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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,261 --> 00:00:10,141 [Frank] Now, nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate 2 00:00:10,221 --> 00:00:13,580 is the Garden of Eden, but it's been a good home to us, 3 00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:17,501 to me, Frank Gallagher, and me kids, who I'm proud of, 4 00:00:17,581 --> 00:00:21,940 cos every single one of 'em reminds me a little of me. 5 00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:24,261 See, they can all think for themselves, 6 00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:26,460 which they've got me to thank for. 7 00:00:26,541 --> 00:00:27,660 [Lip] Quick, leg it! 8 00:00:27,741 --> 00:00:30,061 [Frank] Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, 9 00:00:30,140 --> 00:00:32,540 which is why nobody calls him Phillip anymore. 10 00:00:32,621 --> 00:00:35,141 Ian, lot like his mam, which is handy for the others, 11 00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:37,141 cos she's disappeared into thin air. 12 00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:39,981 And Carl. We daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons. 13 00:00:40,061 --> 00:00:42,661 One, it makes it stand on end and makes him look like Toyah. 14 00:00:42,741 --> 00:00:44,101 Two, nits love him. 15 00:00:44,181 --> 00:00:47,260 Debbie! Sent by God, total angel. 16 00:00:47,341 --> 00:00:48,421 You've to check your change, 17 00:00:48,501 --> 00:00:50,701 but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favor. 18 00:00:51,501 --> 00:00:54,781 Plus lickle Liam, who's gonna be a star someday. 19 00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,821 Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier. 20 00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:59,860 One plate short of a full set, like. 21 00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:03,061 And fantastic neighbors, Kev and Veronica. 22 00:01:03,141 --> 00:01:05,381 Lend you anything. Well, almost anything. 23 00:01:05,461 --> 00:01:07,821 Carol and Marty, the lodgers from hell. 24 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,181 Last of the lonely hearts and a psychologist's wet dream. 25 00:01:11,261 --> 00:01:12,861 Still, nobody's perfect. 26 00:01:12,941 --> 00:01:16,661 But all of 'em, to a man, know first and foremost 27 00:01:16,741 --> 00:01:19,541 one of the most vital necessities in life is, 28 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:21,981 they know how to throw a party! 29 00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:23,541 [chuckles] Scatter! 30 00:01:23,661 --> 00:01:26,221 ♪ What's new, Pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 31 00:01:26,621 --> 00:01:31,101 ♪ What's new, Pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ 32 00:01:32,461 --> 00:01:33,860 [woman] Get your shirt off, Frank! 33 00:01:33,941 --> 00:01:37,381 ♪ Pussycat, Pussycat I've got flowers ♪ 34 00:01:37,461 --> 00:01:41,821 ♪ And lots of hours To spend with you ♪ 35 00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:46,261 ♪ So, go and powder Your cute little pussycat nose ♪ 36 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:50,821 ♪ Pussycat, Pussycat I love you ♪ 37 00:01:51,381 --> 00:01:54,821 ♪ Yes, I do... ♪ 38 00:01:54,901 --> 00:01:57,700 [Ian] Someone once said that life's what happens 39 00:01:57,780 --> 00:02:00,500 when you're busy making other plans. Feels about right. 40 00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:02,580 We're all so busy looking at the road ahead, 41 00:02:02,661 --> 00:02:04,301 we never really notice where we're at, 42 00:02:04,381 --> 00:02:07,021 which is dangerous, because sometimes 43 00:02:07,101 --> 00:02:09,021 there's a great, big, fucking juggernaut coming. 44 00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:11,260 State of him. How does it happen? 45 00:02:11,341 --> 00:02:14,221 -How do you get like that? -♪ You're a tosser... ♪ 46 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,260 -People love him. -Yeah, I know. 47 00:02:16,341 --> 00:02:17,181 And it's pathetic. 48 00:02:17,260 --> 00:02:20,061 So, er, who are you going to vote for? Queen? 49 00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:22,421 [Ian] No one. They're all terrible. 50 00:02:23,980 --> 00:02:28,021 ♪ Pussycat, Pussycat I love you ♪ 51 00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:30,141 ♪ Yes, I do ♪ 52 00:02:30,221 --> 00:02:33,901 ♪ It's not unusual You and your pussycat eyes ♪ 53 00:02:33,980 --> 00:02:34,901 ♪ Both of them ♪ 54 00:02:36,221 --> 00:02:39,301 [music playing] 55 00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:40,861 [Lip] How much for a tit wank, girls? 56 00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:43,901 -Dunno. What you offering? -Don't pay for it. 57 00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:45,820 -Don't have to. -ls that right? 58 00:02:45,901 --> 00:02:47,301 Got 'em queuing 'round the block. 59 00:02:47,380 --> 00:02:49,061 -[car engine revs] -When you're ready. 60 00:02:49,861 --> 00:02:52,901 Gotta go. See you later, if you're lucky. 61 00:02:56,661 --> 00:02:58,461 Poke my sister, you're dead. 62 00:03:00,141 --> 00:03:01,221 [tires screeching] 63 00:03:03,861 --> 00:03:08,181 ♪ He says, I'm sorry I'm out of milk and coffee ♪ 64 00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:11,420 ♪ Never mind, sugar We can watch the early... ♪ 65 00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:13,420 -We need words, Councilor. -The matter's closed. 66 00:03:13,501 --> 00:03:14,621 Far from it, Mr. Karib. 67 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,901 The Catholic Youth Club provides an important social function, 68 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,941 knitting together the fabric of this community 69 00:03:20,021 --> 00:03:21,621 -and I-- -It's a drugs den. 70 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,901 -Its closure might-- -It's a fucking drugs den. 71 00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,501 It's not a drugs den. It's a youth club, 72 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,260 for good, honest kids with nowhere else to go. 73 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,100 And whilst it may be convenient 74 00:03:33,181 --> 00:03:35,301 for you and your council cronies to dismiss that, 75 00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:37,420 so you can line your pockets by selling the land, 76 00:03:37,501 --> 00:03:40,661 those kids need God's good guidance. 77 00:03:40,741 --> 00:03:43,380 -I've bought drugs from there. -The motion's passed. 78 00:03:43,461 --> 00:03:45,820 It's being demolished. End of story. 79 00:03:45,901 --> 00:03:48,980 The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand 80 00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:52,781 that does not grasp. You may care to remember that. 81 00:03:52,861 --> 00:03:54,861 [indistinct chatter] 82 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,221 [crowd cheering] 83 00:04:02,221 --> 00:04:06,540 Here you go, Carol. Supplies, courtesy of Hotel Britannica. 84 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,021 [Carol] I'm not sewing 'em now. 85 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,860 What have you brought it all here for? 86 00:04:09,941 --> 00:04:11,820 -We're shooting off to a party. -What sort of party? 87 00:04:11,901 --> 00:04:14,061 -The sort you're not coming to. -[Ian] Hiya. 88 00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:15,581 [Lip] All right. Can you get us some take-outs? 89 00:04:15,661 --> 00:04:16,500 Yeah. What are you after? 90 00:04:16,581 --> 00:04:19,620 -A few cans. Lager will do. -Strongest you've got. 91 00:04:20,381 --> 00:04:21,941 So, you're not inviting us, then? 92 00:04:22,021 --> 00:04:24,740 No offence, Sue, but it's gonna be pretty hardcore. 