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1
00:00:00,420 --> 00:00:03,620
♪♪
2
00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:13,040
There. I believe Danny's
old room is officially ready
for its new tenant.
3
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:16,080
And to think, it only took
seven coats of paint to get it
to stop smellin'
4
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:19,500
like the inside
of an old gym bag.
5
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,920
When Ben finally moved out
of the house, I just
opened the door
6
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,460
and started
parking my car there again.
7
00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:25,620
Ben:
Can we come in?
8
00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:27,120
Ooh! Not yet!
9
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:30,080
Okay, um...
10
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,750
Oh. Uh-oh... yeah.
11
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:36,290
And now, we're ready.
12
00:00:36,290 --> 00:00:38,830
All:
Surprise!
13
00:00:40,330 --> 00:00:43,290
Fifty square feet
of living space,
a lovely fake kitchen,
14
00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:45,250
and a window
overlooking an air shaft.
15
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:48,460
But the best part,
rent is only a daily
"I love you, Daddy."
16
00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:50,080
I love you, Daddy.
17
00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:53,170
She's growin' up.
18
00:00:53,170 --> 00:00:57,000
Hmm? Her own bedroom,
a big-girl bed.
19
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,460
This is quite a milestone.
20
00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:04,120
Oh, Benji.
It's gonna be okay.
21
00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:05,750
She'll always need
her dad.
22
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:10,500
Thanks. But I just realized
I finally get to have sex
in my own room again.
23
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:13,170
Oh, my God.
It's been so long.
24
00:01:13,170 --> 00:01:14,540
(theme music playing)
25
00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:17,330
♪ It's amazing
how the unexpected ♪
26
00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:20,710
♪ Can take your life
and change direction ♪
27
00:01:24,790 --> 00:01:25,920
(bell dings)
28
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,880
Okay, Emma,
you are about
to be welcomed
29
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,420
to the amazing world
of professional wrestling!
30
00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:35,380
Though some might mock you
for your choice...
31
00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:36,670
Just know that you
32
00:01:36,670 --> 00:01:39,250
are on the side
of righteousness!
33
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:40,920
Yeah.
34
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,580
Hey, remember
when we were nine?
35
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:45,960
And you crushed me
with your thighs so hard
it dislocated my shoulder?
36
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:49,040
That's when
I first started thinking
you might love me back.
37
00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:52,120
And that's
when I first started thinking,
38
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,040
"Diet, Riley. Diet."
39
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,170
You know, we would've made
a lot fewer visits
40
00:01:57,170 --> 00:02:00,080
to the hospital if someone
just told us it was fake.
41
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,620
Seriously? Why don't
you just tell her
42
00:02:02,620 --> 00:02:04,880
about Santa Claus or the pope
while you're at it.
43
00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:09,120
The pope is real.
44
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,880
That's more like it.
45
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,290
(bell dings)
46
00:02:12,290 --> 00:02:15,170
Wait. Yeah, I think
I know that guy.
47
00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:17,210
Ryan Davidson.
He was my roommate
48
00:02:17,210 --> 00:02:18,790
during training camp.
49
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:20,500
The last spot on the team
came down to the two of us,
50
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:21,620
and I got it.
51
00:02:21,620 --> 00:02:23,750
I always wondered
what happened to him.
52
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:25,290
Maybe you should
give him a call.
53
00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:27,170
He doesn't wanna talk to me.
54
00:02:27,170 --> 00:02:29,790
I'm still a Ranger
and he's a wrestler.
55
00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:31,880
He's livin' the dream.
56
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,500
I really hope the baby
gets your eyes.
57
00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:42,750
Ooh! Tucker, perfect!
58
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:43,920
I need some expert advice.
59
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:45,620
Dude, I told you.
I'm not a doctor.
60
00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:49,500
I mean, I'll look at it
if you want me to.
61
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:52,420
What? No, no, I'm trying
to craft the perfect text
62
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:55,250
to seal the deal with this girl
I right-swiped this morning.
63
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,250
Too bad there's no emoji
that says,
64
00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:58,170
"Hey, wanna just come over
and have sex?"
65
00:02:58,170 --> 00:03:02,120
Ah, the question
all men wish they could ask.
