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♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
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♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,542
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:16,333
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,417
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,458 --> 00:00:18,458
♪ No one braver ♪
7
00:00:18,542 --> 00:00:19,750
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
8
00:00:19,834 --> 00:00:21,834
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
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00:00:21,917 --> 00:00:23,917
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,750
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
11
00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:26,750
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:28,834
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:31,959
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:32,041 --> 00:00:33,625
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
15
00:00:33,709 --> 00:00:35,166
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
16
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,625
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
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♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
18
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♪ And the nicest guy ♪
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00:00:39,291 --> 00:00:40,750
♪ No complainin' ♪
20
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:42,083
♪ He was a no one ♪
21
00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:43,643
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
22
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:44,792
♪ He's our hero ♪
23
00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:48,500
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
24
00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:49,583
♪ From zero to hero ♪
25
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,000
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
26
00:00:52,709 --> 00:00:57,917
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
27
00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,667
Wait and see!
28
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:08,583
Some say the greatest inventor
29
00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:11,125
in all antiquity was Daedalus...
30
00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:12,959
The master artificer.
31
00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:14,125
Some even claim that he...
32
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:15,959
Hello, narrator, dude?
33
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:18,291
Oh, for heaven's
sakes, now what?
34
00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:21,583
Uh, just who are
these some people?
35
00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:26,083
Well, me. I'm saying
it and I wasn't finished.
36
00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:28,458
Now don't go
gettin' all icy on us.
37
00:01:28,542 --> 00:01:31,250
'Cause we got the dish
on Daedalus, honey.
38
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,333
He invented the first compass,
39
00:01:34,417 --> 00:01:36,041
Put the sail in sailing,
40
00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:38,250
and the fold in folding chairs.
41
00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:40,000
- He was...
- Da bomb?
42
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,208
That was not one of his.
43
00:01:42,291 --> 00:01:45,625
But he did cook up the wax
wings that got his son brain-fried.
44
00:01:46,667 --> 00:01:48,792
Ahh, his son, Icarus.
45
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,166
I was getting to that.
46
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:51,959
Well, get to it!
47
00:01:52,041 --> 00:01:54,667
Ahem. Yes, well,
in today's story,
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00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,625
Daedalus, shop teacher
at Prometheus Academy
49
00:01:57,709 --> 00:01:59,291
and father of Icarus,
50
00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:01,375
faces the greatest
challenge of his life.
51
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:06,542
A certain all-thumbs
student named Hercules.
52
00:02:06,625 --> 00:02:09,333
There are
approximately 12 of you.
53
00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:12,875
You are all adolescents.
54
00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:17,417
Therefore, you must
be my new class.
55
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:20,542
We shall begin molding
your tender young minds
56
00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,792
with a group project.
57
00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:25,208
A solar-powered catapult?
58
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:27,208
And you are? Hercules.
59
00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:30,458
Ahh, Icarus has told me of you.
60
00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:33,375
Hero-in-training. And strong...
61
00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,542
Abnormally so.
62
00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:37,959
Well, yeah, I, uh, huh?
63
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:39,208
Meaningless here!
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00:02:39,291 --> 00:02:41,041
In this room, we are not heroes.
65
00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:43,583
We are inventists!
66
00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:46,959
Creatons! Manipuladores!
67
00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:48,041
Hey!
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00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:51,917
Behold the
greatest gift of all...
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00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,625
Raw manual dexterity.
70
00:02:53,709 --> 00:02:57,375
You, hero, shall operate
the trigger on the catapult.
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00:02:57,458 --> 00:02:59,917
Try not to blow
it, Destructo boy.
72
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,542
We get a group grade on this.
73
00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:04,917
Sunlight enters and
reflects off the mirror.
74
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,917
This glass focuses the
solar rays on the string...
75
00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:10,792
Burning! Burning!
76
00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:12,458
Activating the device.
77
00:03:12,542 --> 00:03:14,375
Can't you just do this?
78
00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:15,500
No.
79
00:03:22,417 --> 00:03:25,667
I'll see you after school, hero.
80
00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:33,625
I just don't think I'm
cut out for shop class.
81
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:34,792
It could be worse.
82
00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:37,041
It could be home greconomics.
83
00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:40,709
Or gym. The bane
of my existence.
84
00:03:40,792 --> 00:03:42,458
At least those classes
serve a purpose.
