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1
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:10,900
Ahh-- maitake.
Dang.
2
00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,167
Touch of Himalayan
sea salt.
3
00:00:12,233 --> 00:00:13,967
Himalayan sea salt.
4
00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:15,200
Okay, okay, morels.
5
00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:17,200
Spongy mushroom
in a dark sauce.
6
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,733
So good.
So good.
7
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:19,833
Fennell seeds, please.
8
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:21,033
Yes.
9
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:22,267
Have you ever heard
of hen of the woods?
10
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:24,333
Yeah, I've heard
of hen of the woods.
11
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,033
No, I know.
Hen of the woods are
12
00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,500
literally,
like, what?
13
00:00:27,567 --> 00:00:30,167
Hen of the woods are
literally, like, what?
14
00:00:30,233 --> 00:00:32,067
Exactly.
Oh, portabella.
15
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:34,200
Oh, obvious.
That's, like, durr.
16
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,100
Durr.
Well, what are
these ones called?
17
00:00:36,167 --> 00:00:38,433
I think they're
just called shrooms.
18
00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,567
Yeah.
Shrooms.
19
00:00:42,967 --> 00:00:44,100
Whew!
20
00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:46,000
(squealing)
21
00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:47,733
So, the fat
in the yogurt
22
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,433
activates the psilocybin
in the mushrooms, however,
23
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:53,833
it slow down digestion,
thus yielding the perfect
24
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,867
stroganina timeline
for today's trip.
25
00:00:55,933 --> 00:00:57,467
All right.
(sighing)
26
00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:01,867
B-R-B, life,
27
00:01:01,933 --> 00:01:04,600
"Hwelcome" to
"hwitch hworld," baby.
28
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,233
I could eat this
every day.
29
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:11,833
Yeah, it's--
it tastes really good.
30
00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:14,067
Whistle, Tootsie Pop.
31
00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:17,067
Water, charger,
passports,
32
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:18,333
dreamcatcher,
backup dreamcatcher.
33
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,467
So, are you feeling
anything yet?
34
00:01:19,533 --> 00:01:21,300
No. Did you pee?
Um, I did.
35
00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:24,967
Like, in the bathroom.
Not, like, right this minute.
36
00:01:26,867 --> 00:01:28,967
(gasping)
37
00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,200
Dude...
38
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:32,667
are you seeing
what I'm seeing?
39
00:01:37,133 --> 00:01:38,500
The dust ruffle's blowing,
40
00:01:38,567 --> 00:01:42,267
as if in the wind,
but the windows are shut.
41
00:01:54,900 --> 00:01:57,167
(both, echoing)
The dust ruffle's blowing,
as if in the wind,
42
00:01:57,233 --> 00:01:58,433
but the windows are shut!
43
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,767
(voice)
* Four and three and... *
44
00:02:03,833 --> 00:02:06,067
So you are,
like, feeling it?
45
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:07,333
Uh...
46
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,667
(high-pitched)
...yeah.
47
00:02:08,733 --> 00:02:11,233
* Four and three
and two and one-one *
48
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,733
**
49
00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:18,733
Then I realized,
I don't have permanent mono,
50
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,533
I'm just a little allergic
to almond milk.
51
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,667
Can I just say one thing?
Please, say it.
52
00:02:22,733 --> 00:02:24,833
Love is cool.
It's just cool.
53
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:28,067
Love is cool.
It's like the cure.
54
00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:31,833
(whistling, booming)
(Abbi)
Whoa.
55
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:35,467
Wow.
Wow.
56
00:02:35,533 --> 00:02:37,233
I mean, can I just
say one thing?
57
00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,733
Please, say it.
58
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,667
Sometimes I think
about babies.
59
00:02:40,733 --> 00:02:42,333
I think about it
all the time.
60
00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:45,500
A person pussy-poops
another person.
61
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,367
And then produces milk
62
00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:49,367
to make it grow
to be human-sized?
63
00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:52,100
That's comic book shit.
64
00:02:52,167 --> 00:02:54,067
Moms are literal
superheroes.
65
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,800
I mean,
can you imagine
66
00:02:55,867 --> 00:02:59,400
how much love you must feel
when you have a baby?
67
00:02:59,467 --> 00:03:01,300
They have
supa-dupa love,
68
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:02,733
like that song,
69
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,300
"Supa Duper Love,"
by Joss Stone.
70
00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,433
That's the fucking power!
71
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,333
God, we're gonna
be good moms.
72
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,867
Hey, get outta the way.
73
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:14,067
Is it weird
my nipples are sore?
74
00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:15,533
No, that is
perfectly normal.
75
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,667
Mine are bleeding.
(cat screeching)
76
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,400
(car horn honking)
77
00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:26,067
Did you ever think about
getting a bra for your butt?
78
00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:28,433
(wolf-whistling)
No--
do you think I should?
79
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,133
No way.
80
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,133
Let 'em swang, sister.
81
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,467
Woo!
Woohoo!
82
00:03:33,533 --> 00:03:34,967
Look at 'em go!
83
00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:36,833
That is
a powerful ass.
84
00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:38,667
Feeling it!
(chuckling)
85
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,200
Oh, boy.
Oh, girl.
86
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,933
Tunnels are
so intense.
87
00:03:47,067 --> 00:03:49,267
They're a microcosm
of the whole trip.
88
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:50,800
A microcosm!
89
00:03:50,867 --> 00:03:53,067
We're okay, we're okay,
take my hand.
90
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:57,067
Oh...
91
00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:59,433
(cawing)
92
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:06,533
(both screaming)
93
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,200
I'm squeezing my core.
I don't know why.
94
00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:11,100
It's watching us!
Oh, my God,
go faster, go faster.
95
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,167
(Ilana screaming)
96
00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:19,800
Oh, I love you, man.
I love you too, man.
97
00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:21,867
**
98
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:25,567
Turned out she was
convicted of arson,
99
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,433
but now
she's a Crossfit trainer.
100
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,767
Eliot says
she's the best one.
101
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,633
That makes
so much sense...
102
00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:37,167
Whoa.
Did you hear that?
103
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:39,400
* (different chimes) *
104
00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:40,567
(chimes, cymbal crash)
105
00:04:40,633 --> 00:04:42,200
This is amazing!
106
00:04:42,267 --> 00:04:43,967
* (echoing) *
107
00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:47,233
Oh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
108
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,067
Yeah!
109
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:51,633
Woo! Woo!
Woohoo!
110
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:54,400
* (ah-oo-gah horn) *
111
00:04:54,467 --> 00:04:56,333
(voice)
Oh, oh!
112
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,900
(voice)
Oh, yeah!
113
00:04:57,967 --> 00:05:00,067
Mm, mmm! Mmm!
114
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,633
Ooh, ahh, ahh!
115
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:05,067
Ahh!
Yass!
116
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,633
Abbi!
Ilana!
117
00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:08,433
Oh, Abbi!
Oh, Ilana!
118
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,933
Abbi!
119
00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:12,867
Abbi!...
(gibberish)
120
00:05:14,367 --> 00:05:16,867
Ilana!
(gibberish)
121
00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:20,067
(car horns honking)
122
00:05:20,067 --> 00:05:23,633
Holy shit,
music is so powerful.
123
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:26,067
Something feels... off.
124
00:05:26,133 --> 00:05:27,433
It is time for us to go.
125
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,133
Oh, I feel it, too.
Down here, down here.
126
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,767
(both)
Whoa!
127
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:37,600
(voice)
Look at that. Hi!
128
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:40,600
Bingo Bronson!
Oh, hi!
129
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:43,667
Hey, Ilana.
Oh.
130
00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:45,233
(voice)
It's gorgeous.
131
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:46,633
Gorgeous.
132
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:49,067
Mmm... watermelon.
133
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,433
Love is so cool.
134
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,233
It really is.
135
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:54,900
We should
write that down.
136
00:05:54,967 --> 00:05:56,400
For what?
137
00:05:56,467 --> 00:05:59,367
Sometimes I just feel like
our dynamic is special,
138
00:05:59,433 --> 00:06:00,933
and we should capture it.
139
00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:03,067
I feel like people would
really relate to it.
140
00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:04,100
(thrumming)
141
00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:05,900
Oh, I think
I brought my vibrator.
142
00:06:05,967 --> 00:06:09,367
Dude, maybe
I am changing.
143
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:11,200
Maybe it's just
your phone.
144
00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:12,933
Oh.
145
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:13,867
Fuck!
146
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:15,733
Shit,
Dara needs me tonight!
147
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,533
But it's the weekend!
148
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,100
I know!
149
00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:20,567
Okay, she wrote,
150
00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:22,600
"Abbi, I'm so sorry
to ask you this,
151
00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:24,833
"but I need you
to pick up 100 macarons
152
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:26,533
"for my wife's birthday
153
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,900
and bring them to my house
in the next hour."
154
00:06:27,967 --> 00:06:29,600
What?
155
00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:32,200
Have I been talking
for a long time?
156
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,500
No, just,
like, a second.
157
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,067
Just finish the text!
158
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:36,900
"So, I know
it's the weekend..."
159
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:40,167
...but I really need
this stupid, inedible dessert.
160
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,633
She's French.
161
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:45,700
Reality...
penetrating...
162
00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:47,900
Hold my hand!
163
00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:49,067
Ahh!
164
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:51,133
(both screaming)
165
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,533
(tongues slurping)
166
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,733
(Abbi)
Thank God we have
these lollipops.
167
00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,600
Okay, okay,
You know what?
168
00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,500
It's okay.
We're okay.
169
00:07:01,567 --> 00:07:03,667
We're fine,
totally calm
170
00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:05,267
and cool as cucumbers.
171
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,200
This doesn't have
to totally change our day.
172
00:07:07,267 --> 00:07:08,467
No, no, it doesn't.
173
00:07:08,533 --> 00:07:11,067
Macarons are
very colorful and vibrant,
174
00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:13,233
and that is good.
Yeah, they are.
175
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:15,933
I mean, I don't actually
like them, like, flavorwise.
176
00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:18,300
No.
But we'll just go and get
a hundred macarons--
177
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:20,833
(sighing)
--sneak into Dara's house,
so her wife doesn't find out
178
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:21,833
that this was
an afterthought.
179
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,667
Easy, so easy--
180
00:07:23,733 --> 00:07:25,100
Mm-hmm.
--and not stressful.
181
00:07:25,167 --> 00:07:28,700
Mm-hmm, we are on a legit
secret mission for love,
182
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:31,200
and that,
my friend, is cool.
183
00:07:31,267 --> 00:07:33,133
Good call.
184
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,100
That is cool.
185
00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:36,667
Mmm. Totally cool.
186
00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:40,167
Isn't it nuts that
pickles were cucumbers?
187
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:43,267
They're the trans people
of the vegetable community.
188
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:48,267
* (distorted accordion) *
189
00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:51,933
(both)
Wow...
190
00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:57,600
Oh, my God,
it's beautiful.
191
00:07:57,667 --> 00:07:58,667
The colors...
192
00:07:58,733 --> 00:08:00,333
Macarons taste terrible,
193
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,767
but God,
are they pretty.
194
00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:05,300
Whoa.
Look at him.
195
00:08:06,633 --> 00:08:07,933
Bonjour,
mademoiselle.
196
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:10,600
Bienvenue a la Boutique
de Macaron.
197
00:08:10,667 --> 00:08:13,133
(speaking French)
198
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,133
Sorry, I only took French
for seven years.
199
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,700
I have no idea
what you're saying.
200
00:08:16,767 --> 00:08:18,367
(chuckling)
201
00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:21,200
(speaking French)
202
00:08:23,467 --> 00:08:25,567
I've never been to Paris.
203
00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:28,467
God, it really is
so beautiful.
204
00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:31,667
But French people just want
to make everything, like, fancy.
205
00:08:31,733 --> 00:08:33,267
Like, their fries.
206
00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:36,233
(French accent)
It is like, we all
love ze food.
207
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:39,067
You are not special
because you love ze food.
208
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,400
Ilana, you know that being
racist against white people
209
00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:42,733
is still being racist.
210
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:43,900
Eh, I dunno.
211
00:08:43,967 --> 00:08:46,567
(tiny-voiced)
Woohoo! Yay!
212
00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:48,700
Viva la resistance!
213
00:08:48,767 --> 00:08:53,133
Au revoir...
(speaking French)
214
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,533
(speaking French)
215
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,100
Au revoir!
216
00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:01,100
(subway tone)
217
00:09:06,367 --> 00:09:08,733
(whistling, booming)
218
00:09:12,433 --> 00:09:15,900
**
219
00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:17,467
Hey. Come on in,
come on.
220
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,433
Okay, let's set
these bad boys up.
221
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:24,633
Okay.
All right.
222
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:27,267
You are saving my ass,
Abbi, I owe you one.
223
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:29,133
There is no reason
why I was not prepared
224
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,167
to do this exact task
on a day such as today.
225
00:09:32,233 --> 00:09:34,467
I should have known
she was gonna want macarons
226
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,800
and not carrot cake.
227
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,333
And she's been hinting
about it all week.
228
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,633
I fucking hate hints.
I never respond to 'em.
229
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:40,767
Just say what you want.
230
00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:42,933
Totally.
Hints are the worst.
231
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:44,967
It's like, do you want
to tell me the thing
232
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,900
you're trying
to tell me about?
233
00:09:46,967 --> 00:09:49,167
Please just tell me
directly what you want,
234
00:09:49,233 --> 00:09:50,567
'cause then
I'll do the thing.
235
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:54,367
I'll do the damn thing,
I just need a fucking clue.
236
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,767
Thank you,
thank you for helping out.
237
00:09:58,833 --> 00:10:01,467
And please stay.
Eat, drink, mingle.
238
00:10:01,533 --> 00:10:03,433
I'm gonna get my girl.
239
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,433
Okay.
240
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,667
(wolf howling)
241
00:10:06,733 --> 00:10:08,933
(wolf whistle)
242
00:10:11,033 --> 00:10:12,067
Wow.
243
00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:15,067
(chuckling)
244
00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:17,100
So you're in town
just for one more night.
245
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:21,067
Yeah, with--
Did you meet my partner?
246
00:10:21,133 --> 00:10:22,767
Dean?
247
00:10:23,633 --> 00:10:25,567
I have not.
248
00:10:25,633 --> 00:10:27,267
He looks smart.
249
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,667
That's-- That's
what I'm getting.
250
00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:31,300
Well, we are always
looking for someone
251
00:10:31,367 --> 00:10:32,433
to show us a good time.
252
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:35,633
Do you mean, like...
253
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,433
Yeah.
254
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,200
(gasping)
255
00:10:44,733 --> 00:10:47,233
You really came through
tonight, Ab.
256
00:10:47,300 --> 00:10:48,933
You know, I've been
wanting to talk to you.
257
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,667
I checked out your website
recently, Abbilicious.com?
258
00:10:52,733 --> 00:10:54,867
Oh, that's old.
That's from college.
259
00:10:54,933 --> 00:10:56,867
Really wonderful stuff.
260
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:59,033
Funny,
great sense of color.
261
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,067
I was thinking
we should get dinner.
262
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:02,433
Yeah, maybe
one night this week.
263
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,633
Talk about your goals
and you potentially
264
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,433
taking on more
creative assignments.
265
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,700
That sound good?
266
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:15,067
Yeah, that sounds...
267
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,967
That sounds...
I hear it.
268
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,067
Check out my schedule
and put it on the books.
269
00:11:20,133 --> 00:11:22,567
Okay, great.
Sounds great.
270
00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:25,333
Yeah.
271
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,133
Well, well, well...
272
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,133
Looks like Abbi's night's
turning around, huh?
273
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,733
Abbi!
(cat screeching)
Hey.
274
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,533
Come with me.
All right.
275
00:11:35,967 --> 00:11:37,367
Where are we going?
Jesus Christ.
276
00:11:37,433 --> 00:11:39,500
This is not a joke.
(chuckling)
277
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,100
(clearing throat)
278
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:44,067
So, um,
how are you feeling?
279
00:11:44,133 --> 00:11:45,733
Yeah, I'm feeling,
definitely, like,
280
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:46,867
a little bit
different, right?
281
00:11:46,933 --> 00:11:48,467
We're dropping, right?
Yeah.
282
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,733
Our serotonin is, like,
fully fucking depleted.
283
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,067
Yeah.
We're just gonna blaze
284
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:54,233
and boost ourselves
right back up.
Okay.
285
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:57,733
Dara wants to schedule
a dinner with me, just us,
286
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,733
to talk about me taking on
more creative assignments.
287
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,100
(inhaling)
Creative assignments?
288
00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:06,133
Yeah.
Yass, beesh!
289
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,067
My body still feels, like,
kinda weird right now,
290
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:11,700
but I'm able to process that
this is, like, really good.
291
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:13,633
We are thriving.
292
00:12:15,233 --> 00:12:16,767
I'm about to fuck
two of the hottest people
293
00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:18,400
I've ever seen,
a couple.
294
00:12:18,467 --> 00:12:20,400
And the woman is older!
295
00:12:20,467 --> 00:12:22,600
(chuckling)
296
00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:25,367
And they wooed me.
297
00:12:25,433 --> 00:12:27,333
Wow. Ilana...
298
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,367
Love is like...
299
00:12:29,433 --> 00:12:31,600
It's like--
sort of like--
It's like, it's...
300
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,233
No, it's just-- yes!
Cool.
301
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:36,533
And you are,
like... zzhhh...
302
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,367
And you, like,
find it every time,
303
00:12:38,433 --> 00:12:40,833
it's like,
I don't know how you do it.
304
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:43,333
And we are just
on this, like...
305
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,133
(voice slowing)
...wild journey
that we call life.
306
00:12:51,867 --> 00:12:54,833
I am feeling that weed.
307
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,500
Hmm...
On top of the...
308
00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:59,200
(high-pitched)
Yes. On top.
(high-pitched)
It's feeling like--
309
00:12:59,267 --> 00:13:01,567
I do feel it.
It is a cumulative
experience.
310
00:13:01,633 --> 00:13:03,500
(echoing)
It's not nothing.
(echoing)
Very much like
311
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,367
a pressurized part.
You know what?
312
00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:07,200
I think we've had enough.
I feel like I had enough.
313
00:13:07,267 --> 00:13:08,300
I had a bunch.
Cha-ching, see ya.
314
00:13:08,367 --> 00:13:10,533
And I'm just,
um, gonna go
315
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,767
have comfortable sex
at this hot couple's hotel,
316
00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:18,067
and I'm really gonna miss you,
and I love you so much.
317
00:13:18,133 --> 00:13:20,067
Ilana, I love you, too.
318
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:31,067
(both chuckling)
319
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,767
(both snorting)
320
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:37,700
(both chuckling)
321
00:13:42,967 --> 00:13:45,400
Okay...
I'm gonna go.
322
00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:52,667
* Pussy pussy pussy puss
pussy pussy pussy *
323
00:13:52,733 --> 00:13:56,200
**
324
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:17,767
I have a huge pussy-- huge.
325
00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:20,600
Could fit you both,
probably.
326
00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:24,633
Um, so should we set up
some rules or guidelines
327
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,467
or a safe word?
328
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:31,733
Wow, wow, you guys are like
hard-bodied Greek statues.
329
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:36,867
I hope you're into a soft
Russian peasant body.
330
00:14:36,933 --> 00:14:39,433
(chuckling)
331
00:14:40,233 --> 00:14:43,433
Wow, so stimulating.
332
00:14:45,733 --> 00:14:47,933
Really hot.
Whew.
333
00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:51,300
Woo! Yowza.
334
00:14:51,367 --> 00:14:55,333
Holy Moly,
wow, okay, cool abs.
335
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,567
Penis perfect.
Incredible tits.
336
00:14:57,633 --> 00:14:59,100
(man)
It's like
the Sahara down here.
337
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:00,800
I must be so dehydrated
338
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:04,867
from all the squirting
and cumming I do.
339
00:15:04,933 --> 00:15:06,067
I'll--
I'll B-R-B.
340
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:08,300
I'll B-R-B.
341
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,067
(adjusting dial)
342
00:15:11,133 --> 00:15:13,133
* (big band) *
343
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,300
(adjusting dial)
344
00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:16,567
* (pop song) *
345
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:21,200
**
Okay.
346
00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,567
(meowing)
347
00:15:24,867 --> 00:15:26,733
(sighing)
348
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:33,333
Okay,
I'll let you out.
349
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,667
(clearing throat)
350
00:15:35,733 --> 00:15:37,133
Go ahead.
(mewling)
351
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,133
Okay.
(squish, meow)
352
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,633
You know what?
I just need a minute.
353
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,500
Get it together,
we'll go out to the party,
354
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,467
and then we will be ourselves
with this bunch of strangers.
355
00:15:45,533 --> 00:15:48,167
All right.
This is good, I feel better.
356
00:15:48,233 --> 00:15:50,300
Oh. Okay.
357
00:15:52,733 --> 00:15:54,100
Oh, my God.
358
00:15:54,167 --> 00:15:56,867
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no!
359
00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:58,767
Holy shit, holy shit.
360
00:16:00,533 --> 00:16:03,600
I'm brave,
and I am super cool.
361
00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:05,067
Yeah, no shit!
362
00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:07,933
It's me.
Ilana Rodham-Obama Wexler.
363
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,633
Jew-nami!
Woo!
364
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,300
Vulvarine! Ow!
365
00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:13,133
Nikki Min-Ashkenazi!
366
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,867
Uh! I'm free,
and I'm wild,
367
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,333
and I got big o'titties.
368
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,067
Come on, kids.
Aniston out.
369
00:16:20,067 --> 00:16:21,900
Come on,
come on, here we go.
370
00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:23,067
Come on!
371
00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:25,300
Hey! Ilana.
372
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:28,600
Proper oral hygiene stimulates
more than just your gums.
373
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:34,067
Woohoo!
Ready to fuck!
374
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:36,200
I want you to put that on.
375
00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:37,633
Tight.
376
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,667
You guys picked it up
in the village?
377
00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:46,867
I want you
to enter Dean from behind
378
00:16:46,933 --> 00:16:48,933
while he eats me out.
379
00:16:49,067 --> 00:16:51,300
Dope!
Very cool.
380
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:53,567
You guys are efficient.
381
00:16:53,633 --> 00:16:56,533
Okay, entering
and eating out.
382
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,967
Great.
383
00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:00,767
It's weird you're seeing me
in a random suitcase,
384
00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:02,500
but you still
have my suitcase,
385
00:17:02,567 --> 00:17:04,067
and that's a visual
reminder of me,
386
00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:06,733
so this train of mental
hallucination makes sense.
387
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:07,967
Totally makes sense.
388
00:17:08,067 --> 00:17:09,967
But back to business.
389
00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,300
Wow, Ilana.
Pegasus.
390
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:13,467
This is what
you always wanted.
391
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,533
This is your dream.
Kudos!
392
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:20,833
I have to, um,
poop... hard.
393
00:17:26,233 --> 00:17:27,900
(meowing echoing)
Okay.
394
00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:29,200
It's okay, okay.
395
00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:30,667
Oprah, Oprah.
396
00:17:30,733 --> 00:17:33,400
(screeching)
Mark Ruffalo.
397
00:17:33,467 --> 00:17:35,233
Flutes, flutes, uh...
398
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,900
Music is great.
Music is great.
399
00:17:36,967 --> 00:17:38,567
(groaning)
400
00:17:38,633 --> 00:17:40,633
Pugs, pug puppies.
Puppies.
401
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:42,900
(meowing)
(screaming)
402
00:17:42,967 --> 00:17:44,900
(cat screeching)
403
00:17:44,967 --> 00:17:46,467
Where is that coming from?
404
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,333
(groaning)
(cat screeching)
405
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,900
(screeching)
406
00:17:52,967 --> 00:17:55,233
(groaning)
407
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:58,200
Stupid, stupid!
What is wrong with you?
408
00:17:58,267 --> 00:18:00,900
I can do this.
I want this.
409
00:18:00,967 --> 00:18:02,767
I'm single!
410
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:06,333
Who's ready to fuck?
411
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,967
What gives?
Ilana.
412
00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:10,967
What's going on?
413
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:12,600
What's going on...
414
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:17,833
is how hot
and fun I am.
415
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,767
See? Look at that.
416
00:18:19,833 --> 00:18:21,067
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
417
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,933
Ow! Uh-- ow.
418
00:18:29,633 --> 00:18:32,067
(knocking)
419
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:33,467
(Dara)
Hello?
Dara?
420
00:18:33,533 --> 00:18:36,267
Oh, my God.
Dara.
421
00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:37,533
Thank God, Dara.
422
00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,533
I've been locked in here
for, like, hours.
423
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,967
You just unlocked the door.
424
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:43,600
What's going on?
425
00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:46,600
I'm tripping on mushrooms,
and I'm having a bad trip.
426
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,500
I thought you were
acting kinda funny,
427
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:51,167
but I called you
on a weekend--
that's my bad.
428
00:18:51,233 --> 00:18:53,433
Yeah, I didn't know--
I wasn't ready to--
429
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,233
I would've not.
I get it.
430
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,733
We've all had bad trips.
(sighing)
431
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,067
This too shall pass.
432
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:00,500
Just try
to say that with me.
433
00:19:00,567 --> 00:19:02,500
(both)
This too shall pass.
434
00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:05,533
This too shall pass.
435
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,900
Let's get
some fresh air in here.
436
00:19:06,967 --> 00:19:08,433
Yeah, I didn't even
think about that.
437
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:09,967
Yeah, that'll
make you feel better.
438
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:12,067
Amanda?
Amanda!
439
00:19:12,133 --> 00:19:14,100
Amanda asked to go outside,
I just let her out!
440
00:19:14,167 --> 00:19:15,767
You killed my cat!
441
00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:17,767
What the fuck--
you fucking monster?
442
00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:18,667
You killed Amanda!
443
00:19:18,733 --> 00:19:20,833
No, no!
(woman screaming)
444
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:23,267
Okay, I would not--
She's smushed!
445
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:24,400
This too shall pass,
this too shall pass!
446
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,733
This too shall not
fucking pass!
447
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,767
You're fired.
Get the hell out of my house.
448
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,600
Wait, wait, wait,
this is a--
Now!
449
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:32,167
Okay, okay, yeah.
450
00:19:32,233 --> 00:19:33,833
Fucking drug addict.
451
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:37,067
Oh, Amanda!
Okay, just let me-- okay.
452
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,100
(sniffing)
453
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,933
Let's do this.
454
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:57,700
**
455
00:19:57,767 --> 00:19:59,633
Doesn't look that high.
456
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:03,200
Guess they have to carb-load
after their fucking hike.
457
00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:06,033
Ew. Ew. Ugh.
Not into it.
458
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,700
Dodged a (bleep) bullet.
459
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:10,700
I wouldn't want
that kind of intimacy.
460
00:20:10,767 --> 00:20:13,200
(clearing throat)
(neck cracks)
461
00:20:13,267 --> 00:20:15,367
Cute.
So cute.
462
00:20:15,433 --> 00:20:16,667
Goddammit.
463
00:20:16,733 --> 00:20:19,433
I love them.
Oh, I hate them.
464
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:23,500
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
465
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:26,333
* Hey, li'l kid,
what's poppin'? *
466
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,033
* Hey, li'l kid,
what's poppin'? *
467
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:30,733
* No, we don't want
no problem... *
468
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,367
(sniffing)
469
00:20:32,433 --> 00:20:34,667
(sighing)
470
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:36,133
* Hey, li'l kid,
what's poppin'? *
471
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,167
Delete. Delete.
472
00:20:38,233 --> 00:20:39,600
Unsubscribe.
Unsubscribe.
473
00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:41,467
Unfollow, unfollow,
unfriend!
474
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:43,233
(sniffing)
475
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:46,500
Aaaaaaah!
476
00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:50,033
(sighing)
I feel better.
477
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:52,900
Yeah, good job, dude.
I'm proud of you.
478
00:20:52,967 --> 00:20:57,700
That was also the same sound
the cat made as it died slowly.
479
00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:01,067
It's not your fault.
480
00:21:01,100 --> 00:21:03,067
Isn't it, though?
481
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:05,100
Yes.
482
00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:15,067
(slow, echoing laughter)
32219
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