Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:10,375
♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
2
00:00:10,458 --> 00:00:11,792
♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:11,875 --> 00:00:14,291
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,375 --> 00:00:16,166
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:17,166
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:18,250
♪ No one braver ♪
7
00:00:18,333 --> 00:00:19,166
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
8
00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:21,667
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
9
00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:23,750
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:23,834 --> 00:00:25,583
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
11
00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:26,583
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,667 --> 00:00:28,667
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:31,792
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:31,875 --> 00:00:33,155
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
15
00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:35,000
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
16
00:00:35,083 --> 00:00:36,458
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
17
00:00:36,542 --> 00:00:37,458
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
18
00:00:37,542 --> 00:00:38,709
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
19
00:00:38,792 --> 00:00:40,583
♪ No complainin' ♪
20
00:00:40,667 --> 00:00:41,750
♪ He was a no one ♪
21
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,417
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
22
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:44,625
♪ He's our hero ♪
23
00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:47,792
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
24
00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:50,041
♪ From zero to hero ♪
25
00:00:50,125 --> 00:00:52,250
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
26
00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:57,750
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
27
00:00:57,834 --> 00:00:59,125
Wait and see!
28
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:10,083
The Greek city-states were
the wonder of the ancient world.
29
00:01:10,917 --> 00:01:13,542
Athens... birthplace
of modern government.
30
00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:16,542
Sparta... birthplace
of military science.
31
00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:21,625
Arcadia... birthplace
of... people from Arcadia.
32
00:01:21,709 --> 00:01:25,041
Been there, done
that, bought the T-shirt.
33
00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,125
Sweetheart, everybody's
heard of those places.
34
00:01:29,208 --> 00:01:33,125
Let's tell them about a place
they haven't heard about.
35
00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:35,625
- And that would be?
- Abacus Valley.
36
00:01:35,709 --> 00:01:39,166
Never been. I certainly
do not have the T-shirt.
37
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:42,625
What? Baby, have you been
locked in a sound booth all your life?
38
00:01:42,709 --> 00:01:44,417
As a... as a matter of fact...
39
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,375
Rest your pipes, darling.
40
00:01:47,667 --> 00:01:49,625
We are on.
41
00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:54,208
♪ Since the dawn of time
Man has struggled with math ♪
42
00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:57,875
♪ He had to use his fingers
Just to add and subtract ♪
43
00:01:57,959 --> 00:02:01,166
♪ Then along came a whiz
Not a moment too late ♪
44
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:04,458
♪ With an awesome new invention
That could really calculate ♪
45
00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:06,375
♪ He's a techno Greek ♪
46
00:02:08,125 --> 00:02:10,208
♪ He's a numbers freak ♪
47
00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:13,417
♪ On a winning streak ♪
48
00:02:15,083 --> 00:02:18,542
♪ And he'll soon
be in rolling dough ♪
49
00:02:18,625 --> 00:02:20,542
♪ He's a techno Greek ♪
50
00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:23,959
♪ He's got a factory ♪
51
00:02:24,041 --> 00:02:25,333
Ha ha!
52
00:02:25,417 --> 00:02:27,333
♪ He's a sheikh of geek ♪
53
00:02:28,834 --> 00:02:32,959
♪ And he's worth
his weight in gold ♪
54
00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:35,250
Life in the valley was sweet.
55
00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:37,834
But, child, there
was just one problem.
56
00:02:37,917 --> 00:02:39,542
Whoo-ha!
57
00:02:39,625 --> 00:02:42,875
And it had a human
head and a horse's feet.
58
00:02:51,709 --> 00:02:54,875
All right, centaurs,
let's giddyap.
59
00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:03,875
OK. Clear.
60
00:03:03,959 --> 00:03:07,917
Uh, Numericles, may I
suggest we get larger urns?
61
00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:09,041
More hiding room.
62
00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:12,333
No, Calculus. We
must hide no more.
63
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:16,000
Every Friday that gang of
centaurs pillages our city-state.
64
00:03:16,083 --> 00:03:17,792
We have to do something!
65
00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:21,041
We do, sir. We run, we
hide, we scream like little girls.
66
00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:22,625
It's been a very
successful program.
67
00:03:22,709 --> 00:03:25,375
The time has come to
terminate that program
68
00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:27,375
and stand up for ourselves.
69
00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:28,291
Really?
70
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,208
Uh... technically, no.
71
00:03:30,291 --> 00:03:33,375
We'll pay someone
to stand up for us.
72
00:03:33,417 --> 00:03:34,834
Oh.
73
00:03:34,917 --> 00:03:38,667
Above my vanquished foe I stood,
74
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:42,959
my feet entangled in
his steaming viscera.
75
00:03:43,041 --> 00:03:46,208
It was a mother's
day to remember.
76
00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:50,291
That was quite...
um, vivid, Tempest.
77
00:03:50,375 --> 00:03:54,542
But I'm not sure it
qualifies as light verse.
78
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:57,834
Poetry! Bah! I have
no use for words.
79
00:03:57,917 --> 00:04:00,291
An Amazon is primed for action.
80
00:04:01,834 --> 00:04:04,583
We strike first and
ask questions later...
81
00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:07,250
Assuming our enemy
still has a tongue!
82
00:04:07,333 --> 00:04:09,792
She scares me. I
need a little honey hug.
83
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,375
Cutting out the tongue...
84
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:14,542
Hmm. It would curb
the mindless prattle.
85
00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:16,500
Yeah, I hate prattle.
86
00:04:16,583 --> 00:04:18,250
OK. I'm next.
87
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:22,000
Ode to a hero... by, uh, me.
88
00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:25,500
"The hero can do
where others don't.
89
00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:29,291
The hero sees through
what others won't.
90
00:04:29,375 --> 00:04:31,625
Oh, to be a hero
91
00:04:31,709 --> 00:04:35,667
and never show any fear... o."
92
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,750
Suffer, Sappho.
93
00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:41,917
Very, uh, nice, Hercules.
94
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,750
But a lyric poem doesn't
actually have to rhyme.
95
00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:48,583
It has to express your passion.
96
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:51,166
You do have passion, don't you?
97
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,291
Well, uh, I want to be a hero
98
00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:55,500
more than anything,
Miss Cassiopeia.
99
00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:58,625
Now make me feel it.
100
00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:04,208
Hero rule number 42, the
hero stops the unstoppable,
101
00:05:04,291 --> 00:05:07,250
defends the defenseless,
helps the helpless.
102
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:08,583
Brains the brainless!
103
00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:12,667
Why, Hercules, you're a
lyric poet and didn't know it.
104
00:05:12,750 --> 00:05:14,792
Hate him. Hate this class.
105
00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:19,041
Have a golden
afternoon, everybody.
106
00:05:19,125 --> 00:05:21,792
I don't belong in
this pathetic school.
107
00:05:21,875 --> 00:05:23,750
I belong in battle,
108
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:28,291
employing my catlike reflexes,
my total sensory awareness.
109
00:05:28,375 --> 00:05:29,625
- Tempest?
- Hyah!
110
00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:30,709
Aah!
111
00:05:32,542 --> 00:05:34,417
You forgot your poem.
112
00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:36,208
Keep it.
113
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,291
Ugh!
114
00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:42,667
Whoa!
115
00:05:43,208 --> 00:05:45,500
Who-o-o-o-a!
116
00:05:46,709 --> 00:05:47,792
Vision!
117
00:05:47,875 --> 00:05:49,667
I see an enormous boulder
118
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,375
destroying
everything in its path.
119
00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:52,750
Oh, where?
120
00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:53,917
Turn around.
121
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,375
Aah!
122
00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:56,458
Look out!
123
00:05:56,542 --> 00:05:58,000
Your abacus!
124
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:01,500
Ohh.
125
00:06:01,542 --> 00:06:05,083
I mean, I'm an Amazon.
