Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:19,068 --> 00:00:20,000
Hey.
2
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,620
Oh, hey.
Hi.
3
00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:23,482
H--
4
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:26,517
Were you --
Were you watching me sleep?
5
00:00:26,517 --> 00:00:28,896
No, I was watching you
try to breathe.
6
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:31,689
I think you have
a -- a badly deviated septum.
7
00:00:31,689 --> 00:00:34,068
But it's a damn cute
deviated septum.
8
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,827
Aw, thank you.
9
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,482
I got you something.
10
00:00:37,482 --> 00:00:39,551
Okay.
11
00:00:39,551 --> 00:00:42,068
What is it?
12
00:00:42,068 --> 00:00:43,827
Open it.
13
00:00:43,827 --> 00:00:46,482
Wow.
14
00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:48,862
Ah, it's a --
it's a little yellow hat.
15
00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:50,482
Try it on.
16
00:00:50,482 --> 00:00:53,655
Oh, I-I'd love
to try it on.
17
00:00:53,655 --> 00:00:56,724
Ah.
18
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:59,034
I love this.
19
00:00:59,034 --> 00:01:00,000
Really?
20
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,655
Yes. Perfect.
21
00:01:02,655 --> 00:01:05,379
I mean,
do you think it fits?
22
00:01:05,379 --> 00:01:06,620
Definitely.
Does it feel loose?
23
00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:07,931
I don't know what it is.
24
00:01:07,931 --> 00:01:09,586
Well, you can always
put a bobby pin in
25
00:01:09,586 --> 00:01:12,896
to keep it in place,
like they do with the, um...
26
00:01:12,896 --> 00:01:14,448
Yarmulkes?
Yes.
27
00:01:14,448 --> 00:01:16,275
Wait.
28
00:01:16,275 --> 00:01:17,931
Why do you know
that word?
29
00:01:17,931 --> 00:01:19,448
I'm -- I'm Jewish.
30
00:01:22,034 --> 00:01:23,586
Okay.
31
00:01:23,586 --> 00:01:26,068
No. I'm --
I'm 100% Jewish.
32
00:01:26,068 --> 00:01:27,931
Well, you are funny.
33
00:01:27,931 --> 00:01:29,793
Well...
34
00:01:31,275 --> 00:01:33,758
♪ Four and three and two
and one -- one ♪
35
00:01:38,275 --> 00:01:40,379
Ilana: Mommy!
36
00:01:40,379 --> 00:01:42,310
My Genes&Me
results came!
37
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,241
Okay, I am...
38
00:01:44,241 --> 00:01:46,793
100% Ashkenazi Jew.
39
00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:48,241
Yeah, no shit.
Ever seen a mirror?
40
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:51,827
Wow. Okay.
We have history of anxiety.
41
00:01:51,827 --> 00:01:53,586
Both: Check.Poor eyesight.
42
00:01:53,586 --> 00:01:55,482
Check.
IBS.
43
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:57,275
Yeah, well...Tay-Sachs disease.
44
00:01:57,275 --> 00:01:58,965
Cystic fibrosis.
Fragile X syndrome.Uh-huh, uh-huh.
45
00:01:58,965 --> 00:02:01,137
Holy shit.
Let me tell you
something, honey.
46
00:02:01,137 --> 00:02:03,689
I could've told you all of that
without your selling
47
00:02:03,689 --> 00:02:05,551
your medical history
to the government.
48
00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:07,827
What --
What do you mean?
49
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:11,517
Google owns your DNA,
you naive little bitch!
50
00:02:13,482 --> 00:02:15,793
Well, I'm gonna write
all about this
51
00:02:15,793 --> 00:02:17,310
for my grad school
personal essay.
52
00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:19,551
"Endophenotypes:
The Genetic Inheritance
53
00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:21,689
of Mental Disorders."
Yikes!
54
00:02:21,689 --> 00:02:25,344
Okay, what else does this have
to teach me abo--
55
00:02:27,137 --> 00:02:28,344
Oh, my God.
56
00:02:28,344 --> 00:02:30,827
Oh, my God!!
57
00:02:30,827 --> 00:02:31,689
Abbi.
58
00:02:31,689 --> 00:02:32,586
What?
59
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,379
Well, I just found out
60
00:02:34,379 --> 00:02:36,896
that I have the richest history
a millennial Jew can have.
61
00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:40,586
I'm related...
♪ to a Holocaust survivor ♪
62
00:02:40,586 --> 00:02:42,137
Yah!
63
00:02:49,275 --> 00:02:50,517
Hey!
64
00:02:50,517 --> 00:02:51,862
Dude,
this is incredible.
65
00:02:51,862 --> 00:02:53,551
There's so few left.
There's, like, none.
66
00:02:53,551 --> 00:02:55,034
I know,
and I'm 16th cousins
67
00:02:55,034 --> 00:02:57,862
with one who lives
in Manhattan!