93 00:04:24,821 --> 00:04:26,421 Well, we can do hardcore, can't we, Marty? 94 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,021 -We've heard. -[Marty] Golden shower! 95 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,341 [cheering and applause] 96 00:04:30,421 --> 00:04:32,021 [cheering] 97 00:04:32,861 --> 00:04:33,941 [Kev] Great stuff, great stuff. 98 00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:36,021 Next we've got Wendy Wagstaff, everyone! 99 00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,141 -Come over here. -[crowd cheering] 100 00:04:37,221 --> 00:04:39,341 [Kev] Hello, darling. You all right? 101 00:04:39,421 --> 00:04:40,981 Tell us who you're gonna be tonight, Wendy. 102 00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:44,141 Kev, tonight, I'm going to be Karen Carpenter. 103 00:04:44,221 --> 00:04:45,620 [crowd cheering] 104 00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:47,661 Jesus! Shoot me now! 105 00:04:48,461 --> 00:04:49,740 [turns engine off] 106 00:04:51,661 --> 00:04:53,821 -You're working too hard. -[Kash] It's only short-term, 107 00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:56,021 just till all this council stuff's been dealt with. 108 00:04:56,101 --> 00:04:58,461 Hey, there's a conference in a couple of weeks. 109 00:04:58,541 --> 00:05:02,461 Harrogate. You could come over. Hotel's been paid for. 110 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:08,661 Night. 111 00:05:09,261 --> 00:05:10,500 Night. 112 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:18,861 [engine starts] 113 00:05:31,141 --> 00:05:34,301 Only got a few hours' kip. Those pills were proper mental. 114 00:05:36,021 --> 00:05:38,341 -Do you fancy another? -We can't! 115 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,940 Why not? Sly half. It'll give the day an interesting spin. 116 00:05:46,861 --> 00:05:50,101 And by the way, Zoe said to tell you 117 00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:52,141 that she'll be expecting you after work. 118 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,021 [knocking on door] 119 00:06:09,701 --> 00:06:10,661 All right, Blondie? 120 00:06:11,781 --> 00:06:13,060 Oh, no. 121 00:06:14,060 --> 00:06:16,221 [pounding on door] 122 00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:20,341 Can I see me fucking brother? 123 00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:23,781 Kev! Kev, let us in. 124 00:06:24,461 --> 00:06:25,620 [Kelly] Fuck off! 125 00:06:25,701 --> 00:06:28,421 Fuck off yourself, you dirty, fucking scaghead! 126 00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,301 [Kelly] Come on, Kev, open the door. 127 00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:32,781 Let me in, Kev. I can see-- Move your fucking hand, you... 128 00:06:32,861 --> 00:06:33,901 [Veronica] Buzz off! 129 00:06:33,981 --> 00:06:36,021 There's no way, Kel, not after last time. 130 00:06:36,101 --> 00:06:38,021 Veronica would have me bollocks in a bag. 131 00:06:38,101 --> 00:06:39,500 She just doesn't like me. 132 00:06:39,581 --> 00:06:41,101 She caught you shooting up in our bog. 133 00:06:42,141 --> 00:06:44,701 -I'm clean now. Honest. -It's not just that. 134 00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:46,940 It's you two. You're at each other like cat and dog. 135 00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:47,901 Dog's right, in her case. 136 00:06:48,581 --> 00:06:50,021 [Kelly sighs] I'm working again. 137 00:06:50,101 --> 00:06:52,021 I've got money coming in, look. 138 00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:55,180 I've finally found something I'm good at. 139 00:06:55,781 --> 00:06:58,221 -I just need a room, that's all. -I can't help you, babes. 140 00:06:58,301 --> 00:06:59,180 You'll have to ask about. 141 00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:02,021 I'm sure someone could do with the extra reddies. 142 00:07:02,101 --> 00:07:04,101 Contemporary living accommodation, 143 00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:07,260 conveniently situated close to all local amenities. 144 00:07:07,341 --> 00:07:08,301 How much are we talking? 145 00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:14,661 [Ian] Twenty gift packs sorted. Five a pop. 146 00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:17,101 Don't rip it. Dickhead! 147 00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:19,260 -[Carl] Fuck off! -[Ian] You fuck off! 148 00:07:21,301 --> 00:07:24,861 Wendy says she'll take another-- What are you doing? Scissors. 149 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:26,781 Another 30 for the market, 150 00:07:26,861 --> 00:07:29,221 but only if we can get the same price as last time. And Lisa's 151 00:07:29,301 --> 00:07:30,620 -gonna get back to us. -Good morning. 152 00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:32,740 Morning. 153 00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:40,820 So blag. 154 00:07:43,620 --> 00:07:45,221 No, sorry. Put it back. 155 00:07:45,981 --> 00:07:47,180 -[thuds] -What are you on about? 156 00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:49,060 That bread was bought by communal money. 157 00:07:49,141 --> 00:07:51,180 Money earned by everyone, with one exception. 158 00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:53,940 So, I am supposed to starve, am I, cos I can't find work? 159 00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:55,781 -You've not even looked. -You've not even been trying. 160 00:07:55,861 --> 00:07:58,101 I don't even live here. Well, you act as if you do 161 00:07:58,180 --> 00:07:59,820 and eat as if you do. 162 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,461 Everyone has to contribute, Sue. 163 00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:03,500 I'll pay for her. 164 00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:06,740 Well, she's my guest, so I'll just earn twice as much. 165 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:07,781 Problem sorted. 166 00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:08,901 And how are you gonna do that, Marty? 167 00:08:08,981 --> 00:08:10,141 Get a job. How do you think? 168 00:08:10,221 --> 00:08:11,740 You've been for a dozen jobs this year. 169 00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:12,901 You've not got a single one. 170 00:08:12,981 --> 00:08:14,341 Donkey dick! Sorry. 171 00:08:14,421 --> 00:08:15,380 Bumface! 172 00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:17,221 Motherfucker-shit-wank-twat-face! [imitates dog bark] 173 00:08:19,380 --> 00:08:20,740 Look. 174 00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:23,301 I've put adverts up. Handyman. 175 00:08:23,781 --> 00:08:25,661 You know, fixing stuff. 176 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:27,901 -Sue reckons work will come rolling in. -Mm. 177 00:08:27,981 --> 00:08:29,541 Fine, but we're not having passengers. 178 00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:31,380 If you're staying here, you pay your way. 179 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:34,661 Aw. 180 00:08:35,741 --> 00:08:36,700 Bone idle! 181 00:08:43,541 --> 00:08:44,741 [doorbell rings] 182 00:08:48,021 --> 00:08:49,741 -I got your invite. -What invite? 183 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,701 From Jack. Said you'd told him to... 184 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,340 [distant dog barking] 185 00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:58,541 He thinks he's funny. He likes playing God with people. 186 00:08:59,421 --> 00:09:00,701 Maybe he was being benevolent. 187 00:09:01,501 --> 00:09:02,581 You know... 188 00:09:03,781 --> 00:09:04,980 forcing us together. 189 00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:07,220 That's what we both want, innit? 190 00:09:07,941 --> 00:09:09,061 Bit of a time together. 191 00:09:09,861 --> 00:09:11,861 Whatever happened to courtship? 192 00:09:12,581 --> 00:09:13,421 Dates? 193 00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:16,781 Flowers? If all you want is a quick jump, Lip, 194 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,301 you've got the wrong girl. 195 00:09:24,661 --> 00:09:25,821 Jack. Hiya. 196 00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:28,061 God, sorry, I was miles away. 197 00:09:28,141 --> 00:09:29,980 -Lip's not here. -I'm not looking for Lip. 198 00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:32,261 -Right. -[woman] It's ridiculous... 199 00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:33,301 Erm... 200 00:09:34,901 --> 00:09:37,061 -Do you want a drink? -All right. 201 00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:39,181 Unless you fancy something a bit stronger? 202 00:09:43,701 --> 00:09:44,661 [indistinct chatter] 203 00:09:44,741 --> 00:09:45,941 [Ian sniffing] 204 00:09:46,021 --> 00:09:47,220 [Jack] That'll soften the edges. 205 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,381 Oh. [sniffs] 206 00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:51,541 You're not kidding. 207 00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:53,901 God, it's burning. 208 00:09:55,581 --> 00:09:57,100 Fuck, that's really... 209 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,301 Do you like that? 210 00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,541 No, not yet. Tomorrow. 211 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:24,100 [Jack exhales] 212 00:10:25,061 --> 00:10:26,181 -You home? -[zipper closes] 213 00:10:27,301 --> 00:10:28,220 Definitely. 214 00:10:32,421 --> 00:10:33,381 Good. 215 00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:43,781 [Sheila] Oh, Sadie. All nice and clean now, aren't ya? 216 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,261 [vacuum cleaner whirring] 217 00:10:46,421 --> 00:10:48,261 -Hi. -Damsel in distress. 218 00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:51,460 Needing shelter, somewhere to call home. 219 00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:54,661 Kelly. Kev's sister. 220 00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,301 Oh. Pleased to meet you. 221 00:10:56,381 --> 00:10:58,141 Said she could have Karen's room. 222 00:10:59,261 --> 00:11:01,261 Right. Right. Er, shoes. Take your shoes off. 223 00:11:04,381 --> 00:11:05,261 [Sadie barks] 224 00:11:05,340 --> 00:11:06,421 [Frank] Up you go. 225 00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:09,460 Go on, make yourself comfy. 226 00:11:09,541 --> 00:11:11,821 -[sighs] -It's at the back, here. 227 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:17,181 -[Sheila] Frank. -Oh. 228 00:11:17,781 --> 00:11:19,421 She used to be on drugs. 229 00:11:20,621 --> 00:11:21,941 Well, who didn't? 230 00:11:23,021 --> 00:11:27,340 I mean, what sort of society is it if we can't offer forgiveness? 231 00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:29,460 You know, if a young deviant doesn't deserve 232 00:11:29,541 --> 00:11:31,021 a second chance? Tell me that. 233 00:11:31,701 --> 00:11:32,621 Yeah. 234 00:11:33,181 --> 00:11:35,021 It would be nice to have an extra pair of hands 235 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:36,621 -helping out. -Exactly! 236 00:11:36,701 --> 00:11:37,781 Bit of company for you, 237 00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:39,181 -help with the kids. -Yeah. 238 00:11:39,261 --> 00:11:41,301 She's like an au pair without the accent. 239 00:11:41,381 --> 00:11:42,541 Au pair? 240 00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:45,821 You're not gonna have sex with her, are you? 241 00:11:45,901 --> 00:11:49,460 I mean, I've seen a documentary about it on Channel Five. 242 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,100 It's almost an epidemic. 243 00:11:51,181 --> 00:11:53,421 Hello! Sex? 244 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,061 -I've got you, haven't I? -[both chuckle] 245 00:11:56,141 --> 00:11:57,781 Do you really think I'd be interested in some 246 00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:58,821 -slip of a-- -[Sheila sighs] 247 00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:01,541 Gonna jump in shower. 248 00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:03,661 [Kelly] Can I help myself to shampoo and that? 249 00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:05,100 Yeah. 250 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,621 -[door closes] -[chuckles] 251 00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:18,460 [distant siren wailing] 252 00:12:23,541 --> 00:12:24,781 [knocks] 253 00:12:31,701 --> 00:12:32,901 [Jack] Anyone home? 254 00:12:44,740 --> 00:12:47,220 [both breathing heavily] 255 00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:53,340 [both chuckle] 256 00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:06,821 [Jack sighs] 257 00:13:06,901 --> 00:13:08,301 [Kash] There you go, Lillian. 258 00:13:08,901 --> 00:13:10,501 You haven't got anything to unblock drains, 259 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,220 -have you, Kash? -Not unless you wanna try 260 00:13:12,301 --> 00:13:13,501 -the vodka. -[door opens] 261 00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:17,421 Twenty Bensons. 262 00:13:18,941 --> 00:13:20,220 Five-twenty. 263 00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:22,740 The Catholic community is very loyal, Kash. 264 00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:24,181 It'd be unfortunate if your livelihood 265 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:26,821 were to suffer because of their principles. 266 00:13:26,901 --> 00:13:28,541 -Is that some kind of threat? -[door opens] 267 00:13:29,941 --> 00:13:31,860 God works in mysterious ways. 268 00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,581 And so does Allah. Now, piss off 269 00:13:33,661 --> 00:13:35,421 before I strangle you with your rosaries. 270 00:13:39,581 --> 00:13:40,901 [engine starts] 271 00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:50,541 [Jack] I've gotta go. 272 00:13:51,941 --> 00:13:53,581 I'll see you soon. 273 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:55,620 When? 274 00:13:56,821 --> 00:13:59,421 Who knows? That's the fun of it. 275 00:14:09,301 --> 00:14:10,821 [doorbell rings] 276 00:14:12,821 --> 00:14:14,261 Who says courtship's dead? 277 00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:15,941 You'll have to do better than that! 278 00:14:19,021 --> 00:14:20,500 Jesus! 279 00:14:23,021 --> 00:14:24,460 [exhales] 280 00:14:26,901 --> 00:14:30,821 I'm free Friday, if you wanna try harder. 281 00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:36,220 -[phone rings] -Phone. 282 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,340 [Carl] Hello? 283 00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:42,500 -Handy Andy? -That's me! 284 00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:47,141 Hello. Yeah. No, that's me middle name. 285 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,661 One minute. I'll just get a pen. 286 00:14:48,740 --> 00:14:50,701 What have you been doing in my room? 287 00:14:50,781 --> 00:14:52,740 Borrowing your hair dryer. Mine's blown. 288 00:14:53,301 --> 00:14:54,821 -[Marty] All right. -Ask Marty. 289 00:14:54,901 --> 00:14:56,100 What's happened, Debs? 290 00:14:56,181 --> 00:14:57,500 The housekeeping's gone missing. 291 00:14:57,581 --> 00:14:59,460 A hundred and twenty pounds. 292 00:15:01,581 --> 00:15:02,740 Well, don't look at me. 293 00:15:02,821 --> 00:15:04,220 [Debbie] Well, it was there this morning. 294 00:15:04,301 --> 00:15:05,980 -Who else has been in there? -You can accuse me 295 00:15:06,061 --> 00:15:07,340 of a lot of things, but I'm not a thief! 296 00:15:07,421 --> 00:15:09,781 All right, bye. I've got me first job! 297 00:15:25,261 --> 00:15:27,261 You know the other day, when you came round to ours? 298 00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:28,781 What of it? 299 00:15:34,261 --> 00:15:35,261 It were good, wasn't it? 300 00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:38,021 [chuckles] 301 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,421 Forbidden fruit and all that. 302 00:15:42,261 --> 00:15:43,381 Nah, I mean, like... 303 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:45,301 really good. 304 00:15:51,381 --> 00:15:53,301 I've gotta go. Do you need a lift anywhere? 305 00:15:53,941 --> 00:15:56,421 Nah, I'll walk. I fancy a bit of air. 306 00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:09,340 [car engine starts] 307 00:16:27,141 --> 00:16:29,380 -[Kelly] Oh, yeah. -[man] Yeah. 308 00:16:29,460 --> 00:16:31,061 [Kelly moaning] 309 00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:32,541 -[Kelly] Oh, God! Oh! -[man] Yeah. 310 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:35,301 -[Kelly moaning] -[man panting] 311 00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:39,261 [Kelly] Get down there. Get down there. 312 00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:40,541 [masturbating] 313 00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:43,781 -[man pants] -[Kelly moans] 314 00:16:43,860 --> 00:16:45,421 [Kelly] Oh, yeah. 315 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:47,141 -Christ! -[Frank groans] 316 00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:50,460 Get in, get in, get in. 317 00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:55,980 [Sheila] What were you doing? 318 00:16:56,061 --> 00:16:59,421 Kelly. Bloke in with her. Shagging. [imitates moans] 319 00:17:00,301 --> 00:17:02,181 -What, now? -Yeah. 320 00:17:02,261 --> 00:17:04,100 -In there? -Yes. 321 00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:07,541 Two people, having sex... 322 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,940 on the other side of that wall. 323 00:17:11,021 --> 00:17:12,900 -[Sheila breathes deeply] -[Frank] Er. 324 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,340 [Frank] Oh. 325 00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:17,940 -[Sue] How blonde's blonde? -Don't go mad. 326 00:17:18,021 --> 00:17:19,501 I don't wanna end up look like Margi Clarke. 327 00:17:19,581 --> 00:17:20,860 I hope you're charging for that. 328 00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,021 -Er, Debs. -She's been like this all week. 329 00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:25,100 -Has she told you why? -Why what? 330 00:17:25,180 --> 00:17:26,461 [Sue] Debbie thinks I've stolen money. 331 00:17:26,541 --> 00:17:28,621 Oh, come on, Debs, you can't go round saying things like that. 332 00:17:28,701 --> 00:17:31,021 -Well, someone has. -Has anyone seen my keys? 333 00:17:31,101 --> 00:17:32,781 I can't find them anywhere. 334 00:17:32,861 --> 00:17:35,141 -They've got the shop keys on. -Have you looked in the bedroom? 335 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,940 No, Carl. I never thought of that. 336 00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:39,701 This place is such a fucking tip it could be anywhere. 337 00:17:40,141 --> 00:17:41,180 Right, I'm off to work. 338 00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,501 -[gasps] Look at you! -Bloody hell! 339 00:17:43,581 --> 00:17:45,180 I never thought I'd see the day! 340 00:17:45,261 --> 00:17:46,981 No, this is the new me. 341 00:17:47,061 --> 00:17:49,420 Sue reckons there's no end to where it could lead. 342 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:50,621 -[Sue] See ya. -See ya. 343 00:17:50,701 --> 00:17:52,301 Have a good day, worker. 344 00:17:52,981 --> 00:17:54,701 I'll cook you summat special for tea. 345 00:18:00,141 --> 00:18:01,621 Half of these are ballads. 346 00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:04,701 I draw the line at fucking ballads. 347 00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:05,900 What about "Goldfinger"? 348 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,221 Everyone loves a Bond theme, 349 00:18:08,301 --> 00:18:10,861 -apart from that one by Duran Duran. -Morning. 350 00:18:10,940 --> 00:18:12,701 Good morning. 351 00:18:12,781 --> 00:18:15,541 You got any juice? Me mouth tastes like rotting fish. 352 00:18:15,621 --> 00:18:17,701 [Sheila] I've made you some breakfast. 353 00:18:17,781 --> 00:18:19,701 -Fresh coffee, toast. -[Kelly] Brilliant. 354 00:18:19,781 --> 00:18:20,940 I'm starving. 355 00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:23,541 -Er... -[babies cooing] 356 00:18:23,621 --> 00:18:25,180 ...will your friend be joining us? 357 00:18:25,261 --> 00:18:26,981 -No. -[Sheila] Oh. 358 00:18:27,061 --> 00:18:28,141 He shot off early. 359 00:18:28,861 --> 00:18:31,381 He's a train driver, morning shift. 360 00:18:31,461 --> 00:18:32,541 [Sheila] Oh. 361 00:18:33,221 --> 00:18:34,301 That's a shame. 362 00:18:35,341 --> 00:18:36,981 Well, tell him if he wants to join us again... 363 00:18:39,101 --> 00:18:40,660 he's more than welcome. 364 00:18:41,741 --> 00:18:43,461 [breathes deeply] 365 00:18:48,781 --> 00:18:50,981 [babies cooing] 366 00:18:52,180 --> 00:18:54,341 [Lillian] I thought your voice sounded familiar. 367 00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:56,101 [chuckles] Drains need doing. 368 00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:58,900 Stink to high heaven. And a spot of painting. 369 00:18:58,981 --> 00:19:01,981 My Brendan used to do all this, God rest his soul. 370 00:19:02,061 --> 00:19:03,541 He were useless at most things, 371 00:19:03,621 --> 00:19:05,900 but give him a trowel and some caustic soda, 372 00:19:05,981 --> 00:19:08,541 he was happy as a pig in shit. Kettle's on. 373 00:19:27,621 --> 00:19:29,261 [tires screeching] 374 00:19:37,821 --> 00:19:40,341 Hey, Marty! Marty! [laughs] 375 00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:43,420 -Bastard! [screams] -[glass breaks] 376 00:19:44,261 --> 00:19:46,341 -Oh, dear God! Marty! -[Marty grunts] 377 00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:47,660 Oh, I hurt me hand! 378 00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:50,341 [Lillian] Wriggle your fingers for me. 379 00:19:51,301 --> 00:19:52,940 How do you know how to do all this? 380 00:19:53,021 --> 00:19:54,781 I do a first aid course down community center. 381 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,501 You'd be surprised how often it comes in. 382 00:19:58,141 --> 00:19:59,741 You'll have to rest that for a few days. 383 00:19:59,821 --> 00:20:01,461 No, I-- I'm fine, honest! 384 00:20:01,541 --> 00:20:04,621 [stammers] I need to keep working and I need the money... 385 00:20:05,261 --> 00:20:06,981 And I like being here. I don't want to let you down. 386 00:20:07,061 --> 00:20:08,940 -Spunk-face! [grunts] -Aww! 387 00:20:09,021 --> 00:20:10,700 You remind me of my Brendan. 388 00:20:10,781 --> 00:20:12,700 People used to mock because of his stammer. 389 00:20:13,261 --> 00:20:15,221 Anything with an S in it, well, you were buggered. 390 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:18,660 But once you got to know him, he had heart of gold. 391 00:20:22,061 --> 00:20:23,700 It's lonely without him, Marty. 392 00:20:24,861 --> 00:20:28,141 You don't realize what loneliness is until you lose your soulmate. 393 00:20:29,301 --> 00:20:30,581 -[chuckles] -Mm. 394 00:20:33,821 --> 00:20:36,061 Will you stay to tea? I've got a shepherd's pie in. 395 00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:38,301 It were Brendan's favorite. 396 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:43,581 [Carol] I've only one pair of hands, you know? 397 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,621 It's gonna take me weeks to get through this lot. 398 00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:47,900 The concierge is ill at the moment, so it's easy pickings. 399 00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:49,541 So, when do we see our cut of this? 400 00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:51,981 When all the money comes in. 401 00:20:52,061 --> 00:20:53,541 And when's that likely to be? 402 00:20:53,621 --> 00:20:55,621 Don't worry, mate, you'll get it. 403 00:20:56,821 --> 00:20:59,021 -I'm just gonna use your bog. -[Lip] Go for it. 404 00:21:02,101 --> 00:21:04,981 [indistinct conversation] 405 00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:07,501 [toilet flushes] 406 00:21:08,381 --> 00:21:10,541 -What the fuck you doing? -Forbidden fruit and all that. 407 00:21:10,621 --> 00:21:12,341 Fuck off! Lip's downstairs. 408 00:21:13,381 --> 00:21:15,101 -I'm sorry. -Here. 409 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,221 You left these in me car. 410 00:21:34,141 --> 00:21:36,461 Wow! You look amazing. 411 00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:40,581 Don't look so bad yourself. 412 00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:49,821 How're my two favorite girls? 413 00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:53,821 You know the trouble here, you're too similar. 414 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:56,660 You could be bezzie mates if you'd only let yourselves. 415 00:21:57,501 --> 00:22:00,420 Oh, fuck's sake! Look. We're grown-ups. 416 00:22:00,501 --> 00:22:04,221 Can't we just have a drink and let bygones be bygones? 417 00:22:04,301 --> 00:22:05,541 Suits me. 418 00:22:05,621 --> 00:22:07,900 -Fine. -Rum and coke 419 00:22:07,981 --> 00:22:09,261 and whatever for Blond... 420 00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:13,341 -Veronica. -There, now. Happy families. 421 00:22:14,781 --> 00:22:17,021 Actually, me date's here. 422 00:22:17,981 --> 00:22:19,861 It'll have to be another time. 423 00:22:23,420 --> 00:22:25,180 We always look out for each other, me and Jack. 424 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,700 I suppose we have to. We're the only family we've really got. 425 00:22:27,781 --> 00:22:29,501 You can have a couple of ours, if you want. 426 00:22:29,581 --> 00:22:30,940 -[Zoe chuckles] -Liam's cute. 427 00:22:31,021 --> 00:22:33,420 Bites a bit, but he'll grow out of it eventually. 428 00:22:33,501 --> 00:22:35,141 -[Lip chuckles] -Jack says you're clever. 429 00:22:35,940 --> 00:22:38,341 The last thing you need's to get trapped 'round here. 430 00:22:38,420 --> 00:22:40,261 -I won't. -How do you know? 431 00:22:40,341 --> 00:22:41,541 I'm different. 432 00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:43,581 [chuckles] Same again? 433 00:22:46,460 --> 00:22:48,221 You fucking wanker! Look at the state of her. 434 00:22:48,301 --> 00:22:50,381 -Your brother owes me money. -Oh, you'll get it, arsehole! 435 00:22:50,460 --> 00:22:51,940 I know, cos you're gonna go and remind him. 436 00:22:52,021 --> 00:22:53,660 Apologize. -You what? 437 00:22:53,741 --> 00:22:56,660 -I said, apologize. -Or you'll be doing what? 438 00:22:56,741 --> 00:22:58,501 Lip, leave it. Look, I'm fine 439 00:22:58,581 --> 00:22:59,981 I'll tell Jack to pay you for the gear. 440 00:23:00,061 --> 00:23:01,900 So, why don't we just forget all about it? 441 00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,821 Fucking slapper! 442 00:23:04,381 --> 00:23:05,741 [groaning] 443 00:23:07,460 --> 00:23:08,460 [grunts] 444 00:23:12,460 --> 00:23:13,460 Come on. 445 00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:16,341 -Come on. -[laughing] 446 00:23:21,821 --> 00:23:23,261 [both laughing] 447 00:23:38,021 --> 00:23:39,621 -[Lip panting] -[Zoe moans] 448 00:23:40,781 --> 00:23:42,621 [panting continues] 449 00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:44,501 [moaning continues] 450 00:23:44,581 --> 00:23:47,581 He's calling her "dirty bitch". He's asking her to bite him. 451 00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:49,741 Look, Sheila, I'm up for a bit of, you know-- 452 00:23:49,821 --> 00:23:51,981 I like kinky as much as the next bloke, 453 00:23:52,061 --> 00:23:54,141 -but, you know, this is... -He's begging her! 454 00:23:54,621 --> 00:23:56,700 She's slapping him and he's begging her! 455 00:23:56,781 --> 00:23:58,581 You'll be drilling a fucking hole next. 456 00:23:58,660 --> 00:24:01,221 I mean, can't we just-- This is the third night running. 457 00:24:01,301 --> 00:24:02,541 No wonder the fucking trains 458 00:24:02,621 --> 00:24:04,541 -are running late. -This isn't the train driver. 459 00:24:04,621 --> 00:24:06,581 -Nor was the one this afternoon. -[indistinct shouting] 460 00:24:06,660 --> 00:24:09,061 Different voices, different requests. 461 00:24:09,141 --> 00:24:11,101 -What? -She's playing the field, 462 00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:12,581 saucy minx. 463 00:24:14,221 --> 00:24:16,741 She's had sex with four different blokes! 464 00:24:16,821 --> 00:24:18,221 -[buzzing] -I mean, how many fucking 465 00:24:18,301 --> 00:24:19,581 boyfriends does she-- 466 00:24:19,660 --> 00:24:22,061 I finally found something I'm good at. 467 00:24:22,141 --> 00:24:23,821 I just need a room, that's all. 468 00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:26,141 Oh, Jesus Christ! 469 00:24:26,221 --> 00:24:28,301 Last little whorehouse in Chatsworth. 470 00:24:29,341 --> 00:24:30,621 [door slams] 471 00:24:32,541 --> 00:24:34,621 [keys jingling] 472 00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:36,420 [door opens] 473 00:24:36,501 --> 00:24:37,700 [thud] 474 00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:44,460 [thud] 475 00:24:48,101 --> 00:24:49,700 Turn around and fuck off! 476 00:24:53,900 --> 00:24:55,180 You can keep the money. 477 00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:57,501 Just get the fuck out of my shop! 478 00:24:58,621 --> 00:24:59,501 Now! 479 00:25:00,381 --> 00:25:02,900 -[spraying] -[Kash groans] You fucking... 480 00:25:04,341 --> 00:25:06,940 -[blows landing] -[Kash groaning] 481 00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:09,180 [groaning continues] 482 00:25:20,621 --> 00:25:22,180 [thudding] 483 00:25:22,821 --> 00:25:26,061 [distant police siren wailing] 484 00:25:34,501 --> 00:25:38,180 How's my little sister getting on? She keeping herself out of trouble? 485 00:25:40,180 --> 00:25:41,621 She's a prostitute. 486 00:25:42,621 --> 00:25:43,900 Prostitute? 487 00:25:44,981 --> 00:25:46,301 As in? 488 00:25:46,381 --> 00:25:48,341 Pros-tit-tute. 489 00:25:48,420 --> 00:25:51,700 Shags men for money in my fucking house. 490 00:25:51,781 --> 00:25:54,940 Frank, that is my little sister you're calling a tart, 491 00:25:55,021 --> 00:25:56,541 so you better have your facts-- 492 00:25:56,621 --> 00:25:58,700 Men come in day and night, so to speak. 493 00:25:58,781 --> 00:26:01,220 Hour at a time: ''Lick me'', ''Spank me." 494 00:26:01,821 --> 00:26:03,460 "Let me call you Mummy." 495 00:26:05,180 --> 00:26:07,660 Where else do you think she's getting the fucking wedge from? 496 00:26:08,381 --> 00:26:10,101 -Oh, Jesus! -[Frank] Yeah. 497 00:26:11,420 --> 00:26:13,261 I'll have words. I'll ask her to leave-- 498 00:26:13,341 --> 00:26:15,261 Oh, you can't have that going on in-- 499 00:26:15,341 --> 00:26:16,581 You can't. 500 00:26:17,700 --> 00:26:18,700 Sheila likes it. 501 00:26:18,781 --> 00:26:20,301 -You what? -Turns her on. 502 00:26:20,381 --> 00:26:22,460 She thinks Kelly's got a healthy sex life. 503 00:26:22,541 --> 00:26:25,141 She doesn't realize she's living with Cynthia fucking Payne. 504 00:26:25,741 --> 00:26:28,021 Getting luncheon vouchers in a minute. 505 00:26:29,621 --> 00:26:31,021 What's up with you two? 506 00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:34,341 -On the game, Kel? -[Kelly] What? 507 00:26:35,581 --> 00:26:37,940 Oh, have you got this off him? Perveball? 508 00:26:38,981 --> 00:26:41,581 I can't walk round the house without him undressing me with his eyes. 509 00:26:41,660 --> 00:26:44,101 -Hey! No, she's-- -So, I've had the odd man back. 510 00:26:44,700 --> 00:26:46,781 Catching up for lost time, aren't I? 511 00:26:46,861 --> 00:26:49,660 That's the thing when you get clean, your libido runs rampant. 512 00:26:51,861 --> 00:26:53,220 Here's your rent. 513 00:27:18,261 --> 00:27:21,501 He were laid there for hours. Unconscious. Blood everywhere. 514 00:27:21,581 --> 00:27:23,940 -Well, this is Father Crichton. -That's what I said. 515 00:27:24,021 --> 00:27:26,180 -It's gotta be, Kash. -He goes 'round making threats 516 00:27:26,261 --> 00:27:27,460 and then you end up looking like this. 517 00:27:27,541 --> 00:27:29,021 [mumbles] They were robbing us. 518 00:27:29,101 --> 00:27:31,460 They only got a bit of money, a few tokens. 519 00:27:31,541 --> 00:27:32,981 Oh, and Kash's mobile. 520 00:27:33,621 --> 00:27:35,381 But weirdest thing is, there were no forced entries, 521 00:27:35,460 --> 00:27:36,781 so God knows how they got in. 522 00:27:36,861 --> 00:27:38,341 They had keys. 523 00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:41,021 You what? 524 00:27:41,101 --> 00:27:42,700 [Yvonne] He reckons they had keys. 525 00:27:50,821 --> 00:27:51,861 [knocking on door] 526 00:27:51,940 --> 00:27:53,341 How does it feel, hon? 527 00:27:53,981 --> 00:27:55,220 [Marty through door] Er, good. 528 00:27:55,660 --> 00:27:57,061 Length's OK? 529 00:27:57,621 --> 00:27:59,021 [Marty] Perfect. 530 00:28:00,460 --> 00:28:01,420 [Marty clears throat] 531 00:28:01,861 --> 00:28:03,940 Oh, God. It is. 532 00:28:04,460 --> 00:28:05,501 It's him. 533 00:28:06,141 --> 00:28:08,981 It's like seeing my Brendan for the very first time. 534 00:28:09,861 --> 00:28:10,900 Say the line. 535 00:28:11,460 --> 00:28:12,341 Er... 536 00:28:12,940 --> 00:28:16,220 I haven't got much sh-sh-shore leave, pretty lady... 537 00:28:16,940 --> 00:28:20,420 [sniffs] ...but what I have got, I'd like to s-s-spend with you. 538 00:28:22,341 --> 00:28:23,541 Er, what did he call you? 539 00:28:24,420 --> 00:28:25,420 Lillian. 540 00:28:25,861 --> 00:28:27,981 Well, Lilly, may I buy you a drink? 541 00:28:29,381 --> 00:28:31,541 -Pint of stout. -[Marty clears throat] 542 00:28:33,301 --> 00:28:36,821 ["Mandolins in the Moonlight" by Perry Como playing] 543 00:28:37,940 --> 00:28:39,541 Prick! Cunt! 544 00:28:39,621 --> 00:28:41,180 Fucker! 545 00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:42,541 [chuckles] 546 00:28:42,621 --> 00:28:45,980 ♪ See what magic you start ♪ 547 00:28:46,061 --> 00:28:47,940 ♪ A song of Italy sings in... ♪ 548 00:28:48,021 --> 00:28:49,141 Cunt! 549 00:28:49,220 --> 00:28:50,180 Tit-wank! 550 00:28:50,261 --> 00:28:52,301 ♪ ...of my heart... ♪ 551 00:29:03,781 --> 00:29:04,980 [doorbell rings] 552 00:29:05,061 --> 00:29:07,141 [bangs] 553 00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:10,980 -Yeah? -Is Jack in? 554 00:29:11,061 --> 00:29:13,420 -Depends whose asking. -Ian Gallagher. 555 00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:15,261 I'm a... friend. 556 00:29:16,581 --> 00:29:17,460 [Claire] Jack? 557 00:29:23,101 --> 00:29:24,101 All right? 558 00:29:28,261 --> 00:29:29,341 Won't be long. 559 00:29:35,501 --> 00:29:37,341 What the fuck are you doing coming here unannounced? 560 00:29:37,420 --> 00:29:38,821 Nice girlfriend, Jack. Fit an' all. 561 00:29:38,900 --> 00:29:40,460 -You can't... -Does she know you like sucking cock? 562 00:29:40,541 --> 00:29:43,220 Shut it! I mean it, Ian, I will break your fucking legs. 563 00:29:43,301 --> 00:29:44,381 It's you, innit? 564 00:29:45,261 --> 00:29:46,821 The break-in, the stolen money. 565 00:29:47,980 --> 00:29:49,341 I've no idea what you're talking about. 566 00:29:49,420 --> 00:29:51,581 -You used me. -If you're gonna talk shit, Ian-- 567 00:29:51,660 --> 00:29:52,861 You left him for dead! 568 00:29:54,420 --> 00:29:55,621 He's my boyfriend. 569 00:29:57,460 --> 00:29:59,541 Bloke you knocked seven shades of shit out of 570 00:29:59,621 --> 00:30:02,940 -is my fucking boyfriend! -[Jack] Ian. You're upset. 571 00:30:03,021 --> 00:30:04,460 -But you've got-- -Fuck off! 572 00:30:04,541 --> 00:30:07,660 You stole my keys. Used them to do over the shop. 573 00:30:07,741 --> 00:30:09,581 You left 'em in my car. I give you them back. 574 00:30:09,660 --> 00:30:11,180 Now, why would I do that, Ian? 575 00:30:11,261 --> 00:30:12,541 If I'd nicked them, why would I not chuck 'em? 576 00:30:12,621 --> 00:30:14,101 See, if I were you, 577 00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:16,980 I'd think very carefully about what you're accusing. 578 00:30:17,061 --> 00:30:18,420 -[door opens] -Is everything all right? 579 00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:21,940 Yeah, we've just finished. Haven't we, Ian? 580 00:30:30,821 --> 00:30:31,781 [door closes] 581 00:30:33,581 --> 00:30:36,141 ["Close To You" by The Carpenters playing] 582 00:30:41,061 --> 00:30:45,621 ♪ Why do birds suddenly appear ♪ 583 00:30:46,501 --> 00:30:50,821 ♪ Every time you are near? ♪ 584 00:30:52,541 --> 00:30:54,781 ♪ Just like me... ♪ 585 00:30:54,861 --> 00:30:58,220 [Lillian] I miss him so much. What if I die, Marty? 586 00:30:58,301 --> 00:31:00,660 What if I go without ever being touched again? 587 00:31:00,741 --> 00:31:03,220 You might meet someone new. Who knows? 588 00:31:03,301 --> 00:31:05,141 Attractive woman like you-- Sucky-fucked! 589 00:31:05,220 --> 00:31:06,821 One night, Marty. 590 00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:09,220 I'll put a word in down at community center for ya. 591 00:31:09,301 --> 00:31:11,861 They're looking for somebody permanent. Caretaker. 592 00:31:11,940 --> 00:31:14,021 You need never be out of work! 593 00:31:14,101 --> 00:31:17,301 Er, I'd like to, but I've got a girlfriend and she's lovely. 594 00:31:17,381 --> 00:31:19,900 It's still all in full working order. I've even had a bath! 595 00:31:19,980 --> 00:31:23,420 -It's not that, honest, Lillian! -I'll pay you! Double money. 596 00:31:23,501 --> 00:31:25,660 Nobody need ever know! Oh! 597 00:31:28,341 --> 00:31:29,821 OK. 598 00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:31,980 ♪ ...to create a dream come true ♪ 599 00:31:33,261 --> 00:31:36,940 ♪ So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold ♪ 600 00:31:37,021 --> 00:31:39,621 ♪ And starlight in your eyes of blue... ♪ 601 00:31:41,061 --> 00:31:43,341 [knocks] Are you ready, Marty? 602 00:31:44,101 --> 00:31:45,621 Marty? 603 00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:51,341 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm really, really sorry! 604 00:31:51,420 --> 00:31:53,541 -Marty, what happened? -Have you joined the navy? 605 00:31:53,621 --> 00:31:55,700 She went mental! Had me dressing up as her dead husband. 606 00:31:55,781 --> 00:31:57,460 -Lillian? -She wanted me to shag her! 607 00:31:57,541 --> 00:31:59,900 She were offering money and everything. Bucket of spunk! 608 00:31:59,980 --> 00:32:01,581 -Oh, Come here. -No, no. Now I've let you down 609 00:32:01,660 --> 00:32:03,141 and I-- I've lost me work and I said I wouldn't. 610 00:32:03,220 --> 00:32:05,101 I'm really sorry, Sue. But it weren't my fault, honest. 611 00:32:05,180 --> 00:32:06,861 It's all right. We'll manage. 612 00:32:06,940 --> 00:32:08,980 I noticed they're looking for checkout girls 613 00:32:09,061 --> 00:32:12,021 -at Cost Checker. -Mmm. Five-fifty an hour. 614 00:32:14,061 --> 00:32:15,341 How much is Lillian offering? 615 00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:18,381 [chuckling] 616 00:32:19,021 --> 00:32:21,940 -[clattering] -[police siren wailing] 617 00:32:31,141 --> 00:32:32,900 Lip. What the fuck you doing? 618 00:32:32,980 --> 00:32:35,581 Is that what Juliet said to Romeo? 619 00:32:35,660 --> 00:32:37,381 It would be if he turned up pissed 620 00:32:37,460 --> 00:32:39,061 at four in the morning. Where's Jack? 621 00:32:39,861 --> 00:32:40,861 Still at the party. 622 00:32:42,101 --> 00:32:43,180 I had to see you. 623 00:32:44,061 --> 00:32:46,061 You make me so fucking horny. 624 00:32:46,141 --> 00:32:48,261 Is that what Romeo said to Juliet? 625 00:32:49,180 --> 00:32:50,621 Act four, scene five. 626 00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:52,341 [both chuckle] 627 00:32:53,460 --> 00:32:54,541 Wait there. 628 00:33:19,420 --> 00:33:20,581 [buzzing] 629 00:33:20,660 --> 00:33:21,900 She's got two of them in there. 630 00:33:23,261 --> 00:33:24,940 You've got a lot of catching up to do. 631 00:33:25,021 --> 00:33:26,700 [buzzing] 632 00:33:33,381 --> 00:33:36,220 What a night! Party was brilliant! 633 00:33:36,301 --> 00:33:38,621 Jack gets these E's, I've never had anything like 'em, 634 00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:40,341 they make your knob tingle. 635 00:33:40,420 --> 00:33:41,940 Hey, you should come out sometime with us-- 636 00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:43,261 He's a wanker! 637 00:33:44,381 --> 00:33:45,420 The fuck you talking about? 638 00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:48,821 Look, he were the one that broke into the shop and beat Kash up. 639 00:33:49,381 --> 00:33:51,581 He were the one that stole the housekeeping money! 640 00:33:51,660 --> 00:33:54,220 Don't try and stick up for him, Lip, because I know it's right. 641 00:33:54,301 --> 00:33:55,821 -You don't even know him. -Don't I? 642 00:33:56,940 --> 00:33:58,381 We've been at it like rabbits. 643 00:33:58,460 --> 00:34:00,220 We've done it right there on the floor! 644 00:34:00,301 --> 00:34:02,141 And you know what? It's the best sex I've ever had. 645 00:34:02,740 --> 00:34:03,781 -You're lying. -Ask him. 646 00:34:04,420 --> 00:34:05,781 You're fucking lying! He's straight. 647 00:34:05,861 --> 00:34:08,340 Didn't look very straight when I was sucking his cock. 648 00:34:10,381 --> 00:34:12,820 He's greased us round with his flash car, 649 00:34:12,901 --> 00:34:15,061 cool fucking life, and we've fallen for it, 650 00:34:15,141 --> 00:34:16,700 but who is he, Lip? 651 00:34:17,260 --> 00:34:18,780 Who the fuck have we let into our lives? 652 00:34:18,860 --> 00:34:21,941 He's not your fucking mate! He's fuck all to do with you. 653 00:34:22,021 --> 00:34:24,421 All I wanted was something different outside of this house, 654 00:34:24,501 --> 00:34:25,901 this fucking family! 655 00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:27,780 And you can't stand it, can you? 656 00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:30,141 You can't stand being left behind. 657 00:34:30,220 --> 00:34:31,901 It's not about me, Lip. 658 00:34:32,981 --> 00:34:34,621 He's the best mate I've ever had. 659 00:34:36,061 --> 00:34:37,541 His sister's amazing. 660 00:34:38,541 --> 00:34:40,700 And you have to go and interfere with it. 661 00:34:40,780 --> 00:34:42,941 Open your eyes. He's a cunt! 662 00:34:43,021 --> 00:34:44,700 You're the one that brought him into this house, 663 00:34:44,780 --> 00:34:46,820 so you're the one that can get rid of him. 664 00:34:46,901 --> 00:34:48,700 [sighs] You know what, Ian? 665 00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:51,021 That's not gonna happen. 666 00:35:13,501 --> 00:35:14,901 Got any plans for tonight? 667 00:35:16,340 --> 00:35:18,541 No, not really. Why? What you offering? 668 00:35:18,621 --> 00:35:20,221 Me and Zoe are going local, 669 00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:22,181 thought you could bring Claire along. 670 00:35:22,261 --> 00:35:23,421 Fucking foursome! 671 00:35:23,981 --> 00:35:25,701 You'll be arranging dinner parties next. 672 00:35:26,741 --> 00:35:28,541 Actually, there'll be five of us. 673 00:35:28,621 --> 00:35:29,901 Bring your mate, Charlie. 674 00:35:31,701 --> 00:35:34,741 -[Frank] No, no! Jesus fucking-- -[Sheila panting] Please. 675 00:35:34,820 --> 00:35:36,340 -[Frank] I'm trying to get ready! -I need you. 676 00:35:36,421 --> 00:35:38,741 I need you to perform for me, Frank. 677 00:35:38,820 --> 00:35:40,820 -[Sheila breathes heavily] -[Frank] I'm fucking exhausted! 678 00:35:40,901 --> 00:35:42,541 -Fuck! -You can't deny a woman 679 00:35:42,621 --> 00:35:44,941 her sexual needs. [pants] I'm in my prime. 680 00:35:45,021 --> 00:35:49,101 -[indistinct shouting] -What's happening? 681 00:35:49,181 --> 00:35:50,501 They're role-playing. 682 00:35:50,581 --> 00:35:53,741 [Sheila] She's being a whore, he's refusing to pay. 683 00:35:55,581 --> 00:35:57,741 She's calling him all kinds of bastard. 684 00:35:58,381 --> 00:35:59,581 [Sheila panting] 685 00:35:59,661 --> 00:36:01,701 He's hitting her. He's hitting her. 686 00:36:01,780 --> 00:36:03,860 -He's hitting her. Oh. -[Kelly screaming] 687 00:36:03,941 --> 00:36:05,981 [indistinct shouting] 688 00:36:06,061 --> 00:36:08,461 Frank, he really is hitting her. Oh, God, Frank. 689 00:36:08,941 --> 00:36:10,581 Oh, God, Frank. No! He's hitting her! 690 00:36:10,661 --> 00:36:13,981 [Frank] Well-- Oh, fucking hell, Sheila! 691 00:36:14,061 --> 00:36:16,621 -[Sheila shrieks] -[man grunts] 692 00:36:17,501 --> 00:36:19,581 -Get up or you get another one. -Jesus! 693 00:36:20,461 --> 00:36:21,581 What sort of place is this? 694 00:36:22,381 --> 00:36:25,981 It's just a normal family home. How much he owe you? 695 00:36:26,061 --> 00:36:27,780 -Er, 50. -Come on. 696 00:36:30,421 --> 00:36:33,141 Here. You'll need that for the deposit on your next accommodation. 697 00:36:33,221 --> 00:36:34,221 Now, get out. 698 00:36:35,901 --> 00:36:37,901 -Go on. -[man grunts] 699 00:36:41,221 --> 00:36:42,181 [dog barking] 700 00:36:49,221 --> 00:36:51,461 Without further ado, let's welcome on stage the first act. 701 00:36:51,541 --> 00:36:53,300 It's Wendy Wagstaff, everyone! 702 00:36:53,380 --> 00:36:55,101 -Come on, Wendy. -[crowd cheering] 703 00:36:56,380 --> 00:36:58,501 Wendy's a mother of six and I believe her interests 704 00:36:58,581 --> 00:37:01,340 are smoking, drinking and the work of Archimedes. 705 00:37:01,981 --> 00:37:03,541 Er, Wendy, tell us who you're gonna be. 706 00:37:03,621 --> 00:37:06,300 Tonight, Kev, I'm gonna be... 707 00:37:06,380 --> 00:37:08,701 Britney Spears! 708 00:37:10,340 --> 00:37:12,181 ♪ Oh, baby, baby... ♪ 709 00:37:12,261 --> 00:37:14,981 -Jack, shout us one up, mate. -What are you having? 710 00:37:15,061 --> 00:37:16,261 [Lip] Same as you, please, mate. 711 00:37:16,340 --> 00:37:17,421 Another one of them, please. 712 00:37:17,501 --> 00:37:19,661 [Wendy] ♪ Supposed to know ♪ 713 00:37:21,421 --> 00:37:23,860 ♪ Something wasn't right here ♪ 714 00:37:23,941 --> 00:37:30,261 ♪ Oh, baby, baby I shouldn't have let you go ♪ 715 00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:33,941 ♪ Now you're out of sight, dear ♪ 716 00:37:34,021 --> 00:37:37,981 ♪ Show me how you want it to be... ♪ 717 00:37:40,021 --> 00:37:42,101 Sights you see when you haven't got your gun. 718 00:37:42,941 --> 00:37:45,101 I'm a man of God! I'd never do something like that! 719 00:37:45,181 --> 00:37:47,141 So, is your Pope and he were a Nazi! 720 00:37:47,221 --> 00:37:49,340 Whatever my quarrel, I would never stoop to the use of violence. 721 00:37:49,421 --> 00:37:52,261 Well, that's where we're different. Now go on, fuck off, 722 00:37:52,340 --> 00:37:54,901 -before I feed you to lions. -Yvonne! 723 00:37:54,981 --> 00:37:57,780 Yvonne, he was nothing to do with it. It was me. 724 00:37:59,581 --> 00:38:00,981 I fucked up. 725 00:38:04,741 --> 00:38:06,101 I shagged someone else. 726 00:38:08,380 --> 00:38:09,860 One of Lip's mates. 727 00:38:09,941 --> 00:38:12,101 He stole my keys, it was him that robbed you. 728 00:38:14,101 --> 00:38:15,820 It was him that nearly killed you... 729 00:38:16,501 --> 00:38:18,101 and I know you're both gonna hate me, 730 00:38:18,181 --> 00:38:21,941 but I never meant for any of this to happen, I swear. 731 00:38:22,461 --> 00:38:24,820 And I wanted to tell you sooner but he's Lip's mate. 732 00:38:26,261 --> 00:38:28,701 And they're both in the pub now, laughing and joking, 733 00:38:28,780 --> 00:38:31,101 like nothing ever happened. 734 00:38:32,581 --> 00:38:33,780 It's my fault. 735 00:38:36,581 --> 00:38:38,621 It's all my stupid fault. 736 00:38:39,541 --> 00:38:42,021 This isn't about me. You two better talk. 737 00:38:50,061 --> 00:38:52,181 ["Big spender" playing] 738 00:38:52,820 --> 00:38:54,340 [crowd cheering, whistling] 739 00:38:56,621 --> 00:38:59,340 ♪ The minute you walked In the joint ♪ 740 00:39:00,061 --> 00:39:02,780 ♪ I could feel you were A man of distinction ♪ 741 00:39:02,860 --> 00:39:05,181 ♪ A real big arsehole ♪ 742 00:39:05,820 --> 00:39:08,741 ♪ Good-looking, so refined ♪ 743 00:39:08,820 --> 00:39:11,941 ♪ Say, wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind? ♪ 744 00:39:12,021 --> 00:39:14,261 ♪ So, let me get right to the point ♪ 745 00:39:15,300 --> 00:39:19,901 ♪ I don't pop my cork for every guy ♪ Oh! I see ♪ 746 00:39:19,981 --> 00:39:21,541 ♪ Hey, big spender... ♪ 747 00:39:21,621 --> 00:39:23,421 [man] OK, get away, pal. 748 00:39:23,501 --> 00:39:24,901 ♪ Spend ♪ 749 00:39:25,981 --> 00:39:28,380 ♪ A little time with me ♪ 750 00:39:31,340 --> 00:39:35,021 ♪ Wouldn't you like to have fun, fun, fun ♪ 751 00:39:35,101 --> 00:39:39,021 ♪ How's about a few laughs, laughs, laughs ♪ 752 00:39:39,101 --> 00:39:41,941 ♪ I could show you a good time ♪ 753 00:39:42,741 --> 00:39:43,981 ♪ Let me show you a ♪ 754 00:39:45,101 --> 00:39:46,541 ♪ Good time ♪ 755 00:39:47,541 --> 00:39:49,101 ♪ The minute you walked In the joint ♪ 756 00:39:50,261 --> 00:39:51,380 ♪ I could see you were a... ♪ 757 00:39:51,461 --> 00:39:53,661 Zoe! Zoe! 758 00:39:54,741 --> 00:39:56,581 -Zoe! -What the fuck... 759 00:39:56,661 --> 00:39:59,380 What's Kash doing on this phone? Where does it come from? 760 00:39:59,461 --> 00:40:00,421 What you on about, why? 761 00:40:00,501 --> 00:40:02,300 This isn't your phone. Where'd you get it? 762 00:40:02,380 --> 00:40:03,901 -Did Jack give it yer? -Lip, I'm saying nothing... 763 00:40:03,981 --> 00:40:05,141 Tell me! 764 00:40:05,780 --> 00:40:08,581 -Oh, he got it knock-off. Why? -Bastard! 765 00:40:08,661 --> 00:40:12,340 So he did some cunt for a phone, fucking difference does it make? 766 00:40:14,981 --> 00:40:17,061 [Frank] ♪ Hey, big spender ♪ 767 00:40:18,421 --> 00:40:20,581 ♪ Hey, big spender... ♪ 768 00:40:22,421 --> 00:40:24,421 -You bastard! -[Jack groans] 769 00:40:24,501 --> 00:40:27,380 Come on! You've ruined everything. You fucking liar! 770 00:40:28,820 --> 00:40:32,101 Hey, you're right in the middle of the fucking crescendo here. 771 00:40:32,741 --> 00:40:35,141 -[music ends] -[Lip grunts] 772 00:40:37,621 --> 00:40:40,181 What's he done, tell me what the fuck he's done! 773 00:40:40,261 --> 00:40:41,780 -I'll tell ya. -And who the hell are you? 774 00:40:41,860 --> 00:40:44,621 -[all groan] -See him? 775 00:40:44,701 --> 00:40:46,780 He's the one that broke into our shop. 776 00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:48,300 Left Kash for dead 777 00:40:48,380 --> 00:40:50,340 and he'd do the same to any one of yer. 778 00:40:51,101 --> 00:40:51,981 You're a dead man. 779 00:40:53,261 --> 00:40:54,501 [Jack grunts] 780 00:40:55,421 --> 00:40:56,261 Lads. 781 00:40:57,461 --> 00:40:59,221 [Jack] Agh! Jesus! 782 00:41:08,221 --> 00:41:09,541 Shall I start again or what? 783 00:41:16,501 --> 00:41:19,021 It were the first time, Kash, honest. 784 00:41:19,101 --> 00:41:21,820 There's never been anybody else and there won't be again. 785 00:41:21,901 --> 00:41:23,300 -It's just-- No. -Ian. 786 00:41:24,181 --> 00:41:26,181 I have to say it because look at you! 787 00:41:27,541 --> 00:41:28,701 What he did. 788 00:41:29,581 --> 00:41:31,141 And that was my doing. 789 00:41:33,221 --> 00:41:37,221 Cos you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. 790 00:41:39,621 --> 00:41:41,021 -Come here. -I can't. 791 00:41:41,581 --> 00:41:43,141 I don't deserve you. 792 00:41:46,501 --> 00:41:47,820 [Ian sobbing] 793 00:41:48,300 --> 00:41:50,820 If it hadn't been that guy, it'd have been someone else. 794 00:41:50,901 --> 00:41:53,581 I made a mistake, that's all. 795 00:41:54,661 --> 00:41:56,221 Just a stupid mistake. 796 00:41:56,300 --> 00:41:58,300 We always knew it wouldn't last forever, Ian. 797 00:41:58,741 --> 00:41:59,860 [Ian] No. 798 00:42:01,780 --> 00:42:03,340 Don't talk like that, Kash. 799 00:42:04,501 --> 00:42:05,461 Please. 800 00:42:06,340 --> 00:42:08,780 Just don't-- Don't talk like it's over. 801 00:42:11,421 --> 00:42:12,780 I've met someone else. 802 00:42:16,421 --> 00:42:17,421 Who is he? 803 00:42:17,501 --> 00:42:19,941 Does it matter? He's single. Older. 804 00:42:20,981 --> 00:42:23,021 -He knows what he wants. -[sobs] 805 00:42:23,101 --> 00:42:24,901 Were you gonna fucking tell me? 806 00:42:27,461 --> 00:42:28,581 Harrogate. 807 00:42:29,901 --> 00:42:31,061 One last weekend. 808 00:42:32,621 --> 00:42:34,101 [Ian sobs] 809 00:42:54,661 --> 00:42:56,941 [siren wailing in distance] 810 00:43:02,621 --> 00:43:03,621 -[both gasp] -Jesus! 811 00:43:03,701 --> 00:43:05,741 -Mandy. -You scared me half to death. 812 00:43:06,741 --> 00:43:07,780 [sighs] 813 00:43:08,421 --> 00:43:10,061 -God, you-- -[Mandy] State of you. 814 00:43:11,981 --> 00:43:13,261 It's gonna be a girl. 815 00:43:14,181 --> 00:43:15,461 Our little baby daughter. 816 00:43:16,340 --> 00:43:17,860 She's due start of next month. 817 00:43:20,581 --> 00:43:22,061 Can I... 818 00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:23,621 -touch her? -[Mandy chuckles] 819 00:43:24,340 --> 00:43:25,741 Go on, then. Be quick. 820 00:43:31,101 --> 00:43:33,621 Listen, my mum's on her way, so you'd best not hang about. 821 00:43:33,701 --> 00:43:34,981 Yeah. 822 00:43:37,181 --> 00:43:38,581 See you around then. 823 00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:41,900 Good luck, yeah? 824 00:43:51,261 --> 00:43:52,701 [Ian] Sometimes, 825 00:43:52,780 --> 00:43:54,701 we get so wrapped up in getting what we want... 826 00:43:55,701 --> 00:43:58,981 that we never really ask ourselves why we wanted it in the first place. 827 00:44:36,380 --> 00:44:38,421 [distant siren wailing] 828 00:44:40,621 --> 00:44:42,661 [indistinct shouting] 829 00:44:42,741 --> 00:44:43,860 Lip, they've robbed the shop! 830 00:44:43,941 --> 00:44:45,380 Mandy Maguire's been taken to hospital. 831 00:44:45,461 --> 00:44:47,701 My daughter's been knocked down and someone's gonna get 832 00:44:47,780 --> 00:44:49,820 a big fucking kicking for it, I'll tell you that for nothing. 833 00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:52,860 Take it from me, this horse has already won. 834 00:44:52,941 --> 00:44:54,541 We'll get all the cash together we can 835 00:44:54,621 --> 00:44:55,860 and we'll put it all on. 836 00:44:55,941 --> 00:44:57,981 Stay away from my daughter and her baby. 837 00:45:41,141 --> 00:45:42,261 Are you the handyman? 838 00:45:43,380 --> 00:45:45,300 -What is it you need fixing? -I've written a list. 839 00:45:46,941 --> 00:45:49,380 Lillian recommended you. 840 00:45:51,141 --> 00:45:54,101 That all looks OK. Will you be needing a quote? 841 00:45:54,181 --> 00:45:55,941 [Marty stifles outburst] 58337

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