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1
00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:09,222
[water gurgling]
2
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,184
[muffled music]
3
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[upbeat music playing]
4
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:28,276
[Jen] This was a good idea.
You were right. I just needed a vacation.
5
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,451
-[Judy] Right?
-Yeah.
6
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:30,909
-A little holiday?
-Yeah.
7
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,829
Palm Springs, you know,
get away from it all?
8
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:34,828
Mm-hm.
9
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,413
Codependent No More.
10
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,956
Doing a little light reading by the pool?
11
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,079
Yes, I am.
12
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,915
I'm trying to unpack everything
with Steve, now that it's over. Again.
13
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:46,297
I need to learn how to be on my own,
take care of myself.
14
00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,473
Oh, your shoulders are getting pink!
15
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,258
-Let me get that.
-You are codependent.
16
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,377
Right?
17
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:55,142
-Is it weird that I like it?
-I love that you like it.
18
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,852
You know what I also like?
19
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:59,852
I like a margarita
by the pool in a plastic cup.
20
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:00,774
-Oh!
-Yeah.
21
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,522
In fact... Can I get one more?
22
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,765
Okay, well,
codependent reminder to hydrate.
23
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:08,647
Because it's 11:30 in the morning,
and you have to pace yourself.
24
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,145
Yeah. Well, you know what,
this is me pacing myself.
25
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,244
And I wanna be very clear.
26
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:16,243
Mommy can do whatever she wants.
27
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,946
Oh. Is Mommy calling herself Mommy?
28
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,617
-Mommy is.
-Oh.
29
00:01:20,705 --> 00:01:24,575
Mommy's kids are with the grandmother,
and Mommy ain't got shit to do.
30
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:27,504
Mommy does have some shit to do.
31
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:29,547
-No shit.
-[Wayne] Jen? Judy?
32
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,415
[Jen] Hi, Pastor Wayne.
33
00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,178
I'm so happy you could make it
to our Friends of Heaven Grief Retreat.
34
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,260
Grief treat!
35
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,683
I do hope you'll take
the opportunity this weekend
36
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,555
to imbibe some of our
therapeutic workshops.
37
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,650
This weekend could be
a real turning point for you.
38
00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:47,397
I'm so excited.
39
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:50,781
I'm really looking forward
to taking a look inward.
40
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,067
Kiss-ass!
41
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:54,243
There are seminars specialized
for all walks of grief.
42
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,082
It's very powerful
when all that trauma comes together.
43
00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,408
It should be a really good time.
44
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,195
-[Jen] Yeah.
-[Judy] Thanks.
45
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:04,037
I don't think that guy would know
a good time if it fucked him in the...
46
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,134
[splash]
47
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:12,170
[Judy] I do think it'd be good for you
to participate a little this weekend.
48
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:13,757
-[Jen] Oh!
-Lean in.
49
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,432
You know? So you're not just numbing
your pain.
50
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:17,434
Pain?
51
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:19,849
There's no pain with this guy.
52
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:21,635
No, all joy.
53
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,478
Ooh! I think I'm gonna go to...
54
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:28,646
"Lost Angels: Finding Yourself
After Pregnancy Loss" at noon.
55
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:31,281
[gasps] Wait. You could check out
"Window to the Widow."
56
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:35,819
Okay. No. I came here to escape,
not wallow in my widowhood.
57
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,067
-Hey, ladies.
-[both] Hi.
58
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,618
-Got something for you.
-[Judy] What?
59
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:42,001
-Here you go.
-Oh, my God, Yolanda.
60
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:42,908
Look at this.
61
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:43,866
[Jen gasps]
62
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,252
-Isn't it great?
-It's great.
63
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:46,416
And voila.
64
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:47,876
[Judy] Nice.
65
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:50,376
So, any tips for the weekend?
66
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,463
Well, I always get a lot out
of "Cooking for One with Chef Sue."
67
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,967
That sounds like a goofy class.
68
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,142
Hey, you coming to WTTW?
69
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,471
I have no idea what that is.
70
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,564
-Window to the Wid--
-No.
71
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,846
Window to the Widow.
72
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:08,349
"This workshop is focused on keeping
the window to the widow's heart open
73
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,688
to the love she shared with the departed."
74
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,480
-Love is eternal.
-Yeah. Not if the fucker cheated.
75
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:15,574
Now, that's different.
76
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,318
[Jen] Yeah. It's different.
77
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:20,870
I swear to God, I think these people
actually get off on their grief.
78
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:23,327
Well, maybe they're just embracing
where they are.
79
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,961
Well, you know, where I am
is ready to move on.
80
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:30,171
You know what?
There's some really fun gay bars downtown.
81
00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:33,051
We could go dancing,
get completely ignored.
82
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,881
-[laughs]
-It could be super fun.
83
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:35,804
Maybe.
84
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,299
But there's also lot of fun stuff
to do here.
85
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:40,005
Hmm.
86
00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,144
I see one fun thing I can do.
87
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,977
[Judy] Oh, my God, I see that, too.
88
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:49,439
But according to the brochure,
this is a time of healing
89
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,060
and self-exploration.
90
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:51,977
Okay.
91
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,895
Well, according to my husband,
I was dead, and we weren't married.
92
00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:58,454
So that means that somebody
is open for business.
93
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:01,199
And that somebody's business
is her vagina.
94
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:02,282
Pussy!
95
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,907
I thought you were gonna say "poontang."
96
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,873
-Ew! I would not say that.
-You might say that.
97
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,786
-Really?
-Yeah, poontang.
98
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,210
Hmm. Hmm.
99
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,292
[Judy] Vegas Chapter.
100
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:13,707
-Hi.
-He's from Vegas.
101
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,169
-Widow.
-Jeez!
102
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,047
[Judy] Okay. So my baby seminar
103
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,720
-is in the Desert Winds Ballroom.
-Mm-hm.
104
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,973
-Then I'll meet you after?
-Yeah. Totally.
105
00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,675
-Am I okay to leave you?
-Uh-huh.
106
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,392
Judy, I'm not the one
who can't be left alone.
107
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,596
That's true.
108
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,897
Yeah. Oh! Dude from the pool.
109
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,940
-Dude from the pool. Hi!
-What is going on?
110
00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,475
Hi. Hi.
111
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:36,436
Hi.
112
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,533
-Nice shirt.
-Oh!
113
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,697
How embarrassing,
we all wore the same thing.
114
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,530
Yeah. Maybe I should do that to mine.
115
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:43,905
Yeah, maybe you should.
116
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,373
You're going to The Big Question?
117
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,752
Oh, yeah, no question about it.
118
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:53,382
-Should I save you a seat?
-Yeah.
119
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,169
Okay. Cool.
120
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,219
-What?
-Holy eye contact that just happened.
121
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,140
Oh, my God, how did you do that?
122
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,890
-This is gonna be really good for you.
-I know.
123
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,011
Don't bring the drink in.
124
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,772
Out of respect for the other grievers,
especially the cute one.
125
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,475
-He's very hot. I'll see you later.
-Oh, my God, super hot.
126
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,601
-I'm taking the...
-He's like a good old-fashion hunk.
127
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:17,068
Have fun at your baby thing...
Oh, that's not fun, is it?
128
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,279
Excuse me.
129
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:23,410
Hi. Oh, boy. Oh, boy, boy. You know?
130
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,079
-Go!
-I'm going.
131
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,831
[Wayne] Welcome to The Big Question.
132
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,668
Actually... there's 14.
133
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,633
-[Jen] Jesus.
-[Wayne] We'll break down questions
134
00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:39,923
that have no easy answer.
135
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,256
Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry.
136
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,759
[Wayne] Is screaming
into my pillow healthy?
137
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:45,641
[sighs]
138
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,721
Why can't I stop eating?
139
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:50,772
So, who died and sent you here?
140
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,350
[Wayne] When will I run out of tears?
141
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,265
Wow!
142
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,190
-Do you say that to all the widowers?
-[laughs]
143
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:57,856
I might.
144
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,318
Depends on how well our conversation goes.
145
00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:01,531
[Wayne] How can I smile?
146
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:03,859
My wife died.
147
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,532
Sailing accident.
148
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,279
Boats.
149
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,115
[Wayne] Why do I feel guilty if I laugh?
150
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,582
My husband was in a hit-and-run.
151
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,210
-[Wayne] How do I think about...
-I'm Jen.
152
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:15,170
[Wayne] ...not that?
153
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:17,089
-Jason.
-Oh, hi. Jen.
154
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,206
Jason. Are you--?
155
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,876
You said that already. Huh?
156
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,302
-[Wayne] Does trauma last forever?
-Are you drunk?
157
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:26,546
-Could be.
-[clears throat]
158
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,466
What? Sorry!
159
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,391
Does trauma last forever? Maybe.
160
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,389
I know him.
161
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,561
-He your pastor?
-Oh, God, no. [laughs]
162
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,227
[Wayne continues]
163
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:40,529
Ew!
164
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,110
The road was fraught. It was.
165
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,533
Not just to get pregnant,
but to stay pregnant.
166
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:51,698
And as much as we wanted a child to embody
the love that we felt for each other,
167
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,576
the struggle to have a baby
almost tore us apart.
168
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:58,839
-I wonder if any of you experienced that?
-I have. Hi, I'm Judy.
169
00:06:58,960 --> 00:06:59,790
Um...
170
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,879
My relationship
didn't survive the struggle.
171
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:05,343
And it's not that I really wanna
even be with him, exactly, I just...
172
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:08,215
I don't wanna sit in these feelings alone.
173
00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,852
That was a rhetorical question.
174
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,178
Oh.
175
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:13,312
Oh. I'm sorry.
176
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:14,731
Um...
177
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,895
I thought everybody was sharing.
178
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,769
-I'm just gonna keep going.
-Yeah! Thanks.
179
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,726
After IVF, IUI, PGD...
180
00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:23,727
I did all of those.
181
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:26,648
...our doctor told us that maybe
we were having a run of bad luck.
182
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,740
Bad luck?
Luck felt like such an insufficient word.
183
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,868
And just when it seemed like
our heartbreak would destroy us,
184
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:39,038
we tried one last time.
And what do you know?
185
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:40,882
Our luck changed.
186
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,375
-[sentimental music playing]
-[gasps] Oh, my God!
187
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,045
-[group coos]
-[leader] Your luck can change, too.
188
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,551
But you need to stop with the self-talk
189
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,966
that says there's something wrong
with you, with your body.
190
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:54,675
Stop shaming yourself.
191
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:56,596
Repeat after me.
192
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,389
I am not broken.
193
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:00,436
[all] I am not broken.
194
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:01,556
Join hands.
195
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:04,863
Say it again.
196
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,567
Now you can talk. Okay?
197
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:09,111
I am not broken.
198
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,160
[all] I am not broken.
199
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,120
-Say until you believe it.
-[all] I am not broken.
200
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:15,997
I am not broken.
201
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,158
-[leader] There we go.
-[all] I am not broken.
202
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:20,207
-[leader] Yes.
-[all] I am not broken.
203
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,415
I am not broken.
204
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,415
I am not broken.
205
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,170
I am not broken.
206
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,296
Wow. That was a lot to take in.
207
00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:32,012
Yeah. Pastor Wayne has a way of saying
things without saying anything.
208
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,350
-I don't know.
-He just goes on and on
209
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,020
about how you can have your feelings,
210
00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:40,598
but I just think he wants you to stay sad,
like, wallow in it all.
211
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,015
It's good for his business. [laughs]
212
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:48,106
I actually was in his grief group,
and I didn't get anything out of it.
213
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:49,534
Hey, Jen.
214
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:52,242
Hi.
215
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,083
I think you get out of it
what you put into it.
216
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,158
But what do I know?
217
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,706
-Oh, shit!
-Busted!
218
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,462
I know, but I wasn't lying.
219
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,754
-I actually did get something out of it.
-Yeah?
220
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:10,167
Sometimes, it's nice to know you're not
the only one who asks dumb questions.
221
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,298
-Right.
-You know?
222
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,636
Well, I'm glad you got
something out of it.
223
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,434
Do you wanna get a drink?
224
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,934
Just... I happen to know that this place
has margaritas
225
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:23,017
that are mediocre yet very effective.
226
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,903
I can't. I'm sorry.
227
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,942
I already signed up for Man-to-Man Yoga.
228
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,782
Oh, that sounds gay.
229
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:31,494
Not in a bad way.
230
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,161
Sorry, just in, like, a...
231
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:35,696
Are you gay... way?
232
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:36,993
No. I'm not.
233
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,486
-Oh.
-It's "man-to-man."
234
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,960
Oh, it's not "man-in-man."
235
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,128
-No.
-I heard "man-in-man."
236
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,294
-No.
-That's why I said that.
237
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:47,667
That's a different class.
238
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,343
-No, man to man.
-Okay.
239
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,722
Men are less flexible,
physically and emotionally.
240
00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:53,299
It's supposed to work both angles.
241
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,683
-Got it.
-But I'll probably see you around.
242
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:59,101
Maybe at the bar for
Carry-On-Oke or something.
243
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:02,520
-Yeah. I was planning on going to that.
-Okay.
244
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,266
Whatever the fuck that is.
245
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:10,855
[Yolanda] This is for you, Burt.
246
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:15,069
I miss you every day, especially today.
247
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:16,735
Hey.
248
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:20,616
♪ Don't leave me this way, Burt ♪
249
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,458
-Yolanda?
-Cool!
250
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,417
-♪ Can't stay alive ♪
-Carry-On-Oke. Get it?
251
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,671
Oh, I do.
252
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,800
-[laughs] Let's get a drink.
-It's clever.
253
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,721
♪ Don't leave me this way, Burt ♪
254
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,466
Do you think she misses Burt?
255
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,509
-I do.
-I can't tell.
256
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,390
[bartender] There you go.
257
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,480
-Here is to moving on.
-Yup.
258
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,979
♪ Don't leave me this way ♪
259
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,805
Speaking of which, who do you like?
260
00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,733
-Look around.
-No.
261
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,736
-No, I'm gonna have one drink...
-What?
262
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,658
...and then I'm gonna go to the room,
and I'm gonna journal, and meditate,
263
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,158
and spend the night with me.
264
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:59,869
Okay. Go be healthy and boring.
265
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,870
I fully support you getting laid, though.
266
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:02,872
Thank you.
267
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,043
-I don't wanna be like Yolanda.
-Mmm.
268
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,535
-She does sound really good, though.
-God, she does.
269
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,206
Yeah. She's kind of incredible.
270
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,548
♪ Yeah! ♪
271
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:13,512
Amazing.
272
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:14,799
♪ Don't you leave me this way ♪
273
00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,682
Oh, my God. Okay. He's here. He's here.
274
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,554
♪ I can't survive ♪
275
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,724
Oh, my God. I have tequila face.
276
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,930
-I just got really nervous.
-There's nothing to be nervous about.
277
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,767
No, because I just keep
sticking my foot in my mouth with him.
278
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,818
Just be honest with...
He is looking over here at you.
279
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:32,018
-He is?
-Yeah.
280
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,240
Does it look like he likes what he sees?
281
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,648
Mm... hm.
282
00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:38,157
-Yeah?
-How could he not?
283
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,409
You are heaven on a stick.
284
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,079
-Thank you.
-You got this.
285
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:43,159
Okay.
286
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,367
Okay. I got this. Yeah.
287
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,495
I'm gonna go try and fuck that guy.
288
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:49,001
-Yeah, you are.
-Okay, yup.
289
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,503
I'm gonna try to fuck him.
290
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,004
-Go fuck that guy!
-Okay.
291
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,456
-But be careful.
-Yup.
292
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,553
Okay.
293
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,844
-Hi.
-Hey, Jen.
294
00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:57,844
Hey.
295
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,716
-How are you?
-Good. How are you?
296
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,472
So good. Yeah.
297
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,385
So good.
298
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,268
Hey, you know, I'm...
299
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:10,095
I'm sorry if I, like,
offended you earlier today.
300
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,187
It's just shit was coming out of my mouth,
and it was like...
301
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,778
-really, like, awkward.
-Oh, no, no, no.
302
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,950
And I was just trying to make jokes and...
303
00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:20,108
-No, no, no, it's totally fine. Yeah.
-No? Okay.
304
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:26,499
I think it was my, um... lame attempt
to try and flirt with you.
305
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:32,455
Uh... but I haven't flirted with anyone
since my husband died.
306
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,916
I think I'm admitting
that 'cause I'm a little drunk.
307
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,665
-Again?
-Still.
308
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,304
[both laughing]
309
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:43,554
No, I'm so flattered
that you would wanna flirt with me.
310
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,224
-Really?
-Yeah.
311
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:47,850
You're beautiful.
312
00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:50,982
Do you wanna fuck?
313
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,274
-What'd you say?
-I said, uh...
314
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:55,820
do you...
315
00:12:56,233 --> 00:12:57,193
do you... wanna fuck?
316
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:58,396
I'm sorry. I can't hear you.
317
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,026
Oh, sorry. I'm...
318
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:02,912
Would you like to dance?
319
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,660
-Oh, sure. Yeah.
-Yeah.
320
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,502
Because for a second, I thought you
were asking me if I wanted to fuck.
321
00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:10,327
Ha! [laughs]
322
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,084
♪ I can't survive ♪
323
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:17,549
♪ Can't stay alive without your love ♪
324
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:21,010
♪ Don't leave me this way ♪
325
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:24,465
♪ Oh, baby ♪
326
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:28,060
♪ My heart is full of love
And desire for you ♪
327
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:32,476
♪ So come on down and do
What you gotta do ♪
328
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:36,440
♪ You started this fire down in my soul ♪
329
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:40,109
♪ Now, can't you see it's burning
Out of control ♪
330
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,863
♪ So come on satisfy... ♪
331
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,027
You're awesome.
332
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:45,624
-You wanna go to your room?
-Yes.
333
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:46,529
Okay.
334
00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:48,737
♪ Only your good loving
Can set me free ♪
335
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:54,116
♪ Don't leave me this way, baby ♪
336
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,538
[cheering]
337
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,085
[cheering and applause continues]
338
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,092
["Drive" by The Cars playing]
339
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,465
-Check, please.
-[bartender] Okay.
340
00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,015
This is for my best friend who I lost.
341
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,484
♪ Who's gonna tell you when ♪
342
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:20,228
♪ It's too late? ♪
343
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,531
♪ Who's gonna tell you things ♪
344
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:31,913
♪ Aren't so great? ♪
345
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,128
♪ You can't go on ♪
346
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:43,009
♪ Thinking nothing's wrong ♪
347
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,799
-[shrieks]
-[tires screech]
348
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,306
♪ Who's gonna drive you home ♪
349
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,723
♪ Tonight? ♪
350
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,732
♪ Who's gonna hold you down ♪
351
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,395
♪ When you shake? ♪
352
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,115
♪ Who's gonna come around ♪
353
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:13,504
♪ When you break? ♪
354
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:20,708
♪ Oh, you know you can't go on ♪
355
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:26,470
♪ Thinking nothing's wrong ♪
356
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:32,971
♪ Who's gonna drive you home ♪
357
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,064
♪ Tonight? ♪
358
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,018
♪ Tonight ♪
359
00:15:49,698 --> 00:15:51,198
[chatter]
360
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,632
Thanks.
361
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:06,970
♪ Yeah, there's something in the air
I can feel it ♪
362
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,263
You were really good.
363
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:15,766
I love that song.
364
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:18,438
Thanks.
365
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:20,978
It's nice of you to say so.
366
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:26,065
I think it's really refreshing
that you put yourself out there like that,
367
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,695
and you wear your heart on your sleeve.
368
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,026
It's refreshing
that you would come and tell me that.
369
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,461
Well, I wasn't planning
on talking to anybody,
370
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:43,709
but then, I don't know, I just wanted
to tell you that that really moved me.
371
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:44,884
That really got me.
372
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,843
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
373
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,351
And you have such a great beard.
374
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,393
Are you... are you hitting on me?
375
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,769
Do you want me to be hitting on you?
376
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,782
Yeah. I'd like that.
377
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:10,279
Then that is what I'm doing. Probably.
378
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,163
[soft moaning]
379
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,292
Take off your shirt.
380
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:24,329
Oh, yeah.
381
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,054
That's just...
382
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,669
You are in amazing shape.
383
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:29,918
Thanks.
384
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,259
When my wife fell off the boat,
I wasn't strong enough to save her.
385
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:34,263
Okay.
386
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:36,716
You know what?
387
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,894
Let's just...
Let's just try not talking, okay?
388
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,479
She reached out for me and I...
389
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,315
I couldn't pull her up.
390
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:48,531
Okay.
391
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,029
I promised her memory
that I would never be weak again.
392
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:52,743
[sighs deeply]
393
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:53,945
But what does it matter?
394
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,450
[Jason sighs deeply]
395
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,832
She's never coming back.
396
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:01,914
[breathes deeply]
397
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:02,962
I'm sorry.
398
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,077
I'm sorry.
399
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,342
I became obsessed with lifting.
400
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,090
And then my diet.
I live a life of total deprivation.
401
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:13,594
I deny myself so much.
402
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:15,797
Yeah.
403
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,595
Have you seen my purse?
404
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:18,509
I'm sorry.
405
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,019
You should probably go.
406
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,560
Yeah, I know.
That's why I'm looking for my purse.
407
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:33,779
[knocks]
408
00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:35,322
-Hi.
-Hi.
409
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:38,738
-How did it go?
-Oh, it didn't.
410
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,448
Can I come in, please?
411
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:43,156
Uh... I'm kind of hanging out with Nick.
412
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:44,714
Who's Nick?
413
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,630
-Um...
-I thought you were gonna focus on you.
414
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:50,497
Oh, I am.
But he would also like to focus on me.
415
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,669
Mm-hm. Got it.
416
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,090
I'm not really prepared, though.
417
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,642
Prepared how?
418
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,809
Downstairs. My poontang.
419
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,181
You said "poontang."
420
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,726
I did. I know.
421
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,389
-It's not sexy, right?
-It's a gross word.
422
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,597
-Don't say it in there?
-No.
423
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:09,767
-Okay.
-So what kind of landscape are we talking?
424
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,147
Oh, it's lush.
425
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,073
Oh.
426
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,031
Just lean in, baby.
427
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:15,151
-Really?
-Yeah.
428
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:17,488
Thank you.
429
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,366
-Can I take the room for a minute?
-Mm-hm.
430
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:23,541
-I'd probably be more than a minute.
-Okay. I got it.
431
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,621
-Be careful.
-Okay.
432
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:27,326
Yuck!
433
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,134
[sighs]
434
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,403
[moaning]
435
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,373
Wow.
436
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:04,914
This is not how I was expecting
the weekend to go.
437
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,160
Me either.
438
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:09,495
Um...
439
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:12,884
Okay.
440
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:18,007
If it's cool, I just...
I'd like to take it slow.
441
00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:20,302
I want you to like me in the morning.
442
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,552
Oh, my God. That's so sweet.
443
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:26,312
It's not a line. I'm not a player.
444
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,305
You have very healthy boundaries.
445
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,727
-You think it's nerdy?
-No, I think it's sexy.
446
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:37,404
Okay, but when you say slow,
like, define slow.
447
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:39,395
We have to define it?
448
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:42,243
Well, I mean,
do you mean, like, just kissing,
449
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,794
or do you mean, like, everything but?
450
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,292
[Nick inhales deeply]
451
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,120
Well... my job,
452
00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:54,500
it requires that I be very deliberate,
453
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:59,757
that I take my time, that I be thorough,
454
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,889
and then I satisfy everyone I serve.
455
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,845
How seriously do you take your job?
456
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,149
Oh!
457
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,402
Natural woman.
458
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,654
You're welcome.
459
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,073
[squeals]
460
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:25,491
[Wayne] Nice night, huh?
461
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,874
Oh, Jesus.
462
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:29,117
You got to stop
sneaking up on me like that.
463
00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:31,424
Sorry. I was just looking
for someplace to be alone.
464
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:33,537
Just need to unwind a bit.
465
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,291
Yeah. Me too.
466
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:38,046
-You know what? Why don't I just--?
-No, it's okay.
467
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,381
It's okay.
468
00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:43,509
We can... be alone together.
469
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:47,426
Do you mind if I smoke?
470
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:48,845
No.
471
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,062
Mind if I drink?
472
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:54,308
Look at you.
473
00:21:55,814 --> 00:21:56,944
You mind sharing?
474
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:00,356
[Nick] You're an artist.
475
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:03,489
Hmm, not really. I just paint for myself.
476
00:22:04,948 --> 00:22:06,828
-Did you paint that little girl?
-Yeah.
477
00:22:07,951 --> 00:22:09,491
Then you're an artist.
478
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:11,789
You don't think they're creepy?
479
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,497
Um... I do.
480
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:15,794
But they're also beautiful.
481
00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:20,424
-Thanks.
-Yeah.
482
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:24,892
So tell me about your friend.
483
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,347
The one that you dedicated the song to.
484
00:22:27,929 --> 00:22:29,929
-Lucas.
-Yeah. Lucas.
485
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,143
Yeah. Well...
486
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:34,899
we...
487
00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:37,312
worked together. We were partners.
488
00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,479
-I'm sorry.
-Yeah.
489
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,148
I don't know
what it's like to be a widower,
490
00:22:43,236 --> 00:22:44,906
or to lose a kid, but...
491
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,528
I definitely know
what it's like to lose a best friend.
492
00:22:49,826 --> 00:22:52,366
-It sucks.
-Yeah. That would be really hard.
493
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,418
I haven't even been back to work
since he died.
494
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,250
How did it happen?
495
00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:00,458
On duty.
496
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:03,304
I'm sorry...
497
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:06,049
what is it that you do?
498
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,972
[Jen] I wanna apologize
for what I said earlier.
499
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,221
I know you think I'm a dick.
500
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,022
-Not at all.
-A little.
501
00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:18,110
Maybe a little.
502
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:20,613
I'm sorry. I...
503
00:23:21,775 --> 00:23:22,935
I know you mean well.
504
00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:26,445
Like, I know you don't take
the work seriously,
505
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,030
or me seriously.
506
00:23:28,365 --> 00:23:31,115
-Look, don't take it personally.
-I don't.
507
00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:35,158
Yeah. I know you use cynicism
as a way to deal with grief.
508
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:36,252
You're not the first.
509
00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:39,633
No. But I am the best.
510
00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:41,709
Oh, yeah. You've raised the bar.
511
00:23:41,837 --> 00:23:44,417
Ah! It's good to be appreciated.