85
00:03:42,542 --> 00:03:44,250
Shop class is useless.
86
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:48,333
And we define useless as
"something you're not good at?"
87
00:03:48,417 --> 00:03:51,041
Precision cut.
88
00:03:51,125 --> 00:03:53,583
I'm serious. I'm
a hero-in-training,
89
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,792
not a manipuladore.
90
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,083
Whatever that is.
91
00:03:57,166 --> 00:04:01,166
Well, hello, it's a
synonym for Creaton.
92
00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:03,291
Come on, we're going to be late.
93
00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:04,750
Maybe you're going to be late,
94
00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:06,375
but I'm not going to be late.
95
00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:07,458
Pain!
96
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,583
And panic.
97
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,583
Reporting for duty!
98
00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:16,709
Hello? Hades?
99
00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:18,208
Yoo-hoo?
100
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:22,792
What about our weekly "scheme
to rearrange the cosmos" meeting?
101
00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:24,709
I thought attendance
was mandatory.
102
00:04:24,792 --> 00:04:26,625
Hades left a note.
103
00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,375
Does he say anything about me?
104
00:04:28,458 --> 00:04:31,000
"Boys, gone to trick
my brother, Poseidon,
105
00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:32,792
into rearranging the cosmos.
106
00:04:32,875 --> 00:04:36,000
Signed, soon to have
much power, Hades.
107
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:38,041
P.S. You're late!"
108
00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:39,709
Oh, forgive us, Hades!
109
00:04:39,792 --> 00:04:43,000
We are naught but your toadies.
110
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,333
Wait, he's not even here.
111
00:04:45,417 --> 00:04:47,709
Man, he's good.
112
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,917
Say, brother, did I
ever tell you about
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00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,792
when I invented
the marine mammal?
114
00:04:57,875 --> 00:05:00,542
Yeah, Poseidon, about
a zillion times. Anyway...
115
00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:02,208
'Course, the first few drowned.
116
00:05:02,291 --> 00:05:03,917
You know, uh, mammals.
117
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,750
Ha. Then it hit me...
blowhole! Ha ha!
118
00:05:07,834 --> 00:05:08,834
Look at him go!
119
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,083
Here you try it.
120
00:05:10,166 --> 00:05:11,333
Hold it in your teeth.
121
00:05:14,875 --> 00:05:16,792
Cute. No, really.
122
00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:18,750
Ahh, they can't help but be.
123
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:20,458
I designed them that way.
124
00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:23,750
What can I say? You're a God.
125
00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:26,959
In fact, why are you stuck
in this backwater water?
126
00:05:27,709 --> 00:05:30,000
You are obviously
almighty material.
127
00:05:30,083 --> 00:05:32,291
Well, I'm mighty. There.
128
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:35,125
A tidal wave just blew
out Lemnos beach.
129
00:05:35,208 --> 00:05:36,875
Splash!
130
00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:40,792
Nice, but I'm talking
almighty like... like Zeus.
131
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:43,375
He's got heavens and the earth.
132
00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:46,375
And you, you've got
water and a big fork, OK?
133
00:05:46,458 --> 00:05:48,291
I mean, grant it,
it's a lot of water
134
00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,500
and, you know, a
really nice big fork.
135
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:53,959
But... you need,
you need, uh, people.
136
00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:55,875
Yeah, that's... that's
where it's at, bro.
137
00:05:55,959 --> 00:05:57,750
People praising and worshiping
138
00:05:57,834 --> 00:06:00,125
and offering offerings.
139
00:06:00,208 --> 00:06:03,375
Offerings, huh?
140
00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:05,792
Things have been a little
slow in that department.
141
00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:08,625
See? It's like shooting
fish in a barrel.
142
00:06:08,709 --> 00:06:09,792
Bada bing.
143
00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:12,750
We gotta get you a city-state.
144
00:06:12,834 --> 00:06:14,834
Like, uh, I dunno, I
see you with, like, uh,
145
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,834
Athens.
146
00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:19,667
If it were up to me, I
would give you Athens.
147
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,041
Oop, did I say Athens?
148
00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:25,834
Poseidopolis. How does
that sound? Huh? Nice, huh?
149
00:06:25,917 --> 00:06:28,583
Poseidopolis?
150
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:31,458
You know, of course, it's
not up to me. It never will be.
151
00:06:31,542 --> 00:06:33,750
Unless? Nah, nah.
152
00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:35,375
What? What? Unless what?
153
00:06:35,458 --> 00:06:37,417
It's mshuga. It's crazy talk.
154
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:41,500
The river Sstyx is the
official border of my domain.
155
00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:44,166
You see, if the river Styx
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00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:46,959
were to alter its course to
say, you know, include Greece.
157
00:06:47,041 --> 00:06:48,333
Nah, it's crazy talk.
158
00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:51,125
Unless some aqua deity
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00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:54,834
with the power to move
rivers would intervene
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00:06:54,917 --> 00:06:58,000
to make Greece part
of the underworld,
161
00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:01,458
then of course it would
be my call who gets...
162
00:07:01,542 --> 00:07:03,458
Athens!
163
00:07:03,542 --> 00:07:05,625
Yeah, right.
164
00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:08,959
Wait a minute. I could do that!
165
00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:11,458
Oh, what, you
think I was serious?
166
00:07:11,542 --> 00:07:14,083
I can't give you Athens. Geez.
167
00:07:14,166 --> 00:07:16,750
The jewel of Greek
city-states? Never.
168
00:07:16,834 --> 00:07:19,375
Please!
169
00:07:19,458 --> 00:07:21,792
OK, shake. Ooh, what
a dealmaker you are.
170
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,291
What a hundler, huh?
171
00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:25,542
And they say you're
wet behind the ears, huh?
172
00:07:29,291 --> 00:07:31,208
We shall start at the
beginning, you and I.
173
00:07:31,291 --> 00:07:33,625
The basics. Ah, here.
174
00:07:33,709 --> 00:07:36,125
Behold the fundamental machine.
175
00:07:36,208 --> 00:07:37,375
The lever.
176
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,458
Sublimely simple.
Say it with me.
177
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,083
Got it. No, say lever!
178
00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:42,291
Never mind.
179
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:43,959
Here's a working model.
180
00:07:44,041 --> 00:07:46,709
In the words of my close,
personal friend Archimedes,
181
00:07:46,792 --> 00:07:48,542
give me a lever long enough,
182
00:07:48,625 --> 00:07:51,434
a fulcrum high enough,
a place to stand,
183
00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:53,250
and I'll kiss you on the nose.
184
00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:54,333
He was a strange man.
185
00:07:54,417 --> 00:07:55,959
But now, you see,
we can lift objects
186
00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:57,750
that would otherwise
be too large,
187
00:07:57,834 --> 00:07:59,333
too, um, um, heavy.
188
00:07:59,417 --> 00:08:01,041
Too heavy?
189
00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:03,542
It's just an anvil. See?
190
00:08:11,542 --> 00:08:16,875
Icarus, I am dropping
your dad's dumb shop class.
191
00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:20,792
Hey, dad-alus'
class is not dumb.
192
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,709
He's a great inventist.
193
00:08:22,792 --> 00:08:25,125
Oh, come on. Those
widgets of his are useless.
194
00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:28,417
His widgets? Useless!
195
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:31,542
Need I remind you
of the milkqueduct.
196
00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:32,834
You call this useless?
197
00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:38,625
OK, well, how about
his lyre-crossbow
198
00:08:38,709 --> 00:08:40,000
for the poet-warrior?
199
00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:43,834
But wait, there's more.
200
00:08:43,917 --> 00:08:47,750
His self-sacrificing sheep!
201
00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,291
I rest my case.
202
00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:51,208
Totally useless.
203
00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:03,083
Styx, goddess of the
river of the underworld,
204
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:07,375
by my divine power
as lord of the waters,
205
00:09:07,458 --> 00:09:10,041
I command you!
206
00:09:15,083 --> 00:09:16,959
Ah, squid.
207
00:09:17,041 --> 00:09:19,250
Gotta remember to
lube this thing. Come on!
208
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,750
Dad-alus's
inventions are genius!
209
00:09:29,834 --> 00:09:31,000
They're useless, Icarus.
210
00:09:31,083 --> 00:09:32,000
They're genius.
211
00:09:32,083 --> 00:09:33,375
And the class is useless.
212
00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:34,542
Uh, guys...
213
00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:36,792
Hate to interrupt
this free flow of ideas,
214
00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:38,542
but I see a disaster coming.
215
00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:40,500
Can the vision wait, hon?
