Original subtitles

[Music]

baby I wrote this song for

you I was up a night and I was [ __ ]

hi and I wrote it for

you you having fun

yet

yeah you know he wrote the song for

her

sure I don't

know kind of

romantic

sure BBE I wrote this song for

you [ __ ] yeah just

[Music]

you why didn't you ever play that for me

before I wasn't done

bunny I wanted it to be super good did

you dig it I did yeah yeah

nice and you found this yeah you're too

sweet where did she get that I think

should I don't know I I think you found

it in the

grass uh we're going to we're going to

go

[Music]

yeah

[Music]

all

right bunny

baby where are

you

all

right oh my

God

hey you're so bad I

[Music]

know

oh

God oh

God oh

God the story stays with

me

is

[Music]

the

[Music]

[Music]

I [ __ ] hate Vans that's a

shocker Trent couldn't you have picked a

research site a little closer to

civilization yeah where is this place

again it's an abandoned Farm the

university purchased like 10 years ago

they actually got it super cheap oh did

they they did well there's probably a

reason for that with the uh homicidal

boyfriend Indian massacring settlers and

don't forget the [ __ ] death cult jeez

somebody must have spent some time on

the internet last night yeah well had

some time to look up a few more

interesting things than that ooh were

they boobs and vaginas accounted nice

hey you guys need to start behaving you

signed up for the research yeah because

it's required for graduation coercion

much what are you

pre-law oh yeah nice soccer mom van

there Trent nice burn look it's going to

be a hard trip I realize this all right

but we can have fun too right we'll get

our research done and our work done

during the day and we'll party at night

don't let him get to you honey it's

going to be a fine week thank

you best week ever

when Kelly

[Music]

[Music]

comes thank you God that's heavy thank

you it's a gay

bag one thank you thank you

awesome

oh cool my

back

Ashley Cheryl ready for some more tent

Stakes we go thanks you want to help me

with those please thank you thanks for

your help things always give me a lot of

trouble h no problem besides I should

cover my share of the

rent I'm sorry rent yeah H

roomy I don't think

so besides don't you want a room with

Ashley Ashley's not the type of girl you

want to cohabitate

with would you want to room with Ashley

no way no well I guess that settles it

then actually Linda and I are going to

tent together oh well that's fine I

don't mind

Sharon the tent Cheryl yeah Jesus get

over yourself all right actually it's

pretty logical if you think about it I

mean Trent and Randy obviously me and

Linda

obviously you and Josh of course Ashley

has her own tent so we uh we should be

square yeah I guess um guess that covers

it

yeah I guess it's that

then

right got 3 days to bed

her hey [ __ ] uh the [ __ ] do I do

with this

thing sit on

it it's not

funny all this corn was affected by that

disease earlier this year yeah you can

see it right there we're going to the

barn you guys pack it up be ready we're

leaving first thing in the morning first

thing in the morning very first thing

remember I'm pretty much worthless

before 7:00 a.m. worthless as opposed

to merciless hey there's no

shower there's no shower out here okay

well I have to have a shower at least

once a day seriously it's like a week I

know a week without a shower that's

gross wow you're serious um I'll meet

you

there okay good luck with that

one

okay let's go find a shower

okay if mistaken is wrong then you

should help with

[Music]

the so not uh interrupting anything here

am I

no it's kind of hazy in

here yeah dude I don't give a [ __ ] all

right but don't let Trent see that stuff

man I'll tell you what you know he acts

all cool trying to be your buddy thesis

project this gets [ __ ] up he's liable

to kill

somebody so can I get in on

that

that's

disgusting it's not so

bad what am I going to do I have to be

clean tell you what I have a backup plan

I brought a hose with me we could hook

it up to the hydrant next to the barn

run it into the barn that'll be clean

water there's some privacy there too

that's going to be

freezing I'll tell you what I'll turn it

on in the morning on a warm the water

and the hose you have to keep your

showers down like 40 seconds though 40

seconds of warm water can you handle

that 40 seconds for a shower yeah it's

effective showering are you an

idiot that would hurt you like that

wood

[Music]

Hey Brother

Budd this thing still works this is an

unbelievable piece of Machinery well

good now we have wood for tonight

yeah

[ __ ] ball [ __ ]

wow

[Music]

[Music]

Jesus Jones God damn it I was looking

for you

everywhere I thought you in to Camp

without me what no I came in here

looking for you I'm looking for you yeah

well it's 7:00 so it was like 45 minutes

ago so what time is Camp um an hour

8ish so we have a little bit of time a

little bit a little bit how are we ever

going F that I know we could you know

make snow cones

or

something

H St would kill me for eating these

right now yeah as he afraid you're

letting yourself go cuz your arms about

as big as my wing you guys know he's

training to be an ultimate fighter he's

in really good shape it's only fair that

I'm in good shape too so is this how

it's going to be five of us fending for

ourselves while the love birds are off

doing God knows what I Bally guess what

they're doing right now

yeah I'm just saying you really think

they're doing it in the barn it's so

gross in there my God I would never do

it outside not even with Steve well

technically Trent's probably inside oh

you're such an

[ __ ] hey gang how's it

going Randy you're

glowing what's up man hey buddy did you

uh drop the gear off at the

barn you know you get some wood for the

fire pit I don't know what that means

did

uh s with her

man smells like

sex dude Cheryl is is totally

hot um I think she has eyes for only one

person here

so good luck with that I'll tell you

what I see this is not an obstacle but

an opportunity my friend I thought you

already had your [ __ ] buddy picked out

what uh

Ashley been there tasted

that stay away respect not on that all

the

way your beer my

dear so what are you guys talking about

nothing nothing a Linda has a great

voice yeah like really American idle

good even yeah she should she should go

she should try

out yeah you should she

does I get the

[Music]

hint good

[Music]

aren't you just Linda's little groupy

I'm so

am so love to see

that all right one more come on oncore

no no I think we're

[Music]

done before cartright Dunhill was

established

the settlers had a very uneasy

relationship with the

natives settlers would travel in really

large groups to this region to deter

attacks however their major Trails went

over the most holy of land for the

Indians Native

Americans

multiculturalism gag me well they were

here first

[ __ ] anybody else Ashley what about

you

I'll take that as a yes

anyways two days after Jack and Emma

cartright went

missing their bodies were found in the

woods

nearby

mutilated

scalped Raleigh cartright immediately

formed a war posi to fulfill his

revenge later that night settlers

massacred a nearby tribe

men women and

children no one was left

alive that's the official story but

according to Indian legend Jesus Trent

Native American Legend shut up

Ashley anyway several days later

tribesmen out on a

hunt discovered their slaughtered

Brethren they set a curse on the

Settler's responsib

nway the worst curse the most heinous of

Deeds oh cool uh awesome piece of land

to do your research on Trent yeah yeah

babe I'm a little creeped

out it's a Campfire story I'm just

trying to have fun with you guys okay

okay how does it

end uh the curse prevented the souls

from being laid to rest blah blah blah

the end [ __ ] you guys that's story

suck I scared you guys bad with the beer

Alex you forgot the beers [ __ ] I did I

forgot the

[Music]

[Applause]

beer

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

down

he

Linda he

[Music]

Linda oh

go

[Music]

Brothers we have human Godly Society

from The Savage

Earth we have toiled with our hands and

given our blood my loved ones have been

taken from me

reist to sa yours sure follow unless we

Cur to S Str for our

land releas

us you and Jack shall not leave

me

Sheryl come on get

up TR wants to get a lot done today

come on girl get up let's go Trent

seriously going to get

[Music]

pissed

are you all right oh fine just didn't

sleep very well last night did you drink

too much pretty toasty a bad

dream what that woman Trent told us

about my God that was so dumb everyone

around here knows that stupid

story I know that's what's so sucky

about

it don't worry I won't tell everyone how

lame you

are come

on

[Music]

it's so hot out I know

yeah it's really hot over here are you

almost

done you know what Ashley why don't you

take the shovel for a little while I got

to go start dictation for the

day I don't

shovel

h

thanks ladies do not

shovel time

1320 Ashley if you're listening that

means it's 20 minutes after

1 temperature

today hot as

[ __ ] humidity probably about 80% judging

by the amount of ass sweat I

have I hate them they make me want to

puke can't spell pass without giving a

little

[Music]

[Music]

ass

Last

Story

[Applause]

the

[Music]

hey is that you guys

[Music]

hello

[Music]

[Music]

hello

hello

our story must be

heard help please help help help please

help please please

help

16 August

1843 I am nearing the end of my

pregnancy I have counted back the months

and I fear this child does not belong to

Raleigh now the 30 September

1848 Jack has reached 5 years of age and

he looks less like Raleigh and more like

his true father as each day

passes Raleigh looks at him suspiciously

and I believe he may be beginning to

suspect the truth of Jack's

parentage as he is such a proud 3 May

1853 I am certain Raley knows he treats

Jack more as a servant than a son and he

punishes him

mercilessly I do not believe he will let

this pass much longer as Jack is a

perfect likeness of his father and the

town's people have begun to

notice I fear for our lives we must

flee help us please help us help us help

please help us please please

[Applause]

help

[Music]

hey

gang let's get ready to roll out oh

sorry where's joshh leaving himself

after like 20 minutes now somebody

should probably go look for him yeah

Josh hey quit masturbating we got to go

not what I had in mind no no oh sorry

you're an idiot

I'm going to go find him BRB TT L

dude let like talk to you later yeah Tex

yeah okay yeah funny what's up Randy

probably your dick

really that was

funny

Josh

Josh Jesus man

looking for

you yo I'm like 10 ft from you

buddy y man

hey what the Light

reading yeah I guess man this shit's so

[ __ ]

up I bet balls deep in that thing we got

to roll out man let's

[Music]

go that was good work guys good job

today good enthusiasm Ashley are we done

we are done thank God I'm

disgusting I'm going to take a

shower do not follow

me you heard

her how drunk was I thinking that that

was ever a good idea ever such an

idiot just thinking at myself got to

stop thinking with my winking

[Music]

40 seconds you can do

this God why am I doing

this 34 33 32

31 is someone

there Alex I'm going to kick your

ass

7 6 and

[Music]

5 40 seconds my

[Music]

ass

[Music]

feel me

to

telling T it's

truth telling T it's truth

be telling tail it's truth

be telling tell it's truth

be telling tell it's truth be telling

tell it's truth we

told telling ta

it's telling tail is truth

P telling tail is truth be

told telling tale it's truth be told

telling it's truth told

tell

be

be Cher joser what is that

man do you hear

that

Cher

joshh wake up you

[ __ ]

Still

Still

Still what the hell is that what is

going on

Jesus land with the H something is

really wrong with JL she's talking or

chanting or something in her sleep I

don't know what's wrong her up no [ __ ] I

tried I don't know what's wrong with

her telling tale it's truth be told the

telling tale it's truth be told the

telling

T I don't know she's freaking

out be t tr get in here going get St I

don't know what the hell's going on get

out get out of 10 get out

[Music]

of we do Jesus

Christ

Cheryl are you

okay say something are you all right

scared the [ __ ] out of

us what the hell was

that what are we going to do everybody

go back to bed what everybody go back to

sleep go back to your tents

sh what the

[ __ ]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

sherff hey hi why you going to take the

sample or sorry I'm a little out of it

today I'm sure Ashley would be a better

research

partner you scared the [ __ ] out of me

last night this is A4 so did the two of

you talk about me and give each other

makeovers oh yeah that would' be the

perfect time to make Posh Spice my new

BFF yeah that whole Linda Blair thing he

had going on last night perfect out yeah

it was great we talked about um the

subtle power of pink and uh the Majesty

of Cosmo quizzes yeah it was awesome hey

what other of you ladies like to help me

with my

dick tation

dictation no okay

then July

15th day two of collecting

sample

four clear skies average temperature

80 sight is a buted on all sides by

trees

[ __ ] that's what she said Randy and

Trent relationship status

strong and I'm still wondering if I'm

going to hook up with Cheryl or not

prognosis currently

unknown

hey Ashley he going to lay there getting

a suntan all day

or

yeah all right then Steve's taken me to

his cousin's wedding in 2 weeks and I

have to be Dan and leave me

alone and don't block my

[Laughter]

son

[Music]

f

[Music]

[Music]

guys guys hey I think I found

something

[Music]

dude what the hell is it I'm an Agronomy

major not Indiana [ __ ] Jones it looks

like a religious artifact I wonder if

these could have been burial grounds for

a native tribe listen right to look but

let's make sure everything goes back

where it belongs okay this land used to

mean something to somebody got to be

respectful of

[Music]

that

yeah

[Music]

[ __ ] knock the snoring

off for [ __ ]

sake God damn it where did that [ __ ]

[ __ ] hide all the

beer never been more sober in all my

life

really

hav't the [ __ ] is

[Music]

[Music]

that

[Music]

[Music]

charge you must leave father will pun is

you

[Music]

[Music]

for

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[ __ ]

[ __ ]

[ __ ]

[ __ ]

are you

awake yeah you getting

up

anybody seen Cheryl she went on a hike

first thing this morning by herself no

Josh is

wether oh nice he dude e why would Josh

be with her I don't know why would uh

two people sneak off into the woods

alone Randy TR so what do we look for

him maybe I hate to jump on the perv

train but Alex is probably right call

her and tell her to meet us at site 5

Alex we're leaving in 20 minutes with

pants great

cool it's going to be a good day good

day hey Shar it's me

um I don't know where you're at we're

leaving um we're going to site 5 it's on

your map um call me when you get this

okay

bye yeah good only four outliers which

is actually much better

than up you guys that's fine don't you

agree

no youing okay our fearless leader is a

douchebag and you're not much better

look Trent's just really stressed out

you know tries to play all cool the

ear's fine but the guy's under a lot of

pressure seriously dude it's like the

culmination of 5 years of

work look I'll tell you what

okay after we get some real work done

today Trent will be so pissed off and we

can sneak away and go look for those two

love birds oh man we don't think they're

like doing it do you I don't know maybe

tell you what little research trips like

this out into the woods

makes for some strange bad

fellows H maybe yeah we'll see what

[Music]

happens

[Music]

Cheryl Cheryl

Cheryl we missed you this

morning Linda tried to call you four

times where were you was here and this

morning morning I was at the

barn with

Josh

yeah where is Josh now he said he was

going to meet up with you guys I I felt

crappy so I stayed here and

slept did he find you no look I'm going

to have to report this to Dr Foy and the

three of us are going to settle this out

I know I'm sorry that was stupid you're

got damn right it was

[Music]

stupid it's wrong with

me

it's July

15th day two of collecting

samples time

1320 Ashley if you're listening that

means it's 20 minutes after

1 that's what she

said and the soil samples from today

look quite promising so just my best

efforts things are progressing quite

nicely why aren't you listening to

me why aren't you listening to

me why aren't you listening to

me please please listen I have

no we are trapped here trapped in this

godforsaken place we cannot

leave please please help us the pieces

are there the secrets must be

uncovered Raleigh must be shown for who

he truly

was please please help us we cannot take

this any

longer when he found out I feared for

our

lives we must flee no you must

[Music]

flee we haven't much

time Alex please listen

hey here's your water hey

thanks Lynn can I talk to you yes

please I don't I don't remember what

happened last night what I mean I don't

know what happened last night I don't I

don't remember anything up until you

guys found me at camp

today what about Josh I don't know there

was

like you know

what I'm sure he's

fine sure he's

fine hey we're about to make

dinner um why don't you go to the barn

and get

[Music]

Alex love

to please please help us cannot take

this any

longer when he found out I feared for

our

lives we must flee

listen we haven't much

time Alex please listen

Alex yeah's

ready

[Music]

thanks

why doesn't Josh have his phone who does

that well he probably didn't think he

was going to get service out here hey

what is

that this uh it's a book Josh was

reading yesterday he was all weird about

it what's in it I don't know I at first

I thought it was like a treasure map or

something and he's out on some

Expedition but I read

it and it's just some woman's diary

like I believe Raleigh knows I fear for

our lives we miss

flee what was that

Alex that

phrase could have sworn I heard that on

my tape record some random [ __ ] voice

said something about that a voice what

the hell are you talking about oh let me

hear it's nothing okay I I went back and

checked there's nothing there but you

heard a voice I thought thought there

was a voice okay I'm not sure I'm

[ __ ]

exhausted can't sleep with all this [ __ ]

going

on so this is your plan

Emma what okay so what are we supposed

to do just sit here and wait for him to

come back no you guys seriously

something's going on oh Josh is a big

boy you know what Josh is fine he's

probably at another site I think I even

had that convers a with him that we'd be

finishing up elsewhere now it's getting

dark he'll be here any

second right nothing's

wrong yeah

yet it's getting really late Josh should

be back by now yeah and at what time

will it be late enough to start looking

for him

about a half hour

ago you all have to stop seriously this

is [ __ ] up Josh is out in the woods

somewhere by himself and you guys won't

even look for him because it's dark I'm

tired [ __ ] I'm going to go pee you have

a minute 25 to put a search party

together that is

all there's a spider there's a nest of

spiders leaves of three here I do not

[Music]

pee the problem is is that I'm trying to

do something great here with my life and

I relied on other people and other

people are letting me down sometimes

you're just a little too anal though

like we can have fun but do you

understand like do you understand like

fun does not fit into me finishing like

I'm under an immen immense amount of

pressure my mother has her doctorates my

father has her do has his doctorates in

in chemistry like they're both just

unbelievably intelligent people and this

is really really frustrating when I'm

trying to do the same thing but I'm

being held back by some guy who wants to

go off in the Woods by himself for a

while

oh my

God

guys guys

run is that L what the hell is

[Music]

that you know I think it's just AOSS

something

[ __ ] I got to get out of here

right got to go back to Camp guys got

start square one no no out of here out

of the Wilderness out of the middle of

[ __ ] nowhere you all need to come

with me wait wait we can't just leave

Josh out

here [ __ ] it I'll

walk have fun with that you signed up

for 4 days of

research you honestly want to fail me

because I want to leave

early someone did something horrible to

Josh you see

this you all need to come with

me guys are

insane you signed up for 4 days of

research now I need all the people that

volunteered on my thesis this is my life

when Josh gets back which he'll be back

I'm going to rip him a new [ __ ] but

damn it you're not

leaving he

Linda what oh god um look I talked to

Tren and he's cool with giving you

credit for what you've done and let you

go I mean I can drive you back to cart

right Dell and there's a bus station

there and I think you can probably still

get the 11:30 back to the city you don't

have to do

that Linda you're freaked out no one is

going to blame you if you go

I know I

don't look I haven't had that much to

drink so I'm okay to drive

you you think you want to go grab

Cheryl no I

don't I don't know I don't know I don't

know what's going on I don't

know you got to get out of

here I have to go okay yeah okay okay

okay okay let's get your stuff

okay be safe I

will

for

sure

so uh you going to miss Trent when he

goes to

Chicago

yeah

yeah me

too so do you um want me to wait for you

while you get a ticket no that's okay I

got it I'm a big girl despite recent

actions seriously though don't don't be

ashamed or anything okay you got spooked

it's not a big deal

spooked you didn't see Cheryl in the

tent that night did you see that scalp

Randy There is seriously something

horrible going on out

there

girls are pretty freaked out

huh

yeah dude I'm sorry I had to see

[Music]

that [ __ ]

[ __ ] pretty [ __ ]

up I'm

sorry you want you can go to

bed I'm just going to stay up and wait

for

Randy you sure

[Music]

man

thanks

[Music]

we'll see in a few

days hey let me help you with your gear

no it's okay it's fine fine I got

it

hey

um I've been really horrible to you past

couple days or since I've met

you I'm really

sorry thank you so much for standing up

for me tonight I really appreciate

it you're

welcome

all right back looks like it's going to

storm yeah take care Randy be

[Music]

safe

hey

Cheryl what are you

doing I didn't want to be

alone I'm

after

yeah

okay I

understand

you don't think that

was no no no no Josh is

fine he's

fine we'll find him in the

morning

[Music]

you've got to be kidding me oh God

[ __ ] [ __ ] oh my

God can't [ __ ] see

anything

[Music]

what the [ __ ] is that oh my god oh [ __ ]

[ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh my God oh God oh God oh

God oh God oh

God

oh God God oh God what is that what is

that what is

that

just my

God do not let him do

it no way

he not let do it

Andy hey

um it just worried about you um

you should be back by

now looks like there's a storm coming

please

hurry see there's Josh [ __ ] God damn it

I going to kill that

kid

Josh Josh seriously stop messing

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

around

oh

[ __ ]

Josh

[Music]

oh

[Music]

[Music]

he

[Music]

[Music]

yeah

[Music]

[Music]

hold

it yeah okay

[Music]

[Music]

sure this is a bit

unexpected

but

[Music]

good oh

[Music]

yeah oh

yeah

[Music]

[Applause]

a

please

listen as please help

us

[Music]

h

[Music]

TR

Alex pap

Cher

[Music]

[Music]

oh

it's the short

[Music]

stre

[Music]

[Music]

am

I do you understand

[Music]

now the telling Tale let truth be

[Music]

[Music]

told

[Music]

it's

these

wor fre

[Music]

us run

[Music]

n

[Music]

k

[Music]

n

[Music]

[Music]

he

[Music]

oh

e