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1
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♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
2
00:00:10,625 --> 00:00:11,959
♪ Hercules ♪
3
00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,458
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
4
00:00:14,542 --> 00:00:16,333
♪ Hercules ♪
5
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,333
♪ Is he bold? ♪
6
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:18,417
♪ No one braver ♪
7
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,375
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
8
00:00:19,458 --> 00:00:21,834
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
9
00:00:21,917 --> 00:00:23,917
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
10
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,750
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
11
00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:26,750
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
12
00:00:26,834 --> 00:00:28,834
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
13
00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:31,959
♪ Hercules ♪
14
00:00:32,041 --> 00:00:33,321
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
15
00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:35,166
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
16
00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:36,625
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
17
00:00:36,709 --> 00:00:37,625
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
18
00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:38,875
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
19
00:00:38,959 --> 00:00:40,750
♪ No complainin' ♪
20
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:41,917
♪ He was a no one ♪
21
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,583
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
22
00:00:43,667 --> 00:00:44,792
♪ He's our hero ♪
23
00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:47,959
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
24
00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:50,208
♪ From zero to hero ♪
25
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,417
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
26
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:57,500
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
27
00:00:57,583 --> 00:00:59,291
Wait and see!
28
00:01:07,083 --> 00:01:09,500
Athens, birth
place of democracy,
29
00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:12,041
for it was in this
ancient city-state
30
00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:14,792
that citizens came
together to forge their future,
31
00:01:15,417 --> 00:01:19,166
and the leader they chose
was a man named Pericles...
32
00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:22,083
Wise, just, and
beloved, for it was he...
33
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:24,208
Oh, just spit it out!
34
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:27,375
I am painting a
picture with words.
35
00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:30,625
Mm-hmm. Well, honey,
let's put your words to music
36
00:01:30,709 --> 00:01:32,250
and make it a masterpiece.
37
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:35,458
Well, I'm no muse,
but give me a beat.
38
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:39,542
♪ He's Pericles ♪
39
00:01:39,625 --> 00:01:40,959
♪ Of Athens ♪
40
00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:43,000
♪ A city planner ♪
41
00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:44,959
♪ Beyond belief ♪
42
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,125
♪ The man ♪
43
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,417
♪ Who makes things happen ♪
44
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,250
♪ The top banana ♪
45
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:52,834
♪ All hail the chief ♪
46
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:57,875
♪ An icon Of
professional proficiency ♪
47
00:01:57,959 --> 00:02:01,959
♪ He's able to
untangle any jam ♪
48
00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:05,583
♪ A model Of
unparalleled efficiency ♪
49
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,417
♪ If you want to
get things done ♪
50
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,250
♪ Then he's your best main man ♪
51
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:11,250
Yeah!
52
00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:15,750
♪ He's Pericles, the leader ♪
53
00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:17,750
♪ A man of vision ♪
54
00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:20,625
♪ Beyond compare ♪
55
00:02:20,709 --> 00:02:24,750
♪ All hail Pericles
of Athens, Greece ♪
56
00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:27,000
♪ The big kahuna ♪
57
00:02:27,083 --> 00:02:29,375
♪ Extraordinaire ♪
58
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:33,125
OK. Next question.
59
00:02:33,208 --> 00:02:36,500
Uh, over here, sir!
Sir, the name's Bartlett.
60
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:38,291
I'm with the Greekly World News.
61
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,709
Do you have a new
economic policy?
62
00:02:41,709 --> 00:02:43,542
The Athenian economy is booming,
63
00:02:43,625 --> 00:02:47,208
so I say if it's not
broke, why fix it?
64
00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:49,291
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
65
00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:52,000
Folksy. That's
the kind of wisdom
66
00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:54,083
that's gonna be
around for centuries.
67
00:02:54,166 --> 00:02:57,500
Seems to me you shouldn't
switch horses in midstream.
68
00:02:57,583 --> 00:03:01,041
Oh, where does he
come up with these?
69
00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:08,291
I smell a rat.
70
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,834
Bow! Hit the ground!
71
00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:17,959
Ohhh... I feel like I have
one foot in the grave
72
00:03:18,041 --> 00:03:19,625
and the other on a banana peel.
73
00:03:19,709 --> 00:03:22,458
Another good one,
sir. Very folksy.
74
00:03:22,542 --> 00:03:25,208
Prepare to eat bronze, punk.
75
00:03:30,917 --> 00:03:32,041
Minister Cleon.
76
00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:35,000
A bloodthirsty rat is
loose in the building.
77
00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:37,333
A man just went out the window
78
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,500
and escaped on a chariot.
79
00:03:39,583 --> 00:03:41,250
How would you describe him?
80
00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:42,792
Bloodthirsty.
81
00:03:42,875 --> 00:03:46,709
I could see it in
his rat-like eyes.
82
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:49,709
That's him. Blast
it. He got away.
83
00:03:49,792 --> 00:03:54,250
I will not rest until that
maggot is behind bars.
84
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:57,250
City-state trouper Chipacles,
85
00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:59,667
you are a credit to the force.
86
00:04:06,750 --> 00:04:07,750
Wow!
87
00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:09,583
Who is she?
88
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:12,667
That's Tempest.
Handle with care.
89
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:14,250
W... Wh... What do you mean?
90
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:15,709
Forget about her.
91
00:04:15,792 --> 00:04:18,125
You're saying I
don't have a shot?
92
00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:22,291
She an Amazon... quick-tempered,
antisocial, and prone to violence.
93
00:04:22,375 --> 00:04:24,166
Do the math, Archimedes.
94
00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:26,583
Well, maybe she's just never met
95
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,792
a hero-in-training before.
96
00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:31,083
No! Ohhh... ohhh!
97
00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:32,667
Oomp!
98
00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:37,083
You ruined my concentration.
99
00:04:37,166 --> 00:04:39,500
Oh, sorry, temptress...
uh, Tempest!
100
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,291
I'm... I'm, uh... I'm Hercules.
101
00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:47,500
Disappointing.
102
00:04:47,583 --> 00:04:49,500
I... pulled it a bit.
103
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:50,959
You look OK to me.
104
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,250
I... I mean, it looked OK to me.
105
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:56,291
Such failure is unacceptable
under combat conditions.
106
00:04:56,375 --> 00:04:58,875
I know an Amazon who made
that mistake and paid the price.
107
00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:01,125
Ooh. What happened?
108
00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:02,959
She lost her left buttock.
109
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:05,333
Ooh. Pays to practice, I guess.
110
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:08,184
Hey, don't move.
I'll... I'll be right back.
111
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,208
Let's practice together.
I... I've got my junior javelin.
112
00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:13,583
That... Is a child's toy.
113
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:15,959
No way! T... This
is a training weapon.
114
00:05:16,041 --> 00:05:17,375
You see, I'm... ahem...
115
00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:19,083
I'm a hero-in-training.
116
00:05:19,166 --> 00:05:21,250
Toy. Child.
117
00:05:23,166 --> 00:05:25,000
Allow me.
118
00:05:26,083 --> 00:05:27,250
Oooaouhh!
119
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,125
Know this, hero-in-training...
I am a warrior!
120
00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:33,166
The only way anyone
takes my spear
121
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,208
is point first through
their lifeless torso.
122
00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:38,667
Yeah. Hands off
the spears. Got it.
123
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:43,875
OK, kid! Target practice time!
124
00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:45,750
Phil... I've been thinking.
125
00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:48,291
That's a child's weapon.
126
00:05:48,375 --> 00:05:50,959
I'm ready for... Spear training.
127
00:05:51,041 --> 00:05:54,792
Whoa, kid. Hero rule number 33,
128
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:57,250
you gotta crawl
before you can walk.
129
00:05:57,333 --> 00:06:00,458
Babies crawl, Phil. I'm
a... I'm a... I'm a warrior.
130
00:06:00,917 --> 00:06:02,417
Ha ha ha!
131
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:04,709
OK, sure. Hey, have it your way.
132
00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:07,125
"Warrior" rule number 33...
133
00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:08,875
Stick with the junior javelin.
134
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,083
Oh, d...
135
00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:26,458
Hey. Don't worry, Pegasus.
136
00:06:26,542 --> 00:06:28,208
I'll bring it back as
soon as I'm done.
137
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:35,458
How was your day, dear?
Did you usurp the government?
138
00:06:36,709 --> 00:06:38,667
No, I did not!
139
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:41,542
I failed miserably.
140
00:06:41,625 --> 00:06:43,333
Ooh, this could be awkward.
141
00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:46,083
Your, uh, "boss"
popped by for dinner.
142
00:06:46,166 --> 00:06:47,500
Pericles?
143
00:06:47,583 --> 00:06:48,667
Here?
144
00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:50,667
No, silly. Your real boss.
145
00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:54,208
Aah! Ares!
146
00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:56,792
O mighty God of War
147
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:59,083
and overlord of Sparta...
148
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:03,917
Honey, bow before Ares!
149
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,375
Oh, I'd love to, but that
mutton isn't going to roast itself.
150
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:10,875
Oh! Don't forget my favorite,
the stuffed grape leaves.
151
00:07:10,959 --> 00:07:13,959
I've gotta get that
recipe. Anyway. Cleon!
152
00:07:14,583 --> 00:07:17,083
The plan was so
simple. You kill Pericles.
153
00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:18,542
My Spartan army invades Athens.
154
00:07:18,625 --> 00:07:20,625
I appoint you the
new leader of Athens.
155
00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:24,667
Which we agreed to
rename Cleonopolis.
156
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:28,250
What? I want Athens.
157
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:29,709
Ares?
158
00:07:29,792 --> 00:07:31,041
Gotta go.
159
00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:34,250
Athena!
160
00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:35,375
Hi, sis!
161
00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:38,959
Were you meddling in
Athenian affairs again?
162
00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:43,375
Please. Give me a break.
163
00:07:43,417 --> 00:07:46,500
Like I care about
your stupid city-state.
164
00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:49,542
Yo! Tempest!
165
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,250
Ha ha... ooh! Ahh!
166
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,208
Ha ha. Ow.
167
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:56,166
Hmm. Yours?
168
00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:58,083
Well, as a matter of fact...
169
00:07:58,166 --> 00:08:00,583
40 millimeter
Carthaginian bronze tip.
170
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:03,208
Slices through
cartilage like it's humus.
171
00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:04,625
Nice.
172
00:08:05,542 --> 00:08:08,625
Yeah, and the, uh,
handle is, uh... Wood.
173
00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:12,000
Ooh! I... ahh... Prove yourself.
174
00:08:13,291 --> 00:08:14,875
You... You mean
a... actually throw it?
175
00:08:14,959 --> 00:08:17,917
Just as I thought. Child!
176
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,208
Am not!
177
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:26,250
Aah!
178
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,750
Children should
stick to their toys.
179
00:08:32,834 --> 00:08:36,000
Ohhh... Any more questions?
180
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,083
Are you planning to cancel
any upcoming activities
181
00:08:38,166 --> 00:08:40,250
in light of the recent
attempt on your life?
182
00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:44,125
If that assassin thinks he can
scare this humble civil servant,
183
00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:48,125
well, let's just say it's not
the size of the dog in the fight,
184
00:08:48,208 --> 00:08:50,375
It's the size of the
fight in the dog.
185
00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:51,542
Ah!
186
00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:53,458
Is that on the record?
187
00:08:53,542 --> 00:08:56,125
Yes, Bartlett. You
can quote me on that.
188
00:08:56,875 --> 00:08:58,208
Spear!
189
00:08:58,291 --> 00:09:01,291
Oh, great. I had
him in my sights.
190
00:09:04,750 --> 00:09:05,750
Bingo.
191
00:09:05,792 --> 00:09:08,250
"Property of Phil's Gym."
192
00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:09,583
Phil.
193
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:11,834
Phil.
194
00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:12,917
Aah!
195
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,083
Philoctetes!
196
00:09:17,542 --> 00:09:20,542
Rise and shine, Mr. Phil.
197
00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:23,750
Uhh! Wha... You're under arrest.
198
00:09:24,458 --> 00:09:25,667
You got the wrong satyr!
199
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,750
Tell it to the judge, goat man.
200
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,500
What's goin' on? Why
are you arresting Phil?
201
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:33,000
This lawn-chomping
degenerate's the perp.
202
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:35,875
- The perp?
- Perpetrator. The assassin.
203
00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:39,000
The scum who
tried to kill Pericles.
204
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:41,500
You are one deluded flatfoot.
205
00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:44,375
Am I, smart guy?
Maybe I just imagined
206
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:47,667
that our beloved leader
almost got ventilated with this.
207
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:51,542
Come on! There must be
thousands of spears like that.
208
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:55,041
40 millimeter with a little
carthaginian tip chaser?
209
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:57,083
All right. Hundreds.
210
00:09:57,166 --> 00:09:58,583
"Property of Phil's Gym"?
211
00:09:58,667 --> 00:10:00,792
Hey, that's mine!
212
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:02,875
Aha! A confession.
213
00:10:02,959 --> 00:10:05,083
This case is wrapping
up nice and neat.
214
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:06,542
No! I meant...
215
00:10:06,625 --> 00:10:08,834
Wait. You've got it all wrong!
216
00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:11,208
Clam up, junior,
before I run you in
217
00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:13,417
as an accessory to the crime.
218
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,291
You don't understand!
219
00:10:15,375 --> 00:10:16,792
I'm not the accessory!
220
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:19,375
I'm the perp.
221
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:30,208
The would-be assassin has
been identified as one Philoctetes,
222
00:10:30,291 --> 00:10:32,083
AKA... "Phil."
223
00:10:32,166 --> 00:10:34,917
I think this mug
shot tells the tale.
224
00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:37,583
Ahh.
225
00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:41,375
Neighbors describe the
suspect as a grass-eating loner.
226
00:10:41,458 --> 00:10:42,792
- Aah!
- Ooh!
227
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:45,542
Sorry. Only
Mr. Philoctetes' lawyer.
228
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,250
Is permitted to see him.
229
00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:50,458
Ah. Well, the fact of the
matter is, my good man,
230
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:52,542
that I am
Mr. Philoctetes' lawyer,
231
00:10:52,625 --> 00:10:55,333
and this is my
lovely co-counsel.
232
00:10:55,417 --> 00:10:56,500
Yii!
233
00:10:58,375 --> 00:11:00,291
You're a lawyer?
234
00:11:00,375 --> 00:11:03,792
But of course! I've handled
many high-profile cases,
235
00:11:03,875 --> 00:11:04,750
like, uh...
236
00:11:04,834 --> 00:11:07,542
Your Deluded Mind
VS. The State Of Reality?
237
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,625
Right! Big one!
238
00:11:09,709 --> 00:11:11,500
Landmark!
239
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:14,083
The appeal is still pending.
240
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,083
You gotta get me outta here.
241
00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:17,417
I'm half wild goat.
242
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,625
We don't do so hot in captivity!
243
00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:21,834
Don't get your fur in a bunch.
244
00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:24,834
Hercules is gonna
straighten out the whole thing.
245
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:27,667
So the spear just
slipped outta your hands...
246
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:30,625
Oops... and flies halfway
across the city-state?
247
00:11:30,709 --> 00:11:31,959
Yeah.
248
00:11:32,041 --> 00:11:35,875
My friend, that would
be one magic spear.
249
00:11:35,959 --> 00:11:39,208
Uh, well, actually, it's
more me than the spear.
250
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:41,583
So you'll drop the
charges against Phil?
251
00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:44,875
And stay out.
252
00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:49,291
You spend far too much
of your time on the ground.
253
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,959
Tempest. What
are you doing here?
254
00:11:52,041 --> 00:11:53,917
I heard about your goat master.
255
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,500
And you feel bad?
256
00:11:55,583 --> 00:11:57,583
I feel nothing!
257
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,583
Warriors have no
use for emotions.
258
00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:04,458
But my code of honor states
that I must set this injustice right.
259
00:12:04,542 --> 00:12:05,875
Where you goin'?
260
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,458
To catch the real assassin.
261
00:12:07,542 --> 00:12:10,834
The hunter shall
become the hunted.
262
00:12:10,917 --> 00:12:12,667
All right! Well, count me in.
263
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:22,333
All clear.
264
00:12:32,542 --> 00:12:35,375
Be alert for
anything suspicious.
265
00:12:35,458 --> 00:12:37,458
Keep your eyes open.
266
00:12:37,542 --> 00:12:40,625
Yeah. No problem. I...
And your mouth shut!
267
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,208
How am I supposed
to get at Pericles now?
268
00:12:57,500 --> 00:13:00,333
Does this answer your question?
269
00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:02,959
Ooh! What kind of
mileage does this thing get?
270
00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:06,667
Will you just get out there?
271
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,917
Knock 'em dead. And
I mean that... literally!
272
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,834
Ha ha ha ha ha!
273
00:13:16,917 --> 00:13:18,625
And I'd like to point
out, Your Honor,
274
00:13:18,709 --> 00:13:20,667
that the evidence
against my client
275
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:23,959
is largely circumstantial.
276
00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,333
Not bad.
277
00:13:25,458 --> 00:13:27,000
Not yet.
278
00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:32,083
No sign of suspicious activity.
279
00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:40,667
Except for that.
280
00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:50,375
Sniff upholstery, sir.
281
00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,500
Go!
282
00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:07,458
I think I've made
my case crystal clear,
283
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:10,792
Your Honor. Res ipse loquitor.
284
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:12,917
Habeas corpus.
285
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,917
What is that gibberish?
286
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:19,375
Latin... the word spoken
on the street, Baby.
287
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:23,041
Guilty! The goat man
goes back to lockup.
288
00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:25,125
Back... to lockup?
289
00:14:25,208 --> 00:14:27,875
Now it's official.
You're doomed.
290
00:14:27,959 --> 00:14:29,875
They can't pin this rap on me!
291
00:14:29,959 --> 00:14:31,166
Yaahh! Uhh!
292
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,458
Eeeyyyeee! Euuhhh!
293
00:14:33,542 --> 00:14:35,000
Oooohhh!
294
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,291
Eeeyeeee!
295
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,500
Beuuhhhh!
296
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:43,417
Yaaahhh!
297
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,458
Bluuuhhhh!
298
00:14:45,542 --> 00:14:47,375
- Grrrr!
- OK, as your attorney,
299
00:14:47,458 --> 00:14:50,625
I must advise
against this behavior.
300
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:52,583
Euhh! Euhh! Euhh!
301
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:53,917
Eeeyeee eeeyeee! Eeeyeee!
302
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,250
Huh?
303
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:30,750
Where you goin'?
304
00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:31,834
Shortcut.
305
00:15:38,709 --> 00:15:40,333
- Aah!
- Aah!
306
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:45,709
C... Comin' through! I'm sorry.
307
00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:56,208
Aah!
308
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:19,792
Watch this!
309
00:16:37,625 --> 00:16:39,917
You fool! You... ohh!
310
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,417
Stand still while I berate you!
311
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:45,625
Pericles, sir, that attack
happened while Phil was locked up!
312
00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:47,125
That proves he's innocent.
313
00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:49,792
Hmm. The proof
is in the pudding.
314
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,500
Phil is an upright,
law-abiding citizen.
315
00:16:52,583 --> 00:16:54,125
He wouldn't hurt a fly.
316
00:16:54,208 --> 00:16:56,208
Yaaahhh!
317
00:16:56,291 --> 00:16:58,542
Who wants some of this?
318
00:16:58,625 --> 00:17:00,542
You're goin' down, punk.
319
00:17:01,875 --> 00:17:04,208
Fool me once, shame on you.
320
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:06,959
Fool me twice, shame on me.
321
00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:09,250
Uh... I'm not sure I follow.
322
00:17:10,583 --> 00:17:14,333
Translation...
Execution at dawn.
323
00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:28,375
Philoctetes, you
have been found guilty
324
00:17:28,458 --> 00:17:30,834
of the attempted assassination
325
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:34,000
of our beloved Pericles.
326
00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:36,208
Icarus and Cassandra,
327
00:17:36,291 --> 00:17:40,041
you have been found
guilty of aiding and abetting
328
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:44,875
the attempted assassination
of our beloved Pericles.
329
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,917
Any last requests?
330
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,959
Yes. I request the opportunity
331
00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:54,041
to recite a love poem I wrote
for my Sweet Cassandra.
332
00:17:54,166 --> 00:17:57,417
Ahem. I request you
gag him immediately.
333
00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:59,792
Your gallows humor.
334
00:17:59,917 --> 00:18:01,875
So apropos to this moment.
335
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,875
I'm not sure what to
say to such criminals
336
00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:10,250
except if you play with fire,
you're gonna get burned.
337
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:15,083
Bravo!
338
00:18:15,166 --> 00:18:16,583
Kid!
339
00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:26,375
I knew I should've run you in.
340
00:18:28,458 --> 00:18:30,375
Chipacles, you... you
have to believe me!
341
00:18:30,458 --> 00:18:32,166
Phil isn't the real assassin.
342
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:35,208
Spare me the fairy tale, punk.
343
00:18:39,375 --> 00:18:41,625
That boy's madder
than a 2-stingered wasp.
344
00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:44,041
What does that even mean?
345
00:18:44,125 --> 00:18:46,542
Careful. You could've
hurt me with that.
346
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,542
Well, that's the idea.
347
00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:51,417
Pericles!
348
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:57,041
If I were you, I'd be
as nervous as Medusa
349
00:18:57,125 --> 00:18:59,875
in a hall of mirrors.
350
00:18:59,959 --> 00:19:02,375
That one just
doesn't feel timeless.
351
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,291
Ahh, still pulled it a bit.
352
00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:09,041
Great Ares, God of War!
353
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:10,917
Help me!
354
00:19:11,792 --> 00:19:13,542
Oh, what now?
355
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:17,291
You're so good at treason,
but so bad at murder.
356
00:19:17,959 --> 00:19:19,291
Cleon?
357
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:21,041
The real assassin.
358
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:24,333
OK.
359
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:39,500
Ooh, nice!
360
00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:40,875
Thank you.
361
00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:42,959
Look, wreak havoc.
362
00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:44,625
That'll be thanks enough.
363
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,333
Tuck and roll, sir.
364
00:19:57,583 --> 00:20:00,583
Cleon, I'm going to have
to ask you to surrender now.
365
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,667
Hmm. Uh, well... No.
366
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,542
Uhh... uhh!
367
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,333
What is so
fascinating that you...
368
00:20:15,709 --> 00:20:18,917
So you are meddling
in Athenian affairs!
369
00:20:19,041 --> 00:20:20,375
Do you mind?
370
00:20:20,458 --> 00:20:21,959
The fight's just getting good.
371
00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:25,000
Hercules!
372
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:26,667
Uhh! Uhh!
373
00:20:28,959 --> 00:20:32,709
Choose any weapon,
and it shall be yours.
374
00:20:32,792 --> 00:20:34,125
Who's that?
375
00:20:34,208 --> 00:20:36,375
A spear! Be a warrior!
376
00:20:36,458 --> 00:20:37,959
Oh! A pen!
377
00:20:38,041 --> 00:20:41,125
The pen is mightier
than the sword.
378
00:20:41,208 --> 00:20:42,542
Ehh ehh ehh!
379
00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:44,875
Hey! I like that one.
380
00:20:44,959 --> 00:20:48,041
Kid, remember
hero rule number 33!
381
00:20:48,125 --> 00:20:52,375
Right. I'll take...
A junior javelin.
382
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:03,041
Ho ho! He's got to
be kidding! Ho ho ho!
383
00:21:03,125 --> 00:21:06,875
The kid's makin' this too easy!
384
00:21:06,959 --> 00:21:08,458
Hoo hoo hoo!
385
00:21:16,417 --> 00:21:17,917
Yaahhh!
386
00:21:22,417 --> 00:21:24,166
You missed!
387
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,917
No, I didn't.
388
00:21:26,667 --> 00:21:31,333
Whoa! Oooff! Ohhh... Aah! Ooh!
389
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,959
- Hooray!
- Hooray!
390
00:21:36,041 --> 00:21:37,542
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
391
00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:40,208
Yes! Athens is number one.
392
00:21:40,291 --> 00:21:42,625
♪ Athens is number one ♪
393
00:21:42,709 --> 00:21:45,041
Oh, put a sock in it.
394
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,083
Ya did it, kid!
395
00:21:48,166 --> 00:21:50,542
This is an Amazon spear.
396
00:21:50,667 --> 00:21:53,750
Only the bravest
warriors may touch it.
397
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:56,291
Today you've earned that right.
398
00:21:58,041 --> 00:21:59,917
Uh, no, thanks.
399
00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:02,250
I have to crawl
before I can walk.
400
00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:04,625
That's hero rule number 33.
401
00:22:04,709 --> 00:22:07,125
Hey, uh, you want
to get some lunch?
402
00:22:07,208 --> 00:22:08,667
My treat.
403
00:22:08,750 --> 00:22:13,000
I eat only the meat I hunt
and kill with my bare hands.
404
00:22:13,417 --> 00:22:14,834
Yeah.
405
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,166
Well, we can go dutch.
27431
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