66
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:05,790
I mean, other than,
"Why can't you be ready
when you say you will?"
67
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:08,750
Is it so wrong
that all I wanna do
68
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:11,580
is christen my room
and not be bogged down
with all that caring
69
00:03:11,580 --> 00:03:13,540
or name learning?
70
00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:17,710
Karma got it right
by givin' you a daughter.
71
00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:22,380
I'm walkin' a tightrope
here, man.
72
00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:24,580
Too sweet and she thinks
we're starting a relationship.
73
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,540
Too direct and it's over
before it starts.
74
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,000
There's just no way
to say it.
75
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,040
(phone buzzing)
76
00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:31,920
"How about I come over
around 11 tonight?"
77
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,420
There's one way to say it.
78
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:37,670
-It's her. That is
what she's saying, right?
-Yeah.
79
00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:39,330
Oh, my God, it's a miracle.
80
00:03:39,330 --> 00:03:42,290
-Hey, guys, what's goin' on?
-Oh, Ben just found
a bang buddy.
81
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:47,290
-(laughs)
-I really enjoy
our little talks.
82
00:03:47,290 --> 00:03:50,120
So, how do you decide
who's gonna win or lose?
83
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,290
Oh! And have you ever
gotten in a real fight
during a fake fight?
84
00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:54,540
Oh, and-- and...
why is it called a ring
85
00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:56,960
when it's actually
shaped like a square?
86
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,210
Sorry, I got
so many questions.
87
00:03:58,210 --> 00:04:00,540
I'm just a huge fan!
88
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,080
Don't be too impressed.
89
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,960
I'm in what you might call
a second-tier league.
90
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,170
Most people who come to see us
just wanna get out of the cold.
91
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,080
Second tier is
still impressive.
92
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,040
I'd kill
to get in any ring.
93
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,210
Well... fake kill.
I know how it works.
94
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:18,250
I could probably
make that happen.
95
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,290
Seriously?
96
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:21,210
Maybe you could be
a special guest fighter.
97
00:04:21,210 --> 00:04:23,000
I mean, wrestling
a New York Ranger,
98
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,790
that kind of publicity
would really help us out.
99
00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:26,620
Dude, that'd be amazing.
100
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:28,540
Can I come up
with my own signature move?
101
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:29,710
Can I hit you
with a chair?
102
00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:32,670
Oh, my God,
it's all happening so fast.
103
00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,960
-Oh. Hey, Tuck-Tuck.
-What up?
104
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,580
Rockin' some plaid
today, huh? Okay.
105
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,330
Oh God! Oh, my God!
106
00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:43,710
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
107
00:04:43,710 --> 00:04:45,250
Oh God,
what is he doing here?
108
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:46,580
Who?
109
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,620
What, the guy with Danny?
Do you know him?
110
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:53,420
Yes! I know him.
I ruined him!
111
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:55,580
-What, did you have sex
with him?
-Yeah.
112
00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:59,420
-Oh, I was kidding.
-Oh God.
113
00:04:59,420 --> 00:05:01,380
During Danny's
first training camp,
114
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:04,170
it came down
to the two of them
for the final spot.
115
00:05:04,170 --> 00:05:06,750
So, the night before
the last practice,
116
00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:09,750
I took Ryan out
and filled him full of booze,
117
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:11,250
and, you know,
one thing led to another,
118
00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:13,500
and let's just say,
Danny made the team.
119
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,120
Does Danny know?
120
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,380
Oh God, no!
121
00:05:17,380 --> 00:05:18,750
He would be crushed
if he learned
he made the team
122
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:21,210
because I scored
and he didn't!
123
00:05:21,210 --> 00:05:24,000
I was never here.
124
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:32,210
Wait. Wait.
125
00:05:32,210 --> 00:05:34,420
So, you think this girl
is coming over tonight
126
00:05:34,420 --> 00:05:37,290
for no reason other
than to have sex with you.
127
00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:42,080
Did I stutter? If I did,
it's only because
I'm s-s-s-so excited.
128
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,960
Okay, well, that kind of girl
is like a unicorn.
129
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,250
She doesn't exist.
Tonight it's sex,
tomorrow it's...
130
00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:51,670
"Hey, babe, sell the Porsche.
We need to get a minivan."
131
00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:56,710
I am telling you,
she's just looking
for an in.
132
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,670
So am I, Riley.
So am I.
133
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,120
Ben, women don't have sex
unless they have feelings
for you,
134
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,540
so if you're not in it
for the feelings,
well, then...
135
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:10,290
you won't be feeling
anything of hers.
136
00:06:10,290 --> 00:06:14,380
Really? So just bottom-line me,
what is the absolute least
I have to do to get some?
137
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,420
Well, Romeo,
138
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,880
uh, if you really
wanna christen the room...
139
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,170
which by the way, ew...
140
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:27,620
uh, you're gonna need
some candles, some wine,
141
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:30,120
perhaps treat her
like a human being.
142
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,000
How about two out of three?
143
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:35,960
-(thudding)
-What the hell was that?
144
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,170
(grunting)
145
00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:40,460
Both:
Hey, guys!
146
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,000
Yeah, they wanted to practice
at our place,
147
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,960
but I felt more comfortable
with them breaking your stuff.
148
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,790
(grunting)
149
00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:52,670
By the time
the slow-witted tortoise
150
00:06:52,670 --> 00:06:55,710
woke up
after an evening
in the forest,
151
00:06:55,710 --> 00:06:58,880
the momma bear
had ruined his hockey career.
152
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,040
Now she was worried
that the tortoise
153
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:05,080
had figured it out,
and was laying a bear trap.
154
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,620
You get that I'm
the momma bear, right?
155
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:07,880
Yes.
156
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:11,040
Do you think
that Ryan figured out
that I'm Danny's mom,
157
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,420
-and put it all together?
-Yes.
158
00:07:13,420 --> 00:07:16,080
-Wow, you're wise.
-(thudding)
159
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,960
What is going on
out there?
160
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,000
-(grunting)
-This is usually the point
in the video
161
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,750
when I realize
I've downloaded the wrong one.
162
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:32,380
Oh. Hey, Mrs. Wheeler.
You lose your "vitamins" again?
163
00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:35,710
Tucker. All right, Tucker?
Can I speak to you
164
00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:37,920
in Emma's room
for a moment, huh?
165
00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:42,500
-Tea party!
-Oh, of course, sweetie, yes!
166
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:46,710
I promised a tea party.
Oh, how lovely.
167
00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:49,040
Oh, my goodness. Oh...
168
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:54,330
(British accent)
So, why didn't you tell me
that Ryan was here, gov'nah?
169
00:07:54,330 --> 00:07:56,210
(British accent)
Because I didn't care,
Your Highness.
170
00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:59,290
Oh. Oh, well.
Well, if you don't start caring,
171
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:02,330
-I will shove a scone
so far up your--
-Good point, love! Okay!
172
00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:04,170
(both laughing)
173
00:08:04,170 --> 00:08:06,290
I, uh, I heard
Danny is going
to wrestle him
174
00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:08,080
tomorrow night
for publicity.
175
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,500
(in normal voice)
What? Don't you see
what's happening?
176
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:14,210
Danny is living the life
Ryan should've had.
177
00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:18,250
But I destroyed him,
so he's here to destroy Danny!
178
00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:20,040
Oh. (laughs)
179
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,960
Oh, I mean...
(British accent)
I do believe he will
180
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,710
get him in the ring
and just shred him
to pieces.
181
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:27,880
Ahh, I need your help.
We need to stop Danny
from wrestling
182
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,420
without telling him
the truth. Mm-hm.
183
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:33,040
Oh. Please, Emma?
184
00:08:34,210 --> 00:08:35,000
Oh.
185
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:39,710
It's up to you, Tucker,
where this goes.
186
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,120
(knocking on door)
187
00:08:45,580 --> 00:08:47,330
Anita! Yes!
188
00:08:47,330 --> 00:08:51,040
You look like
your profile pick. Finally!
189
00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,540
-Do I look like mine?
-Meh.
190
00:08:57,250 --> 00:09:00,000
Can I offer you a glass of wine
and some soft candlelight
191
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,920
while we get to know
each other better?
192
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,250
Well, I don't drink,
and I'm actually meeting
some friends
193
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:07,120
in a half hour, so...
194
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,420
(stammering)
So, you wanna go
straight to...?
195
00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:12,250
Your room. Is that okay?
196
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:16,580
Is that okay?
That wins the award
for most okay statement ever.
197
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:19,460
Yeah, it's just over there
to the left. Will you excuse me
for just one second?
198
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,120
Hey. What do you want?
199
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,920
Just delivering
some breaking news.
200
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,210
Unicorns are real,
and I'm about to go tame one.
201
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,080
I'm tellin' you,
it was perfect.
202
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,380
She just got up and left.
203
00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:45,170
No obligatory cuddle,
no awkward conversation
204
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:47,040
about when we're gonna
see each other again.
205
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,170
Wait. What was the name
of this app you met her on?
206
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:53,960
Right, but you're gonna
have to see her again
to give her back her earring.
207
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,080
Wait. What? How do you know
Anita left her earring?
208
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:01,290
Because a bra is too obvious,
and you can't walk home
without your shoes.
209
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:04,080
Sure, she's fine
with the 11 p.m.
booty call now,
210
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,120
but Anita is playing
the long game,
211
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,290
and you're falling
for every trick in the book.
212
00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:11,330
No. Never happening.
Anita's not that kind of girl.
213
00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:15,040
Oh, my God! My watch stopped,
all the clocks in the house
are wrong,
214
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,040
and I don't know
where my phone is.
215
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,120
(muffled ringing)
216
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,040
Oh my G--
How did that get there?
217
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,210
I'm already an hour late
for wrestling practice. Oh!
218
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,250
Guys, don't forget,
my big match is tonight.
219
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:38,210
Spoiler alert: I lose,
but you won't see it coming.
220
00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:40,420
Oh! Hey. Hey, honey,
I just came by to stop you.
221
00:10:40,420 --> 00:10:42,040
I mean, get you--
um, talk to you.
222
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,250
No time, Ma.
I've got to get
to the ring.
223
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:45,080
Oh! Well, then,
it's a good thing
I caught you, then,
224
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,170
because I just discovered
that you can't wrestle,
225
00:10:47,170 --> 00:10:48,880
because it's against
your contract with the Rangers.
226
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,290
Oh. Yeah, I knew about that.
That's why I already cleared it
with the team.
227
00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:53,330
Oh God, you picked now
to read your contract?
228
00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:55,000
-Um...
-Mom, I gotta go.
229
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,880
Oh, let me just hug you
before you go, honey.
-Mom-- Mom--
230
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,830
-Let me hug you.
Let me hug you!
-Mom. Mom. Mom.
231
00:10:58,830 --> 00:11:00,880
-I love you! I love you!
-Mom! Mom! Mom!
Mom, let me go!
232
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,120
I love you!
233
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,830
Listen, Danny, all right,
have fun, and don't look back.
234
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,540
Seriously, on the way there,
don't look back!
235
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,790
Okay.
(screaming) Tucker!
236
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:15,250
Is it just me,
or is my mom
acting kind of weird?
237
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,540
It's never just you.
238
00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:19,210
-(phone buzzing)
-Oh! Oh, the phone!
239
00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:21,670
Ten bucks says that's her,
she had a great time,
240
00:11:21,670 --> 00:11:23,120
and she can't wait
to see you again.
241
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,710
Well, you're on.
242
00:11:24,710 --> 00:11:28,040
And it is from Anita.
And she says, "Had a nice time.
243
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,290
Can't...
wait to see you again."
244
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:35,000
Ah! Oh! I knew it!
God, I hate that we are
so predictable.
245
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,290
-(phone buzzing)
-Ooh, a follow-up.
246
00:11:37,290 --> 00:11:40,210
"Maybe I can swing by
for 20 minutes at lunch time."
247
00:11:40,210 --> 00:11:42,580
Why would she wanna do that?
248
00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:45,380
Two words: She's horny.
249
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:53,790
Tucker:
Mrs. Wheeler, wrestling
is Danny's dream.
250
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:57,210
I mean, his odd,
kind of creepy,
kind of man-grabby dream,
251
00:11:57,210 --> 00:11:59,080
but you're never gonna
get him to quit now.
252
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,670
I know.
Which is why I am gonna
have to stop Ryan myself.
253
00:12:02,670 --> 00:12:04,880
Do I even need to ask how?
254
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,170
Seducing Ryan is what got me
into this mess,
255
00:12:07,170 --> 00:12:09,540
and seducing Ryan is gonna
get me out of it.
256
00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:11,170
Nope, I had it.
257
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:13,710
Look, I'm just gonna
get him drunk and lock him
in his motel room.
258
00:12:13,710 --> 00:12:17,000
Isn't that exactly
what got you into this mess
in the first place?
259
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,210
What are you,
the memory police?
260
00:12:19,210 --> 00:12:21,750
Listen. He's only here
for one night.
261
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,500
It won't be a problem, okay?
262
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:24,580
Take it.
263
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:30,210
Ryan?
Oh... (grunts)
264
00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:32,080
Ryan Davidson?
265
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,880
Is that you?
266
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:38,330
Oh my goodness.
How, after all these years,
we both look so great.
267
00:12:38,330 --> 00:12:40,290
I'm sorry, have we met?
268
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:42,290
It's a little hard for me
to keep track of all my fans.
269
00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:47,080
Oh. But I was
a very special fan.
270
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,080
Yeah, that's
what they all think.
271
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,580
Enjoy the show tonight.
272
00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:54,080
I guess
slamming his head
against the floor
273
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,120
made him forget about you.
274
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,790
Hey, real quick,
can you slam my head
against the floor?
275
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:00,750
Oh, he remembers me,
all right.
276
00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:03,000
Nobody forgets
Bonnie Wheeler.
277
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,170
No matter how hard they try.
278
00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:06,620
Hey, Steve.
279
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,960
Can you prep
a B-12 shot for me?
280
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,500
I need a little
somethin' extra
for the show tonight.
281
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:15,290
Oh! Tucker. I know how
we can stop the match.
282
00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:17,420
Well, at least
how you can stop the match.
283
00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:19,920
Nope, not doin' it.
Don't even ask.
I'm going home.
284
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,210
-Okay, I'll buy
you dinner.
-Lobster?
285
00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:22,080
-Pizza.
-Steak?
286
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,170
-Pizza.
-Done.
287
00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:32,120
Aah, I was hopin'
for the pizza man.
288
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,460
I wanted to tell you,
Anita just stopped by,
289
00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,920
and she didn't even stay
the full 20 minutes.
290
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,170
Not really somethin'
to brag about.
291
00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:44,330
Ben, I'm sorry, but this girl
is playing you perfectly.
292
00:13:44,330 --> 00:13:46,080
Mmm, pretty sure someone
who has feelings for me
293
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,120
wouldn't accidentally
call me "Bill."
294
00:13:50,290 --> 00:13:52,710
And yet, you seem
oddly obsessed with her.
295
00:13:52,710 --> 00:13:55,170
I'm not obsessed.
If I see her again, great,
296
00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:56,330
if I don't, whatever.
297
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,750
Oh, good!
Because if I was her,
298
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:02,460
and I was,
uh, I predict she's
about to go radio silent,
299
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:05,790
totally unavailable,
now you're the one chasing her,
300
00:14:05,790 --> 00:14:08,170
and that's when
she reels you in like a fish.
301
00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:12,330
(laughs)
No. She'd jump at the chance
to see me again.
302
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:15,120
"Hey, Anita.
Round three tonight?"
303
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,170
-(phone buzzing)
-Oh! Would you look at that.
304
00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:20,380
It's as if she was anxiously
awaiting my call.
305
00:14:21,670 --> 00:14:24,080
"Sorry, busy."
306
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,580
"Are you sure?
307
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:27,750
Late is cool."
308
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:29,960
Mm, not desperate at all.
309
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,790
-(phone buzzing)
-"Still busy."
310
00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:36,040
"How about tomorrow night?"
Happy face emoji.
311
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:45,250
Maybe she didn't get it.
I'll send it again,
just to be safe.
312
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:48,170
Oh, you know what?
You have something
right here.
313
00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:49,790
Oh, it's a hook.
314
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,210
Oh, man,
that's really in there.
315
00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:04,040
It couldn't be simpler.
Just tell Ryan you're ready
to give him his B-12 shot.
316
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,500
But shoot him up
with this muscle relaxer
instead, okay?
317
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:11,120
He can't paralyze Danny
if we paralyze him first.
318
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,120
Should I be concerned
you were carrying
319
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,960
a vial of muscle relaxer
in your purse?
320
00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:22,120
Should I be concerned
you know how to do that so well?
321
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,080
-There he is. Okay.
-(clears throat)
322
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:29,250
Ry-Ry! What's up, man?
I got that, uh, that, uh,
B-12 shot you requested?
323
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:31,250
Awesome!
What happened to Steve?
324
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:34,290
(giggling)
325
00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:36,920
I... I tied him up
in the trainer's room.
326
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,540
I'm pretending
to be a doctor!
327
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:41,080
(laughing)
You're funnier
than Steve.
328
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,080
(grunts)
329
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,830
Sorry, Doc.
I'll come back later.
330
00:15:52,290 --> 00:15:55,000
What the hell is
the matter with you?
331
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,040
I can't feel
the left side
of my body.
332
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,420
Ow! That's my right side!
333
00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:00,580
I know!
Now quit messing around.
334
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:02,080
We've gotta go help Danny.
335
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,750
Oh God!
336
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:09,080
Why does everything
always have to be about you?
337
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,880
(cheering)
338
00:16:14,670 --> 00:16:17,750
Oh, dude, I'm telling you,
she's not texting you back.
339
00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:20,830
Yeah, I got that,
23 unreturned texts ago.
340
00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:22,460
You people ruin everything.
341
00:16:22,460 --> 00:16:24,250
I kept up my end
of the bargain,
342
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:27,710
a relationship
with no commitment,
no feelings, no words.
343
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:29,540
And you know what?
The joke's on her.
344
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:31,750
She slept with me
for nothing.
345
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:32,880
I know that joke.
346
00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:35,880
Oh, my God,
that's her.
347
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,880
Her who? (gasps)
The unicorn?
348
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,960
Ben:
Yeah, like you didn't
see this coming?
349
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,080
Um... no, not really.
350
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,120
I mean, how did she know
you were gonna be here?
351
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,080
Maybe she went through
my phone, or whatever tricks
you all use.
352
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,420
Or perhaps
it's a coincidence.
353
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:51,290
And cue the fake date.
354
00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:52,670
Could she be more obvious?
355
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:56,460
Or... perhaps
she's on an actual date.
356
00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:57,960
Don't try
and save her now.
357
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,290
If she thinks
she can make me care,
358
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:01,250
then she can think again.
359
00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,250
Really? 'Cause you
seem like you care.
360
00:17:04,250 --> 00:17:06,120
I don't care.
361
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,750
(cheering, whistling)
362
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,170
I don't think this is right.
363
00:17:18,670 --> 00:17:22,290
Listen. Sweetie, honey,
I am begging you,
don't do this.
364
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:23,250
You could get hurt.
365
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,420
You could end your career.
366
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:26,540
Don't worry, Mom.
It's all fake.
367
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,040
(bell dings)
368
00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:31,000
(grunting)
369
00:17:32,290 --> 00:17:33,540
(grunts)
370
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:36,580
Whoa. That hurt more
than I thought it would.
371
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,120
(grunts)
372
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,830
That's because Ryan
is trying to destroy
your career.
373
00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:45,880
He blames you
for not making the team.
374
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:47,330
Ow! Uh!
375
00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:50,290
-Why?
-Because your mother,
who loves you very much...
376
00:17:50,290 --> 00:17:51,580
Aah!
377
00:17:51,580 --> 00:17:53,620
(grunting)
378
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:56,000
...seduced Ryan the last night
of training camp...
379
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,290
-(growling)
-(groaning)
380
00:17:58,290 --> 00:17:59,920
...to make sure
that you made the team.
381
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,040
I'm living a lie?
382
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,000
(grunts, groans)
383
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,960
(growling)
384
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:13,330
Roundhouse! Roundhouse!
Oh, I meant Danny,
not you, Ryan.
385
00:18:13,330 --> 00:18:15,380
(thudding)
386
00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:17,420
Look at her. Thinkin'
she's so smart.
387
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,380
Like I'm gonna go over there
and make a scene or somethin'.
388
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:21,120
I really don't think
she even knows you're here.
389
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:22,540
Oh, she knows.
390
00:18:22,540 --> 00:18:26,040
She's been makin' me dance,
but it's time this puppet
cut the strings.
391
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,080
Aah! Dude!
That really hurts!
392
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:32,290
Just tryin' to make it
look real.
393
00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:34,000
Hey, you gotta believe me,
I had no idea
394
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,540
she sabotaged your chances
of becoming a Ranger.
395
00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:41,210
-What are you talkin' about?
-That woman who seduced you
396
00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:44,120
the last night at camp,
she did it on purpose.
397
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,080
It's the reason you got cut.
398
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,120
But I'd already been cut
from the team that afternoon.
399
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,960
That's why I didn't come
to the last day of practice.
400
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,380
Really? I made the team
fair and square?
401
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:56,120
-You're not tryin' to hurt me?
-What? No. Why would I do that?
402
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,750
And how'd you know
I slept with someone that night?
403
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:59,040
And, God,
she was easy.
404
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,670
-What?
-Talk about
one desperate old broad.
405
00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:05,000
Hey, that desperate
old broad is my mom!
406
00:19:07,290 --> 00:19:10,210
Hey, can you hold my head up
so I can see what's going on?
407
00:19:14,290 --> 00:19:17,080
God, try to show
some enthusiasm!
408
00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:23,120
Anita! Surprise.
I see you're too busy
to answer a text,
409
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,710
but not too busy to follow me
to my brother's wrestling match.
410
00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:28,620
Ben... hi.
411
00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:32,170
-This is Jim.
-Yeah, yeah, let me guess,
your probably gay, co-worker,
412
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,920
you brought around
just to make me jealous?
413
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,580
Why are you following me?
414
00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:37,880
I'm not following you.
You're following me!
415
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,040
I can't believe
that you're so desperate
to get a boyfriend
416
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,380
that you tricked me
into believing that
we had something special:
417
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:44,580
sex without feelings.
418
00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:46,830
That's exactly
what I thought we had, too.
419
00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:50,580
-So, you're not--
-No, I'm not whatever it is
you think I'm doing.
420
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:55,290
Oh! Well, then, my bad.
421
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:58,620
So I'll just leave you alone,
and you can text me whenever.
422
00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:01,330
Yeah, I don't think so,
Mr. Twenty-three Texts.
423
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:03,080
Let's get out of here.
424
00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:07,500
See? I told you
that unicorns don't exist.
425
00:20:09,830 --> 00:20:12,580
I'd like to start off
by saying I was wrong.
426
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:16,500
And for the record,
a woman admitting she was wrong
is a unicorn in itself.
427
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,210
(grunting)
428
00:20:21,250 --> 00:20:23,620
Yes! Get him, Danny!
429
00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:28,580
-(bell dings)
-Yeah! Ha-ha!
430
00:20:28,580 --> 00:20:30,830
Yeah! Yeah!
431
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:33,420
Oh, my God!
Danny, you did it!
432
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:36,420
Oh God! Oh!
I'm so proud of you!
433
00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:39,380
And listen, honey, I am sorry
for sleeping with Ryan.
434
00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:41,500
Oh. It's okay, Mom.
435
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:45,540
Oddly enough, I appreciate
why you do what you do.
436
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:47,000
Is Tucker okay?
437
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,210
Have you seen Ben?
438
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,790
I wanted to apologize again.
439
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,250
Yeah, I think
he went to bed,
440
00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:59,580
but, um,
you can check his room.
441
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,460
I'm fine, by the way.
442
00:21:06,420 --> 00:21:07,540
Knock, knock.
443
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,460
Aw, don't worry, Emma.
444
00:21:19,460 --> 00:21:21,420
Someday you'll get
your own room.
34580
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