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1
00:00:08,261 --> 00:00:10,141
[Frank] Now, nobody's saying
the Chatsworth Estate
2
00:00:10,221 --> 00:00:13,580
is the Garden of Eden,
but it's been a good home to us,
3
00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:17,501
to me, Frank Gallagher,
and me kids, who I'm proud of,
4
00:00:17,581 --> 00:00:21,940
cos every single one of 'em
reminds me a little of me.
5
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:24,261
See, they can all think for themselves,
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00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:26,460
which they've got me to thank for.
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00:00:26,541 --> 00:00:27,660
[Lip] Quick, leg it!
8
00:00:27,741 --> 00:00:29,620
[Frank] Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite,
9
00:00:29,701 --> 00:00:32,540
which is why nobody
calls him Phillip anymore.
10
00:00:32,621 --> 00:00:35,141
Ian, lot like his mam,
which is handy for the others,
11
00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:37,141
cos she's disappeared into thin air.
12
00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:39,981
And Carl. We daren't let him
grow his hair for two reasons.
13
00:00:40,061 --> 00:00:42,661
One, it makes it stand on end
and makes him look like Toyah.
14
00:00:42,741 --> 00:00:44,101
Two, nits love him.
15
00:00:44,181 --> 00:00:47,260
Debbie! Sent by God, total angel.
16
00:00:47,341 --> 00:00:48,421
You've to check your change,
17
00:00:48,501 --> 00:00:50,701
but she'll go miles out of her way
to do you a favor.
18
00:00:51,501 --> 00:00:54,781
Plus lickle Liam,
who's gonna be a star someday.
19
00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,821
Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier.
20
00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:59,860
One plate short of a full set, like.
21
00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:03,061
And fantastic neighbors,
Kev and Veronica.
22
00:01:03,141 --> 00:01:05,381
Lend you anything.
Well, almost anything.
23
00:01:05,461 --> 00:01:07,821
Carol and Marty,
the lodgers from hell.
24
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,181
Last of the lonely hearts
and a psychologist's wet dream.
25
00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:12,861
Still, nobody's perfect.
26
00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:16,661
But all of 'em, to a man,
know first and foremost
27
00:01:16,741 --> 00:01:19,541
one of the most vital necessities
in life is,
28
00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,981
they know how to throw a party!
29
00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:23,500
[chuckles] Scatter!
30
00:01:23,581 --> 00:01:25,420
-[music playing]
-[Debbie] In social studies,
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00:01:25,981 --> 00:01:27,700
we learnt that
when families first started,
32
00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:29,981
it was because we were
primitive hunter-gatherers
33
00:01:30,060 --> 00:01:31,140
who needed the family unit
to protect
34
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,381
-the weaker, younger members.
-[Carol retches]
35
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:35,220
That way, they could survive
and become
36
00:01:35,301 --> 00:01:36,341
the next lot of hunter gatherers.
37
00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:37,621
State of her.
38
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,261
["Pon de Replay"]
39
00:01:39,341 --> 00:01:41,461
Er, Carl, get her next door now.
40
00:01:41,541 --> 00:01:42,661
-Why?
-Now!
41
00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:46,941
Sorry, Carol,
but I did make it clear.
42
00:01:47,021 --> 00:01:48,381
It was guest list only.
43
00:01:49,341 --> 00:01:50,741
Must be something I've eaten.
44
00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:53,220
-[retches, coughs]
-[Carl] Come here, Carol.
45
00:01:53,301 --> 00:01:55,301
Come on. Come on. Let's go.
46
00:01:58,420 --> 00:01:59,461
-Concentrate.
-[door opens]
47
00:01:59,541 --> 00:02:01,140
Cheeky Vimto.
48
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,261
What you on about?
49
00:02:03,341 --> 00:02:05,021
-It's got vodka in it, Carol.
-[door closes]
50
00:02:06,021 --> 00:02:09,021
I told Debbie straight off:
no spirits, no class-As.
51
00:02:12,581 --> 00:02:13,901
-[music playing]
-[indistinct chatter]
52
00:02:14,941 --> 00:02:17,341
-Fuck me!
-Looks like a party.
53
00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:21,581
[Debbie] But they reckon that
since the industrial revolution,
54
00:02:21,661 --> 00:02:24,141
the modern family has developed
into a different unit.
55
00:02:24,221 --> 00:02:28,380
Now its main role is the emotional
and moral welfare of the young.
56
00:02:28,461 --> 00:02:29,741
-[cheering]
-What's that about?
57
00:02:29,820 --> 00:02:31,701
I mean, as long as there isn't
a woolly mammoth
58
00:02:31,781 --> 00:02:33,941
biting my arse,
I can look after meself,
59
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,181
-ta very much.
-[girls] Three, two, one.
60
00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:37,341
[indistinct chatter]
61
00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:41,501
Fancy a bit of chill-out space, love,
you're welcome to come next door.
62
00:02:41,581 --> 00:02:43,980
-Oi! Out!
-It's much quieter.
63
00:02:44,061 --> 00:02:45,661
Lip, you promised!
64
00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:53,141
You know that were Nicola.
65
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:55,061
Yeah.
66
00:02:56,901 --> 00:02:59,501
-What, in Debbie's class?
-Yeah.
67
00:03:00,141 --> 00:03:01,461
Christ!
68
00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:02,861
Arse on her, though.
69
00:03:04,781 --> 00:03:05,941
[Sue sighs]
70
00:03:06,021 --> 00:03:07,461
[man over TV]
I suppose it would, really.
71
00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:09,100
More acceleration--
I mean, how far can you--
72
00:03:09,181 --> 00:03:11,221
-How far have you gone?
-What do you think?
73
00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:12,741
[woman over TV]
...couple of miles...
74
00:03:12,820 --> 00:03:14,100
Fantastic!
75
00:03:14,181 --> 00:03:15,581
I wasn't sure about the material.
76
00:03:15,941 --> 00:03:17,941
It's always a bit iffy
from the catalogue.
77
00:03:18,501 --> 00:03:19,980
Just can't tell looking at it.
78
00:03:20,061 --> 00:03:22,021
You're gorgeous.
Fuck your brains out!
79
00:03:22,341 --> 00:03:23,221
Yeah, but... [sighs]
80
00:03:23,301 --> 00:03:25,260
...you don't think the straps
are a bit funny?
81
00:03:25,661 --> 00:03:26,980
See what I mean?
82
00:03:27,301 --> 00:03:28,581
All right, which color do you like?
83
00:03:28,661 --> 00:03:30,021
[man over TV]
You do this for pleasure.
84
00:03:30,100 --> 00:03:31,461
-I think this is...
-[Marty] Er...
85
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:33,941
That one.
86
00:03:34,741 --> 00:03:37,621
Really? I always think cream
washes me out.
87
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,181
Oh, I got a top and all.
88
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,380
Sue, I don't give a fuck.
Just come here, will you?
89
00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:46,221
-[indistinct chatter on TV]
-[Sue moans]
90
00:03:47,781 --> 00:03:49,380
-[man on TV] Are we going--
-[electricity crackles]
91
00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:50,621
[guests exclaiming]
92
00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:52,980
-Fuck's that?
-[Ian] Don't think so.
93
00:03:53,061 --> 00:03:55,501
-Everybody out.
-[indistinct chatter]
94
00:03:55,581 --> 00:03:57,021
Shut up and get out.
95
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,501
-That's it. Come on.
-[indistinct chatter]
96
00:04:00,461 --> 00:04:02,461
[Lip] You trying to turn
the place into a shag pit?
97
00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:04,820
It's nothing to do with me.
We must have had a power cut.
98
00:04:04,901 --> 00:04:06,061
Nice try, Debs.
99
00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:09,181
-Lip, it's not even midnight!
-Come on. Keep moving.
100
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:10,380
Come on.
101
00:04:11,741 --> 00:04:12,581
That's it.
102
00:04:17,781 --> 00:04:19,581
-Where's Liam?
-[Debbie] Er, party.
103
00:04:19,661 --> 00:04:21,821
He stayed the night
at Kev and Veronica's, duh.
104
00:04:22,581 --> 00:04:25,261
No, I mean,
aren't you taking him to school?
105
00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:28,781
[sighs] You can do it.
106
00:04:29,221 --> 00:04:31,141
One night,
I asked for some consideration.
107
00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:33,821
I asked for the place to meself,
no interference,
108
00:04:33,981 --> 00:04:35,901
but you treat me like a little kid!
109
00:04:35,981 --> 00:04:38,661
Right, well, if I'm a little kid,
I'll start acting like one,
110
00:04:38,740 --> 00:04:41,261
and little kids can't look after
their little brothers.
111
00:04:44,141 --> 00:04:45,341
Lecky's gone, you div.
112
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:47,581
Debbie!
113
00:05:09,661 --> 00:05:10,901
[Carol] Kettle's bust.
114
00:05:11,381 --> 00:05:13,861
And I've got a mouth
like a goat's lavatory.
115
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:15,981
Carol, give me a heart attack.
116
00:05:16,781 --> 00:05:18,940
It's the lecky. Went off last night.
117
00:05:19,021 --> 00:05:20,060
None in the Gallagher's either.
118
00:05:20,781 --> 00:05:23,180
For you. Just junk mail,
by the look of it.
119
00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:30,940
-They've come.
-[Kev] What?
120
00:05:31,021 --> 00:05:32,821
[Veronica chuckles]
121
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:38,661
Fucking hell. "Tonight, Matthew,
I'm Myra Hindley."
122
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:40,060
Fuck off! Hey!
123
00:05:40,901 --> 00:05:43,341
Least I don't look like
Ken fucking Dodd. [laughs]
124
00:05:44,341 --> 00:05:47,180
Hey. Cyprus, eh? Hmm.
