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1
00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,278
Hello.
2
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:13,314
We would love to use our free
passes to see one movie
3
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:15,116
and only one movie.
4
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:17,585
Um, we're gonna see...
"Fang for a Fang."
5
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,019
Gotta support
book adaptations.
6
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,190
You read the book?
No.
7
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,557
Thank you.
8
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,059
Okay.
Have a good rest.
9
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,827
(man)
Gun it, bitch, without
that cocaine,
10
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:28,929
I can't control
the other werewolves.
11
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,765
Um, I'm confused.
12
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,202
Chris Rock is killing all
the werewolves,
13
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,904
but he is also a werewolf.
14
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,339
This movie
makes no sense.
15
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:39,640
I love it.
16
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:47,315
(woman)
I don't care what the principal
says, I'm in love with you.
17
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:48,649
Did you bring
any more almond milk?
18
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,618
(chair thumping)
Yeah, I just...
19
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:51,919
Ow.
Shush!
20
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,555
I'm just trying--
Shh!
21
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,056
I'm just trying...
22
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,525
(muttering)
23
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,331
Do you want any popcorn?
24
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,866
There's Milk Duds on
the bottom, actually.
25
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,301
All right, yeah.
26
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,802
My favorite.
27
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,840
Ilana...
28
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,875
Are you (bleep) kidding me?
29
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:19,147
That's not cool dude.
30
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,783
Hello, sir, we'd like
to report that the sound
31
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,752
was really subpar.
32
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,020
The Dolby was
nowhere near 5.1--
33
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,989
Great, okay.
34
00:01:29,157 --> 00:01:30,358
See you next week.
35
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,793
* Four and three and
two and one one *
36
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,163
**
37
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:40,201
All major religions
have a dual god system,
38
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,703
one visible face
and one invisible.
39
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,573
Okay, call me after
Dave and Busters.
40
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,874
Say hi to your mom.
41
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,676
Hi, Abbi-dabbi.
42
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,010
Smells like you've
been working out.
43
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:51,044
What is this?
44
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,847
I have been making some
home improvements.
45
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,015
This way we don't
have to trudge
46
00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:57,451
all the way to
the master fridge.
47
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,188
Watch.
48
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,756
It's like two feet farther.
Simple.
49
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:04,425
I don't think this
is a good idea.
50
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,459
Elegant.
51
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:06,960
Bevers, do you want
me to get it?
52
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,197
It's heavy.
53
00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:13,601
It's clearly gonna...
the floor.
Oh, (bleep).
54
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,337
I'm sorry.
55
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,772
I guess I don't
know my own strength.
56
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,408
Holy (bleep).
57
00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,610
Bevers, what is
on your back?
58
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,245
You know, I don't know.
59
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:28,015
I just know it itches a lot,
and it really hurts.
60
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:29,383
Is it a mosquito bite?
61
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,919
No, that is definitely
not a mosquito bite.
62
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,854
I think it's
a bed sore.
63
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,889
I've only been sitting on
the couch-- so, technically,
64
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,758
you're gonna have to call it
a couch sore, but--
65
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:41,061
How have you been on my couch
long enough to get a couch sore?
66
00:02:41,229 --> 00:02:43,797
You don't even live here,
your girlfriend does.
67
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:46,234
Where's Melody?
68
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,768
You just missed her.
69
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,603
She's on her way to
Port-au-Prince right now.
70
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,539
Of course she is.
She leaves her boyfriend here
71
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,574
to go on, what,
some (bleep) cruise?
72
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,908
Uh, no.
73
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,645
She's spearheading Habitat
for Humanity down there.
74
00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,648
I know everybody else has moved
on to the new hip tragedy,
75
00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:03,016
but it's still
a mess down in Haiti.
76
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,652
I know it is.
77
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:06,287
Terrible.
78
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,921
You need to get off
of my couch.
79
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:13,294
You need to take a long hard
look at yourself right now.
80
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:16,029
This is so disgusting.
81
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,265
Just do something
with your life.
82
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,599
Do anything.
83
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:19,800
Jesus.
84
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,002
I can't-- I can't
do this, Bevers.
85
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,273
Ow.
86
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:26,274
Please stop.
87
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:29,277
I'm trying to be all
Zen Buddha, you know?
88
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,311
Tea.
89
00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:31,612
Hey, Nicole.
90
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,381
Nic, Nic, Nic.
91
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:35,749
Do you ever, um,
get hair from your head
92
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,050
stuck in your butt crack
in the shower?
93
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,151
Do you?
94
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:40,087
Ilana?
Hey, Buddy, what's up?
95
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:44,592
My therapist has encouraged me
to write down my feelings.
96
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,460
I didn't know you go
to a therapist-- Me, too.
97
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,731
"Dear Ilana, when you
do not do work,
98
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:55,168
I feel disrespected and--
99
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,070
I had no idea.
And less then.
100
00:03:57,170 --> 00:04:01,675
I will be out for the rest of
the day, and when I return,
101
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,878
you-- you need to
have gotten a deal,
102
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:07,681
or I will have to...
103
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,150
let you go.
104
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,520
Very sincerely, Todd."
105
00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:18,759
You know what?
106
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,328
Challenge accepted.
107
00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,729
Okay? I'm proud of you.
108
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:23,331
That was great.
109
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,333
Yeah, I'll do it,
I'll work.
Thank you.
110
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:32,205
Bevers?
111
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,008
Bevers?
112
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:40,381
Hello?
113
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:48,356
* There ain't no reason you
and me should be alone *
114
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:52,960
* Tonight yeah baby
tonight yeah baby *
115
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,363
* And I got a reason that
you're who should *
116
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,230
* Take me home tonight
117
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,069
* I need a man that
thinks it's right *
118
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,437
* When it's so wrong
119
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:08,108
* Tonight yeah baby
tonight yeah baby *
120
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:12,179
* Right on the limits where we
know we both belong tonight *
121
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:18,419
* It's hard to
feel the rush *
122
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:22,022
* To brush the dangerous
123
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:25,993
* I'm gonna run right to
to the edge with you *
124
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:29,497
* Where we can both
fall far in love *
125
00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:31,832
* I'm on the edge
126
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,834
* Of glory
127
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,970
* And I'm hanging
on a moment of truth *
128
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,572
* Out on the edge *
129
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:50,418
Hey, Nicole, how would you
describe exactly
130
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:54,788
what it is we "do"
at this "company."?
131
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,890
Todd told
you to work.
132
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,726
I am, Nicoletta.
133
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,461
I'm hiring interns.
134
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,530
Yeah,
two words, baby.
135
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:06,434
Steve Jobs...
techno-visionary,
136
00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:09,302
created many jobs.
137
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,804
Oh, okay.
138
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:11,839
See you later.
139
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,975
Wow, wow, wow.
140
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,945
This is an
incredible resume.
141
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,714
Did you
print this yourself?
142
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:23,050
Yeah, you just,
uh, press "Ctrl P."
143
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:26,454
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
144
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:30,658
My biggest weakness is that
I lose my purse a lot.
145
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:33,060
But then my biggest strength
is that I always get it back.
146
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,328
Does that answer
your question?
147
00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:37,698
You asked me the question,
and then just started answering
148
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:39,833
it yourself.
149
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,669
Excellent listening skills.
150
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,203
I've been taking the PATH
train into Manhattan
151
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,873
every morning--
not great for my thigh bursitis.
152
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:48,576
But on the bright side,
my kids sure are happy
153
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:50,010
to have me
out of the house.
154
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,378
Gotta tell you, Frank,
155
00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:55,483
this would absolutely
be a pity hire.
156
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,051
That would
be amazing.
157
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:01,922
I just don't think you're
Deals Deals Deals material.
158
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,390
I already work here.
159
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,760
Stop letting strangers
in the building.
160
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,496
Sorry about that.
161
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,000
Oh, you missed the...
all right.
162
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,537
What up, Trey?
163
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:17,838
So much better.
164
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:18,972
Thank you for asking.
165
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,041
You know I have been
in such a funk lately,
166
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,511
'cause you know I donated
$14,000 to Zach Braff's
167
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:26,413
kick-starter, and--
Fourteen thousand dollars?
168
00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,215
I mean that's
a lot of money.
169
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,851
Yeah, my whole savings,
but it was worth every penny.
170
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,787
The bummer is that they spelled
my name wrong in the credits,
171
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,856
and I didn't get
my set visit.
172
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,758
But, you know what,
today is a new day.
173
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,292
Cha-chinga!
174
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,829
Yeah, you know what, I'm in
a really good mood today, too.
175
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,831
Today is a che-chinga.
176
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:46,099
It's "cha-chinga."
But that's great.
177
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,535
Our cycles
must be synched.
178
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,336
Our--
Our happiness cycles.
179
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:52,873
Yeah, you're normally so sad
and sickly and depressed,
180
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,242
but today you're
rocking positive vibes.
181
00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,144
All you, buddy.
All you, all you.
182
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,245
Nice work, brother.
183
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,080
You know what,
I do feel like my vibes
184
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,616
are like off
the chain today.
185
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:06,987
You know what, you seem ready to
rise up and meet an opportunity.
186
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,089
Would you like to
assist me today?
187
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,257
I would love to.
188
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,359
Rock on, Garth
let's party.
Yeah, let's rock it.
189
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:13,360
And guess what?
190
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,195
I found my muse.
191
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,032
Hey, Abbi.
192
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:24,471
Bevers.
193
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:25,839
You guys know
each other?
194
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,808
You two boyfriend-girlfriend?
God, no.
195
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,109
He's my roommate's
boyfriend.
196
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,143
So, you know his body.
197
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:31,444
This is great.
198
00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:33,581
I could use an extra hand,
because I'm documenting
199
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:36,950
his transformation for
bodybytrey.biz, my website.
200
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,218
Will you help
me train him?
201
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:41,789
Yeah, I'll help
you train Bevers.
Great.
202
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,123
Give me five more minutes
on that elliptical,
203
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,124
then Abbi will
stretch you out.
204
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,593
Thumbs up.
205
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,194
He's incredible.
206
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,597
All right, I'm gonna go grab
my Lumia and take some pics.
207
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,600
He is the perfect
"before" picture.
208
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,935
A lump of clay we're gonna
sculpt together, Abbi.
209
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:55,936
Okay.
210
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,237
He's gonna be
my Garden State.
211
00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,907
(slap)
Okay.
212
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,308
Kinda inappropriate.
213
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,447
Wow.
214
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,982
Ilana?
Yes?
215
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,217
This is Todd's desk.
216
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,518
Yes, mhm.
217
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:14,221
And I thought you
were hiring one intern.
218
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,690
I know, but look at the
diversity I'm bringing
219
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:17,691
to this company.
220
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,292
Frank lives
in Hoboken.
221
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,662
He's a modern-day gypsy.
222
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,064
And, hey, the company
can afford it.
223
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,866
Because you're
not paying them.
224
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,500
Exactly.
225
00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:31,138
You and I are seriously like
mind meld, on the same page.
226
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,673
You gotta check
this out, too.
227
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,142
These are dinosaurs,
stills of dinosaurs.
228
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,144
They're made of the same
thing stars are made of,
229
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,211
which is what we
are made of...
230
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,714
(phone vibrating)
231
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:43,751
Do we have to
keep doing this?
232
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,118
It's the three in the middle.
233
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,186
I keep telling you that.
234
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:48,421
You were attacked
in broad daylight.
235
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,858
We have to make sure this gang
doesn't hit anybody else.
236
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:55,562
Okay, number four, please
step forward, say your line.
237
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,767
Nice razor scooter,
pencil dick.
238
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:02,169
You aborted--
Macklemore (bleep).
239
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,238
You (bleep) look-alike
Albert Nobbs.
240
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,041
I wish I hadn't
reported this.
241
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,209
Number five.
242
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,178
Nice razor scooter,
pencil dick.
243
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,445
You aborted
Macklemore mother...
244
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,583
Bevers, what are you
even doing here?
245
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:19,352
Well, that stuff you said last
night really got me thinking
246
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,954
I can be better.
247
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,156
I need to start by
improving my physical form.
248
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:26,694
That's great, but there are so
many gyms in Astoria
249
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:30,030
closer to our apartment,
closer to my apartment.
250
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,632
Jesus, why'd you have
to come to this one?
251
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:36,069
This is the only gym my
friend Abbi works in,
252
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,805
plus they
provide free razors.
253
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:38,972
You have a beard.
254
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:42,009
Oh, God, ew.
255
00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:44,311
Abbi, angle his
gluteus towards me.
256
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,545
Yep, perfect.
257
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,548
I'm excited to do
this with you, Abbi.
258
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,117
We can take the subway
here together.
259
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,119
I'll break for
lunch whenever you do.
260
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,186
We help each other.
261
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,722
I don't need help,
Bevers.
262
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:56,456
Oh, really?
263
00:10:56,556 --> 00:11:00,327
'Cause I see someone is
training instead of cleaning.
264
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,162
It's already happening,
Abbi.
265
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,297
I mean,
I guess so.
