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1
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:09,967
I still can't believe
you have to take a drug test.
2
00:00:10,067 --> 00:00:12,100
I know.
The man gets off
3
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,867
sniffing America's piss
these days.
4
00:00:14,967 --> 00:00:18,067
You know that my pee probably
won't pass a drug test either?
5
00:00:18,167 --> 00:00:19,733
I know, but at least it's,
like, human level.
6
00:00:19,833 --> 00:00:21,767
It's less embarrassing.
7
00:00:21,867 --> 00:00:23,667
Right.
God, I have such swamp ass.
8
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:25,400
Dude, thongs are the best.
9
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,033
It eliminates
an entire layer.
10
00:00:27,133 --> 00:00:27,833
Plus, it soaks up all
the sweat in your...
11
00:00:27,933 --> 00:00:29,633
(whispering)
butt crack.
12
00:00:29,733 --> 00:00:31,867
I still cannot believe you
are such a thong head.
13
00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:33,767
It's not for me.
It's butt floss.
14
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,567
Thank you so much.
Love this look.
15
00:00:36,667 --> 00:00:38,700
I love this look.
16
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,633
(together)
God, we're hot.
17
00:00:40,733 --> 00:00:42,833
God, my butt itches.
18
00:00:42,933 --> 00:00:45,500
Oh, yeah,
man titties.
19
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:46,167
(splashing)
20
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,433
(sighing)
21
00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:52,267
Abbi?
22
00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:56,033
Can I, uh, buy you an
ice coffee real quick?
23
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:58,433
* Four and three
and two and one, one **
24
00:00:58,533 --> 00:01:02,300
**
25
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,567
Oh, that's amazing.
26
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:06,667
Oh.
27
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,100
I hope you're not
talking about the kegels.
28
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,533
I was not.
29
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,467
Oh, um, hey, Ab.
30
00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:18,067
Would you maybe want to get, uh,
um, dinner if you're free later?
31
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:20,333
You mean like a date?
32
00:01:20,433 --> 00:01:22,400
Well, yeah.
My treat.
33
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:26,133
Um, I don't know if that's,
like, our thing, right?
34
00:01:26,233 --> 00:01:27,667
Well, yeah.
35
00:01:27,767 --> 00:01:29,533
But, you know how when we have
sex you tell me not to talk
36
00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:30,567
so you can concentrate,
which I-I totally get.
37
00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:33,233
I get it, but...
38
00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:35,833
Um, I just thought,
you know, if might be nice
39
00:01:35,933 --> 00:01:39,667
if we have an
actual conversation.
40
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,900
Um, yeah.
41
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:46,300
Okay...
42
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:47,800
I don't have
dinner plans yet.
43
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:50,233
No-- I don't-- I mean don't
have dinner plans yet, right?
44
00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:52,067
Is that what you just asked me?
To do dinner?
45
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:53,067
Awesome sauce.
46
00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:55,333
Okay.
Oh, you don't have to.
47
00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:59,400
Um, I, uh, I actually finished
when you said yes.
48
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,233
Aww.
49
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,267
I definitely
didn't though.
50
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:11,067
(sighing)
Oh, Madonna.
51
00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:11,333
Rihanna.
52
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,900
Ilana.
53
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,200
(laughing)
54
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:19,200
Madonna, Rihanna, Ilana.
55
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:20,567
Hey, bonita!
Hey.
56
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,333
Hey, what are you doing?
Come on.
57
00:02:24,433 --> 00:02:26,067
Hi, baby.
Do you want a peach, baby?
58
00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:29,100
Do you like a peach?
Yeah.
59
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,167
You have got
to be kidding me.
60
00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:33,100
We have been doing business
for how long?
61
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,567
I mean-- ah!
(phone vibrating)
62
00:02:36,667 --> 00:02:37,800
Hello.
63
00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:39,500
(Bobbi)
There's been
a terrible accident.
64
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,067
Oh my God.
65
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:42,400
Not us, on the LIE.
66
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:43,933
Tractor-trailer, overturned.
67
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:46,967
Bloody, bloody--
oh, it's so sad.
You buried the lead.
68
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,200
Don't do that.
(Arthur)
1010 WINS says we're
gonna be an hour late,
69
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:52,733
but Google Map says 20, so...
who knows...
70
00:02:52,833 --> 00:02:55,667
I don't trust Google Maps.
It's the cops tracking us.
71
00:02:55,767 --> 00:02:56,700
Steering us away from
their own corruption.
72
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,200
Wag the dog, Ilana.
73
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:02,067
Wag. The. Dog.
74
00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:04,667
Well, happy anniversary, guys.
75
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:07,067
Aww, thank you, sweetheart.
Love, love, love you.
76
00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:09,133
I'm so excited
to see you later.
77
00:03:09,233 --> 00:03:09,667
Love you, bye.
78
00:03:09,767 --> 00:03:13,533
**
79
00:03:14,567 --> 00:03:16,300
We can do this.
Somebody'll get up.
80
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,567
We got this.
Just wait it out.
81
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:19,567
Okay.
82
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,700
Oh, (bleep).
83
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,533
Hey!
No!
84
00:03:24,633 --> 00:03:25,867
I saw you see us see you!
85
00:03:25,967 --> 00:03:27,533
(both)
(bleep) you.
86
00:03:28,933 --> 00:03:30,167
So angry.
Yeah.
87
00:03:30,267 --> 00:03:30,833
Inappropriate.
88
00:03:30,933 --> 00:03:33,200
Oh, here's one.
89
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,333
Oh, it only has one chair.
90
00:03:35,433 --> 00:03:36,967
Okay, we can do this.
91
00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:40,300
Alright, oh, I'll grab a chair.
He's just using it a foot rest.
92
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,233
Hi, can I grab this?
93
00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:42,333
Oh, sorry.
I'm using it.
94
00:03:42,433 --> 00:03:44,967
Oh, totally,
but we're actually two people.
95
00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:46,067
We just wanna both sit.
No, no.
96
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,533
I'm-I'm using
the chair.
97
00:03:47,633 --> 00:03:48,700
I mean...
98
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,867
we all wish we could have
ottomans in the park--
99
00:03:50,967 --> 00:03:53,067
Are you deaf?
Like, I'm using the chair.
100
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,100
Okay, I'm gonna take
the chair.
I said--
101
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,067
No-- 'cause you're,
like, being a dick.
102
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,567
I'm gonna take the chair.
103
00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:58,733
Oh, my God.
Okay, I'm just gonna--
104
00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:01,067
No, don't touch--
don't touch it.
105
00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:02,267
No, I'm not--
Leave it.
106
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,400
No, alright, I--
You know what?
107
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:04,467
You can take the chair.
Take the chair.
108
00:04:04,567 --> 00:04:05,700
I can't--
I'm not taking the chair.
109
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:06,900
You own this chair.
Please, please take the chair.
110
00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:08,100
No, no, okay,
I just-- sorry.
Don't touch me.
111
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,567
Don't touch me.
Okay, I would not.
112
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:10,567
I would not.
Take the chair...
113
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,867
I'm not gonna take it.
...and go-- Bye.
114
00:04:12,967 --> 00:04:14,167
Okay.
Bye. Thank you.
115
00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:14,467
Okay.
116
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,700
I just straight up asked
that couple over there.
117
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,933
They're so sweet.
118
00:04:20,067 --> 00:04:21,533
Hi.
Cuties-- thanks.
119
00:04:23,133 --> 00:04:25,167
Man, I feel like I haven't
seen you in "lit-roll" days.
120
00:04:25,267 --> 00:04:28,400
God, you're glowing.
Your skin is glowing.
121
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:29,833
Really?
Yeah.
122
00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:30,700
What have you been doing?
123
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,667
Just been busy
with Trey--
124
00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:33,967
Ning.
125
00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:35,233
Training with Trey.
Y'know?
126
00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:36,867
He's just been on me.
127
00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:38,400
So annoying.
Get him off.
128
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,133
I would not
get him off!
129
00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:40,933
What?
130
00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:45,133
You trippin', boo.
131
00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:47,200
I don't wanna ta-- I don't think
we should talk about it anymore.
132
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:48,967
We should talk about positive
stuff like your parents, dude.
133
00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,267
Your parents.
I know.
134
00:04:50,367 --> 00:04:52,133
35 years!
That is impressive.
135
00:04:52,233 --> 00:04:53,467
Oh my God,
I didn't even ask you.
136
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:55,867
You can totally come to their
anniversary dinner tonight.
137
00:04:55,967 --> 00:04:57,667
We would love to have you.
No, it's cool.
138
00:04:57,767 --> 00:05:00,100
It's a family thing.
Girl, you're family.
139
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,467
You know,
unless you have plans.
140
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,167
I-I-I-- uh, I do actually
have plans.
141
00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:03,467
Cool, whatcha doin'?
142
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,233
Yeah.
143
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:08,933
What are your
plans tonight?
144
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:09,733
I...
145
00:05:09,833 --> 00:05:11,667
am...
146
00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:17,067
... Training Shania Twain.
147
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:19,300
(laughing ecstatically)
148
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,367
Are you kidding me?
149
00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:23,067
No.
That is hysterical.
150
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,833
That is your
go to lie.
151
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,933
I know, but not now.
152
00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:27,767
Oh my God.
153
00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:30,067
That does impress-ah
me much.
154
00:05:30,133 --> 00:05:31,133
Whoa.
Don't keep it from me.
155
00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:32,367
I wouldn't.
Don't keep anything
from me.
156
00:05:32,467 --> 00:05:33,967
I wouldn't.
You know, it could kill me.
157
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,267
It kills me!
158
00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:37,167
To feel
any distance here.
159
00:05:37,267 --> 00:05:38,267
Totally.
That's all.
160
00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:39,900
I would not do that.
Love ya.
161
00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:41,367
I love you, too.
162
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:43,767
Wow.
(sighing)
163
00:05:43,867 --> 00:05:45,567
Is that Lincoln?
164
00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:46,933
Oh, my gee, Lincoln.
Come here.
165
00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:48,100
What are you doin'?
166
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,067
Hey.
What's up?
167
00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:52,533
'Sup, Ab?
Uh.
168
00:05:52,633 --> 00:05:55,067
I was waiting for you guys
to finish
169
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:57,133
so we could talk privately.
170
00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:57,433
Oh.
171
00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:02,800
Me?
172
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:04,267
I have to go.
173
00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:05,367
Later, Lincoln.
174
00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:06,400
Later, Ab.
175
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,800
Hello.
176
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:10,400
(sighing)
177
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,067
Watching that ass walk away
makes me sweat, too.
178
00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:14,233
(chuckles)
No, I...
179
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,733
I need to talk
about something.
180
00:06:16,833 --> 00:06:19,167
Some stuff was at my place
181
00:06:19,267 --> 00:06:20,633
that I need
to return to you.
182
00:06:20,733 --> 00:06:23,600
Why are you giving
the (bleep) ring back to me?
183
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,800
That's what I needed
to talk with you about.
184
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:29,133
I've been seein' that girl,
as you know.
185
00:06:29,233 --> 00:06:30,600
And have encouraged.
186
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:31,333
And it's gotten to
the point where I need
187
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,367
to talk to you about it.
188
00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:35,900
"Final-lee," some juicy,
(bleep) details.
189
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,367
I want the play by play.
No, no, no.
190
00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:39,133
Frame by frame.
No.
191
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,067
I wanna be monogamous.
192
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,833
I'm sorry, we've...
193
00:06:42,933 --> 00:06:45,533
talked about this
so many times, I just...
194
00:06:45,633 --> 00:06:47,500
It's just not for me.
No, with the other girl.
195
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,567
Our arrangement is perfect
for me, just as it is.
196
00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:51,767
We wanna be monogamous
with each other.
197
00:06:51,867 --> 00:06:53,433
No we don't.
You're not listening even.
198
00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:54,967
We haven't had a threesome
with a boy yet.
199
00:06:55,067 --> 00:06:57,400
I'm talking about Steph.
200
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,167
She's my girlfriend now, Ilana.
201
00:06:59,267 --> 00:07:01,133
We're together.
202
00:07:01,233 --> 00:07:02,833
Uh...
203
00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:04,767
okay.
204
00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:09,533
Cool.
Listen, Ilana.
205
00:07:09,633 --> 00:07:14,467
I love you, but,
I wanna be in a relationship
206
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:17,700
and you wanna do other stuff,
which is fine.
207
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,067
That's cool, but...
208
00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:23,567
we want different things,
so, I gotta move on.
209
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:26,067
But we can still
hang out as friends.
210
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,400
Obviously.
211
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:28,933
I don't think
we're just friends.
212
00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,867
So...
213
00:07:33,133 --> 00:07:33,633
... No.
214
00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:41,300
Well, uh, we will talk
when we talk
215
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,667
and I'll see you
when I see you
216
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:46,867
in a more professional capacity
from here on out, uh,
217
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,567
which is great.
Ilana, you good?
218
00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,067
You wanna...
Yep, great.
219
00:07:50,167 --> 00:07:52,067
hang out for
a little bit--
Oh, no, I'm gonna head out,
220
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:55,700
'cause this is just cool
and how life goes.
221
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:56,933
So, that's it.
I'll see you.
222
00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,067
That's... see ya.
223
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:02,933
Lincoln, wait.
224
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,200
(blows raspberry)
225
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:11,233
(chuckles)
226
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,800
(laughs)
227
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,367
She's still running.
228
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:23,667
Her running
is a metaphor.
229
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,500
Whoa, Ab.
230
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,333
What's up with that outfit?
231
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:33,567
It's confused.
232
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:35,100
(sighs)
233
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,067
I'm going on a date.
All right, girl.
234
00:08:37,167 --> 00:08:38,733
Just the deets.
I know the person?
235
00:08:38,833 --> 00:08:41,067
Anybody I know?
Who is it?
236
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,100
Okay.
Yeah, you know.
237
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,533
You know him.
(excited gasping)
238
00:08:44,633 --> 00:08:45,967
Who? Who?
239
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,067
Who, who, who,
who, who?
I'm, like, embarrassed about it.
240
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:49,067
I'm not-- I'm not
embarrassed about it,
241
00:08:49,133 --> 00:08:50,667
but I've been in denial
about it.
242
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:51,900
Like I haven't
even told Ilana.
Ooh.
243
00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:55,367
Am I at the farmer's market
'cause this is so juicy.
244
00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:57,533
Okay.
It's a peach.
245
00:08:57,633 --> 00:08:59,633
The white peaches
at the farmer's market.
246
00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:01,100
Okay.
Uh...
247
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,467
it's Trey.
248
00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:09,100
My Trey?
Well...
249
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,500
Why would you
be embarrassed?
250
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:14,433
I mean, I'm obviously straight,
but I would absolutely
251
00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:15,933
suck him dry.
Okay.
252
00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:17,533
Thanks so much, Bevers.
No, no, no, no.
253
00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:18,767
Oh, no, no, no, no.
254
00:09:18,867 --> 00:09:20,400
I'll be good, I'll be good,
I'll be good.
255
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,433
So what are we trying to say
with this outfit?
256
00:09:22,533 --> 00:09:23,800
I don't know.
257
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:27,500
I just need the look
to say that I want to be
258
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:28,333
sex friends only.
259
00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:30,400
All right, got it.
260
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,567
Let's figure something out
that's gonna let you
261
00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:33,600
maintain that status quo.
262
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,567
Okay.
Before we get started...
263
00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:38,300
Will you give me
some dick deets?
264
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,300
(sighs)
265
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:43,233
**
266
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,567
(snaps fingers)
267
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:46,700
Knee caps, baby.
268
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,767
Those thighs could
crack a coconut.
269
00:09:47,867 --> 00:09:50,233
Make me a "Vaginia-colada"
(sucking)
270
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:51,700
(barking)
271
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,100
Yes!
(Bobbi)
Is this what you do?
272
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,300
I love this.
273
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,600
(imitating a siren)
274
00:09:56,700 --> 00:10:00,633
Oh, mommy, I would sip dem
milkbags like a Capri Sun.
275
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,633
You Betty me "Veron-ing" ya.
276
00:10:02,733 --> 00:10:03,900
Yowza, baby.
277
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,233
(Bobbi)
All right, now you're going
too far.
278
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,367
Oh, here we go.
279
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:08,733
Strong back muscles.
280
00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:11,200
Butt clenched--
I like 'em nervous.
281
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:14,433
I'd wrap my thighs around
that big basketball head.
282
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:15,433
Oh.
Yeah?
283
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:16,767
Ew, what the (bleep).
284
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:17,933
Ooh.
Oh, Ilana.
285
00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:19,567
Eh, that was bad.
That's your brother.
286
00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:21,133
No, I'm really excited,
thank you so much.
That was so bad.
287
00:10:21,233 --> 00:10:23,300
That sucked.
Yeah, it really was not a good
place to go.
288
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,867
Oh my God, guys.
I have some big news.
289
00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:26,233
Oh, I have big news, too.
290
00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:28,600
You know your sister was just
talking about you sexually.
291
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,367
Ew, what?
I didn't know.
292
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:32,400
Sorry, but CrossFit
is shredding you.
Please.
293
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,867
Incest would destroy our
already weak bloodlines.
294
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,800
Anxiety, depression, enough.
295
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:38,333
Let's go kids.
Okay.
296
00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:39,700
Oh.
297
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,333
Guess I'll save it.
298
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:45,033
**
299
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:46,467
Mask up.
300
00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:50,600
The empire waist
is reading very Mormon.
301
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,100
You're beggin' to have
his babies.
302
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:52,967
Let's move on.
303
00:10:54,633 --> 00:10:56,867
Ugh...
Next!
What?
304
00:10:56,967 --> 00:10:58,033
Don't waste my time.
305
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,200
Mask up.
306
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:03,233
(sighs)
307
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,500
Mainline skirt is a flattering
silhouette for your
308
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,533
hourglass figure, but...
309
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:08,967
it's reading
a little too sexy.
310
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:10,533
Really?
I mean, we could let
the seam out
311
00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:13,300
an inch or two, make it a little
less form fitting, but...
312
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,300
those legs, I mean, you just got
those slut legs sticking out.
313
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,133
How the (bleep) do you know
this much about fashion.
314
00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:20,200
You know, I worked every summer
at my Grandma's department store
315
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,600
in St. Louis.
316
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,167
Lord and Bevers.
317
00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:24,433
Oh.
318
00:11:24,533 --> 00:11:25,500
Um, 'kay, mask down.
319
00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:28,067
Mask up.
320
00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:35,067
I don't know why
I didn't try it on first.
321
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:38,867
(phone vibrating)
322
00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:40,067
(sighing)
Okay.
323
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,400
Hi.
324
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:44,133
I am meeting
a Mr. Trey--
325
00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:45,100
Oh, Mr. Pucker.
Yeah.
326
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,333
He arrived about
a half an hour ago.
327
00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:48,267
Am I late?
No.
328
00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:49,267
He was just very early.
Follow me.
329
00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:51,900
Okay.
330
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:52,967
Half an hour.
331
00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:55,333
Abbi.
Hey, Trey.
332
00:11:55,433 --> 00:11:56,733
Hey, you look awesome.
333
00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:59,833
Thanks, wow.
Thank you.
Here you go.
334
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:01,567
Fancy.
How about this table, huh?
335
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:02,667
Oh, it's a great table.
336
00:12:02,767 --> 00:12:04,500
Check out the menu.
It's so tight.
337
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,700
I even moved my cheat day
in case you wanna split stuff,
338
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:07,867
share aps,
whatever you wanna do.
339
00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,067
I moved my cheat day, too.
340
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:10,533
So we can eat
whatever we want.
Great.
341
00:12:10,633 --> 00:12:12,800
Hi, what would you like?
342
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,367
Hey, I-I know.
I-I could--
343
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:15,700
Um...
Okay.
344
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,167
Okay, I'm gonna do the pan
roasted turbot with fennel
345
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:20,833
pollen aioli, prosciutto,
borlotti beans, parsnips,
346
00:12:20,933 --> 00:12:22,200
turnips and carrots.
347
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,767
So the Turbot.
Yeah.
348
00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:24,800
Uh, I'm gonna do
the chicken.
349
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,067
Alright, very good.
Great.
350
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,800
Cool.
Thanks.
351
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:29,133
(clears throat)
Well...
352
00:12:29,233 --> 00:12:30,500
Okay.
353
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,333
To new beginnings.
354
00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:34,467
Yeah...
355
00:12:34,567 --> 00:12:36,633
But also,
356
00:12:36,733 --> 00:12:39,200
to how it is.
357
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,467
Now.
358
00:12:40,567 --> 00:12:42,300
Presently.
359
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:43,200
Yes.
You know?
360
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,600
Yeah.
Do you understand?
361
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,067
To the present.
To the present.
To right now-- yeah.
362
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,633
Let's cheers.
Awesome.
363
00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:48,700
Awesome.
364
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,100
That's good-- You know what?
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
365
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,267
I'll be right back.
Alright, yeah.
Make room.
366
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,233
Hey, do you know where
the bathroom is?
Uh, there's one right over there
367
00:12:58,333 --> 00:12:58,833
and then there's one
down the stairs.
368
00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:00,400
Great, thanks.
369
00:13:01,733 --> 00:13:03,467
Oh, (bleep).
370
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:04,500
(bleep) me.
371
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,267
So what's that plant called?
That plant.
372
00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:08,933
Sansevieria.
"Senseverion."
373
00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:12,533
No, no.
(Bobbi)
I caught you.
374
00:13:12,633 --> 00:13:15,700
Oh, my sweet girl,
375
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,467
you surprised me
on my anniversary.
376
00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:20,067
Surprise...
377
00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:26,900
Look who I found tip toeing
around trying to surprise us.
378
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,167
Can you believe
this little sneak.
379
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,067
I'm-I'm sneakin'.
380
00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:32,267
Sit, sit.
Oh, um...
381
00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:33,467
Ab, have yourself a lei.
382
00:13:33,567 --> 00:13:36,200
Uh huh...
Bob and I are going
to Hawaii.
383
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:37,933
Thank you.
I surprised her.
384
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,300
(Arthur)
At first, she was mad
and then she was glad.
385
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,133
Just because now I need all new
sarongs, but, you know what,
386
00:13:43,233 --> 00:13:44,167
It's fine.
It's fine.
387
00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:45,800
I'm happy to go.
388
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:46,667
(kissing rapidly)
389
00:13:46,767 --> 00:13:49,067
You pretty little liar.
390
00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:51,533
Shania my ass.
391
00:13:51,633 --> 00:13:54,167
I'm not mad, though,
because you surprised my family.
392
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,967
I love this.
I love this!
393
00:13:57,067 --> 00:14:00,500
Everyone is happy
and nothing has changed.
394
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,133
I am very vulnerable right now,
so I'm gonna need to fill you in
395
00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:05,733
later when I'm not around...
(whistling)
396
00:14:05,833 --> 00:14:07,367
Cannot handle her questions.
397
00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:09,933
(Bobbi)
I guess we're just gonna have
to toast to honesty then, huh?
398
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:12,233
Uh, could we get lychee martinis
for the whole table.
(Arthur)
Great.
399
00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:13,900
Alright, are we ready to order?
400
00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:16,500
(Bobbi)
Yeah, Arthur, you go first.
Okay, well, I'm-
401
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,300
I'm gonna have the duck.
(waitress)
Mmm-hmm.
402
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,067
With extra breast.
403
00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:20,900
Wasn't that-- that was-
that was funny.
404
00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:23,067
(waitress)
Mmm, all right.
405
00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:25,933
(coughing)
I'm gonna have the chicken.
406
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,533
Please.
I love chicken.
407
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:30,600
(Ilana slurping)
(Eliot)
Uh, I'm gonna have the baked
408
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:32,633
portabella mushroom wellington,
please.
(Arthur)
Oh, I like that.
409
00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:35,600
(Bobbi)
I will have the prawns,
but I have to have
410
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:39,600
the curry sauce on the side.
I can't handle that kinda heat.
411
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,800
And...
412
00:14:41,900 --> 00:14:42,933
Pork chop, babe.
413
00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:43,967
Thank you.
414
00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:46,167
So, Abbi,
we have incredible news.
415
00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:48,900
Okay.
We got the cemetery plot!
416
00:14:49,067 --> 00:14:52,300
Wow.
(Arthur) We had a bidding war,
but it was totally worth it,
417
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,933
because we're under
this beautiful, beautiful tree.
418
00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:58,367
And, also, most of all, we are
nowhere near the Schwartz's.
419
00:14:58,467 --> 00:14:59,667
No.
(Bobbi and Arthur laughing)
420
00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:02,467
(slurping)
421
00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:07,867
Mazel.
Tov.
422
00:15:07,967 --> 00:15:08,900
(sharp inhale)
423
00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:11,067
Oh, man.
424
00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:12,167
Oh.
425
00:15:12,267 --> 00:15:14,267
I forgot to...
I need to pla--
426
00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:17,367
I need to replace my bandage.
'Cause it's fallen.
427
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:18,600
It's fallen loose.
428
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,333
Oh, it's ba--
it's gonna be bad if I don't go.
429
00:15:21,433 --> 00:15:22,300
Imma be right back.
Go to the bathroom.
430
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:26,700
Huh.
431
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,400
Hi, you have the wrong menu.
I'm just gonna take it.
432
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,600
This is great-- options.
You guys are cute.
433
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:38,533
Hey, there you are.
Hi.
434
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:40,567
Was gettin' worried
you fell in.
435
00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:41,900
I did.
It was a big toilet.
436
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:43,967
You did?
No, I didn't fall in.
437
00:15:44,067 --> 00:15:45,267
So, two things.
438
00:15:45,367 --> 00:15:47,933
One, I got you something.
439
00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:50,900
Oh-- okay.
440
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:53,467
It's a...
Corsage!
Yeah.
441
00:15:53,567 --> 00:15:54,100
You know how you said
you didn't go to prom?
442
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,867
Well...
Yeah.
443
00:15:55,967 --> 00:15:58,833
It's kind of a joke, but...
it's also real.
444
00:15:58,933 --> 00:15:59,833
Thank you.
That is so nice.
445
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:02,367
Put it on.
Here?
446
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:03,433
Yeah.
Uh, okay.
447
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:08,300
See, it's funny,
but it's also pretty.
448
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,100
You look awesome.
449
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,400
Uh, the other thing:
today I found out
450
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:15,533
I qualified for
"American Ninja Warrior."
451
00:16:15,633 --> 00:16:18,633
Shut up!
Trey, I (bleep) love that show.
452
00:16:18,733 --> 00:16:20,233
You do?
Yeah, are you kidding?
453
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:21,633
Congrats, this is amazing.
454
00:16:21,733 --> 00:16:22,867
You should come with me.
No...
455
00:16:22,967 --> 00:16:24,233
Yeah, you could totally
stretch me out or something.
456
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:26,800
Uh, yeah, I am
the master stretcher.
457
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,900
(Ilana laughing)
458
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:30,167
Come on.
459
00:16:30,267 --> 00:16:32,067
(grunting)
460
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:33,100
Mmmm.
461
00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:36,767
Mmmm.
462
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,367
Wow.
463
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,567
We'll start
with your legs.
Great.
464
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:44,267
And then I could stretch
the upper body.
465
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:46,467
We can start
wherever you want.
Okay.
466
00:16:46,567 --> 00:16:51,067
(breathing heavily)
467
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,867
Oh, this is so hot.
Yeah.
468
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:55,667
My wife's totally pumpin'
and dumpin' like 40 feet away.
469
00:16:55,767 --> 00:16:57,733
Really?
470
00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,600
Well...
471
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:01,367
For real.
Well, yeah.
472
00:17:01,467 --> 00:17:02,700
What'd you think?
473
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,933
Are you guys, like, chill,
or, like, open relationship?
474
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,567
What, are you retarded?
475
00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:09,600
Open relationships
are unstable.
476
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:10,567
Cheating is victimless.
477
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:14,367
Yeah-- this is...
this is done.
478
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,533
I don't even know
what I'm doing.
479
00:17:16,633 --> 00:17:18,433
And lose the nipple rings.
480
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:24,333
(sighs)
481
00:17:24,433 --> 00:17:26,233
Where were you,
Miss Ilana?
482
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:29,100
I was taking a (bleep)
if you have to know.
483
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:30,433
Ilana...
I have something to say.
484
00:17:30,533 --> 00:17:35,933
You guys must be a really
amazing team if you had two
485
00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:39,500
perfect children and have stayed
together for 35 years.
486
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,067
Wow.
It was quite a (bleep), huh?
487
00:17:42,167 --> 00:17:43,200
(Bobbi)
Ah, fresh Lychee's.
488
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:44,500
(Arthur)
Oh great.
(Bobbi)
Let's toast.
489
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,500
Oh, gosh.
Where's Abbi?
490
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,267
So, these are my twin sisters.
They're my best friends.
491
00:17:50,367 --> 00:17:51,833
I mean, they got all
the brains, honestly.
Mm-hm, lovely.
492
00:17:51,933 --> 00:17:53,733
It's just genetics,
you know?
493
00:17:53,833 --> 00:17:55,200
And, uh, they're teachers
right now.
494
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:56,500
They teach middle school.
Huh.
495
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,067
They pretend to be
the same person.
496
00:17:58,167 --> 00:18:00,233
It's genius.
Oh...
497
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:03,300
Whoa.
Uh-- hello.
498
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,300
Doctor?
499
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,900
What do you mean,
"Test results"?
500
00:18:06,067 --> 00:18:07,133
You have them.
501
00:18:07,233 --> 00:18:08,600
(whispering)
I have to get this--
this is important.
502
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,333
I'm so sorry, it's rude.
Take it, take the call.
503
00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:12,167
Okay.
I'll be right back.
504
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:15,700
She's always sick.
505
00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:18,600
(Ilana)
There she is.
506
00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:22,300
(Bobbi)
Fresh Lychee's, Ab.
507
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,200
Where'd you get
the corsage, Ab?
508
00:18:26,233 --> 00:18:28,267
I ran into my florist.
509
00:18:28,367 --> 00:18:32,633
"My florist," excuse me,
Queen of Sheba.
510
00:18:32,733 --> 00:18:34,633
Okay, back to business.
511
00:18:34,733 --> 00:18:35,933
Happy anniversary.
Happy anniversary!
512
00:18:36,067 --> 00:18:40,067
Happy anniversary!
You guys are just love!
513
00:18:43,233 --> 00:18:44,900
(sipping)
514
00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:48,167
Oh, Jesus.
515
00:18:48,267 --> 00:18:49,900
My diaphragm...
Shh, shh, shh.
516
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:52,767
I left it...
517
00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:54,133
Cathy comic.
518
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:56,500
I left my diaphragm.
Diaphragm?
519
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,700
Yeah, I've just
started using it.
520
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,933
And I gotta go 'cause
someone's gonna get it.
521
00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:03,600
(kiss)
522
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,867
What kind of
florist is this?
523
00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:09,833
She's cut off.
524
00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:14,433
Hey.
(clattering)
525
00:19:14,533 --> 00:19:16,667
Oh, (bleep).
You okay?
526
00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:18,400
You alright?
Whoo!
527
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:20,067
Okay.
528
00:19:20,133 --> 00:19:22,267
Yeah?
Okay.
529
00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:23,567
You're safe.
Cheers.
530
00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:26,067
Happy anniversary, right?
531
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,300
I can't believe
you remembered.
532
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,767
Remembered.
533
00:19:29,867 --> 00:19:31,833
Four weeks ago
was our first kiss.
534
00:19:31,933 --> 00:19:32,967
(sighs)
535
00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:37,633
I... obviously remember
when we kissed first.
536
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:39,933
(sighs)
537
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:41,633
(inhaling deeply)
538
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:48,133
Yeah.
You know, just gonna...
539
00:19:48,233 --> 00:19:49,700
(cracking)
Ooh.
540
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,533
Why thank you.
Oh, that's great.
541
00:19:50,633 --> 00:19:52,900
Where's Abbi?
I'm starving.
542
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,100
(whispering)
Trey.
543
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,400
(sighing)
I'm getting emotional
right now.
544
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,867
And I don't want you
to see me like this.
545
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:04,767
Hey, it's okay.
No, I don't want you
to see me like this.
546
00:20:04,867 --> 00:20:06,033
Okay.
547
00:20:06,133 --> 00:20:07,400
I'm gonna go to
the coat room or something.
548
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:08,233
Okay.
I'm not feeling--
549
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,767
We need to think
about us.
550
00:20:10,867 --> 00:20:11,900
Wow.
Okay.
I'm gonna be right back.
551
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,500
Alright, hey,
take as long as you need.
552
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,967
Okay, I will--
I'm gonna.
Okay.
553
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:24,700
Oh, here she is.
554
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,967
Sorry, there was a long line
at the (bleep) factory.
555
00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:29,233
Oh, Abbi.
556
00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:30,733
(laughing)
557
00:20:30,833 --> 00:20:32,900
Okay.
Eat, Abbi.
558
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,567
(sighing)
559
00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:38,000
Well, um, with this rare
moment of silence, um,
560
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,133
there is something
I'd like to share.
561
00:20:40,233 --> 00:20:41,633
Um--
(gagging and coughing)
562
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:44,733
(Eliot)
Mom?
(wheezing)
563
00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:46,567
(Eliot and Ilana)
Mom, are you okay?
564
00:20:46,667 --> 00:20:48,133
Mom, are you okay?
Honey...
565
00:20:48,233 --> 00:20:49,533
(Ilana)
She's choking!
She's choking-- help.
566
00:20:49,633 --> 00:20:51,600
(Ilana)
She's choking.
She's choking, help!
567
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,367
Help, somebody, please help.
568
00:20:53,467 --> 00:20:54,433
Trey, Trey, help!
569
00:20:54,533 --> 00:20:55,867
(Abbi and the Wexlers
calling out)
570
00:20:55,967 --> 00:20:57,167
Coming!
(Eliot)
Please, somebody.
571
00:20:57,267 --> 00:20:58,833
(Arthur)
Somebody help!
572
00:20:58,933 --> 00:21:00,067
(Arthur)
Somebody!
(Ilana)
Does anybody know CPR?
573
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:04,633
(all shouting)
574
00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:09,867
Here we go!
Work with me.
575
00:21:09,967 --> 00:21:14,900
Hoh!
576
00:21:15,067 --> 00:21:15,733
(Abbi)
Oh, my God.
(Arthur)
Jesus.
577
00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:16,667
(Arthur)
Are you okay, honey?
578
00:21:16,767 --> 00:21:18,600
(Bobbi groaning)
Can you breath?
579
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:19,600
(Abbi)
Are you okay?
580
00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:21,633
Oh, god damn lychee.
581
00:21:21,733 --> 00:21:24,067
Oh, Jesus,
that was (bleep) scary.
582
00:21:24,133 --> 00:21:25,433
(Eliot)
Sit down.
You okay?
583
00:21:25,533 --> 00:21:26,500
Yeah.
(Eliot)
Take it easy.
584
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:27,467
Thank you.
You're welcome.
585
00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:30,567
Thank you.
(sighing)
586
00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:32,733
Trey?
Who the (bleep) is Trey?
587
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,067
(gasping)
Kirk Steele.
588
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:38,900
Abbi, how did you know
Trey was here?
589
00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:39,967
Oh.
590
00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:41,067
We're on a date.
591
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,167
Oh my God.
592
00:21:43,267 --> 00:21:46,067
This is not...
Oh my God.
593
00:21:46,167 --> 00:21:47,600
Oh my God!
594
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:49,267
The condom in your room?
595
00:21:49,367 --> 00:21:51,467
(scoffs)
The whole time?
596
00:21:51,567 --> 00:21:52,967
The whole time?
597
00:21:53,067 --> 00:21:55,333
The whole time!
598
00:21:55,433 --> 00:21:56,567
I have to go.
599
00:21:56,667 --> 00:21:58,600
I have to leave now.
I have to go.
600
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,767
Ilana, wait.
601
00:22:02,867 --> 00:22:05,267
Okay, show's over.
602
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:07,767
Uh, guys, I have some
big news to share.
603
00:22:07,867 --> 00:22:09,733
What?
Um, I got a promotion
604
00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:11,900
and I'm moving to London.
605
00:22:12,067 --> 00:22:14,500
No you're not.
Sit down and eat your dinner.
606
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,067
Yes.
607
00:22:16,133 --> 00:22:16,967
(sighs)
608
00:22:17,067 --> 00:22:19,267
(whining)
Madonna, Rihanna, Ilana.
609
00:22:19,367 --> 00:22:20,400
Madonna, Rihanna, Ilana.
610
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:23,167
Hey.
Ilana, I am so sorry.
611
00:22:23,267 --> 00:22:25,067
Dude, I should have
told you about Trey.
612
00:22:25,133 --> 00:22:27,833
I don't know, I was like--
I was embarrassed and,
613
00:22:27,933 --> 00:22:29,767
dude he does not
mean anything to me.
614
00:22:29,867 --> 00:22:32,267
He is a guilty pleasure.
He's like a joke.
615
00:22:34,767 --> 00:22:36,133
Trey, no, no, wait-- wait.
616
00:22:36,233 --> 00:22:38,733
I'm not a joke, Abbi.
617
00:22:38,833 --> 00:22:39,933
I thought we were
having fun and--
618
00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,900
We were-- I was having
a really good time.
619
00:22:42,067 --> 00:22:43,767
This really sucks, you know.
620
00:22:45,367 --> 00:22:46,633
I'm gonna go.
621
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:47,833
Wait, hold on.
622
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:49,667
Trey, I did not mean like joke,
like, like that.
623
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,200
Ilana, I'm so sorry.
624
00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:56,833
I will never keep a secret
from you again.
625
00:22:56,933 --> 00:22:58,067
I promise.
You're my best friend.
626
00:22:58,133 --> 00:23:00,433
I-I-I-- it was just coincidence.
I know, I know.
627
00:23:00,533 --> 00:23:01,867
It's not even that.
I was gonna tell you, I swear.
628
00:23:01,967 --> 00:23:03,067
It's not even that.
629
00:23:03,167 --> 00:23:05,700
That's not even it
even though it was really...
630
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:06,933
jarring and...
631
00:23:07,067 --> 00:23:09,067
and I, like, didn't know what
was going on
632
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:10,433
and he's so sweet, you know.
633
00:23:10,533 --> 00:23:14,700
And, like, tight body
and I'm gonna want full
634
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:18,833
dick deets when I'm done
feeling, but, um...
635
00:23:18,933 --> 00:23:20,667
Lincoln broke up with me.
636
00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:23,500
(sighs)
Whatever that means, you know?
637
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:27,733
My God, I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry.
638
00:23:27,833 --> 00:23:30,500
He met some
beautiful queen...
A real queen?
639
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,067
No, a queen like,
like us.
640
00:23:33,167 --> 00:23:34,300
You know, he wants to be
monogamous with her
641
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,067
and he should.
642
00:23:36,167 --> 00:23:37,100
He deserves
whatever he wants.
643
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,800
(crying)
644
00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:41,900
And he doesn't even
want to be friends.
645
00:23:42,067 --> 00:23:44,333
You know,
he never really did.
646
00:23:44,433 --> 00:23:46,867
I just never heard it.
647
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:49,600
Okay.
It's gonna be okay.
648
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:50,967
(crying)
649
00:23:51,067 --> 00:23:57,567
Okay, now is the time
you tell me dick deets.
650
00:23:57,667 --> 00:23:59,733
He's not responding to my texts.
651
00:23:59,833 --> 00:24:01,967
I guess I'm just gonna have to
apologize at work.
652
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:05,067
Okay, what else have
I been keeping a secret?
653
00:24:05,167 --> 00:24:09,367
I think that I was starting
to kinda like Trey.
654
00:24:09,467 --> 00:24:10,500
Like...
like-like?
655
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,367
Like, like-like.
Oof!
656
00:24:15,467 --> 00:24:16,133
That (bleep) sucks.
657
00:24:16,233 --> 00:24:18,767
Yeah.
658
00:24:18,867 --> 00:24:21,200
Um, I'm really attracted
659
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:23,800
to pre-Weight Watchers
Jennifer Hudson.
660
00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:26,900
I once keyed
this guy's car, uh,
661
00:24:27,067 --> 00:24:28,933
because he called me
a dirty Jew.
I hate that.
662
00:24:29,067 --> 00:24:32,067
So, I keyed a big
Star of David
663
00:24:32,167 --> 00:24:34,067
right onto his
driver-side door.
664
00:24:34,133 --> 00:24:37,333
I got super blazed before
babysitting Oliver...
665
00:24:37,433 --> 00:24:39,233
(sighs)
666
00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:40,767
and...
667
00:24:40,867 --> 00:24:42,800
I took off my bra 'cause I was,
like, feeling loose and, like,
668
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:46,467
oppressed and wanted to,
like, chill and I left
669
00:24:46,567 --> 00:24:48,200
my bra in his room.
670
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:49,933
(laughing)
671
00:24:50,067 --> 00:24:52,067
That was probably a whole
thing that you never
672
00:24:52,100 --> 00:24:54,467
found out about again,
because you couldn't admit it.
673
00:24:54,567 --> 00:24:55,667
(sighing)
674
00:24:55,767 --> 00:24:57,967
You can't admit...
No, and then, like...
675
00:24:58,067 --> 00:25:00,733
like, who knows?
Right, it wasn't sexual.
676
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,267
But I'm just like...
Yeah, but, no offense--
no offense...
677
00:25:02,367 --> 00:25:04,400
That's a bra.
678
00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:05,233
Oh.
679
00:25:05,333 --> 00:25:06,800
(together)
That's a bra!
680
00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:07,100
(laughing)
681
00:25:14,367 --> 00:25:16,733
Sometimes you have to
pick your nose.
682
00:25:16,833 --> 00:25:19,500
Sometimes?
(laughing)
683
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,533
Sometimes?
684
00:25:20,633 --> 00:25:22,967
You have to, sometimes.
I have to do it.
685
00:25:23,067 --> 00:25:24,167
Sometimes you
have to pick your--
686
00:25:24,267 --> 00:25:25,800
(laughing)
You're...
47055
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