Original subtitles

It's okay for you to cry,

you know, if you want to cry.

No one's gonna blame you

for not holding it together.

In fact, I think it'd

be really therapeutic to,

ah, no, what's the word?

It's not therapeutic,

it's no one's blaming you.

But it's normal to

feel that as the partner,

it's normal to think that

maybe you could have done

something about it.

If you'd done things different,

then maybe things would

have gone differently.

Partners always to blame, but,

but no one's blaming you.

You're not to blame.

There was,

there was a lot of shit

going on, wasn't there?

I was just gonna say it's

okay to feel what you feel.

It's okay, whatever you feel.

Cathartic.

Cathartic.

So?

So...

This is...

This is so bad.

Yes.

It's so...

inappropriate.

I mean...

What if somebody catches us?

Catches you?

How'd you know her?

Maybe we should do this some other time.

Are you serious?

Well...

you know where to find me.

Who are you texting?

You.

Oh, you looked so sad at the funeral.

Are you sure you're okay?

Your bed and cock must be so lonely.

Can I warm them for you?

Very funny.

Who did you text?

You're looking good.

Seriously though, who did you text?

Who did you text?

Okay, whatever, not

like anybody's gonna enjoy

coming around here very much anyway.

So, as the first woman in

your new life as a widower,

let me tell you that there's a

lot of her stuff lying around.

It is her stuff, right? I mean, I am the first.

You're the only one.

Yeah, see, I think you

should clean this place up.

There's still a lot of shit lying around.

I don't think this was a good idea.

I'm sorry.

I knew you shouldn't have

asked me home straight away.

I think we should do this another time.

I just wanna make sure

that there will be another time.

Lie down.

Are you still there?

Hello?

It feels so good to fuck someone again.

Doesn't it?

Depressed cancer wife never opened her

legs for you, never sucked you off.

Never let you feel her tits, the cancer

between your fingers.

Ow.

You're terrible.

Am I?

Nothing you hadn't thought of before.

Did you ever feel it?

Feel what?

The tumor.

Did you ever feel it?

What does it feel like?

It's lumpy.

But with roots underneath.

Like this noise pattern.

It's disruptive.

Did you ever fuck someone else?

While you were married, I mean.

No, but I thought about it.

About opening things up.

I was kind of hoping that she would

suggest it and then...

And then you could

reluctantly go along with it.

But your wife was too busy dying,

she never thought about your dick.

Poor you.

Doesn't answer my question, though.

I didn't fuck anyone else while my wife

was alone at home dying of cancer.

Boring.

There was this one girl, though.

Like, early twenties.

I couldn't stop thinking about her.

She had these full

lips and big empty eyes.

And I really wanted to fuck her.

Every time I touch

myself, I think about her.

What was her name?

Oh.

I have no idea.

I only saw it at this cafe a few times.

Your wife?

What was her name?

Look, I'd rather not, I…

I've got to go anyway.

I have to go see someone.

Fuck girl with the empty eyes?

Real estate.

Fuck.

I just wanted to reiterate that

legally, you don't have to disclose any

details about the suicide.

That's good to know.

You'd be surprised about values

plummeting after these things.

But I'm like, come on, man.

These buildings are so old.

It's not like nobody ever died in them.

Like, there wouldn't be a shit-ton of

ghosts around if ghosts were real.

Right?

Gotta love the radio.

Everyone's just

streaming, cherry-picking.

Gotta love the randomness of it all.

How it just hits you.

Whatever's coming on is coming on.

I can turn it on if you like.

Is it retro or vintage?

It belonged to my wife.

It's vintage.

Just like everything

else in this apartment, eh?

Just out of personal

curiosity, and again,

this is nothing you have to

disclose with potential buyers.

But, uh, where did it happen?

Excuse me?

In the bathtub, right?

Can I see?

This is some really

good cleaning work here.

Can't see shit.

It’s like it never happened.

And head here, yeah?

♪ Moans ♪

And that's the last thing you see.

It's really good work.

I can't spot a thing.

Well, that concludes my little tour.

Unless there's something

else you want me to see.

Like what?

Is there something else?

Anything?

No.

I'll let you know if

there's any potential buyers,

but in my experience,

these things can take a while,

so no need to rush.

Do you have a new place already?

I haven't started looking yet.

Well, if you do,

you know who to call.

Hi.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know you were here.

No problem.

I was just cleaning.

Is this a bad time?

No.

I didn't think you'd be coming in.

I thought maybe...

Still here?

Yup.

Isn't your wife?

No.

She's not here.

I can still clean

everything up if you like,

and you can just go

grab a coffee or something,

and I'll be done in an hour or so.

You can also just go.

I mean, I'll pay you.

You have come all this way after all.

How much do you normally get?

Depends.

How much do you normally get here?

Depends.

Well, you make up your

mind, and I'll go get my money.

No.

If you pay me, then I

really have to clean.

I can't just take your money for nothing.

I can wait in the other

room and you do your thing.

Is that going to be a problem?

No, it's just...

My wife was always

here when you cleaned.

I'm not making you uncomfortable, am I?

No, it's just your wife said that.

What did she say?

That you'd never be

around in that she'd...

What did she say?

What did she say?

Nothing, really.

Here's 50 euros.

You can take it and leave,

but you will tell me

what my wife said about me.

May I speak with her about this?

No.

50 euros.

What did she say?

Your wife thought that

while I was in all fours already,

rigorously scrubbing the floors,

you might just want to pull

my panties down and fuck me.

Is that what you think she said?

What did she say?

What did she say?

Hello?

Hi, this is Alyssa, the cleaner.

I'm just calling to apologise,

because I feel like I was being silly

for throwing you out of

your own flat, so to speak.

So, just come back, hang out,

and I'll just clean around you.

No hard feelings.

Oh, there you are.

I don't know what I'm doing here.

What a weird

fucking turn of events, eh?

I mean, you wouldn't be here

if your wife was still alive?

Or would you?

Your place is so quiet.

Are you kidding me?

I can hear the tram all night pulsing,

like a wave of screeching steel.

That's not the worst.

I'm sure your dead wife

would want you to fuck again.

We can fuck in her memory if you'd like.

Strange, eh?

At least one of us should be confident,

but we're just sitting here,

not knowing what to do.

Your dead wife calling,

telling you we shouldn't fuck after all.

Hello?

Am I speaking with Jon Holbrooke?

Yes, you are.

Can you hear me?

This is Wolff, Bock & Gams calling.

We tried to reach you

earlier today to no avail.

We need to talk about

your late wife's estate.

Well, there's nothing to

talk about as far as I'm aware.

Mr. Holbrooke, she has left you

with a considerable amount of money.

You surely must have known.

No.

No, there must be some mistake.

Can you come in tomorrow morning?

Sorry, how much money?

Can you come in tomorrow morning?

Yes.

Yes, of course.

Fantastic.

I'm still here for you

if you need anything.

- See you tomorrow. - So, are you secretly rich now?

I need to go.

You afraid

they're gonna sniff me out?

Are you home yet?

See, I have a question for you.

Because I was thinking

about what you would do

and what I would do, and I was wondering,

because you were here so late.

Did you?

Did you, while she was

conveniently on all fours

scrubbing the floor, fuck her?

Your student help?

Because I'm gonna be honest with you.

No one to see, no one to know.

I'd be tempted myself.

Or why else would you

be here so very late?

It's not like that.

You have to believe

me, it's not like that.

It wasn't like that.

Ever since...

...things have been a bit of a blur.

Oh good, you're early.

I 'm...

Am I...?

Clocks, eh? Take a seat.

I want to apologise

on behalf of our firm.

I understand that with everything that

you're going through,

there's... it must be quite a lot.

It is quite a lot.

Not just emotionally, but financially.

But your wife, the

deceased, has made sure

that after her tragic passing,

that you, as the only

beneficiary, will be looked after.

How does that sound?

Ah, patronizing.

It sounds patronizing.

No disrespect.

But with the loan on

that flat, and the interest,

I think you can sleep much sounder,

knowing that everything's taken care of.

There's just... there's a, a small thing.

Your account details.

We'll be needing those.

Yes, of course.

And the signature?

Please.

Wait a minute.

There's something,

there's something about you.

It's your scent.

It's good.

I like it.

Come in.

We have to stop.

Have we started anything?

I'm not feeling it.

Oh honey, I can make you feel it.

I'm serious.

We have to stop.

So, riddle me this.

Do you feel bad because of our thing?

Or do you feel bad because you're

actually doing the healthy thing

and moving on?

And not just now, but

like a long time ago,

and now you're afraid the neighbours might

talk if they catch us?

I don't care what people say.

Well, how can we never go out then?

So, staying in or eating out?

I didn't kill her.

Kill let die?

I didn't let her die either.

She took her own life.

She did that, not me.

Afraid the neighbors might talk?

Afraid the neighbors might talk.

Well, I'm glad you made it in. Today.

I have to.

Well, you don't have to, but it seems to

reflect poorly on you if you don't.

What would you like to talk about?

Well, I can go first then, yes?

You've done really well.

Nobody's told you that,

but you've done really well.

Doing all of this on your own.

No one said that to me.

They were all just waiting for me to fuck up.

At the funeral her parents, her friends.

Waiting for me to forget to

send the invites out on time.

Choose the wrong flowers.

Play a really weird song.

Waiting to pounce on me.

They didn't offer any help?

No.

But my in-laws live very far away, and...

it'd be inappropriate for friends.

And it was her friends, not mine, so...

And how did that feel?

Feel?

How did what feel?

Your wife dying under such...

tragic circumstances.

And then being left alone to grieve and

be responsible for everything.

It didn't.

Is that a terrible thing to say?

I believe that cremation is and remains

a very tasteful option.

Okay.

Is that what your wife

would have wanted, maybe?

I don't know.

We didn't really talk about it.

Hmm.

It wasn't appropriate

because of the cancer.

My apologies, I thought...

I thought it was suicide.

It was.

Cremation is good.

All right.

Bear in mind, however that you're not to

take the remains back home.

The ashes will be laid to rest.

Okay?

Okay.

All right.

My cousin died.

My cousin died. Erm...

She died yesterday and...

We don't know what to do, I don't know.

We need your help.

Uhm... I'm with a client right now, but if you

could come back in say, I don't know,

half an hour, maybe.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay.

I think that is the moment I knew that

something might be wrong.

Wrong?

Mh-hmm.

Wrong with me, I mean.

Here's this woman.

In shock, in shambles

because of a cousin.

And I don't even know the last time that

I spoke to any of my cousins.

She's a train wreck and...

...here I am.

Calm as water.

Unmoved, untouched.

Is that how you felt?

I don't know.

I honestly don't know.

That's so fucked up.

I know, right?

I mean, with her, it was sudden.

But with your wife, it was coming, right?

Have we had this conversation before?

I feel like we have.

In your head, maybe.

I sometimes have these crazy, intense

conversations in my head.

And then I realize that's all that is.

How did I get here?

My apologies, where were we?

Isn't that the question of the day?

Would you like to look

at a range of urns now?

The radio?

How long has the radio been here?

I don't know, I guess

it's always been there.

Please.

That woman?

Is this how we meet?

Excuse me?

After you.

I think it's perfectly normal to be in

shock and to not allow yourself to feel.

I think what's important is that you take

time to reflect and to break down those

barriers that are

stopping you from grieving.

See, I don't think that happened.

Why?

So you just found your wife in the

bathtub and then what?

Just left her there?

Went to the fucking funeral home?

I called an ambulance and they asked me

to resuscitate her but I

told them it was too late.

Was it?

Was it too late?

Yes.

Did you try?

I tried.

I fucking tried.

I lifted her out of the

tub even though she was thin.

So thin that I thought I was gonna break

her ribs or her arms.

I lifted her out even though the water

had gone cold, even

though she'd gone cold.

Did you try and resuscitate her first

and then call the ambulance or call the

ambulance first and then

try and bring her back?

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

That's a nice little bit of progress

right there, isn't it?

Hello, this is 911. What's your emergency?

Hello, this is 911. What's your emergency?

You know what would really turn me on?

What?

I wanna lie in the tub

where it happened and touch myself.

You're sick.

Maybe.

But you're horny and wanna watch me.

You're so fucked up.

So, she was in the tub and just...

...slit her wrists wide open.

All the way?

Like this.

The other cuts,

the baby cuts,

they're just a cry for help.

And then you came home

and she was in the tub?

No warning signs, no

goodbye notes, shit?

She did it before.

Just a few weeks before.

She was... uh, in the tub.

Essentially the same thing,

but I was here.

And I pulled her out

and it wasn't that bad.

She didn't wanna go to the hospital.

She didn't wanna tell anyone,

afraid, but when I found her,

she said the weirdest thing.

She said, "I'm still here".

Again and again.

"I'm still here."

"I'm still here."

"I'm still here."

That sounds pretty

fucking bad, you know?

I mean, for you.

Have you told anyone else?

No.

This is bad.

I mean,

if anybody else finds out, it'll look

like criminal neglect,

or whatever it's called.

Like she was in the tub

and you just stood there

whilst she looked up at

you with her big brown eyes.

She didn't have brown eyes.

Blue eyes, then.

Green?

She had fucking eyes, though, right?

You need to go.

Now.

Fine.

I'll be touching myself in my own tub

where there hasn't been a frigid bitch

suicide as of late.

Wanna make sure.

Just wanna make sure.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

We buried the dog.

She used to come for walks.

She loved it out here.

License and registration, please.

One of your tail lights flickers a bit.

You might wanna get that checked out.

Oh, uh...

I didn't know.

Well...

Now you know.

You mind opening the boot?

Yes.

Um, of course not.

Hmm.

Very neat.

I like it.

Could you open the boot?

I thought I already did.

Sorry, it does that sometimes.

Could you just open the boot, please?

Hmm, very neat.

Again.

I like it.

I need to talk about last night.

I had a really weird night.

Do you know what time it is?

No.

No, I don't know, is now a bad time?

Yes, it actually might be.

Look, we didn't talk about anything.

We're not exclusive.

I don't have to explain anything.

It's fine, I'm on my way out.

So, what's so fucking important?

So last night, I went into the woods and I...

I think there might be something wrong with me.

Yeah, no shit.

It's just that things

have been falling apart lately...

How do you know her?

What's wrong with you?

Got it.

Sorry.

Fuck.

What the actual fuck?

I mean, I know you have a lot going on,

but this is next level even for you.

You can't just storm in here

and expect me to

obediently be waiting for you.

I mean, what gives you the right?

I just, I just presumed.

You presumed what?

Because you're not

fucking anybody else, I'm not.

I...

If you're gonna say "I love you",

I'm gonna fucking stab you.

I do.

I do love you.

Are you still there?

I had a really weird dream last night.

I was walking down a street.

Just a normal street, nothing special.

And then the ground turns like

into jelly, like jellily.

And then I can't feel my feet anymore.

And they're just like swimming in midair.

And then I wake up next to you.

And I try to get out of bed,

but I still can't feel my feet.

And then I just fall flat on my belly.

Didn't wake you, did I?

Who are you talking to?

What's it to you?

I'm just curious, that's all.

Didn't know you were so

desperate to meet my parents.

You weren't talking to your parents.

Never claimed I was.

So, you're gonna leave?

I need to rush off.

I just thought that.

You thought that what?

We'd have breakfast or we'd fuck?

I don't know what I thought.

Well, come on.

I mean, I told you last night

that I had an early start, so...

Do you mind?

I thought you always take the same thing.

I'm just feeling a little off today.

Have we ever spoken before?

I don't think I've heard your voice.

Well, was it everything you ever

thought it would be?

One oatmeal cappuccino, please?

No.

Yes.

Your voice, it suits you very well.

Do you maybe wanna...

do something sometime?

Excuse me?

Well, I just always

figured you'd be interested.

Why?

The ring?

You had a wedding ring.

I saw.

And whenever I walked in

or you walked in,

you tried to hide your hand from me

and you thought I wouldn't notice.

It wasn't like that.

Never is.

Is that her?

What are you doing here?

What do you mean?

You took me.

I haven't seen you in a week.

Well, not fully dressed, you haven't.

You are joking, right?

Is this because of the

empty-eyed fantasy girl?

Oh, my God.

It is.

No, it's not.

And you weren't here.

Are you okay?

I mean, I know you want to fuck her.

I get it.

Don't feel like explaining us?

I like her.

Let's play a game.

What if I don't want to play?

Oh, come on.

When have my games ever

not been wholesome and fun?

I get to ask you a question

and you have to give me an honest answer.

That's not a game.

Maybe there's a

special prize if you win.

Okay, so what do you tell

others when we're hanging out?

Tell whom?

Others, like family,

friends, people I never meet.

I'm not really in touch

with anyone asking questions.

Well, then jump in the water with me,

your dirty little secret.

Let's get naked and

fuck in the moonlight.

That's not a question.

Clever.

And also dumb.

The water is like five degrees.

Just the way I like it.

I go slightly numb and cold

and every ripple in the water feels like

something's reaching out.

Tendrils, fingers, roots.

Do you think that's how she felt?

When she was in the tub.

Question for you.

How would you do it?

Jump off a building.

I'd be on this super tall

building and climb the fencing

and feel the wind rush through my hair

as I seriously fucked someone's day up.

But like, how would you like to land?

Like on your feet?

And then your ankles would snap

and your thighs would break and,

oh, the pain.

I'd hang myself.

No, you wouldn't.

Everybody says that, but

you'd just be dangling there

and slowly asphyxiating

and your neck wouldn't snap

and you'd free yourself

because your body's struggling.

You know, that's the thing.

Your body really wants

to live no matter what.

Okay, fine.

I'd throw myself in front of a train.

Now that's more like it.

Once it hits you, it hits you.

Actually, people don't

die from it that easily

because they just do it wrong.

You know when the

tube enters the platform,

it's actually too slow.

So it's more like being cut up

into a million different pieces

with a knife that's

not particularly sharp.

Not now.

Yes, now.

Yes, any time I feel like it,

that's how this goes.

Do you know why the tube's a good idea?

It's because it wants it.

Even on your best day, you want to stand

slightly too close to the platform

and you want to do it.

Did you want it?

With her, I mean.

Did you want it to be over?

That was different.

I'm just curious, that's all.

There's a difference

between wanting someone dead

and wanting them gone.

I'm the fucking affair.

You don't get to lie to me.

You lie to everybody else,

but don't lie to me. Ever.

Let go.

Make me.

Choke me.

You've done it before.

Not with me, but with her.

Never.

No, no, it was a work thing.

Some guy met or something, I'm sure.

So it's late or is it just too late?

It's not late.

And it's not like her life

was an immediate danger or anything.

So you come home and

the bathroom light's on

and it spews out all across the flat.

The radio's on.

The radio?

When was this? 1998?

What's playing?

I don't know, some

radio shit or something.

So what's behind door number two then?

You know, you know that.

Don't mind me, I'm still here.

But there was nothing left this time.

So you called the

ambulance first thing?

Didn't matter.

The water had gone all pink and cold.

Wanna join me?

You shouldn't be here.

Are you throwing me out?

I'm just having a bath.

Are you okay?

How was it?

Thank you very much for asking,

it's been difficult.

No, the service, how was the service?

We weren't invited.

It was for friends and

family only, it was intimate.

We're like a family here, you know?

Her place must be so hard to fill.

I mean, we have

trouble replacing her here,

and it's just here.

Sorry.

It's work.

What is it that you do exactly?

Freelance.

Yeah, but what do you do?

What did my wife do?

She went part-time and remote when...

...cancer, you know?

But what exactly did she do?

I'm gonna quickly answer this.

We've just always

been wondering, that's all.

You?

I don't...

The coffee machine in the

break room is no good.

So... this here isn't what I do,

this is just a place

that I like to go to.

Excuse me?

We were just wondering what you did.

I think we had a game, didn't we?

Does she work here?

What is it that you do?

For the game.

We have our theories, you know?

My money was on...

affair.

While your wife was in here, you know?

We don't blame you.

We're not here to judge you for

marital digressions.

We'd just like to know.

Yeah, for the game.

And like, we really miss her,

we're just curious, I guess.

Are you sure you work here?

Sorry, it's work,

I'm sure you can relate.

It was just so sudden.

If you'll excuse me,

I just need you to go to the bathroom.

I don't, but you can go.

I know you hate voice messages,

but I had to send you on anyway.

You know, holding the phone in one hand and...

Hey, we didn't mean to

be indiscreet or anything,

we're just curious on

how she actually died.

Now's not a good time.

You hear the stories.

We had a pool, we just gotta know.

Her wrists.

She slit her wrists.

I thought it would have been cancer,

because you know, cancer.

No.

It was razor blades?

Did she still shave

her legs till the end?

And, like, in between her legs?

I'm just wondering what a razor blade

is doing at your place.

Can you hear that?

It's so weird.

Did you leave them there?

You don't look like a clean shave kinda guy,

so I'm wondering what a razor

is doing at your place.

Can you not hear that?

Some radio interference. - Can you not hear that?

It's just all left us in

such a disarray, you know?

But surely you must understand.

I mean, how do you even eat?

All the food in the

fridge that she bought?

Do you still eat that after?

You know?

But then again, why not eat it?

Or do you just leave it out to rot?

You have to eat.

Yeah, you do.

They never tell you how

much that sucks, do they?

Your head wants to die,

but your body wants to live.

So you get hungry, and you eat.

Do you want to do something sometime?

Well, I'd still love to chat,

and you can always come here

if you need anything.

This is more than a workplace.

We're like a family here.

But I'm afraid we have someone else

coming in for a job interview.

Whose job?

You know.

So I really have to ask you to leave now.

How well did you know her?

It's nothing personal.

We just need to find

someone else for the job.

How well did you know her?

Have you been working together for long?

I'll leave.

It's okay.

I'll leave.

And there's our

candidate to fill the void

left behind by your wife.

You have zero new messages.

You have zero new messages.

I'm still here.

I'm still here.

Is anyone there?

Something relaxing?

Not exactly, no.

What are you doing here today?

Our appointment.

You missed your last appointment.

You've missed your last few appointments

to be perfectly honest,

including this one.

What makes today any different?

So.

How are we coping with your wife's death?

It's hard to tell really.

How's the day-to-day going?

Have you ever met her?

Your wife or this...

...other woman you told me about.

Both.

I've met neither.

I've been wondering,

it's a theoretical question.

Do they even exist for you?

Are they real, I mean?

Are you suggesting that they're not?

I'm suggesting it doesn't matter.

One woman is dead and the other's...

How are things going

with this ominous woman?

Do you see her often?

Have you met her friends, her family even?

No one knows, except you maybe.

But she's still there.

Yes.

She writes me messages,

weird messages sometimes.

And I found her underwear

underneath my bed the other day.

Not your wife's?

Are you sure?

Yes, it's...

...different.

So reasonably sure, yes.

Well that's good then.

You should keep an eye on that.

Sometimes it takes time

for things to grow, to fester.

Like a...

Like a plant.

Spreading its roots so that it can grow.

What a beautiful metaphor.

They're not all meant for it.

I just wanted to know

what it was like, you know?

Just wanted to know what it was like.

No.

Can you help me?

No.

I just wanted to

get a peek, just a peek.

Can you stay with me in the tub?

I'm gonna go get some bandages, okay?

No, stay.

Do you want one?

No, I'm good.

You certainly don't look good.

Why, you need to

relax a little bit more.

Relax. - People keep telling me that.

Got it.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No.

Are you okay?

Are you, are you okay?

Your hands!

Stop, stop!

Talk to me, you can't

just stomp out of here

like I'm air to you.

Like I'm not even...

I'll fix it.

I'll fix it?

You care to join me?

Fool me twice.

It's really good.

Do you want me to

scrub the floors for you?

Give you therapy?

Cut my eyes out.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's okay, I'll wait for you.

What are you doing in here?

I'm here because

you want me to be here.

No, you were just in the bathroom.

You were just in the bathroom

and you cut yourself

and you were bleeding.

No, no, I wasn't.

I really wasn't.

I was here.

I was here the entire time.

It's okay.

It's okay, it's just me, okay?

It's just me.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Why are you holding a knife?

I'm not.

I wasn't holding a knife.

I swear.

You wanted to tell me something.

Is this what happened to your wife?

No.

No, no, no, she killed herself.

I didn't...

You have to believe me.

It's okay.

It's okay.

This isn't me.

This isn't you either.

This isn't... this is...

Hey.

Hey, what the fuck are you doing?

Hey!

Hey, snap out of it.

Snap out of it!

Hey, do you know what this is doing?

You know what this is doing to me?

Answer me.

Answer me!

I can't take this shit anymore.

Look, it's me calling.

I'm really sorry about

the way things turned out

the other night, but

you're still in my life...

I know you.

I haven't seen you in a while.

How is the mess doing?

I'm dealing with it.

I just, I meant the

flat, not everything else.

I'm sorry.

Can I ask you a question?

Have you ever met her?

Of course.

My wife...

Yes, uhh...

Do you remember my wife?

I do.

Very well.

Better than you probably.

What does that mean?

Which wife do you remember exactly?

The one you met at a cafe?

The one you took to a lake one night?

The one you married?

The one who would stare at the walls for hours

and let the silence drive her insane?

Maybe that's all that's left.

Pictures and messages on my phone.

Are you okay?

You feel off?

I just don't want to look at you.

Why is that?

I think you know.

You have a tendency to always know.

Look, if you wanna talk,

like if you have no one to talk to...

I don't know.

Do you want my number?

Your number?

My real one, by the way.

Not the house cleaning one.

I do other things as well, you know.

Other things?

What kind of things?

I don't know.

Think about it.

But you're still in my life,

and I'm still in yours,

and that's not nothing, right?

It has to mean something.

Well, I guess if you

wanna chat or whatever.

I know you.

I'm still here.

Were we fighting?

You tell me.

Maybe that's how it goes.

In the beginning, it's

just indistinct stutter,

white noise.

It's everything and everywhere, yet

nothing.

Insubstantial.

Shapeless,

Resting beneath the waves.

Until it springs and strikes roots,

contaminates its host,

and then...

...it takes shape.

And you can filter through the noise,

or what you thought was noise all along.

And then,

you start to feel it,

festering.

And then,

you hear it.

I'm still here.

I'm still here.

I'm still here.

No.

You're lying.

You should see your face.

But you could feel it, couldn't you?

Like you did with her.

No.

You don't know what it's like.

You don't know what it was like for me.

Do you?

I'm going to have a bath now.

Don't suppose you would like to join?

I'm leaving.

I said I'm leaving.

Yes.

I heard you the first time.

Yes?

If you want to tell me something,

then tell me.

I do, actually.

Most of my patients find this relaxing.

Do you mind?

I do, actually.

She.

That woman,

sounds toxic to me.

Do you know what I mean?

Yes.

Venomous even.

Cancerous, one might say.

You may want to, in the

interest of your healing process,

remove her from your life.

But how?

How do I do that?

It's quite difficult

to cut people completely

to exorcise them from our lives, but...

What was her name again?

It doesn't matter.

In ancient, less civilized times,

people believed that

demons and other evil entities

could be summoned by uttering their name.

Could be exorcised by

knowing who they were.

But I understand that your

relationship was quite intense,

quite physical,

quite carnal.

Is.

It is

Not just physical.

We're entangled.

I see.

But this woman,

you do know her name.

You have been to her place, no?

You have fucked her in her bed,

you have rung her doorbell,

you know where she lives.

I do.

Well,

the solution seems obvious.

I'm just not sure you're

willing to go through with it.

Cut her out.

Remove her from your life

and start the healing process.

Cut her out completely like a tumor

and maybe some healthy cells

just to make sure.

But

that's just my professional advice.

And I'm afraid that that's

all we have time for today.

You look like a thousand paper cuts.

Light's not working?

Come in then.

Can I get you anything?

Cigarette?

Tea?

Kettle's just boiling.

I'm good.

You don't look good.

You look like the

opposite of someone who's good.

I don't...

I don't feel so good.

I think it's all been

catching up with me.

The suicide?

The cancer?

The life.

Eating away, gnawing,

noisy, everyday life.

And that's all I have left.

Every day.

Every fucking day.

There's that noise.

What is it with this fucking noise?

What is it?

Let me get that real quick.

Is it you?

Stop.

- Stop. - Are you the noise?

Stop it.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I need to know.

Stop it.

Stop it.

You're hurting me.

What is this?

What do you think this is?

Who do you think I am?

What do you think I am?

You think I'm some fucking demon?

I'm just me.

I'm just fucking me.

I mean, we've been

fucking for weeks now and you...

Haven't even asked my name.

Like what does it say on your phone

when I'm texting you?

Oh, you're so full of shit.

I need to get this.

You've done it before.

You can do it again.

You don't kill me.

You don't get to kill me.

You'd better go now.

You'll be late.

It's okay.

You won't die today.

You never die today.

You die a little bit every day

and it's been going on for a long while.