125
00:05:47,821 --> 00:05:48,940
Sex on the beach.
126
00:05:50,021 --> 00:05:51,261
Mile-high club.
127
00:05:51,341 --> 00:05:53,500
-[giggles]
-You dirty bitch.
128
00:05:54,620 --> 00:05:56,261
Is it really a mile up?
129
00:05:56,341 --> 00:05:57,500
How d'you mean?
130
00:05:57,581 --> 00:05:58,701
-[moans]
-Up in the sky,
131
00:05:58,781 --> 00:06:00,620
is it-- Is it a mile up, like?
132
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,901
I don't know, do I?
I mean, must be...
133
00:06:03,541 --> 00:06:04,740
if that's what they call it.
134
00:06:08,581 --> 00:06:09,940
-[Veronica chuckles]
-Oh, no, no. Veronica,
135
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,620
Veronica, not--
Not with Liam here.
136
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:14,581
I-- I, er, feel a bit weird.
137
00:06:14,661 --> 00:06:16,261
He's fast asleep.
I've just checked him on my way in.
138
00:06:16,341 --> 00:06:17,940
-Come on.
-No, no, no.
139
00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:20,461
Here y'are, look--
Look, I need a wazz, anyway.
140
00:06:21,461 --> 00:06:24,021
Veronica, have you not got
any butter?
141
00:06:24,101 --> 00:06:26,901
I can only find that diet spread stuff.
142
00:06:27,541 --> 00:06:29,261
Oh, for fuck's sake.
143
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:43,581
[Debbie] Hi, babe.
144
00:06:43,661 --> 00:06:45,221
Hiya.
145
00:06:58,541 --> 00:06:59,940
Thanks.
146
00:07:05,781 --> 00:07:08,260
[sighs] Another dead soldier.
147
00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:10,781
Er, no more until he's paid.
148
00:07:10,861 --> 00:07:13,781
Your tab's frozen, Frank.
You're on pay-as-you-go.
149
00:07:13,861 --> 00:07:14,901
Oh, "Your tab's frozen, Frank."
150
00:07:14,981 --> 00:07:17,341
"No more till you've--"
Thank you, Nat fucking West.
151
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:23,060
-[mouths]
-I ca-- No, sorry.
152
00:07:23,141 --> 00:07:24,341
Got holiday coming up.
153
00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:26,101
Need all me spare change
for spending money.
154
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:30,661
Oh, Thatcher's children, Kevin.
Always wanting more,
155
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:32,500
surrounding ourselves with...
156
00:07:33,461 --> 00:07:35,380
-things.
-Yeah, well, me and Vee
157
00:07:35,461 --> 00:07:38,021
haven't been away
in nearly six years, so...
158
00:07:38,781 --> 00:07:41,421
Instant gratification.
Sheila's the same.
159
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,901
"It's for the wedding, Frank.
I know we're on a tight budget, Frank."
160
00:07:43,981 --> 00:07:45,901
Tenner to last me a fucking week.
161
00:07:46,461 --> 00:07:47,781
Tommy!
162
00:07:49,740 --> 00:07:54,541
-[Tommy laughing] Hey!
-Oh, lovely!
163
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:55,500
Smoke alarms.
164
00:07:55,581 --> 00:07:58,180
Council has to fit 'em
as standard now.
165
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:01,060
They pay a fortune for kite marks...
166
00:08:01,141 --> 00:08:02,260
[Frank] Yeah, course they do.
167
00:08:02,341 --> 00:08:03,781
It's fucking taxpayers' money,
isn't it?
168
00:08:03,861 --> 00:08:06,541
They bear no responsibility,
these people.
169
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,901
Got it in one, Frank.
170
00:08:08,981 --> 00:08:11,301
So, me and Phil.
171
00:08:11,861 --> 00:08:14,060
We pick up a load of Korean units
172
00:08:14,141 --> 00:08:15,781
for next to nowt, right?
173
00:08:15,861 --> 00:08:18,221
Then... we install them,
174
00:08:18,301 --> 00:08:20,500
and we flog the pricey ones
up in Chorlton.
175
00:08:20,581 --> 00:08:23,141
-Nice little earner.
-[Frank laughing] Fucking...
176
00:08:24,781 --> 00:08:25,940
[Tommy] Here we go.
177
00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:27,180
-You on vitamins, or--
-Oh, no.
178
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:31,021
Another nice little earner.
Drug trials.
179
00:08:31,101 --> 00:08:33,980
I get 200 quid for taking these
for three weeks.
180
00:08:34,741 --> 00:08:36,261
Do fuck all as far as I can see.
181
00:08:37,261 --> 00:08:38,901
Mind you,
I do have a permanent boner.
182
00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:42,421
[all laugh]
183
00:08:47,781 --> 00:08:49,421
[footsteps approaching]
184
00:08:50,980 --> 00:08:53,861
[sighs]
Liam not back from karate yet?
185
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:56,021
Shit!
186
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,301
[clapping]
187
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:02,901
My name's Judith,
and I'm an alcoholic.
188
00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:04,261
[applauding]
189
00:09:07,661 --> 00:09:09,181
[Debbie]
Do you mind if I have a word?
190
00:09:09,741 --> 00:09:12,741
All right. Don't tell Lip,
cos I'm on strike,
191
00:09:12,821 --> 00:09:14,181
but I rang the electricity company,
192
00:09:14,261 --> 00:09:15,980
and they swear on their lives
they've not made a mistake
193
00:09:16,061 --> 00:09:16,980
about the bill.
194
00:09:17,061 --> 00:09:19,181
They won't restore the supply
until we've paid.
195
00:09:19,261 --> 00:09:20,661
Will you sort it?
196
00:09:20,741 --> 00:09:23,220
Can we pay your electricity bill?
197
00:09:24,821 --> 00:09:26,381
We run off the same supply.
198
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:29,021
Steve hooked it up when
he and Fiona was living next door.
199
00:09:29,541 --> 00:09:31,340
It made it easier for him
to take care of everything.
200
00:09:31,421 --> 00:09:33,980
-Did you know about this?
-No.
201
00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:36,741
-Not right, is it?
-[Carol] Not right?
202
00:09:36,821 --> 00:09:37,860
It's criminal.
203
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:39,501
Hang on.
204
00:09:39,581 --> 00:09:43,381
I gave you £50 to pay
the electricity bill not two weeks ago.
205
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,381
What happened to it?
206
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:47,941
You know what?
I bet I forgot to post it.
207
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,181
I'm always doing that.
208
00:09:49,261 --> 00:09:51,460
Stamp on, then it stays
in me bag for months.
209
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:53,181
I'll sort it tomorrow.
210
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,261
We'll sort it now.
211
00:09:57,301 --> 00:09:58,741
How many bags have you got?
212
00:09:59,501 --> 00:10:00,781
Nicola's got one like that.
213
00:10:01,821 --> 00:10:05,141
-It's yours. I never use it.
-[Debbie] Oh, thanks, Sue.
214
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:07,141
Ladies-- Bitches!
215
00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:09,100
Be getting dark soon--
Bonfire night!
216
00:10:09,181 --> 00:10:10,061
-Marty.
-Thank you.
217
00:10:10,141 --> 00:10:12,261
[Carol] Sue can't find
the electric bill.
218
00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:13,581
I thought you told me
you paid it.
219
00:10:13,661 --> 00:10:15,100
I have. I've just not posted it on.
220
00:10:17,301 --> 00:10:18,381
It won't be in there!
221
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:21,501
When are you gonna tell us
what's going on?
222
00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:24,100
What are you trying to infer, Carol?
223
00:10:24,181 --> 00:10:26,381
I've got eyes in me head,
unlike Marty.
224
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:29,701
-New outfit every 20 minutes.
-Marty, will you tell her?
225
00:10:29,781 --> 00:10:31,460
-Fuck, shit, wank!
-Ah.
226
00:10:34,340 --> 00:10:35,781
All right. I needed the money
for the lecky
227
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:38,220
cos I got myself into a bit of debt, OK?
228
00:10:38,301 --> 00:10:39,340
Is that what you wanted to hear?
229
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,781
-How much debt?
-[Sue] It's nothing.
230
00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:43,621
You know I'm waiting on that money
from Craig's dad's house.
231
00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:45,261
It'll clear with thousands
to spare.
232
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:47,860
I mean, why should
I put my life on hold?
233
00:10:47,941 --> 00:10:49,941
-How much?
-How much, Sue, love?
234
00:10:50,621 --> 00:10:51,860
Twelve grand.
235
00:10:58,100 --> 00:10:59,701
[Sue]
Some of them are really nasty.
236
00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:01,980
County court orders and that.
237
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,901
You'll end up inside
if you're not careful.
238
00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:07,980
I'm really sorry, Marty.
239
00:11:08,941 --> 00:11:11,141
Hey, we'll sort it together, OK?
240
00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:12,421
[scoffs]
241
00:11:14,381 --> 00:11:15,821
Is this it, though? Is this the lot?
242
00:11:15,901 --> 00:11:18,100
Cause you've got to be honest
with me, OK? Tit wank!
243
00:11:18,181 --> 00:11:20,860
-No more trying to hide it.
-Way of life with her.
244
00:11:20,941 --> 00:11:22,301
Mum, just piss off out of it, will you?
245
00:11:28,781 --> 00:11:30,141
Thank you.
246
00:11:30,661 --> 00:11:32,100
No problem. [chuckles]
247
00:11:32,181 --> 00:11:33,421
It's like you say.
248
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,460
This money that you're owed
from Craig.
249
00:11:35,541 --> 00:11:37,141
Well, there must be some way
to throw him a bone.
250
00:11:38,941 --> 00:11:41,381
-Do you hate me?
-Of course I don't.
251
00:11:41,460 --> 00:11:42,781
Bloodsucking bitch!
