Original subtitles

Oh, yeah!

Oh, this? I call it "the Frost Daddy."

Because this is how my daddy looked in high school.

[scatting softly]

[grunting, scatting]

[grunting softly]

Left side.

[scatting]

I call it the "Deserted Island."

Every hair on my head is pulled

into the tightest ponytail possible.

A little hard to blink, though.

Hmm. Right side.

-Certainly! -[shuddering, grunts]

-Oh, wow, Chip! Your hair turned out great! -[pants]

Mr. Okay parked his truck on my head.

I had to build my own car jack out of coconuts.

I haven't had food or water in so long.

-Right side. -Huh?

-Ahem! -[thudding]

-Presenting the Poodle Cut. [chuckles] -[Larry clapping] Ooh!

Thank you, thank you. [chuckles]

I graciously accept center stage.

Yeah, your hairstyle is the best, Sara.

Hey, could I get some of that?

I mean, I would. But this is, like, the eye spray, not the mouth spray.

This is for eyes.

[Chip] Ew!

You didn't have to give me a wet willy!

[Merian] I didn't!

Ahem, ahem. Ahem! You may paint.

Wait, wait! Pliny's not here yet.

Once Francis starts painting,

she won't stop till she's done.

My relentless perseverance was remarked upon at the conservatory.

[Pliny shouting] I'm here! I'm here!

Don't worry, buddy. I saved you a great spot, left of center.

[gasping]

Wow!

[hair swishing]

[breathily] Wow!

[laughs] I call it "the rigatoni."

-[cheers] -Thank you, thank you!

I was inspired by how much I like rigatoni.

Pliny, you should totally be center-stage.

-Oh, yeah. -Oh, yeah. Okay.

Hey, wait! I'm supposed to be--

[grunts]

[Larry, Merian and Chip exclaiming in awe]

[whimpering]

[whispering] Let's see who is the star.

I begin.

[grunting in distress]

[yelling] Wait! Don't start!

My poodle cut was just a... a warm-up. [pants]

I've got something much better coming.

She can't hear you, Sara.

[softly] Francis has entered her fugue state.

[Merian] She paints each line meticulously from the bottom up,

like an inkjet printer.

[inkjet printer whirring]

[Merian] It'll be an hour before she makes it to our ships.

-[muttering] Then I still have time. -Uh, for what?

-[♪ dramatic beat] -To see my barber.

[poodle whimpering]

But then, of course, Pliny shows up with a dang rigatoni!

[groans] It was supposed to be my day.

-Aw, honey. -I'm just happy you could squeeze me in.

I'm sure you're in high demand.

Yeah.

Dog Do's! Get your Dog Do's here!

Yeah, I had to... move some stuff around.

Poodle's too pedestrian!

I need something with more "oomph"

if I want to rig that topatoni!

[coughs] Okay, yeah. Yep. [clears throat]

Which one is jumping out at you?

No more Dog Do's! [grunts]

We need to go bigger,

and bolder. I want some of that artsy weirdo stuff,

like when you parked your truck on Chip's head!

-When I what? -My hair should be a monument to the art of barbery!

[yelling] A monument!

Oh, I think I feel a hot Dog Do coming on.

[♪ heavy metal instrumental music playing]

[snarls, growling]

[inkjet printer whirring]

[Sara] Ahem!

-[♪ mystical music playing] -Presenting the "Hairamid of Giza"!

Huh?

-Whoa! -Wow!

Wait,

Pliny, what's that on the back of your head?

Oh, you spotted that, huh?

That's my lasagna mullet.

'Toni in the front, lasagna in the back.

-Guys? Hairamid of Giza? -[all exclaiming in amazement]

[Sara groans]

[♪ heavy metal music playing]

[grunting, panting]

Just in time for hair o'clock!

-[clock chimes] -[bird cuckoos]

-Wow! -[breathily] Wow.

Pliny, am I imagining things

or are your braids little raviolis?

[sniffing] Even smells like them.

[gobbling]

Some have clams.

[growling in frustration]

-[♪ heavy metal music playing] -[mechanical buzzing]

Okay. [pants]

Are you ready for real this time?

All aboard the hairousel! [coughs, clears throat]

[in sing-song voice] ♪ With hair confetti finish ♪

[party blown trumpeting]

[confetti swooshing softly]

[sneezes]

Sweet Sparky Joe!

-That is real marinara! Mmm! -[growling]

[gasping]

She's almost at the head. I'm running out of time!

Braid!

-[creaking] -[straining] Braid like your life depends on it!

That's all I can do.

I... I can't go any further.

I asked for the Andromeda Galaxy!

This is just a stupid circle!

I need more!

[shrieking] More!

Every hair you have is in this braid!

There is no more!

I must be in the center of that painting!

[straining] I'll do anything!

Oof. Um...

Well, there is... one... thing.

[yelling] Whatever it is, I'll do it!

[metal cuffs clank]

Sign this waiver. There is a considerable risk.

[Sara impatiently] Oh, my gosh. Just hurry up!

[Dr. Lullah] I call it "the Large Hairstyle Collider."

It volumizes hair by giving the person access

to all the hair they've ever grown

-in their entire life! -[buttons beeping]

And maybe more.

-[keys clacking] -[machine beeps]

-[thunder cracking] -[shuddering and grunting in distress]

-[continuous shuddering and grunting] -[laughing maniacally]

[howling]

[machine powers down]

[♪ dramatic and tense music playing]

[triumphantly] A-ha!

[energy pulsating]

[grunts groggily] What did you do to me?

I've accessed not just all your past hair,

but all the hair all of your ancestors have ever grown for all time.

A temporal hair tunnel, leading to the very origins of hair on earth!

-Wait, what? -I'm going in!

[hair tunnel whirs]

[footsteps receding]

You signed the waiver.

[footsteps approaching]

-[baby mammoth trumpets] -Yee-haw!

They said there was no practical application for the Infinity Braid.

But look who has a baby mammoth!

We're done here. Release her.

Wait, you... you never said... [gasps]

Hang on.

I am feeling this. Oh! [gasps]

Behold what science hath wrought.

-Oh, my gosh! -What... is... that?

[gasping audibly]

[choking]

The depth!

I've never seen a tube that deep.

It's like an infinite rigatoni.

An "infinitoni."

Sara, you should take center spot.

-Okay. -[grunts, thuds]

[humming tune]

[exhales sharply] I hope I made it in time.

Don't worry. She still has to paint the heads.

-Hey, mind if I pop in for a quick look? -Go nuts.

[hair portal whirs]

[chuckling] Whoa!

[echoing] Hello!

[chuckles] Neat.

[past Chip] Hey, could I get some of that?

[past Merian] I mean, I would, but...

-[continues indistinctly] -[Larry] Whoa! It's this morning!

[past Merian] ...not the mouth spray.

This is for eyes.

Is this real?

[sucking]

Ew!

You didn't have to give me a wet willy.

I didn't!

[giggles] Neat.

-[rumbling] -Wha-- [exclaiming in distress]

[Larry whimpering, screaming]

-[grunts] -Larry, what is it? What's wrong?

[Larry] Something's coming out of the portal!

-[trumpeting] -[all scream]

[Chip] It's a great big mammoth!

[all continue screaming]

Stop! Everyone! [straining] We need to finish the painting.

[mammoth trumpets]

[inhales]

[screams]

[both] Larry!

[grunts] No, no, no! Not again!

-[trumpeting angrily] -[screaming]

[pops]

[speaking indistinctly]

-[exclaims in panic] I'm out of here! -Pliny, wait!

[shrieking] What about the painting?

Okay, uh, well, if the painting means that much to you, Sara,

[slurping]

[screaming]

-Just let her have the sauce. -[screaming continues]

[shouting] What if she doesn't stop with the sauce?

Argh! Oh...

Fine! I'll star in this painting without any of you!

-[Francis] Finished. -[gasps]

Ooh, ooh! Let me see! Let me see!

Oh...

I ruined everything.

-You sure did. -Oh...

If I get everyone back, will you paint another one?

No, I don't think I'll ever paint again.

[sighing in despair]

You're right, Mama. It is time to fix this.

-[mammoth trumpeting] -[Dr. Lullah] Stop! You're killing me! [screams]

-[laughing hysterically, whoops] -[trumpeting angrily]

Fine, you win.

Mr. Okay, release the calf.

[sighing grunt]

-[trumpets] -[trumpets happily]

What a waste of a perfectly good baby mammoth.

[gasps] What are you doing?

I'm gonna fix the past.

So, eat eggs, Lullah!

[portal energy pulsating]

Oh, boy. Some birthday this turned out to be.

-It's your birthday? -[portal whirring]

[chuckles loftily] Wait till they get a load of this hair.

[power surging]

[both screaming]

Sara, [pants] I'm you from the future

but I inverted myself to my own quantum rigatoni.

-I understand. -[gulps] This is us

if we continue down this path.

Awesome!

Yes, but it wasn't worth it!

We were the stars of the painting,

but only because we had no friends left.

Plus, I had to destroy the universe.

Oh. I like the universe, [softly] and our friends.

[whispering] I am glad you understand.

[clears throat] I'll go explain everything to our secret hidden twin.

[Sara's voice] Don't bother.

I've been here the whole time.

-[both] Oh, yeah! -Yeah!

-Oh, that was a good one. [chanting] Sara! Sara! -[chanting] Sara! Sara!

-[chanting] Sara! Sara! -Now, come on, let's shave your head so you match.

Ah, there you are.

Wow! Interesting hair.

Maybe Sara should take center, guys.

Don't move! [nervously] Uh, yeah...

I... I don't want to mess up Francis' painting.

[clears throat] Or the universe.

[clears throat] Uh, yeah, me neither.

Take it away, Francis, my buddy.

The artist starts when they're ready.

Okay, I'm ready.

[inkjet printer processing]

♪ theme music playing]