216
00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:42,417
I'm not talkin' distant future.
217
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,750
This is instant future.
218
00:09:57,917 --> 00:10:01,458
♪ Old flame top is honing ♪
219
00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:04,709
♪ A plan for rezoning ♪
220
00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:10,709
♪ And takin' his
show on the road ♪
221
00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:15,291
♪ Just look at him gloating ♪
222
00:10:15,375 --> 00:10:19,208
♪ While busily boding ♪
223
00:10:19,291 --> 00:10:25,125
♪ That ego must
be quite a load ♪
224
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,375
Come on, ladies,
sing along with Hades.
225
00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:34,125
♪ Let me show you
girls Around in my town ♪
226
00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:35,375
♪ New hades ♪
227
00:10:35,458 --> 00:10:39,792
♪ Sure beats livin'
Underground in my town ♪
228
00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:40,917
♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪
229
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,959
♪ I got a penthouse
on Spark Avenue ♪
230
00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:46,041
♪ I'd like you to see ♪
231
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:48,792
♪ Museums and
parks and works of art ♪
232
00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:51,917
♪ Are, hey, dedicated to me ♪
233
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,959
♪ The shop at doom and
Gloomingdales In my town ♪
234
00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:57,333
♪ In his town ♪
235
00:10:57,417 --> 00:10:58,667
♪ We'll dine tonight ♪
236
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,834
♪ In Togas and tails
in, yeah, my town ♪
237
00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:03,000
♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪
238
00:11:03,083 --> 00:11:04,083
♪ I'm the host ♪
239
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:05,875
♪ Who loves to toast ♪
240
00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:07,875
♪ Another job well done ♪
241
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,208
♪ In my town ♪
242
00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:10,375
♪ In his town ♪
243
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,500
♪ I'm number one ♪
244
00:11:11,542 --> 00:11:12,750
Not in my book you ain't.
245
00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:14,125
Hey!
246
00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:16,333
♪ I'm honest, I'm mayor ♪
247
00:11:16,417 --> 00:11:18,166
♪ I'm chief of police ♪
248
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:19,291
♪ Oh ho ho ♪
249
00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:20,375
Yeah.
250
00:11:20,417 --> 00:11:22,166
♪ His town ♪
251
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:25,208
♪ The hottest spot
in all of Greece ♪
252
00:11:25,291 --> 00:11:27,875
♪ Has a home, what town? ♪
253
00:11:27,959 --> 00:11:29,166
♪ Whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪
254
00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:30,834
♪ The Parthenon ♪
255
00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:32,709
♪ The crowning jewel ♪
256
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:35,667
♪ Could use my flare
for urban renewal ♪
257
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:36,834
What?
258
00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:38,184
I'm just kidding. I
wouldn't change a thing.
259
00:11:38,208 --> 00:11:39,625
I'm serious... not!
260
00:11:39,709 --> 00:11:40,709
Hot! ♪ His town ♪
261
00:11:41,542 --> 00:11:43,500
♪ Yeah, in my town ♪
262
00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:46,401
Hey, you gotta
love it, don't you?
263
00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:47,792
Keys are with the valet.
264
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,101
Thank you very much. Good night.
265
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,125
♪ His town ♪
266
00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:57,583
Ahh, eager young minds,
267
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,959
the best and brightest
hope for the future.
268
00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:02,667
Time to extinguish that hope.
269
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,291
Hi, kids. Name's Hades.
270
00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:07,667
I'm your new principal.
271
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:09,476
I'll be instituting a new
educational paradigm
272
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:10,500
based on the three R's.
273
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:12,000
Revenge, requital,
and retribution.
274
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:12,959
You'll love it!
275
00:12:13,041 --> 00:12:16,041
And get this,
there's no homework!
276
00:12:17,166 --> 00:12:19,458
Because you don't
get to go home.
277
00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:22,125
No way, Hades!
278
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:25,542
Ha ha, way, Herc.
279
00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:27,542
OK, torment time.
Come on, inspiration.
280
00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:28,625
Hit me, baby. Come on.
281
00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:29,917
Hey, this is high school.
282
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,583
Can Hades make it any worse?
283
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,709
Our first victim...
Helen of Troy!
284
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:40,208
Um, I think I can speak for the
whole student body when I say that...
285
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,917
Excuse me, Helen, right?
286
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,542
Helen, honey, you
should cut down
287
00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:45,542
on the deep-fried feta puffs.
288
00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:46,792
Trust me on this.
289
00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:48,125
I don't eat any junk food.
290
00:12:48,208 --> 00:12:50,625
It wreaks havoc
on my complexion.
291
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,542
No! No!
292
00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:56,041
Not... not feta puffs!
293
00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,208
No!
294
00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:07,625
Poor, Helen. The face that
launched a thousand zits. Ha.
295
00:13:07,709 --> 00:13:08,792
All right, who's next?
296
00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:13,166
Adonis... The peppered
Prince of Thrace.
297
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,750
Adonis? Prince
Adonis? You here, babe?
298
00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:16,917
Present.
299
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,240
Ready for your eternal torment?
300
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,417
I have a servant
301
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,208
to serve my eternal
punishment for me.
302
00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:23,959
Oh, really, new wrinkle, babe.
303
00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:28,041
So... you'll spend
eternity serving him!
304
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:31,625
Yes. And let's start
with the foot massage.
305
00:13:31,709 --> 00:13:33,208
It's so relaxing.
306
00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:34,891
Right in there between
the toes. Come on!
307
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,709
Casandra... Home
greconomics hater.
308
00:13:40,792 --> 00:13:43,917
♪ Wash the floors
and dishes clean ♪
309
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,917
♪ Pit the dates
and do the laundry ♪
310
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,959
♪ Live a happy, snappy life ♪
311
00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:53,166
♪ Bein' a housewife ♪
312
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,125
Oh, he's good.
313
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:59,709
Icarus... Uh, he's weird.
314
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:05,291
No! No! Anything but gym!
315
00:14:05,375 --> 00:14:07,333
I hate gym!
316
00:14:07,417 --> 00:14:08,458
Please!
317
00:14:08,542 --> 00:14:09,583
All right.
318
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:11,750
How about an eternity spent
319
00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:13,333
punching out your best buddy?
320
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,542
Nice, huh?
321
00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,667
Come and get me, sissy face.
322
00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,542
Hyah, you want a piece of me?
323
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,667
Ooh! Ooh! You swine! Hyah! Hyah!
324
00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,458
Teach you to call
my dad useless!
325
00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:26,208
Get up! Get up!
326
00:14:26,291 --> 00:14:28,375
All right, all right.
Time-out. Time-out.
327
00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:31,125
This isn't supposed to be fun.
328
00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:32,792
Hey, this isn't fair.
329
00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:35,417
This isn't the real
Hercules. Ooh!
330
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,291
Oh, no, we have a
slightly different torment
331
00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:42,083
prepared for him. Hee hee.
332
00:14:42,166 --> 00:14:44,875
And finally Hercules... Klutz.
333
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,542
No, please, I can't
do shop class.
334
00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:51,041
You can't do shop class?
335
00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:54,166
Well, guess what.
I know that. Hee.
336
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,810
Hey, don't fret,
Herc, I got you paired
337
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:58,500
with the best possible
teacher. You'll love it.
338
00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:01,750
Very clever, Hades.
339
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,333
Your punishment is him
340
00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:05,417
and his punishment is you.
341
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,417
Mmm, sweet. Ha ha.
342
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:08,726
Well, love to stay, but I've got
343
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:10,226
the orphanage and
nursing home to torment
344
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,792
and then I gotta
do lunch. Ha ha.
345
00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:14,125
Ciao, baby.
346
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,041
I have an assignment for you.
347
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,542
I know, I know,
something simple.
348
00:15:20,625 --> 00:15:22,542
Something even a
klutz like me can handle.
349
00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:24,208
Let's review the lever again.
350
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,917
No. It is a very
special assignment.
351
00:15:27,041 --> 00:15:30,709
You might say it is a
breakout opportunity.
352
00:15:30,792 --> 00:15:31,667
Take your time.
353
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:34,333
- Escape?
- Yes! Save your school.
354
00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:36,000
Save all of Greece!
355
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:39,750
And, hero, you will be graded.
356
00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:41,750
Yes, sir! But how?
357
00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:44,500
The school district favors
a standard bell curve. I...
358
00:15:44,583 --> 00:15:45,623
No. I mean how do I escape
359
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,041
the forces of the underworld?
360
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:50,500
I prepared this war-wagon
361
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:51,917
for just such an emergency.