252
00:11:43,821 --> 00:11:44,701
I love you.
253
00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:47,821
Sue, you're the best thing
that's ever happened to me,
254
00:11:47,901 --> 00:11:48,860
no contest.
255
00:11:57,501 --> 00:11:59,301
[Carl] Deb's on strike!
It's doing me head in.
256
00:11:59,381 --> 00:12:00,381
Liam, shoes.
257
00:12:01,901 --> 00:12:03,261
No bread left.
258
00:12:03,781 --> 00:12:05,701
I haven't had time to shop, have I?
259
00:12:10,301 --> 00:12:11,980
Fu... [huffs]
260
00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:14,381
We'll get you some crisps
on the way to school.
261
00:12:15,261 --> 00:12:17,100
-Where's your socks, Liam?
-I don't know.
262
00:12:17,581 --> 00:12:19,141
[sighs]
263
00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:20,901
-[knocking on door]
-Come in.
264
00:12:23,301 --> 00:12:24,701
Hiya.
265
00:12:24,781 --> 00:12:26,220
[Debbie] Morning.
266
00:12:26,301 --> 00:12:28,421
-I'm loving the bag, babe.
-Thanks.
267
00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:31,100
[Nicola] See ya.
268
00:12:32,261 --> 00:12:34,941
[Lip] Look, you're just gonna
have to wear a pair of mine.
269
00:12:35,021 --> 00:12:37,421
-They're a bit big, but--
-[Liam] Lip, it hurts!
270
00:12:37,501 --> 00:12:38,581
OK, fine.
271
00:12:38,661 --> 00:12:41,061
No frigging socks! Go bare feet.
272
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:43,620
Yeah? Don't ask or owt.
273
00:12:43,701 --> 00:12:45,781
I haven't got any of my own clean,
have I?
274
00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:46,781
I'm off out after school.
275
00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:48,781
Oh, who's gonna make tea
for these two, then?
276
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:50,980
Supposed to be seeing
Katie and Mandy tonight.
277
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,141
Can't Carl manage?
278
00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:53,421
-What?
-[Lip] Shit.
279
00:12:53,501 --> 00:12:54,821
This is it, you know?
280
00:12:54,901 --> 00:12:57,181
Once Debbie cops off
with some horny little loser,
281
00:12:57,261 --> 00:12:58,980
-this is our lives here.
-We'll be OK.
282
00:12:59,061 --> 00:13:00,781
We just need a routine and that.
283
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,301
[Lip] Yeah.
284
00:13:05,181 --> 00:13:07,661
Well, no, you're right.
We need a plan.
285
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:09,781
-Nip it in the bud.
-[Carl gulps]
286
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:11,261
[Ian] Scruff.
287
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:15,340
[phone ringing]
288
00:13:17,821 --> 00:13:20,381
It's just a few questions about
your lifestyle, Mr Gallagher.
289
00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:21,701
Right you are, love.
Nothing there
290
00:13:21,781 --> 00:13:24,381
to frighten the horses.
[chuckles] Happy to oblige.
291
00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:28,541
Right, "male or female?"
Oh, definitely a yes.
292
00:13:31,740 --> 00:13:33,501
I'll just... Yeah.
293
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:34,980
Right.
294
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:36,701
Oh, diet.
295
00:13:37,421 --> 00:13:40,421
"Do you eat five portions
of fruit and vegetables a day?"
296
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,141
Do I look like fucking Bugs Bunny?
297
00:13:44,141 --> 00:13:44,980
Yes.
298
00:13:46,541 --> 00:13:50,100
"How much alcohol
do you consume weekly?
299
00:13:50,181 --> 00:13:54,821
A, no alcohol.
B, one to 21 units weekly?"
300
00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:56,980
Yeah. Weekly.
301
00:13:57,860 --> 00:14:00,340
"C, over 21 units."
302
00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:06,701
I see you say you don't drink,
Mr Gallagher.
303
00:14:07,541 --> 00:14:09,421
Yeah, well me mum
was a Methodist, love.
304
00:14:09,501 --> 00:14:11,581
I promised her on her deathbed.
305
00:14:11,661 --> 00:14:13,860
In that case, we'll have
to keep your details on file.
306
00:14:14,541 --> 00:14:16,740
This particular trial involves
taking the drug in conjunction
307
00:14:16,821 --> 00:14:18,581
with at least two units
of alcohol a day.
308
00:14:20,740 --> 00:14:22,021
[sighs]
309
00:14:23,701 --> 00:14:24,661
All right, I'll do it.
310
00:14:25,301 --> 00:14:26,980
Well, me mum was
a wonderful woman, you know.
311
00:14:27,061 --> 00:14:28,581
She was--
Actually, she was devoted
312
00:14:28,661 --> 00:14:31,181
to medical science.
Absolutely devoted to it.
313
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:33,301
She could have trained up
if she'd have had the opportunities.
314
00:14:33,381 --> 00:14:36,860
Donated her body, you know,
her eyes and-- And all that.
315
00:14:36,941 --> 00:14:38,781
And that was the other thing
that she said to me
316
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:40,021
on her deathbed.
317
00:14:40,661 --> 00:14:44,100
"Son, promise me you'll do
everything you can
318
00:14:44,181 --> 00:14:45,860
for medical science."
319
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:47,901
So I'm here. [chuckles]
320
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:51,740
It's Lady Muck you should
be asking for money, not me.
321
00:14:51,821 --> 00:14:53,581
I said from the get-go
she was trouble.
322
00:14:53,661 --> 00:14:54,581
Feet under the table
323
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:56,581
before you could say
Jack Robinson.
324
00:14:56,661 --> 00:14:58,381
Point is, Carol,
Sue hasn't got the money.
325
00:14:58,460 --> 00:15:00,220
So if you don't pay
to get us reconnected,
326
00:15:00,301 --> 00:15:02,860
it's not gonna happen.
We're all brassic at ours.
327
00:15:02,941 --> 00:15:05,860
Fine state of affairs this is.
328
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:08,620
We're supposed to be your tenants,
not your parents.
329
00:15:08,701 --> 00:15:11,220
Yeah, and we're charging
you 30 quid a week
330
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:13,100
less than you're claiming
in housing benefits.
331
00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:16,980
I'm supposed to be putting
a bit by for me old age.
332
00:15:17,061 --> 00:15:19,261
-Nobody cares.
-Thanks.
333
00:15:19,941 --> 00:15:22,021
And if any of the lads ask you,
you sorted it yourself.
334
00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:25,620
You know, you'll get blackheads
from putting so much makeup on.
335
00:15:25,701 --> 00:15:26,701
Clogs your pores.
336
00:15:39,821 --> 00:15:42,220
A foaming tankard
of your finest ale,
337
00:15:42,301 --> 00:15:44,541
-mein innkeeper!
-Frank, you know how it is.
338
00:15:44,620 --> 00:15:46,340
Eh, eh, eh?
339
00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:50,141
Half now, half on completion
of the trial.
340
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:51,261
[scoffs]
341
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,701
No, but it's not just the money,
Jez.
342
00:15:52,781 --> 00:15:54,541
You really feel
like you're putting a bit back.
343
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,541
Well, I suppose it's you
or them monkeys
344
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:58,740
-they grow the tumors on.
-Ah.
345
00:15:58,821 --> 00:16:00,860
[Kev] How many of them tablets
are you having to take Frank?
346
00:16:00,941 --> 00:16:05,980
Er, three every four hour--
Oh, four every three hours.
347
00:16:06,061 --> 00:16:08,661
["Speed of Sound" playing]
348
00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:16,541
Ahhh.
349
00:16:21,141 --> 00:16:23,701
So, basically, Debt Crunchers,
in agreement with yourself,
350
00:16:23,781 --> 00:16:25,901
take what's known
as a consolidation loan.
351
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,541
You're probably wondering
what the heck that is.
352
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,500
Well, I'll tell you.
353
00:16:28,581 --> 00:16:30,781
Basically, it's a way for us
to pay off all your debts,
354
00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:35,500
then we organize it for yourselves
to pay one basic monthly fee to us.
355
00:16:36,141 --> 00:16:37,421
Sounds too good to be true.
356
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,701
It is. People don't realize.
You're homeowners, obviously.
357
00:16:40,781 --> 00:16:42,781
-She is. Well, when--
-Yes.
358
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:44,021
No worries.
359
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:57,620
[thunder rumbling]
360
00:16:59,141 --> 00:17:01,581
No one's ever looked after me
like you do, you know?
361
00:17:01,661 --> 00:17:03,901
I love looking after you.
You know I do.
362
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:05,860
Do anything I can--
Ball and chain!
363
00:17:06,301 --> 00:17:07,501
[indistinct chatter]
364
00:17:07,581 --> 00:17:09,301
But these loans and that, though.
365
00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:12,021
Well, you hear about people
paying them off for years.
366
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:14,180
Yeah, but it's not gonna be
years, is it?
367
00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:16,581
Once Craig comes good.
I mean, that's what I'm saying.
368
00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,380
The day he's sold that house,
the sky's the limit.
369
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:21,821
To the future.
370
00:17:22,461 --> 00:17:24,221
Mud in your eye.
Cum on your face!
371
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:26,981
[indistinct chatter]
372
00:17:38,581 --> 00:17:39,701
Fuck it.
373
00:17:57,261 --> 00:17:58,381
[Carol] Sue?
374
00:17:58,461 --> 00:18:00,101
[Marty] We're going to bed, Mum.
We're shattered.
375
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,741
You've got a visitor.
376
00:18:05,141 --> 00:18:06,501
You're looking well.
377
00:18:06,581 --> 00:18:08,581
-Marty.
-Fuck are you doing here?
378
00:18:09,341 --> 00:18:10,821
We've just been having
a little chat,
379
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:13,461
-haven't we, Craig?
-[Sue] You poisonous, old bitch.
380
00:18:13,541 --> 00:18:15,741
She's stirring it again.
What's she been saying?
381
00:18:15,821 --> 00:18:16,861
I haven't been saying anything.
382
00:18:16,940 --> 00:18:18,741
It's what Craig's been telling me.
383
00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:20,341
I don't wanna hear it, right?
You're upsetting Sue.
384
00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:23,381
-She's had it, Marty!
-This is none of your business!
385
00:18:23,461 --> 00:18:25,301
He's my son, and you're
taking him for a ride.
386
00:18:25,381 --> 00:18:27,700
-[Sue] I'm taking him for nothing.
-Tell him.
387
00:18:28,461 --> 00:18:30,021
She's had the money
from me dad's house.
388
00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:32,621
Ten grand, nearly a month ago.
389
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:34,541
Same old story, is it?
Spunked the lot?
390
00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:37,021
But you said...
391
00:18:37,101 --> 00:18:38,700
The lies never stop, do they, Sue?
392
00:18:41,141 --> 00:18:42,900
-[Sue] Marty!
-[Carol] For God's sake!
393
00:18:42,981 --> 00:18:44,861
-[Marty] Oh, fuck! Fuck!
-[Carol] Marty!
394
00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:45,861
-Fuck!
-You all right, mate?
395
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:47,341
Get the fuck off me,
you lying bastard!
396
00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:49,861
It's all true, Marty.
I've seen the paperwork.
397
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:50,940
[Carol] Pull your trousers off.
398
00:18:51,021 --> 00:18:52,700
They need running under
a cold tap.
399
00:18:52,781 --> 00:18:54,341
Fucking get off me, Mum!
400
00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:56,541
[indistinct chatter on TV]
401
00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:58,261
Sue?
402
00:18:58,741 --> 00:19:00,621
[groans] Sue?
403
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,180
[pants, grunts] Sue?
404
00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:08,700
Sue!
405
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:18,900
Bollocks!
406
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:25,101
Popcorn maker?
Who needs a popcorn maker?
407
00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:28,621
[scoffs] Too bloody idle
to walk to the shops,
408
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:31,261
and she spends God knows
how much on a badminton racket.
409
00:19:31,821 --> 00:19:33,261
She's mentally ill.
410
00:19:33,341 --> 00:19:34,940
Oh! That's handy.
411
00:19:35,021 --> 00:19:37,180
Maybe she and Marty
were gonna be playing doubles.
412
00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:40,141
[Veronica] Yeah. And if they were,
you'd find some way of stopping them.
413
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:43,381
Hey, don't you make me out
to be the villain on this, Veronica.
414
00:19:43,461 --> 00:19:45,461
She's the one who's selling
Marty down the river.
415
00:19:45,541 --> 00:19:47,581
Oh, how's she doing that, Mum?
416
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:49,381
By making him happy?
417
00:19:49,461 --> 00:19:51,301
By stopping him setting fire
to anything for longer
418
00:19:51,381 --> 00:19:52,700
than any of us can remember?
419
00:19:52,781 --> 00:19:54,501
By keeping him
out of fucking Strangeways?
420
00:19:54,581 --> 00:19:56,700
I can't do right
by doing bloody wrong.
421
00:19:56,781 --> 00:19:59,141
I might have known not to expect
any support from you.
422
00:19:59,221 --> 00:20:01,581
Yeah, well, you're right on that one.
And think on, yeah.
423
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:03,821
If Marty does go back inside,
the Gallagher's will be short on rent
424
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:06,501
and looking for new tenants.
And with any luck,
425
00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:09,141
Kev and me will be turning
the spare room into a nursery.
426
00:20:09,940 --> 00:20:12,621
So, don't come crying to us
when you need somewhere to live.
427
00:20:22,381 --> 00:20:24,981
["Jerk It Out" playing]
428
00:20:25,061 --> 00:20:26,541
[sniffs]
429
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:29,141
-[Frank] Six, is it?
-Yeah, this'll be seven.
430
00:20:29,221 --> 00:20:30,660
Brewery needs telling.
431
00:20:30,741 --> 00:20:32,781
Nothing wrong with the ale,
Frank.
432
00:20:32,861 --> 00:20:35,101
Look at Denzig,
he's matched you pint for pint.
433
00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:36,581
It'll be them pills you're taking.
434
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:39,381
Fuck off. What kind of pills
stop you getting pissed?
435
00:20:39,461 --> 00:20:41,621
What would be
the fucking point of that,
436
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:43,420
Jez, eh, in your medical opinion?
437
00:20:43,501 --> 00:20:46,301
I don't know. Treating alcoholics?
438
00:20:46,381 --> 00:20:49,021
If you can't get pissed,
there's no point drinking.
439
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:55,981
How many Es can you give us, Kev?
440
00:21:00,061 --> 00:21:01,301
-Marty?
-[Frank] Kev?
441
00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:04,501
Let me go!
442
00:21:04,981 --> 00:21:06,981
-Let me go!
-Marty, look, you know I can't.
443
00:21:07,061 --> 00:21:08,900
I promised Vee
I'd keep an eye on you.
444
00:21:08,981 --> 00:21:11,420
Let go of me!
I've just gotta find her!
445
00:21:12,381 --> 00:21:16,101
Please, Kev! Please!
I think I'm gonna die!
446
00:21:16,180 --> 00:21:17,900
I just want to fucking torch
the place!
447
00:21:19,541 --> 00:21:20,781
All right, all right.
I'll tell you what.
448
00:21:20,861 --> 00:21:23,061
-I'll come with you, yeah?
-[breathes heavily]
449
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:26,381
Well, her mum lives in Spain.
That's where she'll have gone.
450
00:21:26,461 --> 00:21:27,821
Whoa, Spain?
451
00:21:29,381 --> 00:21:31,621
But I-- I thought--
Sue had told me and Vee
452
00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:33,420
that she hadn't spoken
to her mam in ten years.
453
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:34,940
She's still family, isn't she?
454
00:21:35,021 --> 00:21:37,021
If you don't want to help us--
Fucking bastard!
455
00:21:37,501 --> 00:21:39,261
All right, all right! Oi, all right.
456
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:41,301
-Where do you wanna go?
-To Spain.
457
00:21:43,221 --> 00:21:46,021
-No one wants us to be together.
-[aeroplane approaching]
458
00:21:46,101 --> 00:21:47,541
[Kev] Fucking hell!
459
00:21:49,420 --> 00:21:51,381
Course we do. Course we do.
460
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:53,221
And-- And you will be, won't you?
461
00:21:53,301 --> 00:21:55,180
Don't fucking believe that.
No one does.
462
00:21:55,261 --> 00:21:56,741
See them looking-- Fucking loser!
463
00:21:56,821 --> 00:21:58,900
Hey, hey, I do, as it happens, Marty.
464
00:21:58,981 --> 00:22:01,261
Seriously, you've got something good.
465
00:22:01,341 --> 00:22:02,381
Don't bother what anyone else says.
466
00:22:02,460 --> 00:22:04,261
If you think
Sue's in Puerto de la Rey,
467
00:22:04,341 --> 00:22:06,621
then get in there,
hand over your passport,
468
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,221
and pay whatever it takes
to go and get her,
469
00:22:08,301 --> 00:22:10,900
cos I'm telling you,
you can't put a price on feelings.
470
00:22:13,981 --> 00:22:16,261
-Oi.
-I ain't got a fucking passport,
471
00:22:16,341 --> 00:22:18,101
have I? Fuck!
472
00:22:18,981 --> 00:22:22,101
Fucking fuck of a fucking fucker!
473
00:22:23,621 --> 00:22:24,741
Fucker!
474
00:22:30,221 --> 00:22:32,900
[indistinct chatter]
475
00:22:32,981 --> 00:22:34,420
[knocking on door]
476
00:22:37,741 --> 00:22:39,341
-[Kev] How you doing, Craig?
-All right, Kev?
477
00:22:39,420 --> 00:22:41,981
Er, just come to talk.
478
00:22:43,940 --> 00:22:45,541
You best come in.
479
00:22:48,781 --> 00:22:50,900
[Craig]
You tried her Nan's in Preston?
480
00:22:50,981 --> 00:22:51,821
No.
481
00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:53,381
Well, I wouldn't try ringing.
482
00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:55,660
She's a bit senile,
but you could go round.
483
00:22:56,460 --> 00:22:58,381
Think Sue'd probably go there
before she'd go to her mum's.
484
00:22:59,221 --> 00:23:00,821
She's not spoke to her mum
for years, actually.
485
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:03,861
-Word of advice--
-No, ta-- Spunk face!
486
00:23:03,940 --> 00:23:07,341
[scoffs] Just leave it, Marty.
Let her go wherever she wants.
487
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:08,821
You're well out of it, believe me.
488
00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:11,621
You don't get it, do you?
I love her. She loves me.
489
00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:14,501
Sue loves Sue.
And owt with a bar-code.
490
00:23:14,581 --> 00:23:16,381
I mean, yes, she'll give you
the best blowjob
491
00:23:16,460 --> 00:23:17,660
you've ever had in your life,
492
00:23:17,741 --> 00:23:19,621
but at the end of the day,
if you opened her up,
493
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:21,501
you'd find a cash register
where her heart should be.
494
00:23:22,180 --> 00:23:23,621
Believe me, her leaving you
495
00:23:23,700 --> 00:23:25,261
is the best thing
that's ever happened to you.
496
00:23:25,341 --> 00:23:27,900
My life started the day
she walked out of that door.
497
00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:31,420
Come on, mate. Let's go to Preston.
498
00:23:31,501 --> 00:23:32,940
Have you got the address?
