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1
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:13,581
**
2
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:46,414
(woman)
Ohh... ah!
3
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,150
(man)
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
4
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,420
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah,
oh yeah.
5
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:55,589
(man)
Yeah.
6
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:59,327
Oh yeah, oh, unh.
7
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,229
Oh...
8
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,131
Unh...
9
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:04,498
Ah...
Mmm...
10
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,701
Yeah, that's a nice
beach ball...
11
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,138
Oh, yeah, uh...
12
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:11,905
(gasping)
13
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:14,908
Uh... uh....
oh...
14
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,144
Trey.
15
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,246
* Four and three and two
and one-one **
16
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,590
You weren't eating those
fries, were you?
17
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,692
Mm-mm.
Good, 'cause they're from
last night.
18
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,161
Someone left them on
the floor in the bathroom.
19
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,563
Head shot?
20
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,331
Uh, um...
21
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,699
You know, I don't have
a head shot.
22
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,568
But I have
a resume, so&
23
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,069
Yeah, I don't need
to see that.
24
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,372
All right, I'll just
Cliff Notes it for you then.
25
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:47,275
Uh, so I currently work
at a gym.
26
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:48,742
Upscale gym.
(sipping loudly)
27
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,378
Uh, long-term,
I'm an illustrator,
28
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,313
visual artist--
Just let me cut
you off right there.
29
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,648
This job, it's
putting wristbands on people.
30
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:55,949
Honestly, a (bleep) idiot
could do it.
31
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,186
Oh, I'm a-I'm a huge
(bleep) idiot.
32
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:00,321
Yeah, I'm sorry,
I just don't think
33
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,889
you're wristband
material.
34
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:04,658
I'm cleaning pubes
for a living right now, so&
35
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:05,893
I'm sorry, Daphne.
36
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,295
If you could just
send the next person in
37
00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:09,597
that'd be great.
You're gonna rue the day that
you said--
38
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:10,931
Okay.
I'm sure.
39
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,370
You're up.
40
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,539
(phone vibrating)
41
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:20,808
Hi.
42
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:21,675
What's wrong, do you need
me to come get you?
43
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:22,943
No.
44
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,578
I'm just going to be digging out
other people's pubes
45
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,079
till I'm
a great-grandmother.
46
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:27,315
We'll see about that.
47
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:28,649
Meet me
at the coffee shop.
48
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,451
I have
a job opportunity.
49
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,952
Amber alert.
50
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:32,986
Urgency.
(phone beeping off)
51
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,121
Hello?
52
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:36,957
What coffee shop, what
time, what?
53
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,359
Never any details.
54
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:42,296
I'm so sorry,
I had to take that.
55
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:45,533
You made that call in
the middle of our conversation.
56
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:46,734
Did I?
57
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,870
So I was
asking, how's university?
58
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:51,505
College?
59
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,973
It-- It was expensive.
60
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:54,041
Wonderful.
61
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,709
Okay, here's a list of
your instructions
62
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:57,378
for your
Saturday with Oliver.
63
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:59,913
Now Oliver can't have any
soy products,
64
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,916
so you know, when in doubt,
just go to Babbo or Nobu
65
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,452
or Momofuku.
Yes.
66
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:07,921
Yolo, Fomo, Tippy-tee.
67
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,324
(chuckling)
You are so funny.
68
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:12,360
Oh, but Ilana, please...
69
00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,262
don't get
him a slice again.
70
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:15,329
Apologies.
71
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,930
There's $300
on the counter.
72
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,267
Let Oliver hold it,
he needs to learn.
73
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,002
Okay, bye, Ollie.
74
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,337
Bye, Mommy.
75
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:26,006
I love you,
you are my sweet treasure.
76
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,408
I'm off to interview
Desi Tutu
77
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,610
and wax
with Martha Plimpton.
78
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:30,944
What a bad bitch.
79
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,413
Ilana, look.
80
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:36,016
Holy moly,
that is increds!
81
00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,985
Good job, whew!
82
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,288
So how are you?
83
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,623
How "am" I?
84
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,858
Good God, bwah.
85
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,027
Last time I saw you,
you were a toothless spud
86
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,396
sitting in your
own poop.
87
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,898
(chuckling)
I like when you babysit.
88
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:53,033
(Ilana)
Four Rs, my friend.
89
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,669
Reduce, re-use,
recycle, Rhianna!
90
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,638
I'm sorry, ma'am,
we can't reuse cups.
91
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,307
It's a health code
violation.
92
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:00,574
Come on.
93
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,711
This is so gross.
94
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,047
Finally-- Ab, Ab.
95
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,181
Nice to
meet you, Abbi.
96
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,117
I've heard so much
about you.
97
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,585
What are you,
on the campaign trail?
98
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,086
Oliver, you're a child.
99
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,323
Give her a full-bodied hug
and mean it.
100
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,324
Okay.
101
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,126
I mean it.
I mean it too.
102
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,363
Juice, my man.
103
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:23,964
Stand guard.
104
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:26,767
So, uh, this kid's
parents know
105
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,336
that you're
watching him, right?
106
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,470
Yes-uh.
107
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,605
I'm doing more than
"watching" him.
108
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:32,973
I am molding him.
109
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,809
Oliver is at a tipping point
right now, okay?
110
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,145
If I didn't step in,
he could go to Yale.
111
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:41,415
And then Yale Law
and then kill a stripper
112
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:42,583
and settle out
of court.
113
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:45,686
Jesus, Ilana, he's
an innocent little boy.
114
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,055
Yeah, for now...
115
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,457
but if I don't do
something,
116
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:53,494
he could turn into another
useless rich old white man.
117
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:54,962
Hm.
118
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,397
Why am I
here right now?
119
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,099
Okay, all business,
getting to it.
120
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:02,870
Ilana, I'm not
watching porn in here.
121
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,773
First of all, everybody's
watching porn in here.
122
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,510
Okay?
123
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:10,578
You got it?
124
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:13,947
Second of all, you need
to trust me because
125
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,518
you're about to experience
the best moment of your life.
126
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,821
Okay, so I need to retrace my
porn steps first.
127
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,491
I don't watch
anything but solo porn
128
00:05:23,591 --> 00:05:24,792
because regular porn
is like,
129
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:29,096
"Shut up, little girl,
wash my feet!"
130
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,165
And she's like,
"Uh, don't tell my dad, okay?
131
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,635
'Cause I'm just
barely legal.
132
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:39,740
I love shaved pubes and tan,
crispy bellies and tits."
133
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,074
It's like, ugh.
134
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,777
So I started
with average-size penis jerk.
135
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,980
Of course.
That led me
to twins squirting, hello.
136
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,584
Which then brought me to frosted
tips masturbation.
137
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,053
(sighing)
138
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,456
Whoa, I just usually
Google "porn".
139
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,090
That's probably
why I really, really
140
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,459
don't like most
of it.
141
00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:00,894
Um, I don't know,
maybe you should just
142
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,162
check your search
history.
143
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:04,532
Oh my God, uh-doi.
144
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,635
Oh my God,
get ready, bitch.
145
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,237
(moaning)
(chuckling)
146
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,272
Oh my God.
147
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,974
Oh...
148
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:15,443
my...
149
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:16,644
God.
150
00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,178
Trey is
in a porn!
151
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,748
Kirk Steele?
152
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:22,583
Hold on, Ilana.
(bleep)
153
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:25,486
So before Trey was my
boss, he was a porn star?
154
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:29,657
So, so I'm taking orders
from a porn star.
(laughing)
155
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,459
I can't
even believe this.
156
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:32,560
What do I even do
with this?
157
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,462
I don't know
what to do with this?
158
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:37,297
Use it, bitch.
159
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:40,634
Oh, yeah.
160
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,070
(humming)
161
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,505
(Trey)
Abbi?
162
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:45,606
There you are.
163
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,374
I'm always looking
for you, I love it.
164
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:50,778
(English accent)
So there's a bloody (bleep)
spill in the spin studio.
165
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,280
(chuckling)
But really, there's
a bloody (bleep) spill
166
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,182
in the spin studio.
Oh, is there?
167
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,250
Next level, yeah.
Oh.
168
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,254
And?
169
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,856
And I need
you to clean it.
170
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:06,494
Oh, I would, but I gotta
relax before I teach
171
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,129
the 12:30 kickass
kettle bell class.
172
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:10,798
What are you talking
about right now?
173
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:13,501
You know, I'm coming
down with something, I think.
174
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,335
There's a lot
of phlegm.
175
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,170
(clearing throat)
176
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,542
Whoa, that is a lot of
phlegm, isn't it?
