All language subtitles for Black Mirror S07E05 - Eulogy (Awafim.tv)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,461 --> 00:00:09,461 DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV 2 00:00:09,461 --> 00:00:11,461 [low, thrumming rumbling] 3 00:00:15,781 --> 00:00:17,781 [high-pitched tone] 4 00:00:20,861 --> 00:00:22,861 [ethereal music plays, fades] 5 00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:28,421 - [gentle string music playing] - [pruning shears click] 6 00:00:40,661 --> 00:00:42,620 [grunts, sighs] 7 00:00:42,621 --> 00:00:43,821 [phone ringing] 8 00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,181 [phone ringing] 9 00:00:54,981 --> 00:00:56,301 [phone ringing continues] 10 00:01:02,781 --> 00:01:03,860 Hello. 11 00:01:03,861 --> 00:01:06,701 [man] Hello. Am I speaking to Mr. Philip Connarthy? 12 00:01:07,221 --> 00:01:08,901 It's pronounced "Connarty." 13 00:01:09,701 --> 00:01:13,381 Apologies. I'm calling on behalf of a Miss Kelly Royce. 14 00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:15,700 I don't know a Kelly Royce. 15 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:19,380 Absolutely, but this regards Miss Royce's mother, Carol Royce. 16 00:01:19,381 --> 00:01:21,621 I don't know a Carol Royce either. 17 00:01:22,141 --> 00:01:24,901 Her maiden name was Hartman. Carol Hartman. 18 00:01:29,301 --> 00:01:30,741 Yeah, I know the name. 19 00:01:31,581 --> 00:01:32,581 Um... 20 00:01:35,141 --> 00:01:37,741 I knew her. Uh, sorry, why are you calling? 21 00:01:38,381 --> 00:01:40,981 I'm afraid she passed away last Wednesday. 22 00:01:42,181 --> 00:01:43,901 Her daughter wanted you to know. 23 00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:52,901 Hello? 24 00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:56,980 - Tell her I'm sorry for her loss. Uh... - Of course. 25 00:01:56,981 --> 00:01:58,541 Thank you for letting me know. 26 00:01:59,061 --> 00:02:02,421 There will, of course, be a funeral. In London. In England. 27 00:02:03,341 --> 00:02:04,421 In England. 28 00:02:06,701 --> 00:02:08,821 No, um, I can't. Uh... 29 00:02:09,341 --> 00:02:10,700 No, that's understood. 30 00:02:10,701 --> 00:02:14,541 I'm not calling about attendance. I'm from a company called Eulogy. 31 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:16,660 Eulogy, okay. 32 00:02:16,661 --> 00:02:19,861 We're helping the family curate an immersive memorial. 33 00:02:20,661 --> 00:02:22,220 Immersive memorial. Mm-hmm. 34 00:02:22,221 --> 00:02:24,860 We've been contacting names in her mother's old papers, 35 00:02:24,861 --> 00:02:26,500 which is where you were listed. 36 00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:29,580 Locating people who knew Carol in her youth has been challenging. 37 00:02:29,581 --> 00:02:33,140 If you could contribute a memory, it would mean a great deal to the family. 38 00:02:33,141 --> 00:02:37,420 - It was all so long ago, and I can't, um-- - Well, you won't have to write anything. 39 00:02:37,421 --> 00:02:41,181 The system curates your recollections and uploads them for the memorial. 40 00:02:41,701 --> 00:02:44,260 - Would you like to take part? - I'm not sure. 41 00:02:44,261 --> 00:02:45,940 It's entirely voluntary. 42 00:02:45,941 --> 00:02:49,301 If it's easier, we can just send you the kit, and you can decide then. 43 00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:50,780 The kit? 44 00:02:50,781 --> 00:02:53,701 [pensive music playing] 45 00:03:01,101 --> 00:03:02,101 [camera shutter clicks] 46 00:03:27,621 --> 00:03:29,621 [music fades] 47 00:03:37,061 --> 00:03:38,781 [haunting string music plays] 48 00:03:44,581 --> 00:03:46,061 - [woman's voice] Hello? - [startled] Ah! 49 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:48,941 Hello? 50 00:03:49,501 --> 00:03:50,421 [scoffs] 51 00:03:53,061 --> 00:03:54,220 [sighs] Hello? 52 00:03:54,221 --> 00:03:57,860 You don't have to speak directly into me. Sorry. I know, weird thing to say. 53 00:03:57,861 --> 00:03:58,940 Sorry. 54 00:03:58,941 --> 00:04:01,500 I've got a bit of an opening spiel I need to do here. 55 00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:03,021 - Go for it. - Okay. 56 00:04:04,341 --> 00:04:07,220 Today, we celebrate the life of Carol Royce. 57 00:04:07,221 --> 00:04:08,140 [chuckles] 58 00:04:08,141 --> 00:04:10,780 As guide, my role is to help you reminisce, relive, 59 00:04:10,781 --> 00:04:13,140 and to curate your fondest memories of her. 60 00:04:13,141 --> 00:04:16,500 Yeah, can we maybe skip the intro? Just tell me what you need me to do. 61 00:04:16,501 --> 00:04:17,660 Okay. Uh... 62 00:04:17,661 --> 00:04:21,420 So first, let's, um... let's calibrate. 63 00:04:21,421 --> 00:04:25,540 Simply place the guide disc, uh, that's me, on your temple. 64 00:04:25,541 --> 00:04:26,741 [scoffs] 65 00:04:27,421 --> 00:04:30,420 - This, like, on the side of my, like... - Mm-hmm. 66 00:04:30,421 --> 00:04:31,661 That's it. 67 00:04:33,021 --> 00:04:35,540 Now all you have to do is think of Carol. 68 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:37,740 Well, I haven't done that for a long time. 69 00:04:37,741 --> 00:04:39,141 Mm-hmm. Understood. 70 00:04:39,661 --> 00:04:41,581 But try to recall her now. 71 00:04:42,101 --> 00:04:45,020 Close your eyes and picture her face. 72 00:04:45,021 --> 00:04:47,101 [wistful string music playing] 73 00:04:52,221 --> 00:04:53,501 [sighs] 74 00:04:55,661 --> 00:04:57,740 Okay, uh, not really getting anything. 75 00:04:57,741 --> 00:05:00,940 Oh, well... sorry, but, um... 76 00:05:00,941 --> 00:05:03,380 Just, uh... just try to focus. 77 00:05:03,381 --> 00:05:05,541 I am, but it's hard to, uh... 78 00:05:06,061 --> 00:05:07,381 To see her clearly? 79 00:05:09,141 --> 00:05:10,020 Yes. 80 00:05:10,021 --> 00:05:11,820 At first, getting hold of a memory 81 00:05:11,821 --> 00:05:14,700 feels like trying to grab a river with your hands. 82 00:05:14,701 --> 00:05:17,820 - Oh boy. - Yeah, sorry, not my words. 83 00:05:17,821 --> 00:05:20,060 That's what the, uh, brochure says. 84 00:05:20,061 --> 00:05:21,820 What helps are tangible prompts. 85 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,220 Photos, songs, mementos. That kind of thing. 86 00:05:24,221 --> 00:05:25,580 Can't you supply photos? 87 00:05:25,581 --> 00:05:28,300 Oh, I'm not allowed to provide external material. 88 00:05:28,301 --> 00:05:30,300 - It would get mixed up with your memories. - Right. 89 00:05:30,301 --> 00:05:32,860 They do it this way to keep the recollections accurate. 90 00:05:32,861 --> 00:05:33,780 Right, right, right. 91 00:05:33,781 --> 00:05:36,340 But if you grant access to your photo cloud, 92 00:05:36,341 --> 00:05:37,940 I can search for images of Carol. 93 00:05:37,941 --> 00:05:41,100 Smartphones and clouds didn't exist back when I knew her. 94 00:05:41,101 --> 00:05:44,861 Um, okay, but do you have any physical photos? 95 00:05:45,981 --> 00:05:47,981 [wistful string music playing] 96 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,061 [sighs] 97 00:05:57,901 --> 00:05:58,781 [chuckles] 98 00:06:06,461 --> 00:06:07,581 [sighs] 99 00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:19,861 [groans] 100 00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:31,020 - Are you there? - Yeah, did you find some? 101 00:06:31,021 --> 00:06:32,541 - Uh, a few. - A few? 102 00:06:33,581 --> 00:06:34,540 Okay, three. 103 00:06:34,541 --> 00:06:37,700 - I can process up to 1,500 photos. - And I got you three. 104 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:40,821 They recommend a minimum of six different images. 105 00:06:41,421 --> 00:06:43,501 - Can we just get going? - Absolutely. 106 00:06:45,021 --> 00:06:46,820 - So? - So pop me back on. 107 00:06:46,821 --> 00:06:50,181 Lay out the first image you'd like to import and then look at it. 108 00:06:52,541 --> 00:06:54,580 - Literally just look at it? - That's right. 109 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:59,460 Okay. Uh, the first one is, uh... this. 110 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,260 Okay. What are we looking at here? 111 00:07:01,261 --> 00:07:03,980 That's the day I met Carol. This would've been in Brooklyn. 112 00:07:03,981 --> 00:07:05,940 Rooftop barbecue at The Coop. 113 00:07:05,941 --> 00:07:08,861 - The Coop? - Uh, yeah. It used to be a squat. Um... 114 00:07:09,381 --> 00:07:13,181 The idea was it was a co-op, so everyone just called it Coop, hence The Coop. 115 00:07:13,861 --> 00:07:15,580 I mean, we were just kids, really, 116 00:07:15,581 --> 00:07:19,741 but we called ourselves artists, musicians... misfits. 117 00:07:20,421 --> 00:07:25,941 Well, believe it or not, that, yeah, that young man is me, and that is Carol. 118 00:07:27,261 --> 00:07:29,620 What, the... the woman with her back to us? 119 00:07:29,621 --> 00:07:30,860 Yeah. 120 00:07:30,861 --> 00:07:33,340 We're looking for a clear recollection of her. 121 00:07:33,341 --> 00:07:34,540 This is what I have. 122 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:38,101 We can enhance the moment by entering the image. 123 00:07:39,061 --> 00:07:40,100 Shall we go in? 124 00:07:40,101 --> 00:07:43,661 - What do you mean "go in"? - It's easiest to just show you. 125 00:07:44,781 --> 00:07:46,941 - [gasps] - [intriguing music playing] 126 00:07:51,541 --> 00:07:52,741 [gasps] 127 00:07:54,381 --> 00:07:55,860 Jesus Christ. 128 00:07:55,861 --> 00:07:57,301 [music fades] 129 00:07:58,181 --> 00:07:59,500 - Hi. Sorry. - [startled] Ah! 130 00:07:59,501 --> 00:08:00,580 - [gasps] - [chuckles] 131 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,261 - [Philip relieved] Oh. - [laughs] It's me. 132 00:08:02,781 --> 00:08:04,060 - Your guide. - Holy crap. 133 00:08:04,061 --> 00:08:06,020 I didn't... didn't mean to make you jump. 134 00:08:06,021 --> 00:08:08,820 No, it... it's not... It's just that this is... 135 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,701 Yeah. Take a moment to get your bearings. 136 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:15,261 [Philip sighs] 137 00:08:19,821 --> 00:08:22,261 [The Guide] This is the photograph fused with your memories. 138 00:08:22,781 --> 00:08:23,860 Some parts are missing, 139 00:08:23,861 --> 00:08:26,901 but details appear as and when your memories fill out. 140 00:08:31,461 --> 00:08:35,420 So when this was taken, this was before you and Carol got together? 141 00:08:35,421 --> 00:08:36,660 [Philip] Huh... 142 00:08:36,661 --> 00:08:38,820 Well, I never said we got together. 143 00:08:38,821 --> 00:08:42,141 Oh, come on. Look at the way you're looking at her. 144 00:08:42,701 --> 00:08:45,900 And I'm guessing she was looking back at you the same way. 145 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,300 [wistful string music playing] 146 00:08:47,301 --> 00:08:48,661 I'd made her laugh. 147 00:08:50,141 --> 00:08:51,420 She was new in the house. 148 00:08:51,421 --> 00:08:53,620 I didn't know her, but I wanted to, 149 00:08:53,621 --> 00:08:55,181 and I'd made her laugh, 150 00:08:55,741 --> 00:08:56,901 and she looked... 151 00:08:57,461 --> 00:08:58,900 - Oh Christ. - It's okay. 152 00:08:58,901 --> 00:09:01,060 No, there's no... Um, I can't see her face. 153 00:09:01,061 --> 00:09:02,420 It'll come to you. 154 00:09:02,421 --> 00:09:05,780 Try to focus on what you can recall of this moment. 155 00:09:05,781 --> 00:09:07,140 [indistinct chattering] 156 00:09:07,141 --> 00:09:08,061 Okay. 157 00:09:10,741 --> 00:09:11,701 Um... 158 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,541 She had just moved in. Uh... 159 00:09:16,501 --> 00:09:18,980 She kept to herself. She had been studying the cello. 160 00:09:18,981 --> 00:09:21,781 She was usually in her room, practicing. 161 00:09:23,141 --> 00:09:26,020 I think she still had a boyfriend back home at this point. 162 00:09:26,021 --> 00:09:27,101 Fiancรฉ. 163 00:09:27,661 --> 00:09:28,500 Sorry? 164 00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:31,540 There's an engagement ring on her finger. See? 165 00:09:31,541 --> 00:09:34,420 The eye can't make that level of detail out in your photo, 166 00:09:34,421 --> 00:09:37,540 but there's enough for the algorithmic sharpening to make visible to us in here. 167 00:09:37,541 --> 00:09:39,460 I never knew she was engaged. 168 00:09:39,461 --> 00:09:42,260 Maybe you chose not to see or not to remember. 169 00:09:42,261 --> 00:09:44,420 No, she never said it was that serious. 170 00:09:44,421 --> 00:09:46,141 Perhaps she underplayed it. 171 00:09:47,061 --> 00:09:49,381 - Didn't wanna scare you off. - Uh-huh. 172 00:09:51,501 --> 00:09:55,221 Shall we mark this moment for potential upload for the memorial? 173 00:09:55,741 --> 00:09:58,900 I don't think her family would appreciate seeing a fond memory 174 00:09:58,901 --> 00:10:02,220 of her flirting with me while engaged to someone else. 175 00:10:02,221 --> 00:10:03,460 Hmm, you're right. 176 00:10:03,461 --> 00:10:07,061 Though it would be an honest representation of her character. 177 00:10:09,061 --> 00:10:10,061 Shall we move on? 178 00:10:11,061 --> 00:10:12,420 [gasps, gulps] 179 00:10:12,421 --> 00:10:14,501 [intriguing music playing] 180 00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:16,821 Jesus Christ. 181 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,301 Yeah. Don't worry. 182 00:10:19,941 --> 00:10:22,981 These transitions should get less disorientating as you go. 183 00:10:23,741 --> 00:10:25,461 Shall we try your next photo? 184 00:10:26,221 --> 00:10:27,181 Okay. 185 00:10:28,341 --> 00:10:29,780 Looks like another party. 186 00:10:29,781 --> 00:10:34,060 Uh, yeah, I can't remember what for. Any excuse would do, you know? 187 00:10:34,061 --> 00:10:35,220 That was The Coop. 188 00:10:35,221 --> 00:10:39,061 Okay. A lot of faces. Why don't you talk me through who's who? 189 00:10:39,581 --> 00:10:41,621 Uh, okay. 190 00:10:43,261 --> 00:10:45,500 That's Emma with the blonde hair. 191 00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:46,620 [indistinct chattering] 192 00:10:46,621 --> 00:10:49,261 [Philip] And the guy with the bong, that's Jamo. 193 00:10:51,061 --> 00:10:53,461 And the girl lying back there is Amanda. 194 00:10:54,101 --> 00:10:56,901 You'd have liked her. She was British, like you. 195 00:10:59,181 --> 00:11:01,101 But there's no Carol. 196 00:11:01,741 --> 00:11:02,781 Or you. 197 00:11:04,221 --> 00:11:08,981 No, we're not in the photo, but we were definitely both at this party. 198 00:11:09,541 --> 00:11:10,541 [The Guide] Mm. 199 00:11:11,741 --> 00:11:15,100 Looks like there was a record playing. "Fools Gold" by-- 200 00:11:15,101 --> 00:11:16,581 The Stone Roses. 201 00:11:17,221 --> 00:11:18,661 It's one of Amanda's. 202 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,740 Music's great for jogging the memory. 203 00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:23,621 ["Fools Gold" playing] 204 00:11:32,741 --> 00:11:34,741 [indistinct chattering] 205 00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:37,181 [Philip] There. 206 00:11:38,701 --> 00:11:39,541 Right. 207 00:11:40,261 --> 00:11:41,221 Yeah. 208 00:11:43,421 --> 00:11:44,741 We were through there, 209 00:11:45,661 --> 00:11:46,741 down the hall. 210 00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:52,381 That was the first time me and Carol really got talking. 211 00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:54,741 I was so nervous. 212 00:11:55,581 --> 00:12:00,141 My brain was screaming behind my ears, "Don't fuck this up, man." 213 00:12:04,021 --> 00:12:05,501 But I didn't fuck it up. 214 00:12:07,181 --> 00:12:09,101 Talking with her was easy. 215 00:12:09,941 --> 00:12:11,301 She was funny. 216 00:12:12,621 --> 00:12:14,781 Can you remember what you talked about? 217 00:12:17,381 --> 00:12:18,581 No, but 218 00:12:20,221 --> 00:12:22,221 she was like no one I'd ever known. 219 00:12:23,141 --> 00:12:24,861 Or even thought of knowing. 220 00:12:25,901 --> 00:12:26,981 [laughter] 221 00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:32,861 That was our first night together. 222 00:12:37,461 --> 00:12:39,061 [sighs, chuckles] 223 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,100 I can't use this either, can I? 224 00:12:43,101 --> 00:12:46,061 "I screwed the deceased. May she rest in peace." 225 00:12:46,701 --> 00:12:47,701 Probably not. 226 00:12:49,661 --> 00:12:50,541 [sighs] 227 00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:53,061 Um, let's try your last photo. 228 00:12:53,821 --> 00:12:55,301 [sighs] Uh... 229 00:12:56,581 --> 00:12:57,700 Me again. 230 00:12:57,701 --> 00:12:59,420 What the hell was I wearing? 231 00:12:59,421 --> 00:13:00,820 [both chuckle] 232 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,860 Don't have a clue who took this. I didn't notice anyone taking it. 233 00:13:03,861 --> 00:13:05,380 But still no sign of Carol. 234 00:13:05,381 --> 00:13:06,940 No. But I was listening... 235 00:13:06,941 --> 00:13:08,901 [intriguing music playing] 236 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:10,341 ...to her. 237 00:13:13,781 --> 00:13:15,380 [footsteps approaching] 238 00:13:15,381 --> 00:13:16,941 [Philip] She was in her room. 239 00:13:17,941 --> 00:13:20,061 On her cello, practicing. 240 00:13:21,861 --> 00:13:22,861 Lost in it. 241 00:13:24,061 --> 00:13:25,901 She didn't know I was watching. 242 00:13:27,101 --> 00:13:29,101 [music fades] 243 00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:35,181 - She's in there, but I can't see her. - Can you remember what she was playing? 244 00:13:36,581 --> 00:13:40,580 This thing she used to play over and over. It was a beautiful piece of music. 245 00:13:40,581 --> 00:13:43,501 If you can remember the name of the piece, I can look it up. 246 00:13:44,021 --> 00:13:45,981 Listening might fill out the memory. 247 00:13:47,781 --> 00:13:50,021 No, it won't be on a service. 248 00:13:51,021 --> 00:13:52,381 She wrote it herself. 249 00:13:53,301 --> 00:13:54,740 It was a piece she composed? 250 00:13:54,741 --> 00:13:56,661 Yeah. She was good. 251 00:13:58,461 --> 00:13:59,701 She was good. 252 00:14:01,781 --> 00:14:02,621 [Philip sighs] 253 00:14:03,141 --> 00:14:06,420 It's a shame you don't have more photos, but since that's all you have, 254 00:14:06,421 --> 00:14:08,620 perhaps we should try some other form of stimuli-- 255 00:14:08,621 --> 00:14:09,621 It's not. 256 00:14:10,461 --> 00:14:11,301 Sorry? 257 00:14:12,741 --> 00:14:14,540 [eerie music sting] 258 00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:16,261 I've got other pictures. 259 00:14:17,301 --> 00:14:18,180 Of her. 260 00:14:18,181 --> 00:14:20,421 Great! Then let's look at those. 261 00:14:21,981 --> 00:14:23,061 They won't help. 262 00:14:24,421 --> 00:14:26,861 [ethereal string music playing] 263 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,581 [sighs] See what I mean? 264 00:14:44,661 --> 00:14:45,541 Yeah. 265 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,660 A year or so after we broke up, 266 00:14:50,661 --> 00:14:54,100 if it had her face in it, I either threw it out or I did that. 267 00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,020 - You were upset with her. - [chuckles] 268 00:14:56,021 --> 00:14:57,981 That's one way of putting it, yeah. 269 00:15:02,141 --> 00:15:04,980 You won't ever know how hard I fell for that girl. 270 00:15:04,981 --> 00:15:07,021 Like, beyond everything. 271 00:15:09,061 --> 00:15:12,580 And she said... she always said she felt the same, 272 00:15:12,581 --> 00:15:14,741 and I believed she felt the same, 273 00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:16,861 and then she drops me. 274 00:15:20,581 --> 00:15:23,580 Into a pit. Just a fucking pit. 275 00:15:23,581 --> 00:15:24,980 Just cold, bang. 276 00:15:24,981 --> 00:15:26,501 Just, "See ya." 277 00:15:27,941 --> 00:15:29,661 Not a word. Just walks away. 278 00:15:32,461 --> 00:15:35,780 And she went on with her life while mine just stopped. 279 00:15:35,781 --> 00:15:37,620 So that was me. 280 00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:40,221 Lost. No hope. Nothing. 281 00:15:41,821 --> 00:15:46,501 [sighs] So then came the drinking, all that shit, the desperation of it. 282 00:15:47,621 --> 00:15:48,861 The fucking shame. 283 00:15:49,661 --> 00:15:51,620 Me and Carol were together three years. 284 00:15:51,621 --> 00:15:55,460 It took me 15 to climb out of the hole she put me in. 285 00:15:55,461 --> 00:15:59,581 - So, yes. I was upset. - And you never stayed in touch? 286 00:16:00,861 --> 00:16:02,100 [laughs] 287 00:16:02,101 --> 00:16:03,220 Uh, no. 288 00:16:03,221 --> 00:16:05,301 [laughs] No, we did not. 289 00:16:06,101 --> 00:16:08,980 Reexamining the past isn't always comfortable, but-- 290 00:16:08,981 --> 00:16:10,740 Okay, sorry. 291 00:16:10,741 --> 00:16:12,141 But, yeah, 292 00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:16,780 there were good times... when we were together. 293 00:16:16,781 --> 00:16:18,741 I know that. But, uh... 294 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,141 that's all gone. 295 00:16:23,101 --> 00:16:25,421 I can't even picture her face anymore. 296 00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:28,020 Do you want to stop? 297 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:30,101 [wistful string music playing] 298 00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:32,981 No. 299 00:16:33,581 --> 00:16:35,500 Well, do you have any particular memories 300 00:16:35,501 --> 00:16:37,980 associated with what's left of these photos? 301 00:16:37,981 --> 00:16:39,461 I don't-- Um... 302 00:16:40,381 --> 00:16:41,860 Used to, maybe? I don't know. 303 00:16:41,861 --> 00:16:43,700 It's just the more you can recall, 304 00:16:43,701 --> 00:16:47,261 the more likely it is we can restore your memory of her face. 305 00:16:51,421 --> 00:16:53,781 All right, then. Let's... let's try this one. 306 00:16:54,501 --> 00:16:55,420 Which one's you? 307 00:16:55,421 --> 00:16:56,700 [laughs] 308 00:16:56,701 --> 00:16:57,980 Sorry, I'm joking. 309 00:16:57,981 --> 00:16:59,380 Oh, you're hilarious. 310 00:16:59,381 --> 00:17:01,740 What do you remember about the day this was taken? 311 00:17:01,741 --> 00:17:02,740 It was wet. 312 00:17:02,741 --> 00:17:04,140 Well, that's a start. 313 00:17:04,141 --> 00:17:06,221 Let's see what else you can recall. 314 00:17:08,701 --> 00:17:10,340 [The Guide] So where exactly are we? 315 00:17:10,341 --> 00:17:12,060 Uh, the pier at Cape Cod. 316 00:17:12,061 --> 00:17:13,420 [Philip chuckles] 317 00:17:13,421 --> 00:17:15,140 Well, that's where you live now. 318 00:17:15,141 --> 00:17:19,140 Yeah, well, I inherited my folks' house, but they were out of town, 319 00:17:19,141 --> 00:17:22,781 so we took the opportunity to take a cheap little vacation. 320 00:17:24,821 --> 00:17:27,021 My first getaway with a girlfriend. 321 00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:29,421 Who took the photo? 322 00:17:30,381 --> 00:17:32,500 Uh, just a tourist. 323 00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:35,461 Some passerby we handed the camera to and asked. 324 00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:41,420 I liked this photo more than Carol did. 325 00:17:41,421 --> 00:17:44,421 - She wasn't into hot dogs? - No, it was the beer. 326 00:17:45,261 --> 00:17:47,260 "You could've put that bottle down for the picture." 327 00:17:47,261 --> 00:17:49,300 [chuckles] Well, yeah. She had a point. 328 00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:50,381 Yeah. 329 00:17:51,261 --> 00:17:53,741 You know, it was on this trip that we knew we were serious. 330 00:17:56,021 --> 00:18:00,101 Lying in bed, fascinated by each other's eyes. 331 00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:03,780 "I love you" back and forth, all that. 332 00:18:03,781 --> 00:18:06,021 Nothing else existed. Just us. 333 00:18:06,581 --> 00:18:07,861 That's all we needed. 334 00:18:11,021 --> 00:18:12,141 We made plans. 335 00:18:13,661 --> 00:18:15,701 Man, we were so young. 336 00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:20,340 [sentimental music playing] 337 00:18:20,341 --> 00:18:22,100 So what were the plans? 338 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,060 Well, we decided to get our own place together. 339 00:18:25,061 --> 00:18:28,021 Oh, black and white? That's a bit arty. 340 00:18:30,701 --> 00:18:33,341 [Philip] This was it. Tiny place over a piano store. 341 00:18:34,341 --> 00:18:38,220 Uh, I took the picture, so I would have been about there. 342 00:18:38,221 --> 00:18:39,381 [The Guide] Mm. 343 00:18:39,981 --> 00:18:42,461 Can you remember what color she's painting with here? 344 00:18:42,981 --> 00:18:46,220 [Philip] The walls were nicotine-yellow when we moved in. 345 00:18:46,221 --> 00:18:48,981 First place of our own for both of us. 346 00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:55,141 We wanted to make our mark, so we painted the whole place... blue. 347 00:18:56,221 --> 00:18:58,661 [chuckles] Yeah, that's it. Blue. 348 00:18:59,261 --> 00:19:00,740 [laughs] Yes! 349 00:19:00,741 --> 00:19:02,301 [laughs] 350 00:19:03,021 --> 00:19:07,301 Oh my God, the landlord lost his shit. We weren't supposed to redecorate. 351 00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:09,940 It was a stupid idea, really. 352 00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:12,580 It made it look even smaller than it already was. 353 00:19:12,581 --> 00:19:15,021 - The two of you were happy here? - Mm-hmm. 354 00:19:15,581 --> 00:19:16,661 Just me and her. 355 00:19:17,381 --> 00:19:18,381 And the cello. 356 00:19:18,981 --> 00:19:22,701 Yeah, we both kept up the music. She'd joined the band by now. 357 00:19:23,581 --> 00:19:26,341 - You were in a band together? - Oh yeah. I'll show you. 358 00:19:27,581 --> 00:19:29,380 Here, it's one of our gigs. 359 00:19:29,381 --> 00:19:32,301 It's about... '91, I think. 360 00:19:34,861 --> 00:19:36,301 I stabbed it with a pen. 361 00:19:37,181 --> 00:19:38,380 Will it still work? 362 00:19:38,381 --> 00:19:39,500 Should do. 363 00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:41,741 - [muffled rock music playing] - There we are. 364 00:19:43,741 --> 00:19:45,700 So Carol played keyboards? 365 00:19:45,701 --> 00:19:47,380 Yeah, that was my idea. 366 00:19:47,381 --> 00:19:48,301 Not cello? 367 00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:51,101 Cello wouldn't have fitted our sound. 368 00:19:51,741 --> 00:19:53,340 You could adapt the sound. 369 00:19:53,341 --> 00:19:54,500 She could play anything. 370 00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:56,860 It might not have been the cello, but she was fine with it. 371 00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,221 She told you that? 372 00:19:59,501 --> 00:20:00,740 Sorry, it's not a trial. 373 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:01,941 [Philip] No, it's not. 374 00:20:02,461 --> 00:20:03,461 [Philip chuckles] 375 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,340 We were getting quite a following. 376 00:20:07,341 --> 00:20:09,421 - [music continues] - [crowd cheering] 377 00:20:12,541 --> 00:20:15,621 I'm not saying we were a big deal, but maybe we could've been. 378 00:20:18,781 --> 00:20:22,140 Have you got a recording? It might bring back more of the moment. 379 00:20:22,141 --> 00:20:23,700 Not anymore, no. 380 00:20:23,701 --> 00:20:27,581 Zeke quit the band, moved to Seattle, decided he was God, 381 00:20:28,341 --> 00:20:29,740 and that was it for us. 382 00:20:29,741 --> 00:20:31,541 So, no, no recording. 383 00:20:33,421 --> 00:20:35,180 It's just as well. 384 00:20:35,181 --> 00:20:37,620 Hearing his voice gives me hives, to be honest. 385 00:20:37,621 --> 00:20:39,780 He went on to become a big deal, didn't he? 386 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,021 Yeah, well, assholes prosper. 387 00:20:43,821 --> 00:20:46,101 Maybe we could've kept going without him, but 388 00:20:47,261 --> 00:20:48,581 Carol's heart wasn't in it. 389 00:20:49,101 --> 00:20:53,060 - Maybe you should have let her play cello. - Maybe you could say "cello" again. 390 00:20:53,061 --> 00:20:55,220 - Well, the cello was important to her. - I know. 391 00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:57,860 She played it her whole life. Taught her daughter to play it. 392 00:20:57,861 --> 00:21:01,701 Are you supposed to be mildly annoying? Is that how they coded you? 393 00:21:02,741 --> 00:21:04,061 I wasn't really coded. 394 00:21:04,661 --> 00:21:06,780 - More generated. - Okay. 395 00:21:06,781 --> 00:21:09,021 Generated from some digital asshole. 396 00:21:14,701 --> 00:21:15,541 Sorry. 397 00:21:17,301 --> 00:21:18,621 Apology accepted. 398 00:21:20,421 --> 00:21:22,221 Let's try another picture. 399 00:21:25,981 --> 00:21:29,660 Okay, so these are definitely all '91. 400 00:21:29,661 --> 00:21:32,460 - Halloween at the Undervault. - Oh, this is good. 401 00:21:32,461 --> 00:21:36,061 With multiple photos, we'll get a composite of the entire night. 402 00:21:36,701 --> 00:21:37,740 [indistinct chattering] 403 00:21:37,741 --> 00:21:39,780 [Philip] Yeah, Jamo took a whole bunch. 404 00:21:39,781 --> 00:21:42,661 Wild night. A lot of drinking. And I mean a lot. 405 00:21:44,101 --> 00:21:48,620 Jesus, that's Carol in red there. I was so mad, I used a cigarette on this. 406 00:21:48,621 --> 00:21:51,660 - You burned your own face out too? - That's not me. 407 00:21:51,661 --> 00:21:53,661 [music playing on speakers] 408 00:21:54,621 --> 00:21:56,780 That's me in the hockey mask. 409 00:21:56,781 --> 00:21:58,540 I had the bar job by now. 410 00:21:58,541 --> 00:21:59,860 So who's Beetlejuice? 411 00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:03,461 Just some dickbag trying his luck with my girlfriend. 412 00:22:04,141 --> 00:22:08,340 Even though you're standing right there dressed like Jason from Friday the 13th? 413 00:22:08,341 --> 00:22:12,221 Exactly. I was that close, and she still just sat with this guy. 414 00:22:12,741 --> 00:22:13,740 Right in front of me. 415 00:22:13,741 --> 00:22:15,860 [The Guide] Looks like you had company too. 416 00:22:15,861 --> 00:22:16,941 Who's she? 417 00:22:17,541 --> 00:22:18,540 Oh, that's Emma. 418 00:22:18,541 --> 00:22:20,900 She was in The Coop photos earlier. 419 00:22:20,901 --> 00:22:22,581 [Philip] Yeah, she worked there too. 420 00:22:25,421 --> 00:22:26,901 The two of you get on? 421 00:22:27,501 --> 00:22:28,501 We worked together. 422 00:22:31,341 --> 00:22:32,981 Oh Jesus. Not you too. 423 00:22:33,661 --> 00:22:34,741 [scoffs] 424 00:22:37,301 --> 00:22:40,620 Carol thought I encouraged her, which I didn't. 425 00:22:40,621 --> 00:22:43,780 It was a bar job, for Christ's sake. You joke around. [chuckles] You know? 426 00:22:43,781 --> 00:22:45,261 So she was jealous? 427 00:22:46,421 --> 00:22:48,380 We fought about it that night. 428 00:22:48,381 --> 00:22:51,901 I was pissed she'd been sitting all night with Mr. Asshole. 429 00:22:52,421 --> 00:22:54,421 Looks like she wants to get away from him. 430 00:22:55,461 --> 00:22:56,301 [Philip] What? 431 00:22:57,021 --> 00:23:00,221 She's leaning back, like his breath smells. 432 00:23:01,821 --> 00:23:03,500 Okay, that's one snapshot. 433 00:23:03,501 --> 00:23:05,580 Believe me, she could've moved anytime. 434 00:23:05,581 --> 00:23:07,860 - She was there the whole night with him. - The whole night? 435 00:23:07,861 --> 00:23:09,021 Absolutely. 436 00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:12,380 I think so. 437 00:23:12,381 --> 00:23:13,900 See that area? 438 00:23:13,901 --> 00:23:16,780 Jamo must've photographed it at some other point that night. 439 00:23:16,781 --> 00:23:19,341 Isn't that Carol with her back to us in red? 440 00:23:21,141 --> 00:23:23,381 Okay, not the whole night, literally. 441 00:23:26,741 --> 00:23:28,701 It was just a stupid fight. 442 00:23:31,701 --> 00:23:33,660 She went on and on, 443 00:23:33,661 --> 00:23:36,900 and then she blamed me that she didn't get an early night 444 00:23:36,901 --> 00:23:40,620 'cause she had some audition tryout thing the next day. 445 00:23:40,621 --> 00:23:42,101 Brooklyn Philharmonic. 446 00:23:42,861 --> 00:23:44,060 For the cello. 447 00:23:44,061 --> 00:23:45,300 And she didn't get it. 448 00:23:45,301 --> 00:23:47,220 She must've been sad about that. 449 00:23:47,221 --> 00:23:48,860 Not for long. [sighs] 450 00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:51,061 It opened the door to other things for her. 451 00:23:52,221 --> 00:23:55,620 When the orchestra gig didn't work out, she was bummed. 452 00:23:55,621 --> 00:23:57,181 She didn't have any work. 453 00:23:58,181 --> 00:24:01,220 But then Amanda, the British girl from The Coop, 454 00:24:01,221 --> 00:24:02,821 she'd moved back home, 455 00:24:03,501 --> 00:24:05,100 pulled a couple of strings. 456 00:24:05,101 --> 00:24:06,900 Got Carol a six-month placement 457 00:24:06,901 --> 00:24:10,340 in the orchestra pit for Phantom of the Opera, of all things. 458 00:24:10,341 --> 00:24:11,941 London's West End. 459 00:24:13,101 --> 00:24:15,061 Total tourist bullshit, but 460 00:24:16,221 --> 00:24:17,780 she was excited. 461 00:24:17,781 --> 00:24:19,260 Yes, she was. 462 00:24:19,261 --> 00:24:20,781 You didn't want her to go? 463 00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:24,221 Oh, she kept saying, "It's just for a few months," but 464 00:24:24,901 --> 00:24:28,181 it's easy to say that when you're the one going on an adventure. 465 00:24:29,181 --> 00:24:30,181 [sighs] 466 00:24:32,261 --> 00:24:33,940 She sent me a postcard every week. 467 00:24:33,941 --> 00:24:36,341 Upbeat, but saying she missed me. 468 00:24:36,901 --> 00:24:38,700 Little poems and such. 469 00:24:38,701 --> 00:24:41,180 Maybe we could scan in one of the... 470 00:24:41,181 --> 00:24:42,941 - Oh. - I was thorough. 471 00:24:43,701 --> 00:24:45,660 So you didn't see her for a while? 472 00:24:45,661 --> 00:24:48,500 No, but we arranged for me to fly out there in the fall, 473 00:24:48,501 --> 00:24:50,301 see her for a long weekend, but 474 00:24:51,661 --> 00:24:53,661 it felt so far away, you know? 475 00:24:54,341 --> 00:24:55,821 A long time on my own. 476 00:24:56,781 --> 00:24:57,941 What's this? 477 00:24:58,741 --> 00:24:59,581 My birthday. 478 00:25:01,021 --> 00:25:03,300 So you weren't alone the whole time she was gone. 479 00:25:03,301 --> 00:25:04,300 What do you mean? 480 00:25:04,301 --> 00:25:06,301 Well, someone took this photo. 481 00:25:06,821 --> 00:25:08,821 [mysterious music playing] 482 00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:15,860 So that's... 483 00:25:15,861 --> 00:25:17,141 Emma. [sighs] 484 00:25:17,661 --> 00:25:19,821 Oh God, yeah. 485 00:25:20,421 --> 00:25:21,341 Uh... 486 00:25:22,341 --> 00:25:24,341 Oh Christ, yeah. [chuckles] 487 00:25:24,901 --> 00:25:26,700 Um, don't look at me like that. 488 00:25:26,701 --> 00:25:28,500 - [The Guide] Like what? - Like you are. 489 00:25:28,501 --> 00:25:30,460 I'm not looking at you like anything. 490 00:25:30,461 --> 00:25:31,661 [groans] 491 00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:34,100 [chuckles] 492 00:25:34,101 --> 00:25:36,540 Okay, so it was my birthday. 493 00:25:36,541 --> 00:25:38,140 I had a few drinks at work. 494 00:25:38,141 --> 00:25:41,140 Uh, not my idea. They were practically forcing shots on me. 495 00:25:41,141 --> 00:25:42,060 [The Guide] Sure. 496 00:25:42,061 --> 00:25:44,500 And Emma came back to the apartment, and, you know... 497 00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,260 Uh, we weren't... [scoffs] 498 00:25:46,261 --> 00:25:49,260 [splutters] It was a dumb thing, okay? 499 00:25:49,261 --> 00:25:51,501 It was just a one-off thing. 500 00:25:52,781 --> 00:25:53,901 [sighs] 501 00:25:54,701 --> 00:25:58,900 I mean, we'd... we'd have just regretted it, me and Emma, in secret. 502 00:25:58,901 --> 00:26:01,540 It wouldn't have been a big fucking deal if... 503 00:26:01,541 --> 00:26:02,700 If what? 504 00:26:02,701 --> 00:26:04,341 [phone ringing] 505 00:26:06,981 --> 00:26:08,621 [phone ringing] 506 00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:12,860 I mean, Carol never called. 507 00:26:12,861 --> 00:26:14,260 Couldn't afford to. 508 00:26:14,261 --> 00:26:16,860 - Long distance back then was a fortune. - [phone ringing] 509 00:26:16,861 --> 00:26:18,540 But this night, 510 00:26:18,541 --> 00:26:22,140 she gets up early and called to sing me "Happy Birthday," 511 00:26:22,141 --> 00:26:24,140 and Emma answers the call. 512 00:26:24,141 --> 00:26:25,341 I don't know why. 513 00:26:26,061 --> 00:26:28,701 - Making mischief? - Yeah, I don't know, maybe. 514 00:26:30,341 --> 00:26:32,141 Anyhow, shit hit the fan. 515 00:26:34,341 --> 00:26:36,620 Me and Carol screaming at each other down the line. 516 00:26:36,621 --> 00:26:40,541 She yelled all kinds of shit. I yelled all kinds of shit back. 517 00:26:41,061 --> 00:26:42,221 [sighs] 518 00:26:42,861 --> 00:26:45,501 Just ugly, scorched-earth stuff. 519 00:26:46,941 --> 00:26:47,821 Ugly. 520 00:26:49,141 --> 00:26:50,101 [sighs] 521 00:26:50,621 --> 00:26:51,740 She hung up on me. 522 00:26:51,741 --> 00:26:53,260 Or I hung up on her. 523 00:26:53,261 --> 00:26:55,701 I don't know. I can't fucking remember. 524 00:27:00,821 --> 00:27:01,781 [sighs] 525 00:27:04,221 --> 00:27:05,661 But, yeah, anyway, 526 00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:07,501 not good. 527 00:27:08,141 --> 00:27:11,901 Do you want to mark this memory for potential upload? For the memorial? 528 00:27:12,421 --> 00:27:13,780 I never said I was perfect. 529 00:27:13,781 --> 00:27:16,140 You've said a lot about Carol's failings. 530 00:27:16,141 --> 00:27:18,860 "She did this, she did that, she's the root of all evil." 531 00:27:18,861 --> 00:27:20,860 [chuckles] Okay, you don't understand. 532 00:27:20,861 --> 00:27:23,260 What did she do that was so awful, so heinous, 533 00:27:23,261 --> 00:27:25,460 you become this wounded dog? 534 00:27:25,461 --> 00:27:27,261 I haven't shown you yet. 535 00:27:30,341 --> 00:27:32,341 [solemn string music playing] 536 00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:39,980 You remember I told you we arranged for me to fly out there? 537 00:27:39,981 --> 00:27:41,940 - Mm-hmm. - I already had my ticket, so... 538 00:27:41,941 --> 00:27:44,100 - So Carol knew you were coming. - Right. 539 00:27:44,101 --> 00:27:46,181 A few months or so after my birthday. 540 00:27:47,221 --> 00:27:49,940 Now, she was staying in this British family's spare room 541 00:27:49,941 --> 00:27:51,140 in the sticks somewhere, 542 00:27:51,141 --> 00:27:54,861 so I booked us a stupid suite in a hotel I couldn't afford. [chuckles] 543 00:27:55,421 --> 00:27:56,460 Big romantic. 544 00:27:56,461 --> 00:27:57,900 [chuckles] Nice. 545 00:27:57,901 --> 00:27:59,381 I went to the matinee. 546 00:28:00,461 --> 00:28:03,341 Not my thing, and I couldn't even see her, of course. 547 00:28:03,901 --> 00:28:08,661 She was in the pit somewhere, but... I met her at the stage door after. 548 00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:12,060 I took her suitcase back to the hotel, 549 00:28:12,061 --> 00:28:13,101 and... 550 00:28:15,341 --> 00:28:17,060 we went out for dinner. 551 00:28:17,061 --> 00:28:18,061 Anywhere nice? 552 00:28:22,421 --> 00:28:24,060 To a fancy restaurant. 553 00:28:24,061 --> 00:28:26,341 I'd read this article about it on the flight. 554 00:28:26,901 --> 00:28:30,061 When I landed, I called to see if they had a table for two. 555 00:28:30,981 --> 00:28:35,380 I think they bumped someone when I told them what I was gonna do. 556 00:28:35,381 --> 00:28:36,541 What do you mean? 557 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:48,181 [ethereal string music playing] 558 00:28:58,821 --> 00:28:59,901 We were over here. 559 00:29:01,941 --> 00:29:03,621 So walk through what happened. 560 00:29:09,061 --> 00:29:10,661 Well, uh... 561 00:29:13,581 --> 00:29:16,261 she looked kind of the same but different. 562 00:29:18,061 --> 00:29:20,500 She said she'd put on weight, but I couldn't see that. 563 00:29:20,501 --> 00:29:22,181 I thought she looked beautiful. 564 00:29:23,821 --> 00:29:27,940 And I ordered a bottle of champagne. First time I'd done that anywhere. 565 00:29:27,941 --> 00:29:31,341 But she didn't touch it. She didn't wanna drink anything. 566 00:29:32,421 --> 00:29:36,140 And I was like, "Come on." [chuckles] "I've come all this way. Have one." 567 00:29:36,141 --> 00:29:37,221 But no. 568 00:29:39,421 --> 00:29:42,981 So I had to bite my tongue because, you know, it was irritating. 569 00:29:44,221 --> 00:29:47,180 I had the ring in my pocket, so I was nervous. 570 00:29:47,181 --> 00:29:49,460 I'm draining the glasses. 571 00:29:49,461 --> 00:29:52,740 And, finally, I pluck up the nerve, 572 00:29:52,741 --> 00:29:55,661 and I take out the ring, and I almost dropped it. 573 00:29:56,181 --> 00:29:57,461 I was so jittery. 574 00:30:00,821 --> 00:30:03,421 And she looks at it, and... 575 00:30:05,821 --> 00:30:06,981 she goes quiet. 576 00:30:08,541 --> 00:30:10,620 She doesn't say anything. 577 00:30:10,621 --> 00:30:12,581 She doesn't even look at me. 578 00:30:15,541 --> 00:30:17,580 And now the waitresses are shooting looks over 579 00:30:17,581 --> 00:30:21,260 'cause they know I'm there to propose, so I'm on display, you know? 580 00:30:21,261 --> 00:30:24,340 My cheeks are burning. My throat is dry, so I'm drinking more. 581 00:30:24,341 --> 00:30:28,061 And then, in the end, I just... I ask her, "Just say something." 582 00:30:31,021 --> 00:30:32,861 "Say anything." [sighs] 583 00:30:34,341 --> 00:30:36,100 And she's just staring at the floor, 584 00:30:36,101 --> 00:30:38,540 so I bang the table with my fist, 585 00:30:38,541 --> 00:30:41,261 and now everybody's watching, 586 00:30:42,941 --> 00:30:44,341 and she just gets up... 587 00:30:48,501 --> 00:30:49,621 and walks out. 588 00:30:55,541 --> 00:30:59,301 There's just silence. There's just the clanging in the kitchen. 589 00:31:01,821 --> 00:31:03,341 And I'm there, and 590 00:31:04,461 --> 00:31:06,940 everyone's quiet, the staff can't make eye contact, 591 00:31:06,941 --> 00:31:10,621 just this stink of humiliation on me. 592 00:31:15,861 --> 00:31:16,941 [hand thuds] 593 00:31:18,301 --> 00:31:20,581 So I sat there, and I finished that bottle. 594 00:31:22,341 --> 00:31:25,180 They told me I didn't have to pay for it, but I insisted I would. 595 00:31:25,181 --> 00:31:28,581 - I didn't want their pity. - No, because you could provide your own. 596 00:31:32,101 --> 00:31:32,941 What? 597 00:31:37,501 --> 00:31:40,301 You're talking a lot about how sad you were. 598 00:31:41,261 --> 00:31:42,380 I was destroyed. 599 00:31:42,381 --> 00:31:43,700 And how was she? 600 00:31:43,701 --> 00:31:47,500 I'm not saying that she was a big, happy fucking sandwich, 601 00:31:47,501 --> 00:31:49,420 but she walked out on me. 602 00:31:49,421 --> 00:31:50,580 Not a word as to why. 603 00:31:50,581 --> 00:31:54,740 Would you have listened if she told you? A bottle of champagne down. 604 00:31:54,741 --> 00:31:57,261 - Of course. - So why do you think she left? 605 00:31:57,781 --> 00:31:59,181 Maybe she was cheating. 606 00:32:00,861 --> 00:32:04,141 Maybe she was sick of me. Maybe she was cruel. 607 00:32:04,981 --> 00:32:08,860 She... she knew that I was coming. She could have ended it on the phone. 608 00:32:08,861 --> 00:32:10,980 She made me fly all that way. She knew-- 609 00:32:10,981 --> 00:32:13,380 But not that you were coming to propose. 610 00:32:13,381 --> 00:32:15,181 Like that's a big difference. 611 00:32:17,141 --> 00:32:19,260 You said this was autumn '92? 612 00:32:19,261 --> 00:32:20,860 Fall, yes, like October. 613 00:32:20,861 --> 00:32:23,461 She looked sort of different. Wouldn't drink. 614 00:32:24,421 --> 00:32:25,821 She was pregnant. 615 00:32:26,941 --> 00:32:27,901 With me. 616 00:32:34,301 --> 00:32:35,341 Kelly Royce. 617 00:32:36,021 --> 00:32:37,301 Carol's daughter. 618 00:32:37,901 --> 00:32:40,021 The one she taught to play cello. 619 00:32:41,421 --> 00:32:42,381 [Philip sighs] 620 00:32:42,941 --> 00:32:44,941 Don't worry. You're not my dad. 621 00:32:45,541 --> 00:32:46,900 He was a one-night stand. 622 00:32:46,901 --> 00:32:49,621 Played xylophone in the orchestra, believe it or not. 623 00:32:50,181 --> 00:32:51,261 [surprised gasp] 624 00:32:54,101 --> 00:32:55,300 You're Carol's daughter? 625 00:32:55,301 --> 00:32:57,501 Yes. Well, kind of. 626 00:32:59,221 --> 00:33:00,221 I'm not real. 627 00:33:01,261 --> 00:33:03,100 I'm a disposable avatar. 628 00:33:03,101 --> 00:33:05,381 A temp guide. An echo, really. 629 00:33:07,101 --> 00:33:08,980 I'm programmed with her thoughts and opinions 630 00:33:08,981 --> 00:33:11,180 so I can decide what she'd like to include 631 00:33:11,181 --> 00:33:13,860 without her having to be exposed to everything herself, 632 00:33:13,861 --> 00:33:15,981 which, as you can imagine, 633 00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:18,020 might be upsetting. 634 00:33:18,021 --> 00:33:19,541 Why didn't you say? 635 00:33:20,181 --> 00:33:22,301 You said, "Skip the intro." 636 00:33:26,901 --> 00:33:27,901 [sighs] 637 00:33:30,221 --> 00:33:33,140 So you know everything that the real daughter knows? 638 00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:34,500 Mm-hmm. More or less. 639 00:33:34,501 --> 00:33:36,860 So you already knew everything I've been telling you here. 640 00:33:36,861 --> 00:33:37,820 Well, some of it, 641 00:33:37,821 --> 00:33:41,421 but, to be honest, she never really spoke much about this time in her life. 642 00:33:44,101 --> 00:33:47,020 - Right. - I think looking back was painful for her. 643 00:33:47,021 --> 00:33:49,780 It doesn't mean your time together wasn't meaningful. 644 00:33:49,781 --> 00:33:51,821 - Probably the opposite. - Mm. 645 00:33:57,501 --> 00:33:58,900 This guy, your dad. 646 00:33:58,901 --> 00:34:00,260 [The Guide inhales] 647 00:34:00,261 --> 00:34:03,260 - What was he like? I just wanna know. - [exhales] Why? 648 00:34:03,261 --> 00:34:06,020 - She cheated with him. - You mean, followed your lead? 649 00:34:06,021 --> 00:34:07,621 Could you just tell me? 650 00:34:08,501 --> 00:34:11,980 I never knew much about him. He was called Brian. 651 00:34:11,981 --> 00:34:13,620 - Brian? - Yeah. 652 00:34:13,621 --> 00:34:15,220 And they were never together. 653 00:34:15,221 --> 00:34:17,820 And by the time I was born, he was in Manchester. 654 00:34:17,821 --> 00:34:20,220 I saw him maybe five or six times. 655 00:34:20,221 --> 00:34:24,580 And the last time, he was ranting about some online rabbit-hole conspiracy theory. 656 00:34:24,581 --> 00:34:27,140 And the year after that, I heard he died of Covid. 657 00:34:27,141 --> 00:34:28,381 Oh boy. 658 00:34:29,181 --> 00:34:31,100 He sounds like a real catch. 659 00:34:31,101 --> 00:34:32,540 Great choice, Carol. 660 00:34:32,541 --> 00:34:34,341 [scoffs] Great choice. 661 00:34:35,141 --> 00:34:36,301 [Philip sighs] 662 00:34:40,861 --> 00:34:41,741 Sorry. 663 00:34:44,901 --> 00:34:45,741 It's okay. 664 00:34:46,941 --> 00:34:48,221 She'd agree. [chuckles] 665 00:34:49,621 --> 00:34:51,140 [pensive string music playing] 666 00:34:51,141 --> 00:34:54,780 She said she wrote to you to explain or at least start the conversation, 667 00:34:54,781 --> 00:34:56,020 and you never replied. 668 00:34:56,021 --> 00:34:58,060 - She never wrote to me. - It's what she told me. 669 00:34:58,061 --> 00:35:00,100 She never wrote! [scoffs] 670 00:35:00,101 --> 00:35:02,260 Or I never got it. I... I didn't get it. 671 00:35:02,261 --> 00:35:03,940 [splutters] I'd have listened. 672 00:35:03,941 --> 00:35:05,860 Yeah, and said, "Get rid of it." 673 00:35:05,861 --> 00:35:09,020 No! I don't know. [splutters] We'd have talked it over. 674 00:35:09,021 --> 00:35:12,780 - And you'd have heard her? - Yes, I would! Yes, I would! 675 00:35:12,781 --> 00:35:14,461 [music fades] 676 00:35:15,901 --> 00:35:17,140 [sighs, sniffles] 677 00:35:17,141 --> 00:35:18,661 I wanna get out of here. 678 00:35:19,221 --> 00:35:20,221 [sighs] 679 00:35:21,901 --> 00:35:22,941 [exhales] 680 00:35:31,061 --> 00:35:31,981 [sighs] 681 00:35:33,421 --> 00:35:34,381 [sighs] 682 00:35:36,781 --> 00:35:39,060 I just wanna see her, you know? 683 00:35:39,061 --> 00:35:41,820 Maybe there's something else that could jog your memory? 684 00:35:41,821 --> 00:35:43,060 I don't know. 685 00:35:43,061 --> 00:35:45,380 Well, um, what about in that box? 686 00:35:45,381 --> 00:35:46,380 [Philip sighs] 687 00:35:46,381 --> 00:35:47,980 Is that, like, a camera there? 688 00:35:47,981 --> 00:35:49,620 - [sighs] This? - Yeah. 689 00:35:49,621 --> 00:35:52,661 [chuckles] It's a disposable camera. 690 00:35:53,661 --> 00:35:55,661 Big in the '90s. I got it at the airport. 691 00:35:56,341 --> 00:35:58,780 The plan was we would take photos around the city together. 692 00:35:58,781 --> 00:36:01,141 That never happened, of course. We never... 693 00:36:02,341 --> 00:36:04,341 [intriguing music playing] 694 00:36:14,861 --> 00:36:15,701 [Philip] Here. 695 00:36:17,661 --> 00:36:20,781 - I haven't seen one of these in forever. - Can you still process it? 696 00:36:21,461 --> 00:36:24,741 - There's only one photo been taken. - I know, I know, I know. 697 00:36:25,821 --> 00:36:27,701 - I'll have to wind it on. - Okay. 698 00:36:28,341 --> 00:36:31,421 - You'll waste the rest of the film. - But you can retrieve the one photo? 699 00:36:31,941 --> 00:36:32,940 Might take a while. 700 00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:34,500 I'll wait. [sighs] 701 00:36:34,501 --> 00:36:36,021 Matte or gloss? 702 00:36:36,821 --> 00:36:37,701 Matte. 703 00:36:50,021 --> 00:36:51,420 [music fades] 704 00:36:51,421 --> 00:36:52,421 [The Guide] So? 705 00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:54,941 Was there anything on it? 706 00:37:03,101 --> 00:37:03,980 Here. 707 00:37:03,981 --> 00:37:06,340 I think I took this. Just a nothing photo. 708 00:37:06,341 --> 00:37:07,301 Oh. 709 00:37:09,261 --> 00:37:11,140 Look, we could still go in. 710 00:37:11,141 --> 00:37:12,820 [sighs] What's the point? 711 00:37:12,821 --> 00:37:16,220 Well, you took it on your trip, so it might give us something. 712 00:37:16,221 --> 00:37:17,140 Sure. 713 00:37:17,141 --> 00:37:19,221 [suspenseful music playing] 714 00:37:20,101 --> 00:37:21,581 [Philip] Told you. It's nothing. 715 00:37:24,901 --> 00:37:26,300 This was the hotel room. 716 00:37:26,301 --> 00:37:29,700 When I came back from the restaurant, her case was gone, 717 00:37:29,701 --> 00:37:30,941 so I knew that was that. 718 00:37:31,981 --> 00:37:33,021 [tuts] 719 00:37:34,181 --> 00:37:36,021 And I took it out on the room. 720 00:37:37,861 --> 00:37:38,981 It was pathetic. 721 00:37:41,461 --> 00:37:43,381 What are you even looking for? 722 00:37:43,901 --> 00:37:46,461 [The Guide] I just want to see what your camera picked up. 723 00:37:51,021 --> 00:37:52,221 There's a note here. 724 00:37:52,741 --> 00:37:54,100 It says "Philly." 725 00:37:54,101 --> 00:37:55,940 System sharpened it up. 726 00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:58,020 There's a piece of paper with "Philly" written on it. 727 00:37:58,021 --> 00:38:00,620 - That's what she called me. - I'm pretty sure it's her writing. 728 00:38:00,621 --> 00:38:02,740 Well, I... I never saw that. 729 00:38:02,741 --> 00:38:05,020 - [Philip grunts] - No, Philip, it's just part of an image. 730 00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:06,140 - You-- - Oh, come on. 731 00:38:06,141 --> 00:38:09,660 You won't be able to pick it up. I'm sorry. That's just not how it works. 732 00:38:09,661 --> 00:38:10,741 No, come on. 733 00:38:11,981 --> 00:38:13,141 Please, come on. 734 00:38:14,501 --> 00:38:16,341 [grunts, pants] 735 00:38:19,821 --> 00:38:21,101 Get me out of here. 736 00:38:22,021 --> 00:38:23,021 [snorts] 737 00:38:24,341 --> 00:38:26,540 - Maybe you kept it somewhere. - [sighs] 738 00:38:26,541 --> 00:38:28,180 - No. - Are you sure? 739 00:38:28,181 --> 00:38:29,781 I'd fucking remember. 740 00:38:31,781 --> 00:38:33,221 [sighs] Sorry. 741 00:38:33,901 --> 00:38:34,901 It's okay. 742 00:38:35,821 --> 00:38:39,221 Let's just walk through what you did after you took the photo. 743 00:38:44,341 --> 00:38:45,421 Um... 744 00:38:47,021 --> 00:38:49,261 I just smashed the room up. Uh... 745 00:38:50,981 --> 00:38:53,301 I went out, drank myself into a blur. 746 00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:55,900 And when I got back, 747 00:38:55,901 --> 00:38:58,620 the maid had cleaned the place up, put it all in a little pile. 748 00:38:58,621 --> 00:39:00,260 I just packed everything up, 749 00:39:00,261 --> 00:39:02,100 I... I put it away, and I never... 750 00:39:02,101 --> 00:39:04,181 [ethereal music playing] 751 00:39:08,541 --> 00:39:09,501 Uh... 752 00:39:22,701 --> 00:39:23,781 [Philip sighs] 753 00:39:29,741 --> 00:39:31,861 [Carol] Philly, I have to tell you something. 754 00:39:32,741 --> 00:39:35,060 I couldn't say earlier. I froze. 755 00:39:35,061 --> 00:39:36,141 I'm sorry. 756 00:39:37,741 --> 00:39:39,621 Please... please don't hate me. 757 00:39:41,861 --> 00:39:44,981 That day I rang and got Emma, I was so mad. 758 00:39:48,061 --> 00:39:50,981 I had a one-night stand with someone in the orchestra here. 759 00:39:52,301 --> 00:39:55,581 It didn't mean anything, and I'm sorry. 760 00:39:59,101 --> 00:40:00,381 I've missed my period. 761 00:40:01,501 --> 00:40:02,901 I don't know what to do. 762 00:40:03,821 --> 00:40:07,821 I love you, and I want us to work, but I don't know how you'll feel. 763 00:40:08,941 --> 00:40:10,981 I think I wanna keep the baby. 764 00:40:11,901 --> 00:40:12,901 I don't know. 765 00:40:14,341 --> 00:40:16,261 But could you live with that if I did? 766 00:40:19,301 --> 00:40:20,860 If you still wanna talk, 767 00:40:20,861 --> 00:40:24,181 meet me tomorrow afternoon at the stage door, after the matinee. 768 00:40:27,781 --> 00:40:30,621 I'll understand if you never wanna see me again. 769 00:40:32,261 --> 00:40:33,141 I hope you do. 770 00:40:34,781 --> 00:40:35,861 I love you, 771 00:40:37,101 --> 00:40:37,941 Carol. 772 00:40:41,661 --> 00:40:43,661 [sobs] 773 00:40:47,781 --> 00:40:48,821 [sighs] 774 00:41:11,741 --> 00:41:13,741 [music subsides] 775 00:41:26,421 --> 00:41:27,701 [The Guide] I'm so sorry. 776 00:41:53,941 --> 00:41:55,541 [cassette clatters] 777 00:42:03,141 --> 00:42:04,700 [Carol chuckles] Okay, Philly. 778 00:42:04,701 --> 00:42:08,861 So you asked me to record this piece of music for you. 779 00:42:09,501 --> 00:42:10,461 [Philip tuts] 780 00:42:11,581 --> 00:42:13,301 [Carol] Careful what you wish for. 781 00:42:15,301 --> 00:42:16,461 Let's see her. 782 00:42:18,341 --> 00:42:20,341 [poignant string music playing] 783 00:42:36,981 --> 00:42:38,981 [music fades] 784 00:43:09,461 --> 00:43:12,461 [cello music continues] 785 00:43:57,381 --> 00:43:59,381 [cello music continues] 786 00:44:52,661 --> 00:44:54,661 [cello music continues] 787 00:46:04,421 --> 00:46:06,421 [music fades] 788 00:46:06,421 --> 00:46:11,421 DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV 789 00:46:06,421 --> 00:46:16,421 For latest movies and series with subtitles Visit WWW.AWAFIM.TV Today 54205

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