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1
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,267
Do you think that I should keep
my bangs growing out long
2
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:12,300
or cut 'em like Amelie style?
3
00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:13,967
Keep 'em growing out,
more witchy.
4
00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:15,200
Bangs growing out are witchy?
5
00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:16,700
Yeah, but das a good thing.
Huh.
6
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,767
Witch shit is
fuckin' hot, dawg.
7
00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:20,200
Hot dog!
8
00:00:20,267 --> 00:00:22,300
So, you're gonna head inside
right here,
9
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:23,633
Judy's gonna be in there
to greet you
10
00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:25,367
and help you fill out
all your paperwork.
11
00:00:25,433 --> 00:00:28,167
And remember,
you are a strong queen.
12
00:00:28,233 --> 00:00:30,133
Your body, your choice.
Simple.
13
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,533
(man)
Don't go in there!
14
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,533
Don't go in there!
Don't!
15
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:36,600
They're God's children.
16
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,933
(man)
You're killing the innocent!
17
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,567
You don't know how much
you need that!
18
00:00:41,633 --> 00:00:43,133
(coughing)
19
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,633
You need to chill!
20
00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:48,800
So what else is witchy?
21
00:00:48,867 --> 00:00:50,367
Clogs, long nails.
22
00:00:50,433 --> 00:00:51,433
Short nails,
soup.
23
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:53,133
Huh.
Flutes?
24
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,233
Yas, flutes.
Huh.
25
00:00:56,867 --> 00:00:59,233
Why are we doing this?
26
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:04,633
* Four and three and two
and one *
27
00:01:08,900 --> 00:01:09,833
(elevator dings)
28
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:11,800
How's it going?
29
00:01:11,867 --> 00:01:13,167
Got one?
30
00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:14,867
Ooh!
31
00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:17,600
Oh! My man!
32
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,300
Mm.
33
00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:22,567
Abs?
34
00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:24,567
Dara, hey.
(clears throat)
35
00:01:24,633 --> 00:01:26,400
I was just checking out--
uh, the chair,
36
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:27,567
making sure the height
was right.
37
00:01:27,633 --> 00:01:29,633
Got the cappuccino.
38
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,500
Collated the logos
for your 3:00 p.m.
39
00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:33,467
And what about the cat food?
40
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:36,933
Yes, cat food right over here,
totally organic.
41
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:41,400
Also, okay, so I had a couple
free hours last night,
42
00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:43,067
I did some mock-ups
for the brochures--
43
00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:44,400
What about the kitty litter?
44
00:01:44,467 --> 00:01:46,133
Yeah, I thought I'd put
everything over--
45
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,100
I mean, is it organic?
Is it--
46
00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:51,733
I didn't know that
the kitty litter could be
organic as well.
47
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:52,933
Yeah.
48
00:01:53,067 --> 00:01:55,200
Well, I have enough
kitty litter for today,
49
00:01:55,267 --> 00:01:57,233
but please pick up some
tomorrow.
50
00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:58,433
First thing.
51
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:00,600
All right!
Rock star.
52
00:02:00,667 --> 00:02:02,333
Hey, Abs?
Ooh, yeah.
53
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,333
Did you get her moccasins back
from the cobbler?
54
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,333
Right, so the front pair,
55
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,467
they're still working
on the bead work,
56
00:02:07,533 --> 00:02:08,900
rear pair is all done.
57
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,700
Both sets should be
finished by the time
58
00:02:10,767 --> 00:02:13,067
Amanda's out of
the spa weekend.
59
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,367
You know what?
60
00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:15,733
I'm gonna call right now
and I'm gonna be like,
61
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,700
hey, guys, get your shit
together.
62
00:02:17,767 --> 00:02:18,900
Thank you.
63
00:02:18,967 --> 00:02:20,633
I love my new job.
64
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:25,100
(sighs)
65
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:26,567
Mm.
66
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:30,567
* Bye-bye to the prim
and the proper *
67
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,933
* Bye-bye to the pink and
the posture *
68
00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:34,333
* Ay yi yi *
69
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,933
* Bye-bye to everything
in time **
70
00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:43,200
(cell phone vibrating)
71
00:02:43,267 --> 00:02:44,833
Hello?
72
00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:48,233
Hey, I've got a package here for
Abbi Abrams at "Soul-stice,"
73
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,900
but they're telling me you
don't work here anymore, yo.
74
00:02:50,967 --> 00:02:54,600
Um, yeah.
No, I-- I'm at a new job.
75
00:02:54,667 --> 00:02:57,567
It must have been shipped to my
default address.
76
00:02:57,633 --> 00:02:59,733
Is there any way that you could
ship it to my new address?
77
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,933
Nah, I could have it destroyed
or taken
78
00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:04,200
to our distribution center on
North Brother Island.
79
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,800
No, no, no, no, no, please don't
do that, um...
80
00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:09,267
You know what? Leave it,
leave it, I will come
and get it.
81
00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:11,100
Okay.
Great.
82
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,933
(cell phone ringing)
83
00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:16,933
What up, my fellow
Ashkenazi Jew?
84
00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:18,067
Emergency, dude.
85
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,400
Okay, so I accidentally sent
a package
86
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,233
to Soulstice.
87
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:23,733
Ooh.
I know.
88
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:27,567
Can you do me a huge, huge favor
and go pick it up for me?
89
00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:29,367
I can't go back there.
90
00:03:29,433 --> 00:03:30,700
Why not? 'Cause you
crushed Trey
91
00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:32,433
and fully disrespected his
existence?
92
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,133
Or because you staged
your own
93
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,433
Publisher's Clearinghouse
at the gym?
94
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:37,567
Uh, it was Powerball,
but both.
95
00:03:37,633 --> 00:03:39,267
Oh, right.
96
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:41,967
Are you eating a baked potato?
97
00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:45,067
Well, it's cut in half,
so it's a lunch potato
and a dinner potato.
98
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,400
Mmm.
99
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:48,933
Anyway, I would go to Soulstice,
but I can't.
100
00:03:49,067 --> 00:03:51,367
I have that interview, finally,
that Jaime hooked me up with.
101
00:03:51,433 --> 00:03:53,200
So freakin' broke, dude.
102
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,600
So broke!
103
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:58,400
I guess I could make up a lie
and get out of work.
104
00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:00,067
Well, good luck, m' witch.
105
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,900
Keep me posted.
(kissing)
Bye.
106
00:04:07,167 --> 00:04:09,767
(musical flourish)
107
00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:13,500
(knocking)
108
00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:14,733
Hey, Dara.
109
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,133
Um...
110
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,867
I just found out my parents
are getting divorced.
111
00:04:18,933 --> 00:04:20,100
Wow.
112
00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:21,800
Yeah, um...
113
00:04:21,867 --> 00:04:23,233
Yeah, I--
114
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:27,267
I think I need to take an
emergency therapy session today.
115
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,167
Oh, like, now?
116
00:04:29,233 --> 00:04:30,800
Yeah, today.
All right.
117
00:04:30,867 --> 00:04:33,267
You go, take care of this.
Thank you.
118
00:04:33,333 --> 00:04:37,100
Thank you for being
so honest about your need
for mental help.
119
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:39,133
(softly)
Okay, great.
120
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,200
**
121
00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:48,767
Hello.
122
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:51,500
We're not open.
Get out.
123
00:04:51,567 --> 00:04:52,833
My name is Ilana Wexler.
124
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:55,067
I have an interview about
the waitressing job.
125
00:04:55,067 --> 00:04:57,600
Oh, you're friends with
the little Guatemalan boy.
126
00:04:57,667 --> 00:05:01,067
What are you, five-two?
127
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,633
Five-one-and-a-half.
128
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:04,467
I'm sorry.
129
00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:06,333
(sighs)
130
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,933
Okay.
131
00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:12,067
So you waited tables in...
Long Island?
132
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:15,600
Yes, but Dumper's Post
was way more sophisticated
than it sounds.
133
00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,733
I also served at
the Golden Heirloom,
134
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,333
a home for the elderly.
135
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,667
I would birdfeed them tapioca.
136
00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:22,567
Wait, stop.
Listen...
