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Rongorongo.
4
00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,333
Dondo!
5
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,042
Breakfast. Now.
6
00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:53,000
Get up!
7
00:02:53,917 --> 00:02:58,832
Hello? Hello?
8
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:01,874
Ah. May I say hello?
9
00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:05,999
The minister has returned
and it is myself.
10
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,749
Patrick Archibald MacLeod.
11
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:10,749
But please, call me Paddy.
12
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,416
Yes. And why are you here?
13
00:03:12,417 --> 00:03:14,541
I was just lying
in my bed this morning
14
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:17,999
thinking how I must introduce
myself to all the parish.
15
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,250
Open my arms, so to speak.
16
00:03:20,917 --> 00:03:25,582
Ah. This'll be your lad.
Dondo, is it?
17
00:03:25,583 --> 00:03:28,791
Hmm! What a fine, handsome man
you've grown into.
18
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,749
Hi.
19
00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:32,249
Yes?
20
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:37,374
Well, I've heard
about your loss, Mrs Mackay.
21
00:03:37,375 --> 00:03:39,624
Willy was a fine man.
22
00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:42,916
It must be coming up a year now
since he was taken by the waves.
23
00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:45,167
Fishing on the Sabbath
as he was, I hear.
24
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:49,333
Willy was not a church man.
25
00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:52,499
Nice meeting you.
Porridge is burning.
26
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,208
Please do come back
another time. And you, clothes.
27
00:03:56,958 --> 00:03:59,832
Best put
your trousers on, boy.
28
00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:01,292
I found his boot.
29
00:04:04,792 --> 00:04:06,250
You have faith.
30
00:04:08,375 --> 00:04:11,083
There's nothing I would do
to dampen that flame.
31
00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:13,083
Dondo!
32
00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:19,667
Ah. Ah, well, uh...
Maybe another time.
33
00:04:44,833 --> 00:04:47,042
What are you doing?
34
00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:52,208
He's back. The skiver returns.
35
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:57,500
Wow, you've grown.
36
00:04:58,500 --> 00:04:59,917
You have too.
37
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,666
And your voice has changed.
38
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:06,083
Er, yeah. So has yours.
39
00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:19,542
Sorry about your dad,
by the way.
40
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:25,458
Ach, you know, it'll be fine.
He's OK.
41
00:05:28,417 --> 00:05:29,833
What do you mean?
42
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,375
He's not so bad, you know.
43
00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:49,708
Sas!
44
00:06:51,458 --> 00:06:55,000
- Sir.
- Those bangles have got to go.
45
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,374
Are you asking me
to remove an item of clothing?
46
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,417
-Sร mhach!
47
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,625
Next exam, no bangles.
It's highly distracting.
48
00:07:08,625 --> 00:07:10,457
OK, sir.
49
00:07:10,458 --> 00:07:14,707
But you have to shave your beard
before the next exam.
50
00:07:16,458 --> 00:07:19,582
The way you scratch it
is highly distracting.
51
00:07:24,833 --> 00:07:28,124
All right.
52
00:07:28,125 --> 00:07:30,792
- Bye, sir.
- I'm warning you.
53
00:07:32,292 --> 00:07:34,874
Welcome back, Dondo.
54
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:36,542
You been crying?
55
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:40,416
Tears of joy, sir.
Tears of joy.
56
00:07:40,417 --> 00:07:41,833
Good man.
57
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,958
Dad.
58
00:09:12,625 --> 00:09:16,333
Dondo, he still lives.
59
00:09:55,417 --> 00:09:56,417
Hi.
60
00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:08,125
- Where are you guys from?
- Planet Earth.
61
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:13,000
- Solar System.
- Milky Way.
62
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,042
Whanganui.
63
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:21,042
What about yourself?
64
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:23,292
Just here.
65
00:10:24,375 --> 00:10:27,708
- Here?
- Yes, right here.
66
00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:30,833
Little grommet.
67
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:38,750
There she blows.
68
00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:40,249
Oh, man.
69
00:11:40,250 --> 00:11:43,500
- Yeah, man.
- Whoo!
70
00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:49,917
- Yeah, man.
- Whoo! Whoo-whoo-whoo!
71
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,958
Dondo.
72
00:12:34,708 --> 00:12:35,792
Up!
73
00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:54,874
Is Oxford University
in Oxfordshire?
74
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,582
No. Sexfordshire.
75
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:00,791
No.
76
00:14:00,792 --> 00:14:02,874
You don't know
what you're missing out on.
77
00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:07,166
Goodbye, Kenny.
78
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:08,707
- Come on.
- No.
79
00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:11,333
My final answer is no
and that is my final answer.
80
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:16,542
Fair dos.
We can work with that.
81
00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:00,833
One hundred percent waterproof.
82
00:15:22,708 --> 00:15:24,832
Would you shag Dondo?
83
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:29,666
He's too weird.
It's like he's touched.
84
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,166
Touched?
85
00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:34,250
Touched by something invisible.
86
00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:48,167
- All right. Don the grom.
- Here, check this out.
87
00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:51,082
What's that?
88
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,916
It's a hundred percent
waterproof.
89
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:56,041
Yeah. But what is it?
90
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:57,625
It's a Bible.
91
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:05,333
โช The mist gathers grey
on moorland and brae
92
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:12,082
โช For me and my true love
will never meet again
93
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:17,625
โช By the bonny, bonny banks
of Loch Lomond
94
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:23,083
Oh.
95
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,583
My, oh my.
96
00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:31,833
What are you doing here?
97
00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:36,792
Searching.
98
00:16:48,792 --> 00:16:50,833
Do you really pray?
99
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,167
I do.
100
00:16:54,208 --> 00:16:58,000
Even on your own?
When nobody's looking?
101
00:17:02,875 --> 00:17:06,332
You'll be a swan
before you know it.
102
00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,166
So, I'm an ugly duckling now,
am I?
103
00:17:15,458 --> 00:17:20,333
Poor Dondo. He's having
a rough crossing, Saorsa.
104
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,792
Show him some kindness,
at least.
105
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:36,208
I'll be on my way now.
106
00:17:51,583 --> 00:17:55,666
- Hi.
- Hi.
107
00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:57,999
Who were you chatting with
there?
108
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,791
Oh, some top-level gnarlers.
109
00:18:00,792 --> 00:18:03,125
It was
cosmic alignment.
110
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,000
Where did the new minister go?
111
00:18:09,167 --> 00:18:13,749
- I think I frightened him off.
- Oh. Shame.
112
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:18,000
Well, you know
where to find him.
113
00:18:21,708 --> 00:18:24,083
Can you teach me to surf
one day?
114
00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:28,082
Whanganui. Yeah.
115
00:18:28,083 --> 00:18:29,542
Awesome.
116
00:19:30,958 --> 00:19:32,542
Hello?
117
00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:07,750
Shaka laka Zula.
118
00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:19,125
Dondo?
119
00:20:20,583 --> 00:20:23,500
What are you doing
up there?
120
00:20:24,333 --> 00:20:27,500
Just... looking about.
121
00:20:31,458 --> 00:20:32,875
Right.
122
00:20:34,625 --> 00:20:36,208
Can I walk you home?
123
00:20:38,875 --> 00:20:40,167
All right.
124
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:01,957
I saw your mum
the other day.
125
00:21:04,625 --> 00:21:07,082
- She is hot.
- What, my mum?
126
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:09,874
Yeah.
127
00:21:09,875 --> 00:21:11,750
Your mum is hot.
128
00:21:12,792 --> 00:21:14,208
Hello there, Dondo.
129
00:21:15,792 --> 00:21:19,666
It's very kind of you
to walk Sas home.
130
00:21:19,667 --> 00:21:21,291
Come in, Sassy.
131
00:21:21,292 --> 00:21:22,875
Come in, come in.
132
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:32,125
Will you come in for a tea?
133
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:34,916
No, I think I'll just...
134
00:21:34,917 --> 00:21:39,957
- Never mind. How's your mother?
- Fine, thanks.
135
00:21:39,958 --> 00:21:42,167
Good, good. Back to her pottery?
136
00:21:42,667 --> 00:21:43,874
She never stopped.
137
00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:47,250
And you, back to your surfing.
138
00:21:48,333 --> 00:21:50,541
You're not afraid of the sea?
139
00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:53,374
I'd be terribly afraid,
so I would.
140
00:21:53,375 --> 00:21:56,917
- Mum, he's got to go.
- And finally back to your exams?
141
00:21:57,792 --> 00:22:00,375
They'll be keeping you back
the year, I'd imagine.
142
00:22:01,667 --> 00:22:04,041
Grief can cause
such a disruption.
143
00:22:04,042 --> 00:22:05,166
Mum.
144
00:22:05,167 --> 00:22:07,333
You give your mother
my best wishes, now.
145
00:22:08,375 --> 00:22:13,417
Thanks, Mrs MacKenzie. Bye, Sas.
146
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:16,833
Oh, mind the sheep.
147
00:22:18,208 --> 00:22:22,499
The power of nonsense
between that poor boy's eyes.
148
00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:26,499
- I hope you can see it. Can you?
- See what?
149
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:30,749
He's not the one. Hm?
150
00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:32,667
- Stop.
- Aw.
151
00:22:39,750 --> 00:22:41,667
They're just pants.
152
00:22:42,875 --> 00:22:44,791
But they're Dad's.
153
00:22:44,792 --> 00:22:46,624
They're good pants.
154
00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:48,874
How would you feel
if you survived a shipwreck
155
00:22:48,875 --> 00:22:51,499
you come back to find someone
wearing your underwear?
156
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,458
I'd hate to see them
being thrown out.
157
00:23:02,875 --> 00:23:06,000
- Mum?
- Yes?
158
00:23:07,125 --> 00:23:08,708
What's church like?
159
00:23:11,458 --> 00:23:13,042
Why do you want to know?
160
00:23:14,125 --> 00:23:17,417
I might go on Sunday.
161
00:23:19,417 --> 00:23:21,207
Why?
162
00:23:21,208 --> 00:23:25,208
Just, you know,
see what it's all about.
163
00:23:26,250 --> 00:23:28,541
Which church? The old one
164
00:23:28,542 --> 00:23:30,917
- with the new minister in it?
- Aye.
165
00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:36,832
Well, the other one up the road
has heating, I've heard.
166
00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:39,791
Mum, they're just churches.
167
00:23:39,792 --> 00:23:41,792
Does it matter
which one I go to?
168
00:25:13,042 --> 00:25:15,042
Thank you, Noel.
Wonderful.
169
00:25:22,417 --> 00:25:23,542
Hi.
170
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:26,042
It's great to see you.
171
00:25:27,833 --> 00:25:32,332
Here we are.
Another glorious Sabbath,
172
00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:36,666
and a shipwrecked sailor
has washed upon our shores.
173
00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:38,167
Let us pray.
174
00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:49,792
Lord, hear our prayer for Willy.
175
00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:54,874
Willy, wherever you may be,
176
00:25:54,875 --> 00:25:58,708
our prayers are winging
their way to you.
177
00:26:00,417 --> 00:26:05,249
Out, beyond our knowing.
178
00:26:05,250 --> 00:26:11,292
Out, beyond the bounds
of eternity.
179
00:26:14,250 --> 00:26:18,625
Lord, please help Willy.
180
00:26:20,167 --> 00:26:22,832
Summon the creatures
of the ocean,
181
00:26:22,833 --> 00:26:25,957
to return him safely,
182
00:26:25,958 --> 00:26:29,250
on porpoise, by squid,
183
00:26:30,333 --> 00:26:34,832
stoat or narwhal.
184
00:26:34,833 --> 00:26:39,583
Willy, will ye come back,
Willy?
185
00:26:44,875 --> 00:26:50,874
Come back. Return. Amen.
186
00:26:50,875 --> 00:26:53,166
Amen.
187
00:26:53,167 --> 00:26:55,249
Dondo, please be seated.
188
00:26:55,250 --> 00:26:58,083
Off you go. There. Take a seat.
189
00:26:59,917 --> 00:27:03,125
There. There's a good lad.
190
00:27:06,042 --> 00:27:08,291
Forgive us, Lord,
for we know not what we do.
191
00:27:08,292 --> 00:27:10,499
- You know not what you do.
- Amen.
192
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:14,791
- Amen.
- Amen.
193
00:27:14,792 --> 00:27:17,166
- Thank you so much.
- That was beautiful.
194
00:27:17,167 --> 00:27:19,791
God bless.
Thank you so much for coming.
195
00:27:19,792 --> 00:27:22,124
- Wonderful to see you.
- Paddy.
196
00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:25,750
Norman.
197
00:27:27,042 --> 00:27:30,292
Norma.
198
00:27:32,542 --> 00:27:35,292
Sas.
199
00:27:35,875 --> 00:27:38,332
It is so good
to see the church alive again.
200
00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:40,957
So good, Paddy,
I cannot tell you.
201
00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:42,374
You're breathing life
back into us
202
00:27:42,375 --> 00:27:44,207
after the great sickness
has taken so much.
203
00:27:44,208 --> 00:27:46,208
Indeed, Norma.
204
00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:48,708
Sassy!
205
00:27:51,083 --> 00:27:52,957
Awesome gig, Paddy.
You nailed it.
206
00:27:52,958 --> 00:27:55,332
You're too kind.
Thank you Donny.
207
00:27:55,333 --> 00:27:59,249
How good
and how pleasant it is
208
00:27:59,250 --> 00:28:02,917
for brethren
to dwell together in unity.
209
00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:09,667
Tell me. I hear you surf
upon the waves?
210
00:28:10,542 --> 00:28:11,666
I do.
211
00:28:11,667 --> 00:28:13,666
Rongorongo.
212
00:28:13,667 --> 00:28:18,374
But not upon the Sabbath?
Not upon the holy day of rest?
213
00:28:18,375 --> 00:28:22,207
Er, no. Oh, no, never.
Never, no.
214
00:28:22,208 --> 00:28:25,249
Not even
if it's totally pumping.
215
00:28:25,250 --> 00:28:26,582
Yeah, no, no.
216
00:28:26,583 --> 00:28:30,625
Good. It is forbidden.
217
00:28:43,708 --> 00:28:45,417
It is forbidden.
218
00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:48,082
Hey, Don the grom.
219
00:28:48,083 --> 00:28:50,125
- Hi.
- Donny the grommy.
220
00:28:51,292 --> 00:28:55,041
- Hi.
- You're coming in?
221
00:28:55,042 --> 00:29:00,333
No. No.
Waves aren't, er, big enough.
222
00:29:04,750 --> 00:29:06,000
I think they're optimal.
223
00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:11,417
Don't go!
224
00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:13,582
Why?
225
00:29:13,583 --> 00:29:16,792
Today is the day of rest.
226
00:29:17,708 --> 00:29:20,917
- Who says?
- Er, God.
227
00:29:21,875 --> 00:29:23,250
God.
228
00:29:26,208 --> 00:29:27,958
Will I be struck by lightning?
229
00:29:30,125 --> 00:29:35,041
Erm, probably. There's
a pretty big chance of that.
230
00:29:35,042 --> 00:29:36,875
I'll take that chance.
231
00:29:42,792 --> 00:29:45,250
Solar System.
232
00:30:18,542 --> 00:30:20,792
Surfing on the Sabbath?
233
00:30:23,083 --> 00:30:24,667
Your blood will boil.
234
00:30:25,875 --> 00:30:29,542
Erm... I'm going
to spread the word.
235
00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:39,667
Why go to church
if you don't have to?
236
00:30:41,042 --> 00:30:42,167
Why not?
237
00:30:43,583 --> 00:30:45,625
Do you really believe
in God?
238
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,250
Sure. Don't you?
239
00:30:52,583 --> 00:30:53,792
Uh.
240
00:30:55,458 --> 00:30:57,167
I'm tempted.
241
00:31:01,833 --> 00:31:05,082
There are less crisps
in these new packets.
242
00:31:05,083 --> 00:31:07,791
Pumped with air
to make them look full, but...
243
00:31:07,792 --> 00:31:10,125
they are just full
of emptiness.
244
00:31:16,667 --> 00:31:22,791
Hm. Nothing.
There's nothing out there.
245
00:31:22,792 --> 00:31:26,957
Maybe He's testing you.
246
00:31:26,958 --> 00:31:28,667
Maybe.
247
00:31:31,208 --> 00:31:36,333
You know, maybe He is a She.
Maybe my God is a woman.
248
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:42,874
God... God doesn't have a sex.
249
00:31:42,875 --> 00:31:48,041
- What, like a ship?
- How like a ship?
250
00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:51,249
Well, a ship,
they're always women.
251
00:31:51,250 --> 00:31:55,124
All that sail in her,
she's seaworthy.
252
00:31:55,125 --> 00:31:57,250
She sank without a trace.
253
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,417
Aye. Sorry.
254
00:32:04,042 --> 00:32:07,208
My point was that we all know
ships don't have a vagina.
255
00:32:13,292 --> 00:32:15,875
Do you think God has a penis?
256
00:32:17,542 --> 00:32:23,667
What? No. No.
Sas, I never think about that.
257
00:32:24,375 --> 00:32:28,333
Well. You have now.
258
00:32:38,792 --> 00:32:41,624
And, Lord, help us
resist the dreadful darkness
259
00:32:41,625 --> 00:32:43,291
falling upon the land.
260
00:32:43,292 --> 00:32:47,957
And fortify us against
the next scourge. Amen.
261
00:32:47,958 --> 00:32:50,292
- Amen.
- Amen.
262
00:32:55,167 --> 00:32:58,958
Hm.
263
00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:03,042
Will you be wearing that
to evening prayers?
264
00:33:03,917 --> 00:33:06,207
The new minister suffers
from terrible migraines,
265
00:33:06,208 --> 00:33:07,667
you know?
266
00:33:08,458 --> 00:33:10,792
Prayers? I've got feeding to do.
267
00:33:12,417 --> 00:33:15,125
The old minister
had migraines too, you know?
268
00:33:16,917 --> 00:33:19,417
An answer to the question
will suffice.
269
00:33:20,792 --> 00:33:23,833
I think I'll stay behind
and study for my exam.
270
00:33:25,042 --> 00:33:27,957
Of course.
Oh, my, it'll be so good
271
00:33:27,958 --> 00:33:30,582
to have a doctor in the family.
272
00:33:30,583 --> 00:33:35,000
A vet would be far more useful
in this household. Hmm.
273
00:33:48,458 --> 00:33:50,125
O Lord,
274
00:33:51,042 --> 00:33:56,624
for what we are about...
to receive,
275
00:33:56,625 --> 00:34:02,042
may the Lord make us
truly, truly thankful.
276
00:34:02,792 --> 00:34:04,042
Amen!
277
00:34:19,083 --> 00:34:24,958
What do you think about having
a memorial service for Dad?
278
00:34:26,292 --> 00:34:29,082
You know, something
where everyone gathers
279
00:34:29,083 --> 00:34:31,541
to pay their respects
and say goodbye.
280
00:34:31,542 --> 00:34:36,207
Desert island survivors.
They do exist.
281
00:34:36,208 --> 00:34:38,082
Mum, people can live
off coconuts
282
00:34:38,083 --> 00:34:39,957
for a very long time.
283
00:34:39,958 --> 00:34:44,332
I mean, ages. Forever, probably.
284
00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:47,624
Where is the nearest island
with a good supply of coconuts?
285
00:34:47,625 --> 00:34:48,957
Tenerife.
286
00:34:48,958 --> 00:34:54,166
So, Dad has just
been hanging out in Tenerife?
287
00:34:54,167 --> 00:34:55,833
Or Lanzarote.
288
00:34:58,042 --> 00:34:59,417
Eat your soup.
289
00:35:05,875 --> 00:35:07,000
Shouldn't it be drink?
290
00:35:08,333 --> 00:35:10,042
You don't drink soup.
291
00:35:11,292 --> 00:35:12,833
You don't eat liquid.
292
00:35:14,042 --> 00:35:18,833
Right you are, Dondo.
Right you are.
293
00:35:38,375 --> 00:35:40,167
God.
294
00:35:43,333 --> 00:35:45,625
If You can hear me...
295
00:35:51,667 --> 00:35:53,792
...show me some kind of sign.
296
00:35:58,875 --> 00:36:04,000
Then I might actually
even consider believing in You.
297
00:36:09,542 --> 00:36:10,875
Deal?
298
00:36:11,667 --> 00:36:13,125
Deal.
299
00:36:21,333 --> 00:36:24,292
Oh, it's you.
300
00:36:25,292 --> 00:36:27,958
Yes, it's me. Hi.
301
00:36:28,625 --> 00:36:31,916
Look, I'm not gonna ask you out,
OK?
302
00:36:31,917 --> 00:36:33,708
But I've been thinking about ya.
303
00:36:34,708 --> 00:36:36,874
I can't stop thinking
about ya, and I...
304
00:36:36,875 --> 00:36:39,541
I probably think about you
a bit too much, to be honest.
305
00:36:39,542 --> 00:36:41,582
I thought it was only right
306
00:36:41,583 --> 00:36:45,542
that I ask you before I...
think about you again.
307
00:36:46,792 --> 00:36:48,375
What?
308
00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:52,457
Well, I just thought
I'd be polite.
309
00:36:52,458 --> 00:36:53,791
Do you want my permission
310
00:36:53,792 --> 00:36:56,042
so you can think about me
when you wank?
311
00:36:57,208 --> 00:36:58,624
Yes, please.
312
00:36:58,625 --> 00:37:00,417
Fuck off!
313
00:37:02,375 --> 00:37:07,125
Come on, Sas.
314
00:37:13,958 --> 00:37:15,792
Only if I can watch.
315
00:37:18,708 --> 00:37:22,124
Ooh.
316
00:37:24,792 --> 00:37:26,291
Begin.
317
00:37:37,167 --> 00:37:38,958
So, where are your folks?
318
00:37:39,917 --> 00:37:41,042
Church.
319
00:37:43,250 --> 00:37:46,958
- Say something.
- Like what?
320
00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:49,000
Just anything.
321
00:37:51,375 --> 00:37:52,625
OK.
322
00:37:55,833 --> 00:37:58,291
Of the two million sperm
that reach the cervix,
323
00:37:58,292 --> 00:38:01,249
the vast majority are lost
somewhere along the way
324
00:38:01,250 --> 00:38:03,207
in places
called vaginal crypts.
325
00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:05,166
Ultimately, it is the egg
326
00:38:05,167 --> 00:38:07,041
that chooses a single sperm.
327
00:38:07,042 --> 00:38:09,624
And that is the process
we call fertilisation.
328
00:38:09,625 --> 00:38:12,458
Fuck, yeah.
329
00:38:17,375 --> 00:38:18,792
Sassy!
330
00:38:22,375 --> 00:38:25,291
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, go on!
331
00:38:25,292 --> 00:38:27,582
- Sorry.
- What did we just witness?
332
00:38:27,583 --> 00:38:30,374
- Go on, get out!
- Biology.
333
00:38:30,375 --> 00:38:32,916
Go on! Go on!
You young toad!
334
00:38:32,917 --> 00:38:35,749
Get inside now!
Away from that stone.
335
00:38:35,750 --> 00:38:39,249
Oh, Mum, we, we were revising.
336
00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:41,499
The only reason
you want to be a doctor
337
00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:44,208
is to get to look
at boys' bits and bobs.
338
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,249
The wind
bloweth where it listeth,
339
00:38:48,250 --> 00:38:51,249
and all you hear
is the sound thereof,
340
00:38:51,250 --> 00:38:53,667
but canst not tell
whence it cometh...
341
00:39:19,833 --> 00:39:21,458
Planet Earth.
342
00:39:23,250 --> 00:39:25,667
Solar System.
343
00:39:27,125 --> 00:39:28,999
Milky Way.
344
00:39:58,583 --> 00:39:59,625
Whanganui.
345
00:40:02,792 --> 00:40:05,249
- You surf?
- No.
346
00:40:05,250 --> 00:40:09,041
- You'd be good.
- How can you tell?
347
00:40:09,042 --> 00:40:14,833
You're not afraid of danger.
You should be, but you're not.
348
00:40:17,542 --> 00:40:20,500
Who says I should be afraid?
349
00:40:22,250 --> 00:40:23,583
That.
350
00:40:26,167 --> 00:40:28,292
The men in the grey suits.
351
00:40:42,250 --> 00:40:45,792
Up! Come on.
You'll miss the bus.
352
00:40:57,917 --> 00:41:02,999
Oahu, Kawaii,
Rongorongo, Whanganui,
353
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,832
Kiribati, Teahupo'o, Rongorongo.
354
00:41:05,833 --> 00:41:09,083
- What you praying for?
- Hm.
355
00:41:10,125 --> 00:41:11,582
Good exam results.
356
00:41:11,583 --> 00:41:13,874
Bit late
for that, surf bum.
357
00:41:13,875 --> 00:41:17,167
I was praying
for your exam results. Not mine.
358
00:41:22,083 --> 00:41:26,124
- Did you ask Him yet?
- What?
359
00:41:26,125 --> 00:41:30,250
If He has... a penis.
360
00:41:31,667 --> 00:41:34,291
No, er, I was praying
to another god.
361
00:41:34,292 --> 00:41:36,250
A goddess, actually.
362
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,874
Well, I'd save those prayers
for your own results, not mine.
363
00:41:44,875 --> 00:41:49,750
I don't need them.
I already have a path to follow.
364
00:41:50,958 --> 00:41:52,624
Of course.
365
00:41:52,625 --> 00:41:56,250
You're suddenly a fully
signed-up member of the flock.
366
00:42:40,833 --> 00:42:42,707
Hey!
367
00:42:42,708 --> 00:42:44,958
Stop tapping.
368
00:42:55,208 --> 00:42:56,375
Baa.
369
00:43:06,625 --> 00:43:08,125
What are you...?
370
00:43:10,042 --> 00:43:13,250
God does not have a penis!
371
00:43:55,792 --> 00:43:57,541
Are you ready?
372
00:43:57,542 --> 00:43:58,666
- Ready?
- Yeah.
373
00:43:58,667 --> 00:44:03,707
- All right. Go on, then. Go on.
- Dondo.
374
00:44:04,833 --> 00:44:07,041
That's it.
Right, you got it going. Right.
375
00:44:07,042 --> 00:44:09,458
Right, what we're gonna do...
You're gonna watch it...
376
00:44:10,458 --> 00:44:13,458
Whoa!
377
00:44:16,792 --> 00:44:20,916
You're soaking.
378
00:44:37,542 --> 00:44:39,208
Hmm.
379
00:46:15,750 --> 00:46:21,667
- Hm.
- Hi. Thanks.
380
00:46:26,792 --> 00:46:28,000
What's that?
381
00:46:30,542 --> 00:46:32,667
It's a wee thing for Willy.
382
00:46:37,250 --> 00:46:38,833
Do you miss Willy?
383
00:46:41,792 --> 00:46:43,500
Yes, of course.
384
00:46:46,042 --> 00:46:50,542
What do you miss most?
385
00:46:56,792 --> 00:47:00,457
I'm going to do
a memorial service for him.
386
00:47:00,458 --> 00:47:01,958
You should come.
387
00:47:04,042 --> 00:47:06,583
For his dad.
I think it would help him.
388
00:47:36,708 --> 00:47:38,167
Dondo.
389
00:47:48,667 --> 00:47:49,750
Dondo.
390
00:48:04,583 --> 00:48:07,417
Hi. How are you doing?
391
00:48:10,167 --> 00:48:12,249
Are you Jesus?
392
00:48:12,250 --> 00:48:14,208
Yes, I am.
393
00:48:18,875 --> 00:48:20,041
Are you American?
394
00:48:20,042 --> 00:48:24,458
Oh, no, I'm Swiss. But I learned
American at a young age.
395
00:48:26,833 --> 00:48:30,125
So cute, ain't he?
396
00:48:33,250 --> 00:48:37,083
- Can you speak Swiss?
- Nobody can speak Swiss!
397
00:48:38,125 --> 00:48:42,416
- Why not?
- Dondo.
398
00:48:42,417 --> 00:48:44,417
He's out there, Dondo.
399
00:49:29,750 --> 00:49:33,541
- To present the prizes today...
- Hello, hello, children. Hello.
400
00:49:33,542 --> 00:49:38,375
It's OK, I'm here.
OK. Let us pray.
401
00:49:44,875 --> 00:49:50,500
We also once lived
in the lusts of our flesh.
402
00:49:52,083 --> 00:49:56,958
We were, by nature,
children of wrath.
403
00:49:58,292 --> 00:50:03,292
But God, being rich in mercy...
404
00:50:05,875 --> 00:50:11,041
...He loved us. Amen.
405
00:50:11,042 --> 00:50:13,917
- Amen.
- Amen.
406
00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:22,458
Oh, the prizes.
The prizes, the prizes.
407
00:50:23,292 --> 00:50:25,041
Oh, my gosh.
408
00:50:25,042 --> 00:50:28,874
- Sas. Sas.
- Hm.
409
00:50:28,875 --> 00:50:32,917
Sas. Sas.
410
00:50:43,292 --> 00:50:45,582
Where are your fucking shoes?
411
00:50:45,583 --> 00:50:50,082
- Oh. Er...
- My God.
412
00:50:53,667 --> 00:50:55,875
Present
the final prize, Paddy.
413
00:50:57,375 --> 00:51:01,792
The overall prize, this year...
414
00:51:05,125 --> 00:51:09,582
...for giving it their all...
for sheer graft,
415
00:51:09,583 --> 00:51:12,624
and I must say, my own
personal favourite member
416
00:51:12,625 --> 00:51:14,958
of the church...
417
00:51:15,458 --> 00:51:20,417
Let's just call it grit.
The grit prize goes to...
418
00:51:21,833 --> 00:51:24,416
- Dondo Mackay!
- Dondo?
419
00:51:24,417 --> 00:51:26,499
- Donnie boy!
- Me?
420
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:29,583
Yes! You!
Come on, up you come.
421
00:51:30,917 --> 00:51:32,249
He's been out in the wilderness.
422
00:51:32,250 --> 00:51:33,916
Yes, Dondo.
423
00:51:33,917 --> 00:51:38,958
You've had a rough year,
but now the stars are shining.
424
00:51:40,250 --> 00:51:41,917
Whanganui.
425
00:51:43,167 --> 00:51:44,499
I am stoked.
426
00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:47,125
Go on, laddie, give a few words.
427
00:51:49,667 --> 00:51:53,583
Thank you. Thank you.
428
00:51:55,542 --> 00:51:59,874
I'd like to dedicate this to,
erm, my dad.
429
00:51:59,875 --> 00:52:03,416
He's still out there somewhere.
430
00:52:03,417 --> 00:52:05,708
He still lives.
431
00:52:15,833 --> 00:52:21,375
And another thing I know
is that he is still alive.
432
00:52:22,333 --> 00:52:26,125
And he's coming back.
He's on his way!
433
00:52:26,833 --> 00:52:28,207
I'm gonna bring him back!
434
00:52:28,208 --> 00:52:30,999
- Yes, you are, Dondo!
- Sit down, Kenny.
435
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:32,624
He...
436
00:52:32,625 --> 00:52:35,541
And now, our head girl
will give a short summing up
437
00:52:35,542 --> 00:52:37,167
of the year's highs and lows.
438
00:52:48,250 --> 00:52:50,417
I only have a question.
439
00:52:51,250 --> 00:52:56,166
Just one question
for our beloved reverend here.
440
00:52:56,167 --> 00:52:57,499
Stick to the speech.
441
00:52:57,500 --> 00:53:01,457
- It's a theological question.
- Oh. Wonderful.
442
00:53:01,458 --> 00:53:04,750
Yeah. Dondo and I
have discussed it.
443
00:53:05,542 --> 00:53:06,707
Don't.
444
00:53:06,708 --> 00:53:08,500
In depth.
445
00:53:16,792 --> 00:53:20,708
Does God have a penis?
446
00:53:23,417 --> 00:53:25,999
Big stiffies for Jesus?
447
00:53:31,042 --> 00:53:35,125
Satan's whore.
448
00:54:20,708 --> 00:54:25,374
Rongorongo, Kiribati, Teahupo'o,
449
00:54:25,375 --> 00:54:28,416
Rongorongo, Whanganui, Kiribati,
450
00:54:28,417 --> 00:54:32,208
Uluwatu, Kiribati, Teahupo'o.
451
00:55:01,167 --> 00:55:03,042
Are you coming in?
452
00:55:07,208 --> 00:55:08,624
Cheer up.
453
00:55:08,625 --> 00:55:12,749
Soon you're gonna be shagging
human rights lawyers
454
00:55:12,750 --> 00:55:15,249
in ski chalets.
455
00:55:15,250 --> 00:55:20,250
And I'll still be here,
up the duff, married to a man.
456
00:55:23,417 --> 00:55:25,249
I mean,
what difference does it make?
457
00:55:25,250 --> 00:55:26,874
We'll be fat and have bad sex.
458
00:55:26,875 --> 00:55:31,375
Paddy, spunking over
your mum's washing.
459
00:55:32,417 --> 00:55:33,708
Oh, I'm gonna come.
460
00:55:38,667 --> 00:55:41,666
Bless this meal
461
00:55:41,667 --> 00:55:45,292
and the, the, the animals
and the vegetables...
462
00:55:46,208 --> 00:55:48,874
...that have been summoned forth
463
00:55:48,875 --> 00:55:52,875
to be eaten by our mouths.
464
00:56:00,167 --> 00:56:02,042
It's OK, Donnie.
465
00:56:10,125 --> 00:56:11,625
Amen?
466
00:56:14,167 --> 00:56:15,292
Amen.
467
00:56:20,833 --> 00:56:25,416
So, I've organised
a memorial for tomorrow.
468
00:56:25,417 --> 00:56:27,374
Oh, really?
469
00:56:27,375 --> 00:56:29,249
Yes. And you're coming.
470
00:56:29,250 --> 00:56:32,666
Well, I'm actually going off
to find Dad,
471
00:56:32,667 --> 00:56:34,707
so you can cancel the memorial.
472
00:56:34,708 --> 00:56:38,082
We are doing a memorial
tomorrow! End of story!
473
00:56:38,083 --> 00:56:41,042
- Don't you bloody dare!
- Rongorongo.
474
00:56:58,792 --> 00:56:59,875
Dondo.
475
00:57:04,833 --> 00:57:06,750
He's out there, Dondo.
476
00:57:09,875 --> 00:57:11,333
Do you hear me?
477
00:57:12,250 --> 00:57:13,875
Yes, Jesus.
478
00:57:49,125 --> 00:57:50,833
You're not going to find him.
479
00:57:54,208 --> 00:57:55,625
How do you know?
480
00:58:03,542 --> 00:58:05,125
What's wrong?
481
00:58:12,833 --> 00:58:15,208
I don't wanna go
to Sexfordshire.
482
00:58:21,708 --> 00:58:23,208
I don't wanna stay here either.
483
00:58:26,875 --> 00:58:29,250
I don't know what I want to do.
484
00:58:33,292 --> 00:58:35,083
Help me find my dad, then.
485
01:00:17,042 --> 01:00:19,042
Whoo!
486
01:00:58,500 --> 01:01:00,417
Your dad's not here.
487
01:01:05,667 --> 01:01:06,917
Hm.
488
01:01:35,583 --> 01:01:37,000
Who's that?
489
01:01:39,292 --> 01:01:41,750
Oh, I... I found it
in the church.
490
01:01:43,167 --> 01:01:47,957
Nice tits.
Who is she?
491
01:01:47,958 --> 01:01:50,083
Dunno.
492
01:01:52,625 --> 01:01:55,292
Norma.
That's my mum's name.
493
01:02:00,208 --> 01:02:03,541
Er, she does
kind of look like you.
494
01:02:03,542 --> 01:02:09,624
It is my mum.
Where did you find it?
495
01:02:09,625 --> 01:02:12,833
Er, it was up in the pulpit,
inside the Bible.
496
01:02:23,208 --> 01:02:27,957
Did you ever... you know?
497
01:02:27,958 --> 01:02:31,541
Well...
Never directly, like, but...
498
01:02:31,542 --> 01:02:33,457
Don't tell me.
499
01:02:33,458 --> 01:02:36,417
Look, I only kept it
because she looked like you.
500
01:02:38,417 --> 01:02:39,750
What?
501
01:02:41,583 --> 01:02:45,250
Beautiful. Like you.
502
01:02:48,917 --> 01:02:53,291
- But it was my mum, Dondo.
- Yeah, but I didn't know that.
503
01:02:53,292 --> 01:02:55,166
Look, surely better
that it was her
504
01:02:55,167 --> 01:02:57,792
and not someone
completely unrelated?
505
01:02:58,708 --> 01:03:00,125
Thanks, I guess.
506
01:03:01,125 --> 01:03:02,625
Better and worse.
507
01:03:45,958 --> 01:03:47,333
Let's head home.
508
01:06:16,792 --> 01:06:19,999
How was Tenerife?
509
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:22,208
Come here.
It's all right.
510
01:06:50,208 --> 01:06:53,667
We are gathered here today
511
01:06:54,500 --> 01:06:56,999
in the presence of God
512
01:06:57,000 --> 01:07:00,374
to honour the memory
of a fine man.
513
01:07:00,375 --> 01:07:02,832
A wonderful man.
514
01:07:02,833 --> 01:07:07,417
Willy Mackay. Willy.
515
01:07:09,292 --> 01:07:13,291
We prayed for his return.
516
01:07:13,292 --> 01:07:16,124
We prayed
and prayed and prayed.
517
01:07:16,125 --> 01:07:20,624
- But nothing came of it.
- Handsome devil, isn't he?
518
01:07:20,625 --> 01:07:26,250
Days became weeks.
Weeks became months.
519
01:07:26,833 --> 01:07:30,792
And now a year has passed
with no return.
520
01:07:34,375 --> 01:07:40,083
The waves have stolen Willy
from us.
521
01:07:41,500 --> 01:07:44,000
And now we must accept...
522
01:07:46,042 --> 01:07:48,500
...his watery grave.
523
01:07:50,333 --> 01:07:52,625
We will now hear from Dondo.
524
01:07:54,167 --> 01:07:55,958
It's all right. Come on.
Come with me.
525
01:08:04,750 --> 01:08:07,291
I want you to read a little bit,
come on.
526
01:08:07,292 --> 01:08:12,042
It's all right. Come on, boy.
527
01:08:21,417 --> 01:08:24,582
What I want you to do
is just read it out
528
01:08:24,583 --> 01:08:26,832
from page 23, all right?
529
01:08:26,833 --> 01:08:28,625
Is that OK?
530
01:08:31,833 --> 01:08:34,958
"Those who go down
to the sea..."
531
01:08:37,917 --> 01:08:41,500
"Who do business
on great waters..."
532
01:08:42,542 --> 01:08:46,250
"They see the works of the Lord,
and His wonders in the deep."
533
01:08:48,333 --> 01:08:50,666
"For He commands
and raises the stormy sea..."
534
01:09:13,583 --> 01:09:16,457
Are you all right,
Donnie? Go on, carry on.
535
01:09:16,458 --> 01:09:18,583
You'll be all right. Go on.
536
01:09:21,333 --> 01:09:23,832
"They mount
up to the heavens."
537
01:09:23,833 --> 01:09:26,666
"And they go down again
to the depths."
538
01:09:26,667 --> 01:09:30,457
"Their soul melts
because of trouble."
539
01:09:30,458 --> 01:09:33,250
The men
in the grey suits!
540
01:09:35,958 --> 01:09:40,332
"They reel to and fro
and stagger like a drunken man,
541
01:09:40,333 --> 01:09:42,374
and are at their wits' end."
542
01:09:42,375 --> 01:09:45,917
He still lives.
543
01:09:53,042 --> 01:09:55,250
Donnie.
544
01:10:05,708 --> 01:10:09,999
"Then, then they cry out
to the Lord in their trouble..."
545
01:10:12,750 --> 01:10:15,291
"And He picks them out
of their distresses."
546
01:10:15,292 --> 01:10:19,374
Hey, man. Tell them.
He still lives.
547
01:10:19,375 --> 01:10:22,749
No!
548
01:10:22,750 --> 01:10:24,250
Please.
549
01:10:25,042 --> 01:10:28,749
Donnie.
550
01:10:28,750 --> 01:10:30,958
- What's the matter?
- Please.
551
01:10:32,333 --> 01:10:37,874
I must go to them.
552
01:10:46,792 --> 01:10:52,499
Poor boy. Out there
in the roaring forties.
553
01:10:52,500 --> 01:10:54,083
Come on!
554
01:10:56,625 --> 01:10:58,124
We must follow him.
555
01:10:58,125 --> 01:11:00,541
Come on!
Get your coats.
556
01:11:00,542 --> 01:11:02,416
We'll go together.
557
01:11:02,417 --> 01:11:07,083
Come on!
558
01:11:49,542 --> 01:11:51,832
Don't surf on the Sabbath!
559
01:11:51,833 --> 01:11:53,958
Don't surf! You must leave!
560
01:12:39,417 --> 01:12:42,582
For we must all appear before
the judgement seat of Christ.
561
01:12:42,583 --> 01:12:44,457
And pay attention to our deeds.
562
01:12:44,458 --> 01:12:46,833
Or thy shall surely
be put to death.
563
01:12:47,792 --> 01:12:49,875
Leave the seas!
564
01:12:55,125 --> 01:13:00,458
Go!
For Christ's sake, go! Go! Go!
565
01:13:01,417 --> 01:13:03,124
Leave me, leave!
566
01:13:03,125 --> 01:13:06,999
- Dondo!
- Leave here!
567
01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:10,916
It's only meant to be me!
568
01:13:10,917 --> 01:13:12,416
Here for the judgement's day.
569
01:13:12,417 --> 01:13:14,832
Respect his grave.
570
01:13:32,708 --> 01:13:35,500
We were, by nature...
571
01:13:36,375 --> 01:13:38,083
...children of wrath.
572
01:13:39,542 --> 01:13:45,042
Doing the desires of the flesh,
and of the mind.
573
01:13:48,500 --> 01:13:51,832
We were, by nature...
574
01:13:51,833 --> 01:13:53,542
...children of wrath.
575
01:13:55,708 --> 01:14:00,458
But God, being rich in mercy...
576
01:14:03,375 --> 01:14:04,582
...He loved us.
577
01:14:04,583 --> 01:14:06,541
He must return!
578
01:14:06,542 --> 01:14:08,166
Leave the seas!
579
01:14:08,167 --> 01:14:09,792
Donnie, hold it!
580
01:14:13,083 --> 01:14:14,167
Hold it, Donnie!
581
01:14:41,167 --> 01:14:44,125
- Put the knife down, Donnie.
- The wages of sin is death!
582
01:14:44,625 --> 01:14:45,624
Go on!
583
01:14:58,500 --> 01:15:00,583
Dondo!
584
01:16:28,125 --> 01:16:29,958
He's been taken.
585
01:17:09,333 --> 01:17:12,542
Sas.
586
01:17:13,250 --> 01:17:15,417
- He's been taken.
- No.
587
01:17:16,625 --> 01:17:18,208
He can't have gone that far.
588
01:17:20,417 --> 01:17:22,042
He's been taken.
589
01:17:36,833 --> 01:17:38,125
Fire?
590
01:17:38,833 --> 01:17:40,250
Fire!
591
01:17:42,042 --> 01:17:45,458
- Hey. Come on!
- The church! The church!
592
01:18:14,917 --> 01:18:16,500
Dondo!
593
01:18:20,375 --> 01:18:23,917
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, fuck.
594
01:18:24,875 --> 01:18:29,957
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Dondo. Dondo! Oh, my God.
595
01:18:33,583 --> 01:18:36,124
Come on, Dondo.
596
01:18:40,625 --> 01:18:44,957
Come on, Dondo. Come on.
Come on, Dondo. Come on.
597
01:18:47,375 --> 01:18:51,166
...three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine...
598
01:18:54,375 --> 01:18:56,707
Wake up, Dondo.
Come on.
599
01:18:56,708 --> 01:18:59,417
No way, not now. Not now.
600
01:19:12,542 --> 01:19:18,416
Oh, my God.
You're OK. You're OK.
601
01:19:18,417 --> 01:19:24,332
Oh. Oh, my God.
OK. You're OK. You're OK.
602
01:19:33,125 --> 01:19:35,541
You're OK.
You're OK. You're OK.
603
01:19:43,333 --> 01:19:45,917
You're OK.
604
01:21:25,417 --> 01:21:29,833
So,
where are you gonna go now?
605
01:21:30,792 --> 01:21:32,458
I don't know.
606
01:21:35,167 --> 01:21:39,167
Somewhere... out there.
607
01:21:45,583 --> 01:21:50,083
Thanks for saving my life,
by the way.
608
01:21:52,583 --> 01:21:54,125
It was nothing.
609
01:24:15,542 --> 01:24:19,708
โช Let it go, let it go down
610
01:24:20,792 --> 01:24:25,708
โช It's OK
611
01:24:28,375 --> 01:24:32,666
โช Let it come, let it take all
612
01:24:32,667 --> 01:24:37,417
โช Thoughts away
613
01:25:06,250 --> 01:25:11,374
โช Let it go, let it go down
614
01:25:11,375 --> 01:25:15,750
โช It's OK
615
01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:24,082
โช Let it come, let it take all
616
01:25:24,083 --> 01:25:28,333
โช Thoughts away
41494
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