Whoa.
68
00:02:57,862 --> 00:02:59,896
We have to go right
the fuck now.
Okay.
69
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:01,379
Dope, because I know
that I can learn
70
00:03:01,379 --> 00:03:02,862
so much about
my history or whatever,
71
00:03:02,862 --> 00:03:05,379
but also about our shared
mental illness. Shwing!
72
00:03:05,379 --> 00:03:07,206
Maybe I should
get myDNA tested.
73
00:03:07,206 --> 00:03:09,517
I could be related
to a Holocaust survivor, too.
74
00:03:09,517 --> 00:03:10,724
Who, a guard?
75
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:12,241
Come on, Ilana.
76
00:03:12,241 --> 00:03:13,793
I don't mean
a full-on Nazi.
77
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,724
I mean like a Polish soldier
who looked the other way.
78
00:03:15,724 --> 00:03:17,517
I am Jewish.
79
00:03:17,517 --> 00:03:20,000
Yeah, emphasis on the "ish."
Come on. Let's go.
80
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,172
So what are we doing,
the Q or the F?
81
00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:23,586
Fuck!
82
00:03:23,586 --> 00:03:25,000
What da hat?
83
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,551
Oh, this?
Lesley got it for me.
84
00:03:26,551 --> 00:03:28,517
She saw it
and thought of me.
85
00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:30,758
It's cute, right?
I'm just giving it a go.
86
00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:31,689
We'll see.
87
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:34,068
Brave.
88
00:03:40,862 --> 00:03:44,413
Yeah, so she was just, like, out
and saw it in a store
89
00:03:44,413 --> 00:03:46,862
and --
and thought of me.
90
00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:48,551
And...
91
00:03:48,551 --> 00:03:50,275
we think she likes you,
right?
92
00:03:50,275 --> 00:03:52,172
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean...
93
00:03:52,172 --> 00:03:54,275
I think
she really likes me.
94
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,896
I'm -- I --
I really like her, too.
95
00:03:56,896 --> 00:03:59,931
So, you're a hat girl now?
96
00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:02,172
I mean --
I mean, maybe.
97
00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:05,413
Is that, um...
a problem?
98
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:08,655
I'm just --
I'm surprised.
99
00:04:08,655 --> 00:04:10,724
You know, you've --
you've never expressed
100
00:04:10,724 --> 00:04:12,103
any interest in hats.
101
00:04:12,103 --> 00:04:14,172
I watch your eyes when we walk,
when we talk.
102
00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:16,344
You've never even
looked at a hat.
103
00:04:16,344 --> 00:04:19,827
Well, I mean, I guess I never
really considered them.
104
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,206
Right.
But Lesley
bought it for me,
105
00:04:22,206 --> 00:04:24,620
so I'm I'm gonna
give it a try.One last thing --
106
00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:25,931
Do you think
you're gonna be a hat person
107
00:04:25,931 --> 00:04:27,551
for the rest of your life?
108
00:04:27,551 --> 00:04:29,862
I don't know.
109
00:04:29,862 --> 00:04:31,689
Are we talking
about hats?
110
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:34,413
Yeah.
We're talking about hats.
111
00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:38,965
Hi.
Hi.
112
00:04:38,965 --> 00:04:41,448
We are here to visit
my very dear, sweet,
113
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,068
and close 16th cousin
Saul Borowitz.
114
00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:46,310
Oh, fantastic.
115
00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:48,310
He'll be so happy
to have visitors.
116
00:04:48,310 --> 00:04:49,965
Can I have
your licenses?
117
00:04:49,965 --> 00:04:52,482
And you'll get your licenses
back when you leave.
118
00:04:52,482 --> 00:04:53,758
Great.
119
00:04:53,758 --> 00:04:55,586
You can take him
to the commissary,
120
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:58,344
or any of the communal areas
on the third floor.
121
00:04:58,344 --> 00:05:00,689
-Thank you.
-He's in Room 11B.
122
00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:02,137
-Thank you.
-Thanks so much.
123
00:05:02,137 --> 00:05:04,793
Do not leave the third floor.Okay.
124
00:05:06,827 --> 00:05:08,310
Dope.
125
00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:18,344
Maybe he's hard
of hearing.
126
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,482
Should we just
try to go in?
127
00:05:24,482 --> 00:05:26,241
Let me try
something first.
128
00:05:30,137 --> 00:05:31,655
Looks like
I'm the magician
129
00:05:31,655 --> 00:05:33,896
even though you're the one
wearing that hat.
130
00:05:33,896 --> 00:05:37,068
Okay, I think the door
was just unlocked.
131
00:05:40,034 --> 00:05:42,965
Ilana: Saul?
Saul Borowitz?
132
00:05:42,965 --> 00:05:44,862
I'm your 16th cousin
Ilana Wexler.
133
00:05:44,862 --> 00:05:46,862
Oh, my God.
134
00:05:46,862 --> 00:05:48,448
Oh, my God.
135
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,896
No!
136
00:05:49,896 --> 00:05:51,482
No, no, no, no.
137
00:05:51,482 --> 00:05:53,827
No. Oh, God.
138
00:05:53,827 --> 00:05:55,379
I knew I shouldn't have
stopped at Sephora
139
00:05:55,379 --> 00:05:57,689
before I came here!
140
00:05:57,689 --> 00:06:00,862
I'm gonna cover his face up.
This is too weird.
141
00:06:00,862 --> 00:06:03,310
-Gotcha!
-Oh, my God.
142
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:05,931
Works every time.
143
00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:07,758
You know, you must be
one of those Genes&Me kids.
144
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,896
I can see the resemblance.
Look.
145
00:06:09,896 --> 00:06:12,137
That's me as
a horny teenager.
146
00:06:12,137 --> 00:06:13,620
See the hair?
147
00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,034
I guess.
148
00:06:15,034 --> 00:06:16,586
Have a seat.
149
00:06:16,586 --> 00:06:18,862
-Wow.
-Great fun, huh?
150
00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:21,034
Yes. Wild. Wild.
151
00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:22,896
Very scary.
152
00:06:22,896 --> 00:06:24,206
So, like I said,
I'm Ilana.
153
00:06:24,206 --> 00:06:26,137
And this is my,
um...
154
00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:27,931
Oh, God.
She's my everything.
155
00:06:27,931 --> 00:06:29,379
But, you know what, I'll just
boil it down to soulmate.
156
00:06:29,379 --> 00:06:30,793
Let's -- Let's just
leave it at soulmate.
157
00:06:30,793 --> 00:06:31,965
I'm Abbi.
158
00:06:31,965 --> 00:06:33,448
Nice to meet you both.
159
00:06:33,448 --> 00:06:35,551
So, Saul, I'm applying
to graduate school,
160
00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:37,068
and I'm writing
my personal essay
161
00:06:37,068 --> 00:06:38,551
about inherited trauma.
162
00:06:38,551 --> 00:06:39,965
Ah.
163
00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:42,413
For example,
I experience anxiety diarrhea
164
00:06:42,413 --> 00:06:45,310
three to eight times daily.Ay, yi, yi, yi.
165
00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:48,620
Now, do you think
that somatic expression
166
00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:51,862
tracks back
to your horrific experience
167
00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:53,413
somehow, for sure?
168
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,068
No.
169
00:06:56,068 --> 00:06:59,965
I'm gonna write
"possible connection."
170
00:06:59,965 --> 00:07:01,827
Okay.
So, tell me everything.
171
00:07:01,827 --> 00:07:03,896
I want to hear
about mental illness history,
172
00:07:03,896 --> 00:07:06,344
stories from the old country,
Nazi shit, anything.
173
00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:08,827
Tell you what.
174
00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:10,655
I'll tell you everything --
the whole family,
175
00:07:10,655 --> 00:07:12,310
relatives, everything --
176
00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:14,551
if you'll take me out of here
for a little while.
177
00:07:14,551 --> 00:07:17,448
I've been cooped up here
so long, and you know what?
178
00:07:17,448 --> 00:07:19,344
The food here is
horse shit.
179
00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:21,206
Hm.Well, the woman downstairs
said we could take you
180
00:07:21,206 --> 00:07:22,620
wherever you want
on this floor.
181
00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,827
Ah, come on.
It's so strict down there.
182
00:07:24,827 --> 00:07:26,620
I-I'm sorry, Saul.
We can't.
183
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:29,827
I mean, we're just
following orders.
184
00:07:29,827 --> 00:07:31,586
Well, I've heard
that one before.
185
00:07:31,586 --> 00:07:33,310
Oooooooh!
186
00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:35,448
Okay, okay. We're getting you
out of here right now!
187
00:07:35,448 --> 00:07:37,206
Wow!
188
00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:41,620
Yes! Yes.
189
00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:43,379
Oh, uh...
this guy had an accident.
190
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,379
Shit was everywhere.
We gotta get rid of the rug.
191
00:07:45,379 --> 00:07:47,172
Yep. We're doing it.
192
00:07:47,172 --> 00:07:48,586
Getting him out!
193
00:07:51,241 --> 00:07:53,482
-Oh, man.
194
00:07:53,482 --> 00:07:55,448
Okay.
I got --
I can't do this anymore.
195
00:07:55,448 --> 00:07:56,620
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
Okay. Ready?
196
00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:57,758
Alright. Okay.
Oh.
197
00:07:57,758 --> 00:07:59,034
Shit! Shit!
God...
198
00:07:59,034 --> 00:08:00,413
Saul!
Saul! Are you okay?!
199
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:02,034
Great work, girls.
200
00:08:02,034 --> 00:08:03,620
Ah.
201
00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:05,379
Smell that New York air.
202
00:08:05,379 --> 00:08:07,137
It's like garbage.
I love it!
203
00:08:07,137 --> 00:08:08,103
Oh, come on.
204
00:08:10,344 --> 00:08:11,655
So let's get you
some real food
205
00:08:11,655 --> 00:08:13,379
and get into some
real family history.
206
00:08:13,379 --> 00:08:14,793
For example,
I want to know --
207
00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:16,931
were your parents mentally ill,
like mine?
208
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,620
Listen --
Before we get to that...
209
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,482
Yeah?...could you guys
take me to a shoemaker?
210
00:08:20,482 --> 00:08:22,689
-Of course, Saul.
-Good.
211
00:08:22,689 --> 00:08:25,344
We'll do you one
better.
212
00:08:30,758 --> 00:08:32,344
Ooh!
That looks so nice.
213
00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:34,206
Good.
214
00:08:34,206 --> 00:08:36,827
Okay, Saul, now that
I've got you in pleasure,
215
00:08:36,827 --> 00:08:40,275
interview question number one --
what does post-traumatic
216
00:08:40,275 --> 00:08:42,172
stress disorder
mean to you?
217
00:08:42,172 --> 00:08:45,551
Look, they have high tops.
I'll be right back.
218
00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:48,517
He is too cute.
219
00:08:48,517 --> 00:08:49,827
You hear him --
220
00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:51,965
What?
221
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,137
I'm just sending a selfie
to Leslie.
222
00:08:53,137 --> 00:08:56,862
Cute.
I just, um...
223
00:08:56,862 --> 00:09:00,689
I forgot about, uh...
you know, uh...
224
00:09:03,413 --> 00:09:04,586
Saul: Girls!
225
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:07,448
I found it --
a dope-ass pair.
226
00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:11,586
I love these shoes.
227
00:09:11,586 --> 00:09:13,172
I love them, too.They look amazing on you.
228
00:09:13,172 --> 00:09:14,448
Really.
You hungry?
229
00:09:14,448 --> 00:09:17,206
Where do you want?What about Red Hook?
230
00:09:17,206 --> 00:09:18,793
Red Hook is kind of hard
to get to, right?
231
00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:20,758
Well, we can always take the --Shut up, Saul!
232
00:09:23,068 --> 00:09:25,206
♪ Hello♪
233
00:09:25,206 --> 00:09:26,413
What, dude?
234
00:09:28,517 --> 00:09:30,551
Alan motherfucking Cumming.
235
00:09:30,551 --> 00:09:32,517
Oh, my God.
236
00:09:32,517 --> 00:09:33,862
Who is that?
237
00:09:33,862 --> 00:09:35,862
Both: Alan Cumming!Saul!
238
00:09:35,862 --> 00:09:37,724
Alan Cumming --
the magical, pansexual,
239
00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:39,206
New York City
party boi-nymph
240
00:09:39,206 --> 00:09:40,931
in the beautiful flesh!I have chills.
241
00:09:40,931 --> 00:09:42,862
Okay, should we
follow him?
242
00:09:42,862 --> 00:09:44,379
I mean,
I think we have to.
243
00:09:44,379 --> 00:09:46,034
What?
I'm starving!
244
00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:47,896
Okay, it is not about you
right now, honey.
245
00:09:47,896 --> 00:09:49,896
Saul, we're talking
about Alan Cumming
246
00:09:49,896 --> 00:09:51,586
from -- from
"Romy and Michelle,"
247
00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:52,827
from "The Anniversary Party,"
from "The Good Wife,"
248
00:09:52,827 --> 00:09:55,758
from "Spice World" fame,
Saul.
249
00:09:55,758 --> 00:09:57,551
I mean, Alan Cumming
created his own perfume line
250
00:09:57,551 --> 00:09:59,068
called "Cumming."
251
00:09:59,068 --> 00:10:00,724
Is that LOL genie
or what?
252
00:10:00,724 --> 00:10:02,241
I'm wearing it
right now.
253
00:10:02,241 --> 00:10:05,068
Saul, I swear
to Adonai,
254
00:10:05,068 --> 00:10:07,068
whatever Alan Cumming has
in store for today,
255
00:10:07,068 --> 00:10:08,517
you will be
titillated by it.
Yes.
256
00:10:08,517 --> 00:10:10,344
He represents the real
New York, okay?
257
00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,758
The -- The pre-9/11,
pre-"Sex in the City,"
258
00:10:12,758 --> 00:10:15,103
Basquiat,
Keith Haring New York.
259
00:10:15,103 --> 00:10:17,413
The only Haring I'm interested
in is pickled herring.
260
00:10:17,413 --> 00:10:19,310
And as soon as we can
get to that, I am fine.
261
00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:21,275
Okay. We'll do it.You got yourself a deal.
Got yourself a deal.
262
00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:23,068
Let's go, let's go. Let's go.We'll make it happen.
All right!
263
00:10:23,068 --> 00:10:24,689
Come on, Saul.
We gotta catch up with him.Hurry it up.
264
00:10:27,379 --> 00:10:28,896
-Alright.
-Alright. We're gonna catch up.
265
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:30,724
Giddy-up, Saul!
Come on!
We got it, Saul.
266
00:10:30,724 --> 00:10:31,965
Shit, shit!
Here we go.
267
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,068
We're losing him.Okay. Alright.
268
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,413
We got --
269
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:37,034
Drag brunch!Drag brunch!
270
00:10:37,034 --> 00:10:38,448
We must!We must!
We must?
271
00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:39,689
We must!We must!
272
00:10:39,689 --> 00:10:40,896
Okay.
273
00:10:40,896 --> 00:10:42,586
-Come on, brother!
-Here we go.
274
00:10:42,586 --> 00:10:44,586
♪ You're our guest ♪
275
00:10:44,586 --> 00:10:46,000
♪ You're our guest ♪
276
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,586
♪ Jiggly Caliente is the best ♪
277
00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:50,965
♪ Tuck your dick
between your legs ♪
278
00:10:50,965 --> 00:10:53,793
♪ And shake those unfeasibly
large breasts ♪
279
00:10:53,793 --> 00:10:56,448
♪ A generous pour,
contours and curves ♪
280
00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:59,103
♪ All the drinks
that you deserve ♪
281
00:10:59,103 --> 00:11:01,586
♪ We are dressed
in all couture ♪
282
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:04,310
♪ Just ask our queen,
Sasha Velour ♪
283
00:11:04,310 --> 00:11:07,137
♪ Undo your belt,
loosen your pants ♪
284
00:11:07,137 --> 00:11:09,931
♪ Tip your waitress,
she's freelance ♪
285
00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:15,689
♪ Our mimosa pours will
always past the test ♪
286
00:11:15,689 --> 00:11:18,586
♪ Come on
and bring your nephew ♪
287
00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:21,724
♪ Apply your blush
and then you'll pass the test ♪
288
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,137
♪ Touch my chest ♪
289
00:11:23,137 --> 00:11:26,275
♪ You're our guest ♪
290
00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:31,000
Yes!
291
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,448
Can I take your order,
baby?
292
00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:35,275
Yes. Can I get a coffee
with a side of you?
293
00:11:35,275 --> 00:11:36,620
-Wooo!
-Oh!
294
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:38,034
Sau-ul.
295
00:11:38,034 --> 00:11:40,275
Looks like I got a fresh one,
mm-hmm?
296
00:11:40,275 --> 00:11:42,103
I love this place.Thank you.
297
00:11:42,103 --> 00:11:45,000
And I love money,
so make sure y'all tip, okay?
298
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,241
-Yes.
-I'll be back, doll.
299
00:11:46,241 --> 00:11:47,275
Okay.
Love it.
300
00:11:51,862 --> 00:11:54,000
Oof!
That was good.
301
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,241
Oh, my God, Ilana.
He's at the bar.
302
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,724
We have to go pay
our respects.
Okay.
303
00:12:02,724 --> 00:12:04,172
Let's vape
and loosen up a little bit.
304
00:12:04,172 --> 00:12:05,482
Okay. Thanks.
305
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,862
Oh, Saul,
this is a marijuana pen.
306
00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:13,344
Ooh, sorry.
You probably don't want that.
307
00:12:13,344 --> 00:12:14,758
Why shouldn't I
get high?
308
00:12:17,482 --> 00:12:20,379
Yeah, go for it.Get ripped, 'cuz.
309
00:12:22,724 --> 00:12:24,724
You can't get off
unless you cough!
310
00:12:24,724 --> 00:12:27,689
That's for damn sure.
311
00:12:27,689 --> 00:12:30,206
Both: Conga time!
312
00:12:30,206 --> 00:12:32,137
Ooh, come on, girls.
313
00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:33,896
Oh, my gosh, Abbi,
his friend just left him,
314
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:35,172
leaving him all alone
at the bar.
315
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:36,827
Oh, my God.
It's now or never, dude.
316
00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:38,068
Come on.
317
00:12:46,551 --> 00:12:49,000
It's a bare...
with a hint of lavender.
318
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,482
Mm.
319
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:56,000
Hello.
320
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,310
Both: Hi.
321
00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:00,758
Um, Mr. Cumming,
um...
322
00:13:00,758 --> 00:13:05,068
we just want to say
how big of fans we are.
323
00:13:05,068 --> 00:13:07,068
-Um...
-Yes.
324
00:13:07,068 --> 00:13:09,862
Thank you so much
for bringing us here today.
325
00:13:09,862 --> 00:13:11,896
For bringing you?
326
00:13:11,896 --> 00:13:13,586
We followed you
for, like, 13 blocks.
327
00:13:13,586 --> 00:13:14,965
Cool.
328
00:13:14,965 --> 00:13:16,103
It's really cool.
It is cool.
329
00:13:16,103 --> 00:13:17,793
I think
it's kind of cool.
330
00:13:17,793 --> 00:13:19,413
So you're a couple?
331
00:13:19,413 --> 00:13:20,586
No.
332
00:13:20,586 --> 00:13:21,965
We're just
best friends forever.
333
00:13:21,965 --> 00:13:24,379
Oh, it's just...
the hat.
334
00:13:24,379 --> 00:13:27,275
No, we actually just brought
Ilana's 16th cousin,
335
00:13:27,275 --> 00:13:29,586
uh, 'cause he's
a Holocaust survivor.
336
00:13:29,586 --> 00:13:31,310
Oh, really?
That's incredible.
337
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,689
My cousin.We really need
to cherish our elders
338
00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:35,379
and hear their stories.
339
00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:36,482
You want
to meet him?
340
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,000
-Sure.
-Yeah, he's here.
341
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,310
You've got to meet
my 16th cousin, Alan Cumming.
342
00:13:40,310 --> 00:13:43,241
-He's great.
-He's right over there.
343
00:13:43,241 --> 00:13:46,379
Where is he?
344
00:13:46,379 --> 00:13:47,793
-Abbi, look!
-No!
345
00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:50,103
Both: Saul!No!
346
00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:56,137
Ilana: Saul!
Abbi: Saul!
347
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:58,551
Both: Saul! Saul!
348
00:13:58,551 --> 00:14:00,103
Oh, my God.
349
00:14:00,103 --> 00:14:03,103
He's gone
for fucking ever!
Okay, okay.
350
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,862
Dude, we'll just see
where the bus stops next.
351
00:14:04,862 --> 00:14:06,586
Okay.
352
00:14:06,586 --> 00:14:08,724
Um...
353
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,758
Uh -- uh --
354
00:14:10,758 --> 00:14:12,068
I can't read
a fucking bus map.
355
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,448
No, me either.
Okay.
356
00:14:13,448 --> 00:14:15,068
We cannot be losing
Holocaust survivors!
357
00:14:15,068 --> 00:14:17,448
Not now that the world
is gaining Nazis somehow!
358
00:14:17,448 --> 00:14:19,034
Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay.
359
00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:21,068
Where would
a Holocaust survivor go?
360
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,448
Um...
361
00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:23,724
Okay, okay.
Think, think, think.
362
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:25,862
Um, pickled herring.
Um...
363
00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:27,448
Both:
Zabar's!
364
00:14:27,448 --> 00:14:28,758
Yes!
365
00:14:28,758 --> 00:14:29,862
Shit!
My hat, dude!
366
00:14:29,862 --> 00:14:31,379
Leave the hat!
No!
367
00:14:31,379 --> 00:14:33,206
It's not that simple!
368
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:40,655
To the mayo-based salads.
369
00:14:40,655 --> 00:14:43,206
Saul?
Saul Borowitz?
370
00:14:43,206 --> 00:14:44,551
Oh, excuse me,
excuse me.
371
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,448
Have you seen
an elderly gentleman,
372
00:14:46,448 --> 00:14:49,068
like yay high?
373
00:14:49,068 --> 00:14:51,793
He's also very high
as in stoned.
374
00:14:51,793 --> 00:14:53,551
Oh, he's also wearing
brightly colored
375
00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:55,275
LeBron high tops.
Yes.
376
00:14:55,275 --> 00:14:57,137
I don't think so.
Sorry.
377
00:14:57,137 --> 00:14:58,482
Shit.
378
00:14:58,482 --> 00:14:59,689
Okay.
Maybe we check down here --
379
00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,275
Wait, Ilana.
Okay.
380
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,655
Um, I'm never up here,
381
00:15:02,655 --> 00:15:05,034
and -- and the babka
is insane.
382
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,793
We got to get some
while we're here.
383
00:15:06,793 --> 00:15:08,310
I will get
some whitefish salad.
384
00:15:08,310 --> 00:15:10,172
Hey, can I get a pound
of whitefish salad please?
385
00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:11,655
And we'll take that to go.
We're kind of in a hurry.
386
00:15:11,655 --> 00:15:13,000
Thank you.
Okay, dude.
387
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,448
Where else would
a Holocaust survivor go?
388
00:15:23,344 --> 00:15:25,793
Wow, we really got lost
in there.
389
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:27,862
Well, you can't
rush through.
390
00:15:27,862 --> 00:15:29,206
No, no.
391
00:15:29,206 --> 00:15:30,689
The resilience
of the Jewish people
392
00:15:30,689 --> 00:15:32,655
is just astounding.
Yeah.
393
00:15:32,655 --> 00:15:35,275
We got to keep educating
ourselves, you know.
394
00:15:35,275 --> 00:15:37,827
Truly never forget.Never forget.
395
00:15:37,827 --> 00:15:39,448
Shit!Both: Saul!
396
00:15:39,448 --> 00:15:41,827
Oh, my God.
Idiots!
397
00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:43,827
Saul?!
398
00:15:43,827 --> 00:15:45,379
Saul?!
399
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:48,517
Okay, where else
might an old Jew go?
400
00:15:48,517 --> 00:15:50,103
A sale.
401
00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:51,517
Genius.
Jew magnet!
402
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:52,793
Yes!
403
00:15:56,862 --> 00:15:58,655
Just can't pass up a sale
like that.
404
00:15:58,655 --> 00:15:59,965
No, I mean, you find
the best stuff
405
00:15:59,965 --> 00:16:01,517
when you're not looking.That's right.
406
00:16:01,517 --> 00:16:02,551
I mean, we weren't
trying to shop.
Yeah.
407
00:16:02,551 --> 00:16:04,689
We had to.
We hadto.
408
00:16:04,689 --> 00:16:06,379
Youdon't find great clothes.
Great clothesfind you.
409
00:16:06,379 --> 00:16:07,862
Exactly.
Damn it! Saul!
410
00:16:07,862 --> 00:16:09,517
Oh, my God.
What is wrong with us?
411
00:16:09,517 --> 00:16:11,068
I don't know.
I think we smoked too much weed.
412
00:16:11,068 --> 00:16:12,517
We got to go back
to the assisted living facility.
413
00:16:12,517 --> 00:16:13,965
It's getting late,
it's getting dark.
414
00:16:13,965 --> 00:16:15,758
Yeah, you're right.
Also we need our licenses.
415
00:16:15,758 --> 00:16:17,517
Ugh. Good point.
Geez.
416
00:16:30,241 --> 00:16:32,241
Hi...
417
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,517
Doris.
418
00:16:34,517 --> 00:16:37,551
There's no delicate way
to put this,
419
00:16:37,551 --> 00:16:40,000
but, um...
420
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,206
we lost Saul,
and we can't find him,
421
00:16:43,206 --> 00:16:44,896
and we looked all over,
422
00:16:44,896 --> 00:16:46,896
all the fuck over,
and we can't find him,
423
00:16:46,896 --> 00:16:50,793
and we're really,
really, really sorry.
424
00:16:50,793 --> 00:16:53,862
Ooh.
No disrespect.
425
00:16:53,862 --> 00:16:56,172
He's at Ikea.What?
426
00:16:56,172 --> 00:16:57,689
How do you --
How do you know that?
427
00:16:57,689 --> 00:17:00,172
When he breaks out,
he always goes to IKEA.
428
00:17:00,172 --> 00:17:01,482
That's what he does.
429
00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:02,758
That's --
Well...
430
00:17:02,758 --> 00:17:04,413
That's hilarious.
-...okay.
431
00:17:04,413 --> 00:17:06,965
Didn't I tell you not to leave
the third floor with him?
432
00:17:06,965 --> 00:17:08,137
You did mention that.
433
00:17:08,137 --> 00:17:09,517
I didn't really
hear it.
434
00:17:09,517 --> 00:17:11,793
I feel like that was
more directed to my...
435
00:17:11,793 --> 00:17:12,931
friend,
to be honest.
436
00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:14,413
Okay.
437
00:17:14,413 --> 00:17:18,241
Um, so you guys got it
from here or...
438
00:17:18,241 --> 00:17:22,137
And -- And -- And --
And we could just take --
439
00:17:22,137 --> 00:17:24,241
We'll just take our licenses
back real quick,
440
00:17:24,241 --> 00:17:26,310
and then we'll just be like,
"Great meeting ya".
441
00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:28,862
No.
442
00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:33,551
Go get him.
443
00:17:33,551 --> 00:17:35,241
Okay, um...
444
00:17:35,241 --> 00:17:37,310
Do you think that we can
leave our bags --
445
00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:38,344
Now.
446
00:17:38,344 --> 00:17:40,482
We'll take them.Yeah.
447
00:17:40,482 --> 00:17:41,586
See you later.
448
00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:46,172
Ilana: Saul?
449
00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:47,620
Saul?!
450
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,413
Oh, my God, Abbi.
He's here.
451
00:17:49,413 --> 00:17:52,068
Oh, my gosh, Saul, we've been
looking everywhere for you!
452
00:17:52,068 --> 00:17:53,620
-God!
453
00:17:53,620 --> 00:17:55,620
Wow.
454
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:57,344
You know, y-you come in
for one thing,
455
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,827
and -- and...
456
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,965
Like your cousin,
the Holocaust survivor.
457
00:18:03,137 --> 00:18:04,379
Before you take me back,
458
00:18:04,379 --> 00:18:07,586
how about some
Swedish meatballs?
459
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,586
Mm.
I mean,
you know I'm in.
460
00:18:10,586 --> 00:18:12,482
You can leave the hat
in the cart.
461
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:25,517
-These are so good.
-Told ya.
462
00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:28,482
So what's up with
the IKEA fetish, Saul?
463
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,206
Well...
464
00:18:30,206 --> 00:18:33,000
when I escaped
from the camp,
465
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,862
I wound up in Sweden,
466
00:18:35,862 --> 00:18:38,413
and those people,
the -- the Swedish people,
467
00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:40,379
they were so good to me.Hm.
468
00:18:40,379 --> 00:18:43,413
And their furniture
was so elegant.
469
00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:46,827
So this is like, um,
retail therapy.
470
00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:48,724
-Makes sense.
471
00:18:48,724 --> 00:18:49,862
Well, we had
a great day with you.
472
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:51,172
Thanks for sharing it
with us.
473
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:53,137
We learned so much
from you, Saul.
474
00:18:53,137 --> 00:18:55,034
And -- And also,
the, um...
475
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,068
Holocaust Memorial Museum
of New York.
476
00:18:57,068 --> 00:18:58,206
We just stopped by.
477
00:18:58,206 --> 00:18:59,517
You know my motto --
478
00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:01,137
Never forget.
479
00:19:01,137 --> 00:19:02,793
Also...
480
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:04,655
don't remind me.Yeah.
481
00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:08,137
And you look a great deal
like my father.
482
00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:09,827
-Are you serious?
-Yeah. Yeah.
483
00:19:09,827 --> 00:19:12,620
Really?It's all about --
It's all about the eyes...
484
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:13,793
The moustache.
485
00:19:21,448 --> 00:19:23,724
Oh, my...God.
486
00:19:23,724 --> 00:19:25,206
Okay.
487
00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,275
Let me talk to you for one --
one quick sec.
488
00:19:27,275 --> 00:19:28,620
Yeah.
Okay. So, um...
489
00:19:28,620 --> 00:19:32,965
I, um...
I feel like I gave, um,
490
00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:36,862
this -- this guy, like,
a good go of it today.
491
00:19:36,862 --> 00:19:41,448
And I-I just don't think
that it's really me.
492
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,689
O-Okay.
493
00:19:43,689 --> 00:19:45,896
I mean, I-I-I really
appreciate the gesture.
494
00:19:45,896 --> 00:19:47,517
Like, it was so nice
that you would think of me --
495
00:19:47,517 --> 00:19:49,275
It's totally fine.But, like, it's just not my --
496
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,344
Abbi -- Abbi, listen.
I thought it looked cute on you.
497
00:19:51,344 --> 00:19:54,517
Okay.
But you're much cuter
without it.
498
00:19:56,965 --> 00:19:58,137
Oh.
499
00:19:58,137 --> 00:20:00,000
Sweet relief.
500
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,000
Oh, my God.
501
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,482
I feel so much better.
502
00:20:06,482 --> 00:20:08,068
Ilana: "It's not about
the hideous hat.
503
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:10,137
It's about the head
that wears it.
504
00:20:10,137 --> 00:20:11,965
I couldn't help but wonder,
505
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:15,862
I used to think being Jewish
meant IBS, Tay-Sachs,
506
00:20:15,862 --> 00:20:20,482
inherited trauma,
and childhood contact lenses."
507
00:20:20,482 --> 00:20:22,413
Oh.
508
00:20:22,413 --> 00:20:25,448
"But now I know being Jewish
is about being resilient,
509
00:20:25,448 --> 00:20:27,517
having the strength
to survive the Holocaust
510
00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:30,137
in perpetual exile,
as well as being able
511
00:20:30,137 --> 00:20:32,689
to carry a stag table
to the parking lot of an IKEA
512
00:20:32,689 --> 00:20:34,413
at 91 years old."
513
00:20:40,137 --> 00:20:42,517
"And I hopeyou
have the strength
514
00:20:42,517 --> 00:20:44,448
to accept this little Jew
515
00:20:44,448 --> 00:20:46,689
into your Psychology
Gradate program.
516
00:20:46,689 --> 00:20:48,206
Shalom."
517
00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:57,862
Yeah, I'm getting in.
518
00:21:00,137 --> 00:21:02,517
Oh, my God.
519
00:21:02,517 --> 00:21:04,000
Cute as hell.
520
00:21:11,068 --> 00:21:12,310
Are you performers?
521
00:21:12,310 --> 00:21:13,241
No. Why?
522
00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:15,000
The...hat.
523
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,000
Oh, this?
No, this is a style choice.
524
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,137
Usually,
I'm pro-choice,
525
00:21:20,137 --> 00:21:22,620
but I would abort this
if I could.
526
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:24,655
The hat --
I'd burn it.
35906
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof