Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:07,920
What?
2
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,054
How am I
getting shorter?[knocking]
3
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:15,319
Jeremy.
4
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,930
Hey, Ab.Hey.
5
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,976
Locked out
of my apartment.
6
00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:21,369
You have a spare,
right?
7
00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:23,371
No, I don't, I don't,
I would totally remember
8
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,547
if I had, um, one
of your keys.
9
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:27,418
That's weird.
10
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,985
You'd be the person I'd pick
if I gave someone a spare,
11
00:00:29,072 --> 00:00:31,292
so, I just
assumed you had one.
12
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:32,336
I would be?
13
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:34,077
I mean, I
would take one.
14
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,036
If we want to go through
that and that commitment,
15
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,081
I would have it with
me whenever.
16
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:39,213
Um...
17
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,084
While you're here,
inside my apartment,
18
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:44,348
maybe you could help me
put up a shelf?
19
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:45,741
I'd love to.
20
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,395
Let's do
that then.
21
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,745
♪ Blades of grass to look
like something new ♪
22
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:52,791
[crashing]
23
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,184
It's this guy.
24
00:00:54,271 --> 00:00:57,318
It won't
stay on the wall.
25
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,233
Crazy.
26
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,756
Do you mind if
I take off my shirt?
27
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,366
Wow...Um.
28
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:05,935
Sure.
29
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:09,678
Where'd you get
all that oil from?
30
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,506
Now I can put up that shelf.
31
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:15,031
♪♪
32
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:18,556
You're so...
slippery.
33
00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,254
[bang]
34
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:22,691
Wow.
35
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:26,086
That was
a hot dream.
36
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,088
My neighbor Abbi is so sexy
37
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:33,223
and now I have this
great big humongous boner.
38
00:01:34,485 --> 00:01:36,835
Oh my God.
39
00:01:36,922 --> 00:01:38,446
[breathing heavily]
40
00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:39,664
So intense.
41
00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,101
Hey sleepyhead.
42
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,146
Someone had
a sexy dream, huh?
43
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,843
Shut up, Bevers.
44
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,498
Shut your
stupid face.
45
00:01:47,585 --> 00:01:48,673
[groaning]
46
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,545
Yeah, girl,
get it!
47
00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:51,633
Ilana.
48
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,461
I'm so happy
you're here.
49
00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:55,637
I was thinking maybe we could
masturbate next to each other.
50
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,029
Really?
51
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,335
I'm always trying to
get you to parallel play.
52
00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,423
You're never into it.
53
00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:03,079
It's because I
want to so badly.
54
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:06,474
♪♪
55
00:02:06,561 --> 00:02:08,824
[gasping]
56
00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:11,087
Oh my God.
57
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,437
What a way
to start the day.
58
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,700
It's 5 p.m.
59
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,963
Great--
Closing time.
60
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,530
Have a good night.
61
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:22,881
♪ Four and three
and two and one, one ♪
62
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,977
Hurricane Wanda
has been upgraded
63
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,892
[knocking] to a Category Four storm.
64
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,330
It is due to hit New York in
just a matter of hours.
65
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:37,461
The city--
66
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:38,506
Oh, thank God.
67
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:39,985
Hey, mama.
68
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,509
The lines were too long
at the grocery store,
69
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:42,814
so we just
went to the bodega.Okay.
70
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,816
Cool--
Come in.
71
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,862
We got you the batteries and
duct tape, Sour Patch Kids,
72
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:49,778
Nutter Butters,
Mrs. Fields cookies.
73
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:52,563
'Cause we all might
die, so...
74
00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,740
And they gave us
potato salad half off.
75
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,481
Wow... Great--
That's awesome.
76
00:02:57,568 --> 00:02:59,396
So many awesome things
happening here right now.
77
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,703
Like, for instance,
Bevers is here.
78
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,922
And he invited
his sister to stay.Ew.
79
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,316
Here--
Right now.
80
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:07,665
So...
81
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,842
Yeah-- I just found out that
she has an 11th toe.
82
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,757
Funny enough.
83
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:16,196
And she said that it's not where
you would expect it to be.
84
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,936
What do you mean?I don't know.
85
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:20,156
'Sup--
Marla Bevers.
86
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,984
Do I smell potato
salad?
87
00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:23,464
Just kidding.
88
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,595
I know I smell
potato salad.
89
00:03:24,682 --> 00:03:27,772
I think it was a gift
for the host of the party.
90
00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,165
[Matt]
Isn't this so fun?
91
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,775
It's like
the gang's all here.
92
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:31,863
Yeah--
I was dying to see
93
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,082
where my baby bro lives.
94
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:35,215
Well, it's
not his apartment.
95
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:36,390
His girlfriend lives
here, so...
96
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:39,001
Where is your
girlfriend, dude?
97
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,308
Well, she went--Yeah, she went to
her parents' house.
98
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,222
In Jersey.
99
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,701
To escape
the storm.
100
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,616
They were supposed to go--
She asked him to go.
101
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,357
I don't know what's
going on with that.
102
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,054
It's just
too much presh.
103
00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:51,622
Her parents are like,
too into me.
104
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:55,322
They just think I'm really fun,
but the fun's staying here!
105
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:56,801
It's like
camp right now!
106
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,499
I have an idea--
Drinking game.
107
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,414
Yes! Yes!
108
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,589
Mm.
109
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,417
Yes!Yes, I get
the booze.
110
00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:05,549
[Abbi]
I think that's
a great idea, Ilana.
111
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:08,160
Thank you for being here
and bringing people.
112
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,466
I love you too, dude.
113
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,859
It's like a moment.
114
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,513
I feel like nobody else
is here, you know?
115
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,650
In case we all die,
there is something
116
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:21,783
that I must
confess to you, Ilana.
117
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,219
Um...
118
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,047
♪♪
119
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:31,227
Last summer, um, I switched our
laptop chargers in the night--
120
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:34,012
during the night,
like a sneaky thief.
121
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:35,492
And that's why
yours never works.
122
00:04:35,579 --> 00:04:37,015
And I see you try and
you try and you try
123
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,061
and it's
because it's mine.
124
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:40,497
Oh.It's never gonna
work, Ilana.
125
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:41,846
I'm so sorry.
126
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:42,717
It's not a big deal at all.
127
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,806
Really?
128
00:04:44,893 --> 00:04:46,024
My God.
129
00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:46,764
You are
forgiveness.
130
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:47,809
You are.
131
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,245
Wow-- Whew.
132
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,290
Thank you
everybody.
133
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:51,508
Namaste--
Gracias.
134
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,814
Okay--
I'll continue the game.
135
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:55,164
Um...
136
00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:58,298
Never have I ever...
read a newspaper.
137
00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,560
Really?
138
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,692
Even homeless people
read newspapers.
139
00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:03,825
Um, I'll guess I'll go.
140
00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:06,828
Never have I ever...
141
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,699
never have
I ever, um,
142
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,310
dealt with how my parents'
divorce affected my overall,
143
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,834
you know, being in
relationships.
144
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:15,227
So...
145
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:20,450
Hey.
146
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,496
Yeah... I mean,
it's an intense subject.
147
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,193
Can I get a bite
of that P-sal?
148
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,412
No, I'm still
working on it.
149
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:27,196
There's a lot of--[screaming]
150
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,589
Bevers, calm down.
151
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,025
There's candles
somewhere.
152
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,156
My goodness.
153
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,419
[Ilana]
Relax-- Breathe.
154
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:33,768
[Jaime]
Calm down, Bevers.
155
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,726
♪ Boonce boonce
boonce boonce ♪
156
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:38,512
♪ Helicopter
Boonce boonce boonce boonce ♪
157
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:41,297
[Bevers laughing]
158
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:47,521
Time for
a Camp Miniwakaga favorite.
159
00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:51,089
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
160
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:52,961
Come on, everybody
try to lift me.
161
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:57,705
You can only
use two fingers.
162
00:05:57,792 --> 00:06:00,969
[all]
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
163
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:04,233
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.[stomach grumbling]
164
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,236
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.Hey.
165
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:10,152
Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.
166
00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,414
Light as a feather...
167
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:12,720
You okay--
What's up?
168
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:16,419
Just a lot of people
here and I spite eat.
169
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:17,899
All of that
potato salad.
170
00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:18,987
You're poop thing?
171
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:20,380
I wouldn't
call it that.
172
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,903
You gotta get
over it.
173
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,034
You have to
let it out.
174
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:24,384
It is seriously
dangerous.
175
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,950
There's too
many people here.
176
00:06:26,037 --> 00:06:27,474
I can't--
I won't do it.
177
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:28,823
You got two
options here.
178
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,302
Either I'm going
to go in with you
179
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,696
and do ocean noises in
your ear to relax you
180
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,002
or I'll distract
everybody out here.
181
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,264
It's up to you.
182
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,396
I think we should go
with the second one.
183
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,006
Number two for
number two.
184
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,877
Nice.
185
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:42,140
Get in there.
186
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,403
[all]
...stiff as a board.
187
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,405
You guys--
Bags!
188
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:48,320
Throw 'em up
in the air, huh?
189
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,931
It's like
"American Beauty."
190
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:55,980
♪♪
191
00:06:56,067 --> 00:07:00,115
[laughing]
192
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:06,121
[handle rattles,
no flushing]
193
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:07,644
No, no, no.
194
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:08,906
Move these...
195
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:11,474
Okay.
196
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:12,823
All right,
so what is this?
197
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:16,000
Is the... ball caught
or something.
198
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:18,786
There's no water.
199
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:21,658
No.
200
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:22,746
[whispering]
Ilana.
201
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:23,965
Ilana.
202
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,967
Hey.
203
00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:28,709
[Jeremy]
Just came by to see
if anybody needed anything.
204
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:30,232
[Ilana]
We're having a little
blackout party.
205
00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:32,060
Come on in.Cool.
206
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,236
[thunder rumbling]
207
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:40,372
[Abbi]
This is an a-ha moment.
208
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,765
This is an a-ha moment.
209
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:44,986
I can make this an
a-ha moment weekend.
210
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,466
Fuck.
211
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,647
[rain pouring]
212
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,521
[Ilana]
What?
213
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,658
[knocking][Ilana]
Let me in.
214
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:05,746
It's just me.
215
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:12,013
Okay.
216
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,405
So it's bad.
217
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,277
I'm sorry this
is happening to you.
218
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,888
On the one night that Jeremy
comes over to my apartment,
219
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:19,281
I explode.
220
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:20,412
Like, I mean,
this is the worst.
221
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,501
This is the best.
222
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,546
This is a sexy
situation.
223
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,505
It's terrifying
outside.
224
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,854
There's candles
all lit.
225
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,333
And who's
your competition?
226
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,205
Marla Bevers?
227
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:32,163
Abbi, I'm going to take
care of this for you.
228
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,035
There's no way--
229
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:37,212
I am a doo doo ninja.
230
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:38,300
What does that
even mean?
231
00:08:38,387 --> 00:08:40,781
You-- You do...
232
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,086
Do you grant
me permission
233
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:45,263
to use any means necessary
to make this go away?
234
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,396
Sure, fine.
235
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:50,878
Look me in the eyes and
tell me I have your permission.
236
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:53,707
You have my
permission.
237
00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:56,144
Any means necessary?Any means necessary.
238
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:57,188
Great.
239
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,712
Awesome...
240
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:00,148
Now get out there,
bounce some little titties
241
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:03,543
for that hunky, quarter-Latino
and whatever else he is.
242
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,022
I dunno.Okay-- Thank you.
243
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,067
Hey.
244
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:07,590
Gimme.
245
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,636
Oh my God,
thank you.
246
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,162
Okay.
247
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:15,337
[gasping]
248
00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:16,860
Oh Lord.
249
00:09:16,947 --> 00:09:19,384
[exhales deeply]
250
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,127
Hold up.
251
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,652
Oh.
252
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,436
Yeah!
253
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:29,394
Hey...
There you are.
254
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:30,918
Hey, Jeremy.
255
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:33,355
I was just, uh, in my
bedroom 'cause a felf shell.
256
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:34,138
A felf shell.
257
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,836
A shelf fell.
258
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,098
Off the wall--
It was crazy.
259
00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:38,316
You need some help?
260
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:39,666
I'm pretty good
with the felf shells.
261
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:42,059
No, no, no. We should
stay out here.
262
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,147
We should
definitely--[Matt]
Hey, guys.
263
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:45,106
We're putting
together a talent show.
264
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:47,108
Don't have to figure out what
your talent is, Ab.
265
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:50,067
Pretty sure it's
not washing dishes.
266
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:55,029
She's always making
me wash dishes!
267
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:57,031
Such a jokester.
268
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:59,207
I love dishes
and washing them.
269
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:00,251
It is gone.
270
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,296
The deed is done.
271
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,124
Your sh--Iiit...
272
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:10,827
♪ It looks like
there's a talent show ♪
273
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,177
♪ In the living room ♪
274
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:18,574
♪ I think that we should
go do that now ♪
275
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:22,360
I'll do anything if
she sings it like that.
276
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,275
As these wind speeds
increase, it is critical
277
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,060
that you stay inside.
278
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:27,714
We've already seen reports
of downed power lines
279
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,280
and we're
seeing heavy debris
280
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:31,239
blowing from
construction sites.
281
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,284
Wind gusts are going
to go a lot higher
282
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:34,459
before this is over.
283
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,723
Hello, my name
is Flo.
284
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,376
Everyone say,
"Hello, Flo."
285
00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,378
[all]
Hello, Flo.
286
00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:41,510
I can do lots of dances.
287
00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:45,035
I can do
the running man.
288
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:47,777
I can do the Roger Rabbit.[Abbi]
It looks real.
289
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:50,388
I went into the park and
I did some jumping jacks.
290
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:54,001
One, two, three, four.
291
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,916
[beat boxing]
292
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,832
♪ We are the boys
of Danny's bunk eight ♪
293
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:01,312
♪ We like to eat Skittles
and master the bait... ♪
294
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:04,185
♪ ...Ting of hooks
and archery too ♪
295
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:07,275
♪ We're Counselor Danny's
bunk now who are you ♪
296
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,973
♪ I'm Matthew Bevers
I'm from Terre Haute ♪
297
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,497
♪ I like being on land I
get sick on a boat ♪
298
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:15,413
♪ We're Danny's boys
and we love to rap ♪
299
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,416
♪ Not just with our mouths but
with our mushroom caps ♪
300
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:20,941
[all]
No, no!
301
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,899
No, no, no,
the schlong song part
302
00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:24,814
is the best part of the rap,
I swear to God.
303
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:25,946
[Marla]
I'll go next.
304
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,687
You sure?Yeah, yeah, yeah.
305
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,123
It's all right--
You can show it to me later.
306
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:34,084
My talent is I will leg
wrestle anyone in here.
307
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:35,999
You--
Cheekbones.
308
00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:38,306
Let's do this.
309
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:41,352
Down on your butt.
310
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:42,702
Here we go.
311
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:43,615
[Matt]
Yeah, lock 'em up!
312
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,052
[Lincoln]
Lock 'em up!
313
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,706
Oh!
314
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,360
I got a boot in my cootch
and I do not care!
315
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:50,753
What?
316
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,102
What are
you doing?
317
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,190
You are wasting
edge of death time.
318
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:54,888
Make a move.What do you what
me to do?
319
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:58,848
My talent can't be
to like, wash his body.
320
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:02,330
You mean like, wash his
body after sex, right?
321
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:04,636
I want to make sure you're
optimizing your fantasies.All right, it's
the first thing I thought of.
322
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,726
I know
what we will do.
323
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:08,466
I know what we
will do.
324
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:11,905
You say, "Let's
play Truth or Dare."
325
00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:14,734
You pick me, I say, "Dare"
and then--
326
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:15,473
Got it, got it,
got it, got it.
327
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,040
Say no more.
328
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,956
Okay, cool.
329
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:22,437
10, yes![Matt]Whoo!
330
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,352
Champion![Jeremy coughing]
331
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,180
Don't feel bad.
332
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,008
I'm on speed.
333
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,271
Yeah.
334
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:31,359
Okay, you guys.
335
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:32,403
Truth or Dare.
336
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:33,840
No, come on.
337
00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:35,102
We have to finish
the talent show.
338
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:36,407
No, we don't.
339
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:40,890
Um, hmm... Who should I--
who wants to-- Abbi.
340
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,022
Truth or dare?
341
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:43,197
Truth or dare?
342
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:44,502
Truth or dare?
343
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:46,330
You know what,
I'm gonna go with dare.
344
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,505
Okay.
345
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:50,595
I dare you to
suck Jeremy's dick.
346
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,032
[thunder rumbling]
347
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,774
Um, that's a wrap
on Truth or Dare.
348
00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:00,954
Oh my God.
349
00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,999
Oh, this is an
amazing use of space.
350
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,610
See, this is next
level feng shui.
351
00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:08,309
That pasty ass.
352
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,180
He lives
here for free.
353
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:11,834
Whoa.
354
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,227
That's Abbi's
roommate?
355
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:14,315
Yeah.
356
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:16,012
She is so hot,
it's bizarre.
357
00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,405
Look at her body--
So tight.
358
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:20,669
Next to him, it's
just like, "You suck, dude."
359
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:24,934
Fully stocked
mini fridge.
360
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:26,849
Should I put my Lincoln Log
on one of these cans?
361
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,677
That is
so sweet.
362
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,635
Abbi would
love it.
363
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:34,161
Guys, there's something that
I want to get off my chest.
364
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,511
In case, you know,
we die today.
365
00:13:39,557 --> 00:13:40,471
It's okay.
366
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:44,171
♪♪
367
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,782
I once ate a corn
on the cob...
368
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,784
including the cob.
369
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:51,482
I can't really-- I don't see
anything wrong with that.
370
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:52,744
It's okay.
371
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,181
I'm sure it's good
for you in some ways.
372
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,922
Yeah.I mean, it's roughage,
right?
373
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,749
I do it
every time.
374
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,057
I'm sorry, do you guys
smell something?
375
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,537
No.
376
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,147
Smell a little
like dookie, no?
377
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:05,627
Can you grab me some more
wine just to top it off?
378
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:08,717
It's getting flat.Sure.
379
00:14:08,804 --> 00:14:10,675
Jaime, it's you.
380
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:11,763
You smell terrible.
381
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,113
I smelled
it all night.
382
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,331
I'm sorry.
383
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:15,550
I think you stepped
in something.
384
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,160
I'm so sorry.
385
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:20,033
I think that we can all
agree that there's no smell.
386
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,208
It's the storm,
I think.
387
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,427
Yep.
388
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:26,778
♪♪
389
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:31,392
Sweet dreams
on my ass, Bevers!
390
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:35,135
[farting]Yes-- Got it!
391
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:36,484
[Ilana]
W-w-wait, wait, wait.
392
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:37,877
Ew.
393
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:43,404
It's tea time,
bitch.
394
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:44,971
Oh, governor!
395
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,147
I have a hole
in my weenus!
396
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:48,583
[laughing]
397
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,542
Have you been
to Africa?
398
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:52,674
No.Oh, you gotta go.
399
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,415
I would love
to go.
400
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,983
Yeah, I learned to cook meat
just out in the wilderness.
401
00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:59,376
Yeah, you, you
cook a lot, right?
402
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:01,639
Every time I'm outside your
door, it smells so good.
403
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,903
It smells like garlic or--You're smelling
my apartment?
404
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,558
Walking to places
that I go.
405
00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,865
I go to a lot of spots.
406
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,606
To answer your question,
I love to cook.
407
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,216
Me too.
408
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,262
I think cooking is
just a wonderful thing.
409
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:20,180
It's like, spices all over
stuff and mixed in.
410
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:21,659
What do you
like to make?
411
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,618
Egg, mostly.
412
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:25,968
[angered shouting]
413
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,797
[Marla]
What the hell!
414
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:31,060
Who shit in my shoe?
415
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:39,416
Motherfuckers!
416
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,418
So which one of
you maggots did it?
417
00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:42,985
Okay, um, I'm
going to go.
418
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,247
I live right next
door, so--
419
00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:47,120
No one's going
anywhere until I find out
420
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:51,602
who took a shit
in my Shapely!
421
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:54,562
Was it you,
Dimples?
422
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:55,867
No, no.
423
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,260
I'm on a
low-fiber diet.
424
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,654
I go like, twice a week,
tops. I promise.
425
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,525
You know, it could
have been anyone, actually,
426
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:02,918
'cause in hurricanes, people
are coming and going
427
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,876
and there's a lot
of stuff happening.
428
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,749
[urine splashing]
429
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:10,752
Matty,
come on, huh?
430
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,058
Camp was rough.
431
00:16:12,145 --> 00:16:15,017
Tonight brought up a lot
of bad memories.
432
00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:17,193
You took a dump
in my size 11s.
433
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,803
Just say so.
434
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,153
No, it wasn't me.
435
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,893
It wasn't me at
camp either.
436
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,025
Camp was the best.
437
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:24,505
I had
the best time.
438
00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:27,421
Danny was the coolest
counselor ever.
439
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:31,164
Only me and Greg Shapiro
could blow ourselves.
440
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,644
I was always
the fastest at it.
441
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,516
Always!
442
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:38,606
What? No.
443
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,738
No... Oh.
444
00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:42,653
No, no, you got
it wrong.
445
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,742
It wasn't like that!
446
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:48,746
I would blow myself and Greg
would blow himself separate,
447
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:49,965
across the room.
448
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,662
There's a video
of it!
449
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,403
There's a--
450
00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:02,891
Are you the secret dumper,
brown eyes?
451
00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:04,936
Oh my God.
452
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,677
Marla, I know--
It was Brody.
453
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:07,722
Come on, Brody!
454
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:08,766
Come on out here, boy.
455
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,072
Come on out!
456
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:11,291
Brody's my dog.
457
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:12,683
And that
explains it.
458
00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,337
Sorry, guys.
459
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:15,556
Oh, I feel like a crazy
methhead right now.
460
00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:16,905
It's okay--
It's fine, it's fine.
461
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:19,429
Except for one thing!
462
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:25,305
If you had a dog, I'd be dead
because I'm allergic, bitch!
463
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:30,658
So Abbi, why'd you shit
in my Shapelys?
464
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:33,748
And tell
it to the toe!
465
00:17:33,835 --> 00:17:37,404
[thunder crashing]
466
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:38,753
Fine!
467
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,711
God, it was me!
468
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:42,061
I didn't shit
in your Shapely though.
469
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,540
I wouldn't do that.
470
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,673
I shit in the toilet,
but there's no water
471
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:46,978
and I couldn't flush it.
472
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,980
Ilana said that she
would take care of it;
473
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:53,333
I did not think that that meant
she would put it in your shoe.
474
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:54,377
God.
475
00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:56,031
I'm sorry.
476
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,989
I'm sorry.
477
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,122
Okay, uh,
this was so fun.
478
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:02,820
I'm gonna go.
479
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:04,257
Glad I kept
my shoes on.
480
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:07,216
I will see you...
when I see you.
481
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:08,522
I feel like I
can explain it better.
482
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:09,610
In the hall.
483
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:15,877
Okay.
484
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:17,531
Oh, hey,Ilana.
485
00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:19,881
Crazy things
happening right now.
486
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,536
When you said you were a ninja,
I didn't know that that meant
487
00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:24,581
you were just
gonna put it in a shoe.
488
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,105
What?
489
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:27,367
I didn't put it
in a shoe.
490
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,195
There's shit in
this shoe, is there not?
491
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:32,546
Thank you so much
for covering for me.
492
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:33,590
You're the best.
493
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,201
You shit in your
sister's Shapely.
494
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:37,028
I'm just trying
to say thank you.
495
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,248
I'm really glad that Jeremy
thinks it was you and not me,
496
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,859
'cause I think I might be
developing a man crush on him.
497
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:43,252
He's pretty cool.
498
00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:45,689
Let me take that.
499
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:49,302
You don't have to worry
about this again.
500
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,129
I get it.
501
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:51,434
Jeremy has
amazing teeth.
502
00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:54,437
Yeah--
Jeremy's pretty amazing.
503
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:55,525
Do you mind if I talk to
Lincoln for a second?
504
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:56,613
Sure.
505
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,789
♪♪
506
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:02,793
Hi, Lincoln, um, before we die,
which might be tonight,
507
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,578
there is something
that I have to say to you
508
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,623
and it's very hard
for me to say.
509
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,234
Listen, we've known
each other for a while,
510
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:09,452
so you can say
anything to me.
511
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:11,237
What's up?
512
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:12,586
Okay, I'm gonna
say it, okay?
513
00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:14,457
Um...
514
00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:16,503
When I was a little boy,
I had a pet turtle.
515
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:17,982
His name
was Franklin.
516
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:22,422
Privately, though, his
name was the N-word.
517
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:25,033
I would say,
"Come here, [bleep].
518
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,774
I love you, [bleep]."
519
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:28,906
I'm so sorry.
520
00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:32,562
[laughing]
521
00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:40,091
[laughing]
522
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,920
[sounds zipping backward]
523
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,401
Get out there and bounce
them little titties
524
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,186
for that hunky,
quarter-Latino.
525
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:48,796
Thank you.Hey.
526
00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:50,406
Gimme.
527
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:52,321
Oh my God,
thank you.
528
00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:58,066
Hold up!
529
00:19:58,153 --> 00:20:00,590
Oh!
530
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,853
Yeah!
531
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:07,815
♪♪
532
00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:11,297
We're just putting
together a talent show.
533
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:19,696
♪ Do it again ♪
534
00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:21,742
♪♪
535
00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:29,402
♪♪
536
00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:32,448
It's all
in good fun.
537
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:36,844
It is gone.
538
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:37,975
The deed is done.
539
00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:40,151
Your sh--Iiit...
540
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:47,594
♪ It looks like
there's a talent show ♪
541
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:50,031
♪ In the living room ♪
542
00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:54,470
♪ I think that we should
go do that now ♪
543
00:20:56,777 --> 00:20:59,040
Ooh.
544
00:20:59,127 --> 00:21:00,781
Oh!
545
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:03,044
Oh!
546
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:06,569
Oh!
547
00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:08,005
Ah.
548
00:21:08,092 --> 00:21:09,659
Oh.
549
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:15,535
We do the Crip walk.
550
00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:17,406
Press this button with your
left foot.
551
00:21:17,493 --> 00:21:19,321
I'm tap dancin'
and I'm making money.
552
00:21:19,408 --> 00:21:22,324
One, two, three, four
553
00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:25,588
five, six and seven.
554
00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:27,416
I didn't ten, I don't
like even numbers.
36573
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.