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1
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,532
Honey, I'm home.
2
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:07,098
Today, I, your
eldest elder, am, uh...
3
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,400
You're 72.
4
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,636
Seventy-two years old.
5
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:14,072
I've lived long and
witnessed many wonders.
6
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:17,276
But now I am old. I am slow.
7
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:20,412
And I get up 16 times
in the middle of the night.
8
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,847
I can no longer
keep up with the herd.
9
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:26,117
I straggle behind,
attracting predators,
10
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,721
endangering my brethren and
making us late for everything.
11
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,923
Don't act like you
haven't noticed.
12
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:36,761
Therefore, I wish to be
hurled from the highest cliff
13
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,630
into a tar pit.
14
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,832
Ooh!
15
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,367
But before I go...
16
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:43,768
Here it comes.
17
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:47,839
I now decree that,
from this day forward,
18
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,374
all dinosaurs,
19
00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:53,145
upon reaching their, uh...
20
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:55,613
Oh, 72nd birthday,
21
00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:59,184
shall be hurled into a tar pit,
22
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:03,255
And this day shall
be known as...
23
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:04,689
Hurling Day.
24
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,793
And so that this tradition
remains holy and solemn,
25
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:13,765
each dinosaur shall be
hurled by a loving relative.
26
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,467
Uh, excuse me.
27
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,035
Yes, in the back.
28
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,105
Uh, so this won't
be a total loss,
29
00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:24,109
could you make it that guys
get to hurl their mother-in-laws?
30
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:26,378
Sure, why not?
31
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,013
Hurling Day! Hurling Day!
32
00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:32,250
One more day till Hurling Day!
33
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:35,019
One more day till I
throw your mother
34
00:02:35,121 --> 00:02:38,824
over the cliff and into the pit.
35
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:42,260
Earl, it's supposed to
be a solemn and holy day.
36
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,529
No. That's tomorrow.
37
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:47,733
Today's a day of
saying, "Yipee, yipee!"
38
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,201
After 20 years of your
mother on my back,
39
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,270
I get to haul her up to
the top of the mountain
40
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:55,139
and fling her bony
butt to oblivion,
41
00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:57,442
solemnly and with
dignity, of course.
42
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,358
Earl, this is Mother's big day.
43
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,925
Now, she's depending on you
44
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,027
to throw her in that
nice section of the tar pit
45
00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:08,086
where there's shade, next to
her old friends, the Rosenfelds.
46
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,188
Oh, yeah, I'll do what I can,
47
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:14,693
as long as she
agrees to sink quickly.
48
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:17,362
Hey, there's my little guy.
49
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,765
Want to give Daddy a kiss?
50
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,434
Not the mama, not the
mama, not the mama,
51
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,970
not the mama, not the mama!
52
00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:28,639
That is starting to bother me.
53
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,376
Hey, guys, Grandma's
in the paper.
54
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:33,759
Let me see.
55
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,625
Give it here, Robbie.
56
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,616
Ah...
57
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,796
"Marriages, births,
dismemberments,
58
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,120
large bites,
hurlings." Here it is!
59
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,723
Here. "Ethyl Phillips,
wife of... blah, blah, blah,
60
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,958
mother of... blah, blah, blah,
61
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,105
grandmother of...
blah, blah, blah..."
62
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,273
Oh! Listen!
63
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,308
"to be hurled into the ooze
64
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:55,500
by her loving
son-in-law, Earl Sinclair."
65
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,647
God, I love being a dinosaur!
66
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:00,205
So, Dad, what do you think
it's like in the tar, anyway?
67
00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:02,607
In the tar? You mean,
actually in the tar?
68
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:03,709
Yeah.
69
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,644
Well... duh...
70
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,586
I'd have to say that it's dark,
71
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,559
it's peaceful, it's quiet.
72
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,016
No one really knows, son.
73
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:13,851
We'll all find out when our
time comes. I gotta get to work.
74
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:16,321
- Oh, thanks, honey.
- Bye, dear.
75
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,157
And tell him to stop asking
such depressing questions.
76
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:22,160
Robbie, your grandmother's
been looking forward to this day
77
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:23,540
for a long time now.
78
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,664
She's going to be reunited
with Grandpa Louie.
79
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:30,134
I thought Grandpa
went on a cruise.
80
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:31,703
You bought that?
81
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,671
Robbie.
82
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:35,206
Charlene, until now,
83
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,920
you've been too
young to understand.
84
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,477
But I think you're emotionally
mature enough now
85
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:40,779
to know the truth.
86
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:41,646
Oh.
87
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,826
When dinosaurs turn 72,
88
00:04:43,850 --> 00:04:45,395
they're thrown into a tar pit.
89
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:46,951
Oh.
90
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,521
Does this outfit
make me look fat?
91
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,967
I want you to
think of the tar pit
92
00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:53,691
as a wonderful place
93
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:57,162
where you'll want
to spend eternity.
94
00:04:57,264 --> 00:05:01,232
Oh, I get it. Just
like the Galleria.
95
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,035
Yeah.
96
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,203
Hah.
97
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,039
Oh.
98
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,381
Hi, baby.
99
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,943
Shh! Look!
100
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,178
Well, I always felt I
was was an herbivore
101
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:17,181
trapped in a carnivore's body.
102
00:05:17,283 --> 00:05:21,353
Cross-eaters, today
at four on Raptile.
103
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:23,232
What's that all about?
104
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,123
Eat.
105
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,294
Hey, pally boy, ready
to give the mother-in-law
106
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,330
the old heave-ho?
107
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:33,798
Roy, please.
108
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:36,100
Fran's mother and I may
have had our differences
109
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,569
for the past 20 years,
110
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,505
but I take no joy in what
I have to do tomorrow.
111
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,074
Huh?
112
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:50,248
Hey, look at this.
Roy, Roy, look.
113
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,961
Take a look at these beauties.
114
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:53,651
Oh, snatch me baldheaded.
115
00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:55,387
Genuine mother-in-law
116
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,555
pterodactyl-skin hurling gloves!
117
00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,392
Yeah, my father gave them
to me on my wedding day.
118
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:03,595
- Look. Non-skid grip.
- Oh.
119
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,998
These old babies have
thrown a lot of old ladies.
120
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,267
- Yep.
- Hey, Earl!
121
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:13,438
Hey, tomorrow's
the big day, huh?
122
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,773
Yeah. How do you feel?
123
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,209
I mean, any thoughts
in these final hours?
124
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,746
I just hope that when my
turn comes to go into the tar,
125
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,648
those who knew me
will lift a glass and say,
126
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:28,085
"Earl Sinclair, no
genius, no big shot,
127
00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:30,755
but did you see the loft he
got on his mother-in-law?"
128
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,060
Hey, Earl, we just
want you to know
129
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,163
tomorrow you're going
out there for all of us.
130
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:40,999
Yeah, and remember,
131
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,501
lift with your knees.
132
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:45,136
Guys.
133
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,449
Times like this,
134
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,907
a guy feels very
close to his buddies.
135
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,543
- We feel close to you.
- Yeah, we do.
136
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,144
Sinclair, in here now!
137
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,985
Aah! Oh!
138
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,121
You sent for me, my captain?
139
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:08,192
Sinclair, I am a great
and powerful dinosaur,
140
00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:11,096
and you... well,
you're a puny nothing.
141
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,131
Thank you, sir.
142
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,366
Because of my position
and social standing,
143
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,069
I can say whatever
I want to you,
144
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,303
and you have to
flatter me in return!
145
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:21,772
That's a keen and
brilliant observation, sir.
146
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:25,443
But tradition gives
us one great equalizer:
147
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,245
Hurling Day.
148
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:30,015
One day, regardless
of our station in life,
149
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,757
when the lowest of the low
150
00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,751
can stand shoulder to shoulder
151
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:36,021
with the highest of the high.
152
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,890
- So, drink, Sinclair?
- Wow!
153
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:42,226
I'm overwhelmed by your
sudden lack of cruelty.
154
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:44,529
Well, uh...
155
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,398
uh, here.
156
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,199
- Nice gloves.
- Mmm.
157
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,468
Thank you, sir. They
were given to me by...
158
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:51,570
I'm speaking.
159
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,338
Yes, sir.
160
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,051
You know, it's been
almost 30 years
161
00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:59,243
since I tossed Mother
Wilkerson into the goo.
162
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:02,780
That look on her face as
she spiraled out of sight...
163
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,716
Ahh.
164
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,920
Ahh. Aah!
165
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:14,526
My, it's sad how
the memories fade.
166
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:17,161
Good thing I got it on VHS.
167
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:20,665
Ooh.
168
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,202
Nice trajectory, sir.
169
00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:26,904
Damn right.
170
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:29,441
The moment goes by
so quickly, my captain.
171
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,911
Well, not on slo-mo. Ha!
172
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:39,150
Whoop, there she goes.
173
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,286
Bye-bye! Bye-bye!
174
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:47,258
Oh, this is... this
is so inspiring.
175
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,428
It better be because
tomorrow's your day, Sinclair,
176
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,370
and no one can
take it away from you,
177
00:08:52,466 --> 00:08:54,099
or I would've!
178
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:57,535
But remember, after tomorrow...
179
00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:59,270
Lowest of the low?
180
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,473
For the rest of your life.
181
00:09:02,575 --> 00:09:05,477
So savor the moment, Sinclair.
182
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,612
It's the only one
you're ever gonna get.
183
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,615
Don't screw it up!
184
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,384
Yes, sir... no, sir.
185
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,953
Uh... door.
186
00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:22,127
Aah!
187
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,229
Yep, she's in the tar.
188
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,297
Nice hang time, pally boy.
189
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,610
I can do better.
190
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,034
I've got to work on
my follow-through.
191
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:33,438
But has anybody ever
climbed back out of the tar pit?
192
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,518
No, son, once
you're in, you're in.
193
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:37,553
Give me another mother-in-law.
194
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,011
Yeah. Ready!
195
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,680
Set, throw!
196
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:47,051
Uh, Dad, when Grandma
goes into the tar pit,
197
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,497
is there life after that?
198
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,155
For me, there is.
199
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,589
You're losing elevation.
200
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:54,358
Robbie, you're breaking
my concentration.
201
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,728
Tell me what I say to
her when she comes over
202
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,930
for this birthday dinner.
Goodbye, good luck,
203
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,912
sorry you're being
tossed off a cliff?
204
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,701
Let me explain this to you.
205
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:06,537
She's lived her life.
She has laid her eggs.
206
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,873
It is time for her to move on.
207
00:10:08,975 --> 00:10:11,220
Now, you want
dinner conversation,
208
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,756
ask her to tell you
how useless she is.
209
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:17,181
Earl, Mother's here.
210
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,117
Not for long.
211
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:23,188
- Yeah.
- Oh!
212
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:28,292
Mother, you look terrific.
213
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:32,063
Thank you, sweetheart. I had
my scales done for the occasion.
214
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,209
Yeah, yeah.
215
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,800
Mom, tomorrow's the big day.
216
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:37,235
Yeah, the biggest.
217
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,971
I'm so excited, I
feel like a schoolgirl.
218
00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:42,406
Charlene, sweetheart,
pour me a Scotch, will you?
219
00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,842
OK. ♪ La la la la la ♪
220
00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:47,024
- There's a good girl.
- Hi, Gram.
221
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,547
There he is, Robbie, my baby.
222
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,283
Come here, let your
grandma give you five kisses.
223
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:57,722
You must be beating
girls off with a stick.
224
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:58,923
Oh, well...
225
00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:00,891
Here's $5.
226
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,460
Aw, thanks, Grandma.
227
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,663
Come on, Mom,
you're gonna spoil him.
228
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,132
Indulge me, Fran.
229
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,799
What am I saving it for?
230
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,502
Grandma, what's
this worth to you?
231
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,973
Oh, wow, $100.
232
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,175
- And five kisses.
- Oh!
233
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:18,843
That's for college.
234
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:20,377
I'm not going to college
235
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,380
unless I have something to wear!
236
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,217
It's the baby.
237
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:29,454
It's the grandma! Uh-oh.
238
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,789
Hello, Mother Phillips.
239
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:33,525
Hello, fat boy.
240
00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:35,570
Hello, you vicious old...
241
00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:37,061
Earl Snead Sinclair!
242
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,874
Oh, God. My whole name.
243
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,865
I'm asking for
peace for one night.
244
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:42,767
- But she...
- One night.
245
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,103
Twelve hours, and she's
out of your life forever.
246
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,139
- But, Frannie...
- Don't respond to her.
247
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,842
I do not want you
to open your mouth.
248
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,376
She provokes me!
249
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:54,578
Close your mouth and
don't let her provoke you.
250
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:56,647
- I am the mighty mega...
- Close it!
251
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,750
Hello, fat boy.
252
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:02,481
You see that?
253
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,656
Oh, Mother. Come
here, sweetheart.
254
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:08,326
Up we go, there.
255
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,530
You and I have had a
lot of tough times, Earl.
256
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:15,867
I just want to say I'm sorry.
257
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:19,337
Jeez, Ethyl, you
mean it, you're sorry?
258
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:22,440
Yeah, I'm sorry you
married my daughter,
259
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,875
and I'm sorry she has to
live in a cold, drafty hole
260
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,617
on the wrong side of the swamp
261
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,080
with someone who was a
tree pusher 20 years ago,
262
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,049
and today is, surprise,
still a tree pusher.
263
00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:34,018
Frannie!
264
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,120
Mother.
265
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,955
I said I'm sorry.
266
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:40,525
Let's go. We're going
over the cliff right now!
267
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,794
Dinner? Would
anyone like dinner?
268
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,463
Only if it's fattening.
269
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:47,832
Eat all you want.
270
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,567
You'll be worth the hernia.
271
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,352
And I want you to have this.
272
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,776
It's a seashell necklace
your grandfather gave me
273
00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:01,045
on our tenth anniversary.
274
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:04,782
Wow! Hey, there's a
bite taken out of it here.
275
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:07,418
It was a wild night. Don't ask.
276
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:10,021
Thanks for the
great stuff, Grandma.
277
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,624
You know, you've lived
such a fascinating life.
278
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,693
Well, I'm bored out of my mind.
279
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,861
I'll see you tomorrow, Ethyl.
280
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,864
It is getting late.
281
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,600
We should go to sleep.
282
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,782
- Good night.
- Good night.
283
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,373
Is there anything I can get you?
284
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,208
Yeah, get a divorce
and marry someone else.
285
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,110
There's still 12 hours left.
286
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,079
Good night, Mother.
287
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:38,183
Mary Ellen Sworkinson's
daughter married a podiatrist
288
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:39,962
four hours before
she got hurled.
289
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:43,387
She went into the
tar a happy dinosaur,
290
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,690
hurled by a professional.
291
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,559
Oh.
292
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,361
Hmm.
293
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,864
What's the matter, sweetheart?
294
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:55,933
Not tired?
295
00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:59,136
Aren't you worried about what's
gonna happen to you tomorrow?
296
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:00,938
I'm looking forward to it.
297
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,539
I miss my Louie.
298
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,742
You don't remember your grandpa.
299
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,411
You were very young
when he was hurled.
300
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,680
Aw, see that?
301
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,949
That's you on your
Grandpa Louie's back,
302
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,851
hitting him on the
head with a pot.
303
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:16,053
Wow. Is this me and you?
304
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:18,623
Yeah. Look, I had all my spikes.
305
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,192
This is when you
visited me at camp.
306
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,261
Your Grandpa Louie
was such a fisherman.
307
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,163
He could stick his
head in the water,
308
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,832
come up with tuna fish,
grouper, you name it.
309
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,668
Oh. A letter I wrote you.
310
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:34,672
It says, "Dear Grandma,
how are you? I am good.
311
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,341
It is good here at
camp. The food is good.
312
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,944
I hope you're good too.
313
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,879
Love, Robbie Sinclair."
314
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:45,149
Yeah, yeah, you always wrote me.
315
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:48,753
Grandma, I don't want
you to go in the tar.
316
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:51,322
I've lived a long
life. I've earned this.
317
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,025
But I don't want you to go.
318
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,694
You're a young,
sweet kid, Robbie,
319
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,063
and you don't really
know anything yet.
320
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,399
I know. I know, you're right.
321
00:15:02,501 --> 00:15:04,381
Hurling's been
around a million years.
322
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:06,537
I've been around 14 years.
323
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,039
So I can hardly believe
I'm gonna do this.
324
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:11,041
- Let's go.
- What are you gonna do?
325
00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:13,411
Come on, we're
getting out of here.
326
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:27,524
Rise and shine,
Ethyl. Rise and shine!
327
00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:30,628
Today's the last day
of the rest of your life.
328
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:36,100
I'm wearing my brand-new
silk Hurling Day tie, Ethyl.
329
00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:37,601
Ethyl?
330
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,170
Ethyl?
331
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,738
Ethyl?
332
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,707
Ethyl!
333
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:44,208
Fran!
334
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:47,011
Robert, stop this. It's
dangerous out this early.
335
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,446
Everything's hungry.
336
00:15:48,547 --> 00:15:50,859
No, I'm not letting them
throw you in the tar pit.
337
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,594
There's just no reason for it.
338
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,885
There is, dear. It's a
time-honored tradition
339
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:58,922
started by a wise old
dinosaur named Bob La Brea.
340
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,640
What's that?
341
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,127
Hide yourself.
342
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:04,340
Uh... uh...
343
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,929
Robbie, don't be a stupid kid!
344
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:07,331
Come on, Grandma.
345
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,433
Forget about me. Hide yourself.
346
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:15,305
Forget about me. Hide yourself.
347
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:27,385
I... I just couldn't
leave you, Grandma.
348
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,119
I couldn't do it.
349
00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:33,491
Now do you see why old
dinosaurs go into the tar?
350
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,463
Take me home, dear.
351
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,501
Please let the old
lady be all right.
352
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:49,273
Please, please, don't
take this away from me!
353
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:51,675
Where have you been?
354
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,644
Don't get in an
uproar, chuckles.
355
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,379
We were just out
for a little walk.
356
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:57,681
I know where you went.
357
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,049
You do?
358
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:01,853
You went to throw yourself
over the cliff without me,
359
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,132
but Robbie found you
and brought you back.
360
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:06,557
Good boy. She may try again.
361
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,125
Keep an eye on her.
362
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:09,467
No problem.
363
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,629
Ethyl.
364
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,431
Now, listen, Ugh,
365
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,233
I'm expecting an important
package this afternoon.
366
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:19,236
So whatever you
do, don't open it.
367
00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:21,972
I won't, Woodrow.
368
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:26,443
Hilarious high jinks
with that talking caveman
369
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,579
on Mr. Ugh.
370
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:31,082
♪ I am Mr. Ugh ♪
371
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:34,251
Today at four.
372
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:36,721
Uh... Mom, could I
talk to you for a second?
373
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:37,933
Yes, dear.
374
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,557
Uh... what would be the big deal
375
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,491
if nobody threw
Grandma into the tar pit?
376
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:43,805
It would kill your father, dear.
377
00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:46,797
It used to be that old
dinosaurs slowed down the pack.
378
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,266
Now we live in houses.
379
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,467
It used to be old
dinosaurs couldn't hunt.
380
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:51,903
Now we have supermarkets.
381
00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:54,238
Isn't throwing Grandma
off a cliff just a waste
382
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,040
of a perfectly good old lady?
383
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,543
I'm just asking.
384
00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:00,722
What?
385
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,280
Since we're domesticated now,
386
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,982
there's nothing forcing
us to hurl Mother, is there?
387
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,264
That's an interesting
notion there, Fran.
388
00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:10,387
Isn't it?
389
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:12,189
I just can't help wondering
390
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:15,025
where you came up
with this interesting notion.
391
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:17,961
Well, I have to admit
it's not actually my idea,
392
00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:20,598
although the moment I heard
it, it made so much sense.
393
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,700
Doesn't it make sense to you?
394
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,902
Oh, yeah, it certainly does.
395
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:27,838
But you know what
I'm curious about?
396
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,909
Where did this idea
come from originally?
397
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:35,446
If you think about it,
it's a barbaric ritual.
398
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,914
It's not barbaric!
399
00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:39,094
It's holy and solemn.
400
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,051
Earl, you're overreacting.
401
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:43,688
Fran, dear, I'm merely
stating my position.
402
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,122
There is no position.
403
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:47,035
Earl, I've made my decision.
404
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,737
You're not throwing Mother.
405
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,572
- I'm throwing her!
- Ow.
406
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:53,730
You want to sleep on the
couch for the rest of your life?
407
00:18:53,832 --> 00:18:56,133
I'm throwing her, Fran. Ethyl!
408
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:58,502
I'm throwing her.
I'm throwing her.
409
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:00,538
I married you so
I could throw her.
410
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,372
So is the hat too much?
411
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,909
Change of schedule.
We're taking off early.
412
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,377
Earl!
413
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,212
Uh... look, it's Godzilla!
414
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,181
Huh, what?
415
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:17,821
You had to eat a big breakfast.
416
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:20,524
Just push the chair, fat boy.
417
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:22,893
Come on. Come on.
418
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,996
Slow down. I want to
fix my face for my Louie.
419
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:27,532
You look gorgeous, Ethyl.
420
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:28,966
Oh, do you think so?
421
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,801
Yeah. Get your
foot off the brake.
422
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,537
Oh, shut up.
423
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,942
Push, push!
424
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,178
OK, Ethyl, I wrote
this speech...
425
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,225
Uh... you can read
it on the way down.
426
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:44,915
Earl, stop!
427
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,383
OK, I'm ready.
428
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,731
No, you're not, Grandma.
You don't have to go.
429
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,032
Dad, a million years ago,
430
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,723
some old dinosaur did
what was right in his time
431
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,603
and created this hurling thing.
432
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:57,662
You can do what's right in
your time and go down in history.
433
00:19:57,764 --> 00:20:01,098
You could be a legend
among dinosaurs!
434
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,900
Or have momentary satisfaction
435
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:05,169
of throwing
grandma off the cliff.
436
00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:10,041
You should think
about this long and hard.
437
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,746
Watch your toes, son.
438
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:16,913
Listen, Dad!
439
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:18,249
No, you listen!
440
00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,683
This is my moment.
441
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:22,019
This is the time when
the lowest of the low
442
00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:24,522
can stand with the
highest of the high.
443
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:27,658
If I lose this, my
life means nothing.
444
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,994
Well, then I guess my
life means nothing, Dad.
445
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,963
What are you saying?
446
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,077
When the time comes,
I'm not throwing you.
447
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,567
Why the hell not?
448
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:39,270
Because you're my father
and just because you get old
449
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:42,706
doesn't mean you're
not my father anymore.
450
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,141
Oh, jeez!
451
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,043
Hello? Hello?
452
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,611
Am I suddenly invisible?
453
00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:49,814
Why doesn't somebody
ask me how I feel?
454
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:53,217
How do you feel, Mother?
455
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:54,985
I'm an old dinosaur.
456
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,822
There's no safe place for
me anymore in this world.
457
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,036
You could live with
us in Dad's den!
458
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,627
That's it! They're
both going over.
459
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:05,429
Times are changing, Earl.
460
00:21:05,531 --> 00:21:07,731
Today? Do they
have to change today?
461
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,511
She's just an old dinosaur.
462
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,180
She's just gonna be in the way.
463
00:21:11,204 --> 00:21:13,471
She's only old because
she's lived a long time.
464
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,918
Maybe there are things
we can learn from her.
465
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,276
Maybe how we treat our
old dinosaurs is wrong.
466
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:22,546
Maybe it's better to keep
them than throw them away.
467
00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:26,250
Grandma, just tell him
you don't want to go.
468
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:28,118
Robbie, darling,
469
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:31,388
I've done everything
there is to do in this life.
470
00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:33,991
At my age, what
do I have to live for?
471
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:37,361
Fran, I'm not letting your
mother move into my house
472
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:40,498
to spend the rest of her
days making my life miserable.
473
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:44,835
Take me home, dear.
474
00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:48,806
Yes! Cool! Excellent!
475
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:50,174
I'm coming, Louie.
476
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:51,408
Earl, stop.
477
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,321
Fran, if you love
me, throw me in.
478
00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:55,445
Earl, it's just for
the rest of her life.
479
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:57,114
How long can that possibly be?
480
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:58,726
How should I know, Fran?
481
00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:02,553
Nobody ever died
of getting old before.
482
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:09,560
You know, I feel
like I could live
483
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,163
to be a million!
484
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:14,632
Jeez!
485
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,840
Hey, it was a mighty toss.
486
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:32,750
I mean, I almost threw
her past the tar pit entirely.
487
00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:36,387
And then-then-then she
came down and down,
488
00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:39,457
and then, uh...
489
00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:40,839
She bounced!
490
00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:42,638
Yeah, she bounced right back up
491
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:44,228
and landed back in her chair.
492
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:45,808
It's a miracle, they tell me.
493
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:49,800
So I gotta let her
move in. That's the truth.
494
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:53,303
Earl, you killed us.
34703
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