362
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:52,917
Turn the crank.
363
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,250
Power the internal mainspring.
364
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:58,208
Smash our way out of
this eternal detention!
365
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,000
Wow!
366
00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:04,083
Teacher and student,
we shall be liberated!
367
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,917
97... 98... 99...
368
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,041
Man, how many times do
you have to crank this thing?
369
00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:09,208
Three cranks will suffice.
370
00:16:09,291 --> 00:16:10,166
Uh-oh.
371
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:11,542
Whoa!
372
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:16,125
That's gonna affect your grade.
373
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:20,625
Whoa!
374
00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:21,750
Aah!
375
00:16:24,291 --> 00:16:25,625
Whoa!
376
00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:39,625
All right.
377
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:40,917
Athena's temple.
378
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,834
She's wise. She can help us.
379
00:16:42,917 --> 00:16:45,083
You and me. Right now!
380
00:16:45,166 --> 00:16:47,000
Ya take back the stuff about dad
381
00:16:47,083 --> 00:16:49,875
or we're going mano-a-mano.
382
00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:51,250
Uh, can we talk about this
383
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:54,291
after we save Greece
from eternal doom? Please.
384
00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:56,041
It's OK. I'll take a rain check.
385
00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:00,375
Oh, great goddess of wisdom,
386
00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:02,041
we summon your aid.
387
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,291
Uh, Herc?
388
00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:10,000
Actually, I was just
about to summon your aid.
389
00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:20,625
The magic chains are
are courtesy of Hades.
390
00:17:20,709 --> 00:17:24,667
You see, Hercules,
somebody made a foolish deal
391
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,333
to seize control of Athens.
392
00:17:26,417 --> 00:17:28,083
Poseidopolis.
393
00:17:28,166 --> 00:17:31,667
And you trusted the bloomin'
lord of the underworld!
394
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,583
But he's my bro-bro.
We shook on it.
395
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:38,000
Oh! You, Hercules.
396
00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:40,583
You must reroute the river.
397
00:17:40,667 --> 00:17:42,250
Me? How?
398
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:43,333
Give him the trident.
399
00:17:43,417 --> 00:17:45,250
Trident? What trident?
400
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,667
Oh, my trident!
401
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:50,500
Oh, no! No! Never!
He's just a tadpole!
402
00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:51,917
It's either that
403
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,583
or stay chained next
to me for all eternity.
404
00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:57,166
It's behind the tapestry.
405
00:17:59,417 --> 00:18:01,792
Oh, awesome.
406
00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:03,417
Come on, Icarus.
407
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,500
As long as we are captured,
408
00:18:05,583 --> 00:18:07,583
care to play 20 questions?
409
00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:10,792
Uh, I'm thinking of a vegetable.
410
00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:11,959
Rutabaga.
411
00:18:12,041 --> 00:18:13,709
I hate you.
412
00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:15,393
You realize if you didn't
have to save the world,
413
00:18:15,417 --> 00:18:18,125
I'd be kicking
your butt right now.
414
00:18:18,208 --> 00:18:19,500
Yeah, right.
415
00:18:20,959 --> 00:18:24,667
Goddess of the river
Styx, I am Hercules.
416
00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:28,333
Uh, hi.
417
00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:31,792
By the powers of
Poseidon, Lord of the waters,
418
00:18:31,917 --> 00:18:33,792
whose trident
I'm... I'm borrowing.
419
00:18:33,917 --> 00:18:35,500
He said... he said it was OK.
420
00:18:35,583 --> 00:18:37,208
I command you to move.
421
00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:41,417
Strike the trident!
422
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,000
Huh? Oh.
423
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,166
Whoa! Hey! Hey! What's the...
424
00:18:49,458 --> 00:18:50,834
Hail!
425
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:53,792
Ow! Ow! Come on!
426
00:18:54,417 --> 00:18:55,709
Steam?
427
00:18:55,792 --> 00:18:57,250
No, no, no, wait,
wait, come back!
428
00:18:58,458 --> 00:18:59,917
Ice? Oh!
429
00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:03,917
Divert!
430
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,583
OK, who wants trident?
431
00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:07,792
I do. I do. Ha ha.
432
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:10,041
Didn't you read the
fine print on this?
433
00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:13,375
For ages immortal and up. Ha ha.
434
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:22,291
Look at this. Wash his
troubles down the drain.
435
00:19:23,542 --> 00:19:25,375
You're not gettin'
away that easy.
436
00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:27,625
I have a rain check!
437
00:19:30,041 --> 00:19:31,917
Of course, I can't
actually swim.
438
00:19:32,041 --> 00:19:33,500
By the power of the trident,
439
00:19:33,834 --> 00:19:36,875
I declare myself
lord of the waters,
440
00:19:36,959 --> 00:19:40,458
and hereby annex
Poseidon's realm!
441
00:19:40,542 --> 00:19:43,125
I am having way too much fun.
442
00:19:43,208 --> 00:19:45,041
I gotta go gloat. Ha.
443
00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:47,125
Where's Poseidon? Po-Po?
444
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:53,792
You saved us!
445
00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:55,792
But... but now what?
446
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:57,041
Without the trident,
447
00:19:57,125 --> 00:19:59,792
I'll have to move a
mountain to divert that river.
448
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,750
It's too heavy.
449
00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:07,041
I can't lift it.
450
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:09,625
Puh-lease. The
answer's so obvious.
451
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,542
What? What is it?
452
00:20:11,625 --> 00:20:12,792
No, I'm not telling you.
453
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,291
Icarus, I'm sorry
for what I said
454
00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:15,750
about your dad's inventions.
455
00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:17,834
I'm sorry for what I said
about your dad's class.
456
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:18,750
Does that cover it?
457
00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:20,834
How sorry? Really,
really, really sorry.
458
00:20:20,917 --> 00:20:21,917
Now what is it?
459
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,500
But you don't sound sorry.
460
00:20:23,583 --> 00:20:25,542
Oh, Icarus, come on!
461
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:29,875
It is sublimely
simple. Say it with me.
462
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:31,583
The lever!
463
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,166
I have gone through much travail
464
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:35,458
to see my student in action.
465
00:20:35,542 --> 00:20:37,417
My shop student.
466
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:41,542
Hey, it's supposed
to be a turtle torment.
467
00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:44,792
Yeah, you just can't walk out.
468
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:51,125
Proceed, shop student.
469
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:52,041
Yes, sir!
470
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,375
That's what I like to see.
471
00:20:53,458 --> 00:20:55,417
Fences mended. Bridges built.
472
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,458
And a lever crafted out
of available materials.
473
00:20:57,542 --> 00:20:59,166
Can do!
474
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,625
Ahh, the fulcrum.
475
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,917
There you go,
Buddy. Put 'er down.
476
00:21:05,166 --> 00:21:06,375
What now?
477
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:10,500
Oh, that's right,
it's the lever.
478
00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:14,917
Oh, and the place to stand.
There you go. Look at this kid!
479
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,417
Sublimely simple.
480
00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:30,792
Oh, yes, that's right.
481
00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:33,208
Make those dishes shine!
482
00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:35,583
That's the way to get a man.
483
00:21:36,417 --> 00:21:38,125
Oh, dear!
484
00:21:38,208 --> 00:21:39,667
Thank you.
485
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:41,667
Hey, Poseidon, you've
just lost your domain,
486
00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:44,750
your trident, and hey, a battle
of wits with your baby brother.
487
00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:46,792
So, what are you
gonna do next, huh?
488
00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:49,625
Whoops.
489
00:21:49,667 --> 00:21:51,291
OK, a little snag in the, uh,
490
00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:54,083
take-over-the-big-brother's-domain
plan.
491
00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:56,000
So, hey, easy come, easy go.
492
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:57,083
Bada boom, bada bing.
493
00:21:57,125 --> 00:21:58,165
It's just business, right?
494
00:21:58,208 --> 00:21:59,458
No hard feelings.
495
00:21:59,542 --> 00:22:01,667
Uh, I mean, come on,
496
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,750
blood's thicker than
water, am I right, Po-Po?
497
00:22:03,834 --> 00:22:05,685
Babe, come on, huh, you'd
know this, wouldn't you?
498
00:22:05,709 --> 00:22:07,083
Ooo! Ow! Po-Po!
499
00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:08,959
Watch the hair! Watch the hair!
500
00:22:10,709 --> 00:22:12,542
Once again, Hercules saved
501
00:22:12,625 --> 00:22:14,834
the city-state of Athens
502
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:18,625
and he passed
shop class... Barely.
34194
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