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1
00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:34,096
Honey, I'm home.
2
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,226
[Baby] Waah! Waah!
3
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:01,819
I'm crying.
That means I'm up!
4
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:05,832
- [Fran] Earl?
- [Earl snoring]
5
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,560
- What?
- [Fran] Come on, Earl.
6
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,432
You get up for once.
7
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,062
[animal shrieking]
8
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:13,197
[Fran] Earl, feed the baby.
9
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,365
[Earl] Why?
10
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:17,741
[Fran] Because if you
don't feed it it'll die.
11
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:21,975
- [Earl] How many other kids we got?
- [Fran] Two.
12
00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:24,814
[Earl snores]
13
00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:27,013
[Baby] Giddyup, Mommy. Giddyup.
14
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,714
J Da, da-da, da-da, da-da J
15
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:32,087
Giddyup.
Faster. Faster!
16
00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,091
Move along, little mommy.
17
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,324
Move along, move along.
18
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:38,523
J Da-da dee
19
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,829
J Da da da da da dee dee doo
20
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,030
It's the middle of the night.
21
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,266
Why don't you sleep?
22
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,173
No concept of time.
Wide awake. Let's dance!
23
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:53,146
} Da da da da da-da doo
24
00:01:53,213 --> 00:01:56,274
Please, please.
Mommy needs some sleep.
25
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:59,843
I haven't had any sleep
since the night you were hatched.
26
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,787
I love being up
with the mama.
27
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,723
Ah, is that why you wake me up
at 3:00 in the morning,
28
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,056
just to be with me?
29
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,758
Yeah, well, that and
I'm hungry! Feed my mouth!
30
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:14,824
Fill my belly!
31
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:18,133
Ohh, ohh, ohh.
32
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,832
[creatures shrieking]
33
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:22,638
- [Fran] Back. Back!
- [creature] Mine! Mine!
34
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,700
It's 3:00 in the morning.
35
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,872
OK.
36
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,075
- OK.
- Hurry, Mommy. Hurry.
37
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,052
- Give it. Give it, Mommy!
- Here you go, sweetheart.
38
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,884
Right there.
39
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,321
[sucking]
40
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,989
Delish!
41
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,123
Uh-oh.
42
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,726
Uh-oh!
Oh. Stomach growling.
43
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,271
Pressure. I'm gonna blow up!
I'm gonna blow up!
44
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,897
Oh, I'm gonna blow!
45
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,772
Oh, I'm gonna blow! Clear!
46
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,811
[quiet belch]
47
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:01,314
Ahh. Good job.
48
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:02,678
[giggles]
49
00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:07,653
- [loud belch]
- [rattling]
50
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,553
Well!
51
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:13,321
Now you really
must, must go to sleep.
52
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:15,259
Whoa, hey!
53
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,728
We're gonna walk.
54
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,458
We're gonna do the tour.
55
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,125
Wow! I love the tour.
56
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,690
I'm gaga for the tour.
57
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:24,601
Walk, walk, walk.
Hey, wait a minute!
58
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,196
You're trying to put me to...
59
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:28,435
- [snoring]
- I don't believe you.
60
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:29,908
I don't blame you.
61
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:33,379
I'm gonna do this
all night. [laughs]
62
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,216
[animal shrieking]
63
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:40,310
J Bop bop bop ba da dee doop
64
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:43,049
J Bop bop ba da do dow
65
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:47,651
J Oh, yeah
66
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,025
[snoring]
67
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,708
Hey, Mom, did you
make breakfast?
68
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:15,779
You're always saying that breakfast is
the most important meal of the day.
69
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,826
I understand that from
a nutrition point of view.
70
00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:23,125
You always say I'm still growing
and that if I don't have breakfast,
71
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:26,462
I'll just end up looking like
a little stunted anthropod.
72
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,592
I appreciate that
and everything,
73
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,034
I really do.
74
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:33,300
Uh... except today.
I don't have time for breakfast.
75
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:36,502
I've got early practice for
the game against Mesopotamia.
76
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,912
Cereal?
Come on. Cereal?
77
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,678
I want something hot.
78
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,812
I want two waffles with
an animal in the middle.
79
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,118
Can you whip that up? Huh?
80
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:58,531
Don't give me any trouble.
81
00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,693
[creatures grumbling]
82
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,004
[horn honks]
83
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,272
[Charlene]
There's my ride.
84
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,109
Oh! Bruno's in the car!
85
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:16,480
Oh! How do I look?
How do I look, huh?
86
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,713
Charlene?
87
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:21,413
Mom, get some sleep.
88
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,978
Bye.
89
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:27,256
[tires screeching]
90
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:33,195
[sighs]
91
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:39,633
[creature] Gimme. Gimme,
gimme, gimme, gimme!
92
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:42,141
[gobbling]
93
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,337
Waffles!
94
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,344
[birds calling]
95
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:49,576
[caveman language]
96
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,129
Frannie, I know
your days are awful full,
97
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,968
what, with your bonbon lunches
98
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,007
and girl chat at the produce counter,
99
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,634
but maybe you could
put a button on this shirt
100
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,372
I've been asking you
to put on since last night.
101
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:20,971
[gasps]
102
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,447
[groans]
103
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,507
I've been up since
3:30 this morning,
104
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,883
and the baby
wouldn't stop crying.
105
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:29,048
You had a tough night
with junior?
106
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:33,184
Robbie came in and said, "I want."
And Charlene came in and said, "I want."
107
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:36,958
All right, I'll just run over
an antelope on my way to work,
108
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:41,490
have some for breakfast, put the rest
in the lunchbox, I'm covered.
109
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,559
Stop talking!
You're talking too loud.
110
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,571
Wake that baby,
I'll bite your head off.
111
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,233
Well, nobody wants that.
112
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,504
All'l do is cook and clean
113
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:53,842
and clean and cook,
that's all I ever do.
114
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,678
I'm turning into a drudge.
115
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,241
Earl, am I a drudge?
116
00:06:58,318 --> 00:07:02,152
Uh...uh...
117
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,384
I love you?
118
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:08,122
Oh. Cook and clean,
clean and cook.
119
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,822
That's all I ever do.
120
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,558
These are the tools
of my trade.
121
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,532
How's my favorite
married couple?
122
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,329
Fran, put the knife down.
123
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,734
OK, see you at work.
124
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,502
Right behind you.
125
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,565
Oh! Whoa!
126
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,008
I don't get what
the big deal is.
127
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,879
We all have our parts to play.
128
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,146
I'm the breadwinner,
and she's the drudge.
129
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,414
Where's the problem?
130
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:37,253
Well, we are in uncharted
territory now, pally boy.
131
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:40,885
This new thing with
dinosaurs getting married
132
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:43,453
has thrown the conventional
wisdom out the window.
133
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,897
All right. Let's try to
get a handle on this.
134
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,594
I've got a wife's who's
unhappy about something.
135
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:51,730
This is without
historical precedent.
136
00:07:52,406 --> 00:07:54,238
OK. Let's think.
137
00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,834
Yeah. We should be able
to figure this out.
138
00:07:56,910 --> 00:08:00,778
Yeah, we got brains
the size of walnuts.
139
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:15,623
All right.
What about this?
140
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,926
Fran's, like, broken, right?
141
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,557
I got a broken wife.
142
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,034
So, what do you do
if your car is broken?
143
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:25,732
Uh... you kick it
and leave it by the road.
144
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:29,174
Yeah, but what if
you're used to your car,
145
00:08:29,243 --> 00:08:32,144
and you've put on a few pounds
since you met your car,
146
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,840
and you're not sure if you
can attract another car?
147
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:38,577
Are we really talking
about cars, here, pally boy?
148
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,313
I don't know
what the problem is.
149
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,822
She's been upset ever
since the baby was born.
150
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,619
She wasn't upset
before the baby.
151
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:46,284
Before the baby, not upset.
152
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,260
After the baby, upset.
153
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:51,025
Baby, upset.
No baby, no upset.
154
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,125
You lost me completely.
155
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:57,398
It's the baby! It's the baby
and the house and the kids.
156
00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,838
It's too much for her.
She needs some time off.
157
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,602
But if she takes some time off,
158
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:04,474
then who looks after the kids?
159
00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:16,685
I am so hungry.
160
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,056
- You could do it.
- Huh?
161
00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:22,255
You could take
the kids for a weekend.
162
00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:23,854
Why would I
want to do that?
163
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:26,525
Well, because it's
just one weekend.
164
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,090
And when she gets back,
165
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,296
she'll be relaxed
and refreshed
166
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,431
and ready to go again
like a brand-new drudge.
167
00:09:33,507 --> 00:09:35,839
Yeah. I guess I could
look after my kids
168
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,536
for a couple of days,
169
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,807
seeing as how it's
in my own self-interest.
170
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,871
Well, we did it.
171
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:46,749
We had a problem, gave it some thought,
and we solved it.
172
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,551
- And I feel pretty good.
- Me too.
173
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:51,955
What day is this?
174
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:55,154
- I have no idea.
- Oh.
175
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,527
Not the mama!
Not the mama!
176
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,965
Not the mama!
Not the mama!
177
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:03,196
Not the mama!
Not the mama! Not the mama!
178
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:07,605
You do that one more time, and
I'm going to throw you across the room!
179
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,937
- Not the mama!
- Ahh!
180
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,138
Wee! Oof!
181
00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:18,018
Again!
182
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,380
What's for dinner?
183
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:21,853
I don't like your attitude.
184
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,253
[gasps]
185
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,521
It doesn't look done to me.
186
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:30,063
It's done.
It's damn done.
187
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,531
Hey! You give me that back,
or I'll kill you.
188
00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,158
Here you go, ace.
189
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,532
Next time you might
want to turn the oven on.
190
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,230
Uh, just a thought.
191
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,570
So, what do you think really
happened to Mom?
192
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:48,115
Nervous breakdown,
carried off by predators?
193
00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:49,707
Dad said she's at Grandma's.
194
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:52,275
Isn't that what they
always tell the children.
195
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,781
Hey, Dad, when's Mom
coming back from Grandma's?
196
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,985
When she's recuperated from you.
Until then, I'm the mother.
197
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,892
OK, Mom, can I go
to a movie tonight?
198
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,293
Not a chance!
199
00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,862
Dad said I could.
200
00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:11,868
Uh... he really did?
201
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:12,929
Mm-hmm.
202
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,475
Dad, I had a late lunch.
See you later.
203
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,976
Where are you going?
204
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:19,138
Out with the guys
to mark some territory.
205
00:11:19,213 --> 00:11:20,237
Take a sweater.
206
00:11:20,314 --> 00:11:23,511
Wait! If he gets
to go out, I do too.
207
00:11:23,584 --> 00:11:25,416
Ahh!
208
00:11:25,486 --> 00:11:27,887
Oh! Oh!
209
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,582
I slaved over a hot oven
210
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:31,522
making a nice dinner
for you kids,
211
00:11:31,592 --> 00:11:34,527
and now you'll sit at this table
and eat that dinner
212
00:11:34,595 --> 00:11:37,565
and express proper gratitude
to your mother/father!
213
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:39,998
[groaning]
214
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,432
He's stuck there.
215
00:11:41,502 --> 00:11:43,937
And yet we can move freely.
216
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:46,568
- 'Night!
- 'Night!
217
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,439
You don't think I'll
let go of this table
218
00:11:49,510 --> 00:11:50,944
to come after you two?
219
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:54,413
I'm telling you,
you're playing with fire!
220
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:56,506
No. I'm playing with fire.
221
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,812
What?
222
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:58,977
[laughs] Ooh.
223
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,417
Oh!
224
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,549
Oh! Oh! Oh!
225
00:12:03,624 --> 00:12:05,592
[laughing]
226
00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:07,252
- Daddy!
- What?
227
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,386
- Hot.
- Oh!
228
00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:10,692
Where are we going?
229
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:13,358
[Baby laughing]
230
00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:17,362
Again!
231
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:19,565
Not again!
Not ever again!
232
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,005
No more of this for me.
233
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,441
Tomorrow I go back to work,
and I'm only grateful
234
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,444
that I am not the one
who has to do this
235
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:28,379
for the rest of my life.
236
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,651
The mama.
237
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:33,914
Hi, honey.
238
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:35,250
How was your day?
239
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,855
No, no, no, Fran.
Don't explode.
240
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,952
Everything's all right.
241
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,224
Take another day away.
242
00:12:43,297 --> 00:12:46,198
I don't want another day away.
I missed it here.
243
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,927
But you were unhappy here.
244
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,766
- But I was unhappy away.
- Now, Fran, make sense.
245
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:53,603
There's only here and away.
The kids made you unhappy,
246
00:12:53,674 --> 00:12:55,904
I gave you a whole weekend off
from the kids.
247
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,411
- Now you're fixed.
- It's not the kids.
248
00:12:58,479 --> 00:13:00,777
Earl, there's something
wrong in my life,
249
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:02,475
and I don't know what it is.
250
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:05,416
Your life? What life?
Your life is me and the kids.
251
00:13:05,486 --> 00:13:08,421
All right, look.
Here's your life.
252
00:13:08,489 --> 00:13:10,355
This is the kids.
253
00:13:10,424 --> 00:13:11,448
OK?
254
00:13:11,525 --> 00:13:14,790
And this is... this is me.
255
00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:18,389
OK, now, if it's not the kids...
256
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:19,990
...what is it?
257
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,831
[telephone rings]
258
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:25,133
Hello. Roy?
259
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:27,469
It's me.
260
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,474
[sighs] You should
have seen her, Roy,
261
00:13:32,546 --> 00:13:34,378
just standing there
looking at me.
262
00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:36,644
It made me feel so bad,
it was all I could do
263
00:13:36,717 --> 00:13:39,015
to leave the house
and come down to the bar.
264
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,555
- What does she want from you?
- She doesn't know.
265
00:13:41,622 --> 00:13:44,057
As I understand it,
she does not know.
266
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,149
So then why do you
have to do anything?
267
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:47,990
Because I'm the problem.
268
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,758
Look, Earl,
I've known you 27 years.
269
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,959
That's longer
than Fran's known you.
270
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,333
And in all that time, I never
thought of you as a problem once.
271
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:57,962
Yeah, but you're my pal.
272
00:13:58,038 --> 00:14:01,008
Well, what about the rest of you guys?
You know Earl.
273
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,566
Has anybody here got
a problem with him?
274
00:14:03,644 --> 00:14:07,877
- He's a good guy.
- We love you, big guy.
275
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:13,344
Look, you're a room full of guys,
and the problem's with the wife.
276
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:16,822
And the wife is female,
so maybe what you've got
277
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:19,018
is a male/female problem.
278
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:22,494
What kind of male/female problem?
We're married a long time,
279
00:14:22,563 --> 00:14:24,258
and we just had a new kid.
280
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,732
Anyway, just this morning
I said, "I love you."
281
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:30,327
- Did you say it sincerely?
- Nah. It was a defense mechanism.
282
00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:33,430
When was the last time
you did the mating dance?
283
00:14:33,507 --> 00:14:36,442
- What are you talking about?
- The mating dance.
284
00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:39,070
The ultimate expression
285
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:42,980
of a male's absolute commitment
to a female.
286
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,144
[screams]
287
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:48,211
I myself do it three,
four times a week.
288
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:52,384
The mating dance is a courtship ritual.
You do it to woo and win.
289
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,621
I wooed.
I'won. I'm done.
290
00:14:54,695 --> 00:14:56,686
Maybe it's time to re-woo.
291
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:59,198
I don't have to. I got her.
She's in the house.
292
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,792
Maybe the mating dance
isn't just to get her.
293
00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:04,566
Maybe it's to keep her.
294
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:08,199
Forget it. You don't do the mating dance
for a 38-year-old mother.
295
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,710
- Why not?
- Because.
296
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,108
Because what?
297
00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:15,342
Because... uh...
298
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,884
I forget how.
299
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,951
[male on TV]
And finally, in local news,
300
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,254
officials at the city zoo
report no luck
301
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,727
in trying to mate
Ling-Ling and Chang-Chang,
302
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,127
the two rare
imported humans.
303
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,723
Zookeepers are baffled
304
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,098
at why two seemingly
healthy cavepeople
305
00:15:35,169 --> 00:15:37,228
have not yet
produced offspring.
306
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:41,434
At this point, it's feared
that Ling-Ling is barren.
307
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:42,998
And now for the weather.
308
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,441
I'm going to bed.
309
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,343
Oh, OK.
310
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,044
I'm not cleaning anything up.
I'm just going to bed.
311
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,609
- OK.
- Don't expect anything from me.
312
00:15:52,686 --> 00:15:53,778
I wouldn't.
313
00:15:53,854 --> 00:15:56,551
And if you lose a button,
whose problem is that?
314
00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,318
Mine, all mine.
315
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,325
Good night, dear.
316
00:16:01,395 --> 00:16:04,057
[Fran] Don't patronize me.
317
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:07,101
[male 2 on TV] Hey, guys,
wanna make more of an impression
318
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,601
with the ladies?
319
00:16:08,669 --> 00:16:10,103
From time immemorial,
320
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,400
dinosaurs have known
there's only one way
321
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,031
to a woman's heart.
322
00:16:14,108 --> 00:16:17,237
It's not flowers.
It's not candy.
323
00:16:17,311 --> 00:16:20,212
Yes, it's the mating dance.
324
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,306
Whether you're a beginner
wanting to learn first steps
325
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,748
for after the prom
326
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,616
or an old married guy
327
00:16:26,687 --> 00:16:29,657
with a wife who's overwhelmed
by one kid too many,
328
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:32,693
Mel Luster's
Mating Dance Academy
329
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,284
has the steps for you.
330
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:35,658
We're open all night
331
00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:37,322
because, let's face it,
332
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:38,990
when else you gonna come here?
333
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:42,730
Mel Luster,
since 72 million B.C.,
334
00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:44,396
always the same location,
335
00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:47,099
in the heart of
the seedy part of town.
336
00:16:53,781 --> 00:16:56,443
Hey, you in the door,
how can I help you?
337
00:16:56,517 --> 00:16:57,780
Oh, uh, me?
338
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:01,446
Well, I'm here for
the $29.95 refresher course.
339
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,650
Well, come on.
Let's get started.
340
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:06,056
Let's try, uh, a bob dip.
341
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:08,117
Can you bob dip for me?
342
00:17:08,195 --> 00:17:10,664
Well, I, uh... uh...
343
00:17:10,731 --> 00:17:13,200
OK. Not at all.
344
00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:14,996
Well, we're open all night.
345
00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:19,371
- [Mel] Bend, will you bend?
- [Earl] Come on, I've got such a cramp.
346
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,964
I'm not as young
as I used to be.
347
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,601
- [Mel] How old are you?
- [Earl] Uh... 28.
348
00:17:23,677 --> 00:17:25,167
Yeah. Right.
349
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,804
Left, right. And left.
350
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,644
[both] Weave.
351
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,513
Turn, kick.
352
00:17:30,584 --> 00:17:32,814
Bob, bob, dip.
353
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,149
Weave.
354
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,950
Weave, turn...
355
00:17:36,023 --> 00:17:37,491
kick.
356
00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:38,684
Neck.
357
00:17:38,759 --> 00:17:39,749
Neck.
358
00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:41,556
Chin, chin, chin.
359
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,255
- Yeah!
- [Earl laughing]
360
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:48,825
Let's see how Marilyn,
our blushing bachelorette, liked it.
361
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:52,361
Oh! I could spend the rest
of my life with you.
362
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,033
Thanks. I'm married.
363
00:17:55,109 --> 00:17:58,602
- $29.95. Pay Mel.
- Yeah, OK.
364
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:04,479
Mel, it's a beautiful thing you do.
365
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:06,610
Oh, it's very fulfilling.
366
00:18:06,687 --> 00:18:07,950
Next!
367
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:11,389
Caveman from the zoo.
368
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,984
Chang-Chang, come on in.
369
00:18:14,061 --> 00:18:15,995
We've been expecting you.
370
00:18:16,063 --> 00:18:18,691
[grunting]
371
00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:35,713
Frannie.
372
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:39,443
Frannie?
373
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:40,885
Yoo-hoo.
374
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:41,978
Frannie?
375
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:44,251
Mmm.
376
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,883
Earl?
Where have you been?
377
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,553
I've been out taking
care of your problem.
378
00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:52,156
You'll be happy to know that you
don't have a problem anymore.
379
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,667
I'm so happy.
Good night.
380
00:18:54,735 --> 00:18:56,294
No, no, no! Look!
381
00:18:56,370 --> 00:18:58,771
You're gonna want to see this.
It's important.
382
00:18:58,839 --> 00:19:01,774
I learned it all over again,
just for you.
383
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:11,312
Ahh! Mm-mm.
384
00:19:14,188 --> 00:19:16,987
Ahh. Ahh.
385
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,717
Ooh.
386
00:19:19,793 --> 00:19:21,283
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
387
00:19:22,196 --> 00:19:23,220
Mmm.
388
00:19:23,297 --> 00:19:27,825
Doo, doo, doo.
389
00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:29,801
Da!
390
00:19:32,573 --> 00:19:33,938
Fran?
391
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,908
[crickets chirping]
392
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:43,106
Your problem is just that
you're tired all the time.
393
00:19:48,122 --> 00:19:49,920
[Baby] I'm up again!
394
00:19:49,990 --> 00:19:51,754
Oh, I'll get it.
395
00:19:51,825 --> 00:19:53,725
No, no, sweetheart.
You sleep.
396
00:19:53,794 --> 00:19:55,853
You need your sleep.
397
00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:02,132
What?
398
00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:05,536
[Baby] Not the mama!
Not the mama!
399
00:20:05,606 --> 00:20:06,971
Not the mama!
Not the mama!
400
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,702
I really wish
you'd grow out of this.
401
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:13,508
Hey, weekend guy, you think you got
what it takes to put me to sleep?
402
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:17,813
Please. I've outlasted actual mamas.
403
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:20,513
Hey, what are you doing?
404
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:21,645
[humming]
405
00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:24,054
Hey, this is nice.
I like it.
406
00:20:24,124 --> 00:20:27,025
Hey, you like that,
then you'll really like this.
407
00:20:27,094 --> 00:20:29,495
- What? Whoa!
- [both laughing]
408
00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:31,531
Ooh, this is fun.
409
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:34,033
What are you doing, Daddy?
410
00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:36,627
What are you doing?
411
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:39,138
Whoa. Daddy's dancing.
412
00:20:39,206 --> 00:20:40,935
J La la, hmm hmm hmm
413
00:20:41,008 --> 00:20:42,669
♪ La la la la
414
00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:47,078
J La la, hmm hmm hmm
415
00:20:47,147 --> 00:20:48,911
[Earl] ; Daddy, Daddy
416
00:20:48,982 --> 00:20:50,347
J Dancing, dancing
417
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:54,047
J Dancing for the baby
418
00:20:54,121 --> 00:20:56,647
J Goo ga ga, goo goo
419
00:21:15,809 --> 00:21:17,743
Look, look. He fell asleep.
420
00:21:17,811 --> 00:21:19,006
1 did it.
421
00:21:19,079 --> 00:21:21,639
You put the baby to sleep
with the mating dance.
422
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:25,345
No, no, no.
That was just a baby dance.
423
00:21:25,419 --> 00:21:28,184
I loved it.
424
00:21:28,255 --> 00:21:31,190
But why didn't you like
the one I did for you upstairs?
425
00:21:31,258 --> 00:21:34,125
I liked that one
20 years ago.
426
00:21:34,194 --> 00:21:35,889
Now I like this dance,
427
00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:38,523
where you got out of bed
in the middle of the night
428
00:21:38,599 --> 00:21:40,067
and helped me.
429
00:21:40,134 --> 00:21:43,126
That's the best
mating dance I've ever seen.
430
00:21:45,873 --> 00:21:47,102
Come on.
431
00:21:48,242 --> 00:21:49,505
What are we doing?
432
00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:51,772
What would you like to do?
433
00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:53,745
If it's all the same to you, Fran,
434
00:21:53,814 --> 00:21:55,782
I'd like to catch about 40 winks.
435
00:21:55,849 --> 00:21:59,046
You got it, big boy.
29993
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