137
00:05:22,633 --> 00:05:23,967
The only way to make it
138
00:05:24,067 --> 00:05:25,900
in the world of Manhattan
restauranteries
139
00:05:25,967 --> 00:05:27,833
is to be a Kween of Mean.
140
00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:29,933
And I can already tell,
you don't have it.
141
00:05:30,067 --> 00:05:33,533
Look, why don't you go work in
a Connecticut Muffin, honey.
142
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,933
Oh, no.
143
00:05:35,067 --> 00:05:37,633
And when you turn into
a Conneti-cunt muffin,
144
00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:41,200
you can come back to
Sushi Mambeaux, okay?
145
00:05:41,267 --> 00:05:43,433
Great.
146
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,067
Be gone.
Get your shit.
147
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:46,267
Okay, all right.
148
00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:55,900
You know what?
149
00:05:55,967 --> 00:05:58,100
You're a general manager
at a restaurant
150
00:05:58,167 --> 00:05:59,733
with a B health grade,
151
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,267
so maybe you wanna drop
the fuckin' attitude.
152
00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:05,167
And just because
"Sex & the City" filmed here
153
00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:07,067
25 years ago one time,
154
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,833
doesn't mean that I need this,
155
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:12,067
so fuck you and your
Manhattan restauranteries.
156
00:06:15,233 --> 00:06:16,533
You're hired.
157
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:20,400
(softly)
Just get in and get out.
158
00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:21,667
Hey, um...
159
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:22,900
I'm looking for a package.
160
00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,767
This isn't a post office.
161
00:06:24,833 --> 00:06:26,733
This is a gym for people
to work out.
162
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,600
Yeah, I know what a gym is.
163
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,267
Can you just look for
a package for Abbi?
164
00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:38,367
I used to work here.
My name is Abbi Abrams.
165
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,833
Piece of work.
166
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:45,233
No, I wouldn't recommend
steroids for you yet.
Shit.
167
00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:46,600
But...
Jesus.
168
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,100
We'll see where we wanna go.
169
00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:49,800
You wanna get really big, where
you can lift a dancer,
170
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:52,200
we might think about it.
171
00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:53,367
Okay.
172
00:06:53,433 --> 00:06:54,767
Nice grip, Shania.
173
00:06:54,833 --> 00:06:56,067
You're getting strong.
174
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,633
Forearm's good.
175
00:06:57,700 --> 00:06:58,833
Shania Twain!
176
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,867
Hey.
Ilana, it's me.
177
00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:07,367
Okay, I'm at Soulstice,
178
00:07:07,433 --> 00:07:10,267
and you will never guess who is
training here today.
179
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:15,067
Canadian queen of country pop,
Shania Twain, dude!
180
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,267
Okay, cool.
181
00:07:17,833 --> 00:07:20,367
Ilana.
182
00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:21,933
(cell phone vibrating)
Yes?
183
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,367
Hey, I think you have bad
service, 'cause it just--
184
00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:25,867
No, I-- I hung up on you.
185
00:07:25,933 --> 00:07:28,067
Dude, you cannot keep lying
about this Shania shit.
186
00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:29,800
It's getting weird.
187
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:32,067
She is here.
I just saw her.
188
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:33,733
Abbi, you're a fucking liar.
189
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,600
Whoa, Ilana, Jesus.
190
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:38,233
Sorry, I'm training for my new
job as a bitch waitress,
191
00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:39,733
and I'm getting
really good at it.
192
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,067
But listen, you lied to quit
Soulstice,
193
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:43,667
you lied to get out of work
today,
194
00:07:43,733 --> 00:07:46,700
and your most egregious lie was
Shania, 'cause that was to me.
195
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:49,333
You're my pretty little liar
and that's the truth.
196
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,367
Okay, well, you know what?
197
00:07:51,433 --> 00:07:52,833
I'm gonna prove it to you.
198
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:53,967
I'm going back in.
199
00:07:54,067 --> 00:07:55,633
I hope you mean go to therapy,
200
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,167
'cause this lie is getting
tragic.
201
00:07:57,233 --> 00:07:58,167
Love you.
202
00:07:58,233 --> 00:07:59,667
Yeah, I love you, too!
203
00:07:59,733 --> 00:08:00,733
God.
204
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,567
This is so hard.
205
00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:05,333
Okay, we're just warming up
your wrist, Shania.
206
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,733
You got this, all right?
207
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:07,967
Okay, okay, okay--
208
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:09,833
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
My wrist, my wrist, my wrist!
209
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:11,667
Hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what's going on over here?
210
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:17,067
This lady was trying to take
a picture of Shania.
211
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,767
Oh.
212
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,467
At ease, Maria.
213
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:22,733
Thanks.
214
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,900
Shania, take five.
How about 15?
215
00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:26,400
I'm gonna hit the smoothie bar.
216
00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:29,300
* Man, I feel like
a smoothie *
217
00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:31,967
Okay, Trey, I can explain
what's happening.
218
00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:33,867
No, I know why you're here.
219
00:08:33,933 --> 00:08:35,367
Closure.
220
00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:36,967
You came to talk about what
happened with us.
221
00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:42,067
No, I-- I accidentally sent
a package to the front desk.
222
00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:43,667
Yeah.
Oh.
223
00:08:43,733 --> 00:08:46,567
But, Trey, I texted you a bunch
of times and you didn't respond,
224
00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:50,233
so I just figured that you did
not want to see me again.
225
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:52,633
I just wasn't ready
to talk yet.
226
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:56,900
But before I knew it, you quit
'cause you "won Powerball."
227
00:08:58,367 --> 00:09:01,167
I didn't win Powerball.
228
00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:03,167
Yeah, I know,
that's why I did this.
229
00:09:03,233 --> 00:09:04,767
They're called air quotes.
230
00:09:04,833 --> 00:09:06,067
Does everybody know?
231
00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:07,900
I think so, air quotes
are pretty big now.
232
00:09:07,967 --> 00:09:11,933
Okay, well, listen, I'm-- I'm
trying to be a better person now
233
00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:14,800
and that's why, actually,
I was taking the secret
pics of Shania.
234
00:09:14,867 --> 00:09:18,067
Oh, Abbi, I think that
headlock really messed you up.
235
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:19,633
No, okay.
236
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,867
I have been lying about training
Shania Twain for, like, years.
237
00:09:22,933 --> 00:09:25,633
And I was just trying to prove
that she was here
238
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:28,167
and then it would be true or
something, I don't know.
239
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:30,600
I mean, just let me
take one pic.
240
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:31,800
Abbi!
241
00:09:31,867 --> 00:09:33,733
Okay, Trey, just listen.
242
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,267
Let me...
243
00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:37,933
train her with you, okay?
244
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:39,167
I could be your Goose.
245
00:09:39,233 --> 00:09:41,700
Do not bring up
"Top Gun" right now.
246
00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:44,467
I need to be honest now.
Let me--
247
00:09:44,533 --> 00:09:47,200
Just let me do this, please.
248
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,400
(sighs)
249
00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:52,567
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
250
00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,967
but okay, you can
train her with me.
251
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:59,700
But I gotta warn you, she has
a naturally gorgeous body,
252
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,433
incredible genes, so she does
not like to work out.
253
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,333
It is a real challenge.
254
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,800
I knew "Top Gun" would work.
255
00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:12,733
Don't expect anyone
to learn your name.
256
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:13,900
That's Parker.
257
00:10:13,967 --> 00:10:15,367
I call him Mini-Me,
258
00:10:15,433 --> 00:10:18,233
because he wants
to be me so bad.
259
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,667
That's Kara.
I call her The Wall.
260
00:10:20,733 --> 00:10:21,700
Drake texts her.
261
00:10:21,767 --> 00:10:23,767
She doesn't text back.
(sighs)
262
00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:24,867
That's Owen.
263
00:10:24,933 --> 00:10:26,167
I call him Valtrex.
264
00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:27,367
He has herpes.
265
00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:29,067
No shade,
most people have herpes.
266
00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,433
That's Brenda.
267
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,633
She doesn't have a nickname,
wouldn't allow it.
268
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:35,100
Seniority.
She came with the building.
269
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:39,833
So if you're the right fit,
your nickname will find you.
270
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:43,300
I'm putting you in
section eight tonight.
271
00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:46,300
And one last thing.
272
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:47,833
Don't fuck it up.
273
00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:52,800
You got it.
You got it, man.
274
00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,833
Hey, Shania, this is--
Abbi.
275
00:11:03,633 --> 00:11:06,533
Hi...
Shania Twain.
276
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,633
Hi.
277
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,600
You have no idea
how many times
278
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,367
I have said that this
has happened.
279
00:11:11,433 --> 00:11:13,100
Okay! Let's work out.
280
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:15,633
All right?
Let's go, girls.
281
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:17,233
All right, strong core, nice.
282
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:18,567
Mm-hmm.
283
00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:20,467
Great, you look--
It looks great, Shania.
284
00:11:20,533 --> 00:11:22,233
Great. Keep those hips
back. Nice.
285
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,233
Can we stop?
286
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:27,467
I just-- Honestly, I want to go
home and watch "Friends."
287
00:11:27,533 --> 00:11:29,967
Oh, I love "Friends."
Oh, I love "Friends."
288
00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,700
I'm such a Chandler.
289
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:33,467
I'm such a Ross.
Total Rachel.
290
00:11:33,533 --> 00:11:35,233
A little Gunther, also.
291
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,333
Oh, I'm a little bit Phoebe.
292
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,700
(clears throat)
293
00:11:37,767 --> 00:11:39,900
Trey, you have to do
the Ross impression.
294
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,100
No...
Please.
295
00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,400
No.
Come on, I wanna see it.
296
00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:45,433
If you do it,
I'll do the climber.
297
00:11:47,567 --> 00:11:49,433
(imitating Ross)
Uh, uh, uh, uh...
298
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,667
Fine by me!
299
00:11:50,733 --> 00:11:52,467
Ha ha!
300
00:11:52,533 --> 00:11:54,167
Hmm.
You know what?
301
00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:57,200
You owe me a stair climber,
so let's move, okay?
302
00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:58,733
Yeah, you owe us a climber!
303
00:11:58,800 --> 00:11:59,800
(Trey)
Come on.
304
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,767
What's the petit uni?
305
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:04,067
Oh.
306
00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:06,233
If you have to ask, it's
probably not for you-ni.
307
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:09,900
(chuckles)
No, I know.
308
00:12:09,967 --> 00:12:11,367
We'll have eight.
309
00:12:11,433 --> 00:12:13,800
I'm so sorry,
we do not accept Medicaid.
310
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,333
How dare you?!
311
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,367
We want your most expensive
entrees.
312
00:12:17,433 --> 00:12:20,800
Did you two take the bridge or
the tunnel to get here today?
313
00:12:20,867 --> 00:12:21,800
Ugh!
314
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,600
My dad owns H&M.
315
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:26,067
We'll take one of everything,
you whore.
316
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:28,600
Played you, bitch.
317
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,900
Mmm, oh, God, what are you
doing?
318
00:12:33,967 --> 00:12:35,433
This isn't you!
319
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,400
You lift people up, you don't
tear them down!
320
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:40,633
Hm.
321
00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:43,633
Right.
322
00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,400
Yeah.
323
00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:48,067
Yeah, that's right!
324
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:49,567
(kisses)
325
00:12:51,467 --> 00:12:53,333
Marcel, um...
326
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,300
I'm really struggling
to be mean.
327
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:56,900
This just isn't me.
328
00:12:56,967 --> 00:12:58,267
Wow.
329
00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:00,800
I... I have to quit.
330
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,867
Oh, you dropped your scarf.
331
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:04,967
Oh, my old knees.
332
00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:09,533
Brenda, oh, my God,
I'm so sorry!
333
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:10,867
Don't touch me!
334
00:13:10,933 --> 00:13:13,100
Oh, why, why?
335
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,267
Why me?!
336
00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:16,500
Oh!
337
00:13:16,567 --> 00:13:18,600
Brenda, I'm so sorry!
338
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:21,833
You did it on purpose,
you bitch!
339
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:25,333
(Brenda moaning)
340
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,900
You almost had me fooled.
341
00:13:26,967 --> 00:13:29,433
Marcel, no, it was
an accident, obviously.
342
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:31,367
Doing bodily harm...
343
00:13:31,433 --> 00:13:33,567
Please-- Come on,
I didn't-- Not--
344
00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:35,800
You a regular Tonya Harding.
345
00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:38,700
I think we found your nickname.
346
00:13:38,767 --> 00:13:39,933
Oh!
347
00:13:40,067 --> 00:13:41,533
Other Tonya.
348
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,733
Perfect.
Get away from me.
349
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,267
Strap on your strap-on,
lace up your skates,
350
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:50,200
'cause it's time to dance.
351
00:13:50,267 --> 00:13:54,267
I'm upgrading you...
352
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,433
to section two.
353
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,367
Fine, I'm in.
354
00:13:57,433 --> 00:14:00,967
But this time...
355
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:03,100
I'm doing it my way.
356
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:07,800
All right, we're gonna finish up
with some bungee flies.
357
00:14:07,867 --> 00:14:09,133
You wanna demo?
Yeah, okay.
358
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,867
Step in, step in.
359
00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:13,900
You kinda do
a little squat here.
360
00:14:13,967 --> 00:14:15,200
Uhh!
361
00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:17,233
And you just crunch it up
like this.
362
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,933
Um...
Full body--
363
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,133
Abbi, you know what?
364
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,133
Let me do that.
Let's switch up.
365
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,067
I just think seeing it
from this angle might be,
366
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,733
a little bit, ahem, safer.
367
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,700
So you're gonna keep your feet
shoulder-width apart.
368
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:30,267
Squeeze your arms together.
369
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,167
Really squeezing that chest,
okay?
370
00:14:32,233 --> 00:14:34,067
Squeeze and hold.
371
00:14:34,133 --> 00:14:35,933
Squeeze and hold.
372
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:37,267
Get some blood flowing.
373
00:14:37,333 --> 00:14:38,800
Nice and fast then.
374
00:14:38,867 --> 00:14:40,200
You feel it?
I feel it.
375
00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:41,267
You feel that pump?
I feel it.
376
00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:43,067
Oh, Shania! Hey!
Shania!
377
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,600
Shania...
Twain.
378
00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:46,167
We're gonna cool down.
Ready for a cool-down?
379
00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,433
Stretch.
Yeah?
380
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,200
And be cool.
Yeah, let's stretch you out.
381
00:14:49,267 --> 00:14:50,467
We're gonna do an assisted
scorpion stretch,
382
00:14:50,533 --> 00:14:51,800
so why don't you
hop on the mat?
383
00:14:51,867 --> 00:14:54,100
I forgot how to do that.
384
00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:56,100
Why don't the two of you
show me?
385
00:14:56,167 --> 00:14:58,633
Sure. Um, Abbi, you wanna...
386
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:02,067
hop on the mat there, and I'll
just stretch you out.
387
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,133
Just totally...
388
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,067
Okay.
Um...
389
00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:08,133
I know that's your go-to, but
it's actually on your back.
390
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,467
Totally.
391
00:15:09,533 --> 00:15:11,733
So you're gonna get down
on your back, face up.
392
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,300
On your back, on your back.
393
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:15,200
We're just gonna do a nice
stretch of your hamstrings
394
00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:18,067
and your glutes, so just...
395
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:19,933
You're gonna want to breathe
into the stretch.
396
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,100
Breathe in deep.
397
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,367
You feel that?
Yeah, I feel it.
398
00:15:22,433 --> 00:15:23,867
Okay.
399
00:15:23,933 --> 00:15:25,133
Okay.
Okay.
400
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:26,333
Okay.
All right.
401
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,567
Is that good?
Yeah, that's good.
402
00:15:27,633 --> 00:15:29,900
Hot.
Oh, my gosh, Shania, Shania!
403
00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:31,133
Okay.
404
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,800
I'm just gonna go use
the bathroom
405
00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:33,833
and I'll be right back, okay?
406
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,067
BRB.
407
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,067
Uh, Shania, let's, uh...
Let's dish.
408
00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:39,200
Oh, okay.
409
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:46,233
So, what's going on between
you two co-eds anyway?
410
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,767
What do you mean?
411
00:15:47,833 --> 00:15:49,067
I mean sex.
412
00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:51,067
Not all Canadians are prudes,
you know.
413
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:52,533
Yeah.
414
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,600
Okay, we had a thing, for sure,
but it's-- it's over.
415
00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:58,067
You're lying.
416
00:15:58,133 --> 00:15:59,567
What?
I can tell.
417
00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:04,367
Listen, I'm a maker of love
songs, a chanteuse.
418
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:08,267
I can smell that there's
chemistry between you guys.
419
00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:11,067
When there's a spark,
you gotta ride it.
420
00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:12,733
Yeah.
421
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,833
Damn, that's a good lyric.
422
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:22,667
* When there's a spark,
you gotta ride it *
423
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:27,467
* Oh, when you're in love,
don't hide it *
424
00:16:27,533 --> 00:16:29,900
* Ooh! *
425
00:16:29,967 --> 00:16:31,633
Fuck, I'm good.
426
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,100
Trey.
Abbi...
427
00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:41,400
Um...
428
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:42,567
Say it.
429
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:44,067
Abbi, we can't do this again.
430
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:46,333
Say it, Trey.
Just say it once.
431
00:16:47,933 --> 00:16:49,133
Bazinga.
432
00:16:53,633 --> 00:16:56,467
You're a good witch,
not a bad witch.
433
00:16:56,533 --> 00:16:58,700
Can I interest anybody
in a cognake?
434
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:01,233
This is a cognac and sake
cocktail.
435
00:17:01,300 --> 00:17:02,467
Is it good?
436
00:17:02,533 --> 00:17:04,633
Your eyes are stunning.
437
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:06,167
Oh!
438
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,267
I'll take it.
439
00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:08,767
With that body, please.
440
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:10,900
You could use a little more
cushion for the pushin'.
441
00:17:10,967 --> 00:17:12,100
You're right.
442
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:13,733
We'll have three wasabi
soufflés.
443
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,167
What y'all gonna have?
(all laughing)
444
00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:18,333
Ah, bon soir.
445
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,800
(all laughing)
446
00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:22,300
Are you guys high on weed?
447
00:17:23,567 --> 00:17:27,067
I'm getting you 17 spicy
escargot wontons, stat.
448
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,767
Thank you so much, Tim Foil.
(kisses)
449
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:36,167
I don't like what the new girl's
done with this space.
450
00:17:36,233 --> 00:17:37,467
We gotta go somewhere else.
451
00:17:37,533 --> 00:17:38,500
I'm-- I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
Trey.
452
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:39,700
Okay, okay.
Yeah. Okay.
453
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:40,767
All right.
All right.
454
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,300
(toilet flushing)
455
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,067
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
456
00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:48,100
This is triggering, we gotta go
somewhere else, this is gross.
457
00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:49,800
Oh, okay.
Okay. All right.
458
00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:50,800
Oh.
459
00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:52,967
Well, Other Tonya,
460
00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:55,433
looks like you skipped the gold
and went straight for the green.
461
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,067
I didn't even have to be mean.
462
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,067
I made $800.
463
00:17:59,133 --> 00:18:01,833
Con-drag-ulations.
464
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:02,933
Okay, y'all.
465
00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:04,767
I'm off to bring
the leftover food
466
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,933
to the homeless of
New York City.
467
00:18:07,067 --> 00:18:10,067
Marcel, that's unbelievable,
that is so sweet.
468
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:11,400
J-K, Miss Thing.
469
00:18:11,467 --> 00:18:13,233
I'm going to a party at
Andy Cohen's place.
470
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,400
See you hookers tomorrow.
471
00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:15,833
Bye, Marcel.
472
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:17,633
Good night, Dad.
473
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:21,133
What'd you say?
474
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,967
Well, the reason why
I took this job
475
00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:27,200
was because I wanted to
reconnect with my fa--
476
00:18:27,267 --> 00:18:28,733
Bye, guys.
Taxi!
477
00:18:36,433 --> 00:18:40,067
* They said I bet... *
478
00:18:40,133 --> 00:18:41,700
Oh!
Ow, ow, ow! Oh, my dick!
479
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:43,700
Oh, ow.
I think I broke my dick.
480
00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:46,267
Okay.
Okay, uh, uh, Shania!
481
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,700
You call--
Can you call 9-1-1?
482
00:18:48,767 --> 00:18:51,400
Yeah, his dick is
definitely broken.
483
00:18:51,467 --> 00:18:53,167
I'll figure it out.
484
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,900
It's your standard penile
fracture.
485
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:57,067
We may have to operate.
486
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:58,700
Sorry, man.
487
00:18:58,767 --> 00:18:59,500
Ma'am?
488
00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:01,267
No, no, I said man.
489
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,233
Oh.
Okay, cool, thanks, Doctor.
490
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:05,300
Oh, I'm not a doctor.
491
00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:08,367
Okay.
492
00:19:10,167 --> 00:19:11,500
Trey, I am so, so sorry.
493
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,633
No, come on,
it's not your fault.
494
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:16,767
No, I shouldn't have come in
today, this was a mistake.
495
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,267
Are you kidding?
496
00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:19,333
I'm so glad you came back.
497
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:20,833
Yeah?
498
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:23,200
We should have kept it like
this, you know? Physical.
499
00:19:23,267 --> 00:19:26,200
Yeah, well, when there's a
spark, you gotta ride it.
500
00:19:26,267 --> 00:19:28,133
I mean, who knows?
501
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,067
I think we do know, Abbi.
502
00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:32,667
I mean, you're not the
relationship type, right?
503
00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:36,800
Yeah, totally.
504
00:19:36,867 --> 00:19:37,867
Yeah.
505
00:19:37,933 --> 00:19:39,533
You're single Abbi,
and that's cool.
506
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,800
Independent woman.
507
00:19:41,867 --> 00:19:43,667
Respect, mad respect.
508
00:19:43,733 --> 00:19:45,200
Yeah.
509
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,800
Good-bye, Abbi.
510
00:19:46,867 --> 00:19:48,067
Bye, Trey.
511
00:19:54,433 --> 00:19:56,633
Wheel me off.
512
00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:04,433
Hey.
Hey.
513
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:07,333
Mike? Mike.
514
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,067
Yeah.
515
00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:12,167
Let me get your number.
Okay.
516
00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:14,900
'Cause I am
a relationship gal.
517
00:20:14,967 --> 00:20:16,767
Fully.
518
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,967
This one is Shania's feet
under the bathroom stall.
519
00:20:25,033 --> 00:20:26,700
She wasn't even peeing.
520
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,700
She was just watching
an episode of "Scandal."
521
00:20:28,767 --> 00:20:31,167
Congratulations.
You trained Shania.
522
00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:32,633
I know.
523
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:37,400
I'm really feeling like
honesty is the best policy.
524
00:20:37,467 --> 00:20:41,133
It's the foundation of
any long-term relationship,
you know?
525
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,500
Ours?
526
00:20:42,567 --> 00:20:44,700
Yeah, totally.
527
00:20:44,767 --> 00:20:46,567
But I was talking about
Mike and I.
528
00:20:46,633 --> 00:20:48,067
Who?
529
00:20:48,133 --> 00:20:51,133
Mike, the paramedic I met
tonight, who I'm now dating.
530
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,167
Total--
Totally.
Yeah.
531
00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:55,733
You know,
I am pretty impressed
532
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,967
what a four-year supply
of Plan B yields.
533
00:20:59,033 --> 00:21:00,767
You need it, we have it.
Incredible.
534
00:21:00,833 --> 00:21:02,300
If I need it, we have it.
535
00:21:02,367 --> 00:21:05,167
And if we ever have any other
female friends,
536
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:07,267
we will give it to them.
It's available to them.
Yeah.
537
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,767
Okay, I won't.
And I'll--
538
00:21:17,833 --> 00:21:19,233
I'll move and it'll really
break your dick off.
539
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:20,600
All right, I won't do it.
What?
540
00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:22,767
If I move right now, I have
total control.
541
00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:24,833
Shh, okay.
You got it.
542
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:26,633
You win.
36855
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