All language subtitles for Fresh Off the Boat (2015) - S06E05 - Hal-Lou-Ween (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)_Track03

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,178 You got tension on me, Evan? I gotta go deeper. 2 00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:06,658 Deeper?! Huang, you're a madman! 3 00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,095 I don't have a choice. 4 00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,662 Your mom insists on putting all the Halloween decorations 5 00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:11,837 in the back. 6 00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:13,317 Because she hates the holiday. 7 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,753 Yeah, that ends this year. 8 00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:15,928 Aah! Aah! 9 00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:17,060 I dropped the rope, you're on your own! 10 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,061 No, no, no, it's okay. 11 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,889 It's just your mom's novel -- 12 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:21,891 "A Case of a Knife to the Brain." 13 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:22,718 Scary. 14 00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:23,936 Oh. 15 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,938 You mean the part where the butler lost all his skin? 16 00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:28,898 No, I mean how many unsold copies we still have. 17 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,205 Pushing on. 18 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:38,299 Sandy. 19 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,344 The queen bee of my haunted house. 20 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:43,173 Which I realize is confusing because she's a spider. 21 00:00:43,217 --> 00:00:45,523 Haunted house? That's your plan to get Mom on board with Halloween? 22 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,917 I know it's a long shot, but I got a plan 23 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,440 to make it all about her. 24 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:51,355 Huh. She'd like that. 25 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:54,315 What's the only thing she lovesmore than sensible footwear? 26 00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:55,751 Instilling fear in people. 27 00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:58,188 Which she can do in her very own haunted house. 28 00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,233 Ah. 29 00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:00,799 No. No crazy house. 30 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,105 It's a hauntedhouse. 31 00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:05,195 Call it whatever you want, we're not having one here. 32 00:01:07,937 --> 00:01:09,286 You told me to pull if you were in trouble. 33 00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:11,201 So I'm pulling. 34 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,292 --Captions by VITAC-- 35 00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:16,511 ♪ Fresh off the boat 36 00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,121 ♪ I'm gettin' mine everywhere I go ♪ 37 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,515 ♪ If you don't know, homey, now you know ♪ 38 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:21,907 ♪ Fresh off the boat 39 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,345 ♪ Homey, you don't know where I come from ♪ 40 00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:25,607 ♪ But I know where I'm goin' 41 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,305 ♪ I'm fresh off the boat 42 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,264 Well, think about how fun it would be. 43 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,004 I mean, isn't this scary? 44 00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:34,964 What am I looking at? 45 00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,183 It's Sandy the spider. 46 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,750 It fused with my Cher wigin the attic heat. 47 00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:40,535 Even Halloween accidents are beautiful. 48 00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,580 Stop using words that describe me 49 00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:45,279 to get me on board with your stupid holiday. 50 00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:46,932 Well, I thought you'd love a haunted house. 51 00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,151 Your heart is fueled by fear. 52 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,370 C'mon, pop out, 53 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,285 scare the pants off the neighborhood kids. 54 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:53,635 No to strange kids walking through our house all night 55 00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:55,419 with their dirty feet. 56 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,378 It's bad enough your mother doesn't brush her tires. 57 00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:58,727 I don't get it, Jessica. 58 00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,598 Your book was a horror novel. 59 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,165 It scared tens of -- 60 00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:04,167 hundreds of people. 61 00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,647 Well, Louis, it's just not for me. 62 00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:09,172 But, to prove that I am not a total Scrooge -- 63 00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,869 a real villain on a real holiday -- 64 00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:12,306 I bought you the treats 65 00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:14,221 to hand out to the costumed beggars! 66 00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:15,396 I knew it! 67 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,180 Somewhere beneath that hard candy shell 68 00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:18,877 lies a soft, gooey -- 69 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,445 Raisins?! 70 00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:22,403 Raisins aren't candy! 71 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:25,536 It says right on the box -- "nature's candy." 72 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,321 But, Jessica, the neighborhood knows 73 00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,192 I'm a double-barrel candy man -- 74 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,673 Twix, Reese's, Kit Kat. 75 00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,849 That's a double double-barrel! A quad-barrel! 76 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,416 Why is it when it comes to Halloween, 77 00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:36,330 you never listen to me? 78 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,983 That's not true. 79 00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:39,202 I listen to you. 80 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,030 So are we on the same page? 81 00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:42,423 Yes. 82 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:43,641 No spooky house. 83 00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,426 Oh, come on! 84 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,341 Hey, our house will be haunted soon enough 85 00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:48,298 when your mother -- 86 00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,475 Well, soon enough. 87 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,222 These are like scrapbook crack. 88 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,484 We've had some good times. 89 00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,051 Yeah, but looking back, 90 00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:04,619 it seems like we've exhausted all the couples costumes. 91 00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:07,056 Maybe this is the year we can finally do Frasier and Niles. 92 00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:09,711 I don't want to get in a big fight over who gets to be Niles. 93 00:03:09,754 --> 00:03:11,582 The last timeMaris and I got in a fight, 94 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:14,455 we were roundly shushed bya particularly plucky sommelier. 95 00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,631 Talk about whining! 96 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,678 Hey, Eddie, big Halloween plans? 97 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:23,246 Eh, I'm too old to 'ween it up.I'm just gonna skip it. 98 00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,682 But you boys have fun. 99 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,293 No drugs, okay? 100 00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:27,859 "Too old to 'ween it up"? 101 00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,034 You hear that bull? 102 00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:30,906 Yeah. He's growing up too fast. 103 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,256 He's gonna miss this when he's gone off to college. 104 00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,260 He did make a great Dusty Bottoms. 105 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,697 And soon, the Three Amigos will be two. 106 00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:41,395 The Dos Amigos. 107 00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:42,265 Que lastima. 108 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,440 That's it! 109 00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,399 That's the answer to our costume problem. 110 00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:46,835 We bring back the trio. 111 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:49,054 Three opens up a world of possibilities. 112 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,360 The 3 Chipmunks. 113 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,448 The 3 Rice Krispie guys. 114 00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:52,493 The 3 states of matter. 115 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:53,842 Solid, liquid -- 116 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:55,278 Eddie would be gas.Eddie would be gas. 117 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,540 We'll keep thinking. 118 00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,194 Until then,we've got to get Eddie on board. 119 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,848 Well, dear brother, 120 00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,545 it seems we've bested another conundrum. 121 00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:03,460 Was that Frasier or Niles? 122 00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:05,549 Frasier. But from "Cheers." 123 00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:06,768 Before he sold out. 124 00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,552 Hmm. 125 00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,731 What is our son's friend doing in our bedroom, Louis? 126 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:15,385 Afternoon, Mrs. H. 127 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:16,952 Love the color scheme in your bedroom -- 128 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,562 purple, the color of royalty. 129 00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,564 Don't sit there. 130 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:21,783 Or anywhere. 131 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,350 Trent's helping me pick out decorations. 132 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:24,916 I said no haunted house. 133 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,354 Now who's not listening about Halloween? 134 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:28,572 We're not doing it here. 135 00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,313 We're doing it at the restaurant. Cattleman's. 136 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:32,228 We're calling it Cattleman's Haunted House.Cattleman's Haunted House. 137 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,490 It's going to be huge. 138 00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,971 We need to work triple-timeto get the restaurant decorated, 139 00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:38,016 so I'm gonna need you to take my place as a judge 140 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,714 at the middle-school costume competition. 141 00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:42,456 Did that ginger bite you and infect your brain? 142 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:43,761 Oh, come on, you love judging. 143 00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,807 I love ajudge. Judy. 144 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,156 'Cause she's just like me -- 145 00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,419 petite, brash, can hold her pee for days. 146 00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:50,464 Judy. 147 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,335 Hey, this wouldn't even be an issue 148 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,771 if you let me have my thing here. 149 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:57,209 I guess an hour of telling kidstheir outfits stink 150 00:04:57,253 --> 00:05:00,125 is better than a full night of that nonsense in our own home. 151 00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,911 Okay, I'll judge the dumb competition. 152 00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:08,177 You guys gotta knock. I got a lady now. 153 00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,831 We had to knock more when you didn'thave a lady. 154 00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:12,703 Eddie, do you have any extra pillowcases 155 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,009 just lying around? 156 00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,793 Nah, I stopped using them. Too much work. 157 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,795 Uch, you're a beast. 158 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,623 We're gonna double bag this Halloween. 159 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,191 The weight from the candy tore through our sacks last year. 160 00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:23,323 Continue. 161 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,195 You've been out of the game for too long. 162 00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,589 People hand out full-size candy now. 163 00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,068 You love candy. 164 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:31,548 I do. 165 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:35,073 Eh, I'll just eat the leftoversDad doesn't hand out. 166 00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:37,162 Y'know, trick-or-treat my own pad. 167 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,861 Yeah, about that. Mommyactually got the candy this year. 168 00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,645 She got...raisins. 169 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:42,951 Chocolate-covered raisins?Nope. 170 00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,387 Yogurt-covered raisins?Unh-unh. 171 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,997 White chocolate-covered raisins? 172 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:47,172 Worse. 173 00:05:47,216 --> 00:05:48,609 Goldenraisins. 174 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,872 Mom got booger raisins? 175 00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:52,395 Still want to stay home and chill? 176 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,527 No, I'm in. 177 00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:56,399 But a pillowcase won't do. 178 00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,401 I'm gonna air out Grandma's sleeping bag. 179 00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:03,101 Principal Hunter: I love a couples costume. 180 00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:05,495 Double the effort, double the score. 181 00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:07,323 98. 182 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,543 What mighty big scores you have! 183 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:10,674 95! 184 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,676 Can I give out a negative number? 185 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,635 A wolf should not have a human girlfriend. 186 00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:17,246 It brings up too many icky questions. 187 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:18,813 2 points. 1 for each of you. Next. 188 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,513 Thank you for not using profanity this time, 189 00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,515 but can you maybe ease up on the criticism? 190 00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:27,691 You made SpongeBob cry through his makeup. 191 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,260 Well, if he were a believable sponge, 192 00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:32,870 he'd be able to sop up his tears. 193 00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:38,267 All right, I'm in a pickle here,because I want to ask 194 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,443 if there's more of the costume under the trench coat, 195 00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,706 but if I say that, I'll be in trouble. 196 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:44,795 You're a mix of all the people I see on the bus. 197 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,711 I'm a detective frommy favorite murder-mystery book. 198 00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:50,061 100 out of 100! 199 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,281 You know who she is? 200 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:53,500 She's Jennifer Hong 201 00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:55,458 from "A Case of a Knife to the Brain"! 202 00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:56,459 I am! 203 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:58,287 Are you a fan of the book? 204 00:06:58,330 --> 00:06:59,723 Yes! 205 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,246 Always nice to meet another Brain-head. 206 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,510 W-- I thought I was the only one! 207 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:06,817 Oh...there's more of us out there. 208 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:12,954 Yah! Aah! 209 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,303 Louis, I'm in for Halloween! 210 00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,524 Why does it suddenly smell like your mother? 211 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,746 Ohh! Nothing works! 212 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:29,361 In for Halloween? What does that mean? 213 00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:30,537 Oh, wait, you're tricking me. 214 00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,843 No tricks. All treats. 215 00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:35,498 A little girl dressed up in the competition 216 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,543 as Jennifer Hong! 217 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:37,761 From your book? 218 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,589 Come on. What are the chances? 219 00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,504 Are you implying that nobody read it? 220 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:43,593 No. 221 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:44,899 What I mean is, 222 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,553 I find it hard to believe a little girl would dress up 223 00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,337 as a character from such a... 224 00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,644 ...gritty novel. Lotta sex in there. 225 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,646 They made me cut half of it out. 226 00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:53,864 They say they want real, and then 227 00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:55,736 when you give it to them, they don't want it. 228 00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:56,693 I don't know, Jessica. 229 00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,521 Maybe the girl was dressed as something else. 230 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,001 Inspector Gadget, a flasher. 231 00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:02,133 No, I will prove it to you. 232 00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:04,788 The girl gave me the address to a Halloween party tonight. 233 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:07,008 They're all dressing as characters from my book! 234 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,705 Multiple children are doing this? 235 00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:11,752 Apparently it's become some kind of a cult. 236 00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:12,970 You mean a cult classic? 237 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,929 Exactly. Like "Heaven's Gate." 238 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,539 Come with me, you can see for yourself. 239 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,410 I love that you're into Halloween now, 240 00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:20,674 but I have my haunted house at Cattleman's to work on. 241 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,589 I have to stop by the blood bank, get supplies. 242 00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,591 If you don't want O-negative, it's actually pretty cheap. 243 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:25,940 Louis! 244 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:29,378 My book is as important to me as Halloween is to you. 245 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,467 If you come with me, I'll tell everybody 246 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,034 yougot me on board with Halloween 247 00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,644 and not some little girl. 248 00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:35,602 Hmm. 249 00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:36,907 That does help. 250 00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,648 But if I go with you to find your fans, 251 00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,607 you have to go with me to the restaurant afterwards. 252 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,260 Deal. 253 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,348 Uh, just curious, 254 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:44,741 but did you make any kids cry today? 255 00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,700 Oh, yeah. Principal Hunter too. 256 00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:47,831 But that's his own fault 257 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,790 for putting his kid in the costume contest. 258 00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:50,704 Mm. 259 00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,577 I got Grandma's sleeping bag in the freezer. 260 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,274 Trying to blast the funk out with a blow-dryer 261 00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:57,580 was the...wrong choice. 262 00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,718 What the hell is going on here, guys? 263 00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,720 I wasn't kidding about the drugs. 264 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,243 I'm surprised you have to ask. 265 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,288 I'm renowned physician Dr. Dre. 266 00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:11,812 Emery: And I'm Snoopy Dog. 267 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:13,596 You can be Iced Tea. 268 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,729 Did you say "IcedTea"? 269 00:09:15,772 --> 00:09:16,817 It's Ice-T! 270 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,819 We want to do a brothers costume. 271 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,169 Yeah, we wanna have a threesome. 272 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:23,475 O...kay. So, never say that. 273 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:26,609 But I would be down to do a costume with you two. 274 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,263 Well, if we aren't gonna go as the hard freestylers, 275 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,481 who are we gonna be? 276 00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:30,657 It's Halloween. 277 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,223 All the stores are out of the good stuff. 278 00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,443 Chill. We'll think of it on the fly, yo! 279 00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,663 Chill. We can think of somethingon the fly, yo! 280 00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,622 That was a pretty good me you did there. 281 00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:42,799 Hey, what if we dressed up as each other? 282 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,540 Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea. 283 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:45,628 ♪ Yeah 284 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,891 "Not bad" is my sweet spot. 285 00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,462 Grandma! 286 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:54,637 How'd you get back in your sleeping bag? 287 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,726 Now I gotta start over! 288 00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,123 This is the address they gave you? 289 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,472 I don't understand. 290 00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:06,257 This makes perfect sense. 291 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,476 Sure, for a mugging. 292 00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,826 She gave me the wrong address on purpose. 293 00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:11,088 In Chapter 5 of the book, 294 00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:13,221 Jennifer Hong gets a lead from the lady robot 295 00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:14,788 to the location of the bazooka factory, 296 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,485 only to find... 297 00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,487 an empty lot. 298 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,445 Turns out, the factory was down the street. 299 00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:21,533 Twist. 300 00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,493 It's got to be one of these houses. 301 00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:26,321 We just got to "walk the beat," 302 00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:27,452 "work the case," 303 00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:28,671 "follow the bazooka shells." 304 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,760 Jessica, two adults can't go door-to-door 305 00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:32,109 asking if a little girl is home. 306 00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,894 It's creepy, even for Halloween. 307 00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:35,417 You're right. 308 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,899 Do you still have that stuff in the van for the haunted house? 309 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,031 Yeah, you watched me pack the whole van by myself, 310 00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,293 heckling me to go faster. 311 00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,294 Well, did you go faster? 312 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:44,731 Yeah. 313 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,256 Hi, I'm Mad Cow Disease. 314 00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:49,823 And I am an evil Irish toddler. 315 00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,041 Chucky from "Child's Play." 316 00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:53,914 Speaking of children playing, does a cute 12-year-old girl 317 00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:56,133 with an active imagination and a great taste in books 318 00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:57,569 live here? 319 00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,485 Uh...what she means is -- trick-or-treat! 320 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:01,748 Real smooth, Jessica. 321 00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,924 One down. 322 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:04,707 Hong's on the case! 323 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,709 Slow down, I'm wearing 6-inch hooves! 324 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,758 Wait, you'redressed as Evan? 325 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,760 I thought Iwas going as the little man. 326 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,631 No, Eddie, you're supposed to be Emery 327 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,980 and I'msupposed to be Evan! 328 00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,852 Why'd they give us all "E" names? 329 00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,244 Very confusing! 330 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:28,122 Who the hell are you? 331 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,427 I'm Evan. 332 00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:30,994 Why are you both dressed as me? 333 00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:32,213 Because Emery messed up. 334 00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:33,388 What's yourexcuse? 335 00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,737 I was dressing up as Eddie, 336 00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:36,652 but then I got worried Emery would feel left out, 337 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,523 and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, 338 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,525 so I put my own clothes back on. 339 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:42,223 Dude, nobody cares who you dress as. 340 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,138 Yeah, we wouldn't be upset. 341 00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,530 Yeah, bro, it's all out of love. 342 00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:46,793 Just go change, and we will too. 343 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,620 Hang on, hang on, hang on. 344 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,448 Let's not be too hasty here, fellas. 345 00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:52,407 Not to strum my own viola here, 346 00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:55,192 but we all do look pretty cute dressed as me. 347 00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:59,022 Hmm. I did put a lot of thoughtand time into my bangs. 348 00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,763 Not to mention it took me 30 minutes 349 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,199 to stuff myself into these shorts. 350 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,027 I had to wear my thinnest underwear. 351 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,420 Look at us. 352 00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:06,813 Three Evans, one Halloween? 353 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:10,033 We have to promise not to run tonight, 354 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,601 because these shorts are up there. 355 00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:17,345 Jessica, we hit up almost everyhouse in this neighborhood. 356 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,608 I'm starting to think this Brain-head girl doesn't exist. 357 00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,044 Maybe we should just call it. 358 00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:21,958 Oh, come on! 359 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:24,221 Just a few more houses, please? 360 00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:26,049 We've got to be close. 361 00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:27,224 I can feel it in my gut. 362 00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:28,791 That's all the gum. You're not supposed to swallow it. 363 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,620 Well, they shouldn't have made it taste so good. 364 00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,187 All right, one more house and then Cattleman's. 365 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,623 Fine. 366 00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,062 Trick-or-treat! 367 00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:42,022 Do you happen to have a sister who likes to read? 368 00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:44,024 Specifically, adult sci-fi noir? 369 00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,939 Oh, you mean my little sister, Henrietta? 370 00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,941 She and her nerd friends went to the graveyard 371 00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,638 to have some stupid book party. 372 00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,988 The graveyard, of course! 373 00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:53,598 Really? So you do have a fan club. 374 00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,600 Well, a cult. 375 00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:56,993 Thank you for your help. 376 00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:59,430 Take care of these wrappers for me? 377 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,432 Another Halloween miracle! 378 00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:03,086 The graveyard is on the way to the restaurant. 379 00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,480 We can go see your fans and still get to Cattleman's in time. 380 00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:06,873 We're not going to the graveyard. 381 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:07,917 Wait, what? 382 00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:08,962 We're going to the school. 383 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,224 The school? 384 00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:12,617 No, she specifically said they're at the graveyard. 385 00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:15,925 Yes, but in my book, the graveyard isthe school. 386 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:18,101 That's where the killer buried all the bodies. 387 00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:19,929 Did you not read the book till the end? 388 00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:21,235 Of...course I did. 389 00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:24,064 Um, but, again, I know Halloween, 390 00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,892 and no kid goes to a school today. 391 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,110 Kids go to graveyards. 392 00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:28,459 I am the detective here. 393 00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:30,331 Look, I never told anyone this, 394 00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,637 but Jennifer Hong is based... 395 00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:34,901 on Jessica Huang. 396 00:13:34,944 --> 00:13:36,859 Okay, fine. Do whatever you want. 397 00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:39,079 I'm going to my haunted house at Cattleman's. 398 00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:44,127 Well, instead of a Mad Cow, you should've been a baby, 399 00:13:44,171 --> 00:13:46,782 because that's what you're acting like! 400 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,133 Here you go. 401 00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:51,091 Happy Halloween. 402 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,527 How cute. So cute. 403 00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:54,529 Trick-or-treat!Trick-or-treat!Trick-or-treat! 404 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,357 Hey! 405 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,664 If my instincts are correct,you're Buffy the Vampire Slayer 406 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:00,491 and...? 407 00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,580 And I'm Marvin the angel! 408 00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:03,581 No, it's just Angel. 409 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:04,931 I don't watch her programs. 410 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:07,150 So, guys, uh, who are you supposed to be? 411 00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:09,152 Why don't you guess? 412 00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,371 Why don't you guess?Why don't you guess? 413 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,982 Oh, my God! Three Evans! 414 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,377 Three Evans, that'd be Mommy's dream. 415 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,335 Yeah,I can see it now. And I like it. 416 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,816 I'm Evan, and my waistline doubles as my nipple line. 417 00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:24,385 I organize my undies by the color of the rainbow! 418 00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,300 Oh, what light spectrum do youuse 419 00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:28,693 to organize your unmentionables? 420 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:31,044 I discovered sports because of Brandi Chastain. 421 00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,132 Hey! 422 00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,047 And by "sports," I mean my anatomy! 423 00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:37,311 I was just trying to have some fun, 424 00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,748 until you mother-brothers decided to ruin it! 425 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,534 Ooh. That's a new walk. 426 00:14:43,578 --> 00:14:45,014 I think the joke's over. 427 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:46,494 Yeah, I know. 428 00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,332 Louis, you forgot the decorations in the van, 429 00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:01,030 so I brought them here before I went to the school! 430 00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,164 Hello? 431 00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:06,122 Louis? 432 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:11,214 Red! Don't die on me, damn it! 433 00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,128 Aah! 434 00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,303 Mrs. Huang? 435 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,175 Ohh! Thank God you're not dead. 436 00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:17,177 We would have had to disclose when we sell the place. 437 00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:25,011 What the hell is going on? 438 00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:28,144 I can't tell you. Louis swore me to secrecy. 439 00:15:28,188 --> 00:15:29,580 We took a blood oath. 440 00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:31,408 Well, Idid. Louis is squeamish. 441 00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:33,367 Are you really gonna make me ask twice? 442 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:34,585 All right, fine. 443 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:37,197 I scare easily, and Louis said I could hang out here, 444 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,981 away from the Halloween madness,if I kept his secret. 445 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,157 That's not what I was asking. I wanna know -- 446 00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:43,159 Why I was sleeping facedown? Fine! 447 00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:45,640 I have extreme back pain, and it's the only way I can get comfortable. 448 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,990 I don't care how you rest. I want to know w-- 449 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:49,252 How I first hurt my back? 450 00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:51,254 It was 1997, last day of autumn, 451 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,821 Trish bet me I couldn't do a handstand. 452 00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:54,214 Tell me... 453 00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,781 what Louis... 454 00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:57,782 did. 455 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,001 I'm sorry, I can't. 456 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,003 Well, here we are. 457 00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,396 This was bound to happen. 458 00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:05,138 His real wife and his work wife,caught in a conflict. 459 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,360 It would be such a shame 460 00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:13,015 if all of these sugar packets fell on the floor. 461 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,016 The assistant manager 462 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,410 would have to bend over and pick them all up. 463 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:18,368 Oh, you wouldn't. 464 00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:22,372 Oops. 465 00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:24,418 Oh! My L5-S1! 466 00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,159 Okay, I'll tell you everything! 467 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,077 Hey, Grandma. Nice Cartman. 468 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,862 He notices when they kill Kenny. 469 00:16:33,905 --> 00:16:35,516 Evan's inside. 470 00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:37,039 He's upset. 471 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,301 I don't even understand why. 472 00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:40,260 It was his idea for us to dress up as him. 473 00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,044 We were just trying to have fun. 474 00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,915 How would you like it if I dressed up 475 00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:47,223 like a goofy giant or Johnny Fragile Hands? 476 00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:48,224 Hmm? 477 00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,269 Goofy?! 478 00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:50,444 Fragile? 479 00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,098 Delicate, sure, but fragile?! 480 00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,229 You see? 481 00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:55,884 It doesn't feel great being mocked, does it? 482 00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,454 Come on, Emery. Let's go make this up to him. 483 00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,760 Here's your sleeping bag, G-Ma. 484 00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:06,286 No, Kenny! This is my pot pie! 485 00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:09,767 Where are my Cheesy Poofs?! Where are my Cheesy Poofs?! 486 00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,292 Screw you guys! I'm going home! 487 00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,211 Jessica: You found us! 488 00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:19,777 Good sleuthing! 489 00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:22,084 It is so nice to see so many characters 490 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:24,869 from "A Case of a Knife to the Brain" in one place! 491 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:26,958 The one-armed sea captain... 492 00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:29,091 the clumsy crane operator... 493 00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,485 the anemic ski instructor... 494 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:32,964 Bazooka Phil. 495 00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:35,184 In the original draft, 496 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:37,012 all of these characters were prostitutes. 497 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,013 Henrietta: What? 498 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,971 Wait, how do you know that? 499 00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:42,235 Because I am the original Brain-head. 500 00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:43,236 I wrote it. 501 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,153 It's her! 502 00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:49,764 I can't believe the mind behind"A Case of a Knife to the Brain" 503 00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:50,765 is at our party! 504 00:17:50,808 --> 00:17:52,897 We're all huge fans of your book. 505 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:55,248 Ohh! I wish there were more of you. 506 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,163 Us too! 507 00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:59,295 Well, do you know what helps boost sales for a work of art? 508 00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:01,906 My idol, Stephen King, 509 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:04,126 just got hit by a minivan this summer. 510 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,519 And while he was in critical condition, 511 00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:07,564 sales of his books skyrocketed. 512 00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:09,653 What are you saying? 513 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,265 There's a switchblade in my purse. 514 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:16,747 Take it out, aim for the fleshy part of my thigh. 515 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:18,271 Good luck finding it, but once you do, just -- 516 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,055 All right, show's over, kids! 517 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,404 She's kidding. 518 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:23,189 Thank you! Good night! 519 00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:25,147 I set up refreshments out back. 520 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:27,976 I knew it! 521 00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,369 How did you figure it out? 522 00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:32,415 Please, Louis, I'm a detective novelist. 523 00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:33,721 Plus, Trent told me everything. 524 00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:36,985 I need more confidants my own age. 525 00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:38,291 Fine, I planned the whole thing. 526 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,336 I realized no matter how much I told you, 527 00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:42,599 you'd have to experiencethe magic of Halloween yourself, 528 00:18:42,643 --> 00:18:45,341 so I planted Henrietta at the costume contest. 529 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:48,344 Then you lured me into that wild goose chase, 530 00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,346 just to get me to go trick-or-treating in costume. 531 00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,435 Well, you went through more gumthan I expected, 532 00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:53,436 but I saw you having fun. 533 00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:57,962 It wasfun emptying those "Please take one" bowls. 534 00:18:58,006 --> 00:18:59,094 Idiots. 535 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,313 Honor system? 536 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,315 I'm a demon doll. 537 00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:04,404 It only went wrong when you didn't listen about the graveyard. 538 00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:06,362 After that curveball, I needed an excuse 539 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,451 to get the kids from the graveyard to here. 540 00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:12,194 Well, you finally got me to like Halloween. 541 00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:14,196 I just wanted to spend my favorite holiday 542 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,328 with my favorite person. 543 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:17,765 I give it a 76 out of 100. 544 00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:20,333 A passing score. I'll take it. 545 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,121 Yo, what we did was mad messed up. 546 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,297 Sorry, let me get my bangs out of my face 547 00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:30,343 so I can tell you I'm sorry too. 548 00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:31,822 We took it a little too far. 549 00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,911 Yo, yo, yo, did I tell you I have a girlfriend 550 00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:34,912 and I like rap music? 551 00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:38,438 That was a pretty good Eddie. 552 00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:40,831 We're sorry. We didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 553 00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:43,617 It's okay. I overreacted. 554 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,227 I didn't mean to ruin our Halloween. 555 00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:46,359 Ruined? It's not ruined. 556 00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,361 See, the cool thing about being older 557 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,145 is you can trick-or-treat waylater. 558 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,451 But who are we gonna go as? 559 00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:53,714 Hola. 560 00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,938 All right! Some feminine insects! 561 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,592 We're Powerpuff Girls. 562 00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:03,724 Oh. 563 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:06,030 Well, great costumes, whatever they are. 564 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:09,599 Thanks for handing out candy with me. 565 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:12,472 It's the least I could do afterall you did for me tonight. 566 00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:13,690 Fun, right? 567 00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:16,606 It's not as dumb as it looks. 568 00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:17,694 Raisins?! 569 00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:19,914 You ruined my childhood, bitches! 570 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:21,916 Oh! What a holiday. 571 00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,701 Oh! I just caught one in my mouth! Gross! 572 00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:27,574 I'll draw their fire. You go get the big carrots, and then we'll smack 'em! 573 00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:53,077 Can't say I feel confident in this. 574 00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:55,863 You? At least you're covered.I'm showing a lot of skin here. 575 00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:57,125 I can't breathe! 576 00:20:57,168 --> 00:20:58,909 I look like a mariachi Winnie the Pooh! 577 00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:01,477 Mine still fits! 578 00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,305 Glad I skipped breakfast. 579 00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,786 Sorry, Evan, I don't think this is gonna work. 580 00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:08,571 Just go grab the sheetfrom our beds and go as ghosts. 581 00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:11,487 Fine, but not before one last salute 582 00:21:11,531 --> 00:21:13,141 for old times' sake. 583 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:19,539 All: Hunh! The Three Amigos! 584 00:21:19,582 --> 00:21:21,758 Something ripped. But I don't know where. 585 00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:22,803 Close your eyes! 586 00:21:26,589 --> 00:21:28,199 Think that's a good idea. 587 00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:29,549 Hmm. 41929

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