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DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV
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[low, thrumming rumbling]
3
00:00:15,781 --> 00:00:17,781
[high-pitched tone]
4
00:00:20,861 --> 00:00:22,861
[ethereal music plays, fades]
5
00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:28,421
- [gentle string music playing]
- [pruning shears click]
6
00:00:40,661 --> 00:00:42,620
[grunts, sighs]
7
00:00:42,621 --> 00:00:43,821
[phone ringing]
8
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,181
[phone ringing]
9
00:00:54,981 --> 00:00:56,301
[phone ringing continues]
10
00:01:02,781 --> 00:01:03,860
Hello.
11
00:01:03,861 --> 00:01:06,701
[man] Hello. Am I speaking
to Mr. Philip Connarthy?
12
00:01:07,221 --> 00:01:08,901
It's pronounced "Connarty."
13
00:01:09,701 --> 00:01:13,381
Apologies. I'm calling on behalf
of a Miss Kelly Royce.
14
00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:15,700
I don't know a Kelly Royce.
15
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:19,380
Absolutely, but this regards
Miss Royce's mother, Carol Royce.
16
00:01:19,381 --> 00:01:21,621
I don't know a Carol Royce either.
17
00:01:22,141 --> 00:01:24,901
Her maiden name was Hartman.
Carol Hartman.
18
00:01:29,301 --> 00:01:30,741
Yeah, I know the name.
19
00:01:31,581 --> 00:01:32,581
Um...
20
00:01:35,141 --> 00:01:37,741
I knew her.
Uh, sorry, why are you calling?
21
00:01:38,381 --> 00:01:40,981
I'm afraid she passed away last Wednesday.
22
00:01:42,181 --> 00:01:43,901
Her daughter wanted you to know.
23
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:52,901
Hello?
24
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,980
- Tell her I'm sorry for her loss. Uh...
- Of course.
25
00:01:56,981 --> 00:01:58,541
Thank you for letting me know.
26
00:01:59,061 --> 00:02:02,421
There will, of course, be a funeral.
In London. In England.
27
00:02:03,341 --> 00:02:04,421
In England.
28
00:02:06,701 --> 00:02:08,821
No, um, I can't. Uh...
29
00:02:09,341 --> 00:02:10,700
No, that's understood.
30
00:02:10,701 --> 00:02:14,541
I'm not calling about attendance.
I'm from a company called Eulogy.
31
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,660
Eulogy, okay.
32
00:02:16,661 --> 00:02:19,861
We're helping the family curate
an immersive memorial.
33
00:02:20,661 --> 00:02:22,220
Immersive memorial. Mm-hmm.
34
00:02:22,221 --> 00:02:24,860
We've been contacting names
in her mother's old papers,
35
00:02:24,861 --> 00:02:26,500
which is where you were listed.
36
00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:29,580
Locating people who knew Carol
in her youth has been challenging.
37
00:02:29,581 --> 00:02:33,140
If you could contribute a memory,
it would mean a great deal to the family.
38
00:02:33,141 --> 00:02:37,420
- It was all so long ago, and I can't, um--
- Well, you won't have to write anything.
39
00:02:37,421 --> 00:02:41,181
The system curates your recollections
and uploads them for the memorial.
40
00:02:41,701 --> 00:02:44,260
- Would you like to take part?
- I'm not sure.
41
00:02:44,261 --> 00:02:45,940
It's entirely voluntary.
42
00:02:45,941 --> 00:02:49,301
If it's easier, we can just send you
the kit, and you can decide then.
43
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:50,780
The kit?
44
00:02:50,781 --> 00:02:53,701
[pensive music playing]
45
00:03:01,101 --> 00:03:02,101
[camera shutter clicks]
46
00:03:27,621 --> 00:03:29,621
[music fades]
47
00:03:37,061 --> 00:03:38,781
[haunting string music plays]
48
00:03:44,581 --> 00:03:46,061
- [woman's voice] Hello?
- [startled] Ah!
49
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:48,941
Hello?
50
00:03:49,501 --> 00:03:50,421
[scoffs]
51
00:03:53,061 --> 00:03:54,220
[sighs] Hello?
52
00:03:54,221 --> 00:03:57,860
You don't have to speak directly into me.
Sorry. I know, weird thing to say.
53
00:03:57,861 --> 00:03:58,940
Sorry.
54
00:03:58,941 --> 00:04:01,500
I've got a bit of an opening spiel
I need to do here.
55
00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:03,021
- Go for it.
- Okay.
56
00:04:04,341 --> 00:04:07,220
Today, we celebrate
the life of Carol Royce.
57
00:04:07,221 --> 00:04:08,140
[chuckles]
58
00:04:08,141 --> 00:04:10,780
As guide, my role is
to help you reminisce, relive,
59
00:04:10,781 --> 00:04:13,140
and to curate
your fondest memories of her.
60
00:04:13,141 --> 00:04:16,500
Yeah, can we maybe skip the intro?
Just tell me what you need me to do.
61
00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:17,660
Okay. Uh...
62
00:04:17,661 --> 00:04:21,420
So first, let's, um... let's calibrate.
63
00:04:21,421 --> 00:04:25,540
Simply place the guide disc,
uh, that's me, on your temple.
64
00:04:25,541 --> 00:04:26,741
[scoffs]
65
00:04:27,421 --> 00:04:30,420
- This, like, on the side of my, like...
- Mm-hmm.
66
00:04:30,421 --> 00:04:31,661
That's it.
67
00:04:33,021 --> 00:04:35,540
Now all you have to do is think of Carol.
68
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,740
Well, I haven't done that for a long time.
69
00:04:37,741 --> 00:04:39,141
Mm-hmm. Understood.
70
00:04:39,661 --> 00:04:41,581
But try to recall her now.
71
00:04:42,101 --> 00:04:45,020
Close your eyes and picture her face.
72
00:04:45,021 --> 00:04:47,101
[wistful string music playing]
73
00:04:52,221 --> 00:04:53,501
[sighs]
74
00:04:55,661 --> 00:04:57,740
Okay, uh, not really getting anything.
75
00:04:57,741 --> 00:05:00,940
Oh, well... sorry, but, um...
76
00:05:00,941 --> 00:05:03,380
Just, uh... just try to focus.
77
00:05:03,381 --> 00:05:05,541
I am, but it's hard to, uh...
78
00:05:06,061 --> 00:05:07,381
To see her clearly?
79
00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:10,020
Yes.
80
00:05:10,021 --> 00:05:11,820
At first, getting hold of a memory
81
00:05:11,821 --> 00:05:14,700
feels like trying to grab a river
with your hands.
82
00:05:14,701 --> 00:05:17,820
- Oh boy.
- Yeah, sorry, not my words.
83
00:05:17,821 --> 00:05:20,060
That's what the, uh, brochure says.
84
00:05:20,061 --> 00:05:21,820
What helps are tangible prompts.
85
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,220
Photos, songs, mementos.
That kind of thing.
86
00:05:24,221 --> 00:05:25,580
Can't you supply photos?
87
00:05:25,581 --> 00:05:28,300
Oh, I'm not allowed
to provide external material.
88
00:05:28,301 --> 00:05:30,300
- It would get mixed up with your memories.
- Right.
89
00:05:30,301 --> 00:05:32,860
They do it this way
to keep the recollections accurate.
90
00:05:32,861 --> 00:05:33,780
Right, right, right.
91
00:05:33,781 --> 00:05:36,340
But if you grant access
to your photo cloud,
92
00:05:36,341 --> 00:05:37,940
I can search for images of Carol.
93
00:05:37,941 --> 00:05:41,100
Smartphones and clouds didn't exist
back when I knew her.
94
00:05:41,101 --> 00:05:44,861
Um, okay,
but do you have any physical photos?
95
00:05:45,981 --> 00:05:47,981
[wistful string music playing]
96
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,061
[sighs]
97
00:05:57,901 --> 00:05:58,781
[chuckles]
98
00:06:06,461 --> 00:06:07,581
[sighs]
99
00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:19,861
[groans]
100
00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:31,020
- Are you there?
- Yeah, did you find some?
101
00:06:31,021 --> 00:06:32,541
- Uh, a few.
- A few?
102
00:06:33,581 --> 00:06:34,540
Okay, three.
103
00:06:34,541 --> 00:06:37,700
- I can process up to 1,500 photos.
- And I got you three.
104
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:40,821
They recommend a minimum
of six different images.
105
00:06:41,421 --> 00:06:43,501
- Can we just get going?
- Absolutely.
106
00:06:45,021 --> 00:06:46,820
- So?
- So pop me back on.
107
00:06:46,821 --> 00:06:50,181
Lay out the first image
you'd like to import and then look at it.
108
00:06:52,541 --> 00:06:54,580
- Literally just look at it?
- That's right.
109
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:59,460
Okay. Uh, the first one is, uh... this.
110
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,260
Okay. What are we looking at here?
111
00:07:01,261 --> 00:07:03,980
That's the day I met Carol.
This would've been in Brooklyn.
112
00:07:03,981 --> 00:07:05,940
Rooftop barbecue at The Coop.
113
00:07:05,941 --> 00:07:08,861
- The Coop?
- Uh, yeah. It used to be a squat. Um...
114
00:07:09,381 --> 00:07:13,181
The idea was it was a co-op, so everyone
just called it Coop, hence The Coop.
115
00:07:13,861 --> 00:07:15,580
I mean, we were just kids, really,
116
00:07:15,581 --> 00:07:19,741
but we called ourselves artists,
musicians... misfits.
117
00:07:20,421 --> 00:07:25,941
Well, believe it or not, that, yeah,
that young man is me, and that is Carol.
118
00:07:27,261 --> 00:07:29,620
What, the... the woman with her back to us?
119
00:07:29,621 --> 00:07:30,860
Yeah.
120
00:07:30,861 --> 00:07:33,340
We're looking for
a clear recollection of her.
121
00:07:33,341 --> 00:07:34,540
This is what I have.
122
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:38,101
We can enhance the moment
by entering the image.
123
00:07:39,061 --> 00:07:40,100
Shall we go in?
124
00:07:40,101 --> 00:07:43,661
- What do you mean "go in"?
- It's easiest to just show you.
125
00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,941
- [gasps]
- [intriguing music playing]
126
00:07:51,541 --> 00:07:52,741
[gasps]
127
00:07:54,381 --> 00:07:55,860
Jesus Christ.
128
00:07:55,861 --> 00:07:57,301
[music fades]
129
00:07:58,181 --> 00:07:59,500
- Hi. Sorry.
- [startled] Ah!
130
00:07:59,501 --> 00:08:00,580
- [gasps]
- [chuckles]
131
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,261
- [Philip relieved] Oh.
- [laughs] It's me.
132
00:08:02,781 --> 00:08:04,060
- Your guide.
- Holy crap.
133
00:08:04,061 --> 00:08:06,020
I didn't... didn't mean to make you jump.
134
00:08:06,021 --> 00:08:08,820
No, it... it's not... It's just that this is...
135
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,701
Yeah. Take a moment to get your bearings.
136
00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,261
[Philip sighs]
137
00:08:19,821 --> 00:08:22,261
[The Guide] This is the photograph
fused with your memories.
138
00:08:22,781 --> 00:08:23,860
Some parts are missing,
139
00:08:23,861 --> 00:08:26,901
but details appear
as and when your memories fill out.
140
00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:35,420
So when this was taken, this was
before you and Carol got together?
141
00:08:35,421 --> 00:08:36,660
[Philip] Huh...
142
00:08:36,661 --> 00:08:38,820
Well, I never said we got together.
143
00:08:38,821 --> 00:08:42,141
Oh, come on.
Look at the way you're looking at her.
144
00:08:42,701 --> 00:08:45,900
And I'm guessing she was looking back
at you the same way.
145
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,300
[wistful string music playing]
146
00:08:47,301 --> 00:08:48,661
I'd made her laugh.
147
00:08:50,141 --> 00:08:51,420
She was new in the house.
148
00:08:51,421 --> 00:08:53,620
I didn't know her, but I wanted to,
149
00:08:53,621 --> 00:08:55,181
and I'd made her laugh,
150
00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:56,901
and she looked...
151
00:08:57,461 --> 00:08:58,900
- Oh Christ.
- It's okay.
152
00:08:58,901 --> 00:09:01,060
No, there's no... Um, I can't see her face.
153
00:09:01,061 --> 00:09:02,420
It'll come to you.
154
00:09:02,421 --> 00:09:05,780
Try to focus on
what you can recall of this moment.
155
00:09:05,781 --> 00:09:07,140
[indistinct chattering]
156
00:09:07,141 --> 00:09:08,061
Okay.
157
00:09:10,741 --> 00:09:11,701
Um...
158
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,541
She had just moved in. Uh...
159
00:09:16,501 --> 00:09:18,980
She kept to herself.
She had been studying the cello.
160
00:09:18,981 --> 00:09:21,781
She was usually in her room, practicing.
161
00:09:23,141 --> 00:09:26,020
I think she still had a boyfriend
back home at this point.
162
00:09:26,021 --> 00:09:27,101
Fiancรฉ.
163
00:09:27,661 --> 00:09:28,500
Sorry?
164
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:31,540
There's an engagement ring
on her finger. See?
165
00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:34,420
The eye can't make
that level of detail out in your photo,
166
00:09:34,421 --> 00:09:37,540
but there's enough for the algorithmic
sharpening to make visible to us in here.
167
00:09:37,541 --> 00:09:39,460
I never knew she was engaged.
168
00:09:39,461 --> 00:09:42,260
Maybe you chose not to see
or not to remember.
169
00:09:42,261 --> 00:09:44,420
No, she never said it was that serious.
170
00:09:44,421 --> 00:09:46,141
Perhaps she underplayed it.
171
00:09:47,061 --> 00:09:49,381
- Didn't wanna scare you off.
- Uh-huh.
172
00:09:51,501 --> 00:09:55,221
Shall we mark this moment
for potential upload for the memorial?
173
00:09:55,741 --> 00:09:58,900
I don't think her family would appreciate
seeing a fond memory
174
00:09:58,901 --> 00:10:02,220
of her flirting with me
while engaged to someone else.
175
00:10:02,221 --> 00:10:03,460
Hmm, you're right.
176
00:10:03,461 --> 00:10:07,061
Though it would be
an honest representation of her character.
177
00:10:09,061 --> 00:10:10,061
Shall we move on?
178
00:10:11,061 --> 00:10:12,420
[gasps, gulps]
179
00:10:12,421 --> 00:10:14,501
[intriguing music playing]
180
00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:16,821
Jesus Christ.
181
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,301
Yeah. Don't worry.
182
00:10:19,941 --> 00:10:22,981
These transitions should get
less disorientating as you go.
183
00:10:23,741 --> 00:10:25,461
Shall we try your next photo?
184
00:10:26,221 --> 00:10:27,181
Okay.
185
00:10:28,341 --> 00:10:29,780
Looks like another party.
186
00:10:29,781 --> 00:10:34,060
Uh, yeah, I can't remember what for.
Any excuse would do, you know?
187
00:10:34,061 --> 00:10:35,220
That was The Coop.
188
00:10:35,221 --> 00:10:39,061
Okay. A lot of faces.
Why don't you talk me through who's who?
189
00:10:39,581 --> 00:10:41,621
Uh, okay.
190
00:10:43,261 --> 00:10:45,500
That's Emma with the blonde hair.
191
00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:46,620
[indistinct chattering]
192
00:10:46,621 --> 00:10:49,261
[Philip] And the guy with the bong,
that's Jamo.
193
00:10:51,061 --> 00:10:53,461
And the girl lying back there is Amanda.
194
00:10:54,101 --> 00:10:56,901
You'd have liked her.
She was British, like you.
195
00:10:59,181 --> 00:11:01,101
But there's no Carol.
196
00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:02,781
Or you.
197
00:11:04,221 --> 00:11:08,981
No, we're not in the photo,
but we were definitely both at this party.
198
00:11:09,541 --> 00:11:10,541
[The Guide] Mm.
199
00:11:11,741 --> 00:11:15,100
Looks like there was a record playing.
"Fools Gold" by--
200
00:11:15,101 --> 00:11:16,581
The Stone Roses.
201
00:11:17,221 --> 00:11:18,661
It's one of Amanda's.
202
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,740
Music's great for jogging the memory.
203
00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:23,621
["Fools Gold" playing]
204
00:11:32,741 --> 00:11:34,741
[indistinct chattering]
205
00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:37,181
[Philip] There.
206
00:11:38,701 --> 00:11:39,541
Right.
207
00:11:40,261 --> 00:11:41,221
Yeah.
208
00:11:43,421 --> 00:11:44,741
We were through there,
209
00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:46,741
down the hall.
210
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:52,381
That was the first time
me and Carol really got talking.
211
00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:54,741
I was so nervous.
212
00:11:55,581 --> 00:12:00,141
My brain was screaming behind my ears,
"Don't fuck this up, man."
213
00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:05,501
But I didn't fuck it up.
214
00:12:07,181 --> 00:12:09,101
Talking with her was easy.
215
00:12:09,941 --> 00:12:11,301
She was funny.
216
00:12:12,621 --> 00:12:14,781
Can you remember what you talked about?
217
00:12:17,381 --> 00:12:18,581
No, but
218
00:12:20,221 --> 00:12:22,221
she was like no one I'd ever known.
219
00:12:23,141 --> 00:12:24,861
Or even thought of knowing.
220
00:12:25,901 --> 00:12:26,981
[laughter]
221
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,861
That was our first night together.
222
00:12:37,461 --> 00:12:39,061
[sighs, chuckles]
223
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,100
I can't use this either, can I?
224
00:12:43,101 --> 00:12:46,061
"I screwed the deceased.
May she rest in peace."
225
00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:47,701
Probably not.
226
00:12:49,661 --> 00:12:50,541
[sighs]
227
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:53,061
Um, let's try your last photo.
228
00:12:53,821 --> 00:12:55,301
[sighs] Uh...
229
00:12:56,581 --> 00:12:57,700
Me again.
230
00:12:57,701 --> 00:12:59,420
What the hell was I wearing?
231
00:12:59,421 --> 00:13:00,820
[both chuckle]
232
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,860
Don't have a clue who took this.
I didn't notice anyone taking it.
233
00:13:03,861 --> 00:13:05,380
But still no sign of Carol.
234
00:13:05,381 --> 00:13:06,940
No. But I was listening...
235
00:13:06,941 --> 00:13:08,901
[intriguing music playing]
236
00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:10,341
...to her.
237
00:13:13,781 --> 00:13:15,380
[footsteps approaching]
238
00:13:15,381 --> 00:13:16,941
[Philip] She was in her room.
239
00:13:17,941 --> 00:13:20,061
On her cello, practicing.
240
00:13:21,861 --> 00:13:22,861
Lost in it.
241
00:13:24,061 --> 00:13:25,901
She didn't know I was watching.
242
00:13:27,101 --> 00:13:29,101
[music fades]
243
00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:35,181
- She's in there, but I can't see her.
- Can you remember what she was playing?
244
00:13:36,581 --> 00:13:40,580
This thing she used to play over and over.
It was a beautiful piece of music.
245
00:13:40,581 --> 00:13:43,501
If you can remember the name of the piece,
I can look it up.
246
00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:45,981
Listening might fill out the memory.
247
00:13:47,781 --> 00:13:50,021
No, it won't be on a service.
248
00:13:51,021 --> 00:13:52,381
She wrote it herself.
249
00:13:53,301 --> 00:13:54,740
It was a piece she composed?
250
00:13:54,741 --> 00:13:56,661
Yeah. She was good.
251
00:13:58,461 --> 00:13:59,701
She was good.
252
00:14:01,781 --> 00:14:02,621
[Philip sighs]
253
00:14:03,141 --> 00:14:06,420
It's a shame you don't have more photos,
but since that's all you have,
254
00:14:06,421 --> 00:14:08,620
perhaps we should try
some other form of stimuli--
255
00:14:08,621 --> 00:14:09,621
It's not.
256
00:14:10,461 --> 00:14:11,301
Sorry?
257
00:14:12,741 --> 00:14:14,540
[eerie music sting]
258
00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:16,261
I've got other pictures.
259
00:14:17,301 --> 00:14:18,180
Of her.
260
00:14:18,181 --> 00:14:20,421
Great! Then let's look at those.
261
00:14:21,981 --> 00:14:23,061
They won't help.
262
00:14:24,421 --> 00:14:26,861
[ethereal string music playing]
263
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,581
[sighs] See what I mean?
264
00:14:44,661 --> 00:14:45,541
Yeah.
265
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,660
A year or so after we broke up,
266
00:14:50,661 --> 00:14:54,100
if it had her face in it,
I either threw it out or I did that.
267
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,020
- You were upset with her.
- [chuckles]
268
00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,981
That's one way of putting it, yeah.
269
00:15:02,141 --> 00:15:04,980
You won't ever know
how hard I fell for that girl.
270
00:15:04,981 --> 00:15:07,021
Like, beyond everything.
271
00:15:09,061 --> 00:15:12,580
And she said...
she always said she felt the same,
272
00:15:12,581 --> 00:15:14,741
and I believed she felt the same,
273
00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:16,861
and then she drops me.
274
00:15:20,581 --> 00:15:23,580
Into a pit. Just a fucking pit.
275
00:15:23,581 --> 00:15:24,980
Just cold, bang.
276
00:15:24,981 --> 00:15:26,501
Just, "See ya."
277
00:15:27,941 --> 00:15:29,661
Not a word. Just walks away.
278
00:15:32,461 --> 00:15:35,780
And she went on with her life
while mine just stopped.
279
00:15:35,781 --> 00:15:37,620
So that was me.
280
00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:40,221
Lost. No hope. Nothing.
281
00:15:41,821 --> 00:15:46,501
[sighs] So then came the drinking,
all that shit, the desperation of it.
282
00:15:47,621 --> 00:15:48,861
The fucking shame.
283
00:15:49,661 --> 00:15:51,620
Me and Carol were together three years.
284
00:15:51,621 --> 00:15:55,460
It took me 15 to climb out
of the hole she put me in.
285
00:15:55,461 --> 00:15:59,581
- So, yes. I was upset.
- And you never stayed in touch?
286
00:16:00,861 --> 00:16:02,100
[laughs]
287
00:16:02,101 --> 00:16:03,220
Uh, no.
288
00:16:03,221 --> 00:16:05,301
[laughs] No, we did not.
289
00:16:06,101 --> 00:16:08,980
Reexamining the past
isn't always comfortable, but--
290
00:16:08,981 --> 00:16:10,740
Okay, sorry.
291
00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:12,141
But, yeah,
292
00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:16,780
there were good times...
when we were together.
293
00:16:16,781 --> 00:16:18,741
I know that. But, uh...
294
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,141
that's all gone.
295
00:16:23,101 --> 00:16:25,421
I can't even picture her face anymore.
296
00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:28,020
Do you want to stop?
297
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:30,101
[wistful string music playing]
298
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:32,981
No.
299
00:16:33,581 --> 00:16:35,500
Well, do you have any particular memories
300
00:16:35,501 --> 00:16:37,980
associated with
what's left of these photos?
301
00:16:37,981 --> 00:16:39,461
I don't-- Um...
302
00:16:40,381 --> 00:16:41,860
Used to, maybe? I don't know.
303
00:16:41,861 --> 00:16:43,700
It's just the more you can recall,
304
00:16:43,701 --> 00:16:47,261
the more likely it is
we can restore your memory of her face.
305
00:16:51,421 --> 00:16:53,781
All right, then.
Let's... let's try this one.
306
00:16:54,501 --> 00:16:55,420
Which one's you?
307
00:16:55,421 --> 00:16:56,700
[laughs]
308
00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:57,980
Sorry, I'm joking.
309
00:16:57,981 --> 00:16:59,380
Oh, you're hilarious.
310
00:16:59,381 --> 00:17:01,740
What do you remember
about the day this was taken?
311
00:17:01,741 --> 00:17:02,740
It was wet.
312
00:17:02,741 --> 00:17:04,140
Well, that's a start.
313
00:17:04,141 --> 00:17:06,221
Let's see what else you can recall.
314
00:17:08,701 --> 00:17:10,340
[The Guide] So where exactly are we?
315
00:17:10,341 --> 00:17:12,060
Uh, the pier at Cape Cod.
316
00:17:12,061 --> 00:17:13,420
[Philip chuckles]
317
00:17:13,421 --> 00:17:15,140
Well, that's where you live now.
318
00:17:15,141 --> 00:17:19,140
Yeah, well, I inherited my folks' house,
but they were out of town,
319
00:17:19,141 --> 00:17:22,781
so we took the opportunity
to take a cheap little vacation.
320
00:17:24,821 --> 00:17:27,021
My first getaway with a girlfriend.
321
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:29,421
Who took the photo?
322
00:17:30,381 --> 00:17:32,500
Uh, just a tourist.
323
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:35,461
Some passerby
we handed the camera to and asked.
324
00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:41,420
I liked this photo more than Carol did.
325
00:17:41,421 --> 00:17:44,421
- She wasn't into hot dogs?
- No, it was the beer.
326
00:17:45,261 --> 00:17:47,260
"You could've put that bottle down
for the picture."
327
00:17:47,261 --> 00:17:49,300
[chuckles] Well, yeah. She had a point.
328
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:50,381
Yeah.
329
00:17:51,261 --> 00:17:53,741
You know, it was on this trip
that we knew we were serious.
330
00:17:56,021 --> 00:18:00,101
Lying in bed,
fascinated by each other's eyes.
331
00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:03,780
"I love you" back and forth, all that.
332
00:18:03,781 --> 00:18:06,021
Nothing else existed. Just us.
333
00:18:06,581 --> 00:18:07,861
That's all we needed.
334
00:18:11,021 --> 00:18:12,141
We made plans.
335
00:18:13,661 --> 00:18:15,701
Man, we were so young.
336
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:20,340
[sentimental music playing]
337
00:18:20,341 --> 00:18:22,100
So what were the plans?
338
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,060
Well, we decided
to get our own place together.
339
00:18:25,061 --> 00:18:28,021
Oh, black and white? That's a bit arty.
340
00:18:30,701 --> 00:18:33,341
[Philip] This was it.
Tiny place over a piano store.
341
00:18:34,341 --> 00:18:38,220
Uh, I took the picture,
so I would have been about there.
342
00:18:38,221 --> 00:18:39,381
[The Guide] Mm.
343
00:18:39,981 --> 00:18:42,461
Can you remember
what color she's painting with here?
344
00:18:42,981 --> 00:18:46,220
[Philip] The walls were nicotine-yellow
when we moved in.
345
00:18:46,221 --> 00:18:48,981
First place of our own for both of us.
346
00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:55,141
We wanted to make our mark,
so we painted the whole place... blue.
347
00:18:56,221 --> 00:18:58,661
[chuckles] Yeah, that's it. Blue.
348
00:18:59,261 --> 00:19:00,740
[laughs] Yes!
349
00:19:00,741 --> 00:19:02,301
[laughs]
350
00:19:03,021 --> 00:19:07,301
Oh my God, the landlord lost his shit.
We weren't supposed to redecorate.
351
00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:09,940
It was a stupid idea, really.
352
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:12,580
It made it look
even smaller than it already was.
353
00:19:12,581 --> 00:19:15,021
- The two of you were happy here?
- Mm-hmm.
354
00:19:15,581 --> 00:19:16,661
Just me and her.
355
00:19:17,381 --> 00:19:18,381
And the cello.
356
00:19:18,981 --> 00:19:22,701
Yeah, we both kept up the music.
She'd joined the band by now.
357
00:19:23,581 --> 00:19:26,341
- You were in a band together?
- Oh yeah. I'll show you.
358
00:19:27,581 --> 00:19:29,380
Here, it's one of our gigs.
359
00:19:29,381 --> 00:19:32,301
It's about... '91, I think.
360
00:19:34,861 --> 00:19:36,301
I stabbed it with a pen.
361
00:19:37,181 --> 00:19:38,380
Will it still work?
362
00:19:38,381 --> 00:19:39,500
Should do.
363
00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:41,741
- [muffled rock music playing]
- There we are.
364
00:19:43,741 --> 00:19:45,700
So Carol played keyboards?
365
00:19:45,701 --> 00:19:47,380
Yeah, that was my idea.
366
00:19:47,381 --> 00:19:48,301
Not cello?
367
00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:51,101
Cello wouldn't have fitted our sound.
368
00:19:51,741 --> 00:19:53,340
You could adapt the sound.
369
00:19:53,341 --> 00:19:54,500
She could play anything.
370
00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:56,860
It might not have been the cello,
but she was fine with it.
371
00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,221
She told you that?
372
00:19:59,501 --> 00:20:00,740
Sorry, it's not a trial.
373
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:01,941
[Philip] No, it's not.
374
00:20:02,461 --> 00:20:03,461
[Philip chuckles]
375
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,340
We were getting quite a following.
376
00:20:07,341 --> 00:20:09,421
- [music continues]
- [crowd cheering]
377
00:20:12,541 --> 00:20:15,621
I'm not saying we were a big deal,
but maybe we could've been.
378
00:20:18,781 --> 00:20:22,140
Have you got a recording?
It might bring back more of the moment.
379
00:20:22,141 --> 00:20:23,700
Not anymore, no.
380
00:20:23,701 --> 00:20:27,581
Zeke quit the band,
moved to Seattle, decided he was God,
381
00:20:28,341 --> 00:20:29,740
and that was it for us.
382
00:20:29,741 --> 00:20:31,541
So, no, no recording.
383
00:20:33,421 --> 00:20:35,180
It's just as well.
384
00:20:35,181 --> 00:20:37,620
Hearing his voice gives me hives,
to be honest.
385
00:20:37,621 --> 00:20:39,780
He went on to become a big deal,
didn't he?
386
00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,021
Yeah, well, assholes prosper.
387
00:20:43,821 --> 00:20:46,101
Maybe we could've kept going
without him, but
388
00:20:47,261 --> 00:20:48,581
Carol's heart wasn't in it.
389
00:20:49,101 --> 00:20:53,060
- Maybe you should have let her play cello.
- Maybe you could say "cello" again.
390
00:20:53,061 --> 00:20:55,220
- Well, the cello was important to her.
- I know.
391
00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,860
She played it her whole life.
Taught her daughter to play it.
392
00:20:57,861 --> 00:21:01,701
Are you supposed to be mildly annoying?
Is that how they coded you?
393
00:21:02,741 --> 00:21:04,061
I wasn't really coded.
394
00:21:04,661 --> 00:21:06,780
- More generated.
- Okay.
395
00:21:06,781 --> 00:21:09,021
Generated from some digital asshole.
396
00:21:14,701 --> 00:21:15,541
Sorry.
397
00:21:17,301 --> 00:21:18,621
Apology accepted.
398
00:21:20,421 --> 00:21:22,221
Let's try another picture.
399
00:21:25,981 --> 00:21:29,660
Okay, so these are definitely all '91.
400
00:21:29,661 --> 00:21:32,460
- Halloween at the Undervault.
- Oh, this is good.
401
00:21:32,461 --> 00:21:36,061
With multiple photos, we'll get
a composite of the entire night.
402
00:21:36,701 --> 00:21:37,740
[indistinct chattering]
403
00:21:37,741 --> 00:21:39,780
[Philip] Yeah, Jamo took a whole bunch.
404
00:21:39,781 --> 00:21:42,661
Wild night. A lot of drinking.
And I mean a lot.
405
00:21:44,101 --> 00:21:48,620
Jesus, that's Carol in red there.
I was so mad, I used a cigarette on this.
406
00:21:48,621 --> 00:21:51,660
- You burned your own face out too?
- That's not me.
407
00:21:51,661 --> 00:21:53,661
[music playing on speakers]
408
00:21:54,621 --> 00:21:56,780
That's me in the hockey mask.
409
00:21:56,781 --> 00:21:58,540
I had the bar job by now.
410
00:21:58,541 --> 00:21:59,860
So who's Beetlejuice?
411
00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:03,461
Just some dickbag
trying his luck with my girlfriend.
412
00:22:04,141 --> 00:22:08,340
Even though you're standing right there
dressed like Jason from Friday the 13th?
413
00:22:08,341 --> 00:22:12,221
Exactly. I was that close,
and she still just sat with this guy.
414
00:22:12,741 --> 00:22:13,740
Right in front of me.
415
00:22:13,741 --> 00:22:15,860
[The Guide] Looks like
you had company too.
416
00:22:15,861 --> 00:22:16,941
Who's she?
417
00:22:17,541 --> 00:22:18,540
Oh, that's Emma.
418
00:22:18,541 --> 00:22:20,900
She was in The Coop photos earlier.
419
00:22:20,901 --> 00:22:22,581
[Philip] Yeah, she worked there too.
420
00:22:25,421 --> 00:22:26,901
The two of you get on?
421
00:22:27,501 --> 00:22:28,501
We worked together.
422
00:22:31,341 --> 00:22:32,981
Oh Jesus. Not you too.
423
00:22:33,661 --> 00:22:34,741
[scoffs]
424
00:22:37,301 --> 00:22:40,620
Carol thought I encouraged her,
which I didn't.
425
00:22:40,621 --> 00:22:43,780
It was a bar job, for Christ's sake.
You joke around. [chuckles] You know?
426
00:22:43,781 --> 00:22:45,261
So she was jealous?
427
00:22:46,421 --> 00:22:48,380
We fought about it that night.
428
00:22:48,381 --> 00:22:51,901
I was pissed she'd been sitting all night
with Mr. Asshole.
429
00:22:52,421 --> 00:22:54,421
Looks like she wants to get away from him.
430
00:22:55,461 --> 00:22:56,301
[Philip] What?
431
00:22:57,021 --> 00:23:00,221
She's leaning back,
like his breath smells.
432
00:23:01,821 --> 00:23:03,500
Okay, that's one snapshot.
433
00:23:03,501 --> 00:23:05,580
Believe me, she could've moved anytime.
434
00:23:05,581 --> 00:23:07,860
- She was there the whole night with him.
- The whole night?
435
00:23:07,861 --> 00:23:09,021
Absolutely.
436
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:12,380
I think so.
437
00:23:12,381 --> 00:23:13,900
See that area?
438
00:23:13,901 --> 00:23:16,780
Jamo must've photographed it
at some other point that night.
439
00:23:16,781 --> 00:23:19,341
Isn't that Carol
with her back to us in red?
440
00:23:21,141 --> 00:23:23,381
Okay, not the whole night, literally.
441
00:23:26,741 --> 00:23:28,701
It was just a stupid fight.
442
00:23:31,701 --> 00:23:33,660
She went on and on,
443
00:23:33,661 --> 00:23:36,900
and then she blamed me
that she didn't get an early night
444
00:23:36,901 --> 00:23:40,620
'cause she had
some audition tryout thing the next day.
445
00:23:40,621 --> 00:23:42,101
Brooklyn Philharmonic.
446
00:23:42,861 --> 00:23:44,060
For the cello.
447
00:23:44,061 --> 00:23:45,300
And she didn't get it.
448
00:23:45,301 --> 00:23:47,220
She must've been sad about that.
449
00:23:47,221 --> 00:23:48,860
Not for long. [sighs]
450
00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:51,061
It opened the door
to other things for her.
451
00:23:52,221 --> 00:23:55,620
When the orchestra gig didn't work out,
she was bummed.
452
00:23:55,621 --> 00:23:57,181
She didn't have any work.
453
00:23:58,181 --> 00:24:01,220
But then Amanda,
the British girl from The Coop,
454
00:24:01,221 --> 00:24:02,821
she'd moved back home,
455
00:24:03,501 --> 00:24:05,100
pulled a couple of strings.
456
00:24:05,101 --> 00:24:06,900
Got Carol a six-month placement
457
00:24:06,901 --> 00:24:10,340
in the orchestra pit
for Phantom of the Opera, of all things.
458
00:24:10,341 --> 00:24:11,941
London's West End.
459
00:24:13,101 --> 00:24:15,061
Total tourist bullshit, but
460
00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:17,780
she was excited.
461
00:24:17,781 --> 00:24:19,260
Yes, she was.
462
00:24:19,261 --> 00:24:20,781
You didn't want her to go?
463
00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:24,221
Oh, she kept saying,
"It's just for a few months," but
464
00:24:24,901 --> 00:24:28,181
it's easy to say that
when you're the one going on an adventure.
465
00:24:29,181 --> 00:24:30,181
[sighs]
466
00:24:32,261 --> 00:24:33,940
She sent me a postcard every week.
467
00:24:33,941 --> 00:24:36,341
Upbeat, but saying she missed me.
468
00:24:36,901 --> 00:24:38,700
Little poems and such.
469
00:24:38,701 --> 00:24:41,180
Maybe we could scan in one of the...
470
00:24:41,181 --> 00:24:42,941
- Oh.
- I was thorough.
471
00:24:43,701 --> 00:24:45,660
So you didn't see her for a while?
472
00:24:45,661 --> 00:24:48,500
No, but we arranged
for me to fly out there in the fall,
473
00:24:48,501 --> 00:24:50,301
see her for a long weekend, but
474
00:24:51,661 --> 00:24:53,661
it felt so far away, you know?
475
00:24:54,341 --> 00:24:55,821
A long time on my own.
476
00:24:56,781 --> 00:24:57,941
What's this?
477
00:24:58,741 --> 00:24:59,581
My birthday.
478
00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,300
So you weren't alone
the whole time she was gone.
479
00:25:03,301 --> 00:25:04,300
What do you mean?
480
00:25:04,301 --> 00:25:06,301
Well, someone took this photo.
481
00:25:06,821 --> 00:25:08,821
[mysterious music playing]
482
00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:15,860
So that's...
483
00:25:15,861 --> 00:25:17,141
Emma. [sighs]
484
00:25:17,661 --> 00:25:19,821
Oh God, yeah.
485
00:25:20,421 --> 00:25:21,341
Uh...
486
00:25:22,341 --> 00:25:24,341
Oh Christ, yeah. [chuckles]
487
00:25:24,901 --> 00:25:26,700
Um, don't look at me like that.
488
00:25:26,701 --> 00:25:28,500
- [The Guide] Like what?
- Like you are.
489
00:25:28,501 --> 00:25:30,460
I'm not looking at you like anything.
490
00:25:30,461 --> 00:25:31,661
[groans]
491
00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:34,100
[chuckles]
492
00:25:34,101 --> 00:25:36,540
Okay, so it was my birthday.
493
00:25:36,541 --> 00:25:38,140
I had a few drinks at work.
494
00:25:38,141 --> 00:25:41,140
Uh, not my idea.
They were practically forcing shots on me.
495
00:25:41,141 --> 00:25:42,060
[The Guide] Sure.
496
00:25:42,061 --> 00:25:44,500
And Emma came back to the apartment,
and, you know...
497
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,260
Uh, we weren't... [scoffs]
498
00:25:46,261 --> 00:25:49,260
[splutters] It was a dumb thing, okay?
499
00:25:49,261 --> 00:25:51,501
It was just a one-off thing.
500
00:25:52,781 --> 00:25:53,901
[sighs]
501
00:25:54,701 --> 00:25:58,900
I mean, we'd... we'd have just regretted it,
me and Emma, in secret.
502
00:25:58,901 --> 00:26:01,540
It wouldn't have been
a big fucking deal if...
503
00:26:01,541 --> 00:26:02,700
If what?
504
00:26:02,701 --> 00:26:04,341
[phone ringing]
505
00:26:06,981 --> 00:26:08,621
[phone ringing]
506
00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:12,860
I mean, Carol never called.
507
00:26:12,861 --> 00:26:14,260
Couldn't afford to.
508
00:26:14,261 --> 00:26:16,860
- Long distance back then was a fortune.
- [phone ringing]
509
00:26:16,861 --> 00:26:18,540
But this night,
510
00:26:18,541 --> 00:26:22,140
she gets up early
and called to sing me "Happy Birthday,"
511
00:26:22,141 --> 00:26:24,140
and Emma answers the call.
512
00:26:24,141 --> 00:26:25,341
I don't know why.
513
00:26:26,061 --> 00:26:28,701
- Making mischief?
- Yeah, I don't know, maybe.
514
00:26:30,341 --> 00:26:32,141
Anyhow, shit hit the fan.
515
00:26:34,341 --> 00:26:36,620
Me and Carol screaming
at each other down the line.
516
00:26:36,621 --> 00:26:40,541
She yelled all kinds of shit.
I yelled all kinds of shit back.
517
00:26:41,061 --> 00:26:42,221
[sighs]
518
00:26:42,861 --> 00:26:45,501
Just ugly, scorched-earth stuff.
519
00:26:46,941 --> 00:26:47,821
Ugly.
520
00:26:49,141 --> 00:26:50,101
[sighs]
521
00:26:50,621 --> 00:26:51,740
She hung up on me.
522
00:26:51,741 --> 00:26:53,260
Or I hung up on her.
523
00:26:53,261 --> 00:26:55,701
I don't know. I can't fucking remember.
524
00:27:00,821 --> 00:27:01,781
[sighs]
525
00:27:04,221 --> 00:27:05,661
But, yeah, anyway,
526
00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:07,501
not good.
527
00:27:08,141 --> 00:27:11,901
Do you want to mark this memory
for potential upload? For the memorial?
528
00:27:12,421 --> 00:27:13,780
I never said I was perfect.
529
00:27:13,781 --> 00:27:16,140
You've said a lot about Carol's failings.
530
00:27:16,141 --> 00:27:18,860
"She did this, she did that,
she's the root of all evil."
531
00:27:18,861 --> 00:27:20,860
[chuckles] Okay, you don't understand.
532
00:27:20,861 --> 00:27:23,260
What did she do
that was so awful, so heinous,
533
00:27:23,261 --> 00:27:25,460
you become this wounded dog?
534
00:27:25,461 --> 00:27:27,261
I haven't shown you yet.
535
00:27:30,341 --> 00:27:32,341
[solemn string music playing]
536
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:39,980
You remember I told you
we arranged for me to fly out there?
537
00:27:39,981 --> 00:27:41,940
- Mm-hmm.
- I already had my ticket, so...
538
00:27:41,941 --> 00:27:44,100
- So Carol knew you were coming.
- Right.
539
00:27:44,101 --> 00:27:46,181
A few months or so after my birthday.
540
00:27:47,221 --> 00:27:49,940
Now, she was staying in
this British family's spare room
541
00:27:49,941 --> 00:27:51,140
in the sticks somewhere,
542
00:27:51,141 --> 00:27:54,861
so I booked us a stupid suite
in a hotel I couldn't afford. [chuckles]
543
00:27:55,421 --> 00:27:56,460
Big romantic.
544
00:27:56,461 --> 00:27:57,900
[chuckles] Nice.
545
00:27:57,901 --> 00:27:59,381
I went to the matinee.
546
00:28:00,461 --> 00:28:03,341
Not my thing,
and I couldn't even see her, of course.
547
00:28:03,901 --> 00:28:08,661
She was in the pit somewhere,
but... I met her at the stage door after.
548
00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:12,060
I took her suitcase back to the hotel,
549
00:28:12,061 --> 00:28:13,101
and...
550
00:28:15,341 --> 00:28:17,060
we went out for dinner.
551
00:28:17,061 --> 00:28:18,061
Anywhere nice?
552
00:28:22,421 --> 00:28:24,060
To a fancy restaurant.
553
00:28:24,061 --> 00:28:26,341
I'd read this article about it
on the flight.
554
00:28:26,901 --> 00:28:30,061
When I landed, I called
to see if they had a table for two.
555
00:28:30,981 --> 00:28:35,380
I think they bumped someone
when I told them what I was gonna do.
556
00:28:35,381 --> 00:28:36,541
What do you mean?
557
00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:48,181
[ethereal string music playing]
558
00:28:58,821 --> 00:28:59,901
We were over here.
559
00:29:01,941 --> 00:29:03,621
So walk through what happened.
560
00:29:09,061 --> 00:29:10,661
Well, uh...
561
00:29:13,581 --> 00:29:16,261
she looked kind of the same but different.
562
00:29:18,061 --> 00:29:20,500
She said she'd put on weight,
but I couldn't see that.
563
00:29:20,501 --> 00:29:22,181
I thought she looked beautiful.
564
00:29:23,821 --> 00:29:27,940
And I ordered a bottle of champagne.
First time I'd done that anywhere.
565
00:29:27,941 --> 00:29:31,341
But she didn't touch it.
She didn't wanna drink anything.
566
00:29:32,421 --> 00:29:36,140
And I was like, "Come on." [chuckles]
"I've come all this way. Have one."
567
00:29:36,141 --> 00:29:37,221
But no.
568
00:29:39,421 --> 00:29:42,981
So I had to bite my tongue
because, you know, it was irritating.
569
00:29:44,221 --> 00:29:47,180
I had the ring in my pocket,
so I was nervous.
570
00:29:47,181 --> 00:29:49,460
I'm draining the glasses.
571
00:29:49,461 --> 00:29:52,740
And, finally, I pluck up the nerve,
572
00:29:52,741 --> 00:29:55,661
and I take out the ring,
and I almost dropped it.
573
00:29:56,181 --> 00:29:57,461
I was so jittery.
574
00:30:00,821 --> 00:30:03,421
And she looks at it, and...
575
00:30:05,821 --> 00:30:06,981
she goes quiet.
576
00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:10,620
She doesn't say anything.
577
00:30:10,621 --> 00:30:12,581
She doesn't even look at me.
578
00:30:15,541 --> 00:30:17,580
And now the waitresses
are shooting looks over
579
00:30:17,581 --> 00:30:21,260
'cause they know I'm there to propose,
so I'm on display, you know?
580
00:30:21,261 --> 00:30:24,340
My cheeks are burning.
My throat is dry, so I'm drinking more.
581
00:30:24,341 --> 00:30:28,061
And then, in the end,
I just... I ask her, "Just say something."
582
00:30:31,021 --> 00:30:32,861
"Say anything." [sighs]
583
00:30:34,341 --> 00:30:36,100
And she's just staring at the floor,
584
00:30:36,101 --> 00:30:38,540
so I bang the table with my fist,
585
00:30:38,541 --> 00:30:41,261
and now everybody's watching,
586
00:30:42,941 --> 00:30:44,341
and she just gets up...
587
00:30:48,501 --> 00:30:49,621
and walks out.
588
00:30:55,541 --> 00:30:59,301
There's just silence.
There's just the clanging in the kitchen.
589
00:31:01,821 --> 00:31:03,341
And I'm there, and
590
00:31:04,461 --> 00:31:06,940
everyone's quiet,
the staff can't make eye contact,
591
00:31:06,941 --> 00:31:10,621
just this stink of humiliation on me.
592
00:31:15,861 --> 00:31:16,941
[hand thuds]
593
00:31:18,301 --> 00:31:20,581
So I sat there,
and I finished that bottle.
594
00:31:22,341 --> 00:31:25,180
They told me I didn't have to pay for it,
but I insisted I would.
595
00:31:25,181 --> 00:31:28,581
- I didn't want their pity.
- No, because you could provide your own.
596
00:31:32,101 --> 00:31:32,941
What?
597
00:31:37,501 --> 00:31:40,301
You're talking a lot
about how sad you were.
598
00:31:41,261 --> 00:31:42,380
I was destroyed.
599
00:31:42,381 --> 00:31:43,700
And how was she?
600
00:31:43,701 --> 00:31:47,500
I'm not saying that she was
a big, happy fucking sandwich,
601
00:31:47,501 --> 00:31:49,420
but she walked out on me.
602
00:31:49,421 --> 00:31:50,580
Not a word as to why.
603
00:31:50,581 --> 00:31:54,740
Would you have listened if she told you?
A bottle of champagne down.
604
00:31:54,741 --> 00:31:57,261
- Of course.
- So why do you think she left?
605
00:31:57,781 --> 00:31:59,181
Maybe she was cheating.
606
00:32:00,861 --> 00:32:04,141
Maybe she was sick of me.
Maybe she was cruel.
607
00:32:04,981 --> 00:32:08,860
She... she knew that I was coming.
She could have ended it on the phone.
608
00:32:08,861 --> 00:32:10,980
She made me fly all that way. She knew--
609
00:32:10,981 --> 00:32:13,380
But not that you were coming to propose.
610
00:32:13,381 --> 00:32:15,181
Like that's a big difference.
611
00:32:17,141 --> 00:32:19,260
You said this was autumn '92?
612
00:32:19,261 --> 00:32:20,860
Fall, yes, like October.
613
00:32:20,861 --> 00:32:23,461
She looked sort of different.
Wouldn't drink.
614
00:32:24,421 --> 00:32:25,821
She was pregnant.
615
00:32:26,941 --> 00:32:27,901
With me.
616
00:32:34,301 --> 00:32:35,341
Kelly Royce.
617
00:32:36,021 --> 00:32:37,301
Carol's daughter.
618
00:32:37,901 --> 00:32:40,021
The one she taught to play cello.
619
00:32:41,421 --> 00:32:42,381
[Philip sighs]
620
00:32:42,941 --> 00:32:44,941
Don't worry. You're not my dad.
621
00:32:45,541 --> 00:32:46,900
He was a one-night stand.
622
00:32:46,901 --> 00:32:49,621
Played xylophone in the orchestra,
believe it or not.
623
00:32:50,181 --> 00:32:51,261
[surprised gasp]
624
00:32:54,101 --> 00:32:55,300
You're Carol's daughter?
625
00:32:55,301 --> 00:32:57,501
Yes. Well, kind of.
626
00:32:59,221 --> 00:33:00,221
I'm not real.
627
00:33:01,261 --> 00:33:03,100
I'm a disposable avatar.
628
00:33:03,101 --> 00:33:05,381
A temp guide. An echo, really.
629
00:33:07,101 --> 00:33:08,980
I'm programmed
with her thoughts and opinions
630
00:33:08,981 --> 00:33:11,180
so I can decide what she'd like to include
631
00:33:11,181 --> 00:33:13,860
without her having to be exposed
to everything herself,
632
00:33:13,861 --> 00:33:15,981
which, as you can imagine,
633
00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:18,020
might be upsetting.
634
00:33:18,021 --> 00:33:19,541
Why didn't you say?
635
00:33:20,181 --> 00:33:22,301
You said, "Skip the intro."
636
00:33:26,901 --> 00:33:27,901
[sighs]
637
00:33:30,221 --> 00:33:33,140
So you know everything
that the real daughter knows?
638
00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:34,500
Mm-hmm. More or less.
639
00:33:34,501 --> 00:33:36,860
So you already knew
everything I've been telling you here.
640
00:33:36,861 --> 00:33:37,820
Well, some of it,
641
00:33:37,821 --> 00:33:41,421
but, to be honest, she never really
spoke much about this time in her life.
642
00:33:44,101 --> 00:33:47,020
- Right.
- I think looking back was painful for her.
643
00:33:47,021 --> 00:33:49,780
It doesn't mean
your time together wasn't meaningful.
644
00:33:49,781 --> 00:33:51,821
- Probably the opposite.
- Mm.
645
00:33:57,501 --> 00:33:58,900
This guy, your dad.
646
00:33:58,901 --> 00:34:00,260
[The Guide inhales]
647
00:34:00,261 --> 00:34:03,260
- What was he like? I just wanna know.
- [exhales] Why?
648
00:34:03,261 --> 00:34:06,020
- She cheated with him.
- You mean, followed your lead?
649
00:34:06,021 --> 00:34:07,621
Could you just tell me?
650
00:34:08,501 --> 00:34:11,980
I never knew much about him.
He was called Brian.
651
00:34:11,981 --> 00:34:13,620
- Brian?
- Yeah.
652
00:34:13,621 --> 00:34:15,220
And they were never together.
653
00:34:15,221 --> 00:34:17,820
And by the time I was born,
he was in Manchester.
654
00:34:17,821 --> 00:34:20,220
I saw him maybe five or six times.
655
00:34:20,221 --> 00:34:24,580
And the last time, he was ranting about
some online rabbit-hole conspiracy theory.
656
00:34:24,581 --> 00:34:27,140
And the year after that,
I heard he died of Covid.
657
00:34:27,141 --> 00:34:28,381
Oh boy.
658
00:34:29,181 --> 00:34:31,100
He sounds like a real catch.
659
00:34:31,101 --> 00:34:32,540
Great choice, Carol.
660
00:34:32,541 --> 00:34:34,341
[scoffs] Great choice.
661
00:34:35,141 --> 00:34:36,301
[Philip sighs]
662
00:34:40,861 --> 00:34:41,741
Sorry.
663
00:34:44,901 --> 00:34:45,741
It's okay.
664
00:34:46,941 --> 00:34:48,221
She'd agree. [chuckles]
665
00:34:49,621 --> 00:34:51,140
[pensive string music playing]
666
00:34:51,141 --> 00:34:54,780
She said she wrote to you to explain
or at least start the conversation,
667
00:34:54,781 --> 00:34:56,020
and you never replied.
668
00:34:56,021 --> 00:34:58,060
- She never wrote to me.
- It's what she told me.
669
00:34:58,061 --> 00:35:00,100
She never wrote! [scoffs]
670
00:35:00,101 --> 00:35:02,260
Or I never got it. I... I didn't get it.
671
00:35:02,261 --> 00:35:03,940
[splutters] I'd have listened.
672
00:35:03,941 --> 00:35:05,860
Yeah, and said, "Get rid of it."
673
00:35:05,861 --> 00:35:09,020
No! I don't know.
[splutters] We'd have talked it over.
674
00:35:09,021 --> 00:35:12,780
- And you'd have heard her?
- Yes, I would! Yes, I would!
675
00:35:12,781 --> 00:35:14,461
[music fades]
676
00:35:15,901 --> 00:35:17,140
[sighs, sniffles]
677
00:35:17,141 --> 00:35:18,661
I wanna get out of here.
678
00:35:19,221 --> 00:35:20,221
[sighs]
679
00:35:21,901 --> 00:35:22,941
[exhales]
680
00:35:31,061 --> 00:35:31,981
[sighs]
681
00:35:33,421 --> 00:35:34,381
[sighs]
682
00:35:36,781 --> 00:35:39,060
I just wanna see her, you know?
683
00:35:39,061 --> 00:35:41,820
Maybe there's something else
that could jog your memory?
684
00:35:41,821 --> 00:35:43,060
I don't know.
685
00:35:43,061 --> 00:35:45,380
Well, um, what about in that box?
686
00:35:45,381 --> 00:35:46,380
[Philip sighs]
687
00:35:46,381 --> 00:35:47,980
Is that, like, a camera there?
688
00:35:47,981 --> 00:35:49,620
- [sighs] This?
- Yeah.
689
00:35:49,621 --> 00:35:52,661
[chuckles] It's a disposable camera.
690
00:35:53,661 --> 00:35:55,661
Big in the '90s. I got it at the airport.
691
00:35:56,341 --> 00:35:58,780
The plan was we would take photos
around the city together.
692
00:35:58,781 --> 00:36:01,141
That never happened, of course. We never...
693
00:36:02,341 --> 00:36:04,341
[intriguing music playing]
694
00:36:14,861 --> 00:36:15,701
[Philip] Here.
695
00:36:17,661 --> 00:36:20,781
- I haven't seen one of these in forever.
- Can you still process it?
696
00:36:21,461 --> 00:36:24,741
- There's only one photo been taken.
- I know, I know, I know.
697
00:36:25,821 --> 00:36:27,701
- I'll have to wind it on.
- Okay.
698
00:36:28,341 --> 00:36:31,421
- You'll waste the rest of the film.
- But you can retrieve the one photo?
699
00:36:31,941 --> 00:36:32,940
Might take a while.
700
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:34,500
I'll wait. [sighs]
701
00:36:34,501 --> 00:36:36,021
Matte or gloss?
702
00:36:36,821 --> 00:36:37,701
Matte.
703
00:36:50,021 --> 00:36:51,420
[music fades]
704
00:36:51,421 --> 00:36:52,421
[The Guide] So?
705
00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:54,941
Was there anything on it?
706
00:37:03,101 --> 00:37:03,980
Here.
707
00:37:03,981 --> 00:37:06,340
I think I took this. Just a nothing photo.
708
00:37:06,341 --> 00:37:07,301
Oh.
709
00:37:09,261 --> 00:37:11,140
Look, we could still go in.
710
00:37:11,141 --> 00:37:12,820
[sighs] What's the point?
711
00:37:12,821 --> 00:37:16,220
Well, you took it on your trip,
so it might give us something.
712
00:37:16,221 --> 00:37:17,140
Sure.
713
00:37:17,141 --> 00:37:19,221
[suspenseful music playing]
714
00:37:20,101 --> 00:37:21,581
[Philip] Told you. It's nothing.
715
00:37:24,901 --> 00:37:26,300
This was the hotel room.
716
00:37:26,301 --> 00:37:29,700
When I came back from the restaurant,
her case was gone,
717
00:37:29,701 --> 00:37:30,941
so I knew that was that.
718
00:37:31,981 --> 00:37:33,021
[tuts]
719
00:37:34,181 --> 00:37:36,021
And I took it out on the room.
720
00:37:37,861 --> 00:37:38,981
It was pathetic.
721
00:37:41,461 --> 00:37:43,381
What are you even looking for?
722
00:37:43,901 --> 00:37:46,461
[The Guide] I just want to see
what your camera picked up.
723
00:37:51,021 --> 00:37:52,221
There's a note here.
724
00:37:52,741 --> 00:37:54,100
It says "Philly."
725
00:37:54,101 --> 00:37:55,940
System sharpened it up.
726
00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:58,020
There's a piece of paper
with "Philly" written on it.
727
00:37:58,021 --> 00:38:00,620
- That's what she called me.
- I'm pretty sure it's her writing.
728
00:38:00,621 --> 00:38:02,740
Well, I... I never saw that.
729
00:38:02,741 --> 00:38:05,020
- [Philip grunts]
- No, Philip, it's just part of an image.
730
00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:06,140
- You--
- Oh, come on.
731
00:38:06,141 --> 00:38:09,660
You won't be able to pick it up.
I'm sorry. That's just not how it works.
732
00:38:09,661 --> 00:38:10,741
No, come on.
733
00:38:11,981 --> 00:38:13,141
Please, come on.
734
00:38:14,501 --> 00:38:16,341
[grunts, pants]
735
00:38:19,821 --> 00:38:21,101
Get me out of here.
736
00:38:22,021 --> 00:38:23,021
[snorts]
737
00:38:24,341 --> 00:38:26,540
- Maybe you kept it somewhere.
- [sighs]
738
00:38:26,541 --> 00:38:28,180
- No.
- Are you sure?
739
00:38:28,181 --> 00:38:29,781
I'd fucking remember.
740
00:38:31,781 --> 00:38:33,221
[sighs] Sorry.
741
00:38:33,901 --> 00:38:34,901
It's okay.
742
00:38:35,821 --> 00:38:39,221
Let's just walk through
what you did after you took the photo.
743
00:38:44,341 --> 00:38:45,421
Um...
744
00:38:47,021 --> 00:38:49,261
I just smashed the room up. Uh...
745
00:38:50,981 --> 00:38:53,301
I went out, drank myself into a blur.
746
00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:55,900
And when I got back,
747
00:38:55,901 --> 00:38:58,620
the maid had cleaned the place up,
put it all in a little pile.
748
00:38:58,621 --> 00:39:00,260
I just packed everything up,
749
00:39:00,261 --> 00:39:02,100
I... I put it away, and I never...
750
00:39:02,101 --> 00:39:04,181
[ethereal music playing]
751
00:39:08,541 --> 00:39:09,501
Uh...
752
00:39:22,701 --> 00:39:23,781
[Philip sighs]
753
00:39:29,741 --> 00:39:31,861
[Carol] Philly, I have to
tell you something.
754
00:39:32,741 --> 00:39:35,060
I couldn't say earlier. I froze.
755
00:39:35,061 --> 00:39:36,141
I'm sorry.
756
00:39:37,741 --> 00:39:39,621
Please... please don't hate me.
757
00:39:41,861 --> 00:39:44,981
That day I rang and got Emma,
I was so mad.
758
00:39:48,061 --> 00:39:50,981
I had a one-night stand
with someone in the orchestra here.
759
00:39:52,301 --> 00:39:55,581
It didn't mean anything, and I'm sorry.
760
00:39:59,101 --> 00:40:00,381
I've missed my period.
761
00:40:01,501 --> 00:40:02,901
I don't know what to do.
762
00:40:03,821 --> 00:40:07,821
I love you, and I want us to work,
but I don't know how you'll feel.
763
00:40:08,941 --> 00:40:10,981
I think I wanna keep the baby.
764
00:40:11,901 --> 00:40:12,901
I don't know.
765
00:40:14,341 --> 00:40:16,261
But could you live with that if I did?
766
00:40:19,301 --> 00:40:20,860
If you still wanna talk,
767
00:40:20,861 --> 00:40:24,181
meet me tomorrow afternoon
at the stage door, after the matinee.
768
00:40:27,781 --> 00:40:30,621
I'll understand
if you never wanna see me again.
769
00:40:32,261 --> 00:40:33,141
I hope you do.
770
00:40:34,781 --> 00:40:35,861
I love you,
771
00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:37,941
Carol.
772
00:40:41,661 --> 00:40:43,661
[sobs]
773
00:40:47,781 --> 00:40:48,821
[sighs]
774
00:41:11,741 --> 00:41:13,741
[music subsides]
775
00:41:26,421 --> 00:41:27,701
[The Guide] I'm so sorry.
776
00:41:53,941 --> 00:41:55,541
[cassette clatters]
777
00:42:03,141 --> 00:42:04,700
[Carol chuckles] Okay, Philly.
778
00:42:04,701 --> 00:42:08,861
So you asked me to record
this piece of music for you.
779
00:42:09,501 --> 00:42:10,461
[Philip tuts]
780
00:42:11,581 --> 00:42:13,301
[Carol] Careful what you wish for.
781
00:42:15,301 --> 00:42:16,461
Let's see her.
782
00:42:18,341 --> 00:42:20,341
[poignant string music playing]
783
00:42:36,981 --> 00:42:38,981
[music fades]
784
00:43:09,461 --> 00:43:12,461
[cello music continues]
785
00:43:57,381 --> 00:43:59,381
[cello music continues]
786
00:44:52,661 --> 00:44:54,661
[cello music continues]
787
00:46:04,421 --> 00:46:06,421
[music fades]
788
00:46:06,421 --> 00:46:11,421
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789
00:46:06,421 --> 00:46:16,421
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