Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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(electronic music)

(dramatic music)

(wolf howling)

(The Collector laughing)

(door creaking)

- [The Collector] So you want to hear a story, huh?

Well, you've come to the right place.

They don't call me the Collector for nothing.

This first story dates all the way back to when

I was but a wee little maggot.

It takes place in a town known as Bakersfield.

It is a place where people go missing all the time.

It is a place perhaps not too far away from you.

(electronic music)

- You looking for a good time?

Silent type, huh?

I guess that answers that.

(dramatic music)

Pull the car over right now.

(dramatic music)

(girl screams) (bell ringing)

- [Announcer] Students, don't forget the homecoming dance

will begin tonight at 7:00 p.m.

Be sure you have a ride to pick you up

promptly at 10:00 p.m.

Dress code rules...

- [Tommy] You don't know what you're talking about.

In issue 354, the Clan of Evil

was taken out solely by the Beam.

Not the Beam and friends, just the Beam.

- [Zach] You're forgetting the Beam was defeated

by Father Justice in issue 482.

It doesn't matter if the Beam has the ray cannon.

- Father Justice is an old mam.

He's useless.

- He's a hero, separator or church and state.

He would look him right in the eye and say

pray for mercy, you slime.

- Is that so?

- What do you think, Ethan?

Ethan?

You gotta be kidding me.

Dude, she's so weird.

- [Ethan] You haven't even talked to her.

- She doesn't talk to anyone.

That's like serial killer behavior.

- I like her.

- Well, you should've asked her to the dance.

- I don't think Mark's coming.

We should get home before Mom gets pissed.

- [Reporter] There are still no leads

on the whereabouts of the missing woman.

Sheriff Brooks spoke earlier today, stating that if you

or anyone you know have any information on the case,

please seek out the nearest police department

or contact the Bakersfield Police immediately.

The crew and I here at 98.5 encourage you

to lock your doors and avoid going out at night if possible.

- Don't tell me you're gonna be like this all night, dude.

- I'm fine.

- Over a stupid girl?

Did you hear about the missing girl last night?

I might know where she is.

(dramatic music)

- Where?

- You boys look so handsome.

Zachary, are you sure you're okay driving tonight?

- Yeah, Mom.

- Ethan, are you feeling okay?

- Yes, Mrs. Stanford.

- You've hardly touched your food.

Are you doing drugs?

- Mom, seriously?

- No, Mrs. Stanford.

I just had a big lunch today, that's all.

- All right, well, you boys have fun tonight.

Call me if you need anything.

- Okay, I say we skip the dance.

- [Ethan] What?

- Yeah, we ditch the dance

and go looking for the missing bodies.

I overheard people talking about them today.

- Bullshit.

- Not bullshit.

- [Mrs. Stanford] Language!

(rock music)

- I gotta get the car keys from Thomas.

- Dude, what the fuck?

- Mom said I could take the car tonight.

I need the keys.

- Bullshit, I'm going to Brittany's house tonight.

- I don't give a shit about your weird ass girlfriend.

- [Tommy] Zach, what the?

What the heck?

Mom, Mom!

- [Ethan] So where do all the bodies go?

- Well, I heard Hank talk to Mr. Hurns during history today.

He said the bodies either wind up floating down French Creek

or they go to a burnt out pile on the outskirts of town.

- Why do you trust Hank?

- Hank's dad is the sheriff.

If anyone knows any of this shit, it's him.

- Well, who's doing all of this?

- Oh shit!

(tires screeching

(mysterious music)

You've gotta be shitting me.

- [Tommy] God fucking damn it.

Zach taking my fucking car.

I'm walking through the goddamn snow.

It's fucking cold.

(static buzzing)

(electronic music)

- What's your deal?

- My brother.

- You wanna cry about it?

I know what will cheer you up.

(dramatic music)

- Are you cold?

Would you like my coat?

It's okay, I'm a little warm anyways.

- I need you to take me to the bus station.

- What?

- Please?

- Why, what's wrong?

Why were you walking outside all by yourself?

- Look, you got into our car to stop our plans.

Why should we take you to the bus station?

- The bodies aren't that important, Zach.

- Bodies?

- Yeah, the bodies of the missing people.

We're gonna go look for 'em.

- Don't say shit like that, it sounds sketchy.

- I know where the bodies are.

- [Host] $405, and Libby.

- [Libby] 410.

- [Host] $410.

There are the four bids.

The actual retail price is...

(phone ringing)

We have got a marvelous show for you next week.

(static buzzing)

We thought you'd enjoy it.

- [Tommy] Hey, it's Tommy, leave a message if you're gay.

(Tommy laughs) (machine beeps)

- Thomas Lee Stanford, get your ass back home immediately.

(dramatic music) And don't think for one second

that you can just ignore my call again, Mister.

I'm calling Brittany's mother right now.

(owl hooting)

(door creaking)

- I thought this place was abandoned.

Guess not.

- You know, I always thought the bodies

ended up at Kingsworth.

Like they were turned into dog food or something.

- [Zach] I sure hope not.

- Hand me that flashlight.

(dramatic music)

(fly buzzing)

(Zach retching)

Happy?

Now please take me to the bus station.

- Oh my God.

This isn't real, Zach.

This isn't real.

Snap out of it.

This is sick.

- How do you know all of this?

- I...

- She did it.

She's the fucking murderer.

- No, Ethan.

- Ethan, let's go.

- You guys need to hide, now.

(dramatic music)

- Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

(door creaking)

- [Man] Princess?

- [Jaime] Yes, Daddy.

(Zach breathing heavily)

- Jaime, you know I love you, right?

- [Jaime] I know, Daddy.

- You know that all I do is for you, right?

- Yes, Daddy.

- Princess, you are the only pure thing left in this world.

I can't let them corrupt you.

What kind of father would I be if that were to happen?

Do you understand?

- Yes, Daddy.

- Then why do you disobey me?

- What?

- Is there a boy in the house?

- What, no, no, there's no boy.

- Then whose coat are you wearing?

(clattering) (dramatic music)

- No, Dad, no.

Dad, no, stop, this isn't right.

- No, no. - Dad, please!

- Please, don't do this. - Dad, stop!

- Please! - Dad!

(Ethan shouts)

Dad, stop!

Stop, Dad!

- Please don't do this.

Please don't do this.

Let me go, let me go!

No!

No, no!

No!

I swear to God, fucking let me go!

- Listen here, keeping Jaime safe

is the only thing I have left!

(Zach screams)

(electronic music)

- Pray for mercy, you slime.

(flesh squishing)

(electronic music)

- Good night, Daddy.

(phone ringing)

- [Ethan] Hello.

- [Casey] Hey, cutie.

- Oh hey, Casey, what's up?

- [Casey] Oh, nothing really.

What are you doing?

- Not much, I was gonna go see Zach later.

- [Casey] Oh, that's cool.

- Why?

- [Casey] Well I just figured we've been dating for a while,

and you have yet to meet my dad.

So I thought maybe you could come over for dinner.

Ethan?

- Uh, yeah, I'll be right over.

I have to run somewhere real quick.

(dramatic music)

No, please don't.

No, no!

No, no, help me!

- Now let that be a lesson to you, children.

Never disrespect your elders.

You may end up like poor Ethan did, grounded (laughs).

This is Lionel.

Lionel, why don't you go ahead and say hello

to everyone out there in the audience.

Audience, you call that an audience?

Looks like a bunch of dummies to me.

Oh, now that wasn't very nice.

He does that from time to time.

Now Lionel, pal, what can you tell us about this next story?

Uh huh, okay.

He said this next one doesn't need an introduction.

(electronic music)

- I'm going in, I'm going in.

- He's a real weirdo, trust me.

Don't let his size fool you.

He could bench both of us if he really wanted to.

- What's this?

- It's a list of his favorite food, drinks, TV shows.

He loves TV, that is if he comes out of his room tonight.

- So if I do this.

- I'll let you do whatever you want to me,

plus I'll even go to prom with you.

If you have any problems, just text me and let me know.

What are you doing?

- Uh, nothing.

- Cade, come say hi to Liam.

He's gonna watch you for the night.

- Hey, Cade, what's going on, buddy?

- Cade isn't here anymore.

(dramatic music)

- Have fun.

(woman screams)

- So, Cade, do you like to watch any sports?

Football?

- [TV Narrator] Night of the Living Dead.

- We only watch hockey.

- Okay, so that's cool.

Who's your favorite team?

- I know you really don't care about me or my interests.

You're just here to fuck my sister.

Believe me, you're not the first one.

- [Liam] Okay, so what's with the dummy?

- Chill, it's okay.

His name is Lionel, and he scares away the monster at night.

- Okay, I'm gonna go get something to eat in the kitchen.

(woman screams)

- [TV Narrator] Night of the Living Dead.

More shattering than your strangest nightmares.

(woman screams)

Night of the Living Dead.

- So you need anything?

- Could you check the closet for any monsters?

- Dude, what?

- Could you check the closet for any monsters?

- Cade, this is ridiculous.

- Do you wanna get with my sister?

- Yeah, but-- - Then go check the closet

for monsters or I'll tell her that you left tonight

to go get drunk with your jock friends.

- Oh God.

No monsters.

- Now check under the bed.

- No monsters under there.

- Are you sure?

- [Liam] Yeah.

- Good night.

- [TV Commentator] Seconds to go in the game.

Notre Dame third and goal

at the three-yard line of Georgia Tech.

(dramatic music)

(upbeat rock music)

- Fuck this, okay.

(Liam knocking)

Cade.

Cade, dude, wake up.

Come on, man.

(dramatic music)

What the fuck?

Cade, Cade, come on, dude.

Cade, come on.

Dude, come on.

Cade, what the fuck?

Cade.

(growling)

Cade, come on, fuckin' open the door, goddamnit!

Fuckin' do it.

Cade, what the fuck was that?

- Pull yourself together.

You wanna date my sister,

you gotta man up and help me face that thing.

- But, come on, man up?

Dude, you're like 15.

- That doesn't matter.

- I'm captain of the football team.

I can handle this.

(monster growls)

(Liam screams)

What is it?

- I don't know, some kinda boogeyman or something.

Or as Lionel likes to call him, boo man.

- Okay, well why the onion powder?

- Have you ever smelled this shit?

- Oh God.

- Yeah, that'll wake the dead.

Now enough questions.

We're gonna trap this thing.

I've got the perfect plan.

We're gonna set the trap here.

Well, I'm gonna set the trap here.

You're gonna distract the thing right around here.

- Wait, wait, wait, what?

Wait, why am I the one that's distracting this thing?

- Because you're captain of the football team.

We're gonna burn it.

- Burn it? - Yeah.

I've got the gasoline and matches ready.

- Dude, how am I supposed to fuck your sister

if the house is burned to the ground?

- Gross.

Do you trust me?

(spit squishing)

Now all you need to do is distract...

(dramatic music)

(monster growls)

(Cade screams)

- [Liam] Captain of the football team!

I'm captain of the football team!

(dramatic music)

- What's your status?

Over.

- Sorry, buddy.

Bait's in position, over.

- [Cade] Do you see anything?

Over.

- Nothing yet.

- [Cade] You're supposed to say over

when you're done talking.

Over.

- Shit.

- [Cade] Liam?

Liam, are you there?

(monster growls)

- Cade, I don't know if I can do this.

This is crazy, man.

Shit!

- [Cade] Liam, the monster's in the trap.

Light the match now!

- [Brooke] Liam.

(upbeat lighthearted music)

Liam, I need you to kill the monster for me.

Then we can have all the unprotected

pre-marital sex you want.

Can you do that for me?

(monster growls) (dramatic music)

- Bye, bitch.

- Was it worth it?

- Burning down the house?

Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, it'll be a cool story if anyone ever asks me

what's the craziest thing you've ever done for a blowjob?

- [Brooke] Liam, Cade, what the fuck?

- Oh shit.

(electronic music)

- Oh, the things a boy will do for love.

Teenage hormones are so killer.

Now please allow me to direct your attention

towards the screen.

This next one really ups the stakes (laughs).

(electronic music)

- Anyone got a light?

- Okay, guys, cut.

That's a wrap there.

Great stuff, great work, everybody.

Hey, tomorrow we are at the new location, okay?

Three o'clock, be there, everybody.

Not 3:01, not 3:02, three o'clock.

And we're gonna get some more work done, okay?

Great stuff everybody.

Hey, start picking this stuff up.

We gotta get out of here.

(Dan thuds)

- [Both] Oh!

- Somebody get him up. - Dano, is he okay?

Somebody get him some water please.

Dan, get up.

(birds chirping)

(Dan gasps)

(knocking)

- Hey, Dan.

- Hey, Missy, what's going on?

Oh, what'd you think?

- [Missy] Oh, they were great.

- Yeah, Kiss is kinda my favorite.

- Are you feeling okay?

- Yeah, fine, why?

- You're looking a little under the weather.

More than usual.

- I'm fine.

- Okay, thank you for letting me borrow your cassette tapes.

And if you ever need something or you decide you are sick

and would like to borrow a bowl of soup or something,

just let me know, okay?

- Yeah, will do, Missy.

(upbeat rock music)

(water spraying)

- [Paul] Hello.

- Paul.

- [Paul] Dano, hi, what's up, big guy?

- Look, I need you to tell me what the name of the girl was

who we did the shoot with last night.

- [Paul] Which one?

- What? - Which girl?

- Okay, look, I know this may sound strange, but I woke up

this morning with a bite on the back of my neck.

I'm feeling kind of weird.

- [Paul] Oh shit, man, you might wanna get that checked out.

- Yeah, will do.

(eerie music)

(Dan sneezes)

(dramatic music)

(crew chattering)

- Order pizza?

I just don't have any money.

Hey, has anyone seen Dan?

Where is he?

- Oh shit.

- Have we met before?

- And then we're gonna have to make sure

we really get the good, oh, it's about time.

Hold that.

Hey, Dano, thank goodness.

I mean, it's about time you arrived.

We're only just a couple hours late,

so we can still do this.

Just a couple hours late.

Would you come in?

What are you doing?

- Oh, thank you.

- All right, Dano.

All right, you're lookin' okay.

You just do what you need to do to get ready,

and we'll be waitin' for you downstairs, okay?

- Yeah. - Okay, we're doin' okay.

(dramatic music)

- [Christi] Well, I ordered the pizza,

but I don't have any money to pay for it.

- [Pizza Man] Well then why the hell did you order it?

- [Christi] So I could give you this.

Oh, pizza man, I've wanted this for so long.

- No, Christi, no, we need you.

We can do this again.

It was just-- - He tried to bite me, Paul.

- Oh, come on, we need you!

Oh, what the hell is wrong with you?

Would you just go home?

- [Missy] Dan?

- Oh hey, Missy.

- Are you okay?

Little hot to be wearing that.

- I've had better days.

- What's wrong?

- It's a long story.

Hey, I could really use that bowl of soup.

Tomorrow maybe?

- Yeah, sure.

Oh, but tomorrow is Father's Day.

- Oh yeah, that's right, I'm sorry.

Never mind. - No, no, it's okay.

My family lives out of state anyway, so I'm not busy.

- Tomorrow then, okay.

- Tomorrow. - Okay.

(phone ringing)

- [Paul] Hello, Dan is that you?

Hello?

(Dan knocking)

- [Missy] Dan, hey, come on in.

- Thank you.

- [Missy] How are you feeling?

- Fine.

- I'm sorry, I should've asked you before making something.

- No, it's fine.

It's just I usually don't eat this early anyway.

It's a good thing we didn't go to my place.

This place is just so nice.

- Thanks.

- So what do you want to do today?

- [Missy] I don't know.

It's up to you.

There's a new movie playing out in theaters.

I think it's called Pig Hill.

- What's that for?

- What, the gun?

Oh, it's my grandpa's hunting rifle.

He used to take me hunting when I was younger.

- [Dan] Really?

I've never been hunting before.

- It's a hobby I guess.

I could take you to one of my favorite spots if you'd like.

This is the spot.

My father wasn't around much when I was growing up,

so my grandpa was more like a father figure to me.

How about your parents?

- Oh, they were great when I was growing up.

Couldn't ask for any better.

- [Missy] So where are they now?

- [Dan] They live in town, and we just don't talk.

- You want to try and shoot?

- Yeah, sure.

- You want to make sure that the butt of the gun

is tucked under your armpit, and you want to make sure

you can see through your sight all right.

(gunshot banging)

- Well that wasn't so bad.

- See, I told you.

- [Mysterious Voice] Join me, Dan, join me.

- I'll be right back.

(dramatic music)

- Everything okay?

(upbeat jazzy music)

You did really well earlier today.

I love a guy that can shoot well.

Look, I don't want to come off as a creep,

but how about this?

I'll confess something if you confess something too.

- Okay.

- Okay, I'll go first.

Okay, I've had a crush on you ever since you moved in,

but you probably could've figured that out.

And sometimes I watch you through a hole in your closet wall

and underneath your front door.

I know what you are, Dan.

(dramatic music)

- Okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom, all right?

- Okay, but you still owe me a confession, Mister.

(Missy knocking)

Is your secret that you want to sleep with me?

- Just a minute.

- It's okay if you're nervous, it's my first time too.

- Missy, you don't mean any of that.

You're just drunk.

- Daniel, my grandpa loaded this with silver bullets

just for you.

- [Paul] Hey, Dano, so Jeremy told me about what's going on.

Look, that's tough, man.

I'm sending over some flowers and just good vibes

and everything, okay bud?

Keep me posted.

Remember we really just miss you over here, okay?

Later, man, get better.

(knocking)

- Missy?

- [Missy] Yeah, it's me.

- Come in.

- Hey, Dan, I...

- Just set them on the table.

- Not feeling so hot, huh?

- Not so hot.

- Well, I want to apologize

for what happened the other night.

That's why I don't drink very often.

- It's all right, Missy, I won't hold it against you.

Hey, I still owe you a confession, right?

- What do you mean?

- You don't remember?

Oh yeah, never mind.

- No, no, tell me.

- Are you sure?

I actually haven't told anyone this.

I mean, everyone knows now, but not the whole story.

So I knew I was sick there for a while.

And I didn't seek any treatment because what's the point?

I was gonna die from it eventually.

I even thought about killing myself for a while.

Life just seemed so bland, so pointless

until I started making things up in my head.

Life wasn't so boring.

It was a thrill.

- What type of things did you make up?

- You would think I'm crazy if I told you.

That was the most fun I've had in years.

- I'm glad.

(flesh squishing)

(electronic music)

(Dan howls)

- Remember, teens, always use protection,

especially against vampires.

This next item comes from a planet far, far away.

Its looks may deceive you, however.

In fact, there are many deceiving things

about this next story.

(electronic music)

(glass shattering)

- What was that?

- I'm not sure.

- April, I thought you said you locked all the doors.

- [April] I did.

- Should we call Mom?

I'm calling Mom.

- Wait, it might just be an animal or something.

(eerie music)

That's definitely not an animal.

- April, this is a bad idea.

(device beeping)

(eerie music)

- [Alien] Humans.

- [Paige] I don't care what you do, April.

- You won't tell Mom?

- Tell her?

What would I even say, that some weird alien thing

crashed in the back yard last night?

Oh yeah, Mom, the alien and April are doing just fine.

- His name is Squid.

- What?

- Squid.

Well, that's not really its name.

It's some weird, long, complicated word

I can't pronounce like cyto, I don't know.

Squid for short.

Look, he really likes the tent.

- [Paige] That was Dad's, April.

- [Squid] Paige.

- I've been teaching it things.

I'm skipping school today, don't tell Mom.

- Okay, well I care about my GPA, so--

- You don't actually care.

You just want to see that boy

you always talk to on the phone at night.

What's his name, Garrett?

- [Squid] Garrett.

- Don't even think about

leaving that thing here by itself today, got it?

I'm gonna be home late tonight.

- Going to Garrett's house?

- [Paige] Enough, April.

- Humans are kind of weird.

Like we like a lot of weird stuff.

Oh, I forgot.

Squid, you have to hear this.

You can't be so shy all the time.

How do you expect to make friends?

(upbeat rock music)

This is called music.

Doesn't it just make you want to move and dance?

(dramatic music)

Oh, that's a picture of my family.

That was back when my dad was still around,

but now it's just my mom, my sister, and I.

My mom travels a lot for work,

so it's usually just my sister and I.

(bell ringing)

- All right, raise your hands if you're in favor

of going to Brady's Friday night.

- [All] Aye.

- It's still trashed from last weekend, man.

- Dude, the shack is where it's at, man.

That place has a ton of history.

- Oh yeah, what kind of history, Garrett?

- None of your business, Tiff.

- Come on, guys, don't think we're naive.

You're virgins.

- Dude, fuck off, man.

- How old were you then?

- I was 16 in the back of my old man's Ford.

- Classy.

- What about you, Princess?

- Uh...

- Holy shit, Garrett, put her out of her misery already.

- So all those in favor of Brady's then?

- [All] Aye.

- Aye, I guess.

- Turn off the light.

- April, what's going--

- Shh.

I wanted him to be more comfortable.

This is what his home looks like.

It'll help him open up more.

- Him, it's a him now?

- Come on out, Squid.

(dramatic music)

- Long before humans came to populate Earth,

Mars was alive and prosperous.

Mars is home.

But not so long ago, the lakes and oceans began to dry up.

Many did not make it through the year.

Many, including me and my family, retreated underground

to form one remaining colony.

I am a traveler, one of many.

I have come to Earth in search of a new home.

This is my native soil.

I bring it here to see

if it can withstand Earth's environment.

Earth can be our home.

I must preserve my family.

(upbeat music)

- Squid.

Squid, turn it down, that's too loud.

You can't do that, Squid.

You'll ruin it.

Look, I can't miss another day of school.

My mom's gonna murder me.

You have to stay here by yourself, okay?

(dramatic orchestral music)

(gunshot banging)

- I put your lunch on the counter.

- Thanks.

(upbeat music)

(bell ringing)

(students chattering)

(dramatic music)

(Paige coughing)

(zombie moaning)

- Oh baby.

Baby.

(woman shouting)

(glass shattering)

- I passed my vocab test today.

I mean, I didn't get like an A on it or anything.

Did you know that cunning is like another word

for like being a liar?

I got that one wrong on the test, but...

You know I'm not mad about the TV, right?

No, you can't leave.

They might try to take you or hurt you or something.

- Humans hurt me?

- I don't know, they might.

- Humans are weak.

(dramatic music)

- I don't know, Garrett.

- [Garrett] It's just one night, Paige.

- I feel weird about leaving April here by herself.

- [Garrett] So what?

She's fucking 15 years old.

She doesn't need a babysitter 24/7.

(dramatic music)

Paige, are you there?

- Yeah, I'll call you back.

- [Garrett] Okay, look, I'm sorry.

- Paige?

- [Paige] Yeah?

- I'm leaving, make sure Squid doesn't burn the house down.

Paige?

Whatever.

(electronic music)

(Paige coughing)

(phone ringing)

- [Garrett] Hey, where the hell were you today?

- I didn't feel good.

- [Garrett] Are you serous?

You're still coming to the shack tonight, right?

- I'm home, Squid.

I got you some pudding from the cafeteria today.

Squid?

Squid?

Squid?

Squid?

Paige, where's Squid?

I asked you to do one thing, Paige,

and you can't even do that.

Remember when we were little

and you actually gave a shit about things?

Now all you care about is that stupid boy,

and all you do is hang around with his preppy friends.

This may be news to you, but everyone knows the only reason

you two are together is because he wants to sleep with you.

- Bitch.

- Squid!

Squid!

Squid!

(electronic music)

(party guests chattering)

- Hey, babe.

You look great tonight.

Let's go someplace more private.

Not the most glamorous, I know.

All the bedrooms were taken.

Look, Paige, I'm sorry.

I should've stood up for you the other day.

I know I can be an asshole sometimes.

Well, a lot of the time.

I'm so sorry.

I really like you,

and I just want you to know that.

(Paige retches)

Paige, what the fuck?

Give me a towel.

Oh, fuck!

- Mom?

Squid.

Where did you go?

I've been so worried.

Please don't leave again.

- I do not take orders from you.

- What?

- Earth will sustain my people.

- Squid, you don't belong here.

- Because I'm not human?

- Well yeah, humans won't understand.

(dramatic music)

Squid, you're hurting me.

- Humans are weak.

You lied.

- What do you mean?

- You said humans would hurt Squid.

Squid will be god to humans.

- Okay, you two, say cheese for the camera.

(eerie music)

- Whoa, who put something in the punch?

- We're just kidding around.

Wow, Paige, that's a really good look for you.

(Tiff screams)

(party guests shouting)

- Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

(door rattling)

- [Squid] I want you to witness this.

The way your world ends.

This button.

On Earth, you may call it evil.

- Squid, don't.

- [Squid] On Mars, we call it survival.

They arrive soon.

(dramatic music)

- [Boy] Oh shit!

(boy screams)

(boy moaning)

(Tiff shouting)

(Tiff crying)

- [Squid] April, I'd like you to meet my family.

They agree we will find living here quite nice.

Perhaps we will refrain from exterminating you.

Perhaps you'll be a pet.

- Go back home, Squid.

- [Squid] To you, I am not Squid any longer.

You will call me leader.

(dramatic music)

- [April] No, please, no!

No, no, please help!

No!

- Poor April, she acts as if it's the end of the world.

(thunder rumbling)

Well, I'm afraid that's all we have time for today.

But fear not, Earthlings,

these tales are just bits of weird fiction.

But I suppose a tale or two might be true.

And I suppose in the grand scheme of things

perhaps a tale such as these might even happen to you.

(The Collector laughs)

(lightning cracks) (dramatic music)

I'll be back (laughs).