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1
00:00:07,064 --> 00:00:11,063
I'm so tired, my brain's
not working properly.
2
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:15,343
Your brain.
Working properly...
3
00:00:15,464 --> 00:00:18,903
There's a joke in there,
but I'm too shagged to think of it.
4
00:00:18,904 --> 00:00:20,463
Good.
5
00:00:20,464 --> 00:00:22,503
Only half an hour to go
till end of shift.
6
00:00:22,504 --> 00:00:26,503
If we just hide out here,
we'll be OK.
7
00:00:27,104 --> 00:00:27,543
RADIO
8
00:00:27,544 --> 00:00:30,943
'Female, 19 years of age,
unconscious, possible overdose.'
9
00:00:30,944 --> 00:00:34,943
That's your fault, that is.
10
00:00:36,984 --> 00:00:40,983
SOFT MUSIC PLAYS
11
00:00:41,104 --> 00:00:43,983
Fuck!
12
00:00:43,984 --> 00:00:47,983
Actual moonlight.
13
00:01:00,664 --> 00:01:01,903
You've got to be joking.
14
00:01:01,904 --> 00:01:04,583
Catch.
15
00:01:04,584 --> 00:01:08,583
Useless.
16
00:01:13,184 --> 00:01:15,063
Health and safety.
17
00:01:15,064 --> 00:01:17,103
Very loud music.
Stadium-loud.
18
00:01:17,104 --> 00:01:19,503
Plus it's likely to be
stadium-loud shit music.
19
00:01:19,504 --> 00:01:21,823
I'll get the equipment ready.
20
00:01:21,824 --> 00:01:23,703
For the patient.
21
00:01:23,704 --> 00:01:27,223
My ears are sensitive, man.
22
00:01:27,224 --> 00:01:31,223
MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC
23
00:01:40,944 --> 00:01:44,943
LOUD DANCE MUSIC
24
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:49,263
She's over here.
This way.
25
00:01:49,264 --> 00:01:52,903
'Great. A club full of come-downs
waiting to happen.
26
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,743
'Why do human beings insist
on searching after highs?
27
00:01:55,744 --> 00:01:59,543
'News just in - highs generate lows.
28
00:01:59,544 --> 00:02:01,943
'Life is not a roller-coaster.
I repeat,
29
00:02:01,944 --> 00:02:05,063
'life is not a roller-coaster.'
30
00:02:05,064 --> 00:02:08,943
Come here.
Dance with me.
31
00:02:08,944 --> 00:02:11,303
No. I'm not...
I'm not that great a dancer.
32
00:02:11,304 --> 00:02:15,103
You worry too much.
33
00:02:15,104 --> 00:02:18,423
'Life is a nice,
smooth escalator ride.
34
00:02:18,424 --> 00:02:21,743
'From forceps to grave.
See a few films, read a few books,
35
00:02:21,744 --> 00:02:24,183
'bit of sex along the way,
ideally...
36
00:02:24,184 --> 00:02:28,183
'drink or two
with mates - fine.'
37
00:02:36,264 --> 00:02:37,663
Hello?
38
00:02:37,664 --> 00:02:39,423
What's she been drinking, water?
39
00:02:39,424 --> 00:02:42,743
No, Red Bull. We don't let them
drink too much water.
40
00:02:42,744 --> 00:02:46,743
Reckon it's hyperthermia.
41
00:02:49,144 --> 00:02:52,503
'But if you really want
the roller-coaster version,
42
00:02:52,504 --> 00:02:55,223
'then don't whinge to me
about the stress.
43
00:02:55,224 --> 00:02:56,943
'Cos no matter how high you go,
44
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,223
'no matter how
in-the-moment you may get,
45
00:02:59,224 --> 00:03:01,103
'you're already
on your way back down.
46
00:03:01,104 --> 00:03:04,023
'And when you fall...
you better be ready to land.'
47
00:03:04,024 --> 00:03:05,343
Ow. Fuck!
48
00:03:05,344 --> 00:03:07,183
You all right?
49
00:03:07,184 --> 00:03:09,903
No, that bloody hurt!
50
00:03:09,904 --> 00:03:13,903
(CHUCKLES)
The big fireman!
51
00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:12,943
OK, remembering
I'm terminally single,
52
00:04:12,944 --> 00:04:15,463
and that other people's
romantic stuff
53
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:17,543
is an intensely boring subject...
54
00:04:17,544 --> 00:04:20,303
how are things with you and Craig?
55
00:04:20,304 --> 00:04:24,303
Well, you know I've been looking for
a bloke for a while now? Good bloke,
56
00:04:24,304 --> 00:04:27,623
one who'll make me happy,
rest-of-my-life kind of thing?
57
00:04:27,624 --> 00:04:29,023
Yeah?
58
00:04:29,024 --> 00:04:30,423
Well...
59
00:04:30,424 --> 00:04:32,623
I think I've cracked it!
60
00:04:32,624 --> 00:04:35,663
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
I think I'm seeing "bliss".
61
00:04:35,664 --> 00:04:36,343
'Fraid so!
62
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:38,343
RADIO
'Any units available.
63
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:41,423
'Multi-storey car park at
the A1 junction with York Road,
64
00:04:41,424 --> 00:04:44,303
'large scale outrage
to public decency in progress...'
65
00:04:44,304 --> 00:04:48,303
"Outrage to public decency."
66
00:04:49,024 --> 00:04:49,463
RADIO
67
00:04:49,464 --> 00:04:51,743
'Man trapped in car
performing sexual act.'
68
00:04:51,744 --> 00:04:53,063
Sounds like a dogging to me.
69
00:04:53,064 --> 00:04:54,863
Course it does, Miss Marple.
70
00:04:54,864 --> 00:04:58,863
POP DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
71
00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:01,303
Why do we have to attend a dogging?
72
00:05:01,304 --> 00:05:03,743
Back seizure. Oh, fuck.
73
00:05:03,744 --> 00:05:05,223
Can't take the van up.
74
00:05:05,224 --> 00:05:09,223
What, we're walking up
all those stairs?
75
00:05:16,544 --> 00:05:20,543
I'm going to wait in the van.
My feet hurt.
76
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:21,503
I got a blister!
77
00:05:21,504 --> 00:05:25,503
Whatever.
78
00:05:27,984 --> 00:05:31,983
HE TURNS MUSIC UP
79
00:05:35,184 --> 00:05:37,903
Love is a many a splendoured thing.
Don't you think?
80
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:39,983
"Sordid" doesn't quite capture this.
81
00:05:39,984 --> 00:05:40,543
RADIO
82
00:05:40,544 --> 00:05:44,543
'9-100 Female trapped in car
under male with spinal injury.'
83
00:05:55,944 --> 00:05:57,903
I've got to get out of here,
I've got Ofsted tomorrow!
84
00:05:57,904 --> 00:06:01,423
You are aware you're
breaking the law?
85
00:06:01,424 --> 00:06:05,423
Is my husband still here?
It's a Blue Renault Espace.
86
00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:10,743
There's a National Trust
sticker in the window.
87
00:06:10,744 --> 00:06:13,103
Love is in the air, eh?
88
00:06:13,104 --> 00:06:17,103
Maybe for some, aye.
89
00:06:19,064 --> 00:06:21,343
Message received...
90
00:06:21,344 --> 00:06:22,903
There's no Espace.
91
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,703
That arsehole. And, you!
If you've got ruptured discs
92
00:06:25,704 --> 00:06:27,743
you should have
informed the community.
93
00:06:27,744 --> 00:06:30,103
There are rules!
And you've shit taste in music.
94
00:06:30,104 --> 00:06:30,863
SHE SLAPS HIM
95
00:06:30,864 --> 00:06:33,103
Wait till you're out
the car to beat him up,
96
00:06:33,104 --> 00:06:37,103
you'll get a much better swing
on your punch.
97
00:06:37,904 --> 00:06:41,183
We're going to cut you out.
We'll be quick as we can, OK?
98
00:06:41,184 --> 00:06:42,343
Yeah.
99
00:06:42,344 --> 00:06:44,263
We're gonna have
to take the roof off,
100
00:06:44,264 --> 00:06:46,343
but it's keeping him calm
while we cut.
101
00:06:46,344 --> 00:06:48,703
Right. Tricky.
102
00:06:48,704 --> 00:06:52,183
I have the solution.
103
00:06:52,184 --> 00:06:53,863
OK, I have a little syringe here.
104
00:06:53,864 --> 00:06:56,863
It's just some relaxant
with a bit of painkiller thrown in.
105
00:06:56,864 --> 00:07:00,263
I can't do needles!
Are you going to do it now?
106
00:07:00,264 --> 00:07:01,543
Not yet. I'll tell you...
107
00:07:01,544 --> 00:07:02,063
(HOWLS)
108
00:07:02,064 --> 00:07:02,703
..when.
109
00:07:02,704 --> 00:07:03,703
Fuck you!
110
00:07:03,704 --> 00:07:04,743
You're welcome.
111
00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:06,663
You'll feel it kick in soon.
Breathe, yeah?
112
00:07:06,664 --> 00:07:07,703
Yeah.
113
00:07:07,704 --> 00:07:09,263
Can you not give him
a jab of the real stuff?
114
00:07:09,264 --> 00:07:12,783
I'm not qualified. He thinks he's
been injected. It's all in the head.
115
00:07:12,784 --> 00:07:13,823
Nice one.
116
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:16,023
He'll soon work it out
in about ten minutes.
117
00:07:16,024 --> 00:07:20,023
Then he'll be panicking like fuck.
118
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:26,503
Won't be long now.
119
00:07:26,504 --> 00:07:28,143
Are Maxine and Craig?
(WHISTLES).
120
00:07:28,144 --> 00:07:32,143
I believe they are, yeah.
121
00:07:32,264 --> 00:07:33,303
When?
122
00:07:33,304 --> 00:07:35,703
It's a very recent development.
123
00:07:35,704 --> 00:07:37,343
Didn't see that coming.
124
00:07:37,344 --> 00:07:38,383
No.
125
00:07:38,384 --> 00:07:40,623
So you going to run
them down the station?
126
00:07:40,624 --> 00:07:44,623
Well, it depends.
Feeling generous all of a sudden.
127
00:07:45,344 --> 00:07:47,503
While they're cutting these two out,
128
00:07:47,504 --> 00:07:49,623
we could have a quickie
in the engine.
129
00:07:49,624 --> 00:07:52,783
Yeah, I think that'd probably
send out the wrong message?
130
00:07:52,784 --> 00:07:53,903
Spoilsport.
131
00:07:53,904 --> 00:07:57,903
Gaffer, come
and have a look at this!
132
00:08:19,424 --> 00:08:21,503
'I thought we'd never get him out.'
133
00:08:21,504 --> 00:08:23,903
You all right about that?
Maxine and Craig?
134
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,703
Yeah. She's happy, so I'm pleased.
135
00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:27,583
She's a good mate.
Been mates since uni.
136
00:08:27,584 --> 00:08:29,343
That'll change.
137
00:08:29,344 --> 00:08:30,143
Will it? Why?
138
00:08:30,144 --> 00:08:33,263
He's not going to want you
crowding the scene, is he?
139
00:08:33,264 --> 00:08:34,783
Just saying...
140
00:08:34,784 --> 00:08:36,303
he's not going to want you around.
141
00:08:36,304 --> 00:08:40,303
Suppose not.
142
00:08:42,584 --> 00:08:44,903
Thanks so much for not arresting me.
143
00:08:44,904 --> 00:08:46,943
You've got Ofsted tomorrow...
144
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,863
and I like teachers.
145
00:08:48,864 --> 00:08:52,383
Last thing we want
is less teachers in the classroom.
146
00:08:52,384 --> 00:08:55,823
Cos that means more feral kids
on the streets and more paperwork.
147
00:08:55,824 --> 00:08:58,583
Only I'm not a teacher,
I'm an inspector.
148
00:08:58,584 --> 00:09:01,303
OK, turn the car round.
Is cell number five free?
149
00:09:01,304 --> 00:09:02,863
What?
150
00:09:02,864 --> 00:09:04,223
I'm joking.
151
00:09:04,224 --> 00:09:07,223
Oh, look - blue Espace.
152
00:09:07,224 --> 00:09:11,223
Yes, this is the one.
153
00:09:19,464 --> 00:09:23,463
OK, this is a caution but next time,
it probably won't be us,
154
00:09:23,944 --> 00:09:27,943
you will be arrested and charged
and it will go on your record.
155
00:09:30,024 --> 00:09:31,063
Can I ask you something?
156
00:09:31,064 --> 00:09:32,383
What?
157
00:09:32,384 --> 00:09:34,983
You're a professional woman.
158
00:09:34,984 --> 00:09:37,143
A charge of public indecency,
it would...
159
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:40,383
it would wreck your career.
160
00:09:40,384 --> 00:09:41,703
Why risk it?
161
00:09:41,704 --> 00:09:44,623
I thought it'd take me out
of myself.
162
00:09:44,624 --> 00:09:46,103
Lose control a bit, you know.
163
00:09:46,104 --> 00:09:48,503
Stop me worrying.
164
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,383
Relieve the stress.
165
00:09:50,384 --> 00:09:52,703
Well, I think it's safe to say,
that it didn't.
166
00:09:52,704 --> 00:09:56,383
The opposite.
167
00:09:56,384 --> 00:09:59,943
Ah! There you are, Shirley.
168
00:09:59,944 --> 00:10:01,783
You were a long time...
169
00:10:01,784 --> 00:10:02,863
down the shops.
170
00:10:02,864 --> 00:10:05,023
Oh, shut up you gutless dick-wad.
171
00:10:05,024 --> 00:10:09,023
Go and pour me a glass of red.
A large.
172
00:10:10,704 --> 00:10:14,703
Yeah, nice one.
Looking after me!
173
00:10:20,544 --> 00:10:22,383
Shall we get back
and do some paperwork then?
174
00:10:22,384 --> 00:10:26,383
Yeah. Come on. I'm on a roll.
175
00:10:42,544 --> 00:10:44,743
I'm getting anxious
just reading the sign.
176
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:45,863
Mm.
177
00:10:45,864 --> 00:10:48,343
Bollocks bingo?
178
00:10:48,344 --> 00:10:49,223
Yep. Come on.
179
00:10:49,224 --> 00:10:50,623
What's that?
180
00:10:50,624 --> 00:10:52,903
Ten words.
Subject specific.
181
00:10:52,904 --> 00:10:56,903
Big words.
"And" and "but" don't count.
182
00:10:59,824 --> 00:11:01,863
I'll tell you what stress is.
183
00:11:01,864 --> 00:11:04,303
'Stress is a fucking gravy train.'
184
00:11:04,304 --> 00:11:05,383
Stress.
185
00:11:05,384 --> 00:11:06,463
Yes!
186
00:11:06,464 --> 00:11:09,423
In engineering, stress is what
happens when a piece of metal fails.
187
00:11:09,424 --> 00:11:11,343
Genius, well done.
188
00:11:11,344 --> 00:11:15,303
Because maybe there's a fault
in the metal that no-one detected.
189
00:11:15,304 --> 00:11:18,943
It's a bit like that with humans.
So we experience stress
190
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:22,343
when we fail to adequately deal
with the emotional demands
191
00:11:22,344 --> 00:11:23,463
made on us by life.
192
00:11:23,464 --> 00:11:24,543
"Emotional", "demands."
193
00:11:24,544 --> 00:11:26,023
Jesus, this is patronising.
194
00:11:26,024 --> 00:11:28,863
Now, the underlying causes of stress
may not always be the obvious ones.
195
00:11:28,864 --> 00:11:31,823
"Underlying causes."
Two words or one?
196
00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:32,863
I've got that down as one.
197
00:11:32,864 --> 00:11:35,303
It's the hidden stuff.
It's the stuff we ignore.
198
00:11:35,304 --> 00:11:37,223
The insidious causes.
199
00:11:37,224 --> 00:11:37,863
"Insidious."
200
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,943
Insidious? Good call.
201
00:11:38,944 --> 00:11:41,463
You're all pretty well
functional human beings.
202
00:11:41,464 --> 00:11:43,143
You must be. It's stressful work
203
00:11:43,144 --> 00:11:44,143
tending sick and vulnerable people.
204
00:11:44,144 --> 00:11:47,383
Yes!
205
00:11:47,384 --> 00:11:50,343
Incredibly long shifts.
Limited resources.
206
00:11:50,344 --> 00:11:52,503
You all have coping mechanisms.
207
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:55,903
Got that.
208
00:11:55,904 --> 00:11:59,503
And of course, there's always
been support available.
209
00:11:59,504 --> 00:12:00,783
Those things...
210
00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:01,343
"Support."
211
00:12:01,344 --> 00:12:02,863
Hey, support, yeah, easy.
212
00:12:02,864 --> 00:12:05,063
And the support that we provide,
213
00:12:05,064 --> 00:12:07,663
they prevent
the negative effects of stress
214
00:12:07,664 --> 00:12:09,783
from impinging on your well-being.
215
00:12:09,784 --> 00:12:10,943
"Impinging."
216
00:12:10,944 --> 00:12:13,343
Fuck sake.
"Well-being."
217
00:12:13,344 --> 00:12:14,143
We fail to plan
and to prioritise...
218
00:12:14,144 --> 00:12:16,503
You don't stand a chance.
219
00:12:16,504 --> 00:12:20,503
"Prioritise"
House!
220
00:12:27,784 --> 00:12:31,063
So what happens when things change?
221
00:12:31,064 --> 00:12:34,463
When new situations arise?
222
00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:36,503
Unfamiliar emotions
223
00:12:36,504 --> 00:12:40,503
that threaten to overwhelm your
tried and tested coping mechanisms?
224
00:12:42,784 --> 00:12:45,503
Metal starts to crack.
225
00:12:45,504 --> 00:12:49,503
Little cracks at first, but
unchecked they grow, they spread.
226
00:12:54,704 --> 00:12:57,183
We need to be looking out
for each other.
227
00:12:57,184 --> 00:13:00,463
Watching for the little warning
signs of stress in our colleagues.
228
00:13:00,464 --> 00:13:03,623
A fucking piece of cake - every move
you make's a sign of stress.
229
00:13:03,624 --> 00:13:07,423
Not... not in an invasive way.
Just let's look out for our mates
230
00:13:07,424 --> 00:13:10,063
and if you spot any
of those tell-tale signs.
231
00:13:10,064 --> 00:13:12,703
Then you report them to me.
So they can be dealt with.
232
00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:15,863
Supported. Encouraged
to talk through the problem.
233
00:13:15,864 --> 00:13:17,343
During your lunch break.
234
00:13:17,344 --> 00:13:20,423
Or at a time of their convenience
when their shift is over. Yes?
235
00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:21,463
Yes.
236
00:13:21,464 --> 00:13:21,903
Yes.
237
00:13:21,904 --> 00:13:23,499
But it won't count as overtime.
238
00:13:41,379 --> 00:13:43,895
Cheers.
That were generous of us,
239
00:13:43,896 --> 00:13:46,095
letting them off with
just a caution.
240
00:13:46,096 --> 00:13:49,375
Yeah, well, before you ask,
no, I have not gone soft.
241
00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:52,615
The woman had no previous,
she won't be back.
242
00:13:52,616 --> 00:13:53,335
You all right?
243
00:13:53,336 --> 00:13:55,255
Yeah, it's just...
244
00:13:55,256 --> 00:13:57,815
What?
245
00:13:57,816 --> 00:14:00,215
I sent him a text, he's not replied.
246
00:14:00,216 --> 00:14:01,335
When?
247
00:14:01,336 --> 00:14:02,655
Last night, at the Dog Inn.
248
00:14:02,656 --> 00:14:03,895
Well, give him a chance.
249
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:06,135
Yeah, I know,
and he's still on shift, so...
250
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,575
You seeing him tonight?
251
00:14:07,576 --> 00:14:11,575
No, tomorrow.
252
00:14:12,296 --> 00:14:15,455
It's just the text I sent him were...
253
00:14:15,456 --> 00:14:17,855
It were a bit full on.
254
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:20,215
I'm just going to text him again.
255
00:14:20,216 --> 00:14:24,215
Then that'll be two he owes you.
256
00:14:26,296 --> 00:14:27,415
Yeah.
257
00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:31,415
It will.
258
00:14:39,096 --> 00:14:42,095
OK, here's what's happening.
259
00:14:42,096 --> 00:14:44,695
Stuart is in denial.
260
00:14:44,696 --> 00:14:46,695
About Dibble fucking Trumpton.
261
00:14:46,696 --> 00:14:49,855
Do you even know who Dibble is?
Or where Trumpton's located?
262
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,015
Irrelevant.
263
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:53,935
You're in denial about
the policewoman and the fireboy.
264
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:57,775
Splendid theory.
One flaw - it's balls.
265
00:14:57,776 --> 00:15:00,455
Well, my splendid theory
actually includes the idea
266
00:15:00,456 --> 00:15:03,415
that you'd think it were balls.
Because you're in denial.
267
00:15:03,416 --> 00:15:04,815
So I can't critique your theory?
268
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:08,175
No. Stick that in your pipe.
269
00:15:08,176 --> 00:15:09,695
Can I critique it?
270
00:15:09,696 --> 00:15:10,775
Yeah.
271
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:13,375
It's balls.
272
00:15:13,376 --> 00:15:15,015
Well, I haven't finished yet.
273
00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:16,455
So we're just going to
get bigger balls?
274
00:15:16,456 --> 00:15:17,935
You're obsessed, aren't you?
275
00:15:17,936 --> 00:15:19,095
OK, go on.
276
00:15:19,096 --> 00:15:22,415
He's in denial about his best mate
and the fireman being an item.
277
00:15:22,416 --> 00:15:25,535
And the more he keeps it up,
the more pain he'll have to...
278
00:15:25,536 --> 00:15:26,535
Suppress?
279
00:15:26,536 --> 00:15:27,855
Suppress, bingo.
280
00:15:27,856 --> 00:15:29,695
So it'll bubble up as stress.
281
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:32,015
And how will we know?
282
00:15:32,016 --> 00:15:35,255
He'll be a complete
fucking arse to work with.
283
00:15:35,256 --> 00:15:37,095
He generally is, though.
He's a prickly fuckwit.
284
00:15:37,096 --> 00:15:38,655
I don't mind "prickly"...
285
00:15:38,656 --> 00:15:41,055
If you're trying to get me
to break my back
286
00:15:41,056 --> 00:15:44,335
to show you how fucking serene
I can be to prove you wrong,
287
00:15:44,336 --> 00:15:45,415
you can forget it.
288
00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:46,895
It ain't going to happen.
289
00:15:46,896 --> 00:15:48,495
Shit, rumbled.
290
00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:49,215
Yeah.
291
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,575
Good try.
292
00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:53,575
Look, I don't experience stress,
it's programmed out.
293
00:15:53,576 --> 00:15:56,535
Nothing I see in this job
throws me from my equilibrium.
294
00:15:56,536 --> 00:15:58,295
What about when
you're away from work?
295
00:15:58,296 --> 00:16:00,055
Away from work?
296
00:16:00,056 --> 00:16:01,575
Yeah, I believe it's called life.
297
00:16:01,576 --> 00:16:04,095
Again, nothing throws me.
298
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:05,895
Life is smooth and easy.
299
00:16:05,896 --> 00:16:07,575
And fuck boring.
300
00:16:07,576 --> 00:16:09,055
RADIO BEEPS
301
00:16:09,056 --> 00:16:12,615
(OVER RADIO)
'Man, 62, hit by a falling tree.
302
00:16:12,616 --> 00:16:14,375
'Assistance required.'
303
00:16:14,376 --> 00:16:16,175
Here we go again.
304
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:19,215
Just briefly,
are you OK though, truly?
305
00:16:19,216 --> 00:16:22,255
Dunno, never seen Maxine
in love before.
306
00:16:22,256 --> 00:16:23,895
She never has been.
307
00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:27,895
It's totally new territory.
308
00:16:48,596 --> 00:16:49,815
(LAUGHS)
309
00:16:49,816 --> 00:16:52,015
Ha-ha-ha!
310
00:16:52,016 --> 00:16:53,575
Good, in't it?
311
00:16:53,576 --> 00:16:54,815
Payback!
312
00:16:54,816 --> 00:16:57,575
You made an effort.
I'm very impressed.
313
00:16:57,576 --> 00:17:00,695
Superb! You are so close to becoming
a fully fucked-up member
314
00:17:00,696 --> 00:17:02,015
of the EMT fraternity.
315
00:17:02,016 --> 00:17:05,095
It's not just a gag, though.
That is a therapeutic tool.
316
00:17:05,096 --> 00:17:06,855
A therapeutic tool?
317
00:17:06,856 --> 00:17:10,095
Mmm-hmm. I'm trying to flush it out,
all the hurt you're hiding.
318
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:11,135
Why?
319
00:17:11,136 --> 00:17:14,975
You can't leave all that jealous shit
inside you. And I'm out with the FRU.
320
00:17:14,976 --> 00:17:18,415
Taking t'piss out you is going give
Ashley something to laugh about.
321
00:17:18,416 --> 00:17:20,095
You're there to cheer Ashley up.
322
00:17:20,096 --> 00:17:20,855
So I'm the therapeutic tool?
323
00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:22,295
Got it in one.
324
00:17:22,296 --> 00:17:24,135
Since when have I been jealous?
325
00:17:24,136 --> 00:17:27,255
Dear, oh, dear.
326
00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:30,255
Look at the tool.
Don't take your eyes off that tool.
327
00:17:30,256 --> 00:17:34,255
Keep your eyes on the tool!
328
00:17:44,456 --> 00:17:46,095
Hiya.
329
00:17:46,096 --> 00:17:48,695
Morning. You all right?
330
00:17:48,696 --> 00:17:51,215
Yeah.
331
00:17:51,216 --> 00:17:54,535
Busy day ahead, buffing up your pole?
332
00:17:54,536 --> 00:17:58,375
No, I've got someone to do
that for me nowadays.
333
00:17:58,376 --> 00:18:00,455
'When she's not texting me,
that is.'
334
00:18:00,456 --> 00:18:02,775
Charming!
335
00:18:02,776 --> 00:18:05,615
Umm... do you... er...
336
00:18:05,616 --> 00:18:08,575
do you fancy meeting for lunch?
337
00:18:08,576 --> 00:18:10,495
Uh... OK.
338
00:18:10,496 --> 00:18:12,495
Where do you have in mind?
339
00:18:12,496 --> 00:18:13,735
I could... um...
340
00:18:13,736 --> 00:18:16,535
I'll come to you,
hang with the strapping fireboys.
341
00:18:16,536 --> 00:18:18,375
OK, I'll see you later.
342
00:18:18,376 --> 00:18:22,375
All right, I'll see you.
343
00:18:27,336 --> 00:18:31,335
Should have trained to be
a bloody nurse.
344
00:18:33,576 --> 00:18:36,335
Do you want a coffee?
345
00:18:36,336 --> 00:18:37,815
No, thank you, sir.
346
00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:40,695
I'd love a coffee, me.
347
00:18:40,696 --> 00:18:42,215
Do you want me to get you one?
348
00:18:42,216 --> 00:18:45,135
No, can't. Caffeine.
349
00:18:45,136 --> 00:18:47,815
Better watch the ticker.
350
00:18:47,816 --> 00:18:51,255
Anyway, I'm having to lose
three more beat officers this month.
351
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,975
Yeah.
352
00:18:53,976 --> 00:18:55,415
Shit, I'm not for the chop,
am I, sir?
353
00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:58,255
No way. You're a female.
354
00:18:58,256 --> 00:19:02,255
Got my quotas to worry about.
355
00:19:05,696 --> 00:19:08,535
I've been encouraged
to suspend admission
356
00:19:08,536 --> 00:19:12,535
to the detective inspector course
for the next two years.
357
00:19:13,136 --> 00:19:16,175
Freeze folk in their posts
for a while.
358
00:19:16,176 --> 00:19:17,295
But you're not going...
359
00:19:17,296 --> 00:19:20,135
Yes, I am.
360
00:19:20,136 --> 00:19:22,935
Just not yet.
361
00:19:22,936 --> 00:19:26,935
I have two places left.
One's already got a name on it.
362
00:19:27,536 --> 00:19:31,535
I want you on the other one. OK?
363
00:19:32,376 --> 00:19:33,575
Yeah.
364
00:19:33,576 --> 00:19:37,575
Yeah!
365
00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:42,375
Domestic fight.
366
00:19:42,376 --> 00:19:44,415
Two females, mid-20s.
367
00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:46,455
Do we have to attend
a hair-pulling contest?
368
00:19:46,456 --> 00:19:48,495
Patients are of Russian descent.
369
00:19:48,496 --> 00:19:52,495
Fuck. Not going in there
without police protection.
370
00:19:52,496 --> 00:19:55,015
ANGRY SHOUTING
371
00:19:55,016 --> 00:19:57,055
I bet they're fighting
over some bloke.
372
00:19:57,056 --> 00:20:01,055
SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN
373
00:20:01,096 --> 00:20:01,695
Pack it in!
374
00:20:01,696 --> 00:20:03,335
She getting the better of you?
375
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,055
She were armed with
an eight-foot plank of wood!
376
00:20:05,056 --> 00:20:06,335
Aw!
377
00:20:06,336 --> 00:20:07,855
You want me to leave you
alone with her?
378
00:20:07,856 --> 00:20:10,455
No, thank you.
379
00:20:10,456 --> 00:20:11,895
(SHOUTS IN RUSSIAN)
380
00:20:11,896 --> 00:20:13,935
Calm down, yeah? Chill!
381
00:20:13,936 --> 00:20:15,455
Chill, yes!
382
00:20:15,456 --> 00:20:17,255
Chill now. And then I kill her!
383
00:20:17,256 --> 00:20:20,735
OK, that remark alone guarantees
you a stay in the cells.
384
00:20:20,736 --> 00:20:21,695
It's only joke.
385
00:20:21,696 --> 00:20:23,335
Yeah, look at my face,
I'm laughing!
386
00:20:23,336 --> 00:20:24,855
(SPEAKS RUSSIAN)
387
00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:27,215
English, please.
388
00:20:27,216 --> 00:20:29,615
She says you need to get fucked
more often!
389
00:20:29,616 --> 00:20:33,455
Ha! Advice, how kind!
390
00:20:33,456 --> 00:20:36,975
Come on, ladies, let's go.
391
00:20:36,976 --> 00:20:40,695
Little does she know,
you are getting fucked more often.
392
00:20:40,696 --> 00:20:42,495
Indeed.
393
00:20:42,496 --> 00:20:44,735
So how's it going with the fireman?
394
00:20:44,736 --> 00:20:46,735
What, you really want to know?
395
00:20:46,736 --> 00:20:50,735
You're not going to find it boring?
396
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:54,655
It's really weird, Stu.
397
00:20:54,656 --> 00:20:57,815
It's incredible, lovely.
398
00:20:57,816 --> 00:21:01,815
Like butterflies in my stomach,
I can't stop thinking about him...
399
00:21:02,976 --> 00:21:04,175
the whole deal.
400
00:21:04,176 --> 00:21:06,815
That's what love does to you.
401
00:21:06,816 --> 00:21:08,055
Serotonin, actually.
402
00:21:08,056 --> 00:21:08,695
Serotonin?
403
00:21:08,696 --> 00:21:10,935
It's a neural messenger.
404
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:11,695
What are we going to do with you?
405
00:21:11,696 --> 00:21:13,215
I'm serious.
406
00:21:13,216 --> 00:21:15,535
It sends emotional
messages round the brain.
407
00:21:15,536 --> 00:21:17,335
If I had a fMRI scanner
I'd show you.
408
00:21:17,336 --> 00:21:19,375
And you don't? Some mate!
409
00:21:19,376 --> 00:21:21,975
They don't load us with
that kind of hardware.
410
00:21:21,976 --> 00:21:24,295
But if they did,
do you know what you'd see?
411
00:21:24,296 --> 00:21:27,575
Serotonin clustered in the brain
in a way you only see in two types...
412
00:21:27,576 --> 00:21:28,535
sappy loved-up bastards like you...
413
00:21:28,536 --> 00:21:30,095
Yeah?
414
00:21:30,096 --> 00:21:32,335
And patients with OCD.
415
00:21:32,336 --> 00:21:34,175
Is that so?
416
00:21:34,176 --> 00:21:35,935
It's an obsession, isn't it?
417
00:21:35,936 --> 00:21:39,855
You said so yourself,
"I can't stop thinking about him."
418
00:21:39,856 --> 00:21:41,215
Yeah.
419
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:44,855
Love is just brain chemistry. There
are labs where they can synthesise
420
00:21:44,856 --> 00:21:46,735
that kind of feeling into pill form.
421
00:21:46,736 --> 00:21:48,935
Oh, Stuart!
422
00:21:48,936 --> 00:21:51,895
You're such a loser.
423
00:21:51,896 --> 00:21:54,735
I've got some more good news.
424
00:21:54,736 --> 00:21:58,135
I'm taking the preliminaries
for the DI course.
425
00:21:58,136 --> 00:22:00,575
Fuck, that's fantastic!
426
00:22:00,576 --> 00:22:04,215
It's only like everything
you've worked towards, ever.
427
00:22:04,216 --> 00:22:05,415
Really moving on.
428
00:22:05,416 --> 00:22:06,935
It's going to be hard though,
429
00:22:06,936 --> 00:22:08,575
I've got to pass a load of tests,
430
00:22:08,576 --> 00:22:10,975
pass a few interviews,
then the course itself.
431
00:22:10,976 --> 00:22:13,135
It's pretty intensive.
432
00:22:13,136 --> 00:22:17,135
Yeah, but you're brilliant
at that shit.
433
00:22:17,216 --> 00:22:19,215
You eat stuff like
that for breakfast.
434
00:22:19,216 --> 00:22:20,575
You always have done.
435
00:22:20,576 --> 00:22:23,615
The bizarre thing is I think
you'll actually enjoy it.
436
00:22:23,616 --> 00:22:24,615
Yeah...
437
00:22:24,616 --> 00:22:28,615
Stuart, we need to get
Anna Karenina here to A&E.
438
00:22:34,976 --> 00:22:36,255
OK.
439
00:22:36,256 --> 00:22:39,695
Small announcement to make,
no fuss or anything, but...
440
00:22:39,696 --> 00:22:41,255
That hurt.
441
00:22:41,256 --> 00:22:42,695
A bit.
442
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:43,935
Talking to Maxine.
443
00:22:43,936 --> 00:22:47,455
Fuck!
Is that an actual, real emotion?
444
00:22:47,456 --> 00:22:48,655
Yeah.
445
00:22:48,656 --> 00:22:50,695
You're planning to talk to
me about it?
446
00:22:50,696 --> 00:22:52,655
I know, what the fuck am I thinking?
447
00:22:52,656 --> 00:22:53,335
Go on.
448
00:22:53,336 --> 00:22:55,775
Well, I just thought
we'd carry on, you know,
449
00:22:55,776 --> 00:22:57,935
her and me, being mates.
450
00:22:57,936 --> 00:23:00,775
Silly, I suppose.
451
00:23:00,776 --> 00:23:04,775
And... so how does this
make you feel?
452
00:23:05,136 --> 00:23:06,935
I think...
453
00:23:06,936 --> 00:23:08,975
I'm a little bit disappointed
with her.
454
00:23:08,976 --> 00:23:10,855
Disappointed.
455
00:23:10,856 --> 00:23:12,535
Hmm.
456
00:23:12,536 --> 00:23:14,935
What?
457
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:18,935
It grieves me to say this,
but could Rachid be right for once?
458
00:23:19,296 --> 00:23:20,695
Right how?
459
00:23:20,696 --> 00:23:23,575
It's jealousy.
It's stressing you out.
460
00:23:23,576 --> 00:23:24,775
No, no, no.
461
00:23:24,776 --> 00:23:25,495
OK.
462
00:23:25,496 --> 00:23:26,295
No, I'm not jealous.
463
00:23:26,296 --> 00:23:27,735
Great.
464
00:23:27,736 --> 00:23:30,055
Can we stop being sincere?
It's freaking me out.
465
00:23:30,056 --> 00:23:31,770
Absolutely.
466
00:23:43,324 --> 00:23:47,323
Surprise, surprise,
he's on the phone again when
there's work to be done.
467
00:23:50,924 --> 00:23:54,923
PHONE RINGS
468
00:23:55,007 --> 00:23:56,246
Hiya.
469
00:23:56,247 --> 00:23:58,446
I have got some major news.
470
00:23:58,447 --> 00:23:59,766
Oh, yeah? Go on.
471
00:23:59,767 --> 00:24:03,126
Yeah,
I'll tell you about it over lunch.
472
00:24:03,127 --> 00:24:06,806
Er, yeah... Um, about lunch...
473
00:24:06,807 --> 00:24:08,286
Yeah?
474
00:24:08,287 --> 00:24:12,166
Well, it's just that I'm with
all the guys. They're, um...
475
00:24:12,167 --> 00:24:14,486
They're a pretty laddish
bunch, you know.
476
00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:16,766
We could do dinner.
That'd be nice.
477
00:24:16,767 --> 00:24:20,366
We can talk properly.
You can tell me your news.
478
00:24:20,367 --> 00:24:22,766
Yeah, that'd be fine.
479
00:24:22,767 --> 00:24:23,566
Gaffer, there's a shout!
480
00:24:23,567 --> 00:24:25,486
I've got to go. We've got a call.
481
00:24:25,487 --> 00:24:28,046
Oh.
OK, well, I'll...
482
00:24:28,047 --> 00:24:30,286
Right. Yeah, see you later.
483
00:24:30,287 --> 00:24:34,286
See you.
484
00:24:34,727 --> 00:24:35,846
OK...
485
00:24:35,847 --> 00:24:37,926
(WALKIE TALKIE)
'Incident in Hatton Grove.
486
00:24:37,927 --> 00:24:41,686
'Middle-aged man, aggressive,
drunk and disorderly.
Proceed with caution.'
487
00:24:41,687 --> 00:24:45,686
All right. Message received.
488
00:24:46,487 --> 00:24:50,486
Drunk and disorderly.
I'll bet we run into Ashley again.
489
00:24:51,807 --> 00:24:55,806
Drunk's probably fallen over
or someone's hit him or something.
490
00:24:56,447 --> 00:25:00,446
We just seem cursed to keep
bumping into each other.
491
00:25:01,807 --> 00:25:04,566
Oi, everything all right?
492
00:25:04,567 --> 00:25:06,406
Yeah.
493
00:25:06,407 --> 00:25:08,566
Are you hoping
you'll run into Ashley?
494
00:25:08,567 --> 00:25:12,566
Not quite.
495
00:25:26,607 --> 00:25:30,606
I'll go in and draw him.
You take his hammer arm.
496
00:25:31,047 --> 00:25:33,326
So what's this all about, mate?
497
00:25:33,327 --> 00:25:37,326
I'm protesting against cuts.
498
00:25:37,647 --> 00:25:39,366
Shouldn't that be a bank?
499
00:25:39,367 --> 00:25:41,606
Tried that.
Fuckers won't let us get near.
500
00:25:41,607 --> 00:25:45,166
Just hand it over. It's a bit early
in the morning to be this hammered.
501
00:25:45,167 --> 00:25:47,246
That is such a shit joke.
502
00:25:47,247 --> 00:25:50,126
How about putting the hammer down?
503
00:25:50,127 --> 00:25:53,646
Someone's going to get hurt,
all right.
504
00:25:53,647 --> 00:25:55,406
Doesn't have to go that way, mate.
505
00:25:55,407 --> 00:25:56,886
Fuck!
506
00:25:56,887 --> 00:25:58,286
Careful, Ryan!
507
00:25:58,287 --> 00:26:02,286
ZAP
508
00:26:10,407 --> 00:26:13,046
What the fuck was that?
509
00:26:13,047 --> 00:26:14,566
Did she just zap me?
510
00:26:14,567 --> 00:26:17,006
I'll have you, darling.
511
00:26:17,007 --> 00:26:19,646
Police Complaints Commission.
512
00:26:19,647 --> 00:26:23,646
Dream on, sunshine.
513
00:26:30,287 --> 00:26:32,846
Just a bit of a wobble, that's all.
514
00:26:32,847 --> 00:26:35,126
Fucking lost it.
515
00:26:35,127 --> 00:26:37,046
I didn't even issue him a warning.
516
00:26:37,047 --> 00:26:41,046
Sergeant...
517
00:26:46,887 --> 00:26:48,366
I want you to see the boss.
518
00:26:48,367 --> 00:26:51,366
And I've booked your
role-play sessions.
519
00:26:51,367 --> 00:26:54,486
Let's start the promotion process.
520
00:26:54,487 --> 00:26:56,406
Are you all right?
521
00:26:56,407 --> 00:26:59,366
Yeah. Yes. Most definitely.
522
00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:03,366
Excellent.
523
00:27:18,727 --> 00:27:20,886
Ah, good, you answered.
524
00:27:20,887 --> 00:27:23,206
Look, I need to have a word.
525
00:27:23,207 --> 00:27:27,086
It can't wait, so
if you've got time...
526
00:27:27,087 --> 00:27:28,486
The cafe.
527
00:27:28,487 --> 00:27:32,486
Great. I'll see you in 15.
528
00:27:33,407 --> 00:27:35,686
You deployed a Taser?
No point in having a toy
529
00:27:35,687 --> 00:27:37,766
if you can't play with it,
occasionally.
530
00:27:37,767 --> 00:27:40,206
It's not funny.
531
00:27:40,207 --> 00:27:44,086
What's on your mind?
532
00:27:44,087 --> 00:27:46,846
You know how I've always taken
stuff in me stride,
533
00:27:46,847 --> 00:27:49,006
like everything
I've ever achieved.
534
00:27:49,007 --> 00:27:51,646
Yeah, in an uber-effective way
which terrifies me.
535
00:27:51,647 --> 00:27:55,126
I'm feeling really stressed,
and right now that is not good.
536
00:27:55,127 --> 00:27:59,126
It's like suddenly my judgment's
gone out the window.
537
00:27:59,967 --> 00:28:01,926
And this DI course...
538
00:28:01,927 --> 00:28:03,606
I really want to get it.
539
00:28:03,607 --> 00:28:07,606
And you will. You have faith
in your abilities, don't you?
540
00:28:07,727 --> 00:28:09,006
Yeah.
541
00:28:09,007 --> 00:28:12,286
Hang on. There was a pause there
and a not quite convincing "yeah".
542
00:28:12,287 --> 00:28:14,886
This is the big one, Stuart.
It's the real deal.
543
00:28:14,887 --> 00:28:17,846
Every stage is the real deal.
Why are you losing confidence?
544
00:28:17,847 --> 00:28:19,726
I don't know. It's just...
545
00:28:19,727 --> 00:28:21,886
Ah, fuck it, it'll be fine.
546
00:28:21,887 --> 00:28:23,846
A little bit of stress is good.
547
00:28:23,847 --> 00:28:26,766
A bit of stress. I still don't
see why this is different,
548
00:28:26,767 --> 00:28:28,686
why things have changed suddenly.
549
00:28:28,687 --> 00:28:32,686
Thanks.
550
00:28:33,207 --> 00:28:35,566
How's everything else?
551
00:28:35,567 --> 00:28:38,366
Yeah, it's good.
Craig's really pleased.
552
00:28:38,367 --> 00:28:39,526
Yeah?
553
00:28:39,527 --> 00:28:42,326
Yeah.
554
00:28:42,327 --> 00:28:43,846
I mean, I think he is.
555
00:28:43,847 --> 00:28:47,206
I mean, he doesn't show it so much,
556
00:28:47,207 --> 00:28:51,046
but he's not so, um...
demonstrative.
557
00:28:51,047 --> 00:28:53,286
Oh, I just don't know.
558
00:28:53,287 --> 00:28:57,286
It's like sometimes
he's not that into me.
559
00:28:57,647 --> 00:29:00,886
He doesn't reply to my texts,
he cancels our dates.
560
00:29:00,887 --> 00:29:02,726
I just don't know where I stand.
561
00:29:02,727 --> 00:29:04,726
Maxine?
562
00:29:04,727 --> 00:29:05,966
Yeah.
563
00:29:05,967 --> 00:29:09,006
I've been watching the pair of you,
like at the car park,
564
00:29:09,007 --> 00:29:11,246
on the junction with the A1,
at the York Road?
565
00:29:11,247 --> 00:29:12,886
Oh, yeah?
566
00:29:12,887 --> 00:29:15,686
Well, you forget I know all about
body language,
567
00:29:15,687 --> 00:29:19,686
and I was watching the non-verbal
signs you were sending each other.
568
00:29:22,847 --> 00:29:25,326
He fucking adores you.
569
00:29:25,327 --> 00:29:27,366
How do you know?
570
00:29:27,367 --> 00:29:29,286
The signs.
571
00:29:29,287 --> 00:29:32,286
The way he looks at you
when you're not looking at him.
572
00:29:32,287 --> 00:29:35,526
The way he holds himself
when you're stood there.
573
00:29:35,527 --> 00:29:37,286
He's still trying to win you.
574
00:29:37,287 --> 00:29:39,726
Yeah, well, he could
fucking text me more often.
575
00:29:39,727 --> 00:29:41,966
The fucking mobile phone is
a feeder of anxiety.
576
00:29:41,967 --> 00:29:45,726
You don't need those kind
of signs. It's the non-verbal
stuff that matters.
577
00:29:45,727 --> 00:29:49,726
He's crazy about you.
578
00:29:50,487 --> 00:29:51,526
Thanks.
579
00:29:51,527 --> 00:29:54,486
Good.
580
00:29:54,487 --> 00:29:56,966
Panic over, yeah?
581
00:29:56,967 --> 00:30:00,966
For now. Yeah.
582
00:30:01,687 --> 00:30:03,566
He adores me, you reckon?
583
00:30:03,567 --> 00:30:07,566
Yeah, he does.
584
00:30:08,607 --> 00:30:11,006
So you let me know how
you get on with that test.
585
00:30:11,007 --> 00:30:12,806
Yeah, yeah, I will.
586
00:30:12,807 --> 00:30:14,966
Oh, um, and this is by the by,
587
00:30:14,967 --> 00:30:18,046
but how long will it take you
to pass admission onto the course?
588
00:30:18,047 --> 00:30:20,486
About two weeks. Why?
589
00:30:20,487 --> 00:30:24,486
Nothing.
590
00:30:35,607 --> 00:30:36,446
All right?
591
00:30:36,447 --> 00:30:37,886
Yeah, fuck.
592
00:30:37,887 --> 00:30:40,206
What I just administered there
won't last long.
593
00:30:40,207 --> 00:30:41,326
What do you mean?
594
00:30:41,327 --> 00:30:42,926
The fucking fireman.
595
00:30:42,927 --> 00:30:45,366
He could be about to wreck her life.
596
00:30:45,367 --> 00:30:47,406
And that's not jealousy or nothing.
597
00:30:47,407 --> 00:30:50,086
Ash, for once, take me at
fucking face value.
598
00:30:50,087 --> 00:30:51,726
All right, go on.
599
00:30:51,727 --> 00:30:54,566
I have to try and keep her going,
keep her believing
600
00:30:54,567 --> 00:30:57,006
that Craig likes her,
but really likes her.
601
00:30:57,007 --> 00:30:58,966
Or what?
602
00:30:58,967 --> 00:31:02,966
She's fucked.
603
00:31:03,007 --> 00:31:05,886
Come on, do the role-play.
604
00:31:05,887 --> 00:31:07,926
I need the practice.
605
00:31:07,927 --> 00:31:08,966
Ma'am, I feel...
606
00:31:08,967 --> 00:31:10,126
Ma'am?
607
00:31:10,127 --> 00:31:13,166
You know, that's what you get called
when you're a DI.
608
00:31:13,167 --> 00:31:14,086
Fuck.
609
00:31:14,087 --> 00:31:15,246
You never watched Prime Suspect?
610
00:31:15,247 --> 00:31:16,406
Go on.
611
00:31:16,407 --> 00:31:19,646
Ma'am, I feel I'm being
discriminated against in t'workplace.
612
00:31:19,647 --> 00:31:22,966
Er... I'm very sorry
to hear that, Constable.
613
00:31:22,967 --> 00:31:26,886
It's a matter I take very seriously.
On what grounds?
614
00:31:26,887 --> 00:31:27,846
My race, ma'am.
615
00:31:27,847 --> 00:31:29,726
I thought you were doing
the gay card.
616
00:31:29,727 --> 00:31:32,046
I could do both at the same time.
617
00:31:32,047 --> 00:31:34,846
Gain a few pounds, I'll throw
fat in the equation an' all.
618
00:31:34,847 --> 00:31:37,046
Well, I'm a female.
619
00:31:37,047 --> 00:31:38,206
And blonde.
620
00:31:38,207 --> 00:31:40,046
Do you reckon we're both tokens?
621
00:31:40,047 --> 00:31:44,046
Yeah, we should form a union.
622
00:31:49,847 --> 00:31:51,526
What's this?
623
00:31:51,527 --> 00:31:53,126
Rachid's still out with the FRU.
624
00:31:53,127 --> 00:31:55,886
Why are we taking the
trauma magnet out with us?
625
00:31:55,887 --> 00:31:59,886
It's all part of Operation Maxine.
626
00:32:02,967 --> 00:32:05,166
Fuck it.
627
00:32:05,167 --> 00:32:06,726
Is Ryan preying on your mind?
628
00:32:06,727 --> 00:32:08,286
No, not even slightly.
629
00:32:08,287 --> 00:32:10,886
You've been through 20 and we're
halfway through the shift.
630
00:32:10,887 --> 00:32:12,606
It was meant to be us watching you
631
00:32:12,607 --> 00:32:15,406
for signs of stress.
632
00:32:15,407 --> 00:32:18,006
'Woman, 83, fallen at home.'
633
00:32:18,007 --> 00:32:19,486
Nan down.
Any more?
634
00:32:19,487 --> 00:32:21,806
Front door heavily locked.
Fire crew in attendance.
635
00:32:21,807 --> 00:32:24,526
Carl, I love you.
636
00:32:24,527 --> 00:32:28,526
Operation Maxine is a go.
637
00:32:29,367 --> 00:32:33,366
SIREN
638
00:32:33,407 --> 00:32:34,926
Talk about insecure.
639
00:32:34,927 --> 00:32:35,326
Who?
640
00:32:35,327 --> 00:32:37,726
Woman. 83.
She's got every lock and bar
641
00:32:37,727 --> 00:32:41,046
behind that door known to man.
Good job her heart's not gone.
642
00:32:41,047 --> 00:32:42,406
Right.
643
00:32:42,407 --> 00:32:44,566
Did you want something?
644
00:32:44,567 --> 00:32:46,406
Maxine.
Come again?
645
00:32:46,407 --> 00:32:50,406
I just wanted to say that
I'm really pleased that she's happy.
646
00:32:50,687 --> 00:32:52,406
Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
647
00:32:52,407 --> 00:32:54,566
You and her go way back, yeah?
648
00:32:54,567 --> 00:32:55,886
She's dead nice.
649
00:32:55,887 --> 00:32:57,126
Yeah.
650
00:32:57,127 --> 00:32:58,766
I just don't know, you know?
651
00:32:58,767 --> 00:33:00,606
I think, um...
652
00:33:00,607 --> 00:33:03,806
I can't really see
it working out somehow.
653
00:33:03,807 --> 00:33:06,646
You've got to give it a chance.
Don't do anything hasty.
654
00:33:06,647 --> 00:33:09,766
Oh, no, I won't.
I'll give it a chance, but...
655
00:33:09,767 --> 00:33:11,726
Gaffer!
656
00:33:11,727 --> 00:33:13,326
It's not budging.
657
00:33:13,327 --> 00:33:15,886
Right.
Let's try a different approach.
658
00:33:15,887 --> 00:33:17,686
Nick, go and get a sledgehammer.
659
00:33:17,687 --> 00:33:19,606
MOBILE RINGS
660
00:33:19,607 --> 00:33:22,086
I'm going to take this.
661
00:33:22,087 --> 00:33:23,846
Hiya.
662
00:33:23,847 --> 00:33:25,726
How'd it go with the chief super?
663
00:33:25,727 --> 00:33:28,006
It was pretty close
to purgatory.
664
00:33:28,007 --> 00:33:30,926
But, er, you know?
665
00:33:30,927 --> 00:33:32,646
What happens next?
666
00:33:32,647 --> 00:33:36,006
I've got the big self test appraisal
thing on Friday.
667
00:33:36,007 --> 00:33:38,326
Which you will walk.
668
00:33:38,327 --> 00:33:40,006
Yeah.
Good.
669
00:33:40,007 --> 00:33:41,886
Good, that's more like it.
670
00:33:41,887 --> 00:33:44,046
You'll be a DI in no time.
671
00:33:44,047 --> 00:33:48,046
Oh, incidentally,
I just ran into your Craig just now.
672
00:33:49,287 --> 00:33:50,326
Oh, yeah?
673
00:33:50,327 --> 00:33:53,646
Yeah. Not very good
with the verbal clues, is he?
674
00:33:53,647 --> 00:33:55,086
You can say that again.
675
00:33:55,087 --> 00:33:57,406
Yeah, well, it's all there, though.
676
00:33:57,407 --> 00:34:00,166
What is?
677
00:34:00,167 --> 00:34:04,166
The whole butterflies in the stomach,
"can't live without you"
sort of thing.
678
00:34:04,247 --> 00:34:06,206
I know OCD sufferers when I see them.
679
00:34:06,207 --> 00:34:09,086
Are you just saying that?
680
00:34:09,087 --> 00:34:13,046
No. He's nervous.
You've made the big fireman nervous.
681
00:34:13,047 --> 00:34:14,686
Remember that when you see him.
682
00:34:14,687 --> 00:34:18,166
I will. All right, well,
er, I'll see you.
683
00:34:18,167 --> 00:34:22,166
See you, Maxine.
684
00:34:22,647 --> 00:34:23,646
Weird.
685
00:34:23,647 --> 00:34:25,006
What is?
686
00:34:25,007 --> 00:34:29,006
I have never seen you do something
so completely selfless before.
687
00:34:29,167 --> 00:34:30,206
I don't often get the opportunity.
688
00:34:30,207 --> 00:34:31,326
No.
689
00:34:31,327 --> 00:34:33,526
Not sure how selfless an act
it actually is.
690
00:34:33,527 --> 00:34:35,406
How do you mean?
691
00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:39,046
If he really isn't interested,
then you're expecting it to end.
692
00:34:39,047 --> 00:34:42,806
And when it does, she'll realise
what a white knight you've been,
693
00:34:42,807 --> 00:34:44,806
buoying her up
so she can pass the test.
694
00:34:44,807 --> 00:34:47,126
There may be some truth in that.
695
00:34:47,127 --> 00:34:47,846
Fair enough.
696
00:34:47,847 --> 00:34:49,406
Doesn't make me a bad person.
697
00:34:49,407 --> 00:34:50,926
No.
698
00:34:50,927 --> 00:34:53,846
Pretty much everything else
you do does, but not this.
699
00:34:53,847 --> 00:34:55,646
Can we stop to buy some fags?
700
00:34:55,647 --> 00:34:58,243
Oh, give your lungs a fucking break.
And call Ryan.
701
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,279
I thought we'd have a bottle
of Chablis.
702
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,719
What? Oh, sure.
703
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:30,639
That's wine, right?
704
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,199
Yeah. White wine.
705
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:36,159
Nice white wine.
Fucking pricey white wine!
706
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:37,859
(AWKWARD LAUGHTER)
707
00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:43,519
(SIGHS)
708
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:47,519
RADIO ON
709
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,199
That were gorgeous.
710
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:58,199
Aw, thanks.
711
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:03,599
Yeah. Like you.
712
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:08,879
Smooth talker!
713
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:16,039
So... Let's recap.
714
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,999
Last time we met, we'd just
got to the part where you were
715
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,719
enthusing about me and my...
716
00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:25,399
Oh, yeah, big black dick?
717
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,959
I think that was the ground
we were covering, weren't it?
718
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,599
Do you really think I'm gorgeous?
719
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:35,599
Yeah. Yeah, I do. I think
you're well fit. Dead attractive.
720
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:39,599
I always thought my sister
were the pretty one.
721
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:45,639
OK, basically,
I misread the signals.
722
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,639
Well, either I'm really crap at
sending signals, or you need glasses.
723
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,399
It was just stupid talk.
Fantasy stuff.
724
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:58,279
You know, I'm not being some
arsy queen, here.
725
00:36:58,280 --> 00:36:59,759
You really hurt my feelings.
726
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:03,199
You tapped into something
fairly important.
727
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,079
I get that now.
728
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,679
I would've got it then,
if I hadn't been so pished.
729
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,399
"Pished"?
730
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,959
Do you want to, erm... Do you want
to watch one of your films?
731
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:17,479
What, one of me arty films?
732
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:21,039
Oh, I don't know why I got into
them, it was "self-improvement",
733
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:25,039
you know. Honestly, you'd hate them.
Really!
734
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:29,399
I'm sorry. Really.
735
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,519
It's fine.
736
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,319
It's not going to happen, is it?
Me and you?
737
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,279
No.
738
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,719
Can we at least be mates,
then d'you think?
739
00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:43,719
Mates, then.
740
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:47,759
How about we go to the bedroom?
741
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,639
Yeah. Yeah, go on.
742
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,559
(WEBSITE)
'Cos I want to take my knickers down and receive
743
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:58,999
'some stern correction.'
744
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,999
TELEPHONE RINGS
745
00:38:04,720 --> 00:38:07,399
Are you sure he's keen?
746
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,879
Hello, Maxine. Where are you?
747
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,519
I'm in the loo.
I've got to keep it down.
748
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,119
'And he's in the...?'
749
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,039
He's in the bedroom, yeah.
750
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,639
Interesting role reversal
we've got going on here.
751
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:19,279
How d'you mean?
752
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:21,799
It don't matter.
753
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,799
Look, I'm trying and I'm just...
I'm just not getting anything.
754
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:30,639
Craig is the most tongue-tied
bloke I've ever met.
755
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:33,719
Yeah, we've established that.
756
00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:37,639
My guess is that...
757
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,079
He's worried that you're too
clever for him.
758
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,039
Yeah?
759
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,959
I mean, think about it.
You read. You make yourself watch
760
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,719
all those fucking films.
He's a simple man,
761
00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:51,719
it's going to be intimidating.
He's stressed out.
762
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:54,999
Is this what fucking love
does to you?
763
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,559
It's like somebody turned the light
on and all my insecurities
764
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,479
have come like crawling out
the dark.
765
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:04,479
Lucky you. So have his.
766
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:08,839
Yeah, OK. That works.
You're a genius.
767
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:10,039
'Of course.'
768
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,559
All right, I'd better get back
to him.
769
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:13,919
'Good luck tomorrow.'
770
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,719
All right. Night, Stuart.
771
00:39:15,720 --> 00:39:19,719
Night night, Maxine.
772
00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:38,719
Are you sure you have what it takes
to be a detective inspector?
773
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:43,559
I am, sir, yes. All my
appraisals have been excellent.
774
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,159
But those are the views
of external observers.
775
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:50,639
What do YOU think?
776
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:54,279
I have a lot of confidence
in who I am, sir.
777
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:58,279
And who exactly is that?
778
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,279
Well, that were marginally less
painful than root canal work!
779
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,599
So you thrashed it out with Ryan,
then just decided to be mates?
780
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:16,759
Yeah.
781
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,759
How revoltingly civilised.
782
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,319
I'm just following your example,
actually.
783
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,079
In what sense?
784
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:28,079
I'm quite kind of...
happy on my own.
785
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,039
Although...
Although what?
786
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,519
It's just that...
from an outsider's perspective,
787
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:35,999
we could be construed as a pair
of lonely losers?
788
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,519
Who is this outsider?
Bring him to me now.
789
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,879
I want to meet this nosy cunt!
790
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,199
Great. Um, yeah.
791
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:47,199
I'll... I'll go and check the
tyre pressure on the ambulance.
792
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,359
They just called.
793
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:56,359
Well?
So, I got on the course!
794
00:40:56,840 --> 00:41:00,279
Hey, look, I couldn't have done it
without your help. So...
795
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,479
Oh, that's... substantially true!
796
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,759
Do you want to go for a drink
after work?
797
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:05,919
Yeah. 'Course.
798
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,919
Got to go, so...
799
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:20,639
You do realise, this could be it?
Your chance. Tonight.
800
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:24,639
My chance to restore the status quo.
801
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:26,119
Back to being mates?
802
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:30,119
Exactly.
803
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:35,039
(LAUGHING)
804
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:44,959
Hiya.
805
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,519
Hey. What about this one, eh?
806
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:50,519
Indeed, indeed.
She's electrifying. Literally.
807
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:53,759
Detective Inspector.
Well, not yet.
808
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,359
Yeah, but you'll get there.
No problem.
809
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:57,239
What do you want?
810
00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:59,199
Orange and soda, please. Pint.
811
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:00,599
Sure? We're celebrating.
812
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:04,599
Yeah, thanks.
813
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,839
So, things going well?
814
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:12,479
Yeah, they are. To be honest, it
was a bit shaky for a while, but...
815
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,759
It's insecurities, you know?
816
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:15,319
Hers?
817
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,959
No, mine. The thing is,
she's dead clever.
818
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:19,919
Oh, fuck.
819
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:22,039
What?
Nothing.
820
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,279
Proper intellectual.
821
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:24,759
Books, foreign films...
822
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:26,159
Yeah, all that stuff.
823
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,359
I felt she was only after me
for sex, but...
824
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,399
Well, this is how clever she is,
she worked me out.
825
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,959
Sat me down
and talked me through it.
826
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:35,399
I'm really pleased.
827
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,439
Yeah. And she's not
after an Einstein, either.
828
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:42,239
Apparently. Which is good.
So, yeah it's fine.
829
00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:43,519
Great.
830
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:46,119
It's weird.
I can't stop thinking about her.
831
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,999
I can't get her out of my head,
you know?
832
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,679
Yeah. I do.
833
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,119
Love, eh?
834
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:56,439
Yeah.
835
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,519
Serotonin, actually.
836
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,039
What?
837
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,639
Serotonin. It's a neural messenger
in the brain.
838
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:05,439
I failed biology at school.
839
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:08,919
Sometimes I wish I'd failed it, too.
840
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,919
There you go.
841
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:18,319
Gosh, this is nice.
842
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:19,679
Happy days.
843
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:20,799
Yeah.
844
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:21,919
To Maxine.
845
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:23,359
Indeed.
846
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,039
Cheers!
847
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:26,679
Mmm, so...
848
00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:30,679
Oh, well. Sorry, I've got to go.
849
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,959
Oh, already?
850
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,759
Yeah, I promised Ash.
He's a bit down in the dumps.
851
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,879
Ah... Ryan?
852
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,879
Yeah, he's offended him somehow.
So, better go and cheer him up.
853
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,559
Quite the hero, aren't you?
854
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:51,559
Yes, that's me.
855
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,279
You got my message, then?
856
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:58,919
Back to being mates with Maxine.
857
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,919
Exactly as anticipated.
"Yay" for friendship.
858
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,199
Have you got one of those
left?
859
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,559
You don't smoke.
860
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:10,559
Thinking about taking it up,
actually. Lungs are overrated organs.
861
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,719
So...
862
00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:19,599
What do you want to do?
863
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,759
We could sit over a coffee,
rake over what happened,
864
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,759
assess where we went wrong.
Learn from our mistakes.
865
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,959
Or, go into total denial and get
completely, rat-arsed drunk.
866
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,919
Exactly. Mistakes? What mistakes?
I don't make mistakes.
867
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:37,319
You get the first round in.
868
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:40,239
No, you get the first round in.
I got the last round in,
869
00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:41,159
it's your turn.
870
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:43,479
All this fucking free
therapy I'm giving you,
871
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:45,439
least you can do is buy me
a drink...
872
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,039
And where's Rachid, by the way?
873
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:52,039
I don't know.
Let's go and find that lazy bastard.
874
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:05,879
I'm looking for Stuart?
That's me.
875
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:09,119
Well, your father died
two weeks ago.
876
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:10,839
How do you feel?
877
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,119
That's the funny thing,
Don't know how I feel.
878
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,999
All right, mate?
Hi.
879
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:16,919
You don't think he's just
homeless?
880
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:18,919
He doesn't smell homeless.
881
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:20,199
I want a permanent place here.
882
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:21,039
What're you doing?
883
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:22,519
Working.
884
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,159
Hey! You should be in number
four with Fat Carl.
885
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:28,319
This is Stuart. Your brother.
886
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:29,759
Well, fuck a duck.
887
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:31,399
You're genuinely upset?
888
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:35,399
My dad's dead. Our dad's dead.
Does that mean anything to you?
889
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:36,639
No.
890
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:38,559
I'm not fucking vulnerable.
891
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:39,519
No. 'Course not!
892
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,199
I mean he must have...
misread the signals.
893
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:43,199
Happy birthday!
894
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:44,839
Aw, thank you!
895
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:45,999
You like her.
896
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,559
She's with someone.
897
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:50,346
She's with a man doing a good
impersonation of a bell end.
898
00:45:53,364 --> 00:45:56,564
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MemoryOnSmells for www.addic7ed.com
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