499
00:23:37,501 --> 00:23:38,741
[Marty] He's a cunt.
500
00:23:46,741 --> 00:23:48,341
Thanks. I owe you one.
501
00:23:48,420 --> 00:23:49,981
Well, that's me
and every catalogue company
502
00:23:50,061 --> 00:23:51,821
-in the country, then.
-Narky bugger.
503
00:23:52,581 --> 00:23:53,940
-What did you tell him?
-[Craig scoffs]
504
00:23:54,021 --> 00:23:55,460
Marty's gutted, you know?
505
00:23:55,541 --> 00:23:57,381
You broke his heart,
the poor, little bastard.
506
00:23:57,460 --> 00:23:58,621
Well, I'm not going back.
507
00:23:59,141 --> 00:24:00,621
Won't give Carol the satisfaction.
508
00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:02,781
Well, then you better get on the phone
and sort something out, yeah?
509
00:24:02,861 --> 00:24:04,301
One night, I said.
510
00:24:04,381 --> 00:24:06,180
If your nanna's that far gone,
she won't even notice you
511
00:24:06,261 --> 00:24:07,741
staying with her for a bit.
512
00:24:10,261 --> 00:24:11,301
They're pink.
513
00:24:12,541 --> 00:24:13,741
All of 'em.
514
00:24:18,541 --> 00:24:19,501
Live and learn.
515
00:24:21,180 --> 00:24:22,460
[Carl] Can't wear pink to school.
516
00:24:22,541 --> 00:24:24,700
There you are. Wait there a sec.
517
00:24:25,981 --> 00:24:29,061
You know that old hippie-looking woman
who lives at number 27?
518
00:24:30,061 --> 00:24:32,341
You know, the one
whose house really stinks?
519
00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:34,341
-[kittens mewing]
-RSPCA finally raided her.
520
00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:36,741
And they're giving them away.
521
00:24:39,261 --> 00:24:41,741
-What am I, six?
-Debs, wait.
522
00:24:41,821 --> 00:24:44,381
Look, I know we haven't been
pulling our weight and that,
523
00:24:44,460 --> 00:24:45,741
but things are gonna change.
524
00:24:45,821 --> 00:24:47,460
Lip's made a rota
of what everyone's
525
00:24:47,541 --> 00:24:48,460
supposed to be doing.
526
00:24:48,660 --> 00:24:50,700
Look, Mondays, Carl, breakfast.
527
00:24:50,821 --> 00:24:53,781
Me, tidy up.
You, take Liam to school.
528
00:24:53,861 --> 00:24:55,541
All different colors, see?
529
00:24:55,621 --> 00:24:56,900
Give me a break.
530
00:24:56,981 --> 00:24:59,061
How many rotas
have I made for you lot?
531
00:24:59,141 --> 00:25:00,221
And they never work,
532
00:25:00,301 --> 00:25:01,821
cos I'm the only one
that sticks to them,
533
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,141
and I end up doing
everyone else's jobs.
534
00:25:04,781 --> 00:25:06,660
So don't piss on my leg
and tell me it's raining.
535
00:25:10,021 --> 00:25:11,061
[door closes]
536
00:25:11,141 --> 00:25:12,981
-What does that mean?
-[kittens mewing]
537
00:25:20,061 --> 00:25:21,141
Oh, God. He's over there.
538
00:25:23,220 --> 00:25:25,900
-Is he looking?
-Yeah, he's looking. Don't look.
539
00:25:27,180 --> 00:25:29,021
-[car horn honks]
-Here, do you wanna sit
540
00:25:29,101 --> 00:25:30,940
on me face, sweetheart,
or can I just cum on your tits?
541
00:25:31,021 --> 00:25:33,301
-[men laughing]
-You fucking perv!
542
00:25:33,381 --> 00:25:34,940
Come near us again,
543
00:25:35,021 --> 00:25:37,061
and my dad will kick
the fucking shit out of you!
544
00:25:37,141 --> 00:25:38,180
[chuckling]
545
00:25:38,261 --> 00:25:40,180
-You paedophile bastard.
-[laughs] Oh, right.
546
00:25:43,141 --> 00:25:45,180
[chuckles] Total pede.
547
00:25:47,781 --> 00:25:49,261
So, is he looking now?
548
00:25:50,341 --> 00:25:51,381
Debbie?
549
00:25:54,381 --> 00:25:56,141
-Yeah.
-[siren wailing]
550
00:25:58,101 --> 00:26:01,061
Whoa, Frankie boy,
how's it shaking?
551
00:26:01,141 --> 00:26:02,101
[Frank] Well, it's not, is it?
552
00:26:02,180 --> 00:26:04,581
Sixty quid on booze and Es
and look at me.
553
00:26:04,660 --> 00:26:05,940
Sober as a fucking judge.
554
00:26:06,021 --> 00:26:07,381
Nice one.
555
00:26:08,180 --> 00:26:09,341
[sighs]
556
00:26:09,821 --> 00:26:12,381
Never knew the true meaning
of that phrase till today.
557
00:26:13,660 --> 00:26:17,541
Sober as a fucking judge.
558
00:26:19,821 --> 00:26:21,821
Jez, I know, long story. Long s...
559
00:26:23,341 --> 00:26:25,501
Listen, there's plenty
more places in the world
560
00:26:25,581 --> 00:26:26,541
than fucking Preston.
561
00:26:26,621 --> 00:26:28,501
She'll probably get in touch
when the dust settles.
562
00:26:28,581 --> 00:26:29,940
Why would she? Loser!
563
00:26:30,021 --> 00:26:31,420
Oh, come on, Marty.
She's not that bad.
564
00:26:31,501 --> 00:26:33,700
She's probably just got a bit freaked
with facing the music and that.
565
00:26:33,781 --> 00:26:36,341
Think I'd fuck off for a bit
if I owed that much money.
566
00:26:36,420 --> 00:26:38,700
My mum reckons she left
just cos she was using me
567
00:26:38,781 --> 00:26:39,741
and she finally bled me dry.
568
00:26:39,821 --> 00:26:41,900
I know.
Just give us two minutes, Jez.
569
00:26:41,981 --> 00:26:43,341
Look, no disrespect to Carol,
570
00:26:43,420 --> 00:26:45,061
but that twisted old cow
wouldn't know true love
571
00:26:45,141 --> 00:26:46,621
if it jumped up
and bit her on the minge.
572
00:26:48,101 --> 00:26:49,420
What? You really think
she loves me, Kev?
573
00:26:49,501 --> 00:26:51,621
Well, she must do. Why else she been
shagging you for the past year?
574
00:26:51,700 --> 00:26:53,180
For your smooth talk and good looks?
575
00:26:54,821 --> 00:26:56,821
Yeah, if I pay it all off for her,
she'd come back then,
576
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:58,821
wouldn't she? I'm gonna do it.
577
00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:00,501
I-- I'll get another job.
I know I can.
578
00:27:00,581 --> 00:27:03,180
-[men laughing]
-[indistinct chatter]
579
00:27:03,821 --> 00:27:04,981
Tommy.
580
00:27:06,021 --> 00:27:08,700
[alarm beeps]
581
00:27:11,741 --> 00:27:14,981
I got a lasagna in for tonight.
I know you like it.
582
00:27:15,061 --> 00:27:16,581
I'm working.
583
00:27:17,301 --> 00:27:18,861
I could do chips with it and all.
584
00:27:18,940 --> 00:27:21,741
-Not hungry. Selfish cunt!
-I like lasagna.
585
00:27:21,821 --> 00:27:23,381
Sweet Jesus, give me strength.
586
00:27:23,861 --> 00:27:26,460
I said lasagna, not loaves
and bloody fishes.
587
00:27:27,261 --> 00:27:29,420
There you are.
588
00:27:31,021 --> 00:27:32,341
Hmm.
589
00:27:32,420 --> 00:27:34,981
You know, if you started
wearing a toupee now,
590
00:27:35,061 --> 00:27:36,541
nobody'd know later on.
591
00:27:37,301 --> 00:27:39,660
That was your dad's mistake,
leaving it too late.
592
00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,061
[doorbell rings]
593
00:27:45,861 --> 00:27:47,541
Sorry to hear about your partner,
Mr. Fisher.
594
00:27:47,621 --> 00:27:48,741
Why? What have you heard?
595
00:27:49,541 --> 00:27:51,460
Oh, no, it's nothing like that.
My apologies.
596
00:27:51,541 --> 00:27:54,341
It's just that I rang yesterday
to speak to yourself
597
00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:56,501
about your first payment.
I spoke to a lady.
598
00:27:56,581 --> 00:27:58,621
-I presume that was you.
-That's right.
599
00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:01,900
Er, she told me that your wife
had done a bit of a runner.
600
00:28:01,981 --> 00:28:03,981
They're not married, thank God.
601
00:28:04,621 --> 00:28:05,501
[Jason] Oh, right.
602
00:28:05,581 --> 00:28:08,381
Well, seeing as
you're co-signature to the loan,
603
00:28:08,460 --> 00:28:09,501
-I thought--
-[Carol] What loan?
604
00:28:09,581 --> 00:28:11,581
-What's she made you sign?
-[Marty] Nothing.
605
00:28:11,660 --> 00:28:14,220
It's my business, Mum.
Down the shit-hole!
606
00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:17,381
So, you mean that--
That I've got to pay the lot?
607
00:28:17,460 --> 00:28:20,660
[scoffs]
What did I say all along the line?
608
00:28:20,741 --> 00:28:23,621
She's played you for a giddy kipper,
Martin Fisher.
609
00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:26,741
How in heaven's name
are you gonna pay off £12,000?
610
00:28:26,821 --> 00:28:29,420
It's time you woke up to yourself.
-Fucking shut it, will ya?
611
00:28:30,781 --> 00:28:32,741
All my life, you rabbiting on:
612
00:28:32,821 --> 00:28:34,940
"I told you so, Marty."
"He's not your friend, Marty.
613
00:28:35,021 --> 00:28:36,861
"Wear a fucking toupee, Marty!"
614
00:28:36,940 --> 00:28:39,381
-I have had enough, right?
-Hey!
615
00:28:41,581 --> 00:28:43,180
Chill out. All right?
616
00:28:43,261 --> 00:28:45,301
-All right?
-I'm chilled. I'm chilled.
617
00:28:45,381 --> 00:28:47,301
I'm cool. I'm chilled. [pants]
618
00:28:48,541 --> 00:28:49,980
Psycho bastard! Sorry.
619
00:28:50,061 --> 00:28:52,581
You've only got one mum.
Remember that.
620
00:29:08,980 --> 00:29:09,980
[muffled] Fucker!
621
00:29:17,101 --> 00:29:18,301
Fucker!
622
00:29:19,101 --> 00:29:21,220
[indistinct chatter]
623
00:29:27,381 --> 00:29:29,180
-Cock!
-[indistinct chatter]
624
00:29:36,781 --> 00:29:37,900
Fuck!
625
00:29:39,581 --> 00:29:40,501
Fuck!
626
00:29:41,261 --> 00:29:42,460
Shit!
627
00:29:47,141 --> 00:29:48,101
Fuck!
628
00:30:05,861 --> 00:30:06,861
Cunt!
629
00:30:11,501 --> 00:30:13,180
[glass breaking]
630
00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:19,220
How long have you been up?
631
00:30:19,301 --> 00:30:20,660
This was your dad's, weren't it?
632
00:30:21,301 --> 00:30:22,501
Seat's totally gone.
633
00:30:23,261 --> 00:30:25,501
New suite would change
the look of this room like that.
634
00:30:25,581 --> 00:30:28,220
Hang on, hang on. When did we enter
the fucking twilight zone?
635
00:30:28,861 --> 00:30:30,460
One night, I said,
until you sort something out,
636
00:30:30,541 --> 00:30:32,061
and you've already been here two.
637
00:30:32,141 --> 00:30:34,420
-Don't push it.
-Yeah, but I can't stay at Nanna's.
638
00:30:34,501 --> 00:30:37,581
-It's not my problem.
-Craig, I've got nowhere to go.
639
00:30:41,021 --> 00:30:42,220
I haven't forgotten
the way you like it.
640
00:30:42,301 --> 00:30:43,700
Well, then you've got
a bloody good memory.
641
00:30:43,781 --> 00:30:44,940
What the fuck
are you playing at?
642
00:30:45,021 --> 00:30:47,821
-I'm not playing. [groans]
-Christ's sake, Sue!
643
00:30:47,900 --> 00:30:49,900
Three years we didn't shag
while we shared this house,
644
00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:52,381
and now, all of a sudden,
you've decided you fancy me again?
645
00:30:52,460 --> 00:30:54,420
[scoffs] I know you've got
no self-respect,
646
00:30:54,501 --> 00:30:55,660
but this is really low.
647
00:30:57,220 --> 00:30:58,501
[sighs]
648
00:31:00,341 --> 00:31:01,381
I could do, though, you know?
649
00:31:02,180 --> 00:31:03,541
Haven't got laid in a while.
650
00:31:03,621 --> 00:31:05,341
But I'd still kick you out afterwards.
651
00:31:05,980 --> 00:31:07,220
Oh, come on. How about it?
652
00:31:07,301 --> 00:31:08,821
Something for nothing for a change.
653
00:31:08,900 --> 00:31:10,420
-You bastard.
-Didn't think so.
654
00:31:10,501 --> 00:31:11,781
Marty makes me come like a train.
655
00:31:11,861 --> 00:31:13,420
Oh, really? Well, they say
everybody's got to be good
656
00:31:13,501 --> 00:31:14,861
at something, don't they?
He's a disaster
657
00:31:14,940 --> 00:31:16,301
-in every other way--
-Fuck you, Craig!
658
00:31:16,781 --> 00:31:19,021
For your information, Marty--
[scoffs]
659
00:31:19,660 --> 00:31:22,381
You don't know the first thing
about Marty, OK?
660
00:31:22,460 --> 00:31:24,381
So, you just sit
on your dad's settee
661
00:31:24,460 --> 00:31:26,301
and judge the world
if it makes you feel better.
662
00:31:26,381 --> 00:31:28,141
The hours must fly by.
663
00:31:31,021 --> 00:31:33,021
[Kev and Veronica moaning]
664
00:31:35,301 --> 00:31:36,541
Oh, I forgot, Erm...
665
00:31:37,021 --> 00:31:38,460
the reference numbers
have come for...
666
00:31:39,381 --> 00:31:40,541
for the flight and hotel and that.
667
00:31:41,341 --> 00:31:44,420
You don't get tickets anymore.
You just turn up at airport.
668
00:31:45,341 --> 00:31:47,381
Oh, and Yvonne was saying,
669
00:31:47,460 --> 00:31:48,821
we're best taking our own tea bags...
670
00:31:49,541 --> 00:31:52,220
cos tea's really shit over there. [moans]
671
00:31:55,700 --> 00:31:56,660
What's up?
672
00:31:57,301 --> 00:31:58,460
Nothing.
673
00:31:58,541 --> 00:32:00,900
-You've gone...
-It's hardly erotic, is it?
674
00:32:00,980 --> 00:32:02,700
Talking about tea bags
when I'm trying to give you one?
675
00:32:02,781 --> 00:32:05,501
-Do you want me...
-No, you're all right.
676
00:32:05,581 --> 00:32:08,420
It's like trying to put a slug
in a slot machine, to be honest.
677
00:32:10,460 --> 00:32:11,740
[Kev sighs]
678
00:32:11,821 --> 00:32:14,180
-What's going on, Kev?
-Nothing. I'm just knackered.
679
00:32:14,261 --> 00:32:16,541
Double shift
and babysitting Marty all night.
680
00:32:16,621 --> 00:32:17,700
Don't give me that.
681
00:32:17,781 --> 00:32:18,900
It were the same the other morning.
682
00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:20,660
-[Kev urinating]
-It's not guilt, is it?
683
00:32:21,220 --> 00:32:22,821
You're not slipping it someone else?
684
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:24,821
No! It's nothing like that.
685
00:32:25,460 --> 00:32:26,900
Well, what?
686
00:32:27,781 --> 00:32:29,180
[exhales deeply]
687
00:32:31,101 --> 00:32:32,061
Flying, OK?
688
00:32:33,460 --> 00:32:34,940
I've got a fear of flying.
689
00:32:35,021 --> 00:32:37,341
And every time I think about it
or you talk about it,
690
00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:39,141
I get fucking limp.
691
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:42,740
-[chuckles]
-It's a phobia, Veronica.
692
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:46,460
Fuck off, you jessie.
693
00:32:46,541 --> 00:32:48,420
Fear of flying. [laughs]
694
00:32:53,861 --> 00:32:55,700
[toilet flushing]
695
00:32:57,940 --> 00:33:00,420
There isn't an antidote, Mr. Gallagher.
696
00:33:01,420 --> 00:33:02,581
Are you shitting me?
697
00:33:03,581 --> 00:33:04,900
Well, the drug isn't toxic...
698
00:33:05,460 --> 00:33:08,061
though clearly you have had
some sort of extreme reaction.
699
00:33:09,220 --> 00:33:11,220
I'm afraid you'll just have to wait
for it to clear your system.
700
00:33:15,341 --> 00:33:17,940
How would you describe
your reaction?
701
00:33:20,581 --> 00:33:21,660
It's like...
702
00:33:22,581 --> 00:33:23,621
everything's...
703
00:33:26,180 --> 00:33:27,341
you know...
704
00:33:28,341 --> 00:33:29,261
real.
705
00:33:52,501 --> 00:33:53,501
Have a word, Marty?
706
00:33:54,381 --> 00:33:56,940
-What's going on?
-Sue. Fucking bitch!
707
00:33:57,501 --> 00:33:59,420
We need him to come down station
to answer a few questions.
708
00:33:59,501 --> 00:34:01,821
What you on about?
What's he supposed to have done?
709
00:34:01,900 --> 00:34:03,301
There's been an arson attack
on the precinct
710
00:34:03,381 --> 00:34:05,501
-down Adelaide Way.
-Adelaide Way?
711
00:34:05,581 --> 00:34:07,021
[Tony] Yeah, one of the shops
got burnt out.
712
00:34:07,101 --> 00:34:08,700
All the hallmarks, I'm afraid.
713
00:34:10,061 --> 00:34:11,300
Well, go on. Tell them.
714
00:34:11,381 --> 00:34:13,300
-Tell us what?
-What?
715
00:34:13,381 --> 00:34:15,300
He's been in Preston with me
since yesterday.
716
00:34:15,381 --> 00:34:16,860
Only came back
for a change of clothes.
717
00:34:17,501 --> 00:34:19,461
It's me nanna. Suspected stroke.
718
00:34:20,061 --> 00:34:21,941
When's it supposed
to have happened, the fire?
719
00:34:22,021 --> 00:34:23,501
-Sometime yesterday evening.
-[Sue sighs]
720
00:34:23,581 --> 00:34:25,700
Well, I don't see how.
We took it in turn
721
00:34:25,780 --> 00:34:27,421
to hold Nanna's hand
all through the night.
722
00:34:28,021 --> 00:34:30,061
Not that she knew we were there,
bless her.
723
00:34:30,141 --> 00:34:31,621
But it brought her a bit of comfort.
724
00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:33,660
I can give you the number
of the hospital
725
00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:35,421
if you want to check.
