Original subtitles

Look at this, Chief.

List of the people who were in that club, the one that was raided last night.

-Anybody we're after? -There's a Mary Smith on it.

I got a hunch it's Judge Smith's daughter.

Judge Smith's daughter in a joint like that? You're crazy.

-Somebody said they recognized her. -Recognized her? How?

The old gent won't even let her picture be public.

Let alone go out by herself.

Especially now that he is out for the presidential nomination.

That's just it. Now's our chance to pounce on the old bird.

How do you know the girl hasn't cut loose?

And now, gentlemen, I should like to propose a toast.

At all these organization dinners, we have been entertained by a hostess

whose charm is only exceeded by her beauty.

And I'm sure that no one here will think me premature

if I offer a toast to Mary Smith.

The next first lady of the land.

-Success to you, Mary. -And your father. Good luck.

Good evening. Would you tell Mr. Smith his secretary must see him at once?

It's very important. I'll wait in the study.

-Yes, Chester, what is it? -May I see you alone, sir?

Oh, that's my brother, Professor Hannibal Smith.

How do you do? Don't mind me, I'm the poor relation.

Mr. Smith, there was a gambling place that was raided last night.

Yes.

The newspapers have a list of the people who were there.

How does that concern me? I never frequent such places.

Your daughter's name is on that list, sir.

My daughter?

You're insane. My daughter wouldn't think of setting foot in...

Well, I thought so, too.

But here's the list.

And the newspapers are checking up all those names.

Probably some other Mary Smith. I'll send for my daughter.

Needn't bother, Horace. I'm afraid it was our little Mary, all right.

You saw her, I suppose.

-I took her. -You took her?

-Will you please explain that? -Sure.

Now, you see, I felt sorry for her.

I'll bet that girl hasn't talked to a man under 60 since she left school.

I thought it was time that she should see how the younger half lived.

I've asked you many times, Hannibal, to please stay out of my affairs.

This is an unnatural existence for a girl, Horace.

-Mary's perfectly happy. -Oh, don't be an idiot.

She's just trying to be loyal to your bigoted notions.

-It's dreadful. -Do you realize what you've done?

A scandal like this can cost me the nomination.

-Mary in a gambling raid. -We didn't gamble.

We just danced.

And did she have a time!

Say, they had a jam session last night that would have done your heart good.

Oh, when I think of the years I've wasted teaching political economy.

Hannibal, sometimes I think you are in your second childhood.

Well, come on in, the water is fine.

Here, let me see that.

I hope they didn't leave my name off the list of jitterbugs.

Jitterbugs? What in heaven's name is that?

Deputies of the finer arts. Doggone it, they left me out.

Friends of the flat foot floogie with a floy, floy.

What are you talking about?

Oh, my poor benighted brother doesn't know what a jitterbug is.

-Jitterbug. -That's it, sir.

I'll send for a psychiatrist.

Goodbye, Horace.

-What's the matter with him? -Is he crazy?

Never mind about him. A dreadful thing has happened.

Close the doors.

You're a fool, Mary.

Letting yourself be hustled out of town this way.

What am I to do, Uncle Hannibal? Break his heart?

Newspapers get too inquisitive,

he's going to tell them I've been in Palm Beach for weeks.

Your poor father is in over his head. Oh, stop him, before it's too late.

He wants that nomination so desperately.

-Sometimes it frightens me. -Yeah. I know.

You had a good time last night, didn't you?

Marvelous. The raid was thrilling.

Palm Beach out of season is going to be awfully dull.

That's right, rub it in.

If you can find a young plumber or somebody lying around loose down there,

you take my advice and grab him.

You think you'd know how to talk to a young plumber?

Shut up!

Hannibal.

Mary, we have Mr. Dillon's airplane all ready.

Excuse me.

Two maids are in Palm Beach opening the house. They'll take care of you.

I can't understand what got into you, Mary.

Good heavens, Father, what did I do that was so dreadful?

I tried to make it clear

that without Henderson's support, my nomination is impossible.

And you know how he'd react to a scandal of any kind.

And what am I supposed to do? Live like a prisoner

because Henderson is a narrow-minded fool?

-Mary. -I'm sorry, Father, but it isn't fair to me.

I don't see anyone, and I don't go anywhere.

This is the first time I've been out in two years.

And then I had to go with Uncle Hannibal.

I can't allow you to destroy something that I've worked on for years.

Or perhaps you'd rather I give up the whole idea.

-Sometimes I wish you would. -Why, Mary!

Maybe we can go back to living like normal human beings again

where we don't have to be under a microscope all the time.

Oh, Father, we used to have so much fun before you went into politics.

Remember those wonderful summers on the farm?

Don't be absurd, Mary. This is a great tribute.

There'd be nothing left for me if this fell through.

Mr. Smith, the reporters are downstairs.

Get the bags. Come, Mary.

You better go down the back way. I've got a car waiting.

-Bye, Uncle Hannibal. -Goodbye.

Don't forget about the plumber.

-Elly. -Yes, miss?

Do you play any card games at all?

Let's see. Casino, miss.

Casino? I'd love to play casino.

-Do you mind playing with me? -I'd love to but...

-You have a date? -Oh, it's nothing, miss. I can break it.

It's only with one of the fellows at the rodeo.

-A cowboy? -Yes, miss.

I wouldn't think of letting you break it. Have a good time.

Oh, thank you, miss.

-Elly. -Yes, miss?

Has he got a friend?

Why, yes, miss. Katie's got him.

I mean, I promised Katie. You see, it's a blind date, miss.

Blind date? Sounds marvelous.

Katie, I was just trying to induce Elly to take me on your blind date.

-You, miss? -Yes.

Oh...

I don't think that you'd want to do that, Miss Mary.

Oh, no. You don't want to do that.

-Why not? -These are cowboys.

-Yeah, and they're awful particular. -Snobs, eh?

No, no. That ain't it.

They'd be kind of scared of somebody like you.

-When a man's scared... -Scared?

Well, you see...

You gotta give a fellow a little co-operation once in a while.

What she's trying to say is that

they're liable to think you're a cold fish.

That's all right, Katie. Perhaps they'd be right.

But what do you think?

Huh?

Do you think I'm a cold fish?

Why, I...

-Well... -Go on, Katie, I don't mind.

Well, you don't exactly sizzle, miss.

What do you think I better do about it?

Gosh, I don't know, Miss Mary.

But it's not your fault. You've got it in you all right.

But you've been held down so much that...

Yeah.

Me and Katie talk about it a lot.

That's right.

We've always felt kind of sorry for you, Miss Mary.

Thank you.

Gosh.

If you really want to go, miss, we'll fix it up for you.

Sure, we'll give you a couple of pointers and you might get by.

-Yeah, we'll show you our system. -You got a system?

-Sure. -Well, it's a sort of a system.

Depends on what you run up against.

For instance, he's the cold type, keeps giving you the icy stare.

Well, if you've made up your mind

that you're going to make him kiss you or bust,

start out by flattering him.

That's maneuver number one.

I see, maneuver number one, flattery.

-I'll remember that. -That's it.

Now, if that doesn't work, you make him talk about himself.

That's number two.

But a man can't talk about himself and kiss you at the same time.

No, but eventually he's going to talk himself out, isn't he?

-I suppose so. -Tell her about number three.

Number three is sure-fire.

Of course, you want to use that in case of emergency.

-Tell him a hard luck story. -Work on his sympathy, eh?

That's just like money in the bank, miss.

Just tell him what a hard time you've had of it and how you've had to suffer.

Then if you sneak in a little tear or two, he's yours.

-You think you can do it? -I'll try.

We've got to hurry. It's in West Palm Beach.

-What are you gonna wear? -A little plaid...

-Elly, which one is mine? -I don't know.

Hiya, Stretch.

-Glad to roll on you, boy. -Glad myself, son.

Got to take it in you. How are you sitting, Sugar?

-I'm raring to go. -All right, Buzz, unchain him.

Okay, Stretch, he's all yours.

Hey.

Get yourself a load of this. Now this really gets them.

Uh-uh.

-Now, you can't get nowhere without it. -I don't wanna go nowheres.

Oh, come on, Stretch, it'll smell you up pretty.

I always thought I smelled pretty naturally.

You go ahead, I'm going to stay here.

You're staying here? Why, we thought you was going with us.

Sure, we've got a gal all set for you.

I've got to write this letter about Bess.

Why? What's the matter with Bess?

Well, she's due to drop a foal in a month.

Oh, that's a month away.

-We're talking about tonight. -Yeah.

Three gals and two guys ain't right.

Come on and take up the slack, would you, Stretch?

What do you got against gals, anyhow?

Oh, they chew your ears off.

Well, maybe you'll get a break and get a dumb one.

-Yeah. -That kind ain't been born yet.

What are we going to do with that extra filly?

Well, I guess that messes up the whole works.

Hope you two buzzards ain't gonna break into tears.

He's going to be kind of lonesome sitting here with nothing to do.

I guess I ain't going to get this letter written anyway.

Come on.

-This place is terrific. -No need for suspense, miss.

One cowhand is just like another.

Hey, there's Buzz. Come on.

-Hello, Buzz. How are you? -Hello, Elly.

Say, Elly, I want you to meet my friends.

-Stretch and Sugar. -How do you do?

-I want you to meet Mary and Katie. -Hiya, fellows. Hi.

Katie, I want you and my pal Stretch here to become good friends.

That shouldn't be very hard.

And you with her.

Hiya, honey. Go on and get some chow.

That'll put hair on your chest.

Hey, shove over, will you, Lenny?

Sit down, honey. Sit right down here.

-Great chili. -That's yours, Stretch. Sit right down.

Get your girls out of my chili. I'm gonna hang up the runner.

Okay.

Hey, I hope you're a little shorter sitting down.

Katie, he's nice.

You mean my guy? If you want him, he's yours.

Like I always say, one cowhand is just like another.

-What's going on here? -Nothing.

-Sit down. -Hello, Sugar.

Come on, sit down. Oh, come on, honey. Say, you need building up.

Why, there ain't a pick on you.

I'll bet you don't weigh over 147 pounds.

Why, doggone me, if you ain't guessed my weight within a pound.

Oh, I can guess the weight of any man

within five pounds just by looking at him.

-So... -Ain't never failed yet.

You know, I think I'm going to like you.

Yeah?

I've seen lots of good riding, steeplechasing and jumping.

But you're about the best I've seen yet.

Yeah?

I got awfully excited when you threw that steer.

Yeah?

I was scared. I screamed. Didn't you hear me?

No.

Oh, this will burn the lining right out of your stomach.

You haven't touched your chili. Maybe you don't like it.

Oh, I love it but it's pretty hot.

-It's sure hot. -Oh, I'm so glad we agree at last.

Yeah.

Listen, you couldn't get very familiar and tell me your name?

Sure, Stretch.

You know...

-Like this. -I see.

Well, my name's Mary Smith.

-It's a nice name, Mary Smith. -You like it?

-Sure, I like it fine. -Oh, I'm so glad you like it.

Now, what's your name?

I just told you, Stretch.

-Oh, Stretch. -Yeah, what did I say?

Oh, that's a marvelous name, I love it.

-Stretch. Hiya, Stretch. -Hiya, Mary.

Say, Buzz, would you play a ukulele for me sometime?

Sure will, sometime tonight.

Maybe we better go around to the back door.

This is the back door.

What's it doing on the front of the house?

-Come on, boys. -Where are you going, Elly?

Well, how do you like it, boys? This is my outfit.

-Jiminy Christmas. -Great commissary.

These people must spend all their time eating.

Oh, no. They don't eat much, do they, Elly?

Not much. They're all the time worrying about their diets.

Well, they've got a lot of expensive equipment for starving themselves.

Hang me for a cattle thief.

You're some general to run a shebang like this.

Oh, nothing to it, Sugar.

Come on, I'll show you around.

-What's this thing for? -That makes orange juice.

Scares it right out of them, don't it?

What's that part? A ice box?

-Oh, that's a... -The dishwasher.

Go on, turn it on. It's cute.

What's going on inside?

-Washing dishes. -Oh, yeah?

-Come on, I'll get you a towel. -Look at you.

Dishwasher, huh?

That thing's liable to give me a death of cold.

-I ought to have a drink. -Well, step into my corral.

Hey!

Gosh.

You got to watch yourself around here. You'll be ambushed by a bunch of gadgets.

Hey, have you seen this one, Sugar?

Where are they?

They're gone.

What do you work at around here?

-I'm a lady's maid. -Lady's maid?

Where's your outfit?

-Upstairs. Would you like to see it? -Sure.

-And me just a cowboy. -You're cute, too.

Hey, that doesn't belong to you. What will the boss say?

Well, Buzz has got a little cold, and I thought that...

Elly tells me she's got a pull with the boss.

-Of course she has. -Say,

I know a certain cowboy Elly's got a pull with, too.

-Have some. -What's that? Champagne?

Mmm-hmm.

I had some once. It ain't bad.

Gee whiz.

Some place, huh?

Look.

-Lovely, isn't it? -Sure is.

-Have you been in any other rodeos? -No.

Where's your home?

Is it far away?

-Montana. -Really?

What's it like? Tell me all about it.

Come on in.

-Gee whiz, I'm sorry. -Oh, that's all right.

Have you got another dress?

I know what I'll do. I'll borrow one from my mistress.

Well, you better not do that. You'll get in a jam.

It's all right, she's out of town.

What do you do for this lady you work for?

Help her dress.

-What is she, a cripple? -No.

Gee whiz, what kind of a...

-What did you say? -Nothing.

-How old is your boss? -About my age.

-Married? -No.

-What's she waiting around for? -She hasn't found the right man yet.

-Like it? -Sure do.

-How much? -Considerable.

Sit down. You're going to tell me all about yourself.

Well, I can't make out just what kind of girl you are.

-I'm just a working girl. -Well, you are and you aren't.

I guess being around rich people has got you mixed up.

Don't you ever get mixed up, Stretch?

Not about things that matter.

Do you always know what you want?

-Sure do. -What?

I want a spread of my own,

a ranch that will run about 1,000 head of cattle

in a pretty valley with a trout stream running through the middle.

-And a nice house. -And nobody else?

-Sometime, maybe a wife. -And children?

You bet.

I better go down to the station and see that Dusty gets on the train all right.

All right, Stretch, Dusty wins.

-Well, I guess you are not going. -I guess not.

-Would you like to go out on the terrace? -Yeah.

-I'll be with you in a moment. -All right.

-How you doing? -Very badly.

-Your system's no good. -Have you tried number three yet?

-What is it? I've forgotten it. -Hard luck story.

That's right, hard luck story.

I envy you, Stretch.

Nothing on your mind but your job.

No troubles, no responsibilities.

I wish my life was as simple as all that.

Isn't it?

You don't look to me like a girl who's had a tough time of it.

You don't think so, huh?

That's funny.

That's really very funny.

Oh, I'm sorry, I meant that...

That's all right, Stretch.

Maybe if you'd tell me something about yourself...

No, I wouldn't want to burden you with my troubles.

Might be good to get it off your chest. Maybe I can help.

You're very kind.

Is it your family?

Mmm-hmm.

-Father mostly. -Your father?

His drinking.

His drinking.

Night after night, sometimes for weeks without stopping.

Can't something be done about him?

It's no use, we've tried.

No ambition. No will power.

-Hasn't worked in 12 years. -12 years?

Who supports him?

Any more in the family?

-Any more? -Any more children?

-Oh, yes. Five. -Five?

Well, that is five including me.

Don't any of them work? Why not?

-All girls. -And you're the oldest?

Gosh.

Four kid sisters.

-And you support them all? -Oh, not that I mind.

They're such darlings, all of them.

But sometimes it's a bit hard.

I can imagine.

Last year for instance,

when both Dotty and Henrietta were down with the measles.

At the same time?

It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't been out of work.

But what with the doctor's bills piling up...

Sometimes, I just don't know how I can go on.

Poor kid.

You're so understanding.

Gee willikers, that's a pretty dress.

We got to load the horses first thing in the morning.

-There's plenty of time before 6:00... -No, we got to go now. Here's your hat.

Hey, no more of that.

-Oh, just one more of that. -Oh, yeah.

-Well, Sugar. -So long, honey.

Goodbye, honey.

Shucks.

So long, sister. Come on, Stretch.

Yippee.

Cowboy,

give them men a hand with the hay.

Hey, Stretch,

get yourself packed. We got this stuff all over.

Say, Buzz, does this stuff really get them?

It snares them, but it won't trap them.

-I mean for keeps. -I wouldn't be knowing about that.

-Say, what are you talking about? -Oh, nothing.

Hey, if it's for keeps, you got to get down on your knees

and spout poetry.

-You tried it? -I tried it once,

but I got a crick in my knee so I give it up.

Throw my stuff in the bag and bring it to the boat.

We'll meet you there.

-We? -Me and the missus.

-Oh, gee. -What's the matter?

-Oh, he's coming up the beach. -Who?

Yours, daddy longlegs.

Oh.

You better go along. I'll see him alone.

That old buzzard, he told me they were going to Galveston.

Hello.

Hello.

I was just going around to the kitchen to look for you.

-Were you? -Yeah.

Oh, the boss is back, huh?

Oh, yes. Early this morning.

It's sure pretty here.

-Suppose she'd mind if we sat down? -No.

I thought you were leaving for Galveston this morning.

No, we're shoving off this afternoon.

-Gee, I kind of hate to leave here. -Do you?

You see, last night, I got to thinking...

Look, Mary...

Gee whiz.

-I'm sorry. -Oh, that's all right.

Is that you smelling so pretty?

Oh, first time I ever wore any of this stuff.

-Do you like it? -Yes.

When I was coming down here, I kept looking around behind me

to see who was smelling up the place. It was me all the time.

Like Ma Hawkins was telling me,

she's the one that feeds us out at the ranch,

she was telling me about the time Jim came to ask for her hand.

He got all spruced up and smelling like a barber shop,

and when he got to her front gate, why, all the dogs in town was tailing him.

There aren't any dogs following me, I hope.

No.

I guess I didn't put enough on.

Look, Mary, we're leaving today,

and I was thinking that...

You ever been out in my part of the country?

-No. -It's beautiful.

A girl like you would be crazy about it, and I was figuring that

if it's okay with you, well,

Ma Hawkins could put you up until I got my house finished and...

I started to build it just before I left,

just in case.

And I thought that after a while, if we wanted to,

we could change things around.

That... That sounds wonderful, Stretch.

Next summer, when I get my vacation, that's exactly where I'll go,

out to your place.

-Next summer? -Yes.

We could have some more evenings like last night.

I had a wonderful time. Didn't you?

I was just telling the girls this morning, I was saying,

the next blind date we go on, we'd be lucky if we meet such nice fellows.

-The next blind date? -Yes.

You don't know what trouble a girl has.

Sometimes you meet the most awful people.

Well, I guess I was all wrong.

All wrong?

It sounded like you were on the level last night,

like it really meant something to you.

Off course it did. I never had so much fun in all my life.

Oh, that's all it was, huh?

Well, I...

I always knew that cowpunchers were just supposed to be half-human, but...

Well, I guess I had it coming to me. You see,

I don't go out with girls much,

generally because I don't like the way they think.

I joined the show because I thought maybe somewhere I'd run into one of them that

didn't measure everything by how many men she kissed in a week.

I guess that sounds funny to you.

Please, Stretch...

If you don't mind, I think I'll get going.

I kind of feel like I need a bath.

On second thought, I think you're the one who needs a bath.

-How are you, Miss Mary? -Are you all right?

-Boy, he's got a lot of nerve. -I'd like to take a sock at him.

I always knew fooling around with cowhands was a mistake. Why...

-Well, he's got her hooked. -What do you know about that lunkhead?

He used maneuver number four.

He'd better get here pretty soon. We're pulling out in five minutes.

Here he comes. Hey, Stretch!

Well, it's about time.

What happened?

Stretch.

-I came to see you off. -No call for you to do that.

-But listen, Stretch, I want to explain. -No need to explain anything.

Well, glad to have met you.

Stand by your spring line.

Hello, Stretch.

Please, Stretch, if you'd just let me talk to you.

Would you mind letting me into my room?

There's something I've got to get straightened out.

Please let me talk to you for a few minutes and I won't bother you anymore.

You stubborn mule.

Well, you're going to listen to me if I have to dog your footsteps

for the rest of your life.

Busy place.

-What's going on? -I'm dogging his footsteps.

That's better.

You shouldn't have come on this trip.

-How long is it? -Oh, about 68 hours.

I suppose it'll take me all that time to get myself straightened out with you.

Say, what about your job? You might lose it.

Oh, no, that'll be all right.

Listen, Stretch, that's what I want to talk to you about,

about my being a lady's maid.

Poor lady.

She'll have to dress herself for a couple of days.

I bet she'll be all tuckered out.

You shouldn't talk like that. She's not so bad.

You might like her.

Uh-uh.

When I worked on that dude ranch, I met plenty of her kind.

Show horses.

What are they good for, except to dress up and look pretty?

Give me a workhorse, every time. Like Bess, that little mare of mine.

You're a lot like Bess.

What I mean is,

the way you have to take care of your father and all those kids.

That's the load you've got to carry, and you do it without squawking.

A woman like your boss,

well, she ain't rigged right to carry her part of the load.

That's the first time I've ever heard horses compared to people.

Well, good horses are nice people.

You betcha, good horses are swell people.

Wanna know where Miss Mary is? On the way to Galveston.

-To Galveston? -This wire just came from the boat.

Says she doesn't want anybody to know where she is

and that she's coming home soon.

Oh, gosh. This is awful.

We should have never taken her out on that there blind date.

Never.

Hello? Yes.

It's Washington calling. Must be her father.

-Her father? -Yes, Operator, that's right. Mary Smith.

When you get her, ask her how the plumber situation is.

Plumber situation, yes, sir.

There will be a dinner for the members of the committee

and their wives on Tuesday.

-Then on Saturday, the one for Henderson. -Are you certain Henderson will come?

I've already spoken to him. He said he'd be pleased to come.

Just a minute, please. She isn't in, sir.

I'll take it.

Hello, this is Judge Smith.

Never mind.

Just tell her when she comes in this evening

that we are all leaving tomorrow

or the day following and are coming down to Palm Beach.

Coming here, sir?

-They're all coming down here. -Oh, my gosh.

Oh, yes, sir. I'm listening.

Just tell her that Henderson is coming down, too.

She'll be so happy to know we're all coming.

Oh, yes, sir.

I know she'll be very happy.

Yes, sir.

Oh, yes, I'll tell her everything.

Goodbye.

Well, I don't know what you're going to do,

but I'm going to start looking for a new job.

Me, too.

-Hello, hello. -Hello.

Hello.

Say, too bad we couldn't give you a moon.

-Oh, the fog's all right. -Maybe it's better.

-Well, Stretch. -Well.

-I'll see you in the morning. Good night. -Good night.

I hate this good night. It's our last one.

Well, we can take another turn around the deck.

But we can't do this forever.

-Couldn't sleep. -Couldn't sleep.

We seem to be giving each other insomnia.

-What time is it? -About 3:30.

That's a fishing boat. We're getting close to Galveston.

I wish Galveston would stay away.

We're going awfully slow on account of the fog.

I love the fog.

It shuts out the rest of the world.

You're shivering. I'll get you a drink.

I'll get you my coat.

This will warm you up.

Feel better?

Tastes terrible but feels wonderful.

You know, Stretch, you and I are poles apart.

If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me at all.

And yet, I'd rather be with you than with anyone else. Isn't that funny?

Say that again.

I'd have to have another drink before I could say all that again.

Oh, no.

Water.

And now I can't remember what I said.

But I know this. I love you, Stretch.

I love you very much.

-You sure? -Yes.

You're not mixed up about that?

No, that's the one thing I'm not mixed up about.

-We're going to find the Captain. -What for?

Because where I come from,

when a man feels about a girl the way I feel about you,

they get married.

Come on.

Stretch Willoughby,

do you take this woman to be your wedded wife?

I do.

Mary Smith.

Do you take this man to be your wedded husband?

I do.

Then I now pronounce you man and wife.

This day, passengers Stretch Willoughby and Mary Smith were married.

That's all.

Yeah, okay.

Fog signal is off the port bow, Captain.

Very well.

I, Stretch, take thee, Mary, to be my wedded wife,

to have and to hold from this day forward,

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health.

To love and cherish till death do us part.

The Captain forgot to say that.

We dock in about 30 minutes.

-Well, I got all my stuff. -Hey.

You don't suppose she married him for his money, do you?

What money?

Well, he's got a job, ain't he?

Yeah, I never thought of that.

-Well, hello. -Hello.

I ain't had a chance to congratulate you, Mrs. Willoughby.

-Thank you. -Me, too.

-Thank you. -See you later, Stretch.

So long.

Isn't very much, is it?

I love it, Stretch.

We won't be here long.

We'll be leaving for the ranch as soon as I can quit the show.

Stretch.

-Chief wants to see you. -Okay.

Don't mind being alone, do you?

Oh, no. I'm going to be very busy cleaning up here.

Yeah, they're gonna be hard to handle.

Out.

Step on it, lady.

Thank you very much.

Careful, going in front of this horn, you may lose him.

Get your weight on the end of his horn and down he comes.

See what I mean?

Wish you weren't leaving the show, Stretch.

Couple more weeks with you and I could beat the whole bunch.

Sorry, Skeeter.

When I joined this outfit, I was hunting for something.

And the hunt's over.

I'll be back to the ranch in a week.

Let it go, huh?

Want soap?

You got to be quick, lady. You got to be quick.

Well, I guess I need a complete new outfit.

If you need them, we got them, sister.

Here's a pair I bet will fit you.

A mule team couldn't tear them.

Hey, Mary.

You're the one I'm looking for. You're wanted on the phone.

-Phone? -Yeah, it's Katie. She says it's important.

You should have heard her when I told her you were married.

You told her?

Yeah, I thought she was going to choke right on the phone.

Where is it?

Right there. The phone booth is next to the door.

Hey, sister, how about putting back my britches?

Hello? Yes, yes, operator.

-Hello, Katie. -Oh, Miss Mary.

Oh, I phoned you every place in Galveston.

Something terrible has happened.

Your father is coming down here.

Father's coming to Palm Beach? When?

I don't know, Katie. Wait a minute. I can't think straight.

Better not tell him anything.

Oh, no, I can't come back now, Katie.

Mr. Henderson is coming down, too.

And if it comes out that you and Stretch are married,

well, you know what that means.

You don't want to break your father's heart, Miss Mary.

Perhaps you're right.

Perhaps I ought to go back as soon as I can straighten things out with Stretch.

No, he doesn't, Katie.

He still thinks I'm a lady's maid.

Don't be silly, Katie.

I've got to tell him sometime and it might as well be now.

Lady's maid? What in tarnation is that?

She helps a show horse get dressed.

Snakes alive, I've been pulling up my own britches 60-some odd years.

I ain't had nobody help me yet.

You always said you can pick a good one from a bad one, Stretch.

Guess you were right.

You know, she supports her father and four kid sisters.

That's the kind she is, and she never complains, either.

She's got an honest face. That's what I like.

Yeah, it'd be a shame if you bounced upon one that wasn't honest.

If he did, he'd bounce on back again.

Wouldn't you, Stretch?

Yep, I guess I would.

What's the matter, Mary?

Nothing, it was cool here and I...

Sugar just told me about Katie calling.

Is there anything wrong at home?

No.

You must be worried about your father and your sisters.

I feel kind of rotten about that. I should've thought of it last night.

But I guess we didn't think much about anything last night.

No, we didn't, did we?

Look,

if we could get them out to the ranch, we could take care of them some way.

Oh, no, Stretch, don't you worry about that.

I was thinking that maybe...

Maybe you'd better go back

and see that they get settled.

-Go back? -Yeah.

Yeah, I was figuring if...

If you went back and got them fixed up, you could be out to the ranch by Tuesday.

See, I'm quitting this outfit at the end of the week,

and I'll be home by Tuesday.

Don't you think that's a good idea?

Stretch.

Here you are. Now, don't lose this.

I've got it all written down here on how to get there.

You'll be crazy about Ma Hawkins.

And I'll get her to fix up a room for you till the house is finished.

Gee, I've been talking a lot about that house,

and so far it's nothing but a framework. But...

All for Houston, all aboard.

Gee, here they go.

Bus for Houston, all aboard.

It's going to be a million years till Tuesday.

-Goodbye, Mary. -Goodbye, Stretch.

Pardon me, lady, but we've got a schedule to meet.

It's gonna be a long trip, folks.

Peanuts, popcorn. I've got candy...

-Take good care of her, will you, buddy? -Okay, cowboy.

-Give her one of those pillows, too. -Okay.

-Candies. -Hey.

-Give her this, too, will you? -Anything else you can think of?

Yeah, sure. Here's some gum to quiet your nerves.

Okay.

I'll see you Tuesday.

-Why, Miss Mary. -Hello, Elly.

Oh, it's good to see you back, Miss Mary.

Katie and me's been worrying ourselves cross-eyed.

Good heavens, Miss Mary. What happened to your dress?

-Oh, I stepped on it. -Stepped on it?

-Nobody knows I've been gone, do they? -Oh, no, we didn't tell a soul.

Not even your father.

-He's here, you know. -Here?

Well, not exactly here. I mean he ought to be here,

according to the telegram,

he and all the committees and all their wives.

No one must know I'm married, Elly.

-Oh, no. -Better tell Katie.

-Yes, miss. -Thank you.

Your Uncle Hannibal is here. He's upstairs.

Oh, Uncle Hannibal. So glad you came.

Well, you're father wasn't particularly cordial, but I came anyway.

With the servants.

Did you know that your second butler cheats at backgammon?

-I'll start your bath, Miss Mary. -Thank you, Elly.

How've been? Let me look at you.

Something new they're wearing this year?

It was fixed up for me in Galveston.

-And two days on a bus didn't help. -Two days on a bus?

Well, I didn't have any money, and I couldn't wire anybody.

So I had to come back on a bus.

Well, that's a good reason to come by bus.

But what in heaven's name were you doing in Galveston in the first place?

Oh, I can't tell you now, Uncle Hannibal. I better have a bath first.

But don't go away, because I must talk to you.

Well, from the condition of your clothes,

you look as if you've had quite an experience.

I have. I got married.

Got married? Hey!

You can't throw a bombshell like that at me and just step into a tub.

Hey, now just a minute...

Excuse me.

I've made a list of possibilities.

You tell me when I'm warm.

Is he a plumber?

No, too bad.

Airplane pilot?

-Cowboy. -Cowboy? Young?

-A young cowboy? Say, that's wonderful. -Is it?

Well, unfortunately, I'm a show horse.

And he thinks I'm a workhorse.

And workhorses are nice people.

-You didn't know that, did you? -No. Are they?

And you know why workhorses are nice people?

Because they carry their part of the load.

Oh, Uncle Hannibal, I'm in such a mess.

Have you ever been so confused that you couldn't make sense out of anything?

I'm doing fine right this minute.

-I'm sorry. -No, maybe I can help you.

Now, you met a cowboy.

Young, married him and went to Galveston.

Now, that much I know.

Oh, and I also know that workhorses are nice people.

Now, what else?

What are you doing here for instance?

I wish I knew.

Katie phoned me. And he was boasting to his friends about me,

and I had to make a decision and... I don't know.

-I got scared, I suppose. -Oh, come now, you don't scare so easily.

I ran away, didn't I?

Did you?

Well, not exactly.

But when he suggested that I come back

to my drunken father and four sisters, I jumped at it.

Drunken father and four sisters?

You know, for a minute I was right along with you,

but I guess I'm lost again.

Oh, yes, that's another thing. I forgot to tell you. I'm a lady's maid.

The father and sisters are part of a system, how to capture a man.

It's Elly's or Katie's, I forget who the genius is.

And he's still under the impression that you're a lady's maid?

Oh, I know it's stupid.

But what could I do? I couldn't tell him, I tried.

But he has such definite notions about everything.

When does he expect you back?

On Tuesday, at his place in Montana.

Well, it seems to me that the first thing to do is to clear that up.

Here comes your father, America's white hope

with his entire entourage.

-Incidentally, what about him? -Yes, what about him?

I certainly have done a good job.

All that has to happen now is for Father to lose the nomination.

Uncle Hannibal, what'll I tell him?

Nothing. Your poor father is accustomed to being in the dark.

-But think for me, Uncle Hannibal. -My darling, I can think for you,

but I can't feel for you.

Now, do you love this cowboy fellow?

Real hard?

Well, then don't worry.

Maybe we can convince him that show horses are nice people, too.

Come in, Father.

It's good to see you, Mary.

Hello, Hannibal. Now, you look wonderful.

A week in Palm Beach is just what you needed.

Well, my dear, everything's in excellent shape.

Probably settle the whole thing before we leave here.

I expect your help.

The committee men and their wives are all here,

and I want a dinner arranged for them on Tuesday.

-Tuesday? -Yeah, nothing elaborate.

Just enough to keep them in good humor.

But the big thing comes later.

You know who's coming down?

Henderson. Now, for him, we ought to have a reception...

I won't be here on Tuesday, Father.

-I beg your pardon? -I said, I won't be here.

I expect to be back in Montana with my husband.

I'm married, Father.

This is no time to be facetious, Mary.

I'm not being facetious.

I met him last week at a rodeo.

-He's a cowboy. -A cowboy?

You mean to tell me you've married a cowboy?

Yes.

Why, this is fantastic.

I can't believe it.

-A cowboy. -What's the matter with a cowboy?

There's nothing the matter with the cowboy as far as I'm concerned.

But what about Henderson?

Can't I make you understand that without his support my nomination is impossible?

Mary Smith in a runaway marriage with a cowhand.

-That's going to look fine in print. -Stop it, Horace.

Is there any reason why Henderson should find out?

How do you suppose I'm going to keep a thing like this secret?

The boy doesn't know who Mary is.

And if we keep our mouths shut, it needn't be known.

At least, not until you get Henderson's endorsement.

Once it's been published, he's got to stick by you

just to save his face.

No, I won't stand for it.

You're going to stay right here,

and I'll arrange to have the marriage annulled quietly.

I'm sorry, Father.

But if you attempt to do that, I shall tell it to the newspapers myself.

All right, Mary, if that's the way you feel about it.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

Now that you've gone this far,

I don't suppose that I should expect any further help.

But I hope you'll have the decency, at least, to stay here

until after the Henderson dinner.

If that isn't asking too much.

Of course, I'll stay, Father. If that's what you want.

Don't worry, I'll stay and do anything you want me to.

Thank you.

You're a fool, Mary.

Keep your eyes on them, fellas. I'm going over to the house.

Here, let me park that coyote for you, Stretch.

Hey, why all the service all of a sudden?

I don't know, state you're in, you couldn't tell a saddle from a flapjack.

-What train is she coming in on, Stretch? -10:00. Where's Sugar?

Over there talking to Bess.

Hey, what you telling her?

Oh, a lot of things she ought to know.

Don't pay any attention to him, Bess.

What you going to call the foal, Stretch?

Oh, I don't know. Mary, I guess.

Well, have the buckboard ready by 7:00, boys.

7:00? The train don't get in till 10:00.

You can't tell. I'm taking no chances.

Ma.

Ma Hawkins!

What's biting you?

That will teach you to do tricks when I'm busy.

What do you want?

What about those what-you-call-its, those new curtains for her room?

New curtains? There ain't gonna be any new curtains.

I'm not going to make my house over just for her.

Come on, Ma.

Oh, I wish you'd go and finish that house of yours

and stop pestering me about new curtains.

Hey, Ma, where do you want these new curtains hung up?

How many times have I told you

not to come busting in here when I'm baking?

Get out of here. Now put the curtains outside.

Put them right there on the chair. Put them on the chair, there.

Let me go, let me go.

-I'm busy. -One day, I'll bite a chunk out of that neck.

Right there.

Leave me alone, Stretch Willoughby.

Got you branded.

One of these days, you're going to make a mark on there that won't come off.

-What are you baking? -None of your business.

Something for Mary, huh?

You think I've got nothing to do but cook for Mary?

Get out of there. Get out of there, and stop it.

Well, guess I'll go and take a look at the new house.

What, again?

This is the fourth time today.

The fifth.

Stretch Willoughby,

some day I'm going to give you a good spanking for things like this.

-How you doing? -Okay, Stretch.

I'm just looking it over, again.

That's better ain't it, Mary?

Nice and warm in here, now, isn't it, Mary?

Is it too warm? I'll open the window.

Wonderful air, isn't it? Just like I told you.

Gee, makes you hungry. Let's eat, huh?

Sit down, Mrs. Willoughby.

Yes, I've had a very busy day. I've been bringing in that new bunch of cattle.

Eat lots of celery, Mrs. Willoughby. It's very good for you.

Well, come in.

Come on in. We're just sitting down to dinner.

Hey, that's the window. Come around to the front door.

Open the door. Come on in.

You boys know Mrs. Willoughby.

Have a drink?

Go ahead, make yourselves at home.

Sit right down on the chair.

Go ahead.

Sit down on the sofa, Buzz.

Now,

Mary's going to sing us a song. She going to sing Annie Laurie.

You fellows like Annie Laurie?

Go ahead, Mary.

What's going on here?

Have you all gone loco?

The boys were just helping me play house.

Fine goings-on when there's work to be done.

-Here's a telegram for you. -Telegram?

Gee whiz, the train must be early, huh? What time is it?

She ain't coming, next week maybe.

From what you tell me, I'm sure she wouldn't disappoint you,

except she couldn't help herself.

When I was in service of his lordship, no such a to-do was made over royalty.

Who is this fellow Henderson, anyhow?

He has a magic wand.

And if he waves it over Mr. Smith's head, presto, he gets the nomination.

When are you leaving for Montana?

Tomorrow or the next day, the moment everyone clears out.

Are you going to come clean with your cowboy?

Even if I get tossed out on my ear, which I probably will.

Well, for consideration, I'll be there to catch you when you land.

Immediately after dinner, we take Henderson aside.

And I feel sure

that we can get him to issue a statement to the press tonight.

Once that's accomplished,

it won't matter if her marriage to this cowboy does come out.

Why not try speaking a little louder,

make sure Henderson hears? He's in the next room.

-Sorry. -Ready, Father.

-Evening, Mary. -Evening, Mary.

Mary, I hope you realize that if Henderson gets an inkling

of your marriage, it will be most disastrous.

Of course, your cowboy may be perfectly acceptable.

But you know Henderson. He has fixed ideas.

And we've all got to be very careful.

For heaven's sake, we've gone all through that.

Yes, of course.

I'm sure everything will go well tonight, Father.

Please don't worry about it.

-I promise to do everything I can to help. -I know you will, Mary. Thank you.

Hello, there. Isn't anyone coming downstairs?

-Why, of course, Mr. Henderson. -We were waiting for you Mr. Henderson.

Might I have the privilege of escorting my favorite girl?

If you mean me, I'm terribly flattered.

Why, of course I mean you.

Horace.

Something's happened to you that's really horrible.

You discover your daughter's marriage,

and it never even occurs to you to ask her if she's happy,

if she's in love.

Or if, perhaps, in some kind of trouble.

All you care about is how it affects your own mad ambition.

I'm really sorry for you.

If all the young ladies in our custom were like Mary,

I'd feel more secure about the future.

Our youth today seem to feel that life is not worthwhile

unless it's been scandalous.

Hello.

Hi.

Where's my wife?

I guess she's upstairs. Will you tell her I'm here?

I just got into town, and I was kind of worried about her.

Is she all right?

Oh, yes. That is, I don't know.

You see, she don't work here no more.

-Well, where does she live? -I don't know.

-I don't know, either. -Well, you're friends of hers, aren't you?

Yeah, but Mary didn't talk much. She was very funny that way.

Yeah, very funny.

-Oh, you better go. -Yeah, you better go.

-We'll lose our jobs if you're caught here. -Goodbye.

Oh, you better go tell her.

Say, I was just thinking, her boss ought to know where she lives.

Her boss? Oh, no.

-She wouldn't know. -Tell her I want to see her, will you?

-Oh, we couldn't do that. -Oh, no.

I think I'll ask her myself.

-Oh, no, you can't go in there. -Oh, goodness, no, please.

-Oh, please. -Please!

I beg your pardon, you must have made a mistake, sir.

I didn't mean to bust in like this. I was looking for somebody.

Anybody you wish to see, sir?

This is the home of Horace Smith, sir. I'm sure you've made a mistake.

Yeah, I guess I did.

Wait a minute, young man.

These men are politicians.

They're always interested in talking to the man on the street.

Why certainly. Come on, young man, sit down.

You ought to be able to get a lot of things off your chest.

Yes, guess maybe I will.

-Where are you from, young man? -Montana.

Montana, a fascinating place.

I've always been interested in the Lone Star State.

-You're thinking of Texas, sir. -Yes, of course.

I always get them confused.

-Are you married? -Why, yes.

I'm married to a lady's maid.

She supports her father and four sisters.

You should claim to be a girl like that, shouldn't you, Mary?

I don't think so.

You see, she turned out to be a fake. Never supported anybody in her life.

Turned out that she was too good for me.

Couldn't stand for me to meet her friends

on account of me being a cowhand, I guess.

Seems to me a cowboy ought to be as good as a lady's maid.

I must remember to look that up and see what the book says.

Keeping cows under control

must be more productive work than hooking up a dress.

And what about the Indians? Who's going to fight the Indians?

The cowboys are the ones who always come to the rescue.

They have a slogan, haven't they? "We always get our man."

No, dear, those are the Marines.

Oh, well, wait a minute, everybody. Wait a minute.

I want to get some advice from him.

Now, I want your opinion, young man.

Judge Smith, our host here,

is seeking the nomination for President of the United States,

and he wants my support.

Now, what would you advise me to do?

I'd advise you to get off your high horse and stop talking down to people.

And the same goes for your smart aleck friends here.

I beg your pardon?

You know you don't give a hang what I think.

Now, just a minute.

I'm glad you asked me, though, because I'd like to tell you.

In the first place,

I don't see where you get off picking anybody for president

when you haven't the decency to treat a person like a human being.

Instead of asking people to sit down at your table

so that you can laugh at them,

maybe you ought to go out and find out what they think

and feel.

And what their needs are and what you can do to help them.

That's all that's going to count in the long run.

If Judge Smith, there, wants to be President.

He ain't going to get very far looking down his nose at people

and thinking he's better than they are.

Abraham Lincoln didn't have to do that,

and he turned out to be a pretty good president.

-Are you quite finished? -Yeah, except for one more thing.

I'd like to invite you all out to the ranch,

and maybe we could show you something about decent manners.

Nice work.

Stretch.

-Please, Stretch, let me talk to you. -A lady's maid, huh?

You were bragging.

Stretch.

Judge Smith.

Mary, wasn't that too fantastic?

Mary, I never saw anything so brazen in all my life.

That's what happens...

The way he sat at the table and lipped off Mr. Henderson as if he were...

Oh, Dad.

Well...

Well, it turns out to be a filly. You should have seen Bess.

Kept tossing her head like she was saying,

"Where's that long-legged boss of mine?

"He thought I couldn't do it."

I never seen a mare like her, Stretch. No fooling, she's just like a human being.

Why, she knew what was going on every minute.

Well, sir, you should've heard Ma Hawkins.

Barking at everybody.

"Let alone with that critter," said she. "And leave her do for herself."

Two hours later, she's wrapping a blanket around her.

Yeah, figured she was all alone.

Sugar and me run right into her.

Hey, Uncle Stretch, give me a lift, please? Uncle Stretch.

-Hello, Mickey. -Give me a lift please.

Yeah, sure.

Come on.

I'll put your suitcase in your room, Stretch.

-Hello, Uncle Stretch. -Hello, Patsy.

-Not that way. The other way. -Oh, yeah.

Thanks.

Hello.

I was just looking at your truck garden here.

I used to grow tomatoes as big as this on my farm.

You know, all the way in here, on the plane, I kept thinking

of something you said.

"People ought to get off their high horses." You're so right.

When you look down your nose, your viewpoint's inclined to get blurred.

A good many parents are that way. Get up on their high horse, I mean.

They demand respect and sacrifice from their children.

The trouble is, they forget they have to earn it first.

I never earned it.

But I got a great deal of it from Mary.

All her life, she made many sacrifices just to safeguard a mad obsession of mine.

Well, she doesn't have to do it anymore. I'm rid of my obsession.

I walked out on the whole business.

-You walked out? -Not that I had to.

But I realized it wasn't what I wanted, after all.

As I was getting on the plane to come here,

Henderson begged me to change my mind, but I refused.

It doesn't matter. There are too many men in the country better equipped for the job.

Besides, I found Mary had an obsession that's more important.

And now, I wonder if a tired old man could beg a cool drink from you.

I've been sitting out here for hours.

Sure, come on in.

Right in here.

There you are! It's about time you were back,

traipsing around the country. Sit down.

I'll bet you haven't had a decent meal in a week.

The man there wants a drink.

Oh, picking up strangers, eh? What do you think this is? A roadhouse?

What do you want? Iced tea? That's all we've got.

Boy, is that...

I told you to keep your hand out of that pan.

Ma Hawkins?

Hello, there, Sugar. How are you?

Come on, Buzz, pump it up. Hit it.

Ma! Ma Hawkins. It fell. The whole cake fell. What'll I do?

I told you to watch it. Good heavens, I can't get anything done around here.

But I couldn't help it. Somebody banged the door and it shook the oven.

...instead of cooking, how do you think I'm gonna do it?

Hello, cowboy.

Ma! Ma Hawkins.

Get out, get out, there's work to be done.

Get... Do you think this is a hangout?

Stretch Willoughby, that's my kitchen.