I have my own needs.
126
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:06,583
Who-o-a!
127
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,083
Ooh. Sword for hire.
128
00:06:09,166 --> 00:06:13,834
Finally a chance to quench
my insatiable bloodthirst.
129
00:06:13,917 --> 00:06:17,208
I shall find my destiny in...
130
00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:19,125
Abacus Valley...
131
00:06:20,667 --> 00:06:23,542
Home of the most brilliant
minds in all of Greece.
132
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:26,375
Yeah, and they're all
bigger geeks than me.
133
00:06:26,458 --> 00:06:29,542
I feel muy macho here.
134
00:06:29,625 --> 00:06:31,125
Look at this.
135
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:32,792
The helpline is jammed.
136
00:06:32,875 --> 00:06:35,625
There you go, sir... A
brand-new power slate.
137
00:06:35,709 --> 00:06:37,917
Ooh, and don't forget
your free upgraded ram.
138
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,083
May I...
139
00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:43,583
"In case of girl,
breathe deeply,
140
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:45,458
Remain calm, check comb-over."
141
00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,250
May I help you?
142
00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:51,000
My abacus broke.
143
00:06:51,083 --> 00:06:54,083
Actually, I crushed it
with a giant celestial globe.
144
00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:58,083
- It's funny, really. I...
- Shh! I'm in diagnostic mode.
145
00:06:58,166 --> 00:06:59,250
Can you fix it?
146
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:02,000
Does Isosceles get
triangle royalties?
147
00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:05,583
A little math humor there.
148
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:10,792
Uh, yeah, I can fix it.
149
00:07:10,875 --> 00:07:13,250
But a beguiling
young minx like you
150
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:15,417
should have our
upgrade program...
151
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:19,625
Abacus XCVIII.
152
00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:21,709
I'd be happy to install it.
153
00:07:21,792 --> 00:07:23,875
I'll give it the personal touch.
154
00:07:23,959 --> 00:07:24,959
Give me that!
155
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:29,041
You're not personally touching
anything, Mr. Smooth operator!
156
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:32,542
Well, can you put together
something this complicated?
157
00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:34,750
I don't see why not.
158
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:41,875
Well, uh, hmm...
Princess Tempest...
159
00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:44,000
You certainly have
an impressive resume.
160
00:07:44,083 --> 00:07:48,417
This "things I've skinned
alive" section is quite... vivid.
161
00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:51,333
When do I start?
162
00:07:51,417 --> 00:07:55,333
Well... The centaurs
attack every Friday,
163
00:07:55,417 --> 00:07:56,959
and today is Friday.
164
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:58,375
The centaurs!
165
00:07:58,458 --> 00:08:01,250
It's "scream like a
little girl" time. Aaah!
166
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:02,875
Welcome to our team.
167
00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:05,500
Yes! Abacus Valley will flood
168
00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:09,125
with the blood of many centaurs.
169
00:08:09,208 --> 00:08:10,041
Super.
170
00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:12,583
But first, we do have
a bit of paperwork.
171
00:08:16,625 --> 00:08:18,792
Could it be that I offend?
172
00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:20,667
In every conceivable way.
173
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:25,750
Techno Greeks!
Come out and pla-a-y!
174
00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:30,417
Centaurs! I've got
to do something.
175
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,917
I must warn you that
as a hero-in-training
176
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,458
I must defend the defenseless.
177
00:08:35,542 --> 00:08:37,959
Oh, lookee here.
178
00:08:38,041 --> 00:08:39,750
A real live hero.
179
00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:42,834
Soon to be a real dead hero.
180
00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:53,125
Yee-haw!
181
00:09:00,208 --> 00:09:01,583
Oh.
182
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:15,125
- Huh?
- Beads away!
183
00:09:23,792 --> 00:09:26,583
Wagons... West!
184
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,083
Hyah!
185
00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:31,750
Sometimes I
forget. Herc's strong.
186
00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:33,000
Abnormally so.
187
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:36,250
Prepare to feel the
awesome wrath of Tempest,
188
00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:39,458
You... you... You?
189
00:09:39,542 --> 00:09:40,542
Hi, Tempest.
190
00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:44,208
Excellent performance.
191
00:09:44,291 --> 00:09:46,083
Truly alpha one.
192
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:47,333
Battle-damage assessment...
193
00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:49,500
You kicked centaur tail!
194
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:51,333
It was nothing, really.
195
00:09:51,417 --> 00:09:53,417
- I... I just...
- Stole my job!
196
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,709
Back to school, do-gooder.
197
00:09:55,792 --> 00:09:58,208
I'm the local hired sword.
198
00:09:58,291 --> 00:09:59,291
Hired?
199
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,458
You mean you're charging
to defend these people?
200
00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:03,083
Actually...
201
00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:05,583
We haven't finalized
the salary package.
202
00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:07,500
You can't charge to
defend the defenseless.
203
00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:09,583
Maybe a hero can't.
204
00:10:09,667 --> 00:10:11,667
But a warrior can.
205
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:13,583
Ooh, really?
206
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,333
Let's talk... hero.
207
00:10:19,041 --> 00:10:21,959
Well, you're both
pretty evenly matched.
208
00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:26,291
Demigod. Amazon princess.
209
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:27,709
Well, darn it,
210
00:10:27,792 --> 00:10:31,583
I just keep coming
back to this salary issue.
211
00:10:31,667 --> 00:10:34,625
We're going with the
volunteer... I mean, hero.
212
00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:38,458
Oh, thanks! I'll be the
best hero you've ever seen.
213
00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:41,834
Oh, um, I'm sure you would
have been terrific, too, Tempest.
214
00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:45,458
You'll pay for this
humiliation, bead counter!
215
00:10:45,542 --> 00:10:49,166
My vengeance will be painfully,
216
00:10:49,250 --> 00:10:52,083
agonizingly vengeful.
217
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:56,917
No complimentary
tote bag for you.
218
00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,208
Whoa. Well, that's
all settled, eh?
219
00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:05,083
Let's have a big lusty cheer
for our new hero Hercules!
220
00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:07,709
- Hooray! Hooray!
- Hooray!
221
00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:12,250
Ow! Oh, muscle spasm.
222
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:15,208
Ha ha! I think we all
get the general idea.
223
00:11:19,333 --> 00:11:23,125
Welcome to the Feed Bag,
a great place to tie one on.
224
00:11:23,208 --> 00:11:24,458
What's your pleasure?
225
00:11:24,542 --> 00:11:25,667
Revenge!
226
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:29,041
Ah, a dish best served cold.
227
00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,542
Hey, you're a human.
228
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:33,917
That's Amazon, short boy.
229
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,500
Yes, I'm sure.
230
00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:38,250
But this is a centaur hangout.
231
00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:41,667
Oh, Blotox won't like this.
232
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,667
"Blotox?"
233
00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:47,875
What kind of a
stupid name is Blotox?
234
00:11:47,959 --> 00:11:49,250
My name.
235
00:11:50,959 --> 00:11:55,417
Blotox is my name,
and you have...
236
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,792
Seconds to take that back.
237
00:11:57,875 --> 00:12:00,417
You want to take
this outside, stud?
238
00:12:18,959 --> 00:12:20,417
Did you see that?
239
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,834
Next.
240
00:12:21,917 --> 00:12:23,333
You...
241
00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:26,166
You defeated our leader.
242
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:28,500
- Want to be next?
- No, no!
243
00:12:28,583 --> 00:12:30,291
According to the bylaws
244
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:34,291
of our galloping, destroying,
and galloping away again club,
245
00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:36,625
That makes you our new leader.
246
00:12:36,709 --> 00:12:38,417
Why would I want
to be the leader
247
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:41,917
of a gang of smelly,
grass-munching...
248
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,333
Hold that insult.
249
00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:44,917
Under my leadership,
250
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,041
we could form a
fearsome fighting force.
251
00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:49,750
Ere this week is out,
252
00:12:49,834 --> 00:12:53,041
Abacus Valley and their new hero
253
00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:56,083
shall feel the wrath of Tempest!
254
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,542
If I could just slip in here...
255
00:12:57,625 --> 00:13:01,625
I checked with the cook. Sorry.
Revenge isn't on the menu.
256
00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:04,834
It is now.
257
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:12,959
Let's see. Ah! Ah!
258
00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:17,709
Insert bead alpha
into slot delta!
259
00:13:17,792 --> 00:13:20,542
Boy, it's like I've graduated
from hero training.
260
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:23,291
Say hello to the hero.
261
00:13:26,166 --> 00:13:28,125
You don't have to
laugh in my face.
262
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,375
No, no! The guy's joke.
263
00:13:30,458 --> 00:13:34,458
Isosceles, triangle,
royalties... that's great!
264
00:13:34,542 --> 00:13:37,959
So, uh, how do you suppose the
Amazons actually cut out a tongue?
265
00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:40,792
Hey, that's my beeper.
266
00:13:40,875 --> 00:13:43,500
Abacus Valley needs their hero.
267
00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:44,500
See ya!
268
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:46,667
Ha! I did it.
269
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:51,417
Your abacus is plugged in
to the information aqueduct.
270
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:54,291
Aye! I hope you
backed this thing up.
271
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:06,792
Ooh! Four minutes, 29
seconds, and three grains.
272
00:14:06,875 --> 00:14:08,000
Excellent.
273
00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:09,083
All right.
274
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:11,291
Where are the centaurs?
275
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:14,709
Uh... There's no attack today.
276
00:14:14,792 --> 00:14:17,583
But it was essential that we
measure your response time.
277
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:19,333
For the inevitable eventuality
278
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:22,667
of an actual centaur-type
emergency situation.
279
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:25,000
Oh, OK. No problem.
280
00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:28,625
Well, beep me if you need me.
281
00:14:28,709 --> 00:14:30,458
Don't worry. We will.
282
00:14:31,583 --> 00:14:33,417
And did they ever.
283
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,458
♪ Herc went to work ♪
284
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,542
♪ But he's feeling like a jerk ♪
285
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:42,291
♪ 'Cause those techno
Greeks keep pulling his chain ♪
286
00:14:42,375 --> 00:14:43,667
Poor kid.
287
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,667
♪ Even when he's sleeping ♪
288
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:47,875
♪ His bosses keep on beeping ♪
289
00:14:47,959 --> 00:14:52,041
♪ So far this hero
game is a pain ♪
290
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,166
♪ He'll keep on trying ♪
291
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:56,667
♪ But there's no denying ♪
292
00:14:56,750 --> 00:15:01,250
♪ That this herky-jerky
job is lame ♪
293
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:05,208
T... T... There's a
centaur in that bush.
294
00:15:06,542 --> 00:15:11,125
Guys, do you remember
how big centaurs are?
295
00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:12,667
Maybe he's crouching.
296
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:13,959
Ugh!
297
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:23,500
All right, give
me 100 leg lifts!
298
00:15:23,583 --> 00:15:25,250
Move those fetlocks! Now!
299
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,291
But, your leaderness lady,
300
00:15:27,375 --> 00:15:30,333
it's time for us to
attack Abacus Valley.
301
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,792
We always attack on Friday.
302
00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:34,458
Did it ever occur to you
303
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:37,417
that because you
always attack on Fridays
304
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:40,375
the techno Greeks
know you're coming?
305
00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:43,750
But it ends the week
on kind of a high note.
306
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:44,834
No more.
307
00:15:44,875 --> 00:15:47,750
We're going to launch
a surprise attack
308
00:15:47,834 --> 00:15:49,917
on Monday.
309
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:52,333
- Oh!
- Oh!
310
00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:57,333
I don't know, Pegasus.
311
00:15:57,417 --> 00:16:00,375
This hero stuff isn't exactly
what I thought it would be.
312
00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:04,773
I mean, they're nice guys
and all, it's just that they call me
313
00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:06,375
every time they
see their shadow.
314
00:16:06,458 --> 00:16:08,250
I really don't get
to right any wrongs
315
00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:11,583
or rescue any
damsels or anything.
316
00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:14,333
I don't feel like a hero. I
feel more like a... like...
317
00:16:17,917 --> 00:16:19,834
Like a babysitter.
318
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:30,291
All right!
319
00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:31,458
OK, centaur.
320
00:16:31,542 --> 00:16:34,000
Your marauding days are over!
321
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:40,166
You're right. I'll
never maraud again.
322
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:43,083
Oh, sorry. I... I didn't
mean to hurt your feelings.
323
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:44,542
Well, you did.
324
00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:46,834
My herd gave me the hoof.
325
00:16:46,917 --> 00:16:49,250
My life has no meaning now.
326
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:52,291
You're not alone.
327
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:55,000
I thought I'd hit
the hero big time.
328
00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:57,667
- Hey!
- No thanks. I already ate.
329
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,417
No, I... I mean,
hey, I... I got an idea.
330
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,250
Your life has no meaning.
My life is demeaning.
331
00:17:03,333 --> 00:17:04,625
We can help each other.
332
00:17:04,709 --> 00:17:07,709
How would you like to be my
deputy and protect Abacus Valley?
333
00:17:07,792 --> 00:17:10,709
Sounds awfully touchy-feely.
334
00:17:10,792 --> 00:17:12,000
You can do it.
335
00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:15,125
Blotox, you can
learn to be good.
336
00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:37,375
You're doing great, Blotox,
337
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,834
but you can't be a
hero without rules.
338
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:43,375
Uh, if this is about that little
accident I had on the rug...
339
00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:46,333
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no. Hero rules.
340
00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:50,375
Like hero rule number
93, strength isn't everything.
341
00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:53,417
Sometimes you can defeat
your opponent with cunning.
342
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:55,291
Cu-nning?
343
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,792
Using your intelligence.
344
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:59,917
Intelli... Your wits.
345
00:18:00,041 --> 00:18:03,792
W... W... W... Want
to play with a sword?
346
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,250
Goody!
347
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:08,000
All right. On
Monday, at high noon,
348
00:18:08,083 --> 00:18:10,917
Alpha and Beta squads
will create a diversion here.
349
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,792
While I lead Charlie
Company on the final charge!
350
00:18:14,917 --> 00:18:18,291
Attacking on Monday...
that's so radical.
351
00:18:19,709 --> 00:18:24,583
Gentlemen, my
new deputy... Blotox.
352
00:18:24,709 --> 00:18:26,917
A centaur! Run for your lives!
353
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,208
No. Wait, wait, wait.
He's on our side.
354
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:32,166
Ha! There is
nothing in this world
355
00:18:32,250 --> 00:18:35,250
that would make me
allow a filthy centaur
356
00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,208
to protect our fair valley.
357
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,083
Whoo-ha!
358
00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:41,542
Welcome to the team.
359
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,208
Tempest is with the centaurs?
360
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,417
And they're attacking on Monday.
361
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,208
Why didn't I ever think of that?
362
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:54,166
Hercules.
363
00:18:54,291 --> 00:18:58,875
Prepare to taste the steely
blade of swift retribution.
364
00:18:58,959 --> 00:19:02,250
Yeah! Prepare
the tasty sling blade
365
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:06,291
rest and relaxation
and what she said.
366
00:19:06,417 --> 00:19:07,417
Ugh!
367
00:19:07,458 --> 00:19:09,709
I'd like to see us
work through this.
368
00:19:09,792 --> 00:19:10,875
Indeed!
369
00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:14,625
The vultures will
feast on your liver!
370
00:19:14,709 --> 00:19:17,625
Aah! I was thinking more
of a compromise thing.
371
00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:18,709
Whoa!
372
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:20,792
Ugh!
373
00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:23,041
Hey, there's no one in line!
374
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:25,208
This is great.
375
00:19:25,291 --> 00:19:29,125
Hello? Over here,
little help. Hello?
376
00:19:30,375 --> 00:19:32,417
I hate guys with ponytails.
377
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:40,834
Aye! Leave me alone!
378
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:49,333
Uh, I hate to fight and
run, but you know...
379
00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:51,291
Defend the
defenseless and all that.
380
00:19:51,417 --> 00:19:52,875
Come back here!
381
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,875
I was winning!
382
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,875
Attacking centaurs.
383
00:19:57,959 --> 00:19:59,875
Jeez, what could
be worse than that?
384
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,208
Well, hello there.
385
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,291
OK. Obvious setup. My fault.
386
00:20:03,417 --> 00:20:07,458
I have a cowardly hiding
place for two, my sweet.
387
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:12,542
This would be a good time
388
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:14,667
for Zeus to take a
personal interest in my life.
389
00:20:16,208 --> 00:20:17,417
Son of Zeus. Close enough.
390
00:20:17,542 --> 00:20:20,125
I'll stand up to
these ro-owdies!
391
00:20:20,208 --> 00:20:21,458
Whoa!
392
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:23,041
Ugh!
393
00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:27,458
Herc... count on him.
394
00:20:27,583 --> 00:20:30,375
I had hoped to
vanquish Hercules,
395
00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:31,667
but you'll do.
396
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:33,500
No way, sister.
397
00:20:36,917 --> 00:20:39,083
Ugh!
398
00:20:39,208 --> 00:20:41,166
Blotox, remember the rules.
399
00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:42,291
Use your cunning.
400
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,834
His what?
401
00:20:43,959 --> 00:20:48,125
Now I'm gonna put
you out to pasture.
402
00:20:48,208 --> 00:20:49,792
Me thinks not.
403
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:51,875
I'm cunning.
404
00:20:54,792 --> 00:20:57,250
Whoa! Oh!
405
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:00,792
Hey! You did it!
406
00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:04,792
Blotox, we was rooting
for you the whole time.
407
00:21:04,875 --> 00:21:06,542
You're the horse, man.
408
00:21:06,625 --> 00:21:09,750
The centaur of attention.
409
00:21:09,834 --> 00:21:12,458
We shall meet again, Hercules,
410
00:21:12,542 --> 00:21:16,917
and my vengeance
will be swift and bloody.
411
00:21:17,041 --> 00:21:18,750
See you in math class.
412
00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:22,291
OK. Oh, hey, don't
forget... Test tomorrow.
413
00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:24,333
Now that you're our leader again
414
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:27,500
we can go back to
attacking on Fridays!
415
00:21:30,083 --> 00:21:31,458
Attack on Fridays!
416
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:33,166
Now, hang on a second.
417
00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:34,917
Herc, here, made me his deputy.
418
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,875
That'd mean I'd have to attack
and defend at the same time.
419
00:21:38,959 --> 00:21:42,458
Well, that just sounds, uh,
mighty confusing, don't it?
420
00:21:42,583 --> 00:21:45,667
Oh, yeah. Well, uh,
never thought of it that way.
421
00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:47,500
So, uh, what do we do?
422
00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:49,125
I have a suggestion.
423
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:53,208
This ram is totally incompatible
with my power slate,
424
00:21:53,291 --> 00:21:56,083
and I'd like to know what
you plan to do about it!
425
00:21:56,166 --> 00:21:58,709
Oh, security!
426
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:00,208
Is there a problem, sir?
427
00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:02,917
I, uh... Why don't
we step outside, sir?
428
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,125
Uh, we are outside.
429
00:22:07,834 --> 00:22:09,792
Aaah!
430
00:22:12,417 --> 00:22:15,959
Hmm. These centaurs make
excellent security guards.
29993
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof