All language subtitles for Fresh Off the Boat (2015) - S06E10 - Jessica Town (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)_Track03

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,442 --> 00:00:14,623 ♪ It's the most wonderful time of the year ♪ 2 00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,625 ♪ With the kids jingle belling 3 00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:22,283 ♪ And everyone telling you "Be of good cheer" ♪ 4 00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:23,719 Together:Good evening, Mayor! 5 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:24,937 Hello, boys! 6 00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,983 You look dashing in your top hats. 7 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,811 Check your trouser flap,young man. 8 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:33,207 I was wide open, guys. Thanks. 9 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:39,256 ♪ It's the hap-happiest season of all ♪ 10 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,866 You're looking well, Mayor. 11 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,085 Thank you, butcher. 12 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,304 Care for some ham? 13 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:44,783 No ham for me. 14 00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,742 I'm already full with joy. 15 00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,353 Beautiful wreath, you two! 16 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,703 Much less tacky than last year. 17 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:53,314 We're learning. 18 00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:55,185 It's a Douglas fir. 19 00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:56,360 Uhp! 20 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,537 You missed some trash, waste gatherers. 21 00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:00,799 Yes, Mayor. 22 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,497 This bag is very wet. 23 00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,455 ♪ There'll be scary ghost stories ♪ 24 00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:06,370 ♪ And tales of the glories 25 00:01:06,414 --> 00:01:11,549 ♪ Of Christmases long, long ago ♪ 26 00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:12,811 Ho ho ho, Mayor Jessica. 27 00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,552 Heard you were building us a new library. 28 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,989 You heard right, Lao Ban Santa. 29 00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:20,254 ♪ There'll be much mistletoeing ♪ 30 00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:21,994 ♪ And hearts will be glowing 31 00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:25,128 ♪ When loved ones are near 32 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,914 ♪ It's the most wonderful time 33 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:32,962 ♪ Of the yeeeeeeeear 34 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,529 Louis: Uh, Jessica? 35 00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:38,185 Well, look who decided to finally roll out of bed. 36 00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:39,751 It's 5:00 in the morning. 37 00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:41,362 The day after Thanksgiving. 38 00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:44,060 I'm still more turkey than man. Can this wait until later? 39 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,150 No. Jessica Town is in full swing. 40 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:49,196 The Christmas season has officially begun, 41 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:50,806 and there's no time to waste. 42 00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:54,375 Eddie, your pajama flap is open. 43 00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:56,246 I know. 44 00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:58,335 --Captions by VITAC-- 45 00:01:58,379 --> 00:01:59,728 ♪ Fresh off the boat 46 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,425 ♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪ 47 00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,601 ♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪ 48 00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,037 ♪ Fresh off the boat 49 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:07,301 ♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪ 50 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:08,650 ♪ But I know where I'm goin' 51 00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,217 ♪ I'm fresh off the boat 52 00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:13,307 Mmm. 53 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,873 Thanksgiving leftovers are the best. 54 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,528 You guys should have tasted my pancakes with turkey gravy. 55 00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:20,096 Why would -- He's a human sewer. 56 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:24,405 Ooh. Our community parkis building an ice rinkfor the holidays. 57 00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:27,364 Ice skating in Florida --what an era. 58 00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:28,539 We should go together. 59 00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,411 We haven't gonesince the boys were born. 60 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:32,674 Louis, it's 1999. 61 00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:35,198 It's the last Christmas of the century -- 62 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,113 no, the millennium. 63 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,202 It has to be perfect. 64 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:42,640 I'm marking the occasion with a stunning monument -- 65 00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:45,252 a life-size gingerbread house on our lawn. 66 00:02:45,295 --> 00:02:47,036 Take a look at my prototype. 67 00:02:48,385 --> 00:02:51,606 Behold the flawless candy-cane gutters. 68 00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:54,565 Although, they'll be a bitch to clean once the leaves fall. 69 00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:57,568 Jessica, instead of addingto your list of holiday tasks, 70 00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,048 you should be subtracting. 71 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,224 We lose you forthe whole month of December. 72 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,444 Well, people expect a lot from me at Christmas. 73 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,576 My cards, my caroling solos, 74 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,883 the boys with their unique Christmas requests. 75 00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:10,451 Hey, boys, what do you wantfor Christmas this year? 76 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:11,452 Together: Gift card. 77 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:12,453 See? 78 00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,063 It gets simpler nowthat they're getting older. 79 00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:15,673 Let's go skating. 80 00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,066 What if I get hurt on the ice? 81 00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,634 What if somebody slams into me, breaking my bones? 82 00:03:19,677 --> 00:03:21,462 Come on. Your skeleton?Strong. 83 00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,246 Can't risk it. Who would do all my work? 84 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,379 The holiday perfection I've become famous for 85 00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:26,380 would be ruined. 86 00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:27,729 Oh, I got to run. 87 00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,121 Tinsel goes on sale today, 88 00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:32,212 and I refuse to buy any that's already been touched. 89 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:36,868 Oh, no.Look at that huge bear. 90 00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:39,131 Quick! Drop the salmon and -- 91 00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:40,481 Ugh. Read me in again. 92 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:41,525 Ugh. 93 00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:42,874 Evan, go from your line about the river. 94 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:45,877 Stop whining. Emery needs our help. 95 00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,096 Thanks, Grandma. 96 00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:48,315 Let's go findsomewhere else to rehearse. 97 00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:52,101 It should always be about the family. 98 00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:55,496 Just like in this play, "Wyoming Family." 99 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,414 Way to tank those linesso we could get out of this. 100 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,850 Smart. 101 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,721 Going through the motions. That's my thing. 102 00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:05,636 Hey, guys. 103 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,509 Do you mind hiding my Christmas gift for Marvin? 104 00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:10,554 All he does is snoop for presents, 105 00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:11,729 and I'd feel better if I kept it here. 106 00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:14,950 Sure, Honey. What'd you get him? 107 00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:19,389 It's...a maritime nutcracker. 108 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,870 It combines his three favorite things -- 109 00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,350 snacks, the Navy, and wood. 110 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:24,960 I'll be back later to wrap it. 111 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,527 Thank you. 112 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,355 There's no way this dude can crack a nut. 113 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:31,358 You'd be surprised by the amountof force a lever can generate. 114 00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:32,402 It's physics. 115 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:33,751 Nerd, please. 116 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,579 Are you doubting me? 117 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,189 Take this pistachio. 118 00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,803 See? Formidable --like Mom's skeleton. 119 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:44,936 Now, let's add a lever to the equation. 120 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,463 Awesome. 121 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:50,725 Levers. 122 00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,379 Let's go bigger. 123 00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:55,164 Now you're talking.There's no stoppin' us now. 124 00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,123 We pushed him too far. 125 00:04:58,167 --> 00:04:59,386 It was the jawbreaker. 126 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:01,213 It says itright in the damn name. 127 00:05:01,257 --> 00:05:02,606 Relax, bro. 128 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:03,912 We'll replace it before Honey finds out. 129 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,000 How much could it cost? 130 00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:09,221 "Handmade in Germanyby real Germans." 131 00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:11,398 It's $400! 132 00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:13,791 Why does Germany always have to go over the top? 133 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,622 Are those my Christmas cards? 134 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:19,928 Emery: Dad did them for you. 135 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:22,147 He seemed happy to use the rest of his tuba stamps. 136 00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,846 Went on a big rant about postagegoing up again next year. 137 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:27,501 Tubas don'trepresent Christmas. 138 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:31,243 And he scribbled the addresses. 139 00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:33,550 Where's the elegant calligraphy? 140 00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:36,597 Stupid tuba hippo. 141 00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:45,954 What in the name of Lao Ban? 142 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,043 Hey! What are you guys going? 143 00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:50,219 We decided to change things up. 144 00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:52,830 Yeah. The butcher gave us the idea.Mm-hmm. 145 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,399 How about this sassy brass? 146 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,884 I'm out of cash. 147 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:05,452 I spent it on Tina's gift --a brown weave belt. 148 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,584 The whole thing is belt holes. 149 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:08,759 How 'bout you? 150 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,065 I've got nothing. 151 00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:12,197 All my extra money is tied up in mutual funds. 152 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:14,548 We don't have anywhere close to $400 153 00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:15,462 to buy a new nutcracker. 154 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,333 We have to tell Honey what happened. 155 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,901 And risk getting in trouble andlosing our Christmas gift cards? 156 00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,903 I'm spending mineon a certificate to Taco Bell 157 00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:24,340 so I can crush tacos whenever I want. 158 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,430 Wait, you're using a gift card to buy a gift card? 159 00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,692 You've got to spend moneyto make money. 160 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,215 We're not telling Honey. 161 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:31,216 We'll just do what I always do 162 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,088 when I make a mistake --cover it up. 163 00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:36,091 I don't know. Sounds delinquent. 164 00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:39,355 Sure. My way sometimes getsmessy, but it always works out. 165 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,313 I've broken plenty of thingsand never gotten caught. 166 00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:43,315 You think that'syour original watch? 167 00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:47,058 That watch was a birthday gift from my pen pal in Ecuador. 168 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,538 Well, this one's from Sears. 169 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:50,888 I don't know. Seems wrong. 170 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:53,804 Evan, think aboutall the stress confessingwould cause everyone. 171 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:56,894 Honey? Mom? 172 00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:58,679 You want to ruin Christmas? 173 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,637 Okay. 174 00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:01,943 Let's do it your way. 175 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,860 Also, what happened to my old watch? 176 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:08,079 Long story short,it's in Trent's dog. 177 00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,474 Oh, hey. 178 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,911 You see how I, uh, knocked out all the Christmas cards? 179 00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,565 I sure did. 180 00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,611 Great. Then let's lace upsome steel and hit the rink. 181 00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:18,612 I packed some singles, 182 00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:21,049 so maybe we can tip our wayinto a Zamboni ride. 183 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,354 No Zamboni. 184 00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:25,967 I have to stay and fix everything you did wrong. 185 00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,058 I seal each one with a kiss. 186 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,886 Nobody knows, but I know. 187 00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:33,931 Okay. 188 00:07:33,975 --> 00:07:35,367 I think you're going overboard. 189 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:37,674 I think you should leave Christmas to the professionals. 190 00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:39,110 You thought I had little time before? 191 00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:40,547 Now I have no time at all. 192 00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:42,853 I mean, look at this calligraphy. 193 00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:45,290 It could have come straight from the Vatican. 194 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:53,168 You're redoing theenvelopes just becauseI used the wrong stamps? 195 00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,300 I don't see what the big deal is. 196 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:57,738 My Christmas cards kick off the holiday season, 197 00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:00,175 and everyone expects perfection from me. 198 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:03,221 Okay, I knew you wereparticular about Christmas -- 199 00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,527 Particular? 200 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,703 I've been fine-tuning the details for years. 201 00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:08,444 I don't improvise. 202 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:12,317 This is Christmas, not some sleazy jazz concert. 203 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,318 Understood. I just didn't know 204 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,016 it went all the way downto envelopes. 205 00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:16,321 But now that I know,I can help out, 206 00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:17,584 and then we can go skating. 207 00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:19,542 I don't think that's a good idea. 208 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,544 Let's see -- stockings needhanging, wine needs mulling. 209 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,764 Come on.How hard could it really be? 210 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:24,765 Okay. You want to help? 211 00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,680 You just drew gingerbread house. 212 00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,770 What? But that's your showstopper. 213 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,423 Well, you said all this was easy, right? 214 00:08:31,467 --> 00:08:33,556 The grand unveiling is set for the end of the week. 215 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,036 It's B-Y-O-E-N. 216 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,126 Bring your own eggnog. 217 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,736 Oh. 218 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,739 You want me to work at the mall as a Christmas elf? 219 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,132 Eddie: Yep. 220 00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,916 All you got to do is fill out that application. 221 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,222 Under emergency contact, 222 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,354 put Cindy Crawford. See what happens. 223 00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:51,443 Why would I ever want to do this? 224 00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:55,709 Well, for starters, it'll help your acting career. 225 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:58,407 Think of all the great character work that you'd do. 226 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,714 I heard that "The Mummy's" very own Brendan Fraser 227 00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,193 got his start as a mall elf. 228 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:03,804 You'll also get a 30% mall discount 229 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:04,718 that we can all share. 230 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,502 Think about it. 231 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,069 Just like that, a $400 Christmas gift 232 00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,723 becomes $280. 233 00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:12,160 You broke Honey's nutcracker, didn't you? 234 00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,770 It was his quick math,wasn't it? 235 00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,076 Fine. We broke it. 236 00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:16,730 But even with my job at Cattleman's, 237 00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,949 we still can't afford to buy a new one. 238 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,647 And I don't meet the age 239 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:21,865 and height requirementsfor elf duty, 240 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:24,607 which feels backwards,but hey, rules are rules. 241 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:27,523 Sorry, guys, but this isn't my fight. 242 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,524 Wait. 243 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,525 What about what Grandma said 244 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,744 about doing things for the family? 245 00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,963 Come on, Emery. Your brothers are down. 246 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,704 It's Christmas. Help us out. 247 00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:35,662 For the family. 248 00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:38,316 Okay. For the family. 249 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,317 My man! 250 00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:40,754 Hey, while you're there, 251 00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,494 do you mind putting in a good word for me with Santa? 252 00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,322 It's been a real up-and-down year for me. 253 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,499 How's it coming? 254 00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,501 Awfully messy. 255 00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:50,807 Well, it's this damn frosting. 256 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:53,549 It's basically concrete -- solidifies instantly. 257 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,856 Doesn't bode wellfor the real thing. 258 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:56,900 Maybe I should take over. 259 00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:58,119 Nope. I've got it. 260 00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,251 Um, quick question -- I ate a lot of this. 261 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:01,557 How worried should I be? 262 00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:06,823 Thank you all for coming. 263 00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:09,521 It is good to show interest in your local government, 264 00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,088 even though this isn't a democracy. 265 00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:13,525 The butcher's influenceis spreading, 266 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:16,224 first with the tuba musicand then with the ugly signs. 267 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,878 Yeah, and then you reward him with a contract 268 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,706 to build our new library? 269 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:20,794 Yes, our beautiful new library 270 00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,056 that will be filled with only one book -- 271 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,274 my novel -- yes. 272 00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:25,276 Oh! This is too much for a meat vendor! 273 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,540 Exactly. Once that simple butcher sees how hard it is, 274 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,847 he'll quit, and then I, your mayor, 275 00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:32,544 will come in and save the day. 276 00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:34,808 But what if he pulls it off? 277 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,723 Please. That would take a miracle. 278 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,812 We live in a town where it's Christmas year-round. 279 00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,814 Miracles happen all the time. 280 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:46,384 Big shift at Cattleman's today. 281 00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:47,908 Sold a guy some ribs...Evan: Mm. 282 00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:49,300 ...and my socks. Ugh. 283 00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,737 What? You know what? 284 00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:51,825 We need money. I don't want to know. 285 00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,566 Eddie: There he is. 286 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,699 How was your first dayat work, champ? 287 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:57,831 It was awful. 288 00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,920 Elfing's the worst. 289 00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:01,704 Awful, like, in a good way? 290 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:04,272 There was an endless line of people, parents shoving, 291 00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,316 babies crying. 292 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,405 And Santa's no picnic, either. 293 00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,756 "Hey, elf! I said skimmilk." 294 00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,801 Emery,this sounds terrible. 295 00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,411 Emery? Who's Emery? 296 00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,631 My name's Jingles now. 297 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,937 I'm gonna go to bed. 298 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,721 I hate myself. 299 00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,769 We can't let him go back there. 300 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,945 Hey, this is what yousigned up for, remember? 301 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,948 You knew my way could get messy,but it works. 302 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:32,735 If Santa's drinking skim,what chance do any of us have? 303 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:36,391 So, we got to make this, but life-size? 304 00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,523 She's got a rain shower in the half-bath. 305 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:39,786 You don't make anything easy, do you, boss? 306 00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:41,918 I give you three daysof vacation a year. 307 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:43,093 That's pretty easy. 308 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,922 And I'm easy on the eyes.That's two easys. 309 00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,097 How come you stopped screaming 310 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,795 and banging your head against the walls? 311 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:49,970 Is everything okay? 312 00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,928 Everything's great.Some might say easy. 313 00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,321 Whoa. That's three. 314 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:54,844 What's that smell? 315 00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,324 We got some fresh gingerbreadcooking in the oven -- 316 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,586 homemade recipe. 317 00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:59,240 Trent's gonna help me startthrowing up some walls. 318 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:02,634 Oh, my God. It's a Christmas miracle. 319 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,245 I told you. It's not that hard.Anyone could do it. 320 00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,681 Really? 321 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,553 So, then you'd be okay if I moved the unveiling up to, 322 00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:09,685 say, tomorrow? 323 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,774 Give the neighborhood a few extra days 324 00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,210 to enjoy your handiwork. 325 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:14,908 Uh, tomorrow? 326 00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:16,910 That's, like, one day from now. 327 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:17,824 Oh, unless you can't handle it? 328 00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,043 Nope. We've got it. 329 00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:22,002 If we can handle CatfishWednesdays at Cattleman's, 330 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,438 we could handle anything. 331 00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:24,656 I'm sure you can. 332 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,963 I can't wait to see how your homemade recipe 333 00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:31,272 accounts for Florida's relentless swamp humidity. 334 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,884 I'll be honest, boss -- no way this gingerbread house 335 00:12:34,928 --> 00:12:36,059 can be built by tomorrow. 336 00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:38,714 And I say that as a ginger myself -- one who eats bread. 337 00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:44,067 Alright, bro. You loose? 338 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,155 Need another Tic Tac? 339 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,853 I can't go back out there. 340 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:50,073 It's almost over. 341 00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:51,466 I'm picking up another shiftat Cattleman's, 342 00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:54,034 and Evan's closing a dealright now as we speak. 343 00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,862 We're all in this together. 344 00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:56,906 For the family. 345 00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,255 For the family. 346 00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,867 Now go out there and throwsome kids in that old man's lap. 347 00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:06,046 Hello, good sir. Nice location. 348 00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:08,918 Donations for the Toys for Totsbin are right over there. 349 00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:13,444 No, I'm actually here to trade for one of your nutcrackers. 350 00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:14,968 Sorry, kid. Cash only. 351 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,063 Hey, Evan! What are you doing here? 352 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:25,108 I'm allowed to be here!What are you doing here?! 353 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,763 Uh -- Wh-- Marvin foundthe stocking stuffers I got him, 354 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,983 so I just had to come get some aftershave. 355 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,985 Thank God you guys are hiding his main gift. 356 00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:35,075 You are gonna make his Christmas morning. 357 00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,337 You knowthe Huang brothers -- 358 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,992 always dependable, rock steady. 359 00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:40,645 Oh, well, someone should tell Emery that, 360 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,473 because that kid is in pieces. 361 00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:47,087 I just saw him wiping his tears with a paper snowflake. 362 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:50,090 Anyway, I will come by later to wrap that gift. 363 00:14:06,193 --> 00:14:09,109 How'd it go with the Beanie Babies? 364 00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:10,240 Fine. It went fine. 365 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,286 Emery doesn't have to workas an elf anymore. 366 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,244 Really? That's great news! 367 00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,550 So, how much did you get for them? 368 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,552 Is this a "pizza's on Evan" situation? 369 00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:20,468 I stole the nutcracker! 370 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:21,861 Aah! I'm too pretty for jail! 371 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:29,520 This is one high-class garland. 372 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:33,002 Gar-land is where Garfield is from. 373 00:14:33,046 --> 00:14:34,525 Louis: Jessica! Hurry! I need you! 374 00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:37,833 I knew he didn't have it in him. 375 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,140 Wow. 376 00:14:40,183 --> 00:14:43,012 It's worse than I thought. 377 00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:44,057 It's perfect. 378 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,623 Perfect? 379 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,974 This looks like a place wheregingerbread men go to O.D. 380 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,280 No way. 381 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:53,980 No, it represents the humble spirit of Christmas -- 382 00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:57,026 before everything became so over-the-top. 383 00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:58,941 Well, as tempting as it looks, don't take a bite. 384 00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,551 It's all nails. 385 00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,075 Everyone loves Louis' idea. 386 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,424 Scaling back. 387 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,861 Simple. Genius. 388 00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:10,170 Honey: I'm loving this music! 389 00:15:10,213 --> 00:15:11,736 And I'm loving this clapping! 390 00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:14,957 Constable Bryson, 391 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,351 arrest those two for disorderly conduct. 392 00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:18,961 Sorry, ma'am, but you no longer 393 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,658 have that kind of authority. 394 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:22,747 You're not the mayor anymore. 395 00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,880 What? Well, if I'm not, then who is? 396 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:28,623 I give you... 397 00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,407 your new library. 398 00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:33,062 What about all the money that'ssupposed to make it look nice? 399 00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:34,890 I used it to build an ice rink. 400 00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:38,459 Yes! 401 00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,378 I'll admit, the time crunchhad me nervous. 402 00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,857 Couldn't get to all the bellsand whistles, 403 00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:48,077 but people love it. 404 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,471 Thanks, Louis. You ruined my Christmas. 405 00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:55,084 Hey, you really should get onto to this nog, Lou. 406 00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,260 It's only 2,000 calories a glass. 407 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:09,446 Um...what are you doing to my sit-down hairdryer? 408 00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:12,928 Making a joke out of somethingyou love, like you did to me. 409 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,278 Jessica, I thought you'd behappy with my gingerbread house. 410 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:16,932 Please. 411 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,412 You built a shack. 412 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:21,197 Look, I know it's not Princess Jasmine's Arabian fortress, 413 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,851 but everyone loves it. 414 00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,722 Isn't that all that matters? 415 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,072 Christmas is my holiday. 416 00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:27,856 It has to be perfect. 417 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:31,642 Not quickly pushed through,not scaled back -- perfect. 418 00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,905 Well, you know what a perfect Christmas is to me? 419 00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,124 Spending time with you. 420 00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,171 The chair looks beautiful. 421 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:44,960 What came over you, man? 422 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,136 I've never stolenanything in my life -- 423 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:50,052 I mean, a few hearts, sure,but never a piece of property. 424 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:51,271 Shh! Lower your voice. 425 00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,316 She's watching "Die Hard." 426 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,883 If Bruce Willis is on TV, 427 00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,624 the rest of the worldfades away. 428 00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,843 Yippee-ki-ay! 429 00:16:58,887 --> 00:16:59,931 I don't know what happened back there. 430 00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:02,543 I saw the nutcracker. Honey showed up. 431 00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:03,761 Emery was crying. 432 00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:05,633 Next thing you know, I'm outside the mall. 433 00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:07,200 It's like I blacked out. 434 00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,418 This is really hard-core. 435 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:10,638 Now we're sitting ona hot nutcracker. 436 00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:11,682 I'm gonna have to go on the run. 437 00:17:11,726 --> 00:17:12,857 Start a new life. 438 00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,772 This is all my fault. 439 00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:16,905 I was the one who pushed youto do things my way. 440 00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:18,950 You never told me to steal, Eddie. 441 00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,909 We should have just told Honey,like you said. 442 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,258 Well, it's too late now. 443 00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:23,651 I'll have to wear a fake mustache 444 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,131 until I can grow one on my own. 445 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,306 Let's just... 446 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,134 return the nutcrackerand come clean to Honey. 447 00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:30,223 We're gonna be in so much trouble. No. 448 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,007 I'm taking all the blame. 449 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,356 What about the consequences? 450 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,662 Your Christmas gift card? 451 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,011 Yeah, I know. 452 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,448 I'm really hoping this scoresme some points with Santa. 453 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,581 Or Jesus.Whoever's listening. 454 00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,670 Now, come on.Let's go call Honey. 455 00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:47,805 Hans Gruber is actually the hero of this story. 456 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:51,026 This must be what King Kong feels like. 457 00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:02,472 You do this all day? 458 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:04,996 Put on cheap makeup and pick up trash? 459 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,825 Um, I did find an almost-untouched BLT once, 460 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,262 so it's not always terrible. 461 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,611 Oh. 462 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,353 Look at all those couples spending time together. 463 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:16,051 I mean, that's what Christmas is all about. 464 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,314 Shame we can't join them. 465 00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,273 We're too busy working around the clock, 466 00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:22,188 picking up trash so the town looks perfect. 467 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:29,151 How'd it go with Operation Stolen Nutcracker Return? 468 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:32,154 Success. I told the vendor I wascleaning it in Santa's workshop. 469 00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:34,287 Everyone trusts a kidwearing bells. 470 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:35,549 Ha! 471 00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:37,812 Isn't this wrapping paper perfect? 472 00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:40,423 Navy blue? 473 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,209 Because the nutcracker's clearly a naval officer. 474 00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,995 Eh, you know what? Marvin will appreciate it. 475 00:18:47,038 --> 00:18:48,823 Yeah. About that gift... 476 00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:51,608 We --Good-looking jaws on this one. 477 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,001 Cherish him. 478 00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:54,394 Ohh! 479 00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:57,788 Thank you for keeping it safe, guys. 480 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:02,445 I don't know how you resisted the urge to play with this guy. 481 00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:05,013 You have more willpower than me. 482 00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:06,841 Whoa, G-ma. 483 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,799 Why'd you bail us out? 484 00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:13,587 I overheard you were in trouble,so I did it for the family. 485 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:16,024 All: For the family. 486 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,338 Nice chimney. Peppermint bark? 487 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,992 It was a milk crate from the shed. 488 00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:30,473 I didn't mean to crap so hardon your gingerbread house. 489 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:33,476 I was just worried thatChristmas would be ruined 490 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,477 if I didn't make it perfect. 491 00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:36,436 It's what I'm known for. 492 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:37,611 Christmas isn't about being perfect. 493 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,482 It's about being together. 494 00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:40,483 We just want to spend it with you, 495 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,006 no matter how... 496 00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:43,443 crappy it looks. 497 00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:44,618 So, you see it, too? 498 00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:51,059 I know you were just trying tohelp when you wrote those cards. 499 00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:53,583 Want to skate circlesaround some teenagers? 500 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:55,368 Disrupt their make-outs? 501 00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:58,153 Really? I thought you were worried about getting hurt. 502 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,721 Fun fact -- I'm goodat everything I do. 503 00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:03,245 Besides, what is thereleft to do? 504 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,465 You built the gingerbread house, 505 00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:07,945 and I see why everybody loves it. 506 00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,033 Well, don't look too close. 507 00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:10,861 I cut a few corners during construction. 508 00:20:10,905 --> 00:20:13,168 There's a rat in here! 509 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,518 Boss, there's a rat in here! 510 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:22,525 Yeah, 50 soft tacos,here I come! 511 00:20:24,005 --> 00:20:25,354 Come on, Grandma. 512 00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:26,312 We're family. 513 00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:33,406 Well, Emery, at least youhave one. 514 00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,973 Although, if we split it three ways... 515 00:20:36,017 --> 00:20:37,497 I'm spending mine at the spa. 516 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,848 Oh, you look just like a candy cane. 517 00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:43,503 How you feeling? 518 00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:45,983 That was a pretty gruesome fall you took on the ice. 519 00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:47,289 Hey, at leastit restored my faith 520 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,291 in Orlando'smedical response team. 521 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:52,076 That ambulance came fast. 522 00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:58,692 Oh, Louis. 523 00:20:59,649 --> 00:21:01,999 You know these would have been 50% off tomorrow. 524 00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:03,784 Jessica. They're perfect. 525 00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:17,885 Hold my hand.I don't want to fall. 526 00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:22,193 Come on. You just push off to the sides, and go -- like this! 527 00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:22,977 Oh! Aah! 528 00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:26,372 My arms! Ooooooh. 38250

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