All language subtitles for A Minecraft movie

The overworld, the

biggest sandbox in the universe,

is full of epic tales,

millions and billions of them.

Well, guess what?

This one is all mine.

My name is Steve, and as a

child, I yearn for the mines.

But it didn't really work out.

Go on, get out of here.

So I did a terrible thing.

I grew up.

And just as I expected,

it was a massive bummer.

Hey, Steve, your

presentation's in five minutes.

Welcome to Steve's

Ultimate Resort Condominium.

Dubs are in the leg

of tennis in the back.

Every room has the

Gucci and the mini ball.

Welcome to Steve's.

Woo, welcome to Steve's.

I really put myself out there, and it

totally blew up in my face.

It was the kind of life that made a man

stare into his potatoes.

And then I remembered, I

couldn't give up on my dream.

Not yet.

The mines!

So I bought a pickaxe and a sweet helmet,

and this time, I was unstoppable.

Turns out my

adventure was just beginning.

I mined my brains out until I found two

mysterious artifacts.

This thingy and that cool thingy.

And when I put those two thingies

together, you guessed it.

It opened a portal to another world.

The Overworld.

This place blew my mind.

I'd never seen anything like it.

Turns out it was the place I'd been

looking for my whole life.

A world where anything you

can imagine, you can create.

This is my first house, my second house,

and my third house made

entirely of sheep's wool.

Pickhouse.

Life was good.

The only thing missing was

a friend to share it with.

And then this super angry wolf showed up.

So I tamed him with a crusty femur bone.

Yeah.

What?

Ah, boy.

Dennis, he like a

scratchy scratch on a nadis.

With him by my side,

my confidence soared.

Woo hoo!

Together we built endless masterpieces.

The more I built, the better I got.

Dennis, check it out.

Back up to stay here.

Turns out pandas love to party.

And cows.

Life was perfect.

And the years simply flew by.

Until one day I came

across some strange ruins.

Flint and Steve.

Dennis.

Turns out we just opened a portal to a

totally new dimension.

The Nether.

There was no joy or creativity at all.

Dennis.

These piglin brutes had

mined this realm into oblivion.

Led by Mount Gosha, the evil piglin

sorceress who ruled the place.

Who are you and why are you so round?

Leave the dark.

Take me instead.

No thanks.

I'll take both of you and that orb.

Let's get one thing straight.

Where I come from, we call this cube.

See then.

Mount Gosha had finally

got what she'd always wanted.

The orb of dominance.

The most powerful cube

shaped orb in the entire universe.

Listen up your pegs.

With this orb I will pillage the

overworld and all of

its gold will be ours.

I couldn't let this happen.

The overworld had saved me

and now I had to try to save it.

We have to stop her, Dennis.

So we escaped and stole back the orb.

The rumbling has escaped.

Find him and bring me that orb.

Hurry Dennis.

Take this to Earth.

Follow my set to 149 Holly Oak Drive.

You got that boy?

Come on boy.

You're the last hope for this world.

Run!

Go boy!

Run!

You got this Dennis.

I love you!

Dennis was a hero that day.

He ran like the wind.

I didn't know if I'd ever see him again.

But we had a world to save.

So he ran all the way

back to my house on Earth.

And hid the most powerful object of

existence under my water bed.

As long as the orb stays hidden, the

overworld will be safe.

I just pray some doofus doesn't find it.

I'm running now and I'm on my knees.

Been working so hard to fill my needs.

He...

In the late 1980s, Garrett Garrison took

the gaming world by storm.

Becoming the undisputed

champion of the hit arcade game,

Hunk City Rampage.

His mastery of this

two-player co-op shocked the world.

His effective use of the garbage toss

move earned him the nickname,

The Garbage Man.

He became the envy of the gaming world

after landing a lucrative

six-figure deal with Sizzler.

Yeah, baby!

One thing's for sure.

This kid had it all.

Here's the Garbage Man, Garretson.

No autographs.

Have a nice day.

Yeah! Super cold!

Garrett, The Garbage Man, to

what do we owe this pleasure?

Pleasure?

I think I come to

storage auctions for fun.

I'm a businessman, Darrell, an investor.

Well, I'm about to shovel some coal into

your choo-choo trade.

You're gonna love this next unit.

It's got a water bin.

It's got some pickaxes.

It's got a huge can of mixed nuts.

It's got an array of

unisex turquoise blouses.

That sounds terrible.

I think it's also got

a 1978 Atari Cosmos.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

1978 Atari Cosmos.

That's why to say, those things are worth

the frickin' fortune.

Heck yeah, they are.

Bro, if you make this happen for me, I

will strongly consider

hanging out with you.

You serious, bro?

Yep.

Two big buffaloes like

us out there in the wild.

We're in unisex turquoise blouses.

Oh, boy, that's gonna cause a commotion.

The ladies aren't

gonna know what this is.

And if you could keep the

hammer price under on you,

I'll make all your weird

fanboy dreams come true.

Okay?

Two loose cannons.

We're in turquoise blouses.

Yep.

Let's do it.

And we got $500.

$500 over here.

We got $500.

We got $600.

We got $600 over here.

Oh, can we hear you?

$700.

We got $700.

We got $700 here.

We got $800 over here.

We got $850.

Do we hear $850?

Do we hear $850 over here?

Do we hear any more?

Do we hear 900?

900.

900 is going once, 900 going twice, and

900 going three times

and sold to hometown hero

Garret the Garbage Man Garrison for $900.

I wouldn't cash that

for about six months.

What?

Yeah.

Come to Papa.

Cosmics.

Whoo!

Darryl, where is it?

I'm sorry.

I didn't check the box.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Where's that car?

There's no car in here!

That does not mean

you can crash this unit!

I'm up against it, man.

I'm...

Oh, no.

My store. I just...

I need to win, man.

I need...

I need to win.

Let's roll, everyone.

This man has no respect

for the storage community.

I'm not the city sound of pouring rain

And all the tears you

cry, they call my name

Remember yesterday

walking hand in hand

Love letters in the sand

I remember you

I remember you

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I'm leaving

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Look, Chugless was not

my first choice either,

but it was Mom's dying

wish for us to live here.

Or at least that's how I interpreted it.

Yeah, I read something online.

This place sucks.

Anyways, rent is super low,

and I've got a full-time gig here,

so it's not really an offer we're gonna

turn down right now.

Yeah, I get it.

Look, I think you're

really gonna like it here.

Oh, what's going on with that dude?

Oh, my gosh, Henry, we're in Chugless.

Stay high to chuggy the chip.

All right, this is the new neighborhood.

When was this house built?

It's so nice to meet you.

Yeah, nice to meet you.

Your new bosses sent you this.

Oh.

Yeah, people love working

at a potato chip factory.

Yeah, well, I'm running

their socials for a little bit.

I said I'd get their

father account past 75.

Nice!

You must be Henry.

Nice to meet you. I'm Don.

All right, why is there an

alpaca hanging out of your car?

Well, real estate's not my only hustle.

I'll also do some

mobile zoo stuff on the side.

In who, I gotta run.

Call me if you need anything.

Also, uh, I'm really

sorry about your mom.

She's really brave what you're doing.

I hope you know that.

Thank you.

Henry! Breakfast is ready!

I'm coming!

Check it out.

I made you mom's signature

tater-top breakfast pizza.

So you can hand out

slices on your first day?

So she wanted me to seem normal.

I do!

Who do you think I am?

I got you some body spray.

Signature scents are huge here.

Velvet mischief?

You're gonna wanna spray

it and then walk into it.

Don't be too direct.

It's really powerful.

Okay.

Love you.

Love you too.

Smells like banana bread and poo.

Your store's running cool.

Yeah, I know.

Looking for anything in particular?

Nah, just checking some stuff out.

Non-committal. Classic loser mentality.

I can help.

I'm starting a mentorship program for

people who wanna win at the game of life.

50 bucks an hour.

Cool. How do you actually win at life?

That's literally the

answer I charge money for.

Tots.

What's with the breakfast pizza?

My sister made it.

I'm supposed to hand out

slices at school to make friends.

A little desperate for

day one, don't you think?

I also noticed that

you're wearing velvet mischief.

It's a wonderful cologne.

And I strongly believe that every young

man should have his own signature sent.

I didn't think I applied very much.

Listen, I'm gonna give

you a hot garbage tip.

Friendship is like a puzzle.

Sometimes you think you

need lots of pieces to be cool.

And sometimes it's

just one piece to be cool.

Then people will be like, "That's not a

puzzle. That's a picture."

And they have a right to speak, too.

Okay, well, I gotta go to school.

Whatever, nerd. Just leave the pizza.

All right. Let's put this name tag on.

Uh, why does it have

an exclamation point?

Oh, Henry, we're just

so thrilled to have you.

You know, you're the

first student to enroll here

ever since that article came out about

the school rankings.

Anyway, I'm Vice Principal

Marlene, and I'm an open book.

You probably heard that my husband

Clemente recently divorced me.

And to be honest, I expected

it to hurt more than it does.

You know, the fire went out on our

marriage 20 years ago.

But we stuck it out for the dogs.

Okay, let's get you to your first class.

Good morning. Just a

little something about myself.

I teach gym. I teach art.

Financially, I'm

living in a nightmare, okay?

I wouldn't wish my

life on my worst enemy.

Last year, I claimed

$4,000 on my tax return.

I also have several

pending lawsuits, okay?

But most of my money is tied up in a

drone kiosk at the mall.

Okay, today we're gonna do a still life.

One orange, one banana.

Let's get after it, people.

I want to do this. I'm not taking it.

I want to do this. I want to do this.

What is this? Don't you

know what a still life is?

That means you just draw the thing. Do

the assignment next time.

That jetpack would never work.

It's kind of foolproof,

actually. It's just math.

My dad said math has been debunked.

Check it out. New kid

thinks he's a rocket scientist.

I'd love to be a rocket

scientist. So prove it.

Loser.

All right. Count us down, guys.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Okay, so I know that we're all very

excited about the new rebrand.

But I don't think you should call your

party bags salt sacks.

Whistle)

Tiny!

I was never here, okay?

Well, the good news is nobody died.

The bad news is you've destroyed the

American potato chip economy.

I'm sorry, okay? It was an accident.

This could be grounds

for expulsion, Henry.

I need you to call your guardian.

Game overwhelmed.

Hey, Mr. Garbage Man, it's

Henry. The kid with the tater tot,

Berks Pizza. Oh, yeah.

I have a weird favor to ask.

Could you come to my school

and pretend to be my uncle?

No way. I don't do that stuff anymore.

I have 26 bucks.

Hi, I'm Henry's uncle.

You? The trash bag?

It's actually garbage, man.

Garbage, man, huh?

Oh, you can bag me up and

take me to the curb any time.

But you got to bungee the lid,

because I got a lot of raccoons in there.

Whoever divorced you is a complete idiot.

Just don't get it. It should have worked.

I'm not this rape, but I probably just

caused my sister her job.

Oh, wow.

You're super creative.

Guess I'm not the only

true talent in chugless.

Hey, since you're going to juvie, mind if

I get this flyer back?

Paper don't grow on trees, and they're

really loud and can't go anymore.

Well, you can have my book, too.

Because I'm done with it.

So what's this stupid joke?

Who cares?

Probably some new age bull crap.

I wonder what it does.

Hey, instructions.

Never under any circumstances

combine the orb and crystal.

Uh, man, do not follow this orb, even if

you're a struggling business owner,

and need a ton of cash fast, because there's loads of pressure down here.

But it's not worth the danger.

Hey, hey, dude, dude, I don't think I

want to go somewhere.

I'm sorry. I tried everything. I didn't

know who else to call.

No, it's okay. What's going on?

Henry's missing. I tried the school.

I tried his phone a million

times. He's not answering.

He was supposed to be home hours ago.

I thought he's still being detention for

blowing up chug of the chip.

That was him?

Give me a call. Oh, my God. What's the matter? He's not here. He's here.

Give me a call. Oh, my gosh.

I can't believe this. We're here for one

day, and he's already the town villain.

Got him. He's fine. He's just planning an

abandoned mineshaft.

What?

Come on. I'll drive.

You can feed Mr. Scribbles this busted

carrot if you want to keep

that pretty face of yours.

Hop in.

Okay.

You go first. I'll cover your face.

Danger. Whatever. Henry!

What are you doing down here?

Who's this guy? He's my new mentor.

Who, me?

No.

Hey, guys? Guys?

It's calling you, guys.

No!

No!

No!

No!

Oh, man. My butt. My butt.

No.

We're not in Idaho anymore.

I think this is Wyoming.

Wait. Who are you again?

Garrett the garbage man

Garrison. Game of the year 1989.

Whatever. I barely think about it.

What the heck?

Ooh.

That's what I think it is. It could be

our first quest giver.

I'll do the talking.

All right! Yeah!

Henry! Henry! Come back here!

Listen up, you twine!

We're running dangerously low on gold.

So let me be very clear.

You are all failures.

If you can't find more gold, I'll just

send you to the overworld to zombify.

Find me more gold!

You!

What are you making?

Come closer. It's all right.

Come on. I'm not going to bite you.

Aww. How pretty.

But how will that help me find more gold?

Oh.

What?

Well, looky what we have here.

Our time has come.

My gosh! My leash!

Was I unclear when I said no one was to

waste time on art or leisure?

The orb has returned.

It can't be.

Dennis?

You stole it from me and

now you will retrieve it.

It would be a privilege, my leash.

You're going to unbind you now.

Don't do anything stupid.

Of course not. You can

trust this little dungeon pup.

Let me just sneak it back!

Go ahead. Strike me down.

My piglins will make a

meal of your beautiful wolf.

How do I know you're telling the truth?

There's only one way to find out.

The orb. For your little dog's life.

A causes Japanese Dragon stigma and cruelty.

Does that feel quick to anyone else?

Yeah.

All right, everyone.

Stay calm.

Relay.

Free garbage tip.

Fear is just weakness

hijacking your body's cockpit.

What in the hell?

If that happens, you can

save Biocone DS to your body

plane's navigation system.

What?

Yeah, a garbage man isn't

speaking English or Spanish.

What am I doing here?

Star Densho's getting

with "Shaper of the Year."

Henry!

No, we gotta solve him, brother!

How's he doing this?

I don't know, but it might work.

Make way, faster!

Just go, go!

You can be sorry!

What, don't you slow down, you retarded!

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!

Guys, you're over here!

What are you doing?

You idiot, run!

Open the door!

Oh, man.

Oh boy!

Hey!

Who are you?

I am Steve.

Who are you people?

Where's Dennis?

Dennis, who is, we don't know any Dennis.

Then how'd you get that?

Hey, we're Lawless

Machacho, it's my property.

Do you even know what that is?

It's the orb of dominance.

It's a cube.

Okay, ha ha!

You people seriously have no idea what

you're dealing with.

Hand it over and no one gets hurt.

No way!

Okay, we need this thing to get home.

I hate to take a big fat

dumparoo on your plans,

but you can't get home!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what do

you mean we can't get home?

Not without the earth crystal.

You mean my little boxy thing?

Garbage man busted it!

Nuh uh.

Listen, Henry, why don't you hold this?

You got those good photo vibes, kid.

I got photo vibes?

Are you implying that we're stuck here?

Yes!

Unless you get the earth

crystal, it's your only way home.

There's only one way

you could ever replace it

at the Woodland Mansion,

but going there would get you all killed.

But so it's staying here.

Fair enough.

Listen, I can get you home,

but then you gotta give me that orb.

So what are you gonna do with it?

None of your concern!

So, what do you say, do we have a deal?

We did just kill like 20 zombies.

More like 15, but okay.

All right, Steve, under two conditions.

One, always address me

because I'm the leader.

Two, if you double cross us,

I will crack your cabasa with my butt

cheeks like a walnut.

This guy is such a tool bag.

I'm so sorry, we just met this man,

and he's not the leader.

Hmm.

Well, it looks like Dr. Swallenstein here

just got himself a deal.

Oh my gosh.

All right.

First we need to load up on some gear

or we're all gonna die.

Let's go to Midport Village.

This guy's lost his mind.

Here it is.

Midport Village.

I got a secret stash of elite loot

that'll help us

survive the woodland mansion.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Who are these guys?

Oh, these dudes?

They're the villagers.

They're total pacifists and vegetarians.

You don't bug them, they won't bug you.

They just like to chill, trade, and eat

butt loads of bread.

They love crushing loaf.

So they built all this?

Yeah, most of it.

But the good stuff you see is all me.

See some kind of king?

No.

That's a legend.

Kid, anything you can

dream about here, you can make.

Zero limits, you know

what I'm talking about.

That was your tower, right?

Yeah.

Pretty killer for a first build.

Relax, it's just an iron

golem, local security force.

But they're a bunch of big softies.

Unless you start

messing with the villagers.

Don't ever do that.

This place makes no sense.

Yo, I need protein like Pronto.

I got just the place, bro-hemeth.

Hello there.

Oh dude, I got goose

pimples just walking up on it.

You ever wonder what

happens when you mix hot lava

and chicken?

I did.

We're about to find out.

Uh oh!

You hear that?

That's the sound of sizzling.

Mm-hm.

Smell that smell.

La la la lava

Cha cha cha chicken

Steve's lava chicken, yeah

Tasty as hell

Ooh mama see

Tonight you're ringing a bell

Crispy and juicy now

you're having a snack

Ooh super spicy it's a love of attack

I have a small business too.

The one thing I try to do is

not have my jingle suck butt.

Freaking loser.

Pass the bird, turkey.

I'm not a little wimp

like big Steve here.

I crave heat and I crave pain.

Darren, wait!

Hear my words.

That chicken was just cooked in hot lava.

Let it cool down, man.

Not bad.

Hey, garbage man.

You're a big time idiot.

What is it?

What?

General Chugga, get over here.

Hey, Melgosia, what's going on?

Your old dungeon buddy

Steve has betrayed us.

Well that's a bummer.

The orb is with four roundlings.

My spies tell me he has taken them to his

lava chicken shack.

No way.

I love that place.

La la la lava.

Chachachaching chicken.

Shut up.

Take your finest warriors,

bring me that orb and

kill the roundlings.

So like, you want me to

end his life or whatever?

Are you serious?

What do you think I'm talking about?

Okay.

I was just kind of

confused there for a second.

Take us near the water

so you don't zombify.

Your majesty, I don't

think this is gonna be

enough to go around.

Deal with it.

No worries.

All right, drink up guys.

You don't want to zombify up there,

but just tiny sips, okay?

Okay, so how do we find

this woodland mansion thing?

Over the mountains into the dark forest

right beyond the massive red shrooms.

Massive red shrooms?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, red ones.

We need to find a real map, Steve.

This place is dangerous,

and I need to get my brother out of here.

Well, it seems like he's

having a pretty good time.

Look, your brother has a gift.

You know that, right?

You should let him explore it.

Creativity in this

world is key to survival.

Okay, well in the real world,

things are a little bit different.

Creative kids get picked last for gym,

they sit at the bummer lunch table,

and they get bullied.

Don't I know it.

Do you even realize

what he did back home?

He blew up chugging the chip.

Well, maybe I belong in this rock.

Henry, that's not what I meant.

That's not what I was saying at all.

Just so you know,

I'm more of a sister to

Hank than he'll ever be.

Yeah.

Bighead.

You okay?

Fine.

Look, I found one of

these big-headed looking dudes

that sells maps.

Looks legit.

Come on.

Welcome to the stash.

TNT, firework rockets,

also good for propulsion.

Boots of swiftness,

diamond armor, full set,

and blades for days.

Everything will need to

make it to Woodland Mansion.

Whoa.

Focus loud, bro.

Look, but don't touch.

Those are some of my favorite treasures.

What's this junk?

That is an ender pearl.

Teleports you to wherever you throw it.

Yeah, right.

Not on!

And that was the only one I had.

No biggie.

Almost died fighting an enderman for it.

Come with me.

This is a crafting table.

Here's how it works.

You place these elements

in different patterns and--

You got yourself a sweet blade.

You wanna see a blade?

I'll show you a blade.

Yeah.

Hammer.

Good--

That's okay, bud.

Buckuts are useful here.

Yeah, they're cool, Garrett.

They're like nunchucks.

Yeah, I know.

That's why I made them.

They're buckchuckits.

Uh, they're what?

Hey, can I try something else?

Absorutin-tootley.

Bro, you had tots the whole time?

Yeah, sorry.

It's a tot launcher.

Dude, you just took

boring junk from the real world

to create something

amazing that is next level.

Hank, can I play with your

tot launcher when you're done?

Yeah.

Sweet.

Hey, Steve, can I

talk to you for a second?

Sure thing.

What's up?

You know that note you left with the orb?

One about the riches.

I read it.

Yeah.

There's riches everywhere.

Keep a fat stash of

diamonds at the redstone mines.

So this treasure load is on

the way to this mansion place.

Not really.

It's a major detour.

Plus, the mines can be perilous.

I'm gonna keep it simple for you, Steve.

No diamonds.

No orb.

You smell what I'm stepping in.

We need a map.

Ned.

It's on.

Something's going down.

All right, guys.

Just start trashing their purges.

Villagers hate that.

Who are these guys?

England.

They must react to the orb.

Hey, Steve.

What's going on, dude?

Crap.

Shroomless.

I'm really sorry that I have to

annihilate you and stuff.

Malcolm should double-cross me.

We just need that orb thingy.

You rode this guy?

Yeah, we used to get

into some dungeon stuff.

He seems nice, but he's a cat.

Wow, you look good, bro hammer.

You lose some weight.

Stand back, boys.

This peak is mine.

No.

I'm tired of you getting all the glory.

This peak is mine.

Steve!

We have to get to Henry.

Do you think we can take these guys?

You are?

Yeah, you got me feeling.

Feeling like I'm everything

I hide my love in the hot sunshine

I feel like I'm alive

Everybody's loving it

I'm having fun with it

Like a rock star

Like a rocket ship

It's got me feeling brand new

It's got me feeling brand new

It's got me feeling brand new

Feeling brand new

You can do it

Watch me move up, down, start to fly

Nice move, bro.

Sorry.

It's got me feeling brand new

It's got me feeling brand new

Can we feel it brand new

It's got me feeling brand new

The party's over, bud.

Just give me the orb.

Let me do something, let me do something.

It's got me feeling brand new

Ninja roll.

What happened?

I saved your butt, that's what happened.

He begs me later.

We gotta get to the rampart.

Follow me!

Henry!

Matt, we have to go now.

Don, I can't help

leaving, he's my entire family.

We need you alive.

Okay, well meet him back

at the Woodland mansion.

We gotta go find him back, Doc, come on!

Garrett, what about Natalie?

We'll meet her at the mansion.

Oh great, now what?

Electro wing suits.

Whoa!

Head for those mountains!

I thought we were going

to the Woodland mansion.

Hey, don't talk back to your elders.

But-- Bye bye.

Those things work right?

Absolutely.

Whoopsie!

Check it out, I'm late!

Yeah!

Buenos dias, wish me to see you later.

I thought I'd grab three, wait for me!

Coming in hot!

No, no way, dude!

They're doing my hair!

Just relax, let my hips

guide you, it's the only way!

What?

All I've got to think

of ain't much better

You're so mean, but

Think you're the one

Hey, we'll have a

better chance if we split up!

Get out of here, you stupid pig!

We got hot riders there at three o'clock!

We're boxed in!

Head for the tunnel!

We're not gonna fit!

We're too chunky!

We're gonna have to go nose to toes!

Full man sandwich!

What? No, I'm not gonna do that!

I'm ordering you to

make a full man sandwich!

Okay!

Oh my god!

Yeah!

Dang it, a lava bucket!

Okay!

Tighten up!

What?

There's still some

negative space back there!

We both know it!

I'm trying to close the gaps!

I'm gonna squeeze for your safety!

I understand!

Get out of here, stupid pig!

Get out of here!

Help me!

Oh crap!

Don't worry!

I'm gonna cushion our

fall with this water bucket!

You couldn't really fight, Matt!

You were kicking butt!

Thanks, I have no

idea where it came from!

There he is!

He's getting away!

Hey, get back here!

We need a map!

First we need a boat!

Okay, okay, uh.

Okay, hurry!

The map guy's falling away!

Full magic!

Mm-hmm.

Matt, that's the

worst boat I've ever seen.

I'm sorry, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Forget it!

Let's go, come on!

Oh no, not again!

Oh, I am so sorry!

Oh my God, are you all right?

Oh my God, oh my God, are you all right?

Your head is huge!

Ah.

You're not gonna sue me, are you?

Because everyone wants to sue me

once I hit them with

my Jeep Grand Cherokee!

Ah.

Oh my, how about this?

What if I just take you to dinner?

Would you like to go to dinner?

Ha.

You got some talking to do, buddy.

Hank and I want some answers.

Like how are we gonna stop those pigs

and why is my beard so like, gorgonzola?

Yeah, and who said evil sorcerers

you were talking about?

Look!

The sorceress is a

pigling queen called Nalgosia.

Those are her minions.

She rules over them in a dark

hellscape called the Nether.

And I always keep a chunk of gorgonzola

in my front pocket, okay?

It's my best friend's

favorite snacky snack.

My best friend Dennis.

Nalgosia's path to villainy

started the way these things often do.

During the semi-finals of

the Nether's Got Talent.

Young Nalgosia always dreamed

of being a world-class dancer.

Her moves were pretty out there.

No one in the Nether was ready for it.

It crushed her.

What'd I tell you about all that dancing?

You deserve to fail.

Creativity will never make you happy,

but you know what will?

Goal.

Now go find some.

So from that day forward,

she denounced all forms of creativity.

If she ever gets that orb,

she'll block out the sun.

Netherward will flourish.

This beautiful world and everything in it

will wither and die.

And you were gonna give it to her?

Great idea.

I'm not gonna give it to her,

but I need that orb for leverage.

Gotta save Dennis.

Come.

Woodland Mansion is just

beyond the Redstone Mountains.

We can go over or through.

Whatever's fastest.

Through will be faster.

General Chungus, you have

failed me for the last time.

Yeah, I'm really sorry about that.

Ah, bring out the beast.

What do you mean you just

have to put the bride in?

Well, he's a big deal.

Get it done.

Look, everybody knows

it wasn't my best day,

but I'm really trying

to set some new goals.

The bright hawk, my ultimate weapon.

There it is.

Can't help it.

Wait, does this mean you're firing me?

Well done.

Now find the

roundlings and bring me the orb.

We are so lost.

My one job was to

protect Henry and I blew it.

I just promised my mom I'd never let

anything happen to him.

I guess I'm just not cut

out for this parenting stuff.

I just wish I could've been a kid

for a little bit longer, you know?

I just have that feeling

like I could've done anything.

I hear you.

Being a grownup sucks.

You got all these responsibilities

and you just stopped chasing your dreams.

You think I like having 15 hustles?

Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, hold up, hold up.

Let's just calm down.

I think this one just needs some TLC.

Yeah?

You like bones?

I bet you like bones

as you go, as you do.

Yes?

Oh, aren't you a beautiful one?

Yes you are.

I'll get you, girl.

I cannot believe you just did that.

What?

Dennis?

Steve's Dennis?

Can you take us to him?

Oh, Nat, I think this might be our way

to the Woodland Mansion.

Let's follow that pooch.

Right this way, gentlemen.

Woo hoo hoo!

Looky, looky here.

Welcome to the Redstone Mines.

See that glowy stuff?

That's Redstone.

It conducts energy.

Can build some crazy

contraptions with it.

Thought you said this was a diamond mine.

Easy, big dog, they're here.

But be careful.

I set some booby traps a long time ago.

Can't for the life of me

remember where they are.

Ha, here it is.

Thanks, Garrett.

Yeah.

Yes, we're diamonds.

That's what I'm talking about.

Steve delivers the goods.

Did you guys plan this?

I'm sorry, Henry.

Woo!

Yeah!

I'm not.

Yeah.

What the heck, man?

Overlax.

Not only could be at the mansion already.

Too far?

Oh no.

Neither what?

What does that mean?

Oh, the Great Hawk!

She finally put the brain in.

Run for the minecarts!

Here, Henry, here!

If memory serves, I've

built a kick-ass safe

for him just up ahead.

Whoa.

Dang it, my torch blew out!

Why are we stopping?

We're a husky load, gents.

We're gonna need a redstone boost fast.

What's that sound?

Crap!

My creeper farm.

What kind of idiot

would breathe these things?

Up ahead, look!

We gotta get to the redstone rail!

Garrett, you gotta send this message.

Get him and push!

Okay.

Okay.

Go, Garrett, go fast, man!

We're not gonna beat this!

Come on, Garrett, you gotta go faster!

Start us laughing, Hank!

Garrett, get in!

He's right behind us!

Woo hoo!

Yeah!

Woo hoo!

Nice work, Gar-Gar, your little detour

almost got us killed.

I'm a liar, so dramatic.

We're still alive.

What's your problem, man?

We didn't need those stupid diamonds.

I swear, you were

literally the most selfish person

I've ever met.

Whatever, I need them, okay?

I need the diamonds,

because I need the money,

because I'm broke.

You wouldn't know anything about that.

My life sucks, kid, all right?

I'm a frickin' loser.

Here, I said it.

I know it looks like I got

it all put together, right?

I'm smart, funny, bilingual,

el homble, tu un el faulto.

That's not the reality.

I'm not doing well.

I'm bad.

I'm washed up, Hank, and

I'm gonna lose everything.

And that's not the worst part.

I'm alone.

You're alone.

I was your friend.

Sorry about your finances.

Shut up, Steve.

Hank.

Oh, no, it's possible.

You know, I gotta tell

you, I'm having a great time.

I recently got divorced

from my husband Clemente,

and the main reason is, you know,

he didn't have any personality.

Not like you.

Are you finished?

No, I think he's Swedish.

But we're done with our meal.

There it is, the Woodland Mansion.

We're gonna get in

there, get the Earth Crystal,

and get you guys home.

Follow me.

Check this out.

Let's do this.

Pay close attention to Papa Steve.

The Woodland Mansion has three floors.

The first floor is

loaded with vindicators.

Axe murderers, basically.

Why is it third floor on the first floor?

I'm very confused.

I was trying to make three floors,

but I didn't have time

to make like a doll house.

The second floor crawls with evokers.

They wield powerful dark magic.

This is the worst model I've ever seen.

Garrett, stop talking.

We're trying to figure out a plan.

Bro, how long you been mad at me for?

I just got mad at you.

Please don't be mad at me for this, okay?

But I accidentally stole the

worm while you were crafting.

Are we cool now?

You are literally the worst

person in the entire world.

Guys, both of you,

eyes on my demonstration.

Third floor, houses the loot chamber.

That's where the Earth Crystal is,

but it's guarded by endemine.

Whatever you do, do

not look them in the eye.

They'll fry your brains out.

Okay, well I could build

stairs to the second floor,

sneak in through the window,

and snag the Earth Crystal.

That's a great idea, Hank.

But to pull it off,

we're gonna need a

pretty sweet diversion.

You know what could work on these guys?

It sounds crazy.

Hit me.

Someone order a saxophone birthday party?

Looks like it's everyone's birthday.

Hit it.

Friendship is the wish you make

When you're blowing out the

candles on your birthday cake

Don't be a bully and don't be a boo

Time to put on your birthday suit

Today is the best,

it's the day you will horn

Time for us to blow the birthday horn

You gotta be kidding me.

You got this, Darkheart!

Reach down, Jeeves!

You're the sharkless kitten, I love ya!

Come on, Steve.

It's some kind of

sadistic vindicator fight club.

I've heard of these,

but I've never seen one.

They want me to fight the chicken?

Wait!

It's a fight to the death, kid!

Chicken Draki!

Watch out!

Get them away from your face!

Finally.

Help me, help me!

I'm sorry, little buddy.

Don't fall for it, Gaga!

That baby's got the heart of a demon!

What kind of demon are you?

You're a cute little bugger face.

I'm just gonna pet your little head.

You'll never be as cool as me, Hank.

Just give up.

The over-road doesn't need you, Henry.

Give up.

Neither do I.

This is all your fault, Henry.

Everything you do, anybody.

This doesn't trash demon.

Just give up, little scepter.

No!

Take your time!

You saved my life.

That's what friends do, Garrett.

Hank, did you get the Earth Crystal?

Yeah, I got it.

Let's get out of this hellhole!

Where do you think you're going?

It's her!

You dummies!

You really thought you

could defeat my great Hulk?

News flash, I built a new one.

Now go, sir!

Your reign is over!

You're wrong.

It's just beginning.

No!

No!

Kill them!

We have work to do.

Goodbye, Steve!

Seeker piglins, they're

gonna blow this bridge sky high!

Sir, Hank.

What?

Yeah!

Slime cube!

Come on, Garrett, drop!

No, Steve, get him out of here!

Go, Hank!

Save your sister and get home!

Garrett, you don't have to do this!

No, get him home, Steve!

Tell my story in song!

Keep it metal, keep it heavy.

Real instruments.

Besides, I love the house.

Spanky!

No!

We're going down!

No!

Race for impact!

Dennis.

Dennis?

Yes?

Dennis!

Oh, it's you!

It's really you!

Oh, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,

Oh, how'd you find me?

He's one heck of a wolf.

He led us right to you guys.

Now I understand why you

kept yourself so filthy

and smelly so Dennis

could find you one day.

Is he okay?

He's fine.

He's just resting.

Good.

It's a pretty rough crash landing.

Wait a minute, where are we?

You guys both hate this?

Y'all, we're not messing around.

We got the silk touch.

No luck, er!

All right.

I was so afraid that I lost you.

I was so afraid that I lost you too.

I'm really sorry about Garrett.

We think all about dark in the overworld

Nether what will spread like wildfire

Then all its gold will be ours

Get in front of me!

It has begun.

The great darkening.

Melgosa's gathering all her forces.

She will destroy this land.

Unless we go get that orb.

Well, what are we doing here?

Let's go fight some pigs.

I'm ready.

I'm done with those pigs.

Yeah, me too.

Let's do it for Gaga.

First we mine, then we craft.

Let's Minecraft!

Fight!

One, two, three.

Get the orb!

What are you saying?

Minecraft.

We should all say that on three.

Forget it, there's no time!

Show us what you got, Henry.

Okay, I've got a plan.

Killer recipes.

We're gonna have to move fast.

Let's get to work.

First, we're gonna need iron ingots.

Coming in hot.

Ow!

Oh yeah!

We're gonna need the boots of swiftness.

Time to light this place up.

Come on, boys.

Have a nice ride!

Oh!

Whoa!

We need a ton of diamonds.

And blades for days.

You want some, buddy?

We're ready.

Let's go save the overworld.

Listen up, my piggies.

Today, we take the overworld as ours.

Attack their villages, burn their homes,

and their symmetrical files.

All they have created, we destroy!

Well, what are you standing around for?

Get out of here!

Go on, destroy something!

Hey, Henry!

News flash, iron golems will

not attack unless provoked.

Ha ha ha!

Real smooth, Travis!

Ready?

Let's do this.

Oh, for goodness sake!

Enjoying the show, are you?

Get down there and take

care of those roundlings!

Daddy like them pork chops!

Ho ho ho ho!

Okay, Gosh, let's dance.

Bring it on!

Giggity-o!

Ha!

My diamond armor!

I think it's hot!

Friends!

What is this?

A great festival!

Get off of me!

Honey, the earth's up there!

Do it, Henry!

I got this!

Go, Henry, go!

Hey, Captain Buckcrack!

I got something for you!

Get a dence.

Woo, quick, man, I'm not big!

Finish this, Henry!

Henry!

Go!

Oh, yeah!

You're alive!

Between us, I use

Steve's water bucket trick.

Pretty cool, huh?

A little bit.

Let's get this so I can go home.

All right, Hank, it's fireball time.

Grab that spear.

I want you to jab it in the tent of this.

Jab it!

Yeah!

How'd you learn how to do that?

Oh, yeah.

No!

What have you done?

Nio!

Yo!

Oh, my God!

Oh, God!

Good to see you, garbage man.

Oh!

Ah!

You failed, witch.

The overworld lives on.

You, too, have fallen for the great lie.

You'll never be happy.

Deep down, you know.

To hope, to dream, to

create is to suffer.

You're right.

It is harder to create than to destroy.

That's why cowards

tend to choose the deuce.

Nah.

Later, gauche.

Every minute knowing you has been a

horror show waste of time.

Wait!

Wrong thing.

Come closer.

Do you have a little knife that you're

gonna try to stab me with?

No, no, I'm too weak.

All right.

Ah!

Come on!

It was worth a shot.

Wait, wait, leave me say one more thing.

Come closer.

No way!

No, really, it's about you.

Fine.

Laying down here.

Ooh!

You really are the worst.

Goodbye.

This isn't really-- come back!

I don't even have a knife.

Where would I keep it?

Sneak attack!

Hey!

You sure you want to go back, Henry?

It won't feel like this.

There you got

constraints, judgments, obstacles.

Yeah, I know.

But I'm gonna go make stuff anyway.

I like that.

Hey.

You're a brave kid.

Steve, you still cool with this?

Huh?

Yeah.

Come here, boy.

Yeah.

Of course I still love you.

That's why I think this is a good idea.

You changed my life.

It's time for you to go change hers, too.

Huh?

Go now, Dennis.

Change Don's life, Dennis.

Go on a journey and think of me.

Dennis.

Go now, legendary wolf of my dreams.

My doggy, doggy, doggy.

My Dennis.

Ow!

God!

If I would've known

you could sing like that,

it would help me get past your smell.

Garrett, you are a

truly bodacious warrior

and a really good friend.

I wish you'd come home with us.

Hangs cool, but I don't

have any friends my age.

You would make a great team.

Biocontius, it means goodbye, brother.

No, it doesn't.

Don't look at her. It does.

No, it does not.

Yeah, it does.

Love you guys.

Are you sure you don't want to come back?

Yeah, I'm staying here.

I got a bunch more stuff I want to build.

Why don't you bring some of

that magic to the real world?

Screw it. I'm coming with.

Turns out the overworld taught us

you can create the life you dream of.

Even in the real world.

Garrett's store became

the hottest place in town.

And the best part? His

new friends were never far.

So with Henry and Natalie's help,

we created the hit game

"Block City Battle Buddies."

All that time in the

overworld upped everyone's game.

And every Friday, I would let it rip.

Yeah! Yeah!

I used to wake up and play

back in my childhood days

Getting old is such a dirty shame

They never gave me a chance

I had to let my imagination dance

Hell, I came up with a different game

Down in the mines all of the time

Renting out the sun, having some fun

Laughing, I'm never ever looking back

Cause I feel like

Yeah!

Dawn finally got to

ditch her real estate job.

She and Dennis brought the

party wherever they went.

Natalie decided to share her new skill

set with the real world.

Survival mode, self-defense!

The streets of Chugless

have never been safer.

You get them, Natalie!

And Henry? He finally

got that jetpack to work.

I'm gonna fly in the sky

I feel alive

I move mountains with my mind

I feel alive

Like a new moon on the rise

I feel alive

Like a redstone over dry eyed

I feel alive

With the power of the world inside

I feel alive

Yeah!

I know how much you love bread.

Marlene, your ex-husband's here. He said

it was an emergency.

Well, you tell him. I've

got nothing to say to him.

You gotta be kidding me,

Marlene. This is the guy?

Too late, Clemente. You had your chance.

She's right,

Clemente. You totally blew it.

And now I reap the

rewards of your mistake.

You see, when Marlene's Jeep Grand

Cherokee ran me over,

I was struck by a love so powerful,

it transcended the barriers of

conventional speech.

Now I speak human and

she speaks villager.

Marlene, ever since we met last night,

I wanted to say, would you marry me?

Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes.