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1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:12,000
Ripped with SubRip 1.13 and Verified by CdinT
(Cristi_Polacsek@SoftHome.net)
2
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:16,800
I deliver perfection...
and don't brag about it! :D
3
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,000
One double room without bath
for the 16th, 17th and 18th.
4
00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:27,200
Yes, and if you'd be so good
as to confirm by letter?
5
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,800
Thank you so much,
goodbye.
6
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,960
Have you made up the bill
for room 12, Basil?
7
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,000
No, I haven't
yet, no.
8
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,240
Well, they're
in a hurry,
9
00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:35,920
Polly says they didn't
get their alarm call.
10
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,320
And Basil, please get
that picture up,
11
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:38,360
it's been there
for a week.
12
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,000
It's been there
since Monday, Sybil.
13
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,280
Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday,
14
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:46,200
Good morning.
Friday, Sat...
15
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:50,920
Manuel!
16
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,560
There is too much butter
on those trays.
17
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:55,560
Que?
18
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,880
There is too much butter
on those trays.
19
00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:00,680
- No, no, no, Senor!
- What?
20
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,240
Not "on those trays."
21
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:07,280
No Sir, "Uno dos tres."
Uno, dos, tres.
22
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,440
No, no.
Hay mucho burro alli!
23
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:11,640
Que?
24
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,600
Hay mucho
burro alli!
25
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,320
Ah, mantequilla!
26
00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:16,360
What? Que?
27
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:20,320
Mantequilla.
Burro is... is hee-haw.
28
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,800
What?
29
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,440
Burro... burro is
hee-haw, hee-haw.
30
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,160
Manuel, por favor.
Uno momento.
31
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,320
Si, si, si.
32
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:28,320
What's the
matter, Basil?
33
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:29,320
Nothing, dear,
I'm just dealing with it.
34
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,440
He speak good...
how do you say...?
35
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:32,440
English!
36
00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,880
Mantequilla,
solamente, dos.
37
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,320
Dos?
38
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,800
Well, don't look at me,
you're supposed to be able to speak it.
39
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,200
Two pieces!
40
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:47,000
Two each!
Arriba, arriba!
41
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,320
I don't know why you
wanted to hire him, Basil.
42
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:51,240
Because he's cheap
and keen to learn, dear.
43
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,120
And in this day
and age such...
44
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:54,880
But why did you say you
could speak the language?
45
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,320
I learned
classical Spanish,
46
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,320
not the strange dialect he
seems to have picked up.
47
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:00,760
It'd be quicker to
train a monkey.
48
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000
Good morning, Miss Gatsby.
Morning, Miss Tibbs.
49
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,600
Good morning,
good morning.
50
00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,240
- Basil!
- Yes, dear?
51
00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:11,320
Are you going to
hang the picture?
52
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,160
- Yes I am, dear.
- When?
53
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,480
When I've-
when I've...
54
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:15,920
Well, why don't
you do it now?
55
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,320
Well, I'm doing this, dear,
I'm doing the menu.
56
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,560
You've got all morning
to do the menu.
57
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,320
Why don't you hang
the picture now?
58
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,320
- Well?
- Yes, all right,
59
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,320
I don't think you realize
how long it takes to do the menu,
60
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,560
it doesn't matter,
I'll hang the picture now.
61
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,320
If the menus are late for lunch,
it doesn't matter,
62
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,600
the guests can look at the picture
till they are ready, right?
63
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,200
Lower.
64
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,800
Lower.
65
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,320
Up a bit.
66
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,640
- There!
- Thank you, dear.
67
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,560
I don't know where
I'd be without you.
68
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:46,400
In the land of
the living, probably.
69
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:48,960
Yes?
70
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,320
Uh, could we have
our bill please?
71
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,480
Well, can you
wait a minute?
72
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,800
Right, I'm afraid we're
a bit late for our train,
73
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:56,600
we didn't get
our alarm call.
74
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,000
Right.
75
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,320
I was up at 5:00,
you know,
76
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,320
we do have
staff problems,
77
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:03,920
I'm so sorry,
it's not all done by magic.
78
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,320
Basil, are you
doing the menu?
79
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,400
No, I'm not doing
the menu, dear.
80
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,320
I am doing the bill for these
charming people who are in a hurry.
81
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,280
I'm sorry to cause
all this trouble,
82
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,560
but the reason we're late
is we didn't get our alarm call.
83
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,160
Oh, dear, I am sorry.
84
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,800
Basil, why didn't they
get their alarm call?
85
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:17,960
Because I forgot.
86
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,520
I am so sorry
I am not perfect!
87
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:22,840
There you are,
there's the bill.
88
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:23,840
Perhaps you'd
pay my wife,
89
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,800
I have to put
the picture up...
90
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,280
If there aren't any dustbins
to be cleaned out...
91
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:31,400
Newspapers!
92
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,680
Goodbye.
See you again!
93
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,320
Don't forget
the picture, Basil.
94
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:43,480
I won't, dear,
leave it to me.
95
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:44,600
I'm going out now.
96
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,320
I expect it to up
when I come back.
97
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,600
Drive carefully, dear.
98
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,760
Good morning, Major.
99
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,880
Morning, Fawlty.
100
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,480
I do apologize for the
tardiness of the arrival
101
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,000
of your newspaper
this morning, Major.
102
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,120
I will speak to them again,
103
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,120
see if something
can be done.
104
00:03:58,360 --> 00:03:59,760
Ah, more strikes.
105
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,440
Dustmen, post office...
106
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:02,840
It makes you want to cry,
doesn't it?
107
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:04,800
What's happened to
the old idea
108
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,320
of doing something for your
fellow man, of service?
109
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,320
- I mean, today...
- Mr. Fawlty?
110
00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:10,920
Yes, I'm coming!
Wait a moment!
111
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,680
They treat you like dirt,
you know?
112
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,800
Of course it's
pure ignorance,
113
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,320
but with the class of
guests one gets nowadays...
114
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,320
Ah! D'olivera
made a hundred!
115
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:18,880
Did he?
Did he really?
116
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:20,640
Good for him,
good old dolly.
117
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,160
Well, well, well...
118
00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:23,320
Thank you, Polly.
119
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,400
We're only staying
till Sunday!
120
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,440
Right, thank you.
121
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,600
Ah, I thought you were
going out, dear.
122
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,000
What's this?
123
00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,280
I decided, Sybil,
to advertise.
124
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,480
How much
did it cost?
125
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,360
Oh, I haven't... 15?
126
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,560
- Forty.
- Forty.
127
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,680
I have told you
where we advertise.
128
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,320
Sybil, I know
the hotel business.
129
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,400
No you don't, Basil.
130
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,200
Sybil, we've got to
try and attract
131
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:13,520
a better class of person.
132
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:14,520
Why?
133
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,280
We're losing tone.
134
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:17,280
We're making money.
135
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,400
- Yes, yes.
- Just.
136
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,240
Yes, but now we can
try and build up
137
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,200
a higher class of clientele!
138
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,800
Turn away some
of the riffraff.
139
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,920
So long as they pay
their bills, Basil.
140
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,320
Is that all that matters to you?
Money?
141
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,480
This advertisement
is a waste of £-40.
142
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:36,400
One moment!
One moment, please!
143
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,600
- Well?
- Well?
144
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,800
My dear woman, Sir Richard
and Lady Morris,
145
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:41,200
arriving this evening.
For two nights.
146
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,320
You see, they saw our
advertisement in country life.
147
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,560
I wish they were
staying a week.
148
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,360
- Well, so do I.
- Might pay for the ad then.
149
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,880
Sybil, look!
150
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,320
If we can attract
this class of customer,
151
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,840
I mean, the sky's
the limit!
152
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,280
Basil, 22 rooms
is the limit!
153
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,680
I mean, have you seen
the people in room six?
154
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,280
They've never even
sat on chairs before.
155
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:04,200
They are the commonest,
vulgarest, most...
156
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,320
Allo!
157
00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,560
Got a room?
158
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,520
I beg your pardon?
159
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,400
Got a room
for tonight, mate?
160
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,520
I shall have
to see, sir...
161
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,480
- A single?
- Yeah.
162
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,240
No, make it a double,
I feel lucky today!
163
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,960
- Hello.
- Good morning.
164
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,400
Only joking.
165
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,160
- No, we haven't.
- What?
166
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,520
Haven't any rooms.
Good day.
167
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,320
Number seven is
free, Basil.
168
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,560
Mr. Tone is in
number seven, dear.
169
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,160
No, he left while you were
putting the picture up, Basil.
170
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,800
You have
luggage, Sir?
171
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:50,800
Just one case.
172
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,320
In the car...
The white sports.
173
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:56,760
Fill this in,
would you, Sir?
174
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,000
If you can.
175
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,120
Hope you enjoy
your stay, Mr. Brown.
176
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,160
Uh, Manuel,
would you fetch
177
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,400
this gentleman's case
from the car outside?
178
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:12,000
Take it to room seven?
179
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,840
- Is not easy for me.
- What?
180
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:15,600
Is not easy for me...
entender
181
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,320
It's not easy for
you to understand.
182
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,720
Manuel... we're
training him.
183
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,600
He's from Barcelona.
184
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:23,560
In Spain.
185
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,760
Obtener la valisa...
186
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,320
- Que?
- La valisa en el,
187
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,800
er, auto
bianco sportiv.
188
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,640
Y... a la sala...
189
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,240
Siete... por favor.
190
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:39,320
Pronto.
191
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,320
Is impossible.
192
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,680
- What?
- Is impossible.
193
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,800
Look, it's
perfectly simple!
194
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,640
Manuel-sirvase buscar mi
equipaje que esta en el
195
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,320
automovil blanco y lo traer
a la sala numero siete.
196
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,320
Senor
habla espanol!
197
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:54,280
Solo un poco,
lo siento.
198
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,320
Pero he
olvidado mucho.
199
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,400
No, no,
habla muy bien.
200
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,400
Muy muy bien.
Formidable!
201
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:00,440
Gracias, gracias.
202
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,280
Lo voy a
coger ahora.
203
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,720
Well, if there's
anything else,
204
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,360
I'm sure Manuel will
be able to tell you,
205
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,320
as you seem to get on
so well together.
206
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,400
Key?
207
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,400
Hello, dear, just
doing the picture.
208
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,760
Don't forget
the menu.
209
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,360
I beg your pardon?
210
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,400
Don't forget the menu.
211
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,800
I thought you
said you wanted...
212
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,800
Right!
I'll do the menu.
213
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,320
You could have had
them both done by now
214
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:54,360
if you hadn't spent
the whole morning
215
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,400
skulking in there
listening to that racket.
216
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,960
Racket?
217
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:05,400
That's Brahms!
Brahms's Third racket!
218
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,840
The whole morning?
219
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,960
I had two bars.
220
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,400
Ready to order?
221
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,760
Uh, yeah.
What's a gralefrit?
222
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:16,840
Grapefruit.
223
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,720
And creme pot...
Pot rouge?
224
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,120
Portugaise.
Tomato soup.
225
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,320
I'll have the gralefrit.
226
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:28,320
Now balm carousel... Lamb?
227
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:29,320
Casserole.
228
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:30,480
Sounds good.
Does it come with a smile?
229
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,160
It comes with
sprouts or carrots.
230
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,320
Oh, smile's extra, is it?
231
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,720
You'll get one if you
eat up all your sprouts.
232
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:40,400
Waiter!
233
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,240
I beg your pardon?
234
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:49,320
Oh, hello.
235
00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:50,560
Can I have
some wine, please?
236
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,320
The waiter
is busy, Sir,
237
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,520
but I will bring you
the carte des vins
238
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,320
when I have finished
attending to this Gentleman.
239
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,320
Oh, fine.
No hurry.
240
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,320
Oh, good, how nice,
how very thoughtful.
241
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,680
I trust the beer is to
your satisfaction, Sir?
242
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,320
Yes, fine.
243
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,720
Ah, good.
May I wish you bon apetit.
244
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,600
Thank you.
245
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,280
Manuel!
246
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:13,280
Senor.
247
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:14,320
Would you fetch
the wine list please?
248
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,400
Si, Senor.
249
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,400
- The wine list.
- Si?
250
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,520
- The wine... vino.
- Senor.
251
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,680
No, no. The list!
252
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,520
There, there, the list!
253
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:33,000
The list, there!
The red... there!
254
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,680
There!
255
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,760
Have you got a half
bottle of the beaujolais?
256
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,400
Yes.
257
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,680
Oh, fine.
258
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,320
Right! Never mind!
Never mind!
259
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,240
Manuel, another grapefruit
for table 12.
260
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,320
Please... Manuel!
261
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:56,640
I do beg your pardon.
I'm so sorry.
262
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,120
- Throw it away.
- Que?
263
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,480
Throw... it... away!
264
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:07,680
Throw... it...
away?
265
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,320
Throw it away!
266
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:13,200
Now!
267
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,400
Sorry!
268
00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:21,320
Sorry, sorry!
Sorry about that.
269
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:25,840
Sorry about that.
270
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:27,600
No, I like a bit
of cabaret.
271
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,360
You left
your sketch.
272
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,680
Oh! Sorry.
273
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:32,880
It's very good.
Do you sell any?
274
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,400
Enough to keep me
in waitressing.
275
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,280
One half bottle
of beaujolais.
276
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:41,320
Sybil!
277
00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:44,480
Someone at
reception, dear.
278
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,480
Yes, yes,
well, yes?
279
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,680
Well, I was wondering if
you could offer me
280
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:52,840
accommodation for
a few nights?
281
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:53,840
Well, have
you booked?
282
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:54,880
- I'm sorry?
- Have you booked?
283
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,440
- No.
- Oh, dear!
284
00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:58,480
Why, are you full?
285
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,200
Oh, we're not full,
286
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,560
we're not full.
Of course we're not full!
287
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,720
- I'd like, ah...
- One moment, please.
288
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:09,960
- Yes?
- A single room with a...
289
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,960
Could I have your name?
290
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,200
- Melbury.
- One second, please.
291
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,840
Hello?
292
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,840
Ah, yes, Mr. O'reilly,
well, it's perfectly simple.
293
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,000
When I asked you
to build me a wall,
294
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,960
I was hoping that instead of just dumping
the bricks in a pile,
295
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,480
you might have found time
to cement them together,
296
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,840
you know, one on top
of the other,
297
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,600
in the traditional fashion.
298
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:28,840
Could you fill it in, please?
299
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,720
Oh, splendid!
300
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,800
Ah, yes, but when,
Mr. O'reilly?
301
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,480
There, there!
302
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,840
Yes, yes, yes,
but when?
303
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,400
Yes, yes, ah,
the flu, yes.
304
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,560
Both names, please.
305
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,720
Yes, I should have
guessed, Mr. O'reilly,
306
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,360
that and the potato
famine I suppose.
307
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:50,920
I beg your pardon?
308
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,320
Would you put both
your names, please?
309
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,640
Well, will you
give me a date?
310
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:55,840
Yeah, I only use one.
311
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:57,480
You don't have
a first name?
312
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,800
No, I am Lord Melbury,
so I simply sign "Melbury".
313
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:05,840
Go away.
314
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,640
I'm so sorry to have kept
you waiting, your Lordship.
315
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,800
I do apologize,
please forgive me.
316
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:14,520
Is there something,
anything, I can do for you?
317
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:15,520
Anything at all?
318
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,000
Well, I have
filled this in...
319
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,000
Oh, please don't
bother with that.
320
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,840
- Now, a room?
- A special room, a single?
321
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:21,840
A double?
A suite?
322
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:22,880
Well, we don't
have any suites,
323
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:23,880
but we do have some
beautiful doubles...
324
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,400
No, no, just a single.
325
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,720
Just a single.
Absolutely!
326
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,520
How very wise if I may
say so, your honor.
327
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:29,640
With a bath?
328
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:35,000
Naturally, naturally!
Naturellement!
329
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,240
I shall be staying for
one or two nights...
330
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,560
Manuel!
331
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,800
It's rather grey
today, isn't it?
332
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:47,840
Oh, yes,
it is, rather.
333
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:49,560
Of course usually down here
it's quite beautiful,
334
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:54,200
but today is a real
old, uh, rotter.
335
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,160
Manuel!
336
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,560
Still, it's good
for the wheat.
337
00:13:58,800 --> 00:13:59,840
Yes, I suppose so.
338
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,640
I hear it's coming along
wonderfully at the moment!
339
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,280
Thank God!
I love the wheat.
340
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,840
There's no sight like
341
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,320
a field of wheat waving
in the... waving
342
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,560
in... Manuel!
343
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,680
Well, how are you?
344
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:15,840
I mean if it's not
a personal question.
345
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:16,840
Well, it is
a personal...
346
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,160
Let me take your
cases for you.
347
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,240
Oh, thank you
very much.
348
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:20,400
- They're just outside.
- Splendid.
349
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,160
Thank you so much.
I won't be one moment.
350
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,280
Ah, Lord Melbury.
May I introduce my wife?
351
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:34,720
Yes, we have met.
352
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,200
My wife, may I
introduce his Lordship.
353
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,840
Thank you, Basil,
we've sorted it out.
354
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,840
Splendid, splendid.
355
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,360
I wonder, could I deposit this
case with you?
356
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:43,880
It's just a few valuables?
357
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:44,960
Valuables, of course.
358
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,360
Please let me take it now.
359
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,600
I'll put it in the safe
straightaway.
360
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,760
Sybil, would you put this
in the safe, please?
361
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,120
I'm just off to
the kitchen, Basil.
362
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:52,120
Yes, well, if
you're too busy...
363
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,520
Nice to have met you,
Lord Melbury.
364
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,240
- Hope you enjoy your stay.
- Thank you so much.
365
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,400
I'll do it then,
then I'll do the picture...
366
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,160
I'll put this away in
one moment, your Lord.
367
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,280
Manuel, will you take
these cases to room 21.
368
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,760
Que?
369
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,640
Take...
to room... 21.
370
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,200
No entender.
371
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,840
Prenda las casos en...
Oh, doesn't matter.
372
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,280
I'll do it.
Thank you Manuel.
373
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,280
- I take them.
- No, no, go away!
374
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:19,840
Go and wait!
375
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:21,000
- Wait?
- Wait.
376
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,600
In there!
Go and wait In there!
377
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,760
Go and be a
waiter in there!
378
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,160
I do apologize,
your Lordship.
379
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,760
I'm afraid he's only
just joined us.
380
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:38,560
It'd be quicker to train
a monkey, ha ha ha!
381
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,840
Do please follow me...
382
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,240
I mean, if you're ready.
There's no hurry.
383
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,440
Oh, yes, yes, fine.
384
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,560
Excuse me, I'm sorry
to bother you.
385
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,400
Would you mind
moving to that table?
386
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,400
What?
387
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,880
Could I askyou please,
to move to that table over there?
388
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:05,880
But...
389
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:06,880
I'm so sorry
to trouble you.
390
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,560
- We're halfway through!
- Thank you so much.
391
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,960
This is Lord Melbury's
table, you see?
392
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,440
- What?
- Lord Melbury.
393
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,680
When he stays with us,
he always sits at this table.
394
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,680
Well, why did
they put us here?
395
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,480
Uh, an oversight
on my wife's part.
396
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,120
I'm so sorry.
He's only just arrived, you see.
397
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,320
Would you mind?
Polly!
398
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,400
Would you help these
people to that table?
399
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,920
Thank you,
thank you so much.
400
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,960
Come on!
Come on!
401
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,680
Thank you.
402
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:36,000
Ah, Lord Melbury!
403
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,840
Do please come this way,
your Lordship,
404
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:39,960
I have your table over
here by the window.
405
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,320
As usual...
just here.
406
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:47,480
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you very much.
407
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,840
Oh, my God!
408
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:51,960
I think he's
killed him!
409
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:56,360
Get on with your meals!
Thank you so much.
410
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,600
Lord Melbury, I really
must apologize again...
411
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,480
Please, please,
think nothing of it.
412
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,840
- But it was so...
- No, no, no.
413
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,360
It was the
smallest of accidents.
414
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:13,600
It could have
occurred anywhere.
415
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,600
- Yes, but...
- I've forgotten all about it.
416
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,320
That's most... You're really...
Ah, your Lordship,
417
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,800
would you allow me
to offer you
418
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,840
dinner here tonight,
as our guest?
419
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:24,360
That's extremely
kind of you.
420
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,160
Unfortunately, I have
an engagement tonight.
421
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,640
- Oh.
- Oh, actually...
422
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,720
- Yes?
- There is one thing.
423
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:30,840
Good! Good!
424
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,840
I was wondering...
can you cash me a small check?
425
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,400
I'm playing golf
this afternoon...
426
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,120
Oh, delighted!
427
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,600
And I'd rather not
go into the town.
428
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,840
Absolutely... I mean,
uh, how much?
429
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:41,920
Uh, if it's not
a rude question?
430
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:46,120
Could you manage
50... oh! 100?
431
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:51,400
A hundred?
Oh, absolutely.
432
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,000
Oh, yes, I mean,
will 100 be enough?
433
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,680
I mean 150,
434
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:56,880
two, 160?
435
00:17:57,120 --> 00:18:00,160
Let's see, that's uh,
dinner tonight, few tips...
436
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,760
Oh, and it's the
weekend, isn't it?
437
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,680
Would 200
be all right?
438
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,840
Please! Yes! Oh, ha, ha!
Oh, tremendous!
439
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,240
Oh, I'm so happy!
440
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,120
I'll send someone to
the town straightaway
441
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,320
and have it for you here
when you get back.
442
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,680
Yes, well,
that would be splendid.
443
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,000
Thank you, thank you,
your Lordship.
444
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,000
Thank you so much.
445
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,720
Oh, not at all,
my privilege.
446
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:26,520
Breeding...
I mean... oh!
447
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,480
Hello, dear.
448
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,440
- What are you doing?
- I'm kissing you, dear.
449
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,880
Well, don't.
450
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,840
Just thought it might
be nice to...
451
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:36,120
I heard
about lunch.
452
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:38,560
What? Oh, that!
Think nothing of it.
453
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:39,600
What?
454
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:40,840
It was the smallest
of accidents.
455
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:42,400
- Could have happened anywhere.
- Anywhere?
456
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,440
First you move that nice family
in the middle of their meal,
457
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,840
and then you attack
Lord Melbury with a chair!
458
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:48,920
Look, Sybil,
459
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,760
I've had a word with
Lord Melbury about it.
460
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,800
He was quite
charming...
461
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:53,920
Oh, it's delightful to have
people like that staying here.
462
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,240
Sheer class, golf,
baths, engagements,
463
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:02,800
a couple of
hundr... h... h... horses.
464
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:03,800
Well, I've never seen
such tatty cases.
465
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:04,840
Of course
you haven't.
466
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:06,160
It's only the
true upper class
467
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:07,680
that would have
tat like that.
468
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:08,840
It's the whole point!
469
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:10,840
Oh, you don't know what
I'm talking about.
470
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,600
No, I don't.
But don't ever move guests
471
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,680
in the middle
of a meal again.
472
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,920
And get that
picture up.
473
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,880
Sour old rat.
474
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,120
Ah! Polly.
475
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,800
Would you do
me a favor?
476
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,120
When you're down in
the town this afternoon,
477
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,840
would you
just pop...
478
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:29,840
just between
ourselves,
479
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:30,840
don't mention this
to my wife,
480
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,360
pop into the bank
and just...
481
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,800
Could somebody
answer that, please?
482
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,640
Hello!
483
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,920
Is there nobody
who can answer that?
484
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,640
There must
be someone.
485
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,640
Not you.
486
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,800
I'll never get it up.
487
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:58,520
I'll cancel my holiday,
do it then.
488
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,440
Hello, Fawlty Towers?
489
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:03,680
Hello, Fawlty Towers.
490
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,400
Oh, hello, Brenda.
491
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,840
Basil, it's 6:00.
492
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,400
Ah, Polly...
did you cash it?
493
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,920
- Yes, Mr. Fawlty?
- Good, good.
494
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,800
- Could I have a word with you?
- What?
495
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,280
- Could I speak to you for just a minute?
- Not now, polly!
496
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,680
- It's very important.
- Later! Later!
497
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,400
- Basil!
- I'm just going, dear.
498
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,440
Thank you, thank you
so much, Polly.
499
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:27,400
Ah, good evening, Major.
500
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,400
Evening, Fawlty.
501
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:29,920
The usual?
502
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:33,760
Oh, why not?
Indeed, yes.
503
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,880
Why not?
I've just been watching
504
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:38,360
one of those nature
films on television.
505
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:39,360
Oh, yes?
506
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,280
Did you know
the female gibbon
507
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,640
gestates for
seven months?
508
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,200
Seven months?
509
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,400
Well I never...
Here you are, Major.
510
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,840
Seven... my word.
511
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,720
Ah, Good Evening,
Mr. Wareing.
512
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,800
A gin and orange, a lemon squash
and a scotch and water, please.
513
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:56,880
Certainly.
514
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,360
Is there any part
of the room
515
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,840
you'd like us to
keep away from?
516
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,560
What?
517
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,280
We'll be over there, then.
518
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:08,800
Seven!
Well, well...
519
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,800
Evening, Fawlty.
520
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:10,440
Ah, Good Evening,
Lord Melbury.
521
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,600
- Anywhere?
- Yes, anywhere, anywhere.
522
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,240
Lord Melbury, may I offer you
a little apertif as our guest?
523
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,840
That's very kind of you.
Dry sherry, if you please.
524
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,400
What else?
525
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,680
Such...
Oh, I don't know what.
526
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:25,840
Je ne sais quoi?
527
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,240
Exactly! Exactly!
528
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:29,480
Ah, there you are, Sybil.
529
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:30,800
Good evening, Major.
530
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:32,800
Evening,
Mrs. Fawlty.
531
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:34,960
- There you are, your Lordship.
- Ah, thank you very much.
532
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,240
I see my little
collection of
533
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,680
coins tickles
your interest.
534
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,960
What?
Oh, yes, yes.
535
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,960
All British Empire
of course.
536
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,840
Used to be quite
a hobby of mine.
537
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:45,000
Little investment too.
538
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,800
Quite.
Talking about, um,
539
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,560
- Did you manage to...
- Oh yes.
540
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,440
- There you are, your Lordship.
- Oh, Thank you, yes.
541
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:03,840
Yes, you know,
these sorts of things,
542
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,960
their value's soared this
last couple of years.
543
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,000
Have they really?
544
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:09,120
Oh, yes.
You take my advice.
545
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,400
Get them revalued,
546
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,840
and insure them for
the full amount.
547
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,440
Yes, yes, I will.
548
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,480
You can't take any risks
nowadays, I'm afraid.
549
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:17,840
- No, no, quite.
- Well, I must be off.
550
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:19,200
Thank you very much,
your Lordship.
551
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,600
Basil!
552
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,160
Yes, yes, I was just talking
to Lord Melbury, dear.
553
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,840
A gin and orange, a lemon squash
and a scotch and water, please!
554
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:27,360
I do apologize, I was just
talking to Lord...
555
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,400
Fawlty!
556
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,960
I was thinking...
557
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,840
You see, I am having
dinner tonight
558
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,720
with the duke of Buckleigh,
do you know him?
559
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,840
Not personally, no.
560
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,320
He's a great expert,
561
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:42,480
you know, Sotheby's
and all that.
562
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:43,480
Is he?
563
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,840
Now if you like,
I could take them with me,
564
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,440
ask him to have
a quick look at them,
565
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,400
and find their
current value.
566
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,360
- Would you really?
- Yes, yes, certainly.
567
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,120
Well, I'll be off
in a few moments.
568
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:54,280
- Well, that's really so...
- Basil!
569
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,840
I'm talking to Lord Melbury!
570
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:01,320
A gin and orange, a lemon squash
and a scotch and water, please!
571
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,560
All right!
All right!
572
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:08,520
Oh, Mr. Fawlty...
573
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:09,720
Was that Lord Melbury?
Has he gone?
574
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,120
I rang, Mr. Fawlty,
I must speak with you.
575
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:13,840
- Can't you see I'm busy?
- It's very important.
576
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:14,840
- Can we talk in there?
- I can't.
577
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:16,600
- Basil!
- It's very important!
578
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,240
I'm dealing with something
important out here, Sybil.
579
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:24,600
Yes? Yes, right, well,
yes, yes, what is it?
580
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:25,600
- It's about Lord Melbury.
- Yes?
581
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,120
He's not
Lord Melbury,
582
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:28,680
he's a confidence
trickster.
583
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,160
I beg your pardon?
584
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:31,240
Mr. Brown told me.
585
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,440
Oh!
586
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:33,840
Mr. Brown's
from the C.I.D.
587
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:35,400
They've been
watching Melbury
588
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,160
because he's pulling some
big con trick in the town.
589
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:38,920
They're going to arrest
him when he leaves here,
590
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:40,320
so as not to cause
you embarrassment.
591
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,520
But he asked me
to tell you...
592
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:42,840
Oh, how nice of him!
593
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:44,400
Please, Mr. Fawlty...
594
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,360
Oh, I don't know
what other tales
595
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,240
Mr. Brown of M.I.5 has been
impressing you with.
596
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,360
- He's a con man!
- Oh, yes, of course,
597
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:50,360
it stands out
a mile, doesn't it?
598
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:51,840
He's so common.
599
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,680
Unlike that cockney git
whose ulterior motive
600
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,720
poor, innocent,
misguided child that you are.
601
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:00,760
Basil, what's
going on?
602
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,200
Nothing, my dear,
nothing at all.
603
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:03,960
- Mrs. Fawlty...
- Yes, Polly?
604
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,840
- I don't know what she's...
- Basil!
605
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:07,560
Mr. Brown is
from the C.I.D.
606
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,720
He showed me
identification.
607
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,000
They're watching Melbury.
He's a confidence trickster.
608
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:13,280
I see.
609
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,840
What do you mean,
you see?
610
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:16,400
Let's have a look
at these valuables.
611
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,400
What are you
doing, Sybil?
612
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:18,680
Sybil, I forbid you
to open that safe!
613
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,960
Sybil, I forbid you
to take that case out!
614
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:25,160
Sybil, do not open
that case, I forbid it!
615
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,720
I never thought I would
live to see the day
616
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,400
when a peer
of the realm,
617
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,680
entrusts to us,
a case of valuables...
618
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,560
In trust...
619
00:25:58,800 --> 00:25:58,880
I'll call the police.
620
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:02,480
They're already here,
Mr. Brown's outside.
621
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,960
Someone at
reception, Basil?
622
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,840
Ah! All right.
623
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,600
Ah... Good evening.
624
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:22,840
I believe you
were expecting us.
625
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:24,000
No, I was expecting
somebody else.
626
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,840
Sir Richard
and Lady Morris.
627
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:26,960
Yes, yes, them as well.
628
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:27,960
I'm sorry?
629
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,320
- How did you know?
- What?
630
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:30,960
Oh... You're Sir Richard
and Lady Morris,
631
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,240
I do beg
your pardon.
632
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,520
I was just think...
633
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,200
Would you mind filling
this out, please?
634
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,680
We've given you room...
aha!
635
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:43,840
Ah, Fawlty!
636
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,840
Mr. Fawlty to you,
Lord Melbury.
637
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:47,880
I beg your pardon?
638
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:49,680
Oh, nothing,
please forget all about it.
639
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,680
Here's the check
for £-200.
640
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,480
Ah, thank you
so much.
641
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,680
Now, about my priceless
collection of coins?
642
00:26:58,920 --> 00:26:59,680
Oh, yes, ah,
do you still...
643
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:00,800
Do I still want
you to take them
644
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,520
to be valued by the Duke
of Buckleigh, my Lord?
645
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:03,520
- Ah, yes.
- No, I don't.
646
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:04,600
Because we've
just heard
647
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,480
that the duke
of Buckleigh is dead!
648
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,120
Yes, got his head knocked off
by a golf ball.
649
00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:10,840
Tragic! Tragic!
650
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,000
Well, how are you,
Lord Melbury?
651
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,840
'ow are yer then?
All right, mate?
652
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,560
'ow's me
old mucker?
653
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:20,920
Any valuables to deposit,
Sir Richard?
654
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,640
Any bricks?
655
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,840
I do apologize...
You bastard!
656
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,320
We've given
you room 12
657
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:30,560
with the view
overlooking the park...
658
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:31,560
I'm sure you'll
like it...
659
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:32,600
We'll have your
bags brought up...
660
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,200
And may I
introduce your wife?
661
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,560
Hello, Lord Melbury!
662
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,160
- Bastard!
- Basil!
663
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,320
Please think
nothing of it.
664
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,480
Do please excuse me
one moment.
665
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:02,560
Basil, the morrises
are leaving.
666
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:10,000
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
667
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:11,240
We're leaving!
668
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,120
Oh, don't, please stay,
you'll like it here.
669
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:16,560
I've never been in such
a place in my life.
670
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,840
You snobs!
671
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,800
You stupid, stuck-up,
toffee-nosed, half-witted...
672
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:36,000
upper-class
piles of... pus!
673
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,400
- Sorry, Mr. Fawlty.
- Just one, please.
674
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,360
Sorry, Mr. Fawlty.
675
00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:06,640
Well, I'd better put
the picture up.
676
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,400
Oh, thank You, Polly,
for the...
677
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,720
- Well done, Manuel.
- Que?
678
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,800
Oh... Ole.
679
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:19,840
Sorry about that,
Mr. Fawlty.
680
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:21,120
Can I buy you
a drink?
681
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,120
No, no, I'd better put
this up, I suppose.
682
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,840
Basil!
683
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,760
A gin and orange,
684
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:32,920
a lemon squash and a
scotch and water, please!
685
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,160
Right!
686
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,320
Come on.
44620
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