177
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,711
Abbi, that trick
is for after hours, okay?
178
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,346
Oh, is it...
179
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:27,748
Kirk?
180
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,419
Let's go to your office
right now.
181
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,754
I don't
have an office.
182
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:36,557
**
183
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,825
Get in.
184
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:41,529
Trey, this isn't
my office.
185
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:43,030
Yeah, it is, all your
stuff's in here.
186
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,898
This is your snake
and your cardigan.
187
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,534
All right, you got your tweezer
and your tweezing mirror.
188
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:47,835
No one
else uses this.
189
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:50,203
This is a picture of you and
your childhood pug, all right?
190
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,374
Fine, it's
my (bleep) office.
191
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,776
Abbi,
when you said,
192
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,546
"Kirk Steele: A Man on
a Mission, A (bleep) Mission",
193
00:07:58,612 --> 00:07:59,947
what did you mean?
194
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,782
Well, I just said
"Kirk",
195
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,984
but you have now confirmed
that you are a porn star.
196
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,019
Thank you
for calling me a star.
197
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,454
But Abbi, you can't tell
anyone, all right?
198
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:08,789
I'll get fired.
199
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,658
Please, Abbi,
you gotta swear.
200
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:13,661
What do you want,
money?
No.
201
00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:15,462
I'll go down on you
right now.
No, what?
202
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:16,797
No.
203
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:20,300
I want to teach the 12:30
kickass kettle bell class.
204
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,902
We can start there.
That's Gemma's class.
205
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,070
I don't care.
206
00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,706
Look, can't I just go
down on you?
No, stop it.
207
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,141
I think it would be
in your best interest...
208
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,242
Kirk.
209
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,079
Yes, looking good.
210
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,047
Whoo,
my man, yes!
211
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,215
All right, guys,
what's up?
212
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:36,249
My name is Abbi.
213
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,885
I'm going to be your
trainer today.
214
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:38,786
This is
a joke shirt.
215
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,053
Cool.
216
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,622
All right, I'm going to show you
guys how it's done first
217
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:44,958
and remember,
form is essential!
218
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:45,993
Okay.
219
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:48,228
(shattering)
220
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,471
Get back
in your office.
221
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,609
I don't know what
just happened with my body.
222
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,611
It's like I literally have
zero upper body strength.
223
00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:04,745
Abbi...
224
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,614
that mirror cost $1400
without installation.
225
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:09,282
Okay, don't accidents happen
all the time in the gym?
226
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,417
Can't the gym just
pay for it?
227
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:11,885
I can't report this
to corporate, Abbi.
228
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,320
You're not
an authorized instructor.
229
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,455
Okay, well, I'll
just take the blame.
230
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,124
I mean, I (bleep)
this up.
231
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,826
Yeah, but I let
you teach the class, Abbi.
232
00:09:18,926 --> 00:09:20,794
It's taken me four
years to get where I am,
233
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,429
but they're going to fire
me for this in a second.
234
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,697
Please, Abbi, I have
a kid.
235
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,298
What, you do?
Probably!
236
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,534
I mean, a paternity suit
could pop up at any time.
Ugh, okay.
237
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:29,970
What do we do?
238
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,438
Okay.
239
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:32,673
We gotta get $1400
240
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,475
and we gotta meet back here
tonight after closing.
241
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:36,810
We'll install
the mirror together.
242
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,945
I've done it
once before.
243
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,147
Listen, I don't have
700 bucks just lying around.
244
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,649
That's like a whole month's
rent for me.
245
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:43,016
Do you
have a webcam?
246
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:47,320
I never ride the subway.
247
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,356
Usually just Uber, but
sometimes--
248
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:52,826
Shh, Oliver, We don't talk
about Uber down here.
249
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,527
Let's play a game.
250
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,096
I want you to look
around
251
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,766
and find the most
disadvantaged person here
252
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,267
and then we'll give
them our seats.
253
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:01,334
Who do
you think it is?
254
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:05,272
It's you, Oliver.
255
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,907
Me?
Yes.
256
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:09,877
You are rich in money,
but poor in experience.
257
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,145
No, I'm poor.
258
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,246
I get the seat.
259
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,015
You are right,
that's right.
260
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,316
There you go.
261
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,152
Lesson learned,
Oliver.
262
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,721
Lesson,
uh, learned.
263
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:21,755
(throat clearing)
264
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:27,961
**
265
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,869
Okay, okay, Abbi,
think, come on.
266
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,270
$700, all right.
267
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:38,471
Come on, here we go.
268
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:40,941
Come on.
269
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,442
(breathing deeply)
270
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,011
Sell mushroom chocolates!
271
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:45,746
No, I can't do that.
272
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:46,613
Can't get back in
the game.
273
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:47,781
Just got
my record expunged.
274
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:48,816
Okay.
275
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,187
(bleep), this
is really warped!
276
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:58,926
**
277
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,971
(breathing deeply)
Ask my parents for money.
278
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,940
No, they think
I'm a successful artist.
279
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:17,344
Art!
280
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,746
Sell my art!
281
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,848
It's brilliant,
but no one understands it.
282
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,085
Sell my clothes.
283
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,519
I get compliments.
284
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,758
Beacon's Closet!
285
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,762
Sell my art
and my clothes!
286
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,463
Yes!
287
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,564
Oh God.
288
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:38,966
You ever
been to Brooklyn?
289
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,433
No.
290
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,668
You ever been
to Queens?
291
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:43,503
No.
Do you ever
been to Long Island?
292
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:44,872
Hamptons.
293
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,374
Ooh, she
does not look happy.
294
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:48,541
Hi.
295
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,045
Clothes.
296
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,146
Hi.
297
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:55,949
How's it going?
298
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,351
Could you, uh,
wait over there?
299
00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,187
Yeah. Okay.
For a minute?
300
00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,321
All right.
Thank you.
301
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,457
Good luck,
give it your all.
302
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:08,428
That one's so pretty,
my mom got it for me.
303
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,399
Well, you know, it smells like
fresh detergent, right?
304
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:16,904
Oh, that skirt's one
of my favorite pieces.
305
00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,371
Um, I got it when I
thought I was gonna
306
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,873
study abroad
in Copenhagen,
307
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:22,709
but tags are on it, so,
oh, yes, okay.
308
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:26,179
Okay.
309
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,885
Doesn't feel so good,
does it?
310
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,954
It's so
much harder to walk.
311
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,488
But honestly, your legs
look amazing.
312
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,891
As well as my tukas?
313
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:41,962
(giggling)
It's tucchus, but I am
loving it, brother.
314
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,565
Oh, I saw a denim jacket
like that
315
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:47,100
on "Who Wore It Best?"
316
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,836
Leighton Meester
wore it best.
So that's it?
317
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,838
There's nothing left?
318
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,172
Um, yeah, just all this
great stuff.
319
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,173
Hmmm...
320
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,608
I like
this apothecary bag.
321
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,944
It's interesting.
322
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,378
Oh, that
was my aunt's.
323
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,113
Um, she wa-she was
a flight attendant.
324
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,548
She died
in that plane crash.
325
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,750
It was terrible over
the midwest.
So sad.
326
00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:08,288
I can give you store credit
for $195 or $20 cash.
327
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:16,997
All right.
328
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,032
All right, I'll take-
I'll take the cash.
329
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,071
Mmm, that'll
be 35 bucks, babe.
330
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,438
What a bargain!
331
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:29,877
**
332
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,711
Celebrity's favorite foods.
333
00:13:31,879 --> 00:13:33,646
Original pieces,
people!
334
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,714
Bitch's gotta
buy a mirror here.
335
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:35,916
Come on, come on!
336
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,450
I did it, Ilana.
337
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,786
I gave all the clothes
to the homeless people.
Whoo!
338
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:40,888
Good job, bud.
339
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,255
Originals.
340
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:45,525
Tapas.
341
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,294
I'm into them.
342
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:48,428
How about two?
343
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:49,897
I mean,
they're 40 bucks.
344
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,432
But I'm feeling really
great right now.
345
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,266
I'm in a great mood.
346
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:54,634
I'll give you two
for $60.
347
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,403
Love it.
Well, I meant $2.00.
348
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:57,504
We'll take it.
No way.
349
00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:58,906
Ilana.
No way.
350
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,507
No.
351
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,443
I'm like, what, am I gonna
sell my soul?
It's good to have standards.
352
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,245
$2.00.
Okay, let's do it.
353
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:09,116
Oh.
That's hysterical.
354
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,617
$40, huh?
355
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:12,619
Yeah, which is
a really great deal,
356
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,956
uh, considering the art will
only continue to appreciate.
357
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,591
Of course, shrimp cocktail's
Ron Howard's favorite food.
358
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,627
He probably has it
three, four times a week,
359
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:21,995
that (bleep) pussy.
360
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:24,264
Uh, it's
a fictional series
361
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,767
based on the artist's
imagination, um--
362
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,369
Wait a minute, you mean
this is not real?
363
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:32,139
Like Bruce Springsteen's
favorite food is not a tomato?
364
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:35,475
No, I mean, he's from Jersey,
so I put him with a tomato
365
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:37,810
'cause I was like, that's a
marriage, you know, that works.
366
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:40,013
Ah, come on,
this is unbelievable!
367
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,181
What kind of (bleep)
is this?
368
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,316
What?
Is it that unbelievable?
369
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,385
Forty doll-- I give $40,
I'm gonna get a little more
370
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,287
than artwork from you over
there, sweet cheeks.
371
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,322
Why don't you (bleep)
my (bleep) dick?
372
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,523
Hey, listen,
I've been there, sweetie.
373
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:51,491
I've been there.
374
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:52,659
To my dick?
Yeah.
375
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,397
20, 21... Twen--
376
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,266
There's just $22 still.
377
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,767
Okay, I'll
be right back.
378
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:02,402
Okay, Oliver, I want you
to remember
379
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,005
that most of this
day is a secret, okay?
380
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,975
Adults aren't supposed to ask
kids to keep secrets.
381
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,342
Oh.
382
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,682
Hey, guy,
how was your day?
383
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,717
We hung out with Abbi,
Ilana's girlfriend,
384
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:20,253
even though they
can't be together right now.
385
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,754
But they will be someday.
386
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:23,890
Ilana.
387
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,226
I had no
idea you were gay.
388
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,260
We all...
389
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,895
Having a "gayby"-sitter
will be wonderful
390
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:30,897
for Oliver's CV
to get into middle school.
391
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,032
And get this.
392
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,101
We gave all these clothes to
homeless people
393
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,003
and I thought
I would feel dirty afterwards,
394
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,570
but it was so nice.
395
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,806
How very funky.
396
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,874
You were just talking about how
you're so sick
397
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,743
of all your
clothes from last season.
398
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:45,712
Instead of bringing it in
to the stables,
399
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,380
you should
give it all to Ilana.
400
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,250
She could probably donate it
for you right now.
401
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,119
Well, I mean on
the one hand,
402
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:54,387
the horses do get
very cold in the winter,
403
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,889
but on the other, the less
fortunate probably get
404
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,392
just as cold,
maybe even more so.
405
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:03,096
Ilana, do you think this is
something you could do for me?
406
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:05,665
Um, I do
have some stuff...
407
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,235
I'll give you cash for a cab.
Yeah, mm-hmm, sure.
408
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,103
(making kissy sounds)
409
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:11,871
Yay.
Thank you...
410
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,206
for those kisses.
411
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,143
Come on, dude, I thought
we were cool.
412
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:18,478
Now I gotta lug all this
(bleep) to some Jesus house?
413
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,047
No, you bobo.
414
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,415
My mom's stuff is fancy
as (bleep).
415
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,951
Take it back to Beacon's
and sell the (bleep) out of it.
416
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:29,656
The student has become
the teacher.
417
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:33,093
Yes, queen, yes, queen,
yes, queen!
418
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,329
(mouthing silently)
Yes, queen!
419
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,532
Ilana, do the homeless
like Prada?
420
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:40,900
(Oliver)
Yes, queen!
421
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:44,137
* Where my scallywags at
422
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,608
* Ready catch
423
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:51,311
* Party from the drop until
the sun beams *
424
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:54,681
* Flying flying from
the loosey in my blood stream *
425
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:57,917
* See my people ready now-ow
ready now-ow *
426
00:16:58,085 --> 00:17:01,454
* My oopa take you
steady now-ow steady now-ow *
427
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,756
* Don't need no drink I think
I'm rolling *
428
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,725
(Abbi)
Oh...
429
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,260
Remember me?
430
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,597
Well, do you
remember me?
431
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,632
Even less.
We were just in here
two hours ago.
432
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,201
Come on.
Well...
433
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:15,502
...do you
work on commission?
434
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:18,105
No.
Yeah, do you work
on commission?
435
00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,172
I said no.
436
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:20,373
I didn't hear it.
437
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,541
Big mistake.
438
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:22,509
Big.
439
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:23,543
Huge.
440
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,778
**
441
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,314
Wow.
442
00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,683
Remember me now?
443
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,119
We remember you...
444
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,487
'cause your hair
and lipstick looks cute.
445
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:35,922
Mm-hmm.
446
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,261
I can give you $13,000
in store credit
447
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:42,762
or $903 in cash.
448
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,031
Woo-hoo,
store credit for life!
449
00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:46,233
Dude, I need
the money.
450
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,900
Money, right,
money, money.
451
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,638
Speaking of which, how much is
my aunt's timeless, beautiful,
452
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,141
classic apothecary bag?
453
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,377
$226.
454
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,883
Wonderful.
455
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,152
By the way...
456
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,686
I know that shirt's
from Forever 21.
457
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:08,020
You're not
kidding anybody.
458
00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:10,623
Nice.
459
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:19,999
**
460
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,168
I got it.
461
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,571
All right, okay.
462
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:25,672
Okay, ease your grip.
463
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,342
There we go.
464
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:31,444
Looks good.
465
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:33,012
Yeah.
They're not gonna know, right?
466
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,747
No one
will ever notice.
467
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,917
I'm going home
and I'm shutting my blinds
468
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:41,721
and I'm going to go to sleep
like, forever,
469
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,990
until my
shift at 10:30 today.
470
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:45,592
Not so fast, muchacha.
471
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,327
I need
you right here.
472
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,262
Trey, there's no way there's
a pube situation.
473
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,663
No one else is here.
474
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,665
Do you put
your pubes somewhere?
475
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:53,633
No.
476
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,202
You're teaching
a class today.
477
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,503
And it starts in
two hours.
478
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:57,837
This is a bazinga.
479
00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,972
I swear, I've lost
all respect for you, Trey.
480
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,241
It's not a bazinga.
481
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,743
Abbi, you're such
a good cleaner.
482
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,212
You're so special.
483
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,046
Plus Regina who
normally teaches the class
484
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:09,649
has been missing for
48 hours.
485
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,118
Love Regina,
but that's awesome.
486
00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:14,221
I mean, I can-- I...
487
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:17,257
So I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be a trainer.
488
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,591
Yeah.
Of a class.
489
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:19,726
Just one class.
490
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,894
But I kinda need
you to leave me alone
491
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,331
in the studio for
a while.
492
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,833
Gotta finish paying off
my half of the mirror.
493
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,302
Okay.
'Kay.
494
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,277
What's up, guys?
495
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:41,514
Are you ready to rise
to your potential?
496
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,250
(class)
Yeah!
Let's do this!
497
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:45,818
Here we go,
yeah, here we go!
498
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,720
Come on, yeah, move
those arms,
499
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,556
move those legs,
move those arms.
500
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:50,490
Let's go, guys.
501
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:51,958
What ignites you?
502
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,060
What fuels your fire?
503
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,263
Oh, you know what?
504
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,764
I'll clean that up later,
don't worry.
505
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:01,434
What's up?
506
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:02,602
I'm Kirk Steele.
507
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:03,603
I'm 18,
508
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:04,604
I'm from Orlando, Florida
509
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,705
and my favorite movie
510
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:06,906
is "Garden State".
511
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:10,343
Are you ready
to explore the infinite abyss?
512
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:18,451
**
513
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,153
When I grow up I either want to
be a stunt choreographer
514
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,755
or I want
to work with kids with MS.
515
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:28,995
**
516
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:34,767
Somebody stop me!
517
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:36,269
Oh (bleep)!
518
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:37,370
Oh!
519
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:38,871
I have two twin sisters.
520
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,575
(grunting)
521
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,977
Oh God... oh God,
(bleep) Oh!
522
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,915
Oh, oh, ooh, oh, oh...
523
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:52,552
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
524
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:55,622
Uh... uh!
525
00:20:55,722 --> 00:21:00,693
**
526
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:03,029
(sniffing)
Ooh, I stink.
527
00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:20,212
Ho!
* Didn't like to do
it again *
528
00:21:20,347 --> 00:21:21,548
Ho!
Hey!
529
00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:25,918
* Everybody singing on the
Mississippi riverbend *
530
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,854
That was great!
* Mississippi River
at midnight *
35825
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