All language subtitles for Baby Daddy 3x20 - All Aboard the Love Train_Subtítulos01.UND

OKAY, I HAVE A QUESTION:

THIS SAUCE RECIPE CALLS
FOR A CUP OF ONIONS,

BUT ALL OF OUR CUPS
ARE DIFFERENT SIZES.

RELAX, DUDE.

I'M PRETTY SURE
THEY ALWAYS MEAN
THE BIGGEST.

I'M JUST TRYING TO DO
SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR GEORGIE

AND I WANT TO DO IT RIGHT.

THIS ISN'T TOO WEIRD
FOR YOU, IS IT?
US DATING?

NO, NOT AT ALL.
I CAN TELL WHEN TWO PEOPLE
ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER,

LIKE YOU AND GEORGIE...

- LOOK AT YOU BE ALL MATURE.
- ...AND ME AND RILEY.

LOOK AT YOU
BEING ALL IRRATIONAL.

NO, DUDE, IT'S TRUE.
WE'VE BEEN HANGING OUT
A LOT LATELY

AND I CAN TELL THAT
SOMETHING HAS CHANGED.

YEAH, SHE DOESN'T SEEM
TO WANT YOU DEAD
SO MUCH ANYMORE.

I KNOW. RIGHT?
IT'S AWESOME!

I DEFINITELY WON
HER FRIENDSHIP BACK,

NOW I JUST GOTTA
CONVINCE HER THAT WE'RE
DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER.

- HOW DO YOU PLAN ON DOING THAT?
- I JUST GOTTA FIGURE OUT

A WAY FOR US TO SPEND
SOME TIME ALONE...

BUT I GOTTA BE SUBTLE
AND NOT TOO OBVIOUS.

KNOCK KNOCK!
HEY, SO GUESS WHO GETS
TO SPEND 30 HOURS

ON SOME STUPID TRAIN
TO GO TO SOME STUPID
FAMILY REUNION.

I'LL GO! CAN I GO?
LET ME GO! IT'LL BE FUN.

NOT SO SUBTLE,
BUT YOU'VE GOT
THE OBVIOUS PART DOWN.

- STILL AFRAID OF FLYING?
- OH NO, I LOVE FLYING.

IT'S THE PLUMMETING
30,000 FEET TO MY DEATH THAT
I'M JUST NOT A HUGE FAN OF.

SO DANNY CAN
WATCH EMMA

AND WE'LL HAVE OURSELVES
A LITTLE TRAIN ADVENTURE.

SHOULD BE FUN...

AND INNOCENT.

- WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?
- NOTHING.

WHY WOULD I BE UP
TO ANYTHING?

YOU ARE SO DISTRUSTFUL.

WE'LL BE
ALL ALONE, RIGHT?

AND NOW I SEE
WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.

OKAY.
BEN, IF WE DO THIS,

"ALL ABOARD" ONLY MEANS
"GET ON THE TRAIN."

OKAY?

WE ARE JUST FRIENDS.
YOU GOT IT?

YEAH, I GOT IT.

( mouths )

( softly ) EMMA.

( theme music plays )

♪ IT'S AMAZING
HOW THE UNEXPECTED ♪

♪ CAN TAKE YOUR LIFE
AND CHANGE DIRECTION. ♪

- ( clicks )
- ( clears throat )
TUCKER DOBBS AUDITION

FOR "THE MARY HART SHOW,"
TAKE ONE.

- OKAY.
- THREE...

TWO, ONE.

♪ MARY PUTS THE "HART"
IN "HEART" ♪

♪ MARY! ♪

HELLO, EVERYONE, AND WELCOME
TO "THE MARY HART SHOW."

I'M MARY HART,

AND I'D LIKE
TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO MY NEW CO-HOST.

HELLO, AMERICA.
I'M TUCKER DOBBS.

NOW SIT BACK, RELAX
AND LET ME TUCK YOU IN.

( laughs )

"TUCK YOU IN"?

- YEAH.
- CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU'VE MANAGED
TO BE BORING AND CREEPY.

OKAY, WOULD IT KILL YOU
TO BE A LITTLE SUPPORTIVE?

HEY, YOU WANT SUPPORT,
STOP WEARING BOXERS.

YOU SAID MARY WAS LOOKING
FOR A CO-HOST.

I MEAN, I'M SURE
THAT SHE WANTS ONE
WITH SOME PIZZAZ.

WELL, THE CO-HOST WAS
THE NETWORK'S IDEA.

I MEAN, ALL SHE WANTS IS
A BIGGER SHOE BUDGET

- AND A MASSEUSE NAMED JULIO.
- YEAH.

WELL, TUCKER, I THINK
YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT.

REALLY? YOU THINK
I'D MAKE A GOOD CO-HOST?

NO, I THINK YOU COULD PASS
FOR A MASSEUSE NAMED JULIO.

WAZA.
( mimics gunshots )

ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
HOW'S THIS? HOW'S THIS?

HELLO, LADIES.
LET ME TUCKLE YOUR FANCY.

( laughs )

WELL, I DON'T KNOW
IF THAT'S A GOOD INTRO,

BUT IT DOES EXPLAIN
WHY YOU'RE SINGLE.

OH, BEN, THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR GETTING THE TICKETS.

THAT'S SO SWEET.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVE
OUR OWN COMPARTMENT.

THAT IS SO...

JUST LIKE YOU,

BECAUSE THERE IS
ONLY ONE BED.

WHY IS THERE
ONLY ONE BED?

AND WHAT EXACTLY
DID YOU THINK

WAS GOING TO HAPPEN
IN THIS ONE BED?

I'M SURE
IT'S JUST A MISTAKE.

I HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH THIS.

AH. MR. WHEELER,

THE BED'S BEEN MADE UP
JUST AS YOU REQUESTED.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU
AND THE MISSUS HAVE QUITE
THE ROMANTIC NIGHT PLANNED.

ROMANTIC NIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW
WHERE HE'D GET SUCH
AN INAPPROPRIATE IDEA.

FROM YOUR E-MAIL.

BEN WHEELER, I--

I TOLD YOU THIS TRAIN
WASN'T GOING TO SEX TOWN.

GOD, YOU HAVE
A ONE-TRACK MIND.

GET OUT. GET OUT.
GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT.

OH GOD. BOTH OF YOU.
( sighs )

YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO MAKE UP THE BED
AFTER DINNER.

WELL, IT'S DINNERTIME
SOMEWHERE.

( Bonnie laughs )

And that's all the time
we have for today.

Until next time,
let's tuck it out, America.

SO? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WHEN THEY TOLD ME TUCKER
WANTED TO SUBMIT A TAPE,

MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS, "WHO?"

BUT NOW I HAVE TO SAY
I THINK I FOUND
MY NEW CO-HOST.

REALLY?! YOU DID?!

OH, THIS IS LIKE
MY DREAM COME TRUE.

- SHE IS HILARIOUS.
- ( laughs )

YES, SHE IS.

WAIT WAIT WAIT, HOLD UP.
HE-- SHE WHO-SH-- WHO?

BONNIE. SHE IS EXACTLY
WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR
IN A CO-HOST--

SOMEONE WHO MAKES
MY PRETTY AND FUNNY
SEEM PRETTIER AND FUNNIER.

HOW SOON DO YOU THINK
WE CAN GET HER IN
FOR A CAMERA TEST?

WAIT WAIT WAIT,
BONNIE WHEELER?

OKAY, ARE YOU SURE
THERE WASN'T ANYONE ELSE

IN THAT AUDITION THAT
MIGHT'VE CAUGHT YOUR EYE?

WELL, YOU WERE,
BUT YOU WERE JUST
BORING AND CREEPY.

( chuckles )

MARY, I WAS
JUST BEING SILLY,

YOU SILLY.
( laughs )

- DON'T EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN.
- YES, MA'AM.

YES, MA'AM. OKAY.

LOOK, THE ONLY PROBLEM IS

I'M JUST NOT
SO SURE THAT BONNIE IS
THAT INTERESTED IN THE JOB.

( shouts ) YEAH!

( laughs )

OH YEAH!

YES, I'M GONNA BE ON TV!

( sniffling )

OH, YOU STOP JUDGING ME.
YOU CRY ALL THE TIME.

- WHAT DOES IT SAY TO DO NEXT?
- ( cellphone ringing )

- ( beeps )
- HELLO?

SO THIS WHOLE RILEY THING
IS A COMPLETE DISASTER.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I'VE TRIED TO TELL YOU THAT
A GABILLION TIMES,

AND NOW YOU'RE READY
TO HEAR IT?

- ( call waiting beeps )
- HANG ON A SEC.

- HELLO?
- HI. OH MY GOD,

WHY IS YOUR BROTHER
JUST SUCH A JERK?

WEIRD. I WAS
ABOUT TO ANSWER
THE SAME QUESTION.

WE JUST GOT BACK
TO FRIENDS

AND NOW HE WANTS TO SKIP
RIGHT TO BENEFITS.

CAN YOU HOLD ON
FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS?

- YEAH.
- ( beeps )

I THINK
YOU SHOULD MOVE ON.

( scoffs ) MOVE ON?
I HAVE MOVED ON.

HE'S THE ONE
WHO KEEPS MOVING IN.

ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME?

- SORRY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
- ( beeps )

- BEN?
- YEAH.

I THINK YOU
JUST NEED TO MOVE ON.

MOVE ON? I WAS
JUST STARTING TO MOVE IN.

YEAH, I KNOW.
I HEARD.

DANNY, SHE THINKS
ALL I CARE ABOUT IS SEX.

- AND YOU DON'T?
- ( chuckles ) WELL,

I MEAN, YEAH,
IT'S PRETTY HIGH UP
ON THE LIST,

- BUT THAT'S NOT
THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS TRIP.
- ( beeps )

LISTEN, I THINK
YOU SHOULD JUST RELAX

- AND STOP BEING SO PUSHY.
- ( laughs ) RELAX?

I-- I AM RELAXED.

I AM ABOUT TO JUST PUSHY HIM
RIGHT OFF THIS TRAIN.

- UM, HOLD PLEASE.
- ( beeps )

- BEN?
- YEAH.

I THINK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY
JUST LAY LOW FOR A WHILE.

WELL, SINCE SHE KICKED ME
OUT OF THE CABIN,

IT'S GONNA BE KIND OF HARD
TO FIND A PLACE TO DO THAT.

- UM, HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
- ( beeps )

I THINK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY
JUST LAY LOW FOR A WHILE.

DUDE, ARE YOU
HAVING A STROKE?

YOU LITERALLY
JUST SAID THAT.

- DAMN IT.
- ( beeps )

- RILEY?
- YEAH.

YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT BEN.

I THINK HE'S JUST GONNA
LAY LOW FOR A WHILE.

( scoffs )
WELL, GOD KNOWS
HE'S BEEN TRYING TO LAY

JUST EVERYWHERE ELSE.

- OH MY GOD. BEN.
- YEAH, I GET IT.

- HE'S A JERK. I KNOW.
- NO NO NO, HIS SCREENSAVER--

IT'S A PICTURE OF US.
OH MY GOD, I REMEMBER
THIS DAY SO WELL.

I JUST-- I WANTED IT
TO LAST FOREVER.

GOD, WHAT--
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ME?

WHY AM I FIGHTING THIS?

I HAVE BEEN
PUSHING HIM AWAY
FOR SO LONG

THAT I CAN'T
EVEN REMEMBER WHY.

OBVIOUSLY, HE WANTS
TO BE WITH ME,

AND GOD KNOWS I CAN'T STOP
THINKING ABOUT HIM.

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SAY YES.

AHH!

THANK YOU SO MUCH, DANNY.

- YOU WERE AMAZING.
- ( beeps )

HELLO? ( gasps )

I WON'T SAY ANYTHING
IF YOU DON'T.

( both laughing )

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

TABLE FOR ONE?

LOOK AT HIM--
LAUGHING, FLIRTING.

IT'S-- IT'S LIKE
HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.

OH, PEACHES,
IT'S LIKE I ALWAYS SAY--

WOMEN ARE LIKE TRAINS.

YOU MISS ONE,
THERE'S ALWAYS
ANOTHER ONE COMING.

WELL, THIS ONE IS GOING.

SO THIS RILEY GIRL
SOUNDS PRETTY SPECIAL.

OH, SHE'S NOT JUST SPECIAL.

SHE'S THE ONE.

I JUST WISH I KNEW HOW
TO MAKE HER SEE THAT.

OKAY, EMMA,

"ADD EGG, ONION
AND SALT TO TASTE."

TASTE LIKE WHAT?
SALT TASTES LIKE SALT.

- ( cellphone rings, beeps )
- HELLO?

- DANNY.
- OH, TUCKER, PERFECT TIMING.

- HEY, I NEED SOME ADVICE.
- YEAH, ME TOO.

HOW MANY TABLESPOONS
ARE IN A TEASPOON?

I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE LIKE 30?

- OH, THANKS, DUDE,
I WAS WAY UNDER.
- ( beeps )

( clicks, ringing )

- WHAT'S UP?
- DANNY, I'M THE ONE
THAT CALLED YOU.

I KNOW.
I SAID, "WHAT'S UP?"

NO. NO NO NO, BEFORE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
NEVER MIND.

ALL RIGHT,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO

IF ANOTHER PLAYER TRIED
TO TAKE YOUR POSITION
ON THE TEAM

AND YOU WANTED
TO GET RID OF HER

BUT STILL SEEM
LIKE THE NICE GUY?

EASY. THERE ARE
NO GIRLS IN HOCKEY.

- PROBLEM SOLVED.
- ( call waiting beeps )

- HANG ON A SEC.
- ( beeps )

- HELLO?
- OH MY GOD, DANNY,
I LOST BEN.

DID YOU CHECK
THE LOST AND FOUND?

NO, HE MET SOMEONE ELSE.

WHAT ARE--
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
OF THAT EVEN HAPPENING?

WELL, IT'S BEN, SO 100%?

SO WHAT DO I DO NOW?
DO I JUST WALK AWAY?

- HANG ON A SEC.
- ( beeps )

OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL:

YOU NEED TO FIGHT
FOR WHAT YOU WANT,
NO MATTER WHAT.

OTHERWISE, YOU'RE NEVER
GONNA GET IT.

FIGHT FOR WHAT I WANT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT.

FOR ONCE,
I-- I AM GOING TO FIGHT.

- RILEY?
- THANK YOU, DANNY.

THAT WAS--
THAT WAS REALLY GOOD ADVICE.

- ( sighs )
- ( beeps )

- TUCKER?
- YUP.

STILL HERE.
I READ A BOOK
AND KNITTED A SCARF.

- STILL HERE.
- OKAY, HERE'S THE DEAL:

YOU NEED TO FIGHT
FOR WHAT YOU WANT,

OTHERWISE,
YOU WILL NEVER GET IT.
DON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.

DON'T THINK
OF ANYONE ELSE'S FEELINGS
OTHER THAN YOUR OWN.

( chuckles )
THANKS, DUDE.

YOU KNOW,
THAT'S REALLY GOOD ADVICE.

YEAH, I'M KIND OF ON A ROLL.

OH, EXCUSE ME,
MR. PORTER GUY,

COULD YOU MAYBE HELP ME
WITH SOMETHING IN HERE?

( chuckles )

WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE
TO GO A DAY

WITHOUT GETTING HIT ON.

I'M TUCKER DOBBS.

DUDE, PERFECT, RIGHT?

HEY, TUCK TUCK.
THANKS FOR WARMING MY CHAIR.

NOW HOW ABOUT WARMING
MY TUMMY WITH SOME COFFEE?

- CHOP CHOP.
( clicks tongue )
- ( scoffs )

I CANNOT BELIEVE
THAT YOU ARE REALLY
GOING THROUGH WITH THIS.

WELL, I'M SORRY.
BUT THE MARY HART WANTS
WHAT THE MARY HART WANTS.

AND MARY HART WANTS ME,
NOT YOU.

- ( both chuckle )
- THIS IS MY CALLING.

RING RING.

OH, WAIT. OH, LOOK,

I'M MY CALLING...
( laughs )

CALLING TO TELL YOUR CALLING
THAT YOU STOLE MY CALLING.

( grunts )

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M A PROFESSIONAL,

AND MY JOB IS TO HELP YOU.

WELL, HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

I JUST HAVE TO
READ THESE CARDS.

YEAH, FINE, YOU KNOW?
JUST READ THE CARDS.

THAT IS IF YOU WANNA
TOTALLY SUCK.

( laughs )
I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT?

A LITTLE INSIDE ADVICE:
JUST LOSE THE CARDS.

- REALLY?
- YEAH, MARY RESPONDS
TO SPONTANEITY.

- OH MY GOD,
THANK YOU, TUCKER.
- YEAH.

OH GOD, I WOULD'VE MADE
A FOOL OF MYSELF.

- NOBODY WANTS THAT.
- I HEAR YOU.

( sighs )
OH, ANYTHING ELSE?

- ACTUALLY, YEAH.
- OH YEAH? GOOD, GIVE IT.

YEAH, TOUCH HER
AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

- OH. OKAY.
- MAY LOVES TO BE TOUCHED.

AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT TIME.
THE LONGER YOUR ANECDOTES,
THE BETTER.

AND REMEMBER: ANY THOUGHT,
NO MATTER HOW SMALL, SILLY

OR OFFENSIVE IT MAY SEEM,
JUST THROW IT OUT THERE.

THROW IT OUT THERE.
OKAY. OKAY.

OH, HERE'S MARY.

OKAY, PEOPLE, I HAVE
A CHARITY EVENT AT 7:00,

BUT THAT MEANS I HAVE
TO BE THERE AT 6:45

- TO FIND OUT WHAT IT'S ABOUT.
- ( Bonnie and Tucker laugh )

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE,
ARE WE READY TO MAKE
SOME MEMORIES?

- YES.
- ( snaps )
I KNOW I AM.

( laughs )
BONNIE WHEELER CAMERA TEST.

AND WE ARE ROLLING
IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE...

HELLO, EVERYBODY AND WELCOME
TO "THE MARY HART SHOW."

I'M MARY HART AND THIS IS
MY NEW CO-HOST...

- BONNIE WHEELER!
- ...BONNIE WHEELER.
I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT.

BONNIE IS
A NEWLY-SINGLE MOM.

- SHE JUST MOVED HERE TO--
- WHO IS DEFINITELY IN THE MOOD
TO MINGLE...

WITH YOUNG PEOPLE.

MALE PEOPLE.
YOUNG MALE PEOPLE.

DID I MENTION
I WAS SINGLE?
( laughs )

OH, NOW THAT IS
A JUICY STORY.

IT TURNS OUT
MY FIRST HUSBAND WAS GAY,

WHICH IS WHY I'M MAKING SURE
MY SECOND ONE IS RICH.

YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT,
RIGHT, MARE? HUH?

( laughs )

( deep voice )
YOU KNOW, MARY HART.

( porter knocks )
MRS. WHEELER?

YES, COME IN.
COME IN.

HI. FINALLY.
DID YOU GIVE BEN MY NOTE?

- WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
- I'M SORRY.

I HAVE THIS BAD HABIT
OF TAKING CARE OF PEOPLE
WHO TIP ME FIRST.

HERE HERE HERE.

RELAX.
HE'LL BE HERE
ANY MINUTE.

( clears throat )

( yelps )

RILEY, HEY, I GOT YOUR...

RILEY?

- IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
- YEAH, I GUESS I JUST
MISUNDERSTOOD.

THEN SHOULD WE FINISH
WHAT WE STARTED?

YUP, AND IF WE DO IT RIGHT,

TONIGHT IS
GOING TO BE AMAZING.

OH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA

HOW AMAZING
IT IS GOING TO BE.

OH!

( laughing )

( snorts )

AND THAT IS WHY
YOU NEVER MIX

BOX WINE
WITH ROLLERBLADES.

TRUE STORY.

OH! THAT LOOKS LIKE
THAT IS ALL THE TIME
WE HAVE FOR TODAY.

FOR "THE MARY HART SHOW,"
I'M BONNIE WHEELER.

( mutters )
THAT'S YOUR CUE.

AND SHE'S MARY HART!
GOOD NIGHT, AMERICA!

- ( laughs )
- Tucker: AND WE'RE OUT!

- ALL RIGHT,
GREAT JOB, EVERYONE.
- RIGHT!

OH, THAT WAS AMAZING!
OH, MARY, I JUST HAVE TO--

- AND MARY HAS TO GO.
RUN ALONG NOW.
- OKAY.

- THAT WOMAN IS WILD.
- YES, I'M AFRAID SO.

- SHE NEVER EVEN LOOKED
AT HER CARDS.
- NOT A ONE.

- SHE TOTALLY WINGED IT.
- NEVER KNEW WHAT SHE WAS
GONNA SAY.

- AND I LOVED IT!
- YOU WHAT?

IT WAS INVIGORATING.

I MEAN, I SHOULD
BE MORE LIKE BONNIE.

I AM SO MARRIED TO MY CARDS.

( scoffs )
BUT YOU LOVE THE CARDS.

YOU KNOW,
ACTUALLY, MARE-MARE,

LOSING THE CARDS
WAS TUCKER'S IDEA.

- HE IS A GREAT PRODUCER.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT.

CONGRATULATIONS, TUCKER.
I AM MAKING YOU OUR NEW
SENIOR PRODUCER.

REALLY? OH MY GOD,
THANK YOU.

( gasps )
I'M SO SORRY.

AND, BONNIE,
YOU'VE GOT THE JOB.

- ( laughs )
- YOU CAN START ON MONDAY.

OH! THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

OH, THIS IS GOING
TO BE SO AMAZING.

YOU WILL NOT
REGRET THIS, MARY.

ME AND YOU,
WE'RE A TEAM,
YOU KNOW?

LIKE THIS FABULOUS
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER ACT.

YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE LIKE
THE WISE, OLD SAGE

AND I'M THE YOUNG BUCK,
LEARNING FROM THE MASTER.

( laughs )
OH, THIS IS GONNA BE
SO MUCH FUN, MARE BEAR.

OH! ( laughing )

WHERE'S...?
( continues laughing )

SO, AS YOUR NEW
SENIOR PRODUCER,

IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO FOR YOU?

YES. YOU CAN FIRE
BONNIE WHEELER.

I HOPE IT'S NOT
TOO AWKWARD FOR YOU.

( chuckles )

OH, IT WON'T
BE AWKWARD AT ALL.

♪ TUCKER PUTS THE HART
IN MARY, TUCKER. ♪

SO, WOULD YOU
LIKE ME TO POUR?

CAN'T DRINK
IF YOU DON'T POUR.

( scoffs ) REALLY?

REALLY?
CANDLES, WINE,

A GIRL WHO'S NAME
I'M SURE YOU'VE JUST
ALREADY FORGOTTEN.

- IT'S SAMANTHA.
- IT'S IRRELEVANT.

RILEY, ARE YOU OKAY?
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

YOU! YOU!
YOU HAPPENED TO ME.
THAT'S WHAT.

AND DON'T EVEN TRY
TO TELL ME THAT THIS ISN'T
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE,

BECAUSE IF YOU SAY THAT THIS
ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE,

I WILL SCREAM,
AND WE ALL KNOW JUST EXACTLY
WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE.

ME SCREAMING!

OKAY, RILEY,
YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN.

OH MY GOD!
I AM CALM, OKAY?

I AM AS CALM
AS A CUCUMBER.

I'M PRETTY SURE
THAT'S "COOL AS A..."

OH, STUFF IT,
LIQUOR LADY!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I WAS
ABOUT TO THROW MYSELF AT YOU!

I WAS-- I WAS WILLING
TO GIVE US ANOTHER CHANCE!

WE WERE GONNA HAVE SEX.

HEY, CAN I GET
THIS DINNER TO GO?

( scoffs )
OH. OH, SURE.

LET ME PACK THIS UP FOR YOU.

HA! ( laughs )

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?

I THINK YOU'RE
GONNA FEEL REALLY SILLY

WHEN I TELL YOU
WHO THAT DINNER WAS FOR.

I DIDN'T DO ALL OF THIS
FOR SOME WAITRESS I JUST MET.

ACTUALLY,
I'M A BARTENDER.

OH, SWEETIE,
NOBODY CARES.

I DID THIS FOR YOU.

AND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES
YOU TURN ME DOWN,

I'M STILL GONNA
BE HERE WAITING.

RILEY, YOU ARE
THE ONLY ONE FOR ME.

OH.

( chuckles )
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

( clears throat )

I'LL HAVE A WHITE WINE.

I GUARANTEE THIS IS
GONNA BE THE BEST LASAGNA
YOU'VE EVER HAD.

AND FAIR WARNING,

I STILL CANNOT
FIND MY WATCH,

SO EAT CAREFULLY.

HERE YOU GO.

AH. JUST BECAUSE
ONE GIRL HAD TO CANCEL

DOESN'T MEAN
I CAN'T HAVE DINNER
WITH MY OTHER BEST GIRL.

- ( fusses )
- DON'T TELL GEORGIE,

- BUT YOU REALLY ARE
MY FAVORITE.
( door opens )

OKAY, THAT WAS OFFICIALLY
THE WORST DAY EVER.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.
IT WASN'T SO BAD.

( chuckles )
OOH, LASAGNA.

- HELP YOURSELF.
- OH, THAT MARY HART.

YOU KNOW, SHE SEEMS
SO SWEET AND INNOCENT.

DON'T LET HER FOOL YOU.
SHE IS EVIL.

SHE HAD THE NERVE
TO HIRE AND FIRE ME

ON THE SAME DAY.
OH, AND GET THIS--

SHE MADE POOR TUCKER HERE
DO HER DIRTY WORK FOR HER.

IT WAS AWFUL.

WELL, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

IT'S THE FIRST THING
I'VE EVER MADE.

OH MY GOD, HONEY,
IT SMELLS INCREDIBLE.

- UH. MMM, AND IT TASTES...
- ( silverware clatters )

- OH MY...
- ( gasps )

( both gag )

- OH MY GOD!
- MOVE!

- MOVE! YOU MOVE!
- OH GOD, I CAN STILL TASTE IT!

OH MY GOD,
IT'S STARTING TO GET LIGHT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
JUST... TALKING.

I KNOW.
THAT'S A FIRST FOR ME.

( laughs )

SO, I THINK WE GOT
THIS FRIEND THING DOWN.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO
BACK UP TO THE COMPARTMENT

AND NOT BE FRIENDS?

I WOULD ENJOY
NOT BEING YOUR FRIEND...

- ( door opens )
- ...VERY MUCH.

- ( notes chime )
- WE'LL BE ARRIVING
IN FIVE MINUTES, PEOPLE.

EVERYONE OFF THE TRAIN.
LAST STOP-- ORLANDO, FLORIDA.

LAND OF SUN, SURF
AND A FATHER I HAVEN'T
SPOKEN TO IN 15 YEARS.

( notes chime )

WOW. I GUESS
OUR TIMING'S A LITTLE OFF.

YOU WANNA GO BACK UP
AND PACK UP?

OH YEAH, ABOUT THAT--

UM, I MAY HAVE
THROWN YOUR LUGGAGE
OUT THE WINDOW.

- OKAY, I'M READY.
- ARE YOU SURE?

- THIS MAY HURT.
- I CAN HANDLE IT.

I MEAN,
I DIDN'T GET THE JOB,
BUT SOMEBODY HAD TO.

- SHE AS GOOD AS ME?
- WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT

THEY DEFINITELY HAVE
ALL THE QUALITIES

MARY'S LOOKING FOR
IN A CO-HOST.

Hello, everybody, and welcome
to "The Mary Hart Show."

I'M MARY HART
AND THIS IS MY NEW CO-HOST,

- JULIO.
- BUENOS DIAS.

ISN'T HE ADORABLE?

GOD, SHE'S GOOD.

MMM!