:15:05,458 --> 00:15:07,625
Whoa. Flight school?
What flight school?
339
00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:10,208
It's nice to be finally
recognized for my
340
00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:11,792
aerodynamic genius.
341
00:15:11,875 --> 00:15:13,500
All polished up for you, sir.
342
00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:18,542
What are we gonna
fly close to today?
343
00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:20,417
Um... the ocean.
344
00:15:20,542 --> 00:15:22,834
All this week, it's the ocean.
345
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,250
Shoo! Shoo! Get outta here!
346
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:28,792
Icarus, we need to talk.
347
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:31,000
Wow! Hades, huh?
348
00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:32,125
Phew!
349
00:15:32,208 --> 00:15:36,041
So, uh, your being a
god and my being popular
350
00:15:36,125 --> 00:15:38,959
and Phil being a janitor... Yo!
351
00:15:39,041 --> 00:15:41,875
All just threads that got
tangled along the way.
352
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,625
Oh, well, fate happens.
353
00:15:44,750 --> 00:15:45,810
Well, enjoy it
while you still can,
354
00:15:45,834 --> 00:15:48,000
'cause I'm going to the
underworld to untangle it.
355
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,709
Tread with care,
oh, mighty Hercules.
356
00:15:52,792 --> 00:15:54,125
I hear that River Styx
357
00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:56,000
stains like nobody's business.
358
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:08,166
Well, if it isn't the
strapping young Hercules.
359
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:09,667
Right on schedule.
360
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:12,041
Mediterranean
Standard Fate Time.
361
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:16,709
Oy, no, I'm here
to fix the tapestry.
362
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:17,834
We know!
363
00:16:19,709 --> 00:16:21,959
But beware, young hero,
364
00:16:22,041 --> 00:16:24,583
for you will learn...
365
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:28,083
That fate has
taken an ugly turn.
366
00:16:28,208 --> 00:16:31,166
By now, we're sure
you can deduce...
367
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,959
The tapestry's guardian is Zeus.
368
00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:37,083
Unh.
369
00:16:48,792 --> 00:16:50,792
All right, cats and kittens.
370
00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:53,542
Hey, give it up for the
lord of the underworld,
371
00:16:53,625 --> 00:16:55,375
Mmm... Zeus!
372
00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:06,959
Nobody touches the tapestry.
373
00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:09,542
Pardon me, sir, but isn't
that your zany nephew,
374
00:17:09,625 --> 00:17:11,208
Uh, the son of Hades.
375
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:13,041
So it is.
376
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,417
Long time no see, kiddo.
377
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:18,458
Well, have a fun-filled
family reunion, kids.
378
00:17:18,583 --> 00:17:20,417
We just checked in a
bunch of new dead people,
379
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:24,125
and I gotta go see who
needs... doom service.
380
00:17:26,417 --> 00:17:29,333
Hercules, I didn't
recognize you.
381
00:17:29,417 --> 00:17:32,583
Or I never would have
blasted you like that.
382
00:17:32,667 --> 00:17:34,709
Uh, Father?
383
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:39,208
Whoa!
384
00:17:41,083 --> 00:17:42,667
Father, why that would be me.
385
00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:45,959
Hades. Oh, ha ha,
386
00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:48,333
I'm terribly sorry, brother.
387
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:49,917
I-I mean, your highness.
388
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,083
I thought your son
here was an intruder.
389
00:17:53,208 --> 00:17:54,375
Oh, well, ha ha ha.
390
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:56,667
That's why I'm the
king of Olympus,
391
00:17:56,750 --> 00:17:59,917
and you're just the lowly
keeper of the underworld.
392
00:18:00,041 --> 00:18:01,792
So, hey, how are
the dead guys, huh?
393
00:18:01,917 --> 00:18:04,166
Oh, still dead.
394
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,208
Ah, good, good.
Speaking of which...
395
00:18:06,291 --> 00:18:08,667
I think you'd better
destroy Hercules.
396
00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:11,542
W-W-Why? But he's your son!
397
00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:17,000
And he's trying to mess
with the tapestry of fate.
398
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:18,917
It's a teen rebellious thing.
399
00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:21,333
You know, the music,
and the hair, and...
400
00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:24,834
He's been hanging
out with mortals.
401
00:18:24,959 --> 00:18:26,041
Mortals! What do you do?
402
00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:28,583
Oh, mortals!
403
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,542
You know what I always say...
404
00:18:31,667 --> 00:18:34,500
Spare the lightning
rod, spoil the child.
405
00:18:34,583 --> 00:18:36,625
Oh, all I wanted to do
406
00:18:36,709 --> 00:18:39,458
was go to a stupid concert.
407
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:41,500
Whoa!
408
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,583
Hyah!
409
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:54,041
Ha-cha-woo.
410
00:18:56,792 --> 00:18:59,125
Whoa. Aah!
411
00:18:59,208 --> 00:19:00,834
Whoa! Ahh, ooh!
412
00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:10,041
Does my hair look stiff?
413
00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:11,208
I just got the part right.
414
00:19:11,333 --> 00:19:12,533
Is there something in my hair?
415
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:14,041
Oh, ha ha.
416
00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:18,667
Uh-oh.
417
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,834
Ooops!
418
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,959
Um... wow!
419
00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:33,667
Wow, babe, that-that was a
load-bearing stalactite. Hmm.
420
00:19:34,709 --> 00:19:36,000
Grab him!
421
00:19:36,125 --> 00:19:38,250
Yes, my dark Olympian master.
422
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:41,041
Ooh! Aah! Poo! Aah!
423
00:19:41,166 --> 00:19:42,792
Take that, you crazy nut.
424
00:19:42,917 --> 00:19:46,333
This new cosmic order
is a little disconcerting.
425
00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:49,917
And yet, somehow, it works.
426
00:19:50,959 --> 00:19:52,333
Aah! Yeah, baby.
427
00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:02,375
Hey, look at that.
428
00:20:02,458 --> 00:20:03,917
I'm bald. Ha.
429
00:20:04,959 --> 00:20:06,625
Ha ha!
430
00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:09,291
That's a spare.
431
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,166
Aah!
432
00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:18,417
Whoo! Cool and refreshing.
433
00:20:18,542 --> 00:20:21,834
Even as king of the gods, if
you want to get something done,
434
00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:24,083
hey, you gotta do it yourself.
435
00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:32,291
Gotcha.
436
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:36,000
Hoo! Haa! Hyah!
437
00:20:38,875 --> 00:20:40,041
Hyah!
438
00:20:55,792 --> 00:20:58,291
Wahoo! Yes!
439
00:20:58,417 --> 00:21:00,500
Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster!
440
00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:02,083
Just in time.
441
00:21:02,166 --> 00:21:06,750
Two tickets for the Orpheus
Never Look Back concert. Yes!
442
00:21:06,875 --> 00:21:08,083
Here you go. Last two.
443
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:10,458
Funny, they are
front row center.
444
00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:12,875
Hey! How did you
get here before me?
445
00:21:12,959 --> 00:21:18,125
The tickets are
a gift, young hero.
446
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:21,458
A token of our appreciation,
447
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:25,333
A remembrance
of our time together.
448
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,792
Yummy.
449
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:29,166
Eyew!
450
00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:30,959
You'd think the
Fates would be mad.
451
00:21:31,041 --> 00:21:33,291
I mean, if we hadn't
messed with the tapestry,
452
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:35,250
Hades wouldn't never
have gotten the idea.
453
00:21:35,333 --> 00:21:37,959
Oh, those gals
aren't petty like that.
454
00:21:38,083 --> 00:21:39,417
They got the eye, baby.
455
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:40,583
They see the big picture.
456
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:42,208
Now, let's go to
the concert event
457
00:21:42,333 --> 00:21:45,083
of the millennium, huh?
458
00:21:47,792 --> 00:21:49,041
Canceled?
459
00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:51,542
That's right. Darndest thing.
460
00:21:51,625 --> 00:21:54,083
He woke up this
morning, no voice.
461
00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:57,166
Ah, he really had
a great set of pipes.
462
00:21:57,291 --> 00:22:00,166
Ah, boy, and you
kids had choice seats.
463
00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:01,542
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
464
00:22:01,625 --> 00:22:04,333
Talk about your nasty
twist of fate, huh?
465
00:22:04,458 --> 00:22:06,208
The Fates.
466
00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:09,000
Please, we prefer to be called
467
00:22:09,083 --> 00:22:12,792
"predetermined
event facilitators."
31901
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