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1
00:00:00,421 --> 00:00:03,624
♪♪
2
00:00:06,587 --> 00:00:09,590
All right, gentlemen,
and I use that word
quite sarcastically,
3
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:12,263
it's time
to lighten your wallets
with a game called poker.
4
00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:13,844
Poker!
5
00:00:13,844 --> 00:00:17,638
Okay, let that be
the only new word
she learns tonight, got it?
6
00:00:17,638 --> 00:00:19,019
Got it.
7
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,601
So, should we start
with a little five-card stud?
8
00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:22,273
Stud!
9
00:00:22,273 --> 00:00:23,814
(laughs) Sorry.
10
00:00:25,446 --> 00:00:27,908
All right,
the buy-in is 20 bucks.
11
00:00:27,908 --> 00:00:31,202
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Condoms
instead of chips?
12
00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:34,245
Look, we are not giving you
20 bucks for condoms.
13
00:00:34,245 --> 00:00:37,248
We can steal these
for free from your room.
14
00:00:37,248 --> 00:00:38,919
Well, I'm tired
of supporting your habit.
15
00:00:38,919 --> 00:00:42,463
From now on, if you wanna
get laid, I've gotta get paid.
16
00:00:42,463 --> 00:00:44,875
Hey, I don't think anyone
should use this one.
17
00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:46,167
There's a bunch
of tiny holes in it.
18
00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:47,838
Wait, same with these.
19
00:00:47,838 --> 00:00:51,302
And this one.
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
20
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:53,264
They all
have holes in them!
21
00:00:53,264 --> 00:00:55,055
We've been using
these condoms.
22
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,097
Do you know
what this means?
23
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:58,018
Uh-oh!
24
00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:01,272
You heard the girl,
start panicking!
25
00:01:01,272 --> 00:01:04,275
(theme music playing)
26
00:01:04,275 --> 00:01:07,318
♪ It's amazing
how the unexpected ♪
27
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:10,451
♪ Can take your life
and change directions ♪
28
00:01:13,994 --> 00:01:16,497
I checked them all,
they all have holes in them.
29
00:01:16,497 --> 00:01:20,911
So all three of our girlfriends
might be pregnant?
30
00:01:20,911 --> 00:01:23,544
See, man, this is what happens
when you buy condoms in bulk.
31
00:01:24,545 --> 00:01:27,208
You have babies in bulk!
32
00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:29,340
Oh, I can't breathe!
33
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:31,212
Well, isn't this just perfect?
34
00:01:31,212 --> 00:01:33,093
Sam and I are finally together,
and now our next date
35
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,267
is gonna be dinner, movie,
and an ultrasound.
36
00:01:36,267 --> 00:01:37,558
But what about me, man?
37
00:01:37,558 --> 00:01:39,350
"Oh, hey, Renee, I wasn't sure
38
00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:41,312
"what to get you
for our one-month anniversary,
39
00:01:41,312 --> 00:01:44,275
so I got you a baby!"
40
00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:46,026
What are we gonna do?
41
00:01:46,026 --> 00:01:47,398
I guess we'll just
have to tell them.
42
00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:48,729
No, about my breathing!
43
00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:51,362
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why would we tell
them something
44
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:53,404
when there might be
nothing to tell?
45
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:55,326
Right? I mean,
it's only a problem
46
00:01:55,326 --> 00:01:57,448
if someone is
actually pregnant.
47
00:01:57,448 --> 00:01:59,240
He's right.
48
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,292
There might be nothing
to worry about.
49
00:02:01,292 --> 00:02:02,333
We just gotta find a way
50
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:03,204
for them to take
a pregnancy test
51
00:02:03,204 --> 00:02:04,665
without them knowing.
52
00:02:04,665 --> 00:02:06,417
I'd help you think of stuff,
53
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:09,670
but there's no blood
in my brain right now.
54
00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:11,802
Which is exactly how
I got in this situation
55
00:02:11,802 --> 00:02:14,555
in the first place.
56
00:02:17,718 --> 00:02:19,019
Is there a non-creepy,
57
00:02:19,019 --> 00:02:20,261
non-suspicious way
to ask a girl
58
00:02:20,261 --> 00:02:21,682
to pee on a stick for you?