266
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,466
Oh! (farts)
I'm sorry.
267
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:07,968
Okay, I think
we're done.
268
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,269
Abbi, if you farted,
it's all right.
269
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,238
Trey, I did not just fart.
270
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,307
I moved his
gluteus sensitive--
Yeah, that's a woman's fart.
271
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:16,777
Hi, Miss Wexler?
272
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:17,945
Please,
call me Ilana.
273
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,246
Actually, call me
Miss Wexler.
274
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,580
That was dope.
275
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,215
Okay, I was just wondering--
Before you finish,
276
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,450
I want you to know
277
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,920
that you already
have the answers.
278
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,557
Unlock the solutions
deep within you.
279
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,193
(vocalizing explosion)
280
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,929
Now, get out of here.
281
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,264
Oh, my God.
282
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,331
Ilana.
283
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:39,666
Please, call
me Miss Wexler.
284
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,634
Miss Wexler, I closed on
that nail article.
285
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:43,003
You made $400 in commission.
286
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,337
Perfect.
287
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:45,638
Now, go get
another one.
288
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:47,640
Holy (bleep) moly.
289
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:51,411
Baby girl, you know
we can make commission here?
290
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,784
Love ya.
291
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,685
My interns,
gather.
292
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,790
Okay, kids, when
I started this day,
293
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:03,991
I had one goal
294
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:07,828
and that
was to get a deal.
295
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,797
But then I learned
what commission is,
296
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:14,301
and now my goal is money,
money, money, bitch.
297
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,970
Now, I'm gonna take lunch,
but I need you guys to keep it
298
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,506
on, on, on, on, on.
299
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,209
Please don't leave the building
so that you work and also
300
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,411
I won't be able to sign you
back in 'cause I won't be here.
301
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:25,478
Okay.
302
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,947
Your fly is down, yeah.
303
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:29,549
(whistling)
304
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:31,852
What a cool boss.
305
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:38,191
Your transformation
will inspire millions.
306
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,227
Come on, Abbi,
do it with him.
307
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,564
Abbi, motivate him, tell him
how ripped he's gonna be.
308
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:45,665
So ripped.
309
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:46,967
Come on, be more specific.
310
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,569
Paint a picture of how
he's gonna look with words.
311
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:53,106
Uh, muscly, like on the top
and then skinny stomach.
312
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,241
Drop that ball.
313
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:55,508
All right, buddy.
314
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,110
Come on, yes.
315
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,611
All right, go protein
up, all right?
316
00:12:58,711 --> 00:12:59,980
I'll come find you,
if I can see you.
317
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,314
You're really
shrinking, buddy.
318
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,450
bodybytrey.biz. Cut
out.
319
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,485
All right, Abbi,
that was not great.
320
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,988
Now, look, Matthew is
very special, all right?
321
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,557
When you're home with him,
I want you to monitor his diet,
322
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,325
his sleep,
even his stool.
323
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:16,163
I want you to be all
over him, okay?
324
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:18,631
If you can do that, there's
no telling how far we can go.
325
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,569
Oh, and, Abbi, could you
clean up all this sweat.
326
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:23,636
It's really stinky.
327
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,338
It's actually my
lunch break.
328
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:26,473
Good call.
329
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:28,141
It'll totally be here
when you get back.
330
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,577
But, Abbi,
hashtag get clean.
331
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,345
Your farts don't
smell healthy.
332
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,614
It's not--
333
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,560
Hi.
Hi, I'm here to meet
my friend Ilana.
334
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,662
Oh, yes, Miss Wexler.
Yes.
335
00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,198
Right this way, sir.
336
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,499
I'm not a sir.
337
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,335
I wear a ponytail
out one time.
338
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,436
Whoo-hoo!
339
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:57,770
What up, queen?
340
00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,406
Check it.
341
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,910
I got a dirty-ass martini,
a clean white power suit,
342
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:06,279
originally 119,
down to 69, down to 39.
343
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,580
Thank you.
344
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,815
TJ Maxx.
345
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:11,952
Okay, Maxinista, I think you
left the size tag on it.
346
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:14,121
Whup,
can't get it by ya.
347
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:17,024
This, uh, Halliburton
fat-cat lunch is on me.
348
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:20,693
I made $400
today already.
349
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,763
I hired an extremely
diverse ethic smorgasbord
350
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,765
of unpaid interns.
351
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:28,301
Turns out I'm an
effective leader.
352
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,104
I'm happy that one of us is
having a really good day,
353
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,473
'cause, um...
354
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:37,077
Bevers joined
Soulstice today.
355
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,248
Well, just-- just wait
for this,
356
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:44,384
'cause I'm helping
Trey train him.
357
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,388
You're getting
to train someone?
358
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,123
Yeah, but it's Bevers.
359
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,391
So what?
360
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,093
Rub some Purrell in your
mustache so you don't smell him.
361
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,427
Who cares?
362
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,728
This is an opportunity.
363
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,598
Grab the bull by
the balls, dude.
364
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,633
Guess you're right.
It's just my day job.
365
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,303
I'm gonna be like a successful
artist any day now.
366
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,571
Obviously.
367
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:05,973
I could train the
(bleep) out of Bevers.
368
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:07,174
Hell, yes, you can.
369
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,742
To us and the future.
370
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:11,878
Oh.
371
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,547
I just ruined
a perfectly clean
372
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,783
white power suit.
373
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:20,320
I don't know if I would
call it a white power suit,
374
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,889
especially after you just,
you know, talked about
375
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,093
that ethnic smorgasbord of
unpaid workers that you have.
376
00:15:26,193 --> 00:15:28,361
What did you just say?
377
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:29,429
Explain what you mean?
378
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,831
Well,
white power, um...
379
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,634
No, no, no-- Mom,
it is a job,
380
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:35,902
but I'm not
making any money.
381
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,138
* Swing low
382
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:41,641
* Sweet chariot
383
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:46,613
* Coming forth to
carry me home *
384
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,282
Ilana, one of your interns tried
to leave so the other ones
385
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,483
locked him in
the conference room.
386
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,286
I have a Skype with
a haunted pizza tour company.
387
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,822
I need that room
like now.
388
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,424
What have I become?
389
00:15:57,524 --> 00:16:00,460
I don't know,
but I need the room.
390
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,630
Goddam it!
391
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,233
Bevers, come on,
let's go!
392
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,601
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna
get to this right after.
393
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,238
We gotta, we're gonna
do some stretching.
394
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,541
Yes.
395
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,710
Yes.
396
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,546
Abbi, I can't.
397
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,081
Abbi!
398
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,717
Yes, yes.
399
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:25,885
(groaning)
400
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,087
Beautiful.
401
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:28,088
Here we go.
402
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,390
Be your Soulstie self,
Matthew.
403
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,724
Yes, Abbi.
Come on.
404
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:35,195
(chanting) Meet and greet
your potential
405
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,730
Yeah, feel that fuel running
through your veins!
406
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,132
Nice!
407
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,233
Yes, you can--
I know you can.
408
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,634
You always
quit too soon.
409
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,070
Push him, Abbi.
Come on, don't stop.
410
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,071
Be the change!
411
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,405
Feel it.
412
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,673
You're running.
413
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:47,674
You are running!
414
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,176
You got it, yes!
415
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,246
Bevers, oh, my God!
416
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,347
Oh, Bevers.
417
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,684
Go, get outta here, go.
418
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,786
But, wait-- Why?
Wait, why?
419
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,255
Get out-- Be free--
I don't want you here.
420
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,091
Go--
You must leave.
421
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,325
You deserve paid work.
422
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,294
I can't get paid work.
423
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:09,429
I just graduated from
Cornell with a business degree.
424
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,497
That's the worst ivy.
425
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,599
And I'm building my resume.
426
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,834
My parents are
finally proud of me.
427
00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:16,403
What, is this because
we made-out earlier?
428
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:17,437
You beautiful boy.
429
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,738
Don't you see?
430
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:23,243
I am Thomas Jefferson, and you
are Stockholm Syndrome.
431
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:24,244
Listen, I'll cut you
each your checks.
432
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,712
These are index cards.
433
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:27,847
Future checks.
IOU's.
434
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,283
Obviously, I can't pay you
until, um,
435
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,885
I get paid, but fill
436
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,422
out these envelopes with your
address, leave them in the
437
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:39,426
mailbox, labeled "Nicole,"
and I promise you you will get
438
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,493
your reparations.
439
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,661
Taking to you, Aisha.
440
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:42,895
Be free, go.
441
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,532
Is this 'cause we made-out?
442
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:48,435
I don't even know anymore,
text me later.
443
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,970
(man)
Both ankles are sprained,
and he's got a mild concussion.
444
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:52,739
Make sure he doesn't fall asleep
for at least eight hours.
445
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:53,740
Keep him vertical.
446
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,275
Just set him up
on a couch.
447
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:57,444
All right, thank you.
448
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,346
Bevers, I'm
so sorry.
449
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,780
I really did not
mean to hurt you.
450
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,849
You were just
trying to push me.
451
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,984
Matthew, it's me, Trey.
452
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:07,687
We're gonna your core
until your ankles heal, okay?
453
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,256
No, I'm not coming back.
454
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:12,225
What? Matthew look how
much healthier you are.
455
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,161
Bevers, Bevers.
456
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:17,164
To be honest, I'm really
happy with the way I look.
457
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,165
Ew!
458
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:19,499
He's obviously
severely concussed.
459
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,533
Will you tell him
he can't quit.
460
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,002
Trey, just let
him leave.
461
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:25,405
You can't force someone to
be something they're not.
462
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:29,309
You're right.
463
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:30,777
I push people too hard.
464
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,212
I'm sorry, Matthew.
465
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,880
I'm sorry I pushed you,
too, Abbi.
466
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,848
You're not a trainer,
you're a cleaner.
467
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,484
But I was so good.
468
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:40,420
I was great even,
right up until he fell.
469
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,821
Stop.
470
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,423
Stop.
471
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:44,957
Good-bye, Matthew.
472
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:50,563
(Bevers snoring)
473
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,599
Bevers, Bevers.
474
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:54,334
Can we go home now?
475
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,902
Yeah, we're gonna go
back to my apartment.
476
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:57,304
Back to our home.
477
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,938
We're gonna go to
my-- my apartment.
478
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:08,215
Well, looky, looky,
who's playing hooky?
479
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,416
You are, Todd.
480
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:10,717
I was not hookying.
481
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,952
Oh, really, Todd?
482
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,121
I beg to differ.
483
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:16,756
Are you filling
out a contract?
484
00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,259
Yeah, I actually closed
four deals today.
485
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,494
I was a capitalist pig,
486
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:24,231
rolling around in my
own (bleep).
487
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,698
That is great--
Thank you for listening to me.
488
00:19:25,798 --> 00:19:26,899
Great job.
489
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,468
And your outfit is
close to appropriate.
490
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:29,502
Good job on that as well.
491
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,407
Hey, Ilana?
492
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,309
Who's Albert Nobbs?
493
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,245
Oh, it's Glenn Close,
pretending to be a woman,
494
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,580
pretending to be a man.
495
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,415
Yeah, that's accurate.
496
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,484
I love Albert Nobbs.
497
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,453
So hot.
498
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:55,061
Dude, it's like it's hard enough
to push a baby out through your
499
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:58,265
vagine, but on top of that,
I'm gonna defecate myself?
500
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:01,634
I knew that you could (bleep)
while you give birth,
501
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,837
but then I--
I immediately repress it.
502
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:08,040
I keep it like in the repression
folder, you know?
503
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:11,278
If it happened to me, you have
my permission to look away.
504
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,079
Thank you.
You're welcome.
505
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,981
I'm gonna see you
give birth then?
506
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:17,650
Bitch, dur, dur,
dur, dur, dur.
507
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:20,720
Who else would be
my focal point?
508
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:24,156
Also, I wanna do it in one of
those birthing pools,
509
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,894
and I feel like my apartment is
just-- it's dirty, and there's
510
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:29,061
a lot of traffic around it.
511
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:31,598
I thought maybe
I could do it here.
512
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,633
In the living room.
513
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,703
You know, don't-- don't push
away the idea of doing it right
514
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:37,704
in my bedroom, though.
515
00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:38,938
We can get my bed out.
516
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,573
You know,
I'll move all my stuff out.
517
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:43,109
We'll just put your birthing
pool, you know, in here.
518
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,512
We'll bring it in.
Thank you.
519
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,849
You know, these are actually
really, really good.
520
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:52,819
I didn't think
they would be.
I know it scares me.
521
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,388
Hey, eyes open,
Bevers!
522
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:57,490
(snoring)
523
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,392
(Ilana)
Eyes open.
524
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,731
Abbi, it spilled!
525
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,908
Hold on--
Hold the railing...
526
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,109
Go-- Go, quick.
527
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,445
I'm going.
528
00:21:18,545 --> 00:21:19,746
We got this.
529
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:20,813
Got it?
530
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:21,814
You got it?
531
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:23,883
Why didn't we do this
in the beginning?
532
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:24,584
All right, no laughing.
36981
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