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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,161
It's gonna drag you back in.
2
00:00:01,161 --> 00:00:02,432
What's he doing here, man?
3
00:00:02,432 --> 00:00:04,116
You don't just escape
this life, brother.
4
00:00:04,952 --> 00:00:05,785
Cal, what you doing?
5
00:00:05,785 --> 00:00:06,846
What are you doing, Cal?
6
00:00:06,846 --> 00:00:08,507
Telling random girls
you've got 30K worth
7
00:00:08,507 --> 00:00:09,818
of coke in your car.
8
00:00:09,818 --> 00:00:11,272
It's my car now, blood.
9
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,624
You two set me up, man.
10
00:00:12,624 --> 00:00:13,714
You're a dead, man!
11
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:14,711
And you, bro.
12
00:00:14,711 --> 00:00:16,035
Azaar, I didn't have
nothing to do with this.
13
00:00:16,035 --> 00:00:18,160
- No, you're a liar.
- Mobeen...
14
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,691
Cuz!
15
00:00:19,691 --> 00:00:21,145
Mobeen, shall I shoot him?
16
00:00:21,145 --> 00:00:22,015
Give me the strap.
17
00:00:22,015 --> 00:00:23,265
Go, go, go, go.
18
00:00:52,448 --> 00:00:53,996
It's staring at me.
19
00:00:53,996 --> 00:00:56,134
Trust me, if they bite you, you get Ebola.
20
00:00:56,134 --> 00:00:57,578
What you on about?
21
00:00:57,578 --> 00:01:00,293
It's a dog, not a wild
Congolese bat, Eight, yeah?
22
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,949
And anyway, what are you panicking for?
23
00:01:01,949 --> 00:01:03,168
These things are friendly, look.
24
00:01:03,168 --> 00:01:04,297
Hello, baby boy.
25
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,919
This is not how you turn 16.
26
00:01:08,919 --> 00:01:10,787
How do you wanna celebrate
your 16th birthday?
27
00:01:10,787 --> 00:01:11,620
Go on.
28
00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:14,230
A good birthday is being
at a Tekashi69 concert,
29
00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:17,322
mosh pitting to "Billy,"
whilst screaming "Scum Gang."
30
00:01:17,322 --> 00:01:18,830
Who's the 6in9ine Tekashi now?
31
00:01:18,830 --> 00:01:20,295
Mate I have no idea.
32
00:01:20,295 --> 00:01:22,752
But, what happened to the
good old days of hip hop, innit?
33
00:01:22,752 --> 00:01:24,581
Fiddy and Tupac.
34
00:01:24,581 --> 00:01:26,510
♪ Only God can judge me now ♪
35
00:01:26,510 --> 00:01:27,343
Yeah.
36
00:01:27,343 --> 00:01:28,722
But why did he turn into Barry White
37
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:29,997
on certain words and that?
38
00:01:29,997 --> 00:01:31,328
Family.
39
00:01:31,328 --> 00:01:32,994
Enemies.
- Enemies.
40
00:01:34,217 --> 00:01:36,116
I guess we're stuck
here 'cause we're broke.
41
00:01:36,116 --> 00:01:37,643
Listen, listen, we're not broke, yeah?
42
00:01:37,643 --> 00:01:39,299
This is one of the premier places to be
43
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,913
in Brum on a Friday night.
44
00:01:41,913 --> 00:01:42,746
Oh, wow.
45
00:01:46,004 --> 00:01:47,402
Living the dream.
46
00:01:47,402 --> 00:01:48,319
Yay for me.
47
00:01:49,953 --> 00:01:52,678
Been queuing up for ages, man.
48
00:01:52,678 --> 00:01:54,878
You hate queuing up.
49
00:01:54,878 --> 00:01:56,696
Something ain't adding up.
50
00:01:56,696 --> 00:01:58,087
Well, everything adds up.
51
00:01:58,087 --> 00:01:59,231
Everything adds up.
52
00:01:59,231 --> 00:02:00,218
Is she here?
53
00:02:00,218 --> 00:02:01,051
Huh?
54
00:02:01,051 --> 00:02:01,884
Who's she?
55
00:02:01,884 --> 00:02:02,717
I don't know who she is.
56
00:02:02,717 --> 00:02:04,501
You know who
she is, that Welsh hoe.
57
00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:06,155
Don't call her that.
58
00:02:06,155 --> 00:02:07,337
Oh, I'm sorry.
59
00:02:07,337 --> 00:02:09,619
Did I offend you and you're hoe-ass hoe?
60
00:02:11,079 --> 00:02:12,835
Move.
61
00:02:12,835 --> 00:02:14,006
Beg your pardon.
62
00:02:14,006 --> 00:02:15,393
Vernon was keeping
our place in the queue.
63
00:02:15,393 --> 00:02:16,960
Now we're back, so move.
64
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,460
Who's Vernon now?
65
00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:19,360
My dog.
66
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:23,248
Your dog was keeping
your place in a queue?
67
00:02:23,248 --> 00:02:25,098
I don't think dogs can legally do that.
68
00:02:25,098 --> 00:02:26,348
You're being very stupid.
69
00:02:26,348 --> 00:02:27,439
Sorry, I'm being stupid?
70
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,348
Just get the fuck out
of our way, gob-shite.
71
00:02:29,348 --> 00:02:32,385
♪ Happy birthday to me ♪
72
00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,583
Would you please mind having
a word with your lovely lady,
73
00:02:34,583 --> 00:02:35,885
if that's all right?
74
00:02:35,885 --> 00:02:38,959
Lisa is a strong and independent woman.
75
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,272
I would never try to control her.
76
00:02:41,272 --> 00:02:42,547
You're scared of her, aren't you?
77
00:02:42,547 --> 00:02:43,630
- Yeah.
- Oi!
78
00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:45,655
Listen, yeah?
79
00:02:45,655 --> 00:02:47,755
This is the real world,
not a fantasy island
80
00:02:47,755 --> 00:02:50,605
where Vernon the Alsatian has
a national insurance number,
81
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,455
works night shifts at Costco,
82
00:02:52,455 --> 00:02:54,369
and keeps places in queues.
83
00:02:54,369 --> 00:02:56,042
So, nah, we ain't going nowhere, tell her.
84
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,083
Leave now.
85
00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:58,305
What you gonna do?
86
00:02:58,305 --> 00:02:59,730
Call the queue police, yeah?
87
00:02:59,730 --> 00:03:01,647
You lot make me sick.
88
00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:07,703
It's too much.
89
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:11,166
Yeah...
90
00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:13,795
Could you go away?
91
00:03:13,795 --> 00:03:15,238
What, you want me to go?
92
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:16,920
- You should.
- Actually, yeah.
93
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:17,753
Huh?
94
00:03:17,753 --> 00:03:18,848
Go.
95
00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:21,073
Yeah, that's what I thought.
96
00:03:21,073 --> 00:03:22,031
She's nice.
97
00:03:22,031 --> 00:03:23,534
I ain't scared...
98
00:03:23,534 --> 00:03:24,580
I ain't scared of no...
99
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,780
I ain't scared of nobody, innit?
100
00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:28,081
You better take your dog, Lisa, and go.
101
00:03:28,081 --> 00:03:30,090
Yeah, get me.
102
00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,917
Attack, Vernon.
103
00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:32,750
No!
104
00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:42,123
Allah!
105
00:03:50,988 --> 00:03:53,571
He knocked out Vernon.
106
00:03:55,112 --> 00:03:56,237
Whoa.
107
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,387
I'm calling the police.
108
00:03:57,387 --> 00:03:58,317
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
109
00:03:58,317 --> 00:04:00,237
Look, there's about 15
different phones, yeah,
110
00:04:00,237 --> 00:04:02,572
that recorded you telling
your dog to attack us,
111
00:04:02,572 --> 00:04:04,744
so if you don't wanna go to
jail for a very long time,
112
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,471
you should probably
take Vernon and do one.
113
00:04:07,471 --> 00:04:09,323
Yeah, do one.
114
00:04:09,323 --> 00:04:11,564
This just really upset me.
115
00:04:12,798 --> 00:04:14,170
Is he all right, though?
116
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,905
Yeah, I'm fine.
117
00:04:19,691 --> 00:04:21,808
Get up, Vernon.
118
00:04:21,808 --> 00:04:23,308
You lot are weird.
119
00:04:26,153 --> 00:04:27,570
Happy birthday.
120
00:04:32,177 --> 00:04:34,266
Crazy golf's shit anyway.
121
00:04:46,054 --> 00:04:46,887
Mobeena.
122
00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:49,298
That was going in.
123
00:04:49,298 --> 00:04:52,391
That was the best thing
I've ever seen in my life.
124
00:04:52,391 --> 00:04:53,589
No, it wasn't, man.
125
00:04:53,589 --> 00:04:55,491
I feel like one of the
bad guys out of John Wick.
126
00:04:55,491 --> 00:04:56,480
Yeah, you are.
127
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,908
Why you so happy about that?
128
00:04:58,908 --> 00:05:00,836
Hello, Aqsa.
129
00:05:00,836 --> 00:05:02,010
Hi, guys.
130
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,245
Oh, hey, Miss Aitken.
131
00:05:03,245 --> 00:05:04,395
You all right?
132
00:05:04,395 --> 00:05:05,952
What have you been up to?
133
00:05:05,952 --> 00:05:08,165
Golf with you lot
and one of my teachers.
134
00:05:08,165 --> 00:05:09,402
Brilliant birthday.
135
00:05:09,402 --> 00:05:11,095
Much better than the
birthdays I had growing up.
136
00:05:11,095 --> 00:05:11,928
Yeah.
137
00:05:11,928 --> 00:05:13,735
Maybe we see if the
headmaster wants to come, too?
138
00:05:13,735 --> 00:05:15,235
Excuse me, young lady.
139
00:05:15,235 --> 00:05:16,422
What's got into you?
140
00:05:16,422 --> 00:05:17,780
I'm gonna go and get
a massive sugar rush
141
00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:19,280
off a slush puppy.
142
00:05:20,913 --> 00:05:22,487
Speaking of puppies, yeah.
143
00:05:22,487 --> 00:05:23,763
Do you know Mobeen-
144
00:05:23,763 --> 00:05:25,063
Ah, I love little dogs.
145
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:25,896
Tiny ones.
146
00:05:25,896 --> 00:05:28,977
Yeah, he would never
punch a puppy in the face.
147
00:05:28,977 --> 00:05:31,981
Anyway, how about we
get some competition
148
00:05:31,981 --> 00:05:33,338
flowing up in here?
149
00:05:33,338 --> 00:05:35,539
Playing pairs and that,
a little two-on-two?
150
00:05:35,539 --> 00:05:36,524
Probably not.
151
00:05:36,524 --> 00:05:38,024
Miss Aitken, yeah?
152
00:05:38,894 --> 00:05:39,727
Great.
153
00:05:45,477 --> 00:05:47,477
Get your own golf bat!
154
00:05:51,502 --> 00:05:53,002
Within a couple of weeks
155
00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:54,964
I'll be Aqsa's official legal guardian,
156
00:05:54,964 --> 00:05:56,902
because I'm smooth like that.
157
00:05:56,902 --> 00:05:58,413
Oh, my God.
158
00:05:58,413 --> 00:05:59,246
Yeah, I know.
159
00:05:59,246 --> 00:06:00,137
It's crazy, innit?
160
00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:01,528
It is crazy.
161
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,779
That a legal professional's
gonna make you her guardian.
162
00:06:04,779 --> 00:06:07,916
She adores you, she
just might not tell you.
163
00:06:07,916 --> 00:06:09,083
I can see why.
164
00:06:11,878 --> 00:06:12,711
Yeah.
165
00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,314
Listen, I'm a real G out here,
166
00:06:15,314 --> 00:06:16,914
so I can't be doing that romance stuff,
167
00:06:16,914 --> 00:06:18,102
you know what I mean?
168
00:06:18,102 --> 00:06:18,935
You?
169
00:06:18,935 --> 00:06:20,399
You're about as gangster
as the guy from Eton
170
00:06:20,399 --> 00:06:21,799
who owns this place.
171
00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:25,097
Culture-appropriating bastard.
172
00:06:25,097 --> 00:06:26,159
Oh!
173
00:06:26,159 --> 00:06:26,992
Hey!
174
00:06:28,691 --> 00:06:30,141
So listen, Miss.
175
00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:32,094
What do you say, me and you tomorrow,
176
00:06:32,094 --> 00:06:34,539
another round of cultural appropriation?
177
00:06:34,539 --> 00:06:35,497
Hmm, no?
178
00:06:35,497 --> 00:06:36,330
No.
179
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:37,163
No, okay.
180
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,311
Yeah, that's fine.
181
00:06:38,311 --> 00:06:39,863
Go for a coffee though.
182
00:06:39,863 --> 00:06:40,847
Yeah?
183
00:06:40,847 --> 00:06:43,035
What about that fancy
coffee shop across the road?
184
00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:44,776
The one where all the wankers go?
185
00:06:44,776 --> 00:06:46,560
All the wankers go there, yeah.
186
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,643
Deal.
187
00:06:47,643 --> 00:06:48,476
Yo, listen.
188
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,896
If we're gonna shake on this,
189
00:06:49,896 --> 00:06:51,509
then we trade a family handshake, yeah?
190
00:06:51,509 --> 00:06:53,248
It's legally binding, so
just be aware of that.
191
00:06:53,248 --> 00:06:56,948
Bring your hand in, close it, burns,
192
00:06:56,948 --> 00:06:58,690
and a little finger wiggle a lot.
193
00:06:58,690 --> 00:06:59,523
Huh?
194
00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,378
Mobeena!
195
00:07:01,378 --> 00:07:03,153
What are you doing, you kuta?
196
00:07:03,153 --> 00:07:05,740
You take that handshake back
this instant, Mobeen Deen.
197
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:08,563
Allah can see what
you're doing, you tramp.
198
00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:09,396
Yeah.
199
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,058
Mosque committee is proper
strict about this stuff so...
200
00:07:11,058 --> 00:07:12,474
- Sure.
- I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?
201
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,691
- See you.
- Cool.
202
00:07:13,691 --> 00:07:16,119
What you shouting for, huh?
203
00:07:16,119 --> 00:07:17,835
You're a kuta.
204
00:07:17,835 --> 00:07:18,942
Hey, Nate, hey.
205
00:07:18,942 --> 00:07:19,775
Mobeena.
206
00:07:19,775 --> 00:07:21,592
Can't even spell loyalty.
207
00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:23,119
Can you?
208
00:07:23,119 --> 00:07:24,194
L...
209
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,782
No.
210
00:07:25,782 --> 00:07:26,615
Listen.
211
00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:27,673
Hey, hey, yo, yo, hey.
212
00:07:27,673 --> 00:07:28,506
What's wrong?
213
00:07:28,506 --> 00:07:29,448
I'm not good enough for you.
214
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:30,406
- Sorry?
- Um, guys.
215
00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:32,444
Maybe I should speak
in a Welsh accent, boyo.
216
00:07:32,444 --> 00:07:33,277
Sorry?
217
00:07:33,277 --> 00:07:35,619
Maybe we should do a
special handshake, boyo.
218
00:07:35,619 --> 00:07:37,242
Okay, yeah, let's do
the family handshake
219
00:07:37,242 --> 00:07:38,107
if that stops this.
220
00:07:38,107 --> 00:07:38,940
Come on.
221
00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:39,773
Oh, shut up.
222
00:07:39,773 --> 00:07:40,886
Have a look at this.
223
00:07:40,886 --> 00:07:43,036
Mobeen punching Vernon's gone viral.
224
00:07:43,036 --> 00:07:43,869
Huh?
225
00:07:45,886 --> 00:07:47,061
Vernon!
226
00:07:47,061 --> 00:07:47,978
Oh, yeah!
227
00:07:49,025 --> 00:07:51,387
That is really, really,
really not very good.
228
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,750
Do you know what this means?
229
00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:54,479
Yeah, I'm going jail for canine GBH.
230
00:07:54,479 --> 00:07:55,387
That's what it means.
231
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,212
Nah, we're gonna be famous.
232
00:07:57,212 --> 00:07:58,045
Yes!
233
00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,023
Oh, my days.
234
00:07:59,023 --> 00:08:00,498
What are you gonna do with all the money?
235
00:08:00,498 --> 00:08:02,386
Being a viral superstar,
I could take my pick.
236
00:08:02,386 --> 00:08:04,974
You should get a
Rolls-Royce Phantom on 44's.
237
00:08:04,974 --> 00:08:06,400
I want to get a trampoline, yeah,
238
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,950
but it's in the ground, innit,
239
00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:10,875
'cause the other one I get
scared that I'll fall off.
240
00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:13,208
But it's made of gold, so...
241
00:08:16,088 --> 00:08:19,038
Trigger, Rodney, Boyce,
you're on a Facebook page
242
00:08:19,038 --> 00:08:20,556
with 8,000 followers, yeah.
243
00:08:20,556 --> 00:08:22,063
You're not in the next Avengers.
244
00:08:22,063 --> 00:08:23,151
Not yet, we're not.
245
00:08:23,151 --> 00:08:24,825
All it took was a bit
of hypothetical money
246
00:08:24,825 --> 00:08:27,008
for you lot to lose your minds out here.
247
00:08:27,008 --> 00:08:28,628
Listen, when I had all that money,
248
00:08:28,628 --> 00:08:30,114
didn't I hold it down for you lot?
249
00:08:30,114 --> 00:08:31,370
Wish you still had that money.
250
00:08:31,370 --> 00:08:32,305
No, you don't.
251
00:08:32,305 --> 00:08:33,138
Haram money.
252
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:33,971
Try me.
253
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,480
Mobes is right, we don't need the money.
254
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,705
We've got each other.
255
00:08:36,705 --> 00:08:38,442
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
256
00:08:38,442 --> 00:08:40,775
And we're Facebook famous.
257
00:08:42,206 --> 00:08:43,253
Give me that video.
258
00:08:43,253 --> 00:08:45,767
Let me see that clip.
259
00:08:46,955 --> 00:08:48,067
Vernon!
260
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:49,555
Look at this poor dog.
261
00:08:49,555 --> 00:08:50,847
How do I get this taken down?
262
00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:51,680
Poor dog?
263
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:52,805
It was going to kill me.
264
00:08:52,805 --> 00:08:54,055
Why do you want it taken down?
265
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:54,905
It's wicked.
266
00:08:54,905 --> 00:08:57,505
Because, lala, stupid
people will see that
267
00:08:57,505 --> 00:08:59,680
on the internet and copycat it.
268
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:02,180
I think he mean copy-dog it.
269
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:06,568
It's had another 200 views
since we've been stood here.
270
00:09:06,568 --> 00:09:09,430
♪ My left stroke just went viral ♪
271
00:09:09,430 --> 00:09:10,660
♪ It's viral ♪
272
00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:11,869
Stop.
273
00:09:11,869 --> 00:09:13,604
No, no, no, yeah.
274
00:09:13,604 --> 00:09:16,929
Listen, the internet is a fake
and dangerous place, yeah?
275
00:09:16,929 --> 00:09:18,223
Back to the real world, please.
276
00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,186
Let's go home.
277
00:09:19,186 --> 00:09:20,019
Home, let's go.
278
00:09:20,019 --> 00:09:20,852
Come on.
279
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,100
I'm gonna get this shit taken down.
280
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,951
Hate it when he does his dad voice.
281
00:09:23,951 --> 00:09:25,829
Shall we watch it again?
282
00:09:25,829 --> 00:09:27,276
Yeah.
283
00:09:28,451 --> 00:09:30,009
Oh!
284
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,245
I really need your help, Uncle Shady.
285
00:10:07,245 --> 00:10:10,495
You and your tits had better come in.
286
00:10:14,383 --> 00:10:15,383
Thank you.
287
00:10:18,411 --> 00:10:21,459
Don't you try to
break my fucking door again.
288
00:10:21,459 --> 00:10:22,292
I didn't.
289
00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:23,125
I'm sorry.
290
00:10:23,125 --> 00:10:24,958
Virgin muni.
291
00:10:26,745 --> 00:10:28,120
So, what do you reckon?
292
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,895
Can you get rid of this
video for me, Uncle Shady?
293
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:30,935
Like forever.
294
00:10:30,935 --> 00:10:32,008
Definitely.
295
00:10:32,008 --> 00:10:33,045
Oh, thank you.
296
00:10:33,045 --> 00:10:34,383
Vernon!
297
00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:41,622
Vernon!
298
00:10:45,059 --> 00:10:46,723
Vernon!
299
00:10:51,411 --> 00:10:53,911
Can you get rid of it now then?
300
00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:57,734
Don't rush me, bastard.
301
00:10:57,734 --> 00:10:59,349
It's such a good video.
302
00:10:59,349 --> 00:11:03,932
This is the best thing you
ever done in your shit life.
303
00:11:14,364 --> 00:11:15,364
Tickle here.
304
00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:17,813
Tickle there.
305
00:11:18,805 --> 00:11:20,305
Tickle everywhere.
306
00:11:21,892 --> 00:11:23,192
It's done.
307
00:11:23,192 --> 00:11:24,025
Oh!
308
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,492
Thank you so much, Uncle Shady.
309
00:11:27,492 --> 00:11:28,905
You're welcome, bastard.
310
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,709
Oh, thank you.
311
00:11:30,709 --> 00:11:32,580
Have you seen this version?
312
00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:33,777
What version?
313
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,392
This one.
314
00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:37,917
Vernon!
315
00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:40,642
Someone's put an ISIS
flag in that video.
316
00:11:40,642 --> 00:11:44,180
And the caption says
"Death to infidels."
317
00:11:45,877 --> 00:11:49,317
What kind of sicko
makes a video like that?
318
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:50,409
Me.
319
00:11:53,286 --> 00:11:55,686
Can you get rid of that
version as well then, please?
320
00:11:55,686 --> 00:11:58,769
I will give this a few more moment.
321
00:12:00,151 --> 00:12:02,901
You've punched a dog in the face.
322
00:12:04,861 --> 00:12:06,445
Wait until Lydia sees this.
323
00:12:06,445 --> 00:12:08,985
She will definitely going
to have sex with me.
324
00:12:08,985 --> 00:12:09,818
No.
325
00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:13,510
Have you got any Johnnys?
326
00:12:17,162 --> 00:12:18,495
Vernon!
327
00:12:45,216 --> 00:12:46,049
Yo.
328
00:12:51,017 --> 00:12:52,227
Yo, listen.
329
00:12:52,227 --> 00:12:54,767
Confirmation on a full
wankery vibe in here.
330
00:12:54,767 --> 00:12:55,847
Flippin' heck!
331
00:12:55,847 --> 00:12:57,084
I don't think you're in a position
332
00:12:57,084 --> 00:12:58,811
to be judging anyone, Mobeen.
333
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,654
I can say without a doubt
that this is unsettling, yeah.
334
00:13:01,654 --> 00:13:02,669
Sorry.
335
00:13:02,669 --> 00:13:04,989
Going viral for punching a dog in the head
336
00:13:04,989 --> 00:13:06,499
is not unsettling for you?
337
00:13:06,499 --> 00:13:07,332
Oh, shit.
338
00:13:07,332 --> 00:13:08,739
It's probably what the dog thought
339
00:13:08,739 --> 00:13:11,505
when it saw your fist
heading towards its cranium.
340
00:13:11,505 --> 00:13:14,249
Listen, I feel terrible about
what happened to that dog,
341
00:13:14,249 --> 00:13:16,591
but it was gonna eat my little sister.
342
00:13:16,591 --> 00:13:17,776
Oh, come on.
343
00:13:17,776 --> 00:13:18,713
What?
344
00:13:18,713 --> 00:13:21,254
Listen, if Vernon the Alsatian
was gonna take a chunk
345
00:13:21,254 --> 00:13:22,784
out of your nan's hip replacement,
346
00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:24,656
you'd just let him get his
pedigree chum on, yeah?
347
00:13:24,656 --> 00:13:26,082
Obviously not.
348
00:13:26,082 --> 00:13:28,769
Plus my nan's dead, so.
349
00:13:28,769 --> 00:13:30,769
Wasn't Vernon, was it?
350
00:13:32,441 --> 00:13:34,012
Shut up, you idiot.
351
00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:37,156
No, listen, man, that clip
is completely out of context.
352
00:13:37,156 --> 00:13:38,497
If you want the truth of what happened,
353
00:13:38,497 --> 00:13:40,248
come to me, I'll tell you.
354
00:13:40,248 --> 00:13:43,459
And what about the
comments, are those the truth?
355
00:13:43,459 --> 00:13:44,761
What comments?
356
00:13:44,761 --> 00:13:46,900
Sha-wa g'won, G.
357
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,067
Who are you?
358
00:13:49,259 --> 00:13:51,017
MC Bromsgrove.
359
00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:52,350
MC Bromsgrove?
360
00:13:53,661 --> 00:13:55,582
Bromsgrove, as in the area of Birmingham
361
00:13:55,582 --> 00:13:57,477
with the most elderly care homes, yeah?
362
00:13:57,477 --> 00:14:00,677
Listen, man, it's hard
out there, you know.
363
00:14:00,677 --> 00:14:02,718
I'm sure it's hard for these OAP's.
364
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:04,904
There's real gangster shit
out there in Bromsgrove, yeah.
365
00:14:04,904 --> 00:14:06,961
But if you don't mind,
we're having a moment here,
366
00:14:06,961 --> 00:14:08,372
so can you just...
367
00:14:08,372 --> 00:14:09,205
Oh!
368
00:14:09,205 --> 00:14:10,368
Oh, yeah, you're with
shortly and that, yeah.
369
00:14:10,368 --> 00:14:11,355
I see you.
370
00:14:11,355 --> 00:14:12,188
Nice.
371
00:14:13,465 --> 00:14:14,298
Yo!
372
00:14:14,298 --> 00:14:17,125
I just wanted to give you
my new "Grimy-P," innit.
373
00:14:17,125 --> 00:14:18,083
Why?
374
00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:19,957
Well, you're a hard
hitter out here, yeah.
375
00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:23,682
Everyone knows that this week, woof, yeah?
376
00:14:23,682 --> 00:14:26,702
Big man, I don't punch dogs
in the head for fun, yeah?
377
00:14:26,702 --> 00:14:28,644
And what's the correlation between that
378
00:14:28,644 --> 00:14:30,717
and you giving me a "Grimy-P," anyway?
379
00:14:30,717 --> 00:14:32,432
Well, I just thought you could share it
380
00:14:32,432 --> 00:14:34,712
with all the other OG's
down in the hood, yeah.
381
00:14:34,712 --> 00:14:35,908
Okay, yeah.
382
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:38,537
We'll listen to it whilst
we egg and flour the RSPCA.
383
00:14:38,537 --> 00:14:40,120
See you then, yeah?
384
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,831
That's what the Internet does to people.
385
00:14:43,831 --> 00:14:45,899
Listen, Mobeen, it's not
the ridiculous comments.
386
00:14:45,899 --> 00:14:47,132
It's the ones that say,
387
00:14:47,132 --> 00:14:48,865
"Someone better take this clip down
388
00:14:48,865 --> 00:14:50,938
because Mobeen will
shoot you in the face."
389
00:14:50,938 --> 00:14:52,838
And what about half the
kids in my school saying,
390
00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:54,346
"Mobeen's going to have to stop selling
391
00:14:54,346 --> 00:14:56,049
all the drugs in Small
Heath when he gets viral"?
392
00:14:56,049 --> 00:14:56,882
Yeah, but-
393
00:14:56,882 --> 00:14:58,420
Oh, yeah, and this one.
394
00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,276
"Mobeen spent time in prison already.
395
00:15:00,276 --> 00:15:03,073
He better get ready for another stretch."
396
00:15:03,073 --> 00:15:04,951
So what, you believe all
the things that your kids
397
00:15:04,951 --> 00:15:06,481
write on the internet, yeah?
398
00:15:06,481 --> 00:15:08,532
No, but you're telling
me there's no truth
399
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:10,001
in this whatsoever?
400
00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:11,236
There a little bit of truth.
401
00:15:11,236 --> 00:15:12,234
Partially, a little bit.
402
00:15:12,234 --> 00:15:13,182
Partially?
403
00:15:13,182 --> 00:15:14,501
Yeah, what?
404
00:15:14,501 --> 00:15:15,349
Oh!
405
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,992
Mobeen, I am your sister's teacher.
406
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:20,129
I need to know what I'm
getting myself into here.
407
00:15:20,129 --> 00:15:21,532
Getting yourself into?
408
00:15:21,532 --> 00:15:22,613
I'm not a bear trap.
409
00:15:22,613 --> 00:15:24,298
You're not getting yourself into any...
410
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,385
Yo, my G, I just...
411
00:15:25,385 --> 00:15:26,218
I couldn't resist.
412
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:29,185
Please just let me spit,
like, 16 bars to you man.
413
00:15:29,185 --> 00:15:31,428
My guy, now is not the right time.
414
00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:36,428
We see this one from the
prospective of the dog, yeah?
415
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:39,092
Look, Mobeen, I'm not
saying you're a trap.
416
00:15:39,092 --> 00:15:40,961
♪ Time for the revenge on
the part of the hound ♪
417
00:15:40,961 --> 00:15:43,376
♪ I'm gonna bite more beats
so man can't get found ♪
418
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,426
♪ Or in the gat ♪
419
00:15:44,426 --> 00:15:46,151
♪ Don't be a cat, grat-at-at-at-at ♪
420
00:15:46,151 --> 00:15:47,220
I really like you.
421
00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:48,431
I just, I need to know.
422
00:15:48,431 --> 00:15:49,692
♪ RSPCA, do one ♪
423
00:15:49,692 --> 00:15:51,396
You sound like...
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom ♪
424
00:15:51,396 --> 00:15:52,987
♪ Nothing can save you bat-at-at-at-at ♪
425
00:15:52,987 --> 00:15:54,070
♪ Reload ♪
426
00:15:55,666 --> 00:15:56,567
Yo!
427
00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:57,817
Shut up, blood!
428
00:16:00,010 --> 00:16:00,843
I...
429
00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:05,780
I'm sorry for shouting.
430
00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:08,872
Listen, there's still plenty
you don't know about me, yeah.
431
00:16:08,872 --> 00:16:10,588
Who am I kidding, anyway?
432
00:16:10,588 --> 00:16:12,440
Someone like you doesn't end up
433
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:13,811
with someone like me, so...
434
00:16:13,811 --> 00:16:15,317
I'm sorry for wasting
your time, Miss Aitken.
435
00:16:15,317 --> 00:16:17,080
I'm not saying...
436
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,779
And, yo, Bromsgrove.
437
00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:20,420
Sorry for shouting, yeah.
438
00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:21,340
Yeah?
439
00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:24,117
You keep rhyming out here, all right?
440
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,306
The man's gonna make a whole new album
441
00:16:26,306 --> 00:16:28,145
right out of this moment, yeah.
442
00:16:28,145 --> 00:16:31,062
I'm sure you will, MC Bromsgrove.
443
00:16:34,449 --> 00:16:36,369
Now that he's gone, does
that mean you're single, yeah?
444
00:16:36,369 --> 00:16:37,214
Fuck off.
445
00:16:37,214 --> 00:16:38,831
Yeah, okay.
446
00:16:47,134 --> 00:16:48,585
Oh, that was sick!
447
00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:50,295
I didn't know you could throw like that.
448
00:16:50,295 --> 00:16:51,847
I could teach you how to do it.
449
00:16:51,847 --> 00:16:52,993
No, I'm wicked at Kerby.
450
00:16:52,993 --> 00:16:55,160
I'm the division champion.
451
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,741
Yeah, I've found them.
452
00:16:58,741 --> 00:17:01,302
I heard they're gonna put
Kerby in the Olympics in 2024.
453
00:17:01,302 --> 00:17:02,894
Where did you hear that from?
454
00:17:02,894 --> 00:17:04,167
It was on the internet, I think.
455
00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:05,705
You should play for Africa as well.
456
00:17:05,705 --> 00:17:06,672
Oh, wow.
457
00:17:06,672 --> 00:17:09,172
I'm gonna do it blindfolded.
458
00:17:14,891 --> 00:17:15,974
Eight, run.
459
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,189
Where have you been?
460
00:17:43,189 --> 00:17:44,590
Yo, listen, I've got
something to show you.
461
00:17:44,590 --> 00:17:45,452
Have a look at this.
462
00:17:45,452 --> 00:17:46,285
It's gone.
463
00:17:46,285 --> 00:17:48,399
The video has gone from everywhere.
464
00:17:48,399 --> 00:17:49,960
Yes, I know, I had it taken down.
465
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,922
How are we supposed to monetize it now?
466
00:17:51,922 --> 00:17:52,925
"Monetize"?
467
00:17:52,925 --> 00:17:53,758
Yeah.
468
00:17:53,758 --> 00:17:55,471
I was speaking to this guy
about selling merchandise.
469
00:17:55,471 --> 00:17:58,025
He had said he could get
you on "Loose Women."
470
00:17:58,025 --> 00:18:00,059
Have you lost your mind, kid?
471
00:18:00,059 --> 00:18:02,550
You always said you wanted
to meet Gloria Hunniford.
472
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:04,200
But not like this.
473
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,420
We could have played
this right and had money.
474
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,140
Lots of money.
475
00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:10,915
I'm sick of this.
476
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:12,677
I've had enough of the internet.
477
00:18:12,677 --> 00:18:14,204
I'm not three years old.
478
00:18:14,204 --> 00:18:15,489
I can reach it.
479
00:18:15,489 --> 00:18:17,084
Can you calm down,
you little psychopath.
480
00:18:17,084 --> 00:18:17,984
Sit down.
481
00:18:17,984 --> 00:18:19,171
No.
482
00:18:19,171 --> 00:18:21,136
Sit down, please.
483
00:18:21,136 --> 00:18:22,676
Thank you.
484
00:18:22,676 --> 00:18:23,509
Listen.
485
00:18:23,509 --> 00:18:26,356
What's with you and money,
money, money all the time?
486
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,830
Well, in case you haven't noticed,
487
00:18:27,830 --> 00:18:29,695
we haven't got any, have we?
488
00:18:29,695 --> 00:18:31,607
Have you got a roof over your head?
489
00:18:31,607 --> 00:18:32,455
Yes.
490
00:18:32,455 --> 00:18:33,896
Do we eat three meals a day?
491
00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:34,729
Yes.
492
00:18:34,729 --> 00:18:35,862
Do we have heating when it's cold?
493
00:18:35,862 --> 00:18:37,133
Well, you always tell me to turn it off.
494
00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:38,978
All right, don't answer me back.
495
00:18:38,978 --> 00:18:39,998
Listen, you're right.
496
00:18:39,998 --> 00:18:41,501
No, we haven't got loads of money.
497
00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:44,558
What I'm saying is we've got
a lot more than most, Aqsa,
498
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:45,836
so be grateful.
499
00:18:45,836 --> 00:18:48,442
Listen, as long as I've got you,
500
00:18:48,442 --> 00:18:50,431
I am more than happy with this life.
501
00:18:50,431 --> 00:18:51,713
Do you understand?
502
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,272
Just me and you?
503
00:18:53,272 --> 00:18:54,105
Not her?
504
00:18:55,591 --> 00:18:56,961
Just me and you.
505
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,036
Ah...
506
00:18:58,036 --> 00:18:59,466
And Eight and Nate as well.
507
00:18:59,466 --> 00:19:00,526
Obviously.
508
00:19:00,526 --> 00:19:03,256
I forgot I got one more
birthday present for you.
509
00:19:03,256 --> 00:19:04,473
I hope you like it.
510
00:19:04,473 --> 00:19:06,175
This better not be
another Groupon voucher
511
00:19:06,175 --> 00:19:08,338
for salsa dancing.
512
00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:14,635
So this means...
513
00:19:14,635 --> 00:19:16,983
Yeah, I'm your legal guardian.
514
00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:19,411
Come here.
515
00:19:19,411 --> 00:19:20,902
Come here, you.
516
00:19:20,902 --> 00:19:22,166
I love you, kid.
517
00:19:22,166 --> 00:19:24,197
How we gonna celebrate?
518
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,841
Let's get the heating on.
519
00:19:27,197 --> 00:19:29,097
Yo, Eight, man, come on.
520
00:19:29,097 --> 00:19:32,793
Hey, can you stop
banging the door, please?
521
00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:34,793
Hey, I'm at the door...
522
00:19:36,505 --> 00:19:37,991
Got a knife.
523
00:19:37,991 --> 00:19:38,824
Mother--
524
00:19:38,824 --> 00:19:39,907
Whoa.
525
00:19:42,399 --> 00:19:43,932
Speak, you little fag.
526
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:45,264
Tell him what Azaar said.
527
00:19:45,264 --> 00:19:48,681
Mobeen, he said next time it'll be Aks.
528
00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:53,143
See you around, Mobeen.
529
00:19:58,892 --> 00:20:01,142
See you around, sweetheart.
530
00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:09,572
Aqsa, don't.
531
00:20:09,572 --> 00:20:10,822
Don't come out.
532
00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:16,376
Mobes.
533
00:20:16,376 --> 00:20:17,527
Mobes, don't.
534
00:20:17,527 --> 00:20:18,360
Don't.
535
00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:59,277
They all come back in the end.
536
00:21:10,107 --> 00:21:13,707
Now go and take care of your business.
35253
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