59
00:02:21,682 --> 00:02:23,604
No... no, but look.
60
00:02:23,604 --> 00:02:26,317
There is a test you can take
using just saliva.
61
00:02:26,317 --> 00:02:28,229
Oh, oh, saliva? I'm in!
62
00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:29,650
Do mine first.
63
00:02:32,032 --> 00:02:34,325
Yeah, he especially
should not be having a baby.
64
00:02:34,325 --> 00:02:35,536
Yeah, no.
65
00:02:37,278 --> 00:02:39,410
No, Danny, I can't leave work
in the middle of the day
66
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,412
to help you lick envelopes.
67
00:02:42,583 --> 00:02:46,247
All right. I'll see you tonight.
68
00:02:46,247 --> 00:02:47,288
Love you.
69
00:02:47,288 --> 00:02:48,839
Aw. I know you do.
70
00:02:48,839 --> 00:02:50,921
Wish I could say it back.
71
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,463
So, why am I here?
72
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:55,346
Okay, so the partners
finally gave me an assistant--
73
00:02:55,346 --> 00:02:57,468
Here you are, Ms. Perrin,
74
00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:59,720
the affidavits
for the Murphy case
you requested,
75
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,472
coffee, black, two sugars,
and a reminder
76
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,063
that your meeting starts
in five minutes.
77
00:03:03,063 --> 00:03:05,396
Uh, actually, I asked
for the Torkelson file,
78
00:03:05,396 --> 00:03:09,310
I drink tea, and my meeting
started two hours ago.
79
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:13,073
Right. Uh,
the Harrison file,
soy latte,
80
00:03:13,073 --> 00:03:15,316
and gather everyone
in the conference room
for your meeting.
81
00:03:18,989 --> 00:03:21,031
Wow.
82
00:03:21,031 --> 00:03:23,704
Does that kind
of incompetence
come with a helmet?
83
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,326
He has got to go.
84
00:03:25,326 --> 00:03:28,539
I know. I know. All right,
that's why I wanted to talk
to you.
85
00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:33,213
I just don't have your kind
of cruel, heartless,
go-for-the-throat--
86
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,216
Stop it,
you're making me blush.
87
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:41,512
Okay, it's simple.
You just have to be
direct, okay?
88
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,344
Roger,
can I see you, please?
89
00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:44,435
Oh, no, no, what are you doing?
90
00:03:44,435 --> 00:03:47,187
-I can't.
-Yes. You can.
91
00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:50,561
Just pretend he's a cupcake,
and eat him alive!
92
00:03:52,022 --> 00:03:56,657
Roger, Ms. Perrin has some
unfortunate news for you.
93
00:03:56,657 --> 00:03:58,489
What is it, Ms. Perrin?
94
00:03:58,489 --> 00:04:02,323
Uh, Roger, um, I just--
I was just thinking that...
95
00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:06,076
(muttering, whimpering)
96
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:13,754
Hey! You got a minute?
97
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,676
I'm just trying out
some new appetizers.
What do you think?
98
00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:21,552
Oh, my God,
it's disgusting.
99
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:22,973
Yeah, I thought
it was gross, too.
100
00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:24,515
Here, go ahead, spit it out.
101
00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:27,227
All of it. Even the saliva.
102
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:35,396
(snoring softly)
103
00:04:44,865 --> 00:04:47,287
(gags, coughs)
104
00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:51,542
Huh? Danny...
Danny, wake up.
105
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,083
What's wrong, babe?
106
00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:55,376
I was just choking on this,
this was in my mouth.
107
00:04:55,376 --> 00:04:58,258
Well, you were snoring
pretty hard,
108
00:04:58,258 --> 00:05:00,300
maybe you sucked it in
from the bathroom.
109
00:05:09,730 --> 00:05:11,432
(knocking)
110
00:05:11,432 --> 00:05:13,604
Roger? What are
you doing here?
111
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,436
Ms. Perrin has
a client meeting this morning,
112
00:05:15,436 --> 00:05:17,778
and I gave her
the wrong case files
yesterday before she left.
113
00:05:17,778 --> 00:05:19,610
-Where's the meeting?
-At our office.
114
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,742
-Where are you coming from?
-The office.
115
00:05:21,742 --> 00:05:23,614
See where I'm going with this?
116
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,447
Oh, my God!
I'm the worst assistant ever.
117
00:05:26,447 --> 00:05:29,410
Roger, why don't you
come inside, and we'll
have a little chatty-chat
118
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:30,711
about your work sitch?
119
00:05:30,711 --> 00:05:33,083
Uh-oh.
120
00:05:34,915 --> 00:05:38,338
Uh-oh? Why did
the little girl
say "Uh-oh"?
121
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,760
Oh, I knew it,
I'm getting fired.
122
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,802
I don't know
what's wrong with me.
123
00:05:41,802 --> 00:05:45,095
Ever since I met the girl
of my dreams, I just haven't
been able to focus.
124
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,808
So, that's why
you've been so bad?
125
00:05:47,808 --> 00:05:49,560
You're in love?
126
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,393
Oh... Roger.
127
00:05:57,938 --> 00:06:00,190
I've always struggled
with confidence.
128
00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:02,863
I try, but it's hard
when no one's ever
believed in you.
129
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,115
But I'm sure
someone like you has no idea
130
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,037
what I'm talking about.
131
00:06:07,037 --> 00:06:11,452
Sure, I'm confident now.
I mean, I could knock you down
132
00:06:11,452 --> 00:06:13,624
and take you right here
on this couch if I wanted to.
133
00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:21,261
But you know, Roger,
it wasn't long ago
that I woke up one day
134
00:06:21,261 --> 00:06:24,675
with no husband, no job,
and worst of all,
135
00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:27,177
no one around to believe in me.
136
00:06:27,177 --> 00:06:29,470
I don't wish that feeling
on anyone.
137
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:31,562
You know what, Roger?
138
00:06:31,562 --> 00:06:34,224
I am gonna help you
find your confidence.
139
00:06:34,224 --> 00:06:35,976
Just let me
put my granddaughter
down for a nap.
140
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:42,863
See, Emma? Sometimes
we have to do the right thing,
141
00:06:42,863 --> 00:06:44,735
and open our hearts to losers.
142
00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:48,619
There we go. Okay.
143
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,291
(gasps) My earring.
144
00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:53,584
I've been looking
all over for this.
145
00:06:53,584 --> 00:06:55,456
Oh, you could've gotten hurt.
146
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,630
Okay, come here, sweets.
147
00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:02,543
Oh... and a condom. Nice.
148
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:03,544
God.
149
00:07:05,546 --> 00:07:09,640
Emma... did you poke holes
in this with Grandma's earring?
150
00:07:11,311 --> 00:07:15,055
No, Emma. Never do that.
151
00:07:15,055 --> 00:07:17,017
Unless he's a billionaire
or a movie star.
152
00:07:25,325 --> 00:07:29,780
Holey condoms, Emma!
You turned these things
into sprinklers!
153
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:34,625
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no...
154
00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,206
Okay, I'm ready
for my first lesson.
155
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,538
Oh, first lesson.
156
00:07:37,538 --> 00:07:39,750
Right, um...
Oh, it's babysitting!
157
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:40,751
(shrieks)
158
00:07:43,584 --> 00:07:44,715
(elevator dings)
159
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,006
Oh, hey, Mom.
160
00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:49,429
Big problem. Have you--
Did you-- Don't panic!
161
00:07:49,429 --> 00:07:50,551
I'm gonna take care of it.
162
00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:52,933
(muttering) Oh, yeah.
They're sprinklers,
they got holes...
163
00:07:56,557 --> 00:07:59,099
Must've run out
of wine again.
164
00:07:59,099 --> 00:08:02,062
I can't believe
we all struck out
on the saliva test.
165
00:08:02,062 --> 00:08:03,363
What are we gonna do now?
166
00:08:03,363 --> 00:08:04,985
I vote for nothing.
167
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,817
Look, if they're pregnant,
they'll tell us eventually,
168
00:08:06,817 --> 00:08:08,569
and we'll just pretend
we don't know how it happened.
169
00:08:08,569 --> 00:08:11,241
I like it. I'm really good
at not knowing anything.
170
00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:16,537
For example, I don't know
who this guy is.
171
00:08:18,378 --> 00:08:20,791
You're probably
all wondering
why I asked you here.
172
00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:24,795
Not me. How much
do you need, 40, 50?
173
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:26,837
Thanks.
174
00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:29,680
But that's not
why I'm here.
175
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:33,393
Have any of you
used one of these condoms
from Ben's room?
176
00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:34,765
-Yeah.
-Definitely.
177
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,557
I think so.
178
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:39,189
Well, that is
a problem then.
179
00:08:39,189 --> 00:08:40,901
Why, is something wrong
with the condoms?
180
00:08:40,901 --> 00:08:43,734
No, I'm taking a survey.
Yes, something's wrong
with the condoms.
181
00:08:43,734 --> 00:08:45,485
You all might be pregnant.
182
00:08:45,485 --> 00:08:49,820
(all talking at once)
183
00:08:57,748 --> 00:08:59,419
(timer dings)
184
00:08:59,419 --> 00:09:00,831
-Oh, thank God!
-Perfect!
185
00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,502
-Negative!
-Not pregnant!
186
00:09:02,502 --> 00:09:04,254
Dodged that Tucker bullet!
187
00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:06,717
I'm on the pill,
but you never know.
188
00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:10,470
Well, I say we celebrate
with a drink we almost
couldn't have for nine months.
189
00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:13,223
And I know right where
Ben keeps the good stuff.
190
00:09:13,223 --> 00:09:14,675
Ah!
191
00:09:14,675 --> 00:09:18,849
Which is right next to
a saliva pregnancy test.
192
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:24,144
Oh, my God, they knew.
193
00:09:24,144 --> 00:09:27,357
All right. I woke up last night
with a cotton swab in my mouth.
194
00:09:27,357 --> 00:09:29,239
Unbelievable!
195
00:09:29,239 --> 00:09:32,452
You think you know
everything about a person
after four dates,
196
00:09:32,452 --> 00:09:34,364
and then he pulls
something like this.
197
00:09:35,746 --> 00:09:37,998
Well, then maybe
they should know
what it's like,,,
198
00:09:37,998 --> 00:09:40,370
if we were pregnant.
199
00:09:43,794 --> 00:09:46,416
Sorry, Danny,
I just don't feel
like lunch today.
200
00:09:46,416 --> 00:09:48,839
Yeah, I've been nauseous
all morning.
201
00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:50,300
(retches) Oh, no!
202
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,633
Here it comes again!
I gotta go, bye!
203
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:56,216
Now it's your turn
to feel nauseous.
204
00:09:56,216 --> 00:09:59,640
Hey, hey.
So, what's the verdict?
205
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:03,894
Not to dramatize,
but are you fertilized?
206
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,526
Nope, negative.
207
00:10:06,526 --> 00:10:09,730
Yeah, which is right in line
with how I feel about men
right now.
208
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:12,733
So you know what I'm gonna do?
I am going to fire one.
209
00:10:13,784 --> 00:10:16,366
Roger, get your
sweet little ass in here.
210
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:19,700
Whoa whoa.
You know, Riley,
211
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,792
sometimes people just need
someone to believe in them.
212
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:24,745
They just need a word
of encouragement or two.
213
00:10:24,745 --> 00:10:27,627
I cannot believe you're drunk
in the middle of the day.
214
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:31,051
All right. I am firing him.
215
00:10:31,051 --> 00:10:33,093
No... No, you can't.
216
00:10:33,093 --> 00:10:34,925
He's the boss's son.
217
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,516
-What?
-Yeah.
218
00:10:36,516 --> 00:10:37,678
My God, really?
219
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:40,100
How did I not know this?
220
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:43,063
Thank you so much.
You just saved my career.
221
00:10:43,063 --> 00:10:45,936
Hey! Hey you!
222
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:49,109
Is everything okay?
Am I getting fired?
223
00:10:49,109 --> 00:10:51,231
Fired? You?
224
00:10:51,231 --> 00:10:53,653
No! That's...
That's hilarious.
225
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,985
(laughing)
226
00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:57,117
So funny!
227
00:10:57,117 --> 00:10:59,199
No, you and me,
we're a team.
228
00:10:59,199 --> 00:11:00,701
All right? We're partners.
229
00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:04,785
Speaking of partners,
I would really like
to be one one day.
230
00:11:04,785 --> 00:11:07,838
But I'm gonna go
to my staff meeting,
231
00:11:07,838 --> 00:11:09,669
which is in room...?
232
00:11:12,002 --> 00:11:13,593
You know what,
I'll find it.
233
00:11:14,845 --> 00:11:18,849
Oh, and by the way,
I love that sweater.
So handsome.
234
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,682
Oh, my God!
I get to keep my job!
235
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,395
And... I think she might
love me, too.
236
00:11:25,395 --> 00:11:29,309
Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't
doubt it. Wait, what?
237
00:11:29,309 --> 00:11:31,982
Riley is the girl
you're in love with?
238
00:11:31,982 --> 00:11:33,734
Yes, I thought that was clear.
239
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:35,816
Did you tell me
it was a girl at the office?
240
00:11:35,816 --> 00:11:37,908
-No.
-Did you tell me
it was Riley?
241
00:11:37,908 --> 00:11:39,449
-No.
-See where
I'm going with this?
242
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,036
Aren't you hungry?
243
00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:48,668
Or are you one of those girls
who eats before a date
244
00:11:48,668 --> 00:11:50,500
so you can look like
you hardly eat?
245
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,833
(laughs)
I do that!
246
00:11:54,424 --> 00:11:58,298
I'm just feeling
a little... nauseous.
247
00:11:58,298 --> 00:12:00,220
Nauseous?
248
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,763
You feel nauseous?
249
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,555
Yeah. It usually
only happens
in the morning.
250
00:12:05,555 --> 00:12:07,187
I hope I'm not
catching a bug.
251
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:10,941
It might be a bit bigger
than a bug.
252
00:12:12,442 --> 00:12:15,195
Hey. What do you feel
like doing after work today?
253
00:12:15,195 --> 00:12:17,617
I think I'm just gonna
go home and lie down.
254
00:12:17,617 --> 00:12:19,569
I don't know what's wrong
with me, but my back hurts,
255
00:12:19,569 --> 00:12:22,412
my ankles are swollen,
and even my boobs
are a little sore.
256
00:12:22,412 --> 00:12:25,866
If I didn't know any better,
I'd say I was pregnant.
257
00:12:25,866 --> 00:12:28,368
Pregnant?
258
00:12:28,368 --> 00:12:29,960
Ha!
259
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,712
'Cause that calls
for a "Ha!"
260
00:12:32,712 --> 00:12:33,874
Ha...
261
00:12:38,969 --> 00:12:40,090
Oh my, God.
262
00:12:41,181 --> 00:12:43,053
I'm glad
you're feeling better.
263
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,724
I'm starving.
264
00:12:44,724 --> 00:12:46,516
But you know
what I would really love?
265
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:50,020
A peanut butter
and pickle sandwich.
266
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:52,853
Weird, huh?
267
00:12:52,853 --> 00:12:55,315
So you'd say
you're having a craving?
268
00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:57,567
Yeah! Yeah, I would.
269
00:13:05,495 --> 00:13:06,576
Riley's pregnant.
270
00:13:06,576 --> 00:13:08,909
-So is Renee.
-I think Sam's pregnant, too.
271
00:13:08,909 --> 00:13:11,962
Okay. Are we about
to high-five or freak out?
272
00:13:11,962 --> 00:13:13,173
Because I'm leaning
towards freaking out.
273
00:13:13,173 --> 00:13:15,795
-Freak out.
-Okay.
274
00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:21,181
Okay, let's review.
275
00:13:21,181 --> 00:13:23,093
Danny, you're going
to have a child
276
00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:24,634
with the girl of your dreams.
277
00:13:24,634 --> 00:13:27,687
Ben, you're having
your second unplanned child
278
00:13:27,687 --> 00:13:30,931
with a cheerleader
you've been in love with
since high school.
279
00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:32,893
And I've knocked up a girl
whose name I'm not even sure
280
00:13:32,893 --> 00:13:35,605
is spelled
with two "E's" or three.
281
00:13:35,605 --> 00:13:37,898
Well, then, we're just gonna
have to tell them the truth.
282
00:13:37,898 --> 00:13:40,780
No. No, no one
is telling anyone anything.
283
00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:42,993
Riley and I just got back
together, and if she finds out
284
00:13:42,993 --> 00:13:44,744
I was lying to her
and didn't say anything,
285
00:13:44,744 --> 00:13:46,446
then there will be
no more back together.
286
00:13:46,446 --> 00:13:48,118
Wait. We wouldn't even
be in this mess
287
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,000
if the girls found out
about the condoms
288
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,872
at the same time we did.
289
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:57,217
I get it. We just keep
using the condoms until
they notice the holes in them.
290
00:13:57,217 --> 00:14:00,510
No.
291
00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:03,223
We just redo the poker game,
and this time we invite them.
292
00:14:03,223 --> 00:14:08,098
And we discover the bad condoms
all together. It's genius.
293
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,640
As long as we're doing that,
can we also redo the poker game
294
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,932
from three weeks ago?
295
00:14:11,932 --> 00:14:13,733
'Cause I lost
a ton of money that night.
296
00:14:16,566 --> 00:14:18,528
Roger! No!
297
00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:24,074
I told you,
Riley has a boyfriend.
298
00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:27,157
A big giant boyfriend.
299
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,449
But I feel like
she's seen the light.
300
00:14:29,449 --> 00:14:32,542
Yeah, well, that light's
gonna get real dark
once he punches you out.
301
00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:35,705
Riley is worth
a thousand punches
to the head.
302
00:14:35,705 --> 00:14:39,169
Which clearly,
you've already taken.
303
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:42,842
Listen, Roger.
Danny and Riley
just got back together.
304
00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:45,805
But currently,
their relationship
is hanging on by a thread.
305
00:14:45,805 --> 00:14:49,139
And I'm not gonna let you
snap it by barging in there
306
00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:50,971
and professing
your love for her.
307
00:14:50,971 --> 00:14:54,274
So Riley's in there?
And I have a chance?
308
00:14:54,274 --> 00:14:55,976
Riley, I'm coming for you!
309
00:14:55,976 --> 00:14:58,018
Oh, no, you're not!
No, you're not!
310
00:14:58,018 --> 00:15:01,111
No, you're not!
I can do this all day,
pretty boy!
311
00:15:01,111 --> 00:15:02,862
You are going down!
312
00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:06,196
Bring it on, Roger.
Bring it on!
313
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:09,119
-The roof!
-Ohh, damn it!
314
00:15:09,119 --> 00:15:12,912
Roger! No! No, no, no!
315
00:15:13,994 --> 00:15:15,535
Well, this is a first.
316
00:15:15,535 --> 00:15:17,958
You guys inviting us
to poker night.
317
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,089
Where are the chips?
318
00:15:19,089 --> 00:15:21,751
Oh. It's normally
a $20 buy-in, but...
319
00:15:21,751 --> 00:15:25,215
we can make this
a friendly game, right?
320
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:26,256
Condoms.
321
00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:28,848
Wow, that's...
pretty friendly.
322
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:32,312
Oh, you're not
going anywhere.
323
00:15:32,312 --> 00:15:35,055
(both grunting)
324
00:15:35,055 --> 00:15:36,856
Damn, you're bony!
325
00:15:36,856 --> 00:15:37,897
Ow!
326
00:15:37,897 --> 00:15:40,981
Five-card draw,
one-eyed Jacks are wild.
327
00:15:44,024 --> 00:15:46,236
Riley, do you have
enough chips?
328
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,069
Or do you want
a couple of mine?
329
00:15:49,069 --> 00:15:52,832
I'm good. Thanks.
Uh, I'll take two.
330
00:15:56,126 --> 00:15:59,079
What? This is weird.
331
00:15:59,079 --> 00:16:02,082
Wow, this condom has
a bunch of holes in it.
332
00:16:02,082 --> 00:16:05,175
Wow, and--
Oh, my God,
you guys, here we are
333
00:16:05,175 --> 00:16:09,889
all just discovering it
for the very first time.
334
00:16:09,889 --> 00:16:12,932
Well, lucky you found it now,
am I right?
335
00:16:12,932 --> 00:16:15,055
I'll take one.
336
00:16:15,055 --> 00:16:17,307
(stammers)
Hey! Wait.
337
00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:19,729
This condom has
a couple of holes
in it, too.
338
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,101
I wonder if they all do?
339
00:16:21,101 --> 00:16:23,063
Oh, my God,
Danny, you're right.
340
00:16:23,063 --> 00:16:25,065
They must all be defective.
341
00:16:25,065 --> 00:16:27,197
Then let's make sure
we don't use those.
342
00:16:27,197 --> 00:16:28,368
Three, please.
343
00:16:28,368 --> 00:16:30,280
What if we've
already used them?
344
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,242
Surely someone must
be thinking that?
345
00:16:33,823 --> 00:16:34,914
Anyone?
346
00:16:39,539 --> 00:16:42,122
Aah! Pull me back up!
347
00:16:42,122 --> 00:16:44,584
Only if you leave
Riley alone!
348
00:16:44,584 --> 00:16:46,086
Never!
349
00:16:46,086 --> 00:16:49,259
Are you sure, Roge?
You're gettin' pretty heavy.
350
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,682
Ben, so what if we all
used your condoms?
351
00:16:52,682 --> 00:16:55,225
I think we'd know
if we were pregnant,
right, ladies?
352
00:16:55,225 --> 00:16:57,187
-Of course.
-Yeah, totally.
353
00:16:57,187 --> 00:17:00,730
Ah! Full house!
Read 'em and weep!
354
00:17:00,730 --> 00:17:03,313
The cards don't lie.
355
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,735
The cards don't,
but we do!
356
00:17:05,735 --> 00:17:09,149
Riley, you're pregnant.
You're all pregnant!
357
00:17:09,149 --> 00:17:10,950
I really wanted to tell you
about the condoms,
358
00:17:10,950 --> 00:17:12,322
but they didn't let me.
359
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:14,114
I'm so sorry, please, please,
don't break up with me again.
360
00:17:14,114 --> 00:17:16,116
Our child needs a father!
361
00:17:17,577 --> 00:17:21,161
I liked it better when
you didn't know anything.
362
00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:24,834
I'm not pregnant.
363
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:26,126
Okay? None of us are.
364
00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:28,338
That's not true,
you have all the symptoms.
365
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:31,341
No, the only symptoms
we have are dating
a bunch of idiots.
366
00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:33,883
Your mom told us
about the holes
in the condoms.
367
00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:35,635
Thank God for her,
she saved our lives.
368
00:17:35,635 --> 00:17:38,228
(grunting, panting)
369
00:17:39,269 --> 00:17:42,182
Oh, my God!
You saved my life.
370
00:17:42,182 --> 00:17:47,187
Yeah, that's right.
So now you'll leave Riley alone?
371
00:17:47,187 --> 00:17:48,738
Riley!
372
00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:51,151
Dammit!
373
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,245
I'm sorry.
374
00:17:55,245 --> 00:17:56,656
I didn't know what to do.
375
00:17:56,656 --> 00:18:00,870
Well, here's a crazy idea:
maybe tell the truth next time.
376
00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:08,168
Eh, she'll be fine.
I'll call her tomorrow.
377
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:13,343
Wow, Tucker,
too bad your girlfriend
isn't very understanding.
378
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,215
Thank God mine is.
379
00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:17,347
Right?
380
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,389
You almost gave me
a heart attack.
381
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:21,431
The last thing
I want to do right now
is have a kid.
382
00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:24,484
Trust me, neither do I.
Eventually, sure,
but right now,
383
00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:26,276
no, thank you.
Am I right?
384
00:18:26,276 --> 00:18:29,989
So right. Not now,
and actually, not ever.
385
00:18:31,231 --> 00:18:33,903
Riley, I think you're right.
386
00:18:33,903 --> 00:18:35,575
We should just
forget this ever happened.
387
00:18:35,575 --> 00:18:38,037
I never said that.
388
00:18:38,037 --> 00:18:40,160
Could you?
389
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,333
Danny, you should've
followed your instincts,
390
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:46,125
and not let anyone...
Ben or Tucker...
391
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,127
talk you out of telling me.
392
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,340
We have to believe
that our relationship
is strong enough
393
00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:52,552
that we don't
have to hide anything
from each other,
394
00:18:52,552 --> 00:18:56,636
that there's absolutely nothing
that I wouldn't tell you about.
395
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,599
Riley, I love you!
And I know you love me!
396
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,815
Is there something
you wanna tell me?
397
00:19:05,815 --> 00:19:07,357
No, I'm good.
398
00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:13,112
So, let's never
do that again.
399
00:19:13,112 --> 00:19:15,905
By "again" you mean the use
of defective condoms, right?
400
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,617
Because if we're never doing
the other thing again,
401
00:19:17,617 --> 00:19:19,869
I foresee some issues
with our relationship.
402
00:19:19,869 --> 00:19:23,162
Yes, I meant the condoms.
403
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,286
But let's maybe triple down
from now on.
404
00:19:26,286 --> 00:19:28,708
The whole kid thing
is a little too much for me.
405
00:19:28,708 --> 00:19:33,553
Yeah... about that.
Did you really mean
you never wanna have kids?
406
00:19:33,553 --> 00:19:37,257
I did, it's just...
not something I see
in my future.
407
00:19:37,257 --> 00:19:41,511
But... I have a kid,
and she's definitely
in my future.
408
00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:44,013
Oh, and I will
totally get used to that.
409
00:19:44,013 --> 00:19:45,305
I can deal with Emma.
410
00:19:45,305 --> 00:19:49,649
Yeah... see...
"deal with" and "used to"
411
00:19:49,649 --> 00:19:53,112
are not exactly the words
a father wants to hear
about his little girl.
412
00:19:53,112 --> 00:19:56,366
Plus... I want more kids.
413
00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:59,779
Having a brother growing up
was part of what made me
who I am.
414
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:04,664
I'm sorry, Ben,
it's just not who I am.
415
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:10,880
I can't believe
I'm about to say this, but...
416
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,543
if that's
how you truly feel,
417
00:20:13,543 --> 00:20:17,046
then I don't think
we have a future, Sam.
418
00:20:17,046 --> 00:20:19,008
You're kidding, right?
419
00:20:19,008 --> 00:20:21,551
After all we went through
to get here?
420
00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:27,607
But here without a family
is nowhere for me.
I'm sorry.
421
00:20:27,607 --> 00:20:30,400
I'm sorry, too.
422
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:34,614
Hey! Has anyone seen Roger?
423
00:20:34,614 --> 00:20:39,449
Nope?
You know... you two
make a nice couple.
424
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:49,579
Well, it is a relief
to know that I'm not gonna be
a grandma again right away.
425
00:20:49,579 --> 00:20:53,463
But you know... those tests
aren't always accurate
this early in pregnancy.
426
00:20:53,463 --> 00:20:56,296
Okay. Well, I guess I know
what I'm doing on my lunch hour.
427
00:20:58,428 --> 00:21:01,220
Here's your tea,
your folder on the Johnson case,
428
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:02,592
and I had
your parking validated.
429
00:21:02,592 --> 00:21:05,885
I asked for a smoothie,
the Harper case,
430
00:21:05,885 --> 00:21:07,977
and I don't have a car,
431
00:21:07,977 --> 00:21:10,480
but... excellent work as always.
432
00:21:13,393 --> 00:21:15,234
So you still haven't
fired him yet?
433
00:21:15,234 --> 00:21:17,156
I can't. Remember, boss's son?
434
00:21:17,156 --> 00:21:19,489
Yeah, yeah, about that, um...
435
00:21:19,489 --> 00:21:21,491
Aah!
436
00:21:21,491 --> 00:21:24,494
You know what? Never mind.
32871
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