It's St. Catherine's.
726
00:34:35,501 --> 00:34:37,141
-No, you're all right, love.
-Sorry, Marty.
727
00:34:37,220 --> 00:34:38,501
Fucking pigs!
728
00:34:39,220 --> 00:34:40,541
[indistinct chatter
over police radio]
729
00:34:41,021 --> 00:34:43,581
I said to Tony straight off:
"Why the fuck would Marty
730
00:34:43,660 --> 00:34:45,260
wanna burn down
a Poverty Action shop
731
00:34:45,340 --> 00:34:46,340
in the first place?
732
00:34:55,061 --> 00:34:56,220
Fuck it!
733
00:35:02,021 --> 00:35:02,981
Hmm.
734
00:35:07,021 --> 00:35:10,421
Hey, brand new that.
We're not made of money.
735
00:35:12,621 --> 00:35:14,021
I really appreciate it, you know...
736
00:35:15,061 --> 00:35:17,340
you trying to torch
the debt place for me.
737
00:35:17,421 --> 00:35:19,780
I didn't do it for you, did I?
I did it for me.
738
00:35:20,381 --> 00:35:22,181
Seeing you'd run out
and left me in the shit.
739
00:35:22,820 --> 00:35:24,901
But I'm back now, aren't I? Eh?
740
00:35:25,501 --> 00:35:27,741
I just needed a bit of time
to sort me head out.
741
00:35:29,181 --> 00:35:30,021
Don't!
742
00:35:30,661 --> 00:35:31,621
Marty.
743
00:35:32,701 --> 00:35:33,901
Can't we start again?
744
00:35:35,221 --> 00:35:36,101
Clean slate.
745
00:35:36,780 --> 00:35:38,501
I know we've still got debt, but...
746
00:35:40,141 --> 00:35:41,901
I just want to put things right.
747
00:35:41,981 --> 00:35:43,581
What point is there?
748
00:35:44,181 --> 00:35:46,461
You've gone too far. All the lying.
749
00:35:48,941 --> 00:35:50,300
We're finished, you and me.
750
00:35:57,181 --> 00:35:58,300
Massive hard-on!
751
00:36:05,101 --> 00:36:07,101
Right. Yard sale.
752
00:36:07,181 --> 00:36:09,261
We'll shift all this lot in no time.
753
00:36:09,340 --> 00:36:11,581
-Debbie, you're with me.
-Sorry, I'm off out.
754
00:36:12,340 --> 00:36:14,021
OK. Everyone else then.
755
00:36:14,101 --> 00:36:16,141
Start tagging it up.
Price it as high as you can.
756
00:36:16,221 --> 00:36:18,501
People just think it's shit if you try
to shift it for nothing.
757
00:36:18,581 --> 00:36:20,181
Oh, come on, get a move on!
758
00:36:21,541 --> 00:36:23,581
Right. I'll do it all meself then.
759
00:36:23,661 --> 00:36:24,820
-Marty.
-[cat mews]
760
00:36:25,300 --> 00:36:27,021
Where did that come from?
761
00:36:27,101 --> 00:36:28,061
Yard sale?
762
00:36:28,141 --> 00:36:30,181
After all she's landed on you,
763
00:36:30,261 --> 00:36:32,780
you think selling a few bits
and bobs will sort it?
764
00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:35,141
You're even softer in the head
than I thought.
765
00:36:35,221 --> 00:36:36,581
It's hard to believe,
seeing you treat me
766
00:36:36,661 --> 00:36:38,581
like the world's biggest
fucking retard. F...
767
00:36:39,141 --> 00:36:42,141
If you're having her back, Marty,
I wash my hands of you.
768
00:36:42,221 --> 00:36:44,221
-I really do.
-Well, I am having her back, Mum,
769
00:36:44,300 --> 00:36:45,741
and if you've got anything else
to say about it,
770
00:36:45,820 --> 00:36:47,941
you can say it
outside this house, right?
771
00:36:48,021 --> 00:36:50,101
In fact, you can pack your bags, OK?
772
00:36:50,181 --> 00:36:52,300
Fuck off and die!
We don't want you here.
773
00:36:56,541 --> 00:36:57,501
Hello, cheeky chaps.
774
00:36:58,021 --> 00:37:00,061
Hello. Nigel.
775
00:37:00,141 --> 00:37:02,101
There's more in the pot
if you want it.
776
00:37:02,181 --> 00:37:04,221
-You have been busy.
-[babies cooing]
777
00:37:05,741 --> 00:37:09,141
Hey. Now we've got a minute,
we can go through that stuff
778
00:37:09,221 --> 00:37:10,981
my sister sent me
for the wedding.
779
00:37:11,061 --> 00:37:14,261
You know, flowers.
Oh, what am I on about?
780
00:37:14,340 --> 00:37:15,501
These are
the wedding invitations.
781
00:37:15,581 --> 00:37:17,981
Replied, coming.
782
00:37:18,061 --> 00:37:20,820
Replied, not coming.
783
00:37:20,901 --> 00:37:24,181
Oh, abusive. We don't have
to go through these yet.
784
00:37:24,261 --> 00:37:26,501
Wouldn't it be terrible
if we forgot someone?
785
00:37:29,261 --> 00:37:30,221
Sheila...
786
00:37:31,780 --> 00:37:33,300
you're a very damaged woman.
787
00:37:34,021 --> 00:37:36,101
You live in a fantasy world
half the time.
788
00:37:36,181 --> 00:37:37,581
You have to take
a lorry-load of tablets
789
00:37:37,661 --> 00:37:38,941
just to get downstairs
in the morning.
790
00:37:39,021 --> 00:37:41,941
Why on earth are you adding
to your troubles by marrying me?
791
00:37:42,860 --> 00:37:43,741
Eh?
792
00:37:44,501 --> 00:37:45,741
Mr Right.
793
00:37:46,780 --> 00:37:49,300
I mean, if I'm the answer,
what's the fucking question, eh?
794
00:37:52,901 --> 00:37:54,741
I'm a waster, Sheila.
795
00:37:54,820 --> 00:37:57,021
Always have been, always will be.
796
00:37:58,101 --> 00:37:59,621
And you can chuck
as many vol-au-vents
797
00:37:59,701 --> 00:38:00,661
as you'd like at it, love,
798
00:38:00,741 --> 00:38:02,780
but it's not exactly
made in fucking heaven, is it?
799
00:38:05,221 --> 00:38:06,741
[voice breaking]
I never said vol-au-vents.
800
00:38:07,661 --> 00:38:09,981
I never ordered vol-au-vents.
801
00:38:15,421 --> 00:38:17,300
-Why here?
-Oh, fuck off.
802
00:38:17,380 --> 00:38:20,501
Change of scenery,
spice things up a bit.
803
00:38:20,581 --> 00:38:22,380
[both moan]
804
00:38:24,061 --> 00:38:25,380
[airplane approaching]
805
00:38:25,981 --> 00:38:28,181
-No.
-You're all right.
806
00:38:28,941 --> 00:38:31,661
-[aeroplane whooshes]
-[screams]
807
00:38:34,141 --> 00:38:35,741
Get off! Fuck!
808
00:38:35,820 --> 00:38:38,541
Fucking hell, Veronica!
What are you playing at?
809
00:38:38,621 --> 00:38:41,141
-Where you going?
-[pants, groans]
810
00:38:41,741 --> 00:38:43,261
It's what they do with phobias,
isn't it?
811
00:38:43,340 --> 00:38:45,181
Do you remember that program?
Like putting spiders on your arm
812
00:38:45,261 --> 00:38:46,461
when you're frightened
of spiders.
813
00:38:46,541 --> 00:38:49,061
I'm not frightened of spiders!
I'm frightened of them up there!
814
00:38:49,141 --> 00:38:50,741
-Yeah, I know, but it--
-No, no, no! But--
815
00:38:50,820 --> 00:38:54,541
No, but it's not natural!
They fucking crash!
816
00:38:57,941 --> 00:38:59,340
They fucking crash.
817
00:38:59,421 --> 00:39:02,300
We'll lose our £100 deposit!
818
00:39:04,380 --> 00:39:05,541
[groans]
819
00:39:05,621 --> 00:39:08,461
I suppose you could ask your cousin,
Dave, about his caravan.
820
00:39:10,661 --> 00:39:12,981
["Hard to Beat" playing]
821
00:39:18,261 --> 00:39:19,621
Can I get you a drink, Frank?
822
00:39:20,701 --> 00:39:22,141
Oh, that's very kind, Carol.
823
00:39:22,741 --> 00:39:23,901
I'll have an orange juice.
824
00:39:24,741 --> 00:39:26,021
Hm.
825
00:39:35,541 --> 00:39:37,101
-No, no, no, no.
-Ah.
826
00:39:38,701 --> 00:39:41,061
[sighs] Oh, well.
827
00:39:44,300 --> 00:39:45,501
Hey.
828
00:39:45,981 --> 00:39:47,701
It's like shagging with a johnny on.
829
00:39:49,021 --> 00:39:50,901
Course, it suits
the pharmaceutical industries
830
00:39:50,981 --> 00:39:53,820
to develop tools
to control the masses,
831
00:39:53,901 --> 00:39:55,221
to deny them pleasure.
832
00:39:56,221 --> 00:39:57,741
God, they'd put it in the water
if they could.
833
00:39:58,461 --> 00:40:00,780
[coughs] Then once they've
sterilized the lot of us...
834
00:40:00,860 --> 00:40:02,261
-[knocks on bar]
-Fuckin'... Eh?
835
00:40:03,780 --> 00:40:05,901
Not that I'd say no at this point.
836
00:40:06,820 --> 00:40:09,501
I always thought you talked shite
cos you were pissed.
837
00:40:10,380 --> 00:40:11,340
[Carol chuckles]
838
00:40:13,181 --> 00:40:14,541
No Sheila tonight, Frank?
839
00:40:15,981 --> 00:40:16,820
Nah.
840
00:40:17,501 --> 00:40:19,501
I've blown it, haven't I,
with Sheila?
841
00:40:20,981 --> 00:40:24,141
Said things
that were better left unsaid.
842
00:40:25,021 --> 00:40:26,661
Well, you better make it right again.
843
00:40:27,501 --> 00:40:29,581
Bed, board, and someone
to keep you company,
844
00:40:29,661 --> 00:40:31,701
-you shouldn't knock it.
-I've never knocked it, have I?
845
00:40:31,780 --> 00:40:34,541
I've just had enough
of all this wedding shite.
846
00:40:35,340 --> 00:40:37,221
Well, you're not getting
any younger, Frank.
847
00:40:37,901 --> 00:40:40,061
None of us are. Mark my words.
848
00:40:40,141 --> 00:40:43,461
It's no joke being on your own
at my age.
849
00:40:46,901 --> 00:40:47,741
No.
850
00:40:53,741 --> 00:40:56,380
Cos they stick you in a home
in front of the telly
851
00:40:56,461 --> 00:40:58,380
with a pair of incontinence pants on.
852
00:41:00,820 --> 00:41:03,101
Never see them
from one Christmas to the next.
853
00:41:04,261 --> 00:41:05,901
A slice of turkey roll once a year,
854
00:41:05,981 --> 00:41:07,661
that's the only thing
you've got to look forward to.
855
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:11,101
And they have to cut it up for you
856
00:41:11,181 --> 00:41:13,981
cos they won't let you have
your teeth in case you choke.
857
00:41:17,501 --> 00:41:18,581
Smell of piss.
858
00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:25,541
Bloke in the chair opposite,
sat there trembling.
859
00:41:28,701 --> 00:41:30,421
Home and Away on full volume.
860
00:41:45,541 --> 00:41:48,461
Thanks, Carol, love.
I will have a word.
861
00:42:07,300 --> 00:42:08,380
[Carol] Where's the settee?
862
00:42:09,221 --> 00:42:10,820
[Sue] Someone gave us 100 quid for it.
863
00:42:11,461 --> 00:42:13,661
Still only made shy of 700 quid.
864
00:42:13,741 --> 00:42:17,461
-A drop in the ocean, really.
-Oh, you do surprise me.
865
00:42:19,981 --> 00:42:22,181
I've got a proposition
to put to you, as it happens.
866
00:42:23,380 --> 00:42:25,380
I've been on to the Citizens Advice.
867
00:42:25,461 --> 00:42:29,741
There's something called
an individual voluntary arrangement.
868
00:42:29,820 --> 00:42:31,101
They take care of your creditors,
869
00:42:31,181 --> 00:42:33,181
and you pay them back
as much as you can.
870
00:42:33,261 --> 00:42:35,421
Yeah, we've already been
down that road, ta.
871
00:42:35,501 --> 00:42:39,261
You've got cancellation rights.
It's in the papers you signed.
872
00:42:39,340 --> 00:42:41,860
Twenty-eight days
to change your mind.
873
00:42:42,501 --> 00:42:45,181
-So, we're back to square one.
-Marty is.
874
00:42:46,461 --> 00:42:48,181
You're still £12,000 in the red.
875
00:42:48,621 --> 00:42:49,901
This individual thingamy,
876
00:42:49,981 --> 00:42:51,701
it's all kosher,
reasonable interest,
877
00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:53,061
but you need security...
878
00:42:53,941 --> 00:42:55,780
and I'm offering to stand it for you.
879
00:42:55,860 --> 00:42:58,541
-You? What with?
-My house.
880
00:42:58,621 --> 00:43:00,261
The one Marty burned down.
881
00:43:00,340 --> 00:43:02,780
Well, they built it again,
finished in April.
882
00:43:02,860 --> 00:43:04,141
Got a good set of tenants in it.
883
00:43:05,021 --> 00:43:07,501
Why? You hate my guts.
884
00:43:08,101 --> 00:43:12,581
You'll stay with Marty five years,
and I'll have a place to live.
885
00:43:12,661 --> 00:43:14,541
Yeah, but, Carol, you just said
you've got a house.
886
00:43:15,101 --> 00:43:16,300
No.
887
00:43:17,820 --> 00:43:19,461
It's lonely on your own.
888
00:43:21,021 --> 00:43:22,780
Five years, I'll stay with you.
889
00:43:22,860 --> 00:43:25,021
You stay with Marty.
Marty stays out of trouble.
890
00:43:26,860 --> 00:43:28,340
And then I get a credit rating again.
891
00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:30,501
Like nothing's happened.
892
00:43:31,141 --> 00:43:33,701
But you can't have a credit card
while you're paying it off.
893
00:43:34,340 --> 00:43:35,900
But Marty could, right?
894
00:43:51,741 --> 00:43:52,621
Can I finger you?
895
00:43:58,261 --> 00:44:00,021
-[Nicola] What's up with him?
-I don't fancy him.
896
00:44:00,661 --> 00:44:02,860
-So?
-So I don't fancy him.
897
00:44:03,300 --> 00:44:06,501
You don't fancy anyone.
You're right weird, you.
898
00:44:19,701 --> 00:44:20,661
[hiccups]
899
00:44:21,340 --> 00:44:22,421
[burps]
900
00:44:24,221 --> 00:44:26,501
[cheers, applause]
901
00:44:26,581 --> 00:44:28,581
["Hallelujah Chorus" plays]
902
00:44:29,141 --> 00:44:32,221
♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪
903
00:44:32,300 --> 00:44:36,101
♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪
904
00:44:36,181 --> 00:44:40,860
♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪
905
00:44:40,941 --> 00:44:43,261
♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪
906
00:44:43,780 --> 00:44:45,860
♪ Hallelujah ♪
907
00:44:45,941 --> 00:44:52,021
♪ For the Lord God
Omnipotent reigneth ♪
908
00:44:53,621 --> 00:44:57,581
♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪
909
00:45:24,300 --> 00:45:26,581
Hallelujah!
910
00:45:26,661 --> 00:45:29,221
[laughs]
911
00:45:29,300 --> 00:45:33,541
Frank Gallagher is back in the room!
912
00:45:33,621 --> 00:45:35,461
[chuckles, sighs]
913
00:45:36,461 --> 00:45:38,860
Sheila, my love...
914
00:45:39,820 --> 00:45:42,820
-my bride-to-be.
-[sighs]
915
00:45:43,780 --> 00:45:45,181
-Frank.
-[laughs]
916
00:45:45,261 --> 00:45:51,501
♪ Hallelujah ♪
917
00:45:52,141 --> 00:45:53,221
[Sheila chuckling]
918
00:46:01,181 --> 00:46:03,300
-Pasta bake all right?
-Great.
919
00:46:03,780 --> 00:46:05,701
My turn on the rota.
920
00:46:06,421 --> 00:46:07,380
-Cheers.
-[Sue] Marty,
921
00:46:07,461 --> 00:46:08,780
make room for your mum,
will you?
922
00:46:09,501 --> 00:46:12,581
-[Liam] Excuse me, Sue.
-[Debbie] Watch out. It's a bit hot.
923
00:46:12,661 --> 00:46:14,461
-[Lip] That looks delicious.
-Where are the kittens?
924
00:46:14,541 --> 00:46:16,541
Oh, I flogged them
with the rest of me stuff.
925
00:46:17,221 --> 00:46:18,581
Got a fiver for each of them.
926
00:46:19,981 --> 00:46:22,380
Oh, this looks lovely. Carol?
927
00:46:22,461 --> 00:46:23,421
Oh.
928
00:46:23,501 --> 00:46:25,860
-[Sue] Here you go, Marty.
-[indistinct chatter]
929
00:46:27,581 --> 00:46:29,421
[Debbie] They say:
"You can choose your friends,
930
00:46:29,501 --> 00:46:31,101
but you can't choose your family."
931
00:46:31,181 --> 00:46:33,941
Which is a total no-brainer,
obviously.
932
00:46:34,021 --> 00:46:36,461
But if you could choose
your family,
933
00:46:36,541 --> 00:46:38,221
I reckon you wouldn't choose
anyone different.
934
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:42,461
Cos if you did
and everything was all perfect,
935
00:46:42,541 --> 00:46:44,101
who could you blame
when things went wrong?
936
00:46:45,021 --> 00:46:47,741
Just yourself,
and that's got to be crap.
937
00:46:47,820 --> 00:46:48,741
[Marty] Bucket of spunk!
938
00:46:50,061 --> 00:46:52,461
[Sheila] I was married... before.
939
00:46:52,541 --> 00:46:54,741
He's buried in the garden.
940
00:46:54,820 --> 00:46:57,461
-[Sheila] Leave me patio alone!
-Fucking hell.
941
00:46:57,541 --> 00:46:58,860
[party blowers honk]
942
00:46:58,941 --> 00:47:00,541
Party!
943
00:47:00,621 --> 00:47:02,461
[laughter]
944
00:47:03,380 --> 00:47:04,461
[Veronica] It's your wedding day.
945
00:47:04,541 --> 00:47:06,900
If you're not gonna marry her,
you have got to tell her.
946
00:47:08,701 --> 00:47:10,741
Fuck me.
947
00:47:56,541 --> 00:48:00,621
Today, we'll be cruising
at an altitude of 50,000 feet.
948
00:48:00,701 --> 00:48:02,981
In the unlikely event
of an emergency,
949
00:48:03,061 --> 00:48:05,900
the exits are located
to the rear of the plane.
950
00:48:08,900 --> 00:48:11,061
-[Kev, softly] Bitch.
-I heard that.
67065
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