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1
00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:07,616
♪♪
2
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:08,704
I thought we were
all wearing our
3
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,619
old catering
uniforms together.
4
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:11,924
Nobody said that, dude.
5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,665
You're supposed to
return it when you quit.
6
00:00:13,752 --> 00:00:16,146
Yeah, Ilana, we're not caterers
at Darcy's wedding,
7
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,756
we're guests.I know, Morgan, thanks.
8
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:20,107
Abbi, can you believe that
Darcy's the first of the
9
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:21,499
trifecta to
get married?
10
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,545
I can-- she's been engaged
for like seven years.
11
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,373
Oh, my God, Ilana, you have to
take so many
12
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,462
pictures of us tonight.Yeah, it will be fun.
13
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:30,856
I mean, sorry, not of us, of the
trifecta, me, Abbi, and Darcy.
14
00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:31,988
[Kevin]
I worked with you guys, too.
15
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:34,817
I thought we were the quad.
16
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:35,905
Honestly, Morgan's
boner for you is so big
17
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:37,167
you can see it from space.
18
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:38,386
You should just let
her suck it already.
19
00:00:38,473 --> 00:00:39,648
So, now I have the boner?
20
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:41,128
I thought that
Morgan had the boner.
21
00:00:41,215 --> 00:00:43,782
Oh, my God, Connecticut
is so classy.
22
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:44,783
God, no, it isn't.
23
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,568
Why are we
even going there?
24
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:49,484
Don't be insane, Ilana, I mean
Darcy is marrying the heir
25
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,094
to Jennifer
friggin' Convertibles.
26
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,574
It's gonna
be so amazing.
27
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,141
I brought all
the essentials, gum,
28
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:55,446
Adderall, and
poppers.
29
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,013
We gotta bring our
A-game, bitches.
30
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,754
There better be
good boys there.
31
00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:01,887
I'm the first woman in my family
to be 25 and still single?
32
00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:04,890
This year I opened
myself up to minorities,
33
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,283
and still nothing.
34
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,719
[Ilana]
Move our asses, bitches!
35
00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:09,634
Got some good momentum.
Come on!
36
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:10,896
It's so crazy that you're coming
37
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:13,029
with me to this wedding, right?No.
38
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,291
It's only
our second date.
39
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:15,727
It's not crazy at all.
40
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:18,252
Plus I get to see you in
this dress, maybe out of it.
41
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,079
Will!
42
00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:22,386
[Ilana]
Okay, chill.
43
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:23,387
We've got time.
44
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:24,432
I'm pumped.
45
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:25,433
I love weddings.
46
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:26,782
I crush at weddings.
47
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:28,740
Wait till you see me on
the dance floor.
48
00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:31,439
Um, Ilana, what are we even
doing in Grand Central?
49
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:32,918
Is there a garage
in here or something?
50
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:33,702
Where's your
mom's car parked?
51
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,007
Uh, Long Island.
52
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,749
Uh, Ilana,
what the frick!
53
00:01:37,836 --> 00:01:40,187
You said that we could get
your mom's car for this trip.
54
00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:41,753
I emailed you every day
for like two months.
55
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,581
I didn't get
any emails.
56
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:46,976
Well, is your email address
still Ilanawaxler@vagina.com?
57
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,457
No, it's
mindmyvagina.com.
58
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:50,632
That's why.
59
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:51,894
Don't worry,
dude, chill.
60
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:52,895
I got us tickets.
61
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,723
Oh, my God,
we gotta go.
62
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,072
Come on, we got
a couple minutes!
63
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:58,857
♪♪
64
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,734
♪♪
65
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:13,872
Uh, Ilana, why is there no 2:10
train to Bridgeport anywhere?
66
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,352
I don't know--
I'm not a conductor.
67
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,443
Ilana, these are
Amtrak tickets, dude.
68
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,576
It only runs outta
Penn Station.
69
00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:22,707
Oh, gross.
70
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,883
Alright, let's go,
come on.
71
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,276
Guys, I can't run.
72
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,364
I'm gonna sweat
off my concealer.
73
00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:31,673
Holy shit!
74
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,719
This place really
is majestic.
75
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:40,029
♪♪
76
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:42,379
[Morgan]
Taxi! Taxi!
77
00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:46,253
It's been a whirlwind,
right?
78
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:47,254
I know.
79
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,473
Both been having fun.
Yeah.
80
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,910
Talked about
getting that dog.
Uh-huh.
81
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:56,828
But, um, Penn
Station, I can't.
82
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,743
It's disgusting.
83
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,311
It's kind of a deal
breaker for me.
84
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:04,096
Okay, I'm confused.Well, you know, maybe
85
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,707
this is one of those really
romantic New York City stories
86
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,665
where you meet someone amazing,
87
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,755
and then... tragedy happens.
88
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:13,584
And they're gone, and
you never see them again,
89
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,760
and you wonder what they did
with their whole life.
90
00:03:20,591 --> 00:03:21,549
Good luck, kid.
91
00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:22,898
[Morgan]
Taxi's here, come on!
92
00:03:22,985 --> 00:03:23,812
Okay, everybody in.
93
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,553
Abbi, sit by me.
94
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,381
[Abbi]
I don't even know
what just happened.
95
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:30,732
[Morgan]
Okay you sit in the middle, but
I don't wanna sit next to Ilana.
96
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:32,777
[Ilana]
Sure, sit on
Morgan's boner.
97
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,606
[Abbi]
Guys, I just got dumped.
98
00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:38,827
Abbi, wait! Wait!
99
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:41,264
Wait!
100
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,745
Oh, it's just
not meant to be.
101
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:48,010
♪♪
102
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:55,670
Oh, my God, you guys remember
Brian O., the head bartender?
103
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:59,108
He stopped eating
carbs and got totally ripped.
104
00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:00,414
My brother did that.
105
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,329
He doesn't eat carbs,
he's jacked.
106
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:07,899
Anyway, he became
a DJ in Provincetown.
107
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:10,554
Then he OD'd, dead!
108
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,904
Wow, geez.
109
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:14,863
Only the good
die young, huh?
110
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:18,214
You know, I'm not
over Amy Winehouse.
111
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,999
It's like we knew
it would happen,
112
00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:23,567
but we didn't do
anything about it.
113
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:27,441
I didn't "know her" know
her, but I still miss her.
114
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:32,315
You guys remember Steff?
Yes, the one who used
115
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:33,838
to eat out of the trash--
Ew, right, okay.
116
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:36,972
So, she worked that retirement
party, married some old dude
117
00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:41,237
and then OD'd a week later
at Bryant Park on the carousel.
118
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:44,675
Dead!
You remember Ray-- shit!
119
00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:46,198
[Ilana]
Are you okay?
120
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,505
Oh, my gosh, are you all right?Everybody okay?
121
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,594
Kevin, your nose
is bleeding, man.
122
00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:54,163
Oh, no, this
isn't from the crash.
123
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,817
It happens all the time.
124
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:57,384
But I need to get outta
here before the cops come.
125
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:58,733
Everybody out!
126
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:02,084
♪♪
127
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,150
Can you take this?Yeah.
128
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:26,543
Whoo!
I am hot, too.
129
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,066
I have blotting
sheets if anybody needs.
130
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,677
I could use one.
131
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,069
[Kevin]
You might need two,
sweetheart.
132
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,419
Oh, my God!
It left us.
133
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:35,117
It left without us!What?
134
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,728
No!
135
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:38,816
No, no.
136
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:42,559
Oh, my God!
137
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:44,126
All right, okay!
138
00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:45,823
We gotta go
right now!
139
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:47,216
Come on, let's
move it, move it!
140
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:50,262
Move, move, move!
Come on!
141
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,265
No, no, no, no!
Eighth Avenue!
142
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,659
Ilana, come on,
move it! Move it!
143
00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,008
Come on!
144
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:58,445
Abbi, I'm behind you!
145
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,413
So, it's $70
a day to rent a car.
146
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,545
Totally doable.
147
00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:12,633
Do you wanna
insure the driver?
148
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,112
Yes.Yes.
149
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:15,549
Do you want to insure
against other cars?
150
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:16,637
Yes.Yes.
151
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:19,466
Potholes? Weather?
Trees?
152
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:20,815
Uh-huh.Uh-huh.
God?
153
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,773
Yeah.Yeah.
154
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:26,168
Transition insurance for when I
pull the car around-- make sure
155
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,996
you get that last one.
I'm a terrible driver.
156
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,606
Okay.Sure.
157
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:33,480
With all that,
it comes to $125.
158
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:34,655
Okay.
159
00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,221
License and credit
card, please.
160
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,575
Oh.
161
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,228
You're under 25.
162
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:46,275
That changes
things.
163
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:49,452
[keys clacking]
164
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:55,676
[clacking resumes]
165
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,242
That'll be $1,100.
166
00:06:57,329 --> 00:07:00,507
Oh... we're gonna need
one moment, please.
167
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,596
Thank you so much.
168
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,902
All right,
come 'ere, huddle up.
169
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:08,689
Okay, so, we both know that I'm
25, but what Mary doesn't yet
170
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:11,039
know is that my
license is expired.
171
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,737
We're gonna need to come up with
a plan in the next 20 seconds
172
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:16,523
inside this huddle, 'cause
when I created the huddle,
173
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,699
I thought by this time
I'd have a plan, I don't.
174
00:07:18,786 --> 00:07:22,311
Hey, here's my license and the
AMEX should cover insurance.
175
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:26,097
This isn't a
sugar daddy thing.
176
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:29,318
This is just an old, established
"guy paying for his younger
177
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,929
friend he has sex
with" kind of thing,
178
00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:33,714
so just get that right out
of your mind, you know?
179
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:34,802
[woman]
Well, you're all set.
180
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,325
There's only
one vehicle left.
181
00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:39,937
It doesn't have AC,
but it's really spacious.
182
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,417
We'll take it.
183
00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:52,950
[brakes squeal]
184
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:03,047
Oh... okay.
185
00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:05,267
Gotta love that
transition insurance.
186
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:09,401
♪♪
187
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,360
[Lincoln]
Man, it's hot in here.
188
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:14,711
Gotta commend you, I got adult
braces two years ago, and it was
189
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:17,279
the best decision
I ever made, check me out.
190
00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,107
Oh, those are nice.Yeah, yeah.
191
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,630
But these aren't braces.
192
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,763
They're mouth scaffolding,
just to hold my teeth in.
193
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:23,764
Mouth scaffolding?
194
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:25,069
I've never heard
of that.
195
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,071
I'm a dentist, and
I haven't heard of that.
196
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,290
I went to Nicaragua
for 'em.
197
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:30,422
They were so reasonable.
198
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,644
[Ilana]
Morgan, you're dancing
against the truck right now.
199
00:08:34,731 --> 00:08:36,559
You gotta dance
with it, girl.
200
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:40,084
God, this
is terrible.
201
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:41,172
I don't know.
202
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:43,174
It kinda feels good
on my back.
203
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,175
Yeah, I mean
it's actually kinda fun.
204
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:45,960
Good save, Morgan.
205
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,136
Abbi, do you remember that
holiday party that we thought
206
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,312
that we ran out of cheese balls,
and then it turned out we had
207
00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:52,706
more cheese balls
in the back?
208
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:55,447
Yeah, the cheese balls.
209
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,840
Yeah.
210
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:04,848
I'm not gettin' married until
everyone can get married.
211
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,940
Why did you look at me
when you said "everyone"?
212
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,814
What do you mean?
213
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:14,989
What do you mean?
214
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,080
You gay, man.
215
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:20,951
Oh, yeah, I am.
I'm totally gay.
216
00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:22,649
I get it now.
I get what you mean.
217
00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,825
♪♪
218
00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:30,221
Abbi, do you remember
that time the chicken satays
219
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:33,181
were way underdone?
Do you remember?
220
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,183
I still laugh
about it.
221
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,446
[laughing hysterically]
222
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:39,491
[Ilana]
This bitch is unraveling.
223
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,319
[Abbi]
I am well aware.
224
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:45,280
[laughing]
225
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,634
What are we laughing about?I don't know.
226
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:56,334
♪♪
227
00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:58,423
God, I can't believe Will
didn't go to Penn Station.
228
00:09:58,510 --> 00:10:00,034
What a little bitch.
229
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:01,905
It's the most vibrant
place in the city,
230
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,646
and they have
really good sushi.
231
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,910
You know what,
I'm fine that he left.
232
00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:10,087
He had a really
big penis.
233
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:11,436
How big, how big,
how big?
234
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:12,481
Like, think
earth, like think earth.
235
00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:16,703
Coke can,
plantain big.
236
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:18,618
Oh, God!
237
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:21,316
♪♪
238
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,579
What are those?
Poppers.
239
00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:24,885
What do they do?
240
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,538
They loosen
your butthole.
241
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,584
Why you takin'
it right now?
242
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:31,456
'Cause we're going
to a wedding. Hello?!
243
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:33,023
Abbi, this keeps
happening to you.
244
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,286
You're like a magnet
for elephant dongs.
245
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:37,637
God, you know who has
a really big dick?
246
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:38,899
My brother, Mitchell.
247
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,294
Hold on, Morgan,
did you say something
248
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,905
about your
brother's dick?
249
00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:46,776
I didn't mean to say that.
Just forget it.
250
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:48,256
Delete, delete, delete,
delete, delete, delete.
251
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:53,174
[crash/screaming]
252
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,527
[horns honking]
253
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:00,877
Everybody okay?
254
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:03,140
Why would Jesus give
us a flat tire?
255
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:04,141
Well, he did, Morgan.
256
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,665
God, it is over!
257
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,449
Guys, the Sei Wah bus
runs every half hour.
258
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:09,059
Ew, disgusting, Ilana.
You're disgusting.
259
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,626
I think that's our only
option right now, so...
260
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,846
Yeah, okay, Abbi, you're totally
right, I agree with you.
261
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,151
You know,
we could ride down.
262
00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:17,198
Ilana, we are in formalwear.
We cannot bike down!
263
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:18,373
It's 4:00 o'clock.
264
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,330
We're not getting
a cab right now.
265
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:20,767
This is our best bet.
266
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,377
Totally.
Okay, so to recap.
267
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:24,118
Abbi and I have decided
that we're going to bike
268
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,337
down to the Sei Wah
bus, okay? Whoo-hoo!
269
00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:27,687
Great, all right,
come on on, let's go.
270
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,036
Come on, come
on, come on!
271
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,515
Let's go!Abbi,
I'm coming!
272
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:33,693
Lincoln, come on.I can't.
273
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:34,694
Someone has to stay
with the truck and call
274
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:36,347
the rental
car company.
275
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,219
I can't leave
you here by yourself.
276
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:41,526
You can't not go to
a wedding you RSVPed to.
277
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:45,487
You have to respect
the sanctity of the RSVP.
278
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:49,491
I was uncomfortable at the fact
that you were my date
279
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:51,362
to a wedding, that's
like so legit.
280
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:53,190
But now that you're
not coming, I'm bummed.
281
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,890
And that makes me uncomfortable
in a different way.
282
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:59,327
Are you just sayin' that so
I'll do the rest of the dance?
283
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,372
The what?
284
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:03,723
[laughing]
285
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,900
♪♪
286
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,040
[flatulence]
287
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:18,433
What's painfully
ironic about
288
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:22,611
this is that I love
weddings the most.
289
00:12:22,698 --> 00:12:23,830
♪♪
290
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,179
[Abbi]
Pump it, pump it!
291
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:26,310
You guys, if we don't
pick up the pace,
292
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,617
we're gonna
miss this 4:30.
293
00:12:28,704 --> 00:12:29,966
Harder, harder!
294
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,534
You are warriors
of change right now.
295
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:35,363
What are your passions?
Who lights your fire?
296
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:36,538
Gossip!
297
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:37,974
Rihanna's Instagram.
298
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,367
My brother!
299
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:40,368
Never mind!
300
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:41,717
Delete, delete that!
301
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,327
Hey, Kevin, what's up
with your bike, dude?
302
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:45,112
We're all on
Citi Bikes.
303
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,461
What?
304
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:47,984
I thought we
were all stealing bikes.
305
00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:50,682
I-I-I can't go back to
prison, Ilana!
306
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,683
I can't go--
307
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:55,252
Whoo!
High on life!
308
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:58,603
Look at me now,
Solstice! Whoo!
309
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,040
Yeah!
310
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:01,781
Look at me
now, New York City!
311
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,305
Whoo!
312
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,090
♪♪
313
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:14,445
Okay, so, if we make this bus,
then we'll just miss the
314
00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:16,621
cocktail hour, but we'll
make it time for apps before
315
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:18,580
the ceremony.
This is the opposite
316
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:21,148
of the time the trifecta took
the Jitney to the Hamptons.
317
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,410
I never heard about that.
318
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:23,977
It-- it wasn't
a big deal.
319
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,543
We just went to the
Hamptons for the weekend.
320
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,154
Darcy's parents
have a timeshare.
321
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:29,112
That was a really crazy
weekend, huh, Abbi?
322
00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:30,810
I don't know if it's
really worth talking about.
323
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:33,900
Okay, I think it's very
much worth talking about.
324
00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:36,467
Remember we went
to that club, The Elm?
325
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:37,947
The Elm, that
sounds cool.
326
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,514
It wasn't.
327
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:43,083
Oh, my God,
she doesn't know?
328
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,388
[Ilana]
Know what?
329
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:45,868
Oh, this is gonna
be so rich.
330
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:48,436
Okay, when we
went to the Hamptons,
331
00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:52,135
Darcy and
Abbi made out.
332
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:56,574
[explosion]
333
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,925
It was before
I knew you.
334
00:14:10,806 --> 00:14:12,460
Ilana, it's not
a big deal.
335
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,331
It's a huge deal.
336
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:15,855
You said that if you were
ever gonna do same-sex
337
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:18,596
experimentation,
it was gonna be with me.
338
00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,772
I have never said
that to you.
339
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,383
It has
been implied.
340
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,950
By you.
341
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:29,738
Well, implications
get responses,
342
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:31,609
and it takes
two to tango.
343
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:36,876
[Abbi]
Oh.... okay.
344
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,442
[bus riders coughing]
345
00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:41,054
Oh, my God.
346
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:43,926
Where are we even?
347
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,233
♪ Confess to
the nervousness ♪
348
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,279
♪ As we stumble to the close
of a troubled chapter ♪
349
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,586
♪ These months have been
fun but we're done ♪
350
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,850
♪ Now the truth burns through
it's a total disaster ♪
351
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:58,375
♪ But if you could see
what your eyes reflect ♪
352
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,551
♪ From your soul
it's revealing ♪
353
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:04,381
♪ If you could look past
what divides as petty ♪
354
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:06,253
♪ Wondering if you can ♪
355
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,516
♪ What's with loneliness? ♪
356
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:12,737
♪ Born to widows
won't you let me be?
357
00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:14,217
Ilana,
there's seats.
358
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:15,349
You know, I'm gonna
sit with somebody
359
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,090
whose yet to shatter my world.
360
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:21,355
Hello,
new friend.
361
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:22,878
Yeah.
362
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,533
You okay?
363
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:29,711
Yeah, I'm just-- I'm listening
to this relaxation mix.
364
00:15:29,798 --> 00:15:32,844
Do you wanna?
All right, sure.
365
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,064
[voice on iPod]
...too shall pass.
366
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:37,023
You are beautiful, you are
367
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:40,678
strong, you are supple, Morgan.
368
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,332
What is this?
369
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,204
Ah, my brother
made if for me.
370
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,641
He's a yoga teacher.
Isn't it helpful?
371
00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:49,513
He's good, right?
372
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,473
Ilana, will you just come
on and sit back here?
373
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,911
No, I will not just "come
on," and you know why.
374
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:57,782
'Cause you made
out with Darcy.
375
00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:59,045
You told him?
376
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:02,222
Fine.
377
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,788
You know what
else Darcy and I did?
378
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:06,791
We touched boobs.
379
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,970
[screaming]
380
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:14,495
We touched boobs!
We touched boobs!
381
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:15,713
We touched
boobs!
382
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,672
We touched boobs!
383
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:19,804
We
touched boobs!
384
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,463
[whimpering]
385
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:27,769
Oh, my God.
386
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,727
Oh, my God,
what is this?
387
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:31,251
It's a fish!
Oh, my God!
388
00:16:31,338 --> 00:16:32,730
Get out!
389
00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:33,644
Move, move, move!
390
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:34,994
I'm getting out!
391
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,125
I'm getting off
of this bus!
392
00:16:36,212 --> 00:16:40,608
♪♪
393
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,305
I hate you all!
394
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:44,046
It's going
down my underwear.
395
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,526
[coughs]
396
00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:51,053
Oh, God!
397
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,968
Ilana, F-you!
398
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,057
You did this to
bring down the trifecta.
399
00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:57,103
Morgan, what are
you talking about?
400
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,321
We don't even hang
out anymore.
401
00:16:58,408 --> 00:16:59,670
There's no trifecta.
402
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:03,065
It's more of like
a duo now, so...
403
00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,327
Oh, my God,
keep talking.
404
00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:05,937
I'm legit gonna cry.
Okay.
405
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,243
Oh my God.Well, fine!
406
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,985
Have fun doing all
your drugs together,
407
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:12,466
you druggie lesbian dudes!
408
00:17:12,553 --> 00:17:13,510
Go fuck
your brother, dude.
409
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:16,122
[laughing]
410
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,170
You smell.
411
00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:23,651
All right, well, give me
Lincoln's clothes, I'll change.
412
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:26,045
Okay, I'll block you,
and I'm gonna peek.
413
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,916
No, dude,
you're not peeking.
Come on.
414
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:31,180
Fine, today
you can peek.
415
00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:32,660
This one time.
416
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:38,057
[woman]
Well, you didn't
get flat tire insurance.
417
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,275
What do you mean I didn't
get flat tire insurance?
418
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,756
I bought every
insurance you offered.
419
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:45,194
Before I rented you the car, I
went through an itemized list.
420
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,588
If you wanted flat tires
covered, you should have asked
421
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,503
for flat tires.
422
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,200
I'm not a mind reader.
423
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:55,074
Listen, Mary, I've
had an awful day.
424
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:56,684
I was on my way to a wedding.
425
00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,120
I wasn't able to make
the wedding.
426
00:17:58,207 --> 00:17:59,861
Imagine how
disappointed I am.
427
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,950
I shine at weddings.
428
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:03,038
You can't look the other
way on this?
429
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,171
Look the other way?
Yeah.
430
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,390
You think 'cause you come in
here in your little short-shorts
431
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:10,001
looking all Idris
Elba that I'm supposed
432
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,613
to like give everything up?
433
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:14,310
Like Idris Elba?
434
00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:17,008
Oh, don't act like
you don't know.
435
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,315
You look like him.
436
00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:22,710
All right, well,
Mary, where do I sign?
437
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,109
Wait, are we talking
"Luther" or "The Wire"?
438
00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:39,118
♪♪
439
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,310
[sighs]
440
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,748
I was supposed
to tell you something.
441
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,402
Anything.
442
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:04,578
Mom called.
She needs your social.
443
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,319
Did you write it down?
444
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:07,363
No, that's why
I'm telling you now?
445
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,060
Mitchell, what's the
point of telling me now?
446
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,019
I'm just gonna forget it.
447
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:13,978
God, you're so
much like Dad.
448
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:18,200
I don't know.
I think I'd be Penn.
449
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:21,334
I get to be Teller?You wanna be Teller?
450
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,727
I'll be whoever you
don't wanna be, you know?
451
00:19:23,814 --> 00:19:25,164
[phone rings]
452
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,296
That's what I mean.Whoa.
453
00:19:29,777 --> 00:19:31,909
I feel bad, I have to tell
Darcy we can't come.
454
00:19:31,996 --> 00:19:33,389
She's fine.
455
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,348
She invited 300
other people.
456
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:38,829
Great.
457
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:40,483
They're not
coming either.
458
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,181
Let's just do this.
459
00:19:44,574 --> 00:19:46,402
Do you, Darcy--Yeah, yeah, yeah.
460
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,839
I do, he does,
whatever.
461
00:19:48,926 --> 00:19:50,232
You smell good now.
462
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:53,583
Oh, you smell like Lincoln.
463
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:56,020
Yeah, I smell exactly
like Lincoln.
464
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:57,457
All right, I'm gonna grab the
N train around the corner.
465
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,110
Me too, I'm headed that way.Okay, cool.
466
00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:06,727
Huh, we are perfect
gentlemen, dude.
467
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,642
We're in tuxes.
468
00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:09,947
Right, it's like...
469
00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:12,863
We have to.
470
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:15,126
Right?
471
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,563
Your call, bud, Captain.
472
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:17,999
I say we do it.
Let's do it.
473
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:20,610
Ooh! Ooh!
This day.
474
00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:23,831
Hello, sir.
475
00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,180
Oh, my gosh,
thank you.
476
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,924
They've completely remodeled.
477
00:20:30,011 --> 00:20:31,012
This used to
be carpet.
478
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:32,535
Love hardwood floors.
479
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:34,189
[Abbi]
Ilana, what?
480
00:20:42,589 --> 00:20:43,981
We touched boobs!
481
00:20:44,068 --> 00:20:45,940
We touched
boobs!
482
00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:48,508
We touched boobs!
483
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:49,857
We touched
boobs!
484
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,206
We touched boobs!
485
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:52,816
We touched
boobs!
486
00:20:52,903 --> 00:20:54,905
We touched boobs!
487
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,516
We touched
boobs!
33861
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