Original subtitles

Woohoo!

- Sexy! - Keep going!

Beautiful!

For you.

There, I'll come back later, okay?

Hello!

I'm Nico.

What's your number? Oh, maybe later.

Oh!

[sighs]

Hello?

Yes, I'm at the club.

What?

Speak louder!

A sexy girl is dancing on stage!

So beautiful!

What?

Yeah, I just treated my friends.

And I plan on using up all my money on these women!

What?

Are you mad?

I don't care!

Are you crazy?

I want to take her home!

What?

You want to break up? Sure!

Yeah, I want that!

When I get home, you better be gone!

Damn you too!

Okay! Bye!

You're pretty tough!

Who were you talking to?

I don't know who it was.

Who owns this phone?

Someone called earlier!

Mine!

That's mine, man!

Oh!

Thanks a lot, man!

I owe you one!

Group hug!

Uh, sure...

Group hug!

Thank you, man!

Thank you!

Wow Mani OST Performed by: Pio Balbuena, Janno Gibbs

Where do you want to eat?

Up to you, I'm fine eating on a plate.

- Plate? - Mhm.

What do you want to eat?

Food.

Can you be more specific? So you know...

What? Just...

Rice and any kind of food.

- Is that so? - Mhm.

Hey!

Stupid bird! It pooped on me! So gross!

Wait, I have a tissue. I'll wipe it.

No, it's fine.

The bird's already far. How are you going to wipe its butt?

Ugh, so gross!

Injanns!

Because we have 100 thousand followers now,

we have a giveaway as my thanks to you.

The prize is... one of the tribes people.

Just comment down below who you like,

and why you deserve to win.

Okay?

Okay.

Arowana. Okay, game.

Mamadede Tribe, do you have any questions for me?

Yes.

Injanno Jones, you're an expert in anything, right?

Of course.

Can I ask about holidays,

and the other occasions?

Holiday and occasions?

That's a difficult subject.

But... I'll manage.

What is the day for the swimmers?

The day for the swimmers...

April 1.

Why April 1?

Because April 1 is...

April Fool's Day.

Oh!

Why?

Well...

Where do swimmers swim?

At the swimming fool, right?

Ah!

Yes?

Do you have a day for lovers?

Ah!

That's... February 14.

Valentine's Day.

"Araw ng mga puso"

Oh!

But...

when...

they are separated, that's a different day.

That's a different occasion.

- What is that? - Independence Day.

- What? - Freedom!

- Ah! - Oh!

Uh... Anyone?

Do you have a day...

for loiterers?

A day for loiterers? Yes, there's one!

What is it?

Every day.

They don't do anything anyways.

Everyday, they're doing nothing.

- Oh! - Mhm!

Sir?

Do the politicians have a special day?

Special day for politicians?

Actually, there are two occasions.

One is All Saints' Day...

and the other is All Souls' Day.

What?

Why two?

All Saints Day, because when there's an election, they campaign,

they are like saints.

Now, when they win, it's All Souls Day, the day of the dead.

- Oh... - Why?

Because we are dead. They're going to ignore us now.

- Ah! - Oh!

Thank you for your question, Pocahontas.

- Injanno! I have a question. - Hmm? Yes?

Do rich people have a special day?

Yes, they do.

It's a good thing you asked.

- There is one. - Really?

- Yes. - "Mahal na araw."

- Why that? - You know why?

Is that something poor people can afford?

It's expensive.

- Oh! - Oh!

Me! I have a question!

Is there a day where workers don't work?

A day where workers don't work?

- Yes. - There's one!

Labor Day.

Labor Day? Why don't they work during Labor Day?

Because instead, they're holding rallies.

- Oh! - Ah!

Yes? What is it?

Is there a day for those asking for forgiveness?

Huh? Uh...

There is. Um...

It's called...

Actually, it's the whole season.

Christmas season.

Why Christmas season?

Because when we're caroling house to house,

what do the people tell you?

I'm sorry.

And then we sing...

♪ Thank you. ♪

- ♪ Thank you. ♪ - ♪ Thank you. ♪

♪ You're all so cheap! ♪ ♪ Thank you! ♪

- Oh! - [clapping]

- Okay, do we still have time? - But, Injanno!

What?

Do sons have their own day?

A day for sons?

There is

That is the day after Saturday.

- Sunday! - Sunday!

- Oh! - Mmm!

Do gays have their own day?

A day for gays?

Uh... Yes!

- Uh... - What is it?

Ash Wednesday.

Ash Wednesday? Why?

Well...

I will just poke... I mean, I will just teach you.

Later.

Uh...

Injanno. What about gay partners who've separated?

Oh, that's painful.

Because they will get annulled!

- Annulled? - What's that?

I will teach you too.

Later.

Wow, how lucky!

Do you have any more questions?

- I have a question, Injanno! - Okay, Arowana!

Do ugly people have a special day?

Ugly people?

They do!

What is it?

When's your birthday?

Injanno!

Don't get angry! Calm down!

What about you? When is your birthday?

Ugh, you should've calmed down! You even got me involved!

That's all the time we have. Thank you very much.

Thank you, Tribe Mamadede.

Thank you!

Until next time, Injanns!

Bye!

Bye. Say bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

Okay.

Arowana.

Where's my ride?

Your ride?

It's here.

Let's ride.

If your uncle's sister isn't your aunt, who is she to you?

If your uncle's sister...

Isn't your aunt, who is she to you?

If your uncle's sister isn't your aunt, who is she to you?

Um...

If your uncle's sister isn't your aunt, who is she to you?

Cousin!

If your uncle's sister isn't your aunt, who is she to you?

- If your uncle's sister... - Ah!

If my uncle's sister...

He's analyzing it.

That isn't my aunt...

You can do it.

Ah...

Logic, logic.

I don't know!

I'm so confused!

Ah...

Cousin!

If my uncle's sister isn't my aunt, who is she to me?

Ah...

She's still my aunt, right?

Because it's my uncle's sister...

Aunt.

Are you sure?

She's still my uncle's sister, right?

She's your mother, sir.

- She's your mother! - Oh!

If your uncle's sister isn't your aunt, who is she to you?

- She's my mother. - She's your mother, right?

- Oh, you're right. - Too bad you didn't get it!

- That's how it is. - Because if you win,

you can get a prize.

100, or a kiss and a hug.

Oh, I couldn't possibly...

But you didn't win!

- What now? Well, thank you, sir! - Oh, it's fine, it's fine.

- As long as we're happy here. - Yes, we are!

Yeah, happy!

Hello and welcome to your favorite show in the whole wide world.

Battle of the Braless!

Thank you very much.

Of course, first, Battle of the Braless is brought to you by Playtime!

The fastest, growing online gaming platform.

I am your host, Janno Depp.

I won't prolong it any further.

Let's call the two universities that will compete today!

Let's start with the students from PBA!

Or, Pamantasan ng Bagong Asawa!

- Come on in! Yay! - Woohoo!

Welcome to the show, girls.

And their opponents are from NBA!

Or, New Boyfriend Academy.

NBA, come on in!

Hello!

They've already won!

They've already won!

- Ah! - Wait, wait!

Let's go on with the game!

- Okay. Are you ready? - Yes!

Wait a minute. Did you prepare any cheer?

- Of course! - Who will go first?

- Us! - We didn't practice.

- You didn't practice? Okay. - Yeah!

- Go ahead! - Everyone, listen.

Wow!

One, two, three, go!

- PBA! - PBA!

Bagong Asawa!

- PBA! - PBA!

Bagong Asawa!

Okay, we're done.

- I'm here. - Yeah.

Are you the director? You even did the cut yourself.

Of course, NBA won't back down.

- Of course! Let's go! - Show them what you've got, NBA!

One, two, three, go!

- New Boyfriend! - New Boyfriend!

- New! New! New Boyfriend! - New! New! New Boyfriend!

- New Boyfriend! - New Boyfriend!

- New! New! New Boyfriend! - New! New! New Boyfriend!

Wow!

- Not enough! - Not enough?

They said it's not good enough! What can you say?

- We practiced it for a week! - We didn't practice at all!

Okay, listen. This is the mechanics of our game.

Of course, we have three rounds.

The easy round, difficult round, and the most anticipated of all,

the final round.

At the end of each round, whoever has the lowest score will have a consequence.

Don't worry, you will choose your punishment.

Okay?

If you're ready?

- Are you ready? - Yes!

- Are you ready? - Ready!

Okay.

Let's go.

Buzzer... Please check your buzzers.

Okay.

Four our easy round, the category is Parenting Studies and Electronics combined.

The question is, if the father is the "pillar of the house,"

the mother is the...

Blank of the house?

It starts with the letter I.

Go! Yes?

-Noise! - Wrong!

Noisy, my mother's noisy.

- She's right! - Seems like it, but you're wrong!

- Yes! - gossiper.

She loves spreading gossip. My mom is like that.

It's still wrong.

jealous person! A jealous person, boss!

Why that?

My mom's a jealous person!

She always asks questions.

Our neighbor is so lucky, they have a new fridge...

Meanwhile... Meanwhile we don't?

Mom, why are you like that?

Geez! You're making me emotional!

Wait, let me give a clue!

We are not looking for the mother's behavior here.

What I'm taking about can be found inside the house.

Toilet.

Toilet of the house. We have that!

Your answer's wrong!

Okay, one more clue.

You often see this when you look up!

- Yes! - Bird.

Bird of the house.

Seriously? The dad is the bird of the house.

Oh, really?

Okay, another clue.

This is what provides light,

especially at night.

What letter I is this?

Star!

Star of the house.

- Star? - Yeah!

Like this! Star! Star! Star!

Watashi wa star!

- See? Nice, nice. - Good answer, but it's wrong!

- Still wrong? - The answer we're looking for is...

Grilled. Inihaw of the house.

Sir, I thought it's something that lights up?

Want to be the host instead?

Want to be the host?

- Go ahead. - Never mind.

Okay, let's recap the scores.

Team NBA, right?

NBA, zero.

Team PBA, zero.

It's a tie!

Miss Consequence, come in!

Lord, thank you!

- It's a tie! - Look, they're so happy!

Okay, thank you.

Let's go first with PBA, while NBA is still picking theirs.

Team PBA...

You have to put the elephant to sleep, while you're carrying it.

Or...

You will take your top off?

Okay.

While you're deciding, I will now be asking Team NBA.

Your choices are...

you will eat peanuts,

and afterwards, you will drink the milk of a lizard.

Or... You will take your top off.

We'll take our top off.

- Okay then. What about you? - We'll take our top off too.

They will be taking their tops off, everybody

We did not force them, they chose their consequence.

Oh, I feel shy...

Okay, friends.

That's the result of the consequence they chose.

We'll be back,

because next up is the difficult round

when we come back here on Battle of the Braless!

Geez!

My husband is such a jerk!

- What? Why? - So annoying!

You know what?

He loves too much!

Is that so? Then why are you so mad?

You know what he said?

He loves me.

He loves the other woman too!

You know what pisses me off?

He loves you too!

And we're ba-- Oh, it's too high.

We're back here on Battle of the Braless!

Friends, we're on the difficult round now!

Girls, this will be harder for you.

So, be ready!

- Okay? - We can do this!

Our category is Fashion Design and Basic Necessity combined.

This is a type of clothing.

If there is a polo shirt, there is also something called a T blank.

What is this blank?

- Yes? - Bone.

T-Bone.

- No, we wear this. - Oops.

- Yes? - Panty!

T... Hmm?

- Right? - You just reversed it.

Wrong, wrong!

Yes?

T-back!

- Oh, that's right! - Yeah!

No, you can find these in department stores!

Salesclerk.

Uh, um...

Let me change the clue!

Let me make it easier for you.

What we're looking for is...

T with a hyphen.

Then a letter S.

T...

Tissue!

Uh...

No... This is often the color white.

- White? - White...

- Yes? - Fair-skinned person.

- Tisay... - We wear this! We wear it!

- Oh, we wear it? - Wait...

- Yes? - Slippers.

Slippers!

No, okay, let me change the clue again!

Um, usually politicians...

During the campaign period,

they often give these away!

- Yes? - Tikoy.

That's in China!

Here in the Philippines...

What do politicians give away? T...

- T? - Yes.

- 500 pesos each. - Oh, shit.

What do you mean?

That's what they give out!

They give 500 pesos!

No, but...

You're pretty close.

You were close to winning!

Because the answer we are looking for is...

One thousand each.

- The price went up. - Oh, I see.

- Inflation. - Okay.

So, let's recap the scores.

Looks like we're having trouble... Are you done computing?

Right, okay...

Their team has zero points.

And their team has? Zero points as well, okay.

- Woohoo! - It's a tie!

Miss Consequence, come on in!

We'll make it up on the next round!

Mhm!

What's that?

Let's start first with PBA.

PBA?

PBA?

Yes.

- There. - Hi.

Your choices are...

you will use a walis tingting,

and clean all the roofs in Metro Manila.

Or, you will take off your skirt.

Sir, we'll take our skirts off.

- Yeah, we'll take it off. - Mhm!

Team NBA.

Your choices are...

You will take a steam bath, and put rose petals

and have a bubble bath at the crater of the Taal Volcano.

Or, you will take off your skirt.

Your choice.

- Sir, we'll take our skirt off. - Okay then.

That is what they chose.

Take your skirts off!

Ah!

Friends, Battle of the Braless will be right back!

Next up will be the most anticipated final round!

This is Battle of the Braless!

Hey, Lotlot!

I heard a rapist went inside your room last night!

Yeah!

Wait, how'd you know?

I heard you, Mars!

You kept smacking him!

I had to!

Why? What happened?

You know, Mars...

- I was sleeping deeply last night. - And then?

I felt that...

Someone pulled my blanket off,

and they took my underwear off too!

I was mentally preparing myself...

I couldn't do anything, in case something happened.

He suddenly turned the lights on.

Our eyes met.

And then?

He suddenly ran away.

I grabbed him.

- I kept smacking him! - Oh? And then?

But then, he got away. Too bad, so close...

And we're back here on Battle of the Braless!

- Woohoo! - Woo!

Yes, my friends.

We're finally at the most anticipated round!

The final round.

Are you ready, girls?

- Ready! - We're ready!

I will make things difficult for you, so I'm sorry.

- We can do that. - Okay.

Our category for this round is...

Mathematics and Numerology combined.

What goes next after sex?

- Yes? - After sex.

Smoke.

You smoke after.

Wrong.

- Yes? - After sex.

Shower.

Of course, it's hot, you're sweaty...

No, no.

- Yes? - After sex...

Sleep!

- Why sleep? - Because you got exhausted.

That's not it.

What we're looking for after sex...

What's next?

Sex...

- Yes? - So easy!

69.

Hey, what are you saying? That's during sex!

Yeah... I mean...

Okay.

You're all wrong.

What we're looking for is...

After sex.,,

Second round.

- Ah! - Oh, right!

After that, that's when you smoke and shower afterwards.

- Oh yeah. - He has a point.

Well, that's what happened to our game.

Let's recap the scores.

Their team has zero,

at their team as zero as well.

Nobody won. It's a tie.

Miss Consequence.

- Please. - It's a tie.

But they were really close to getting it.

There we go.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The...

PBA?

- PBA? - Yes.

Your choices are...

All you need to do is use floor wax

and make TPLEX road shiny.

Or, take your bra off.

What do you think?

We don't have money to buy wax. We'll take our bra off.

NBA.

Your choices are...

You will paint, and change the color of the planet Mars,

from red to yellow.

Or, take your bra off.

Let's take our bras off!

We'll take our bra off, sir.

They will take their bras off!

Let's go!

That's the consequence they chose.

Nobody forced them to do so.

My goodness.

There we go, my friends.

Okay, cover yourselves up first.

- Oh, sorry. - The consequence is done anyways.

Thank you for watching, and su--

And supporting us!

Battle of the Braless is powered by...

Playtime! For all your gaming needs, use Playtime!

This is your host, Janno Depp,

the host who always gets scolded by his wife when he gets home.

I hope you enjoyed watching Battle of the Braless!

- Oh, cover yourselves up! - Oh, sorry!

Sorry, sorry.

- Goodbye! Wave goodbye! - Bye!

- Oh, you're exposed! - Oh no!

Wow Mani OST Performed by: Pio Balbuena, Janno Gibbs