512
00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:47,177
I do appreciate you.
513
00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:58,595
He was... he was cheating on me.
514
00:23:59,729 --> 00:24:00,729
My husband.
515
00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:02,568
Before he died.
516
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:04,395
I just found out.
517
00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:06,532
[sighs]
518
00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:08,525
I'm so sorry.
519
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:10,738
Yeah. Me too.
520
00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:16,788
How does knowing that make you feel?
521
00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:25,007
Like I hate him.
522
00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:30,591
That seems right.
523
00:24:31,928 --> 00:24:33,468
[tearfully] I don't want to hate him.
524
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,390
I don't want to feel
any of this shit anymore.
525
00:24:38,351 --> 00:24:39,191
Jen...
526
00:24:39,519 --> 00:24:43,939
I know I'm supposed to forgive him
because that's the way through, and...
527
00:24:44,441 --> 00:24:47,191
Look, see, I... I listen.
528
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:50,784
I just don't like to apply it.
529
00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:53,871
[exhales]
530
00:24:53,950 --> 00:24:55,790
Maybe you can't forgive him for dying.
531
00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:01,544
-He didn't mean to die.
-Fair.
532
00:25:02,542 --> 00:25:05,052
But you don't know
how your story was gonna end,
533
00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:08,300
and someone just ripped
those pages out of your book.
534
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:10,838
Right.
535
00:25:11,384 --> 00:25:14,854
Maybe he was gonna tell you or apologize.
536
00:25:15,597 --> 00:25:16,557
Or leave me.
537
00:25:18,016 --> 00:25:19,136
He did leave you.
538
00:25:22,062 --> 00:25:23,652
[sighs deeply] Yeah.
539
00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:27,113
Believe it or not, what I'm hearing...
540
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:30,605
is that you really loved him.
541
00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:38,332
Yeah.
542
00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:42,424
[sighs] Yeah.
543
00:25:47,462 --> 00:25:48,712
Do you have any cigarettes?
544
00:25:50,006 --> 00:25:50,836
No.
545
00:26:06,439 --> 00:26:07,479
Oh, shoot.
546
00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:09,276
-[horn blares]
-Oh!
547
00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:14,908
[sobbing]
548
00:26:18,868 --> 00:26:19,948
Oh, my God...
549
00:26:47,063 --> 00:26:47,983
[zipper rasps]
550
00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:52,111
Hi.
551
00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:54,453
Hi.
552
00:26:56,781 --> 00:26:57,621
Are you okay?
553
00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:00,487
No.
554
00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,077
How was your night?
555
00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:09,247
Um, it was... maybe better than yours?
556
00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:14,550
I need to get my shit together, Judy.
557
00:27:15,634 --> 00:27:17,594
-Okay.
-For my boys.
558
00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:20,139
Okay.
559
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,683
But there's no escaping it. It's just...
560
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,810
It's, like, wherever you go,
there you are. You know?
561
00:27:31,024 --> 00:27:31,904
Yeah.
562
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:36,530
Which just... sucks.
563
00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:42,293
I wish you didn't feel like that.
564
00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:44,695
Well, I do.
565
00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:49,498
Because someone ripped my life apart.
566
00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:55,217
I hate that person.
567
00:27:57,884 --> 00:27:59,894
[water running]
568
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:02,720
[door opens]
569
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,191
Hi.
570
00:28:08,144 --> 00:28:09,064
[Nick] Hey.
571
00:28:10,063 --> 00:28:11,063
This is my friend, Jen.
572
00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:16,652
I usually look a little better than this.
573
00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:19,033
Hello, friend.
574
00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:20,569
-[sniffs]
-This is Nick.
575
00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:22,741
Hi, Nick.
576
00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:30,713
He's a cop.
577
00:28:33,753 --> 00:28:35,803
A detective, actually.
578
00:28:42,762 --> 00:28:44,222
You ever solve a hit-and-run?
579
00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:49